


Those Who Fight Monsters

by Shadow_Chaser



Series: Jaegers & Kaiju Universe [1]
Category: Code Geass, Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Code Geass Fusion, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst and Tragedy, Drift Bond, Drift Side Effects, F/M, Geass shenanigans, Ghost Drifting, Gipsy Danger is a badass, Intrigue, Jaeger Academy, Jaeger Pilots, Kaiju (Pacific Rim), M/M, Political Drama Llama, Politics, Slightly Suzaku-centric, The Drift (Pacific Rim), War, canceling the apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 34
Words: 176,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Chaser/pseuds/Shadow_Chaser
Summary: A Code Geass/Pacific Rim fusion: When legions of kaiju emerged from the seas, the Britannian Empire's expansion policy was halted to combat the threat. An era of unprecedented peace between warring nations gave rise to the creation of massive mechanical robots known as Jaegers to defeat their mutual enemy. But even Jaegers are fallible and now humanity is on the verge of defeat. Mankind must turn to the unlikely heroes, put aside their differences one last time and cancel the apocalypse.Or: A retelling of "Code Geass" with Jaegers and Kaiju.
Relationships: C.C. & Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Euphemia li Britannia & Kururugi Suzaku, Euphemia li Britannia & Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Hyuuga Akito/Leila Malcal, Kouzuki Kallen & Gino Weinberg, Kouzuki Kallen & Kururugi Suzaku, Kouzuki Kallen & Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Kururugi Suzaku & Gino Weinberg, Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Li Xingke/Zhou Xianglin
Series: Jaegers & Kaiju Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830331
Comments: 251
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Legume_Shadow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legume_Shadow/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Aurora Borealis](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1909806) by [Jocelyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jocelyn/pseuds/Jocelyn). 



> Because every fandom needs a Pacific Rim fusion fic and I didn't find one to my liking. Fair warning that this story deals with mature themes, death and psychology of war. There are pairings in this story, but don't expect any sex - just implications. Also - there are too many major pairings as well as characters to list, so I'm only listing the top four Jaeger pilots and their J-Tech Chiefs that will get referenced in the story a lot. The "T" warning is for swearing - after all, canceling the apocalypse tends to make people swear.
> 
> Heavily inspired by Jocelyn's "Generation K" series - especially in relation to pilots, support crews and overall relationship and Allora Gale's "Dauntless" over on ff.net. Also, plotlines may follow parts of the first movie, but this is the Code Geass world, so expect more politicking and interpersonal drama than what was in the "Pacific Rim." Working knowledge of "Akito the Exiled" is recommended, but not required.

“ _You are Drift compatible...”_

To this day, the words still haunted and echoed in Suzaku Kururugi's head, like a phantom itch that wouldn't go away. Words once thought of as praise sounded more and more like a damning curse now. He wished he could purge the memory, wipe it away with Refrain or perhaps even ask for a lobotomy. Maybe it wouldn't mock him again. But he was too much of a coward to try Refrain. It would also dredge of memories he'd rather not bring to the forefront – none of those memories would make him feel any better. In fact, they'd probably hurt – a lot. Refrain was supposed to dredge up good old days...Suzaku felt like he had none.

Not since...

“L-Look out!”

The sudden shout drew him from his daily dark thoughts and monotonous labor. Movement out of the corner of his eye made him look up; just in time to see one of the workers – Alfred his mind silently supplemented – falling from the i-beam he had been sitting on. Suzaku instinctively reacted, his bolting gun dropping from his hands. He reached out and snagged the collar of Alfred's jumpsuit as the man fell past his level.

Suzaku immediately flattened himself and his other hand shot out, gripping the edges of the i-beam he had just been sitting on, just as Alfred's weight pulled painfully at his opposite shoulder. He grunted as his chest and stomach slammed into the i-beam, but his grip on Alfred's jumpsuit did not loosen and the man hung limply in his hand, dangling in the air.

He breathed heavily, his nostrils filled with the smell of sweat, metal and the barest fragrance of cold pine air. His right arm felt like it had almost been wrenched out of his socket and his left forearm burned from the death-grip he had on the corrugated metal to prevent himself from falling along with Alfred. Suzaku hissed through his teeth, grimacing as he heard the sliding of boots along metal and the light tapping footsteps on nearby platforms and metal struts.

“Hang on, both of you! We're setting up netting!” Someone, he did not recognize the voice, shouted below him. He cracked open his eyes to see the rest of the workers in the area scrambling around the various i-beams that had been welded together to form the basic structure of what would become the last of the honeycomb lattice of concrete, metal and rebars to be the Wall of Life. The outer layer would be coated in metal plating and polymer that was supposedly designed to repel kaiju attacks. Sakuradite-infused cannons would be mounted on top of the wall at set intervals to further prevent a kaiju from approach.

“Huh-wha...?”

Suzaku squinted down towards where Alfred dangled from his hand to see the man's head lift up. “Don't...move,” he grunted out and saw Alfred move his head up, trying to look up before he looked down and around. Suzaku winced as he could feel the man's movement in his arms. He tightened his grip, sucking a deep breath thru his nose and smelled metal and the faint odor of something sour as it was pressed against the beam. “Don't move!” he half-shouted as best as he could, but his command was obeyed.

“S-Sorry...” Alfred whispered. It was so faint that only the wisp of cold Artic wind carried his voice up to Suzaku. “T-Thanks...”

“We're not out of this yet...” Suzaku huffed, trying not to cough from the flecks of metal he was breathing in. He could tell what the faint sour odor was now; shit. He or someone else who had been working on this particular section must have originally stepped in it. He grimaced. There were worse smells, but against the cold, but fresh Arctic air, he wished it wasn't so.

“S-Suzaku...that...you?” Alfred asked, his voice a little louder.

“...Yeah...” Suzaku muttered as he tried to see what the others were doing from his vantage point. His arms were screaming now; stretched to their limits with the dual grip. “The fuck is taking them so long to get the netting?” He muttered, but kept his grip firm. He had worse pain, he could deal with pulled muscles. It wasn't as bad as-

“I...I can see them...they're stretching it out now,” Alfred's voice trembled.

He fell silent and Suzaku closed his eyes, sharpening his senses like he had once long ago when-

He heard the workers below him scrambling, even those above him were cautious in their movements. No one jumped onto the i-beam he was on. At least they had the sense to realize any movement above him or against the beams that connected to this particular one might loosen the precious cargo he now held in his hands. He heard a curse below him and opened his eyes again.

“What's...happening?” he asked. He could not see directly below him.

“Err...the netting doesn't stretch for an immediate drop...at least from what I can see,” Alfred suddenly twitched and renewed pain shot through Suzaku's arm. “Sorry, sorry! I'm...I'm so cold right now...”

Suzaku did not even deign an answer as he could feel his own arms numbing from both the lack of movement this high up on the partially built wall.

“Hey kid!” Suzaku recognized the voice as the foreman. “We can't get the netting right below you. We're trying to come up with something, maybe get one of the Knightmares up here to spread it out-”

“It'll be too damn late for the two of us, you fucker,” Suzaku growled out mostly to himself before he took a deep breath – definitely smelling the shit that lingered like a bad penny – and projected his voice as best as he can. “As close as you can then! I'll toss him!”

“Yeah-wait, what? Suzaku, are you fucking out of your mind?!”

“I can do it!” He shouted back. Alfred was mercifully silent for a long minute.

“...I trust you...” the other man whispered into the silence that fell as the other Wall of Life workers processed this new information. Suzaku's breath hitched on the words before he closed his eyes and looked away.

“...You shouldn't...” he muttered, but he knew his words were not loud enough to carry in the wind or anywhere else. The last time they had been said to him-

The sounds of more scrambling mercifully pulled him from his dark thoughts once more as he opened his eyes to see forms of workers ascending and descending from his vantage point.

“They're moving the net as close as possible. Seems like they heard you Suzaku,” Alfred said. Suzaku felt a twitch and ripple of pain through his right forearm as the man shivered in his grip.

“I'm sor-”

“Save it,” he shot back gruffly. “It's fucking cold up here when we're not fucking working.”

“S-Sir...” his harsh words and language cowed the man Alfred. “I'm...sorry to be of so much trouble, Suzuaku... I just...I guess I forgot to take my medication or maybe forgot this morning and I found myself passing out-”

“Stop, talking,” Suzaku shook his head slightly. “Please.”

“...Okay...” the man's words barely carried into the wind.

More agonizing minutes crawled by before the foreman shouted up towards them. “Okay, we're ready! You're gonna have to probably throw and release on a forty-five degree angle, Suzaku! It's the closest we can get the netting to!”

Suzaku smiled grimly as he realized what the delay had been. The foreman had been trying to calculate trajectory and angle of his throw to help him – having realized that he would be hindered by both his position and precarious grip. He knew he had the strength to start moving himself into a kneeling position to give himself a better leverage on throwing Alfred into the safety netting below, but with the way he had positioned himself for however many minutes it was, his muscles would not cooperate enough for him to safely do so.

“H-Hey...Suzaku!” Alfred suddenly spoke up, his voice trembling again.

“What?”

“If...uh, if this doesn't work, uh-well, thank you for at least trying!” the man got out in a rush.

Suzaku rolled his eyes, ignoring him as he concentrated on his frozen muscles. He slowly moved his arm, pushing past the sudden ripples of pain that shot through the socket of his shoulder as he got it moving again. He was definitely going to feel this no matter the outcome. He heard the squeak of fear from Alfred below as he swung him back and forth like a pendulum, trying to get both feeling back into his arm, but loosening it enough so that he had both momentum and a cantilever weight to help him.

With each swing of his arm, he extended the range, watching the angle in which he was swinging. His arm needed to be perpendicular to the i-beam he was on before he could release Alfred into the air. But he also knew his momentum and the weight of Alfred could not hold out for long. It was now or never. Suzaku took a deep breath and gritted his teeth as he made his final swing, his arm rising to the level of his body-

And released.

Alfred screamed as he flew into the air and Suzaku immediately pushed himself up from where he laid on the i-beam in time to see the man hurling towards the outstretched safety net – landing smack dab in the middle of it. It dipped painfully sharp a second before the elastic bounced Alfred back up where it settled after several dips.

Those around the area of the wall that had helped exploded in cheers and Suzaku felt a wave of relief fill him as he saw that Alfred had survived and landed safely. He fell back onto the i-beam, one hand over his own eyes as he stared up at the white-grey cloudy sky. A bubble of hysterical laughter filled him and he let it loose, tears of both joy and pain flowing along with it. His muscles hurt after being in such a stiff and unforgiving position for so long.

The beam beneath him pounded and shook as feet landed on it and near the support struts. He opened his eyes to see a shadow looming over his head before the outline of a hand was offered to him. Suzaku reached up, wincing at the pull of his shoulder and muscles and was bodily hauled up. He automatically clung onto the person that hauled him up, vaguely recognizing the man from the many shifts they took high up on the wall. He didn't recall the man's name.

Nonetheless, he received a pounding clap on his back as he was guided towards a support beam to cling onto. “Good work, Suzaku!” the man smiled, yellow teeth bisecting a face full of smudges, oil and dirt. “Let's get you to the infirmary, right? Those arms of yours must be killing you.”

Suzaku merely grimaced in return as he started to climb down. It was slow going, his arms leadened and jelly than anything else after being both stiff and over stretched. But he soon made it down, into what looked to be a fair amount of people crowding around. Cheers, wolf whistles and clapping greeted him and apparently the rest of the rescue crew. Suzaku suddenly wanted to hide from the admiration he was getting, despairing at the adulation. He did not deserve it; it was just merely his own reflexes, honed in by years of-

He tried to plaster a smile on his face as he shook hands and ducked as best as he could from men and women coming up to wish him well and talking about how spectacular of a catch he had made. A few feet away, he saw the mop of hair that was Alfred's in his own circle of well-wishes as he waved and gesticulated wildly about the catch, about the throw, about everything in general.

Someone must have noticed the pained smile he had on his face at the constant pounding to his back and shoulders before he was bodily hauled away and unceremoniously shoved to the door of the infirmary. Before Suzaku could even mumble a thanks, the crowd drifted away, still cheering and celebrating. He sighed and stared at the metal door before him for a moment before knocking.

“Come in!” the gentle, but cheery voice of the the Anchorage Wall's resident doctor invited him.

He hoped the door and saw the bright blue hair, blue-eyed doctor look up from where she had been reviewing some notes on her PDA. “Ah, Suzaku! How are you feeling? I just heard the news!”

“Hello, Dr. Croomy,” he greeted politely as she gestured for him to approach an empty bed. She immediately slipped on a pair of gloves and facemask before drawing the privacy curtain around the bed he sat upon.

Dr. Cecile Croomy was always cheery, but a tad bit eccentric. Then again, Suzaku supposed anyone growing up as they all had was prone to eccentricities. From the sliver of a gap left behind from where the curtain did not quite seal up, he saw that there was a plate of sandwiches, at least four of them, sitting on a nearby desk. He could practically smell something spicy and bitter wafting from the sandwiches and wondered what did the good doctor mix up in them.

“Oh! Do you want one?” Dr. Croomy caught him staring at the plate and he immediately shook his head.

“No thank you,” he said just as he heard his own stomach growl. He cursed silently, but Dr. Croomy did not seem to hear it and instead, folded her hands in front of her.

“That was a brave thing you did, catching Alfred like that. He didn't seem worse for wear except for some minor frostbite and coldness from being in the exposed air for so long. I just released him and he was singing your praises up and down the wall,” the doctor smiled at him.

“My arms hurt like a bitch, though,” Suzaku admitted.

“May I?” She gestured towards both of his shoulders.

“Sure,” he tried to shrug, but winced as both of his shoulders protested the movement.

“You're going to need to shed the jumpsuit, I'm afraid. I'm going to need to check the rotation on them,” Dr. Croomy explained and Suzaku nodded as he gingerly peeled himself out of the top half of his thermal-lined jumpsuit. Rolling the material down to his waist, he shivered as the cool air of the medical trailer hit his bare skin. His tee-shirt was already soaked and soiled with sweat from the day's work, and he felt rather chilled as it clung onto his back. It took him a little effort, to his embarrassment, to get out of his tee-shirt, due to the way his shoulders and arms protested against any single type of movement that went above the forty-five degree angle.

However, he was grateful that Dr. Croomy did not say a single word nor offered to help at his struggle and slowness of movement. When he finally did rid himself of the tee-shirt, he determinedly looked away from left arm where an old wound, lacerations and remnants of burn marks – ropey-looking things – wrapped around his shoulder like a demented looking tattoo. Those that had seen bits of it commented on it, but he deflected saying it was a tattoo other than what he really thought it was – a brand.

It was a brand and a permanent mark. What it represented, he dared not think of it.

Oddly enough, Dr. Croomy did not say a word about the marks as she leaned forward. In fact, she seemingly ignored it as if it was not even there. He found that quite puzzling.

“Hmm,” she gently touched his upper arms with both of her hands, squeezing it gently as she felt around it. “You've definitely strained a lot of muscle.” She poked a few places and Suzaku winced at the tenderness. “A few minor tears, but I don't think anything major.” She moved one of her hands to grab his left shoulder, squeezing it tightly for a second before moving down to his forearm and lifted it.

“...Ow...” Suzaku could not keep the hiss of pain from emerging at how sore his forearm was.

“This is where you gripped the i-beam?”

“...Yeah...”

“It's a little torn, I would suggest a scan of your upper body, just to make sure, but I get the feeling you don't want it?”

“...I've handled worse,” Suzaku replied tightly as she lowered his left arm and moved towards his right arm. He yelped at the sudden hard pressure she dug her fingers into the ball of his shoulder socket. “What the fuck?!”

Dr. Croomy ignored his outburst and continued to press tightly before pressing on two other spots. He flinched and nearly pulled himself from her grip before she released it just as suddenly. Pins and needles flooded into where she had pressed and he blinked.

“Basic acupuncture,” she smiled thinly. “It's going to hurt tonight. I can give you some muscle relaxants and painkillers. I'm keeping you here for the next two days for observation and recovery-”

“But I need to work-”

“No way in hell you are,” the woman's blue eyes sharpened dangerously and Suzaku shrank back. “I'll go up to Katase myself and demand you be paid your regular wages while you're in recovery. It's the least he can do when you've saved someone!”

“...Yes ma'am...” Suzaku knew better than to cross a doctor when angry. He learned that lesson quickly the first time he had gotten injured at his family's shrine when he was just a child. The doctor had fretted, but gave him strict instructions to not move his twisted ankle more than he had to. Suzaku thought he knew better and tried to move before he was ready and re-injured his ankle. His father, Genbu, had be livid at his disobedience of orders. After a reexamination, the doctor said he had been very lucky he did not tear his ankle further and would make a full recovery and have no hindrance in future kenjutsu _if he kept off the ankle for the duration_.

His then-mentor, Kyoshiro Tohdoh only offered one phrase of wisdom – that a hasty warrior only proved he is hasty. A patient warrior had nothing to prove.

Dr. Croomy suddenly smiled as if she had been glaring at him. “Now then, strip the rest of the way-”

“What-”

“-And I'll fetch you a gown to wear tonight while you rest and recover. You'll be sleeping in here for the next two days. I'll let Katase know of the situation. Do you want any well wishers to visit?”

“Uh...no,” Suzaku was not so shy to discard the rest of his soiled jumpsuit and boots, but he had been taken aback at the abrupt coarseness of Dr. Croomy's words. He watched as Dr. Croomy stared at him for a few seconds after he finished removing the rest of his jumpsuit before leaving. He knew any other time, he might have been thrown off at the fact that she was _staring_ at him, but he was already aware enough that his body got a lot of looks, especially from members of both sexes.

The musculature, toning and general fitness he kept himself in since...well, since that time, it was a hard habit he had tried to break, but found he couldn't. He did not know why he kept up his workouts, but something in doing them helped keep the demons and unpleasant memories at bay during those time. Even when he knew the workout was related to those memories.

His curtain was pulled back a little as a pair of sweatpants and long gown was placed on the small table along with clean socks. He changed into them, marveling at how _fresh_ they smelled compared to the jumpsuit he had been wearing. Facilities for the workers of the wall were adequate, enough to live in, but it had been hard to stay clean when showers were minimal three minutes per person and even then, they were lukewarm showers.

Most people took their clothing into the shower in an effort to hastily clean both themselves and the clothes they wore. Grime, dirt, dust and blood were common enough for workers of the Wall of Life. But being in the infirmary, with clothes, even though they were of very thin thermal material, smelling actually clean and sterile – it was something that Suzaku suddenly and deeply appreciated.

Another rustle of the curtain made him look up as he finished tying the open-faced gown to see Dr. Croomy approach with two pills and a glass of water. Suzaku felt his mouth salivate at the appearance of the glass of water. He had forgotten how _thirsty_ he was. She handed the pill and water over and he quickly took a sip of the water, savoring at the clean taste – not even a hint of metallic bitterness associated with the tap they all drank. He swallowed the pills and downed the whole glass, feeling a lot better.

“I'll dim the lights and try to keep the noise level down so you can get some rest, but you know...”

“It's fine,” Suzaku shook his head. “I've slept through worse.”

“Of course,” the doctor took the glass back. “Sleep well, Suzaku. You did a wonderful thing today. You should be proud of yourself.”

With that, the blue-haired doctor left, and Suzaku positioned himself onto his raised bed. He could feel the drugs hitting him already, his mind quickly succumbing to Morpheus' embrace. The last woozy thought he had was that, he would have to probably apologize to Dr. Croomy whenever he next woke up. If there was one thing he couldn't keep away – it was the nightmares.


	2. Chapter 2

_The metallic roar, animalistic, reverberated through their whole body hurt his-their ears. Knifehead howled its rage at them even though the screams and tears of metal echoed like the cries of the damned. Dread formed in him- Formed in them. They knew this was it. That this was-_

He _turned, his black hair plastered behind the white helmet, but they remembered them as wild as ever outside of the helmet. The royal purple eyes, ones always expressive – adventurous, cold, calculating, challenging, dismissive, brave, fearless, affectionate, were now filled with unmitigated fear. He opened his mouth-_

“ _Suzaku, listen to me-!”_

_There was nothing else said as a dying scream filled the air and keenly echoed in his mind before it_ snapped _leaving a sudden void-_

NO! Lelouch! LELOUCH! NO!

_He kept screaming his name-_

Suzaku started awake and snap opened his eyes. The after image of that horrific moment faded, replaced with mundane greens and silver metals of an infirmary. Cold sweat poured down his back as he realized his breaths came in harsh, ragged gasps. He tried to stifle them, stuttering as he attempted to calm his racing heart. He managed it after several deep breaths. His mouth felt dry, cotton-like and he gingerly reached over to grab the cup of water that had been mercifully filled for him while he slept.

He sipped the cool liquid, coughing as the water hit the back of his dry throat. He supposed it was the medication's side effect. He rested against the pillow of the elevated bed he was on, sticking his hands back under the warm covers. His muscles felt tender and heavy, but the movement to grab water didn't seem to shoot pain around his forearms. However, they still shook with tremors and he felt a few involuntary twitches ruffle the blanket that covered him from chest down. The blanket was quite thin, but solidly warm. It must have been made of the same thermal material that he wore in the infirmary.

He grimaced as another series of twitches made themselves known. His muscles were finally relaxing, contracting and healing. Whatever the pills were, Dr. Croomy knew her stuff. It was also then that he realized he really needed to go to the bathroom. He gingerly pushed himself back up, noting that it was light out. There was no clock on the wall, so he couldn't judge how long he slept – but his full bladder was probably a good indication that he probably slept more than the six hours he normally got.

He grunted a little as he swung his legs over to the side, just as the privacy curtain was pulled back slightly to reveal Dr. Croomy. “Oh! Suzaku you're awake-”

“Bathroom?” he asked.

“Three beds that way,” she pointed towards the opposite side of the room and he nodded.

He walked, his head still somewhat foggy, but did not feel any dizziness or vertigo from the medication that had knocked him out. The bathroom was big enough for him to take two steps to the one-person-sized shower and one step away from the toilet and push-closed door. He did his business and washed his hands, marveling as a layer of dirt and grime came away. Feeling a lot better, he contemplated using the shower, but suspected Dr. Croomy would not appreciate it. A single shampoo bottle with the faint odor of something fresh and feminine wafted from the shower stall. He suspected this bathroom was one she used for herself as well as for her patients.

Stepping back out, he walked back to see her taking a few notes from the monitors nearby.

“How long-”

“Twelve hours,” Dr. Croomy smiled. “You hungry?”

Suzaku felt his cheeks redden as he heard his stomach growl loudly.

“I'll take that as a yes. Let me send for a tray of food from the commissary,” the doctor smiled before leaving. Before she pulled the curtain back she added. “Back into the bed, soldier. You're not ready to leave just yet.”

“Ma'am,” Suzaku had not quite been thinking of leaving, but once the word was out, he obeyed. He climbed back into the bed, settling under the covers and relaxing into the foam and plastic mattress. The material was made out of the same ones common in all military installations – not quite made for comfort – but not so rock solid that one couldn't sleep on it.

By his internal clock estimates, it was perhaps about half an hour before he heard the door to the infirmary open and close again. The smell of the gruel usually served at the wall's commissary would have normally turned him off, but after going without food for so long, it smelled nice. The doctor re-entered and pulled up a sliding table for him, setting the tray down.

“I've got some condiments if you want them: wasabi, sriracha sauce, some dijon mustard, essence of durian-”

“I'm okay,” Suzaku fought to keep the horror off of his face as she seemed quite oblivious to the flavors of what she had been listing, all with a pleasant smile on her face.

“All right then. Eat up. You have a special visitor waiting to see you.”

The spoonfull of the grey-beige gruel – plain oatmeal and probably something akin to grits – was halfway to Suzaku's mouth before he paused, staring at her. “What?”

“Not a well wisher,” Dr. Croomy hastily held up her hands. “Though, Alfred's been asking after you. He really wants to thank you again.”

“It was nothing...” Suzaku looked away as he swallowed another bite of the tasteless gruel. At least his stomach was settling. “Just so happened to be there...”

Dr. Croomy was mercifully silent for a few seconds before she sighed quietly. “Well...finish up...” she looked like she was about to say more before she got up and left, closing the curtain behind her. Suzaku strained his ears to hear her exit the infirmary, leaving him with the muffled sounds of construction and people shouting in the distance. He poked the unappetizing gruel in front of him and forced himself to finish whatever was on his plate.

Maybe it would have been better to take one of sauces she had offered. It might have given a bit of a better taste than what he got and perhaps give him a moment to focus on anything but the nightmare that woke him up. He tried not to think about it, but in the muffled silence of the infirmary, it was hard. It was still as vivid as ever and he could _feel_ the phantom echo, the ghostly remnants of the Drift presence in his mind. It laughed with joy, grew hot with anger, and burned with the passion that still, to this day, reminded him so painfully of what happened – of what he lost.

Suzaku constantly found himself wondering how Lelouch – his partner, best friend, lover, his other half that he never knew he needed, but desperately wanted – would make of the situation. Five years...five long years since that day and each time that unpleasant memory surfaced, it was hard for him to cope, to return to...well, normal was a relative word. The Drift psychologists they had been assigned probably would have recommended that he move somewhere fresh, start somewhere new to create new memories, new experiences to dull the old painful ones. But they also – and based on previous testimonies – the death of a Drift partner, it was something akin to killing a part of themselves. Perhaps one day, there would be recovery, but was it legitimately called 'recovery' when they all looked like walking dead?

Duc Jessop looked like as such when his wife Kaori died from cancer. Each one of his interviews as he made the media circuit looked pleasant enough, but Suzaku had met the man in person in the aftermath. He looked like a dead man walking – one foot already in his grave, waiting for the moment to join his wife in the afterlife. Duty, honor and a sense of patriotism towards the cause, towards his fellow Rangers, kept him alive.

Suzaku did not know what fueled himself.

Except...

He washed the gruel down with whatever passed for coffee at the wall's commissary and settled back onto the bed. Burrowing down into the covers once more, he fell into a light doze before he snapped awake again at the sound of the door opening.

Dr. Croomy drew back the curtains and a soft smile was on her face as she took the tray off of the rolling table. She must have noticed his sleepy state as she shook her head slightly. “I can delay your visitor for another few hours if you want to catch up on sleep?”

Suzaku was tempted to say yes, but at the same time he really did not want to delve back into another nightmare, especially with the freshness of _that_ particular one still lingering. “Why?” was what came out of his mouth instead.

The blue-eyed doctor tilted her head, puzzled. “...Why?”

“You can't tell me who-”

“Ah...well...I could, but I was hoping that maybe it would cheer you up?”

He was instantly on guard and it showed on his face as the doctor hastily put up a hand. “Please just see to this visitor, all right? I only wish the best for my patients...” She finished with a slightly cringed smile. “Please?”

“...Fine,” Suzaku sighed. The faster he perhaps got whatever 'special guest' the doctor was alluding to out of the way, perhaps he would be left alone. Dr. Croomy did not seem like the type of doctor that would be malicious and even though he only saw her once in the five years he had been working on the walls, he had heard stories of her compassion – and eccentric habit of offering really unusual condiments and sandwich creations – so figured the guest she kept mentioning was perhaps harmless.

Dr. Croomy smiled, making her look quite young, before she nodded and left. Suzaku shifted in his bed, pulling and smoothing his blankets out before he raised the head of the bed up a little more. Just as he finished, he heard the door to the infirmary open and the doctor's voice speaking.

“-watch out for this step here, Your Highness-

Suzaku felt his blood run cold.

There was only one royal family that used that particular title. And if a member was here-

“Thank you, Cecile...”

His eyes widened as he recognized the voice. Lilting, light, a pitch that should never have been used for war, but determined, strong and forceful whenever needed. It was a voice that had _begged_ him to stay when he left the service. He dismissed it back then, but now...after five years...

The curtain was drawn back and Suzaku found himself staring at the face of Euphemia li Britannia, the Third Princess of the Britannian Empire, but legally not in the line of succession of her own volition. Her voluminous hair which she normally wore in twin loose buns around her ears was now wrapped up in two simple braids that pulled back and joined with a large third fishbone style down her back. Age had been kind to her in the five years since he saw her. She had been sixteen when they both graduated from the Academy – a six-month intensive course – twenty when he left the service. And now...five years, a beautiful twenty-five year old with the stately grace of a royal Princess.

“Princess Euphemia,” he murmured as he felt his breath hitch and choke at the sight of her.

She had no such reservations judging by the sudden sobbing gasp that fell from her lips. Suzaku suddenly found himself engulfed in a mass of pink hair, wet tears and the smell of rose lilies as she hugged him tightly. He stiffened, not sure if it was still proper of him to hug her back, but she just as quickly released him with a teary-eyed smile on her face.

“I couldn't believe it was you here, but Cecile told me-”

Suzaku looked beyond her to see the doctor about to close the curtain to give them more privacy before she turned. A sheepish smile was on the doctor's face. “Uh...I'm sorry, Ranger Kururugi, but...I swear, I can explain if you'll let me...”

Suzaku sucked in a breath at the title and last name she had thrown out towards him. No one, not even the foreman, knew of his last name when he had applied as a worker on the walls. He only gave them his first name and work permit number along with a bank account that he had opened up a week after he left the service. For Dr. Croomy to address him so...

“Suzaku, please don't be mad at Dr. Croomy, she was, uh, she was assigned to watch you-”

“ _What?!_ ” he hissed, feeling suddenly betrayed, angry and furious as his gaze sharpened into a glare at the doctor.

“I was only told to keep an eye on you and make periodic reports about your status,” Dr. Croomy held up her hands as if to ward him off if he dared lunge from the bed.

Suzaku had half a mind to do so, wondering why would the PPDC _do_ such a thing to him even after all these years.

“It's protocol for anyone leaving the PPDC, especially ex-Rangers! We didn't know-” She hesitated before marshaling her strength as she straightened. “We...didn't know what to expect after...after that-”

“After Knifehead,” Suzaku finished, his voice so cold, emotionless that it even surprised himself. “Go on, say it.” He stared at her, letting her see the terrible, terrible anguish and nightmares he had to live with for the last five years.

“...After...K-Knifehead,” she finished, her voice small, her courage fleeing. There was something that was in her eyes now, an emotion he suddenly did not want to look at and turned away, glaring at nothing in particular.

“S-Suzaku...” Euphemia's – no, Euphie, he could never call her by her full name – small hands, calloused from years and years of working, touched his forearm. They felt tiny and fragile. “I'm...s-sorry, Suzaku...I didn't realize...I...”

Suzaku slumped against the bed, avoiding Euphie's earnest cornflower blue-eyed look. The sharp anger, the hurt he felt suddenly drained away, leaving him exhausted. “What do you want?” he said tiredly.

The ringing of the curtains closing told him Dr. Croomy had left them alone, but there was no sound of a door opening or closing which meant the doctor had only given them the illusion of privacy. Now that he knew the doctor was a plant by the PPDC, he wondered what report she was going to write up to whatever superior she reported to. Was it Field Marshal Tohdoh? Marshal Clovis la Britannia? Or even higher than that? Maybe one of the Board of Governors like Prince Schneizel el Britannia or one of China's High Eunuchs? They always seemed inordinately interested in the psychology of the pilots – trying to figure out who would be the perfect soldier to merit the honor of becoming a Ranger. Perfect and also obedient...he had scoffed when he found out the circumstances behind one of the pilot pairs long ago.

“H-How...how are you?” Euphie started quietly and Suzaku rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he replied shortly. “Seriously, Euphie, what do you want?”

She immediately blushed. “Y-You call me Euphie...”

He turned his head and stared at her. “...Yeah...”

She absently wiped a tear from her eye. “I'm so happy. You...you remembered-”

“Knifehead didn't wipe my memories, _Princess_ ,” he stressed and her smiled immediately turned into a sad frown. “Why are you here? Did you happen to get a report from Dr. Croomy about what happened-”

“N-No...uh, what happened? Why are you here in the infirmary? Did something happen?”

“Never mind,” Suzaku shook his head, feeling a flash of guilt and nostalgia run through him. Euphie's rapid firing of questions reminded him painfully of days before. Where she sought out answers, pestered those in her sweet and gentle way; tried to get all information before passing it along as accurately as possible. She had been so efficient at her job that many of the other crews wanted to poach her to work for them.

“Suzaku...”

“One of the workers fell and I so happen to catch him mid-air. Pulled my arm muscles while I'm at it. Now, Dr. Croomy says I have to rest up for the next thirty-six hours before I'm even allowed back on shift.”

She pursed her lips for second before nodding. “That's so brave of you, Suzaku.”

He snorted.

“And typical,” she looked up at him again, renewed tears shining in her eyes. He raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed, a watery sound. “Don't deny it Ranger Kururugi. You have a good heart. You won't let something bad happen while you're in the position to help...”

“Something _bad_ did happen,” he suddenly snapped, startling her. “And I let it.”

“Suza-”

“Seriously, Euphie. Why the hell are you here?”

Euphie's small, but perfectly formed mouth opened and closed for a second before she laced her fingers together in front of her and pressed it down on the casual uniform of the PPDC she wore. It was dark grey with gold and black braided piping. Her rank was denoted with patches on the upper sleeves. Her left breast pocket held both a pin of the PPDC and several colored bars indicating meritorious service. Beneath that, there were smaller pins with Greek alphabets, denoting the kaiju kills she had participated in. Besides each kaiju bearing ominous names, they were also assigned a letter from the Greek alphabet. There were eight now...four more since-

He forced himself to ignore the pins and saw on her right breast pocket a gold bar that said [li Britannia]. A Britannian flag adorned the collar, denoting the country she represented. However, on the opposite side was a special crest – the crest of the house of the li Britannias – a mark of a royal family member. No other PPDC uniform held such a thing, not even those of other countries.

With the Britannian Empire bankrolling a majority of the PPDC in the early days, they had the most say in uniforms and what personnel could wear. Each PPDC officer and staff member had three versions, a grey one for going among civilians and for travel, a dark blue one reminiscent of the Air Force for full military dress, and last but not least, ones worn while working their shifts in various Shatterdomes.

Suzaku had to admit, he was more used to seeing Euphie with grease, bent fingers sore from typing and in coveralls than in any of her other uniforms. He had seen her in her other uniforms, but they were very rare. He saw her looking at him through her lowered head and her cheeks blushed a light pink. He ignored it. They both knew that what had been a mutual crush between the two of them while they were at the Academy would never come to pass. Not with the albatross hanging over their heads. Still, they were just human and there was nothing against eating any eye candy. He knew that his hospital gown didn't leave much of his upper chest and bare arms to the imagination, especially since he had his blanket resting on his stomach and below instead of pulled up to his chest to sleep.

“...You look good, Suzaku...” Euphie said shyly.

“Thanks, but you're dodging the question...” He stared at her, meeting her cornflower-blue eyes with his own emerald green ones.

“Cornelia is making an official inspection. We've been traveling up from Pendragon for the last few days, inspecting the sections,” Euphie sighed, “I was...requested to join her even though I tried everything I could to get out of it. Marshal Tohdoh ordered me to go.”

“Cornelia?” Suzaku was surprised. The last he heard of Euphie's older sister was that she was a senior Jaeger pilot and part-time instructor at the Academy. Cornelia li Britannia, nicknamed the Witch of Britannia for her almost supernatural ability to pilot her Jaeger the Vincent Gloucester with her knight and Drift partner, Gilbert G.P. Guilford. Rumor had it they were lovers, but it was never confirmed nor denied by both the PPDC or the Britannian Empire. Based on his own experiences, he knew it was the likely case as it was for a majority of non-sibling Drift partners.

“She's now Marshal of the Pendragon Shatterdome,” Euphie's fingers twitched. “She wanted me to transfer from Hong Kong to there...Marshal Tohdoh was kind enough to intervene and countermand the orders, but as a result, I was sent to accompany her on this tour...”

“What happened to Clovis?” Suzaku was confused. The last he heard, Clovis la Britannia was in charge of the Pendragon Shatterdome. The Third Prince of of Britannia was someone many in the PPDC made fun of for two things – being a political appointee with little to no military or Academy background and being a complete fop with no idea of tactics or deployment awareness. It was a miracle that the Pendragon Shatterdome was still standing during Clovis' reign.

“...He...died,” Euphie grimaced, “at least that's the official word.”

“ _Official?!_ ”

“Cornelia thinks Clovis was assassinated by subversive parties who infiltrated Pendragon. Kaiju groupies and those who are against the war are probably to blame as they've been constantly targeting the Shatterdome even before construction began.”

Suzaku blinked. “I'm...sorry,” he apologized. He was not that heartless nor indifferent to the pain Euphie must have felt finding out another one of her half brothers was dead.

She smiled wanly. “It's fine...Father, er, the Emperor suggested this tour to get Cornelia's mind off of the whole conspiracy anyways. And also supposedly for the good of morale.”

“But...I thought those who built the wall were opposed to the Shatterdomes?”

Euphie shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, Cornelia is also in charge of the wall project and has even declared that the Pendragon Shatterdome will be decommissioned once the wall is finished.”

“I...saw the news. Sydney is just about to be decommissioned isn't it? And what about Hong Kong? Where you're based?”

“When Nagasaki Shatterdome was decommissioned, Marshal Tohdoh transferred to Hong Kong for command.”

“Japan was the first to have the walls finished...” Suzaku muttered a little darkly. “Cowards...”

“...You can't blame them after Tokyo...”

He pressed his lips together and looked away. Euphie's small hand gently touched his and he turned back to see her shaking her head. He sighed. “Sorry...” he apologized gruffly.

She merely nodded, folding her hands demurely on her lap as silence fell between them for a few seconds. She shifted in the hard plastic chair she had been given. “I'm officially here as a representative of the Britannian Empire, but I only agreed to Marshal Tohdoh's request to join the inspection because he's currently overseeing the final stages of a project we've been working on for the last six months.”

Suzaku stayed silent. Curiosity prickled him, but he was a master of patience. It was taught to him and lingered in him from his time in the Drift...

“We've been activating every single scrap we could get our hands on,” she looked down for a moment, her fingers clenching the fabric of her pants before she released her grip. She stared at him, her eyes serious. “There's an old Jaeger, Mark III, you may know it... It needs a pilot...”

Suzaku blinked once, slowly, before looking away. If what she was saying was true... He could not believe they raided the Jaeger Junkyard, the _graveyard_ to resurrect such a machine. But at the same time, something within him stirred, a sudden and ravenous yearning that surprised himself. It took him some effort to tamp it down, shuddering as he did so. He closed that chapter of his life. He had to – there was no other way. He couldn't-

“...Why?” he croaked out, his mouth dry. He could still hear the dying screams in his mind, in his ears. He could _feel_ -

“I...wouldn't have volunteered for this or asked you if I didn't believe in you, Suzaku,” Euphie whispered.

He looked at her, letting her see the devastation that still haunted him. The death and echo of pain that never went away, even after all of these years. “I...” he took a deep breath, but found his voice cracking. “I...still hear him, Euphie. I hear...L-Lelouch... He...he died in my head, he died in physical form. He died when Knifehead-”

He felt tears prickling the corner of his eyes, but they did not fall. “Do you know what it's like to feel someone you loved with your whole being die and be completely and utterly _helpless_ to do anything? That all you could have done was not your best? That even the simple act of revenge was _not enough_? I...I don't...I don't want to do that anymore, Euphie. I...I can't have anyone else in my head. Not ever...not-”

“Suzaku-”

“No,” he shook his head. “I'm...no, I'm not sorry. I just...whatever you're planning, whatever Marshal Tohdoh is planning, I can't do it anymore. Please...please don't ask me to, okay? Just...leave me be...” He slumped back against his pillow and stared up at the ceiling. “Let me just have my memories of him because there's nothing else left...”

She sniffled and he looked over to see tears falling from her eyes before she rubbed them with the back of her hand. “All-all right. I...I'll leave. I'm sorry for bothering you,” she stood up quietly and Suzaku looked away again.

“But Suzaku,” she suddenly said as she drew back the curtains. “I...don't think Lelouch would have wanted you to live like this...even in a world without him. He would have wanted you to live. I...I hope you do live Suzaku. Live.” With that, she left, the door closing behind her.

Suzaku finally allowed the tears that had been forming at the corner of his eyes fall as he threw an arm over them. His only thought was that, it was a very lonely life to live without Lelouch.


	3. Chapter 3

Thirty-six hours later, per Dr. Croomy's instructions, Suzaku was officially discharged from the infirmary. Exiting the small metal trailer, he noticed that security was tighter than normal and there was an increase in military personnel – which meant Cornelia – and by extension Euphie – was still here on their inspection tour. He deftly avoided the extra security as he made his way to the requisitions office.

His bolting gun had been lost when he dropped it to save Alfred. From the height he had been working on, it was probably a shattered mess. It would come out of his pay, making for the next two weeks a little leaner for Suzaku to buy the food he would need, but he hoped to perhaps bargain some goodwill from Alfred to ease the hardship.

“Name?” the requisitions officer was a burly-looking man, gruff in his voice, but rumor had it he doted upon his two grandchildren who lived in nearby Anchorage.

“Suzaku, sir,” he slipped him his worker's ID and the man stared at him through the metal bars.

“What are you doing here?”

“I dropped my bolting gun,” Suzaku shrugged.

“Ah, well, for a good cause, saving Alfred like that,” the man nodded, “still, this is going to have to come out of your pay-”

“I know...” he shook his head, “nothing that can't be helped though. It'll at least keep me honest and with food on my plate.”

The officer chuckled, deep and almost frog-like. “You're a good man Suzaku. A good man. I wish I can give you a top of the line, but a man's gotta eat, ya know?”

“Just don't give me one that gums up, all right? That was still a bad prank you played on me the first day.”

This time a genuine smile bisected the man's grease-covered face. “Hah! I thought you'd might have forgotten about that-”

“I'm not that senile,” Suzaku raised an eyebrow at him.

“Dunno man, could have fooled me from time to time with that occasional look on your face. Got all of the women, and a few men on in the area wanting to provide you with comfort or that sort of thing.”

“My needs are tended to,” Suzaku knew what he was talking about. Jaeger Flies, men and women who were similar to Kaiju groupies, except they worshiped the ground Jaeger pilots walked on. While a lot of them dispersed when the Anchorage Shatterdome closed, some stayed for reasons even he didn't know. Some prostituted themselves, others proselytized the so-called Golden Age of Jaegers and protested the building of the wall. They certainly crowded around the wall builders – for whatever reason he truly did not know.

Unlike Kaiju groupies who were considered mostly harmless except the ones who called themselves Kaiju cultists – he suspected they were the ones Euphie alluded to regarding Clovis, hiding under the harmless guise of groupies – Jaeger Flies were harassed from time to time by the pro-wall builders. Blamed for clinging onto an obsolete method of preventing kaiju attacks, some times Suzaku felt sorry for the Jaeger Flies that hung about. But he never approached them; both too leery with the knowledge that they might recognize him after all these years, but also the fact of an encounter with one of them in the early days of the Academy, right before he had been set to graduate.

The requisitions officer gave a guffawing laugh as he slid over a used, but fairly decent looking bolting gun. Suzaku picked it up, examining it with a careful eye as he made some adjustments to the head and tested out the trigger a little. It spun, a bit whiny with noise, but a little bit of grease would fix that soon enough. “Looks good,” he murmured. “How much?”

“Four-hundred, but for your pretty mug and the fact that Alfred's literally been singing your praises each night even to the point of providing some humorous rhymes to entertain the living shit out of me, three-fifty.”

Suzaku winced, but dutifully handed over his debit card where the money was automatically deducted. “Rhymes?”

“Yeah, who knew?” the officer returned the card back, three-hundred and fifty dollars shorter. “I asked some of the guys around and turns out the man was apparently a professor of literature at Stanford University before it got wiped by Trespasser. Seems like he lost his marbles some time after that attack – no one would say why, but it's not hard to guess that probably to do with family or something – and found himself homeless on the streets before the call of workers to work on the wall gave him something to do.”

“You like rhymes?” he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” the man shook his head, “but I do appreciate the art of it. There is an art form in stringing words together to make them lyrical and effortless. The Jaeger pilots of Tacit Ronin had some amusing haikus put together before they bit the dust.”

Suzaku raised an eyebrow, surprised at the man's confession.

“What, don't look at me like that. Please don't tell me you're one of those sobs who think all wall workers are anti-Jaegers?”

“No,” Suzaku immediately shook his head, “just...surprised.”

The requisitions officer shrugged. “Yeah, I know, a lot of people are when they find out.” He grinned, almost conspiratorially. “Some times, to pass the time, I'd like to name the bolting guns I repair and scavenge after Jaegars or kaijus. Wish I could get the materials to build my own, you know, take it for a spin, but the PPDC guard their Sakuradite and Jaeger tech like a mother with a cub.”

“They do that,” Suzaku thought the requisitions officer odd, but not too odd. They were of a generation that grew up under the shadow of eminent death and tended to become a little infantile in order to cope. He kept an open mind that each person, if they did their jobs competently, their odd quirks and habits would be overlooked – for the most part. While the PPDC rules were strict in terms of appearance and accountability along with a code of conduct and honor, a little leeway was given to those who faced death on a daily basis. He supposed outside of the PPDC, there was more room for odd quirks and habits.

“Aw, anyways, I'm taking up your time. You gotta work those credits back!”

“Yeah,” Suzaku shook his head as he flicked a casual salute towards the other man. “Thanks-”

“McTighe, or Mackie,” the officer introduced himself

“No problem, thanks again Mackie,” Suzaku left with a wave and headed towards the locker rooms to get a fresh set of equipment and to replace the one he had been working in for the last week or so. The nylon webbing that held together the harness reeked of sweat and stale mustiness. He would have to clean some of the smell off later today with the baking powder scrub he had in his locker.

Changing into his gear, he was a little puzzled at the various greetings he received when he stepped up to the elevator that would take them to mid-level before all would have to climb up the rest of the way. Whatever stories Alfred had been telling the workers here, it seemed they knew who he was even though he had no idea who they were. He did not see the other man in the elevator with him as it ascended, but hoped he could find Alfred somewhere in the top struts.

The elevator stopped shortly and the metal doors opened, only for Suzaku and everyone aboard to pause and stare.

In front of them was the Britannian Empire delegation, apparently finished with this section of the tour. Suzaku was face to face with Cornelia li Britannia and saw the woman's eyes widen a little in recognition. Behind and on her left, was her ever present shadow and Knight of Honor, Gilbert G.P. Guilford. He seemed to also recognize him as he blinked rapidly. Standing just to the right of Cornelia was Euphie, whose brow crinkled with a shadow of concern.

However, before Cornelia could say a word, Suzaku neatly stepped past her with a polite 'excuse me.' His movement seemingly broke a spell of sorts as the rest of the workers on the elevator shuffled off, moving to the side to allow the Britannian delegation to enter without issue. Just as Suzaku walked past the three, he saw a small bit of movement out of the corner of his eye and then Euphie's quiet voice urging Cornelia to leave him be.

He smiled sadly, covering it by ducking his head. Euphie was still too kind after all these years. He certainly did not deserve her sudden defense after rejecting her the day before. He further ducked into the collar of his jumpsuit as he heard murmurs around him, some of the workers wondering what had stopped them and many had seen the look they had exchanged.

“Hey! Suzaku!” Alfred's voice calling down from one of the lower struts made him look up, shielding his eyes with a hand from the afternoon sun. “Over here!”

Suzaku took the opportunity given to him by Alfred's greeting to break away from the rest of the workers and he began to climb up, his muscles feeling better after the forced bedrest. They sang and stretched as he nimbly climbed up, reaching the strut the smaller, rounded man was sitting on and bolting together.

“Hey man,” Alfred stood up easily, walking with the years of grace only gained from working the heights of i-beams easily. He extended his hand and Suzaku reluctantly met it with his own.

“Alfred,” he greeted neutrally. “You're looking well...”

The man released his hand and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah, well...I did take my meds. No vertigo for me.”

“Vertigo?” Suzaku raised an eyebrow. Normally that would disqualify a person for working the wall. The contractors that hired them did not want the liability, even though they technically could not discriminate against pre-existing conditions. No one listened to that bullshit and the courts system were so bogged up with other cases, most of them related to Kaiju Blue and damages from kaiju battles that they barely took a look at wall-related discrimination cases.

The man's sheepish smile turned a little brittle. “Gotta eat and work somehow, Suzaku.”

He nodded. It was the case for most of the wall workers. Too poor to live in the interior of Britannia or any other country that had an interior landscape. Too poor to move to the Atlantic coast, and definitely too poor to move to Africa which was now populated by the _riche noveau_ , driving out the native inhabitants or forcing them to work in a twisted form of indentured servitude. European United was home to the ultra rich and inaccessible to all but old families and those with old money even though it claimed a democratic government in opposition to the Britannian Empire.

“Hey, you all right? Did something happen between the guys and the Britannians?”

“What would happen between us?”

“Field Marshal li Britannia looked tense for a moment there. Dunno if something was said? I couldn't hear anything from up here,” Alfred shrugged.

“Nothing happened. I guess we were both surprised in that sense, didn't realize that they were coming down and we were headed up. Maybe the foreman fucked up scheduling?”

Alfred laughed. “Yeah, you're probably right.”

Suzaku forced the smile on his face at the bald-faced lie he had just said. He honestly had no idea what happened and what schedules were like with the Britannian delegation, considering he made it a point to avoid them.

“Well, anyways, I better get back to work soon. Foreman assign you anywhere?”

“J-section level twenty-seven,” Suzaku shrugged. It was near his original position where he had caught Alfred, but he was not exactly assigned it as much as he picked it to get away from everyone.

“Ah, yeah well, I got a warning from the foreman to not climb any higher than my current level. He doesn't want bad publicity for the contracting company right now,” Alfred sighed. “I probably fucked up things...”

“We all do at some point in our lives,” Suzaku replied bluntly and the man laughed again.

“I like you. How come we never got to being friends? You've been working on the wall for-”

“Five years,” he replied. He was surprised that the man actually did not mind his bluntness. He had used it to keep everyone else away to great effect.

“Yeah, well. Anything you need me to do-”

“Actually...I had to get a new bolting gun...”

Alfred winced and for a second Suzaku thought the man would backpedal on his praises or offer but he nodded.

“Ah, I get it. All right, I'll make sure to save you some of the rations. It won't be much, you know they pay us shit, but I'll see what I can do. How much was it?”

“Three-fifty,” Suzaku replied.

“What?! Mackie sold you for three-fifty?! How the fuck-”

“I'm a savior,” he rolled his eyes and the other man chuckled.

“Yes you are, Suzaku, yes you are. Now, get your ass up to working, my savior,” with a grin, Alfred placed his goggles back onto his eyes and walked away.

Suzaku turned and headed up to his position, high above the other man and several connecting beams away. He flipped his goggles on and started to work, throwing himself back into the mind numbing dullness of creating an anti-kaiju wall.

* * *

It was later that evening that Suzaku finally found himself off shift. The evening light was still bright, a somewhat perpetual sunset this time of the year with their proximity to the Arctic Circle. He was exhausted, his fingers numb from the cold as he placed the last of his equipment into the lockers. He pulled out the worn old gear that he had yet to wash along with a toothbrush, carton of baking soda and slightly dirty cloth. Sitting on a bench near his locker, he sprinkled some of the baking soda powder onto the nylon straps, he started to scrub the powder into the mesh. It would stay there for a full twenty-four hours before he would bring it into the shower with him to rinse the powder off and neutralize most of the odors.

The sound of footsteps echoing in the area was background noise to his ears until he sensed a presence stop near him. He looked up, and saw that it was Cornelia who stood in front of him, her hands on her hips, her sharp purple gaze steady if not scrutinizing. A frown graced her lips. “I knew it was you...” she said, her voice low, but not in a threatening way.

Suzaku merely stared back. He was not surprised she had sought him out after their brief encounter on the mid-level section of the wall. He was, however, readily impressed that Guilford seemed not to be anywhere nearby. Of all of the Ranger-partner bonds, Guilford had a reputation of being either the most obsessive knight and partner, or the most dedicated – depending on which view you wished to take. The man was a constant shadow whenever Cornelia either appeared in public and even in the Shatterdomes. Some of the more derisive comments towards his actions said that he even accompanied Cornelia into bathrooms just to keep her in his sight.

“Ranger Kururugi,” the Britannian Princess' lips curled over his name, as if she could not decide to pity him or condemn him. “You had a future-”

He raised an eyebrow and stared at her. “ _Had_ ,” he emphasized. “I left.”

“You could have served in the Knightmare Corps, even as Euphie's knight-”

A sudden surge of anger swooped through Suzaku. After all these _years_ , Cornelia was going to bring that particular thing up?! “I was _his_ knight even if it was in name only, Cornelia! I was Lelouch's _knight_ ,” he hissed, his fingers tightening on the nylon straps. “I wasn't going to betray everything _he_ stood for, everything my partner stood for and become Euphie's knight no matter how much _you_ wanted it.” He made sure that the older of the two li Britannian princesses heard his meaning.

The day before his resignation from the PPDC was accepted – to avoid the charges of insubordination that were brought on him from Field Marshal Tohdoh – Cornelia had visited with a plea for Suzaku to stay, to protect Euphie, to shelter her and to become her knight. He had not been so blind with grief at that time to understand that Cornelia's plea had been for the mental health and safety of her beloved sister. But at the same time, he could not believe Britannian Princess was so callous to ask him of such a thing when he had just lost his own beloved. He understood it better now, that it was her attempt at trying to help him with his grief, but it still raised his hackles that she could even conceive of such a selfishness when it was the last thing everyone in this world needed. They should have been focusing on the realization that kaijus had gotten _smarter_.

After all, Knifehead had deliberately aimed for the head of Gipsy Danger.

“Lelouch exiled himself, Suzaku. He wasn't going to ever give you the position or prestige you wanted-”

Suzaku laughed. “You think I want prestige?! You think I wanted it? I was _happy_ being his Drift partner, hell, fucking ecstatic that all of that bickering, all of his arrogance, we actually _managed_ to be Drift partners! It's not all about you Britannians taking up a majority of the Ranger spots, Cornelia. Those of us, those you all claim to look down upon as lesser countries, well, we're content with our lot in life. We don't want to be part of the Britannian system if it's going to look down on others.”

She bristled a little. “I didn't mean-”

“No, you meant it. You, Villetta, Jeremiah, Kewell, all you purists think that Japan should have been a new Area right before the kaiju decided to stomp on San Francisco. I saw the documents. It would have been Area 11 if you succeeded in your invasion.”

Cornelia frowned. “You think I'm a purist?”

Suzaku merely stared at her. “You've given no other indication that you weren't.”

She looked hurt by her words before she pressed her lips together. She was silent for a few seconds before she opened her mouth again.

“I'm...sorry, Ranger Kururugi...” She held up a hand to stop him from speaking. “It may mean very little right now, but I...I didn't mean to give that impression for all these years, least of all to you. I...” She looked away and for the first time, Suzaku saw her haughty and stern countenance look almost vulnerable for a second.

“He...even when he renounced his claim, disowned himself, he was still my baby brother...” She wrapped her arms around her stomach. “I...maybe...I was jealous...that he found someone...to look after him...”

Suzaku snorted as he looked back down and absently ran the toothbrush over another spot on the nylon webbing. “Why are you here, Cornelia?” he asked, exhausted from his anger spent. He really did not feel like justifying himself with another of the li Britannias. They were the most stubborn of the various Britannian half-siblings he met in his years as a PPDC Ranger. Their visit for the last three days had taken a emotional toll on him that he really was not used to in the last five years.

He wanted to go somewhere again where _no one_ in the PPDC could possibly find him.

Silence greeted his question and he paused from his scrubbing to look up to see a rather uncomfortable expression on her face. It was an expression he felt no Field Marshal would ever show, but then again, he supposed Rangers were an odd bunch. In formal interviews and in public, they knew how to conduct themselves, but with other Rangers, that barrier seemingly dissolved and they became more tactile, more expressive. He supposed it was a side effect of the Pons and the technology behind it along with shared experiences that only Rangers and those who went up through the third tier of Ranger training before washing out knew. Personality traits were amplified, camaraderie, rivalries, the sense to live life to the fullest each day made them almost fearless.

She finally shrugged. “I honestly don't know why. Maybe I wanted to see something of my brother in you. Maybe I was surprised. But-”

“Holy fucking shit!”

The two of them started at the sudden loud swear. Pounding footsteps echoing beyond them made them look to see several others running from the direction of the bunks towards the commissary.

One of the people skidded to a stop and poked his head in. Suzaku did not recognize him. “Yo, turn on the TV! They're saying Sydney Wall just fell!”

Suzaku immediately scrounged for the grimy remote and flicked on the lone TV that was in the locker rooms. He stood, watching with somewhat horrified eyes at the sight that beheld him.

“Yet another kaiju attack took place just moments ago,” the on-air talent was saying. The image shown was of a beastly monster, with a bladed crest face and three eyes on each side. It was shown crashing through the completed Sydney Wall like a hot knife through butter. “The kaiju, a Category 4, broke through the wall in less than an hour.”

Suzaku stiffened as the creature roared. He avoided news of any kaiju attacks for the last five years, Knifehead's screams haunting him during his nightmares. However, watching the wall, the very same type of wall that he was currently building shatter like it was nothing...He saw pieces of Sakuradite cannons littering the debris, their highly explosive material blowing bigger pieces off of the wall.

“The wall, which had been dubbed unbreachable by its builders-”

He shot a look at Cornelia who was not quite looking at the TV, but had her PDA out and was holding it to her ear. He realized no one told her about the kaiju attack when there should have been an alert.

“Ironically, it was the recently decommissioned Jaeger, Striker Eureka, piloted by Gino Weinberg and Kallen Stadtfeld, that finally took the beast down,” the on-air talent was saying.

Suzaku watched as the only Mark V Jaeger to ever be built, Striker Eureka, intercepted the kaiju and easily outmatched it, uppercutting it and smashing it against a skyscraper among the screaming civilians running for cover. It did not even hesitate to launch its payload of chest-missiles at point-blank range, spraying Kaiju Blue and killing the monster like it was nothing. The beast groaned in its death throes as it fell to the ground, cratering the street it had been fighting on. The footage then cut to Kallen, her red hair messy from her time in the drivesuit, but her blue eyes chipped and fiercely defiant.

“Ranger Stadtfeld-”

“It's Kouzuki. Kallen Kouzuki. The Britannians want me to call myself Stadtfeld for the last however many years. Whatever,” she shot back to the on-site reporter who blinked, before shoving her microphone in front of Kallen's face.

“Is the Jaeger Program now reactivated?”

“Look, they decommissioned the Jaeger Program because of mediocre pilots, it's that simple.” There was arrogance and bravado in her words, but he saw the furious anger in them. He wondered what she was so angry about. “That's Striker Eureka's tenth kill to date! It's a new record.”

In the background Gino was running a hand through his blond hair, looking like he either wanted to restrain his Drift partner or move to support Kallen's caustic words. However the decision was taken out of his hands as Kallen moved to join him.

“Wait, you're still going to Hong Kong, even after all of this?” the on-site reporter looked fearful.

Kallen shrugged, turning back. Her voice was clipped and short. “Well, orders are orders, what else am I supposed to do?” The camera cut back to the main talent desk and Suzaku tuned it out.

He turned to see that Cornelia had her back turned to him, her PDA pressed quite firmly to her ear. “What?!” she hissed. “The fuck didn't you tell me this?! I'm on a fucking tour and this shit happens?!” She turned her head slightly and Suzaku could see the fury in her purple eyes. For an eerie moment, the family resemblance between Cornelia and Lelouch was evident, a pang of nostalgia chased quickly by the flash of loss ran through him.

“Listen, you idiot, I want _everything,_ do you hear, me everything sent to me on Mutavore now. I want a debrief from Striker Eureka's pilots and from the wall manager. I want to know _how_ the damn Cat 4 breached the fucking walls when we had fucking cannons there!” She listened intently for a second before a vicious smile appeared on her lips. “Damn straight-”

A high-pitched scream rendering the air deflated any and all victory in whatever Cornelia was about to say to the person she just berated on the other line. They both froze, turning towards the sound. Suzaku recognized the voice.

“Euphie...” he whispered, dread forming in him.

Without a second thought, he dropped the nylon webbing he had been working on and bolted towards the source, Cornelia hot on his heels.


	4. Chapter 4

Suzaku skidded to a stop at edge of the large crowd that was slowly advancing towards what looked like the rest of the Britannian delegation. They were backing towards the helipad, some with hands raised defensively, others with small firearms. No one seemed to be shooting, yet. Out of the sea of grey uniforms and red uniforms, he saw a flash of pink hair, Euphie was near the middle of the Britannian delegation, but he did not know if she had only gotten there or had been caught up in the advancing crowd.

“Euphie!” he shouted as he pushed his way through the throng of wall workers.

“Suzaku! Cornelia!”

He indiscriminately shoved workers left and right until he reached the edge of the delegation. He stopped, at the threatening stance the guards around Euphie showed towards him. Beyond them, Guilford was looking around warily, one hand held back towards Euphie as if to ward her away or to protect her if anyone made a move.

“What the hell is going on here?!” Cornelia's voice rang out behind Suzaku.

All of the workers turned and Suzaku could almost see it playing out in slow motion. His warrior and fighting senses, honed by years of piloting a Jaeger, years of melding his mind with another person, but also because he could  _ feel _ the mood of the workers, reacted. He lunged back towards the closest worker to Cornelia, trapping the man's arm, twisting it just so-

“Ranger Kururugi, stop!” Cornelia's voice boomed with authority behind him and Suzaku froze, his mind automatically reverting to the years of military discipline that had been drilled into him.

Incidentally, her command had also stopped all movement as everyone alternated between staring at her and at him. Suzaku released the worker he had locked into a defensive grip and shoved him away, making him stumble back into the arms of his comrades. He could hear the whispers around him, that he was a Ranger, that he was  _ the  _ Ranger Kururugi. The wall builders were mostly local and Anchorage had been Gipsy Danger's staging ground for the last few months before it had been decommissioned. Her pilots, J-Tech crew and Support personnel were all known through the city of two million.

“Now then,” Cornelia deftly took up the situation, bringing most of the eyes on her. “What seems to be the problem.”

“The fucking wall!” More than one voice shouted.

“Yes and I've just received a report. The wall is foolproof-”

“It ain't shit!”

“Yeah! They said it broke through under a fucking hour!”

“What the fuck are we building this thing for?!”

“My fucking sister died building Pendragon Wall! Are you saying it's for nothing?!”

“Quiet!” Cornelia shouted again. She lowered her hands. “I swear to you as Field Marshal, I am personally overseeing the issue. The PPDC gave me command of this wall project and I will get to the bottom of this. Did those cannons fire? Were they improperly installed and thus the kaiju able to break through. All of these we don't know. We need to find out-”

“Fuck, we're doomed-”

“The world's coming to an end!”

“Yeah!”

“-And I intend to find out! I will  _ not _ abandon you, my friends, my hard workers. You know me. You know me, Anchorage,” she stared at them with her flinty purple eyes. They stared back, but most of them started to quiet.

“What about the Jaeger Program?” Someone shouted in the back.

“The Jaeger Program has been decommissioned. The wall is our hope-”

A wave of frustrated noise swelled before many workers waved a dismissive hand at Cornelia's attempt to calm and rally them before they started to leave in droves. The rest of the delegation advanced towards Cornelia, seeing the threat dispersed. Suzaku blinked, feeling torn at Cornelia's words and at the same time, knowing that through all of their hard work, the kaiju wall may have been for nothing. What she said was the truth – they did not know the circumstances before the kaiju breached the wall. Sydney was very lucky Striker Eureka had not left for Hong Kong in that moment.

He took one long look at Cornelia, shaking his head slightly before leaving with the rest of the workers. As he passed by Euphie, he saw her trying to reach out to him and deftly stepped out of the way and head back into the building. He would not be a part of that life anymore-

“Hey.” A hand suddenly reached out and Suzaku neatly side stepped it, his senses still turned up from the near-fight he had in defending Cornelia from the workers.

“Oh...Mackie,” He turned and stopped, recognizing the man.

“Hey...” Mackie held up his hand. “Don't mean no harm, Suzaku. Just...”

Suzaku's lips twitched before he stared at the other man. “Yeah...ex-Ranger,” he confirmed even before the question was voiced.

“So...you're the Ranger Kururugi of Gipsy Danger?” Mackie's expression was oddly neutral and Suzaku realized he could not get a good read on the man's mannerisms.

“...Yeah...” he settled for slightly defensive, but his eyes darted to the side as he saw a few others stopping too, coming closer to overhear their conversation. He could hear their whispers and murmurs, some pointing fingers at him while others were openly just staring. Suzaku cursed silently, this was not want he wanted. He was not bothered with the celebrity during the time he was a Ranger, but in the aftermath...that was something he did not deal with.

Mackie licked his lips for a second, seemingly coming to a decision before holding out his large hand. Suzaku stared at it for a long second before looking up at the other man.

“Thank you...Ranger, thank you for saving me all those years ago,” Mackie kept his hand out, but his voice was solemn. “I...never got a chance to thank you properly after...well...after everything. I thought I would probably never get the chance after, uh, your resignation from the PPDC, but...”

Suzaku blinked, slowly, still staring, but Mackie did not retract his hand nor did he look sheepish. He held it out, firm, steady, inviting.

“I, uh, was the first mate on the  _ Saltchuck _ ,” Mackie let out a noisy breath and Suzaku's eyes widened, moving from the man's hand to his face. This time, the larger man did look sheepish and rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. “Found myself here after the waters where we normally fished were too contaminated with Kaiju Blue...plus...we got our deep sea fishing licenses revoked by the Alaskan government. They said it was for improper heeding of kaiju alert warnings made in advance and unofficially blamed us partially on, uh...Gipsy Danger's, uh....and uh...well...” He grimaced, unable to finish the rest of his words.

Mackie finally lowered his hand a little. “I...don't blame you if you don't want my thanks,” the man's voice seemed small. “Ranger Lamperouge was your Drift partner after all...and...circumstances...”

Suzaku did not know what had come over him, but he suddenly reached out and gripped the man's hand, startling him as he reflexively squeezed. He met the former fisherman's gaze and nodded solemnly. Something in Suzaku trembled, a yearning that he still dared not give name to, but he  _ wanted _ it.  _ This was the first step _ , it whispered to him, perhaps with Lelouch's voice, he suppose. “It's fine...” he murmured.

Mackie's smile was bracing as he released Suzaku's hand. “Thank you. For what you've sacrificed for me, my family, the crew of the  _ Saltchuck _ . We owe you our lives and I'm just glad that I'm able to thank you on their behalf before we all die.”

Suzaku stared at him. “You knew who I was before this...”

“I did...but...I also know the value of a man's privacy,” Mackie replied. “And...it didn't look like you were ready.”

“Ready?”

“To accept my apology. To accept the thanks of the others here,” Mackie gestured towards the small crowd that had gathered. Suzaku took a step back as he looked around. The faces of all the workers that he had not paid much attention to were all staring at him now, some smiling, others with neutral expressions. He suddenly felt ashamed and looked down at the ground. He did not deserve this...this adulation, this attention that they were suddenly showing.

“Some of us, well, we've been following the Jaeger Program and its pilots, made some pilgrimages to the places were Jaegers fell, like Seattle for Romeo Blue and the Gage twins,” Mackie continued. He took a step forward. “You're one of the few Rangers alive that aren't active duty and we wanted to thank you for your service.”

Suzaku could not take it anymore. Feeling like his emotions had been stretched so thin in the last few days he laughed, a bitter sound in the near echoing silence of the area. He looked up, tears falling from his eyes as he stared at Mackie. “Don't you get it? We're all going to die. The world's coming to an end. The wall failed-”

Mackie's eyes suddenly flashed and he seemed the bristle. He shook his head vehemently and clenched a fist, taking a step forward. “If it is ending, then I would rather have the power to do something about. I'd  _ choose _ my mode of death.”

Suzaku stumbled back as he had an epiphany. Somehow, perhaps recognizing Euphie, Mackie might have inferred or known about why she was here. It wasn't a stretch to think that the two talked. But for his words... Mackie was right. Many of them didn't have a choice. But Suzaku did.

_ That _ was it. That was... _ it _ .

He spun, staring around at the gathered crowd before he spotted the familiar face of Alfred. “Alfred!” he called out and hurried towards the man. The small crowd parted easily.

“Uh-S-Suzaku...” Alfred stuttered. His eyes were comically wide, but Suzaku ignored it as he pulled out a key from his pocket and shoved it towards the man. “Uh...what?”

“You've just got yourself a new bolting gun. Tell the foreman, I quit,” Suzaku said before he pushed past Alfred and headed back out towards the helipad. He hurried his footsteps, ignoring cries of his name by the others and made it outside just as the familiar form of two V-50 Jumphawks touched down. It looked like he got to the pad on time.

“Marshal!” he shouted, and saw Cornelia's magenta-colored hair whip around as she held a hand to shield her eyes from the wind of the rotors.

“She's in that one.” A toothy smile was on Cornelia's face as she pointed to the other Jumphawk and Suzaku tossed her a casual salute. “Good to have you back, Ranger!”

“We'll see!” He shouted back to her as he made a beeline towards the other Jumphawk and was waved in by a crew member who must have gotten approval to let him on. He climbed on, a tight smile on his face as he saw Euphie's eyes widen in surprise. Two seats away was Dr. Croomy and she had a proud expression, before turning away to give them a semblance of privacy. He sat across from Euphie, belting himself into the webbing, his hands fumbling only a little at the rustiness of not using such straps in the last five years.

“Sir!” Another crew member shouted and gave him a headset to which he slipped it on. The noise level of the rotors whining up as the aircraft prepared to leave was mostly muffled and drowned out, leaving a tinned noise behind. The door to the Jumphawk slammed shut, further blocking the noise.

“Suzaku?” Euphie's looked surprised.

“If the world's going to end, I'd rather die in a Jaeger than here,” he replied.

Tears started to flow from her eyes, but he was unsure whether they were because of his fatalistic words, or the fact that he had agreed to go with whatever plan Marshal Tohdoh was cooking up. But she wiped at them with the back of her hand, marring her sleeve with dark wet spots. A swooping feeling flipped flopped Suzaku's stomach as he realized they were lifting off.

“Chief, Marshal li Britannia requests that we make all haste back to Hong Kong to prepare for Marshal Tohdoh's plan. We'll stop by Hawai'i for refueling and then towards Hong Kong.”

“Please tell my sister that I wish her well and to be careful when she's at Sydney. The world is watching us.”

“Ma'am,” the pilot replied before falling silent.

Euphie lifted a hand as they flew and turned a knob on her headset. She held up two fingers and gestured towards her back. Suzaku reached up to his own headset and turned a small knob that was located towards the bottom two clicks towards the back of his own head.

“Can you hear me?” Euphie's voice rang clear across the private line.

“Yes,” he replied.

“I...didn't expect you to come, after...well...”

“I didn't either,” Suzaku admitted. “But...whatever plan Marshal Tohdoh's got cooking up, it's going to be all or nothing, right? You said it was for the last six months?”

Euphie nodded. Her cornflower-blue eyes bore into his own. “We took heavy losses in the last five years, Suzaku. Six months ago, Marshal Tohdoh conceived of a plan to take the remaining Jaegers to the Breach.”

“We tried nuking it early on. It didn't work,” Suzaku pointed out, “what changed?”

“I don't know,” Euphie shook her head, “Dr. Asplund and Dr. Chawla of K-Science are pretty tight lipped about that. I got pulled to helm some of the restorations. We were going to wait until all of the walls were completed, but now...”

“Sydney...”

“Yeah,” she looked at nothing in particular. She was silent for a few minutes before speaking again. “Romeo Blue was supposed to run point. Bruce and Trevin were the most veteran and best pilots we had. Then...Harbinger, Cat 4. Seattle.”

Suzaku pressed his lips thinly together. Romeo Blue was one of the first well-known and well-liked Jaegers. It was the pride and joy of the Britannian Empire. The Gage twins were well respected and given the titles of Knights of Two in an unusual gestured by the Emperor when there was usually one knight numbered per the Knights of the Round.

Every Jaeger pilot that graduated after the Gage twins found them to be mentors, older brothers and a big part of the Ranger family. They were humble and willing to share knowledge with anyone – holding no prejudices towards any of the non-Britannian pilots. In short, they almost had no vice – except for a long, long history of mild insubordination, in and out of the Jaegers. They were the first ones to make their Jaeger dance – starting a tradition with all Jaeger christenings – much to the consternation of the Field Marshals of the Shatterdomes and the Board of Governors. Still, there wasn't exactly much anyone could do save a reprimand towards the Knights of Two.

“It must have been rough...” he said.

“They targeted the conn-pod,” Euphie said solemnly, “Bruce died instantly. Trevin...followed shortly.” She couldn't quite meet his eyes.

Suzaku realized that the Gages had ended up in a situation like he had with Knifehead. He supposed it was poor consolation that at least neither of them suffered in the end. Disquieted by the knowledge, he added, “Maybe I'm five years late to that party then.” He marveled at how dark his own humor was.

To his surprise, Euphie choked out a single laugh, but her eyes told another story. They were filled with tears. The long years of war, nine years for her, of watching friends die and their struggle against the kaiju almost insurmountable. It was a miracle that her psyche had lasted this long. But perhaps they were both broken in ways that neither of them could really say.

“Officially, there's only three, four if you count the rebuilt Gipsy Danger, left in official service.”

“Officially?”

Euphie smiled wanly. “Britannia has several, but even I don't know the official numbers. Schneizel won't let myself or Cornelia know. The two I am sure of is the Vincent Gloucester, Cornelia and Guilford's machine. And the other is the Siegfried Kai.”

“Still Jeremiah and Villetta?”

“Villetta yes, Jeremiah suffered a nervous break down two years ago. We're not sure where he went, but no one, not even Cornelia would tell me what happened to him. I think she suspects something. It's like he disappeared off the face of the earth. I tried to ask the Knight of Six, Anya Alstreim since she's is Siegfried Kai's J-Tech Chief, but even she won't answer.” 

“Why won't Britannia commit their remaining Jaegers to the defense of the rim?” Suzaku was curious.

Euphie shrugged, shaking her head. “I don't know. I've been lobbying the Emperor, Schneizel, anyone and everyone that's involved on a higher level to get them involved, trying to change the system from within, but no one's listening or ignoring me. It's like my status as a royal princess means nothing. The best I get is some platitudes and then a verbal pat on the head.”

Suzaku felt for her and reached out with a hand. She met his in the middle of the small aisle that separated them. He squeezed her small fingers gently. “It's hard. Trust me, I know, it's hard to change an institution's mind, but that doesn't mean we should give up.”

“I know,” she smiled sadly at him. “You're a good friend, Suzaku. I am well aware of how hard you worked all those years ago to change people's perspectives on non-Britannian pilots.” She released his fingers and he sat back, mirroring her sad smile.

He silently agreed with her. Those were the days – him, Lelouch and Euphie against the world. He was one of the first, if not  _ the _ first technical civilian and non-Britannian military Jaeger pilot. Lelouch, though disinherited, was not counted among the media and Jaeger pilot hopefuls as such as many recognized him to be ex-royalty even though he held no title nor status. Suzaku counted him, though, considering he was just a mere civilian too. Suzaku remembered the incredible pressure and the drive to be the best, both in and out of the cockpit fueled them. Suzaku strove for the goal of changing Britannian minds while Lelouch, though a little baser in his instincts, strove to 'stick it to Britannians and the Emperor' – his hilarious words in the Drift – while cutting down kaiju after kaiju.

In hindsight, it made them both arrogant, feared and admired, among the Britannian Empire, countries outside of the Empire's sphere and possibly among kaiju if Knifehead's attack was any indicator. And it was their downfall – the end of the so-called Golden Age of Jaegers – on that cold Alaskan morning.

“Do you know what Tohdoh is planning with the Breach?”

“No. Only that I was assigned to repair Gipsy Danger before I was sent to find you. You're one of the few Mark III pilots left. There was originally talk of asking Britannia to send some of theirs, but Tohdoh vetoed that. He specifically asked Schneizel and the Board of Governors for you.”

Suzaku was unsure of how he felt about that piece of news. His former mentor was a proud man, stern to the point of unyielding, but also tactically sound. He would never call Tohdoh brilliant after what he had seen, felt and experience while Drifting with Lelouch, but perhaps before the Academy, Tohdoh was the most formidable tactician he knew. When the Kaiju War started, he knew his mentor was placed as the second-in-command of the Nagasaki Shatterdome, led by General Katase. They supported the Tokyo Shatterdome which was helmed by Suzaku's father, Genbu.

Gipsy Danger was never posted to the two Japanese Shatterdomes, ostensibly to avoid any parental favoritism, but Suzaku remembered the conference calls between the Rangers and Field Marshals in the early years of the war as they played musical Shatterdomes.

“So...who do we have left?”

“Strike Eureka, from what you saw on the news,” Euphie said, “Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon.”

“Cherno still around?” Suzaku was surprised. The Mark I Jaeger was one of the oldest ones. “With-”

“Leila and Akito, yes,” Euphie smiled slightly.

“Good for them,” Suzaku felt cheered by the news.

Operational in 2015, Cherno Alpha was also the first one completed by the European United democratic government under much controversy and it was because of its pilot roster. Suzaku knew the prejudices he encountered because of his own nationality and race were mostly under Britannian scrutiny since Gipsy Danger  _ was _ built by Britannia. But Cherno Alpha had its own problems under its own countrymen that piloted it. Colonel Leila Breisgau was a beloved figure among the European United dynastic families. The Breisgaus weren't nobility considering all noble titles were banned in the democratic country, but they were probably close to it with generations spanning back even before Napoleon. She had the credentials to back up her place among the European United Rangers.

Her Drift partner and husband? Less so.

Corporal Akito Hyuga was a Japanese refugee according to most European United media and press, just based on both his skin color and his name. Never mind the fact that Akito was born  _ in _ the European United borders and did not even speak Japanese nor did he even identify as Japanese. He self-identified as European, plain and simple. Even his Ranger ID listed him as European United, but the democratic country also made a distinction on his ID with the label of Ethnicity and the word  _ Japanese _ listed under it as if it could attempt to pigeon hole and force him into accepting that he would always been a second-class citizen.

Suzaku had only met the pair once in person in the four years he was a pilot. His first impressions of the two was that both were very quiet, but also serious. Leila was the more talkative of the two, a soothing personality that belied the apparent grim to-the-death determination Cherno Alpha showed in combat. Akito ignored almost everyone, barely replying to any direct inquiries and even then, ignoring most until he was forced to give an answer.

“Crimson Typhoon is still piloted by Li Xingke and Zhou Xianglin. The High Eunuchs finally got their way and the two got married last year,” Euphie shook her head. “It was a really pretty wedding, definitely good morale booster, but Xingke told me that if the Eunuchs expected any children from the union, they could, quote 'fuck them selves, oh wait, they can't'.” Euphie giggled at the last part and Suzaku's mouth hung open a little at the vulgar word that she had used.

“...Euphie?” He had never heard her swear like that before.

“I was only quoting,” she laughed again at his expression and he rolled his eyes.

“I know, but I'm glad and sad that the two of them were forced into that,” Suzaku shifted in his jumpseat, adjusting the belt of one of the shoulder straps. The two Chinese pilots were adopted brother and sister and loved each other like so. When they had been chosen as Crimson Typhoon's pilot pair, Chinese media was rife with speculation the two being a couple. The pundits debated incest, step-siblings, adopted siblings and the old taboo about talking about such things reaching a fever pitch. The High Eunuchs who pretty much ran the Chinese government in the background, stepped in to say that everything was considered and left it at that.

“How's Empress Tianzi holding up?”

“Surprisingly well. She said she's treating it like concubinage,” Euphie nodded. It was no secret among the PPDC that Xingke had pledged himself to the Empress, even though the High Eunuchs took a dim view and defended the 'purity' of their virginal Empress.

“That's impressive and magnanimous of her.”

Euphie tapped a finger on her chin. “I think though, she might have negotiated a deal of sorts with the High Eunuchs in order to stay on as Crimson Typhoon's J-Tech Chief, so this might be why things happened the way they happened.”

“The High Eunuchs are obsessed with the creation of the perfect soldier, never mind the most pureblood one they could have,” Suzaku rolled his eyes in return. He would never understand such politicking. The Kaiju War brought out personality traits from people he would have never expected, but at the same time, it gave him so much knowledge about being human.

“That's true,” Euphie smiled, “well, we don't have to worry about being a part of their puppet strings.”

“True,” Suzaku replied. He stretched, starting to feel a little restless in the jumpseat. He was not used to sitting for so long. “So, how have you been?” Euphie laughed again and his brow crinkled in puzzlement. “What, did I say something wrong?”

“No...well, yes,” the pink-haired princess covered her laugh with a hand. “I missed this, Suzaku...I missed talking with you. I'm just so happy...”

“Euphie,” Suzaku realized he might have given her the wrong impression. “I'm still not ready to pilot. I don't know if I ever will be. If there is that chance, if there is that hope that I can still do something, if dying in a Jaeger will make this war come to an end, then I want it to be on my own terms.”

She sobered quickly, her laughter fading quickly as she nodded solemnly. “I know...but it is still good to talk with you. I don't know what Tohdoh wants from you, but I was specifically sent to find you and let you know about Gipsy Danger. That's it...”

“Okay,” he conceded. He smiled softly at her. “So...how are you?” He started again.

“Doing...okay, all things considered,” she admitted. “Not well, but not bad either. It was hard for me to oversee the repairs on Gipsy Danger. To be reminded of what happened time and time again. Then, someone, I forgot her name, told me I should frame it as rebuilding a legacy, a monument that is worthy of the name. That it encompasses what it previous stood for and what will it stand for in the future. It got easier after that, to finish the build.”

“Did you ever ask Nina out?”

She blushed, a pretty shade of rose that matched her hair. “I...did,” she looked down at her hands, folding them together. “Once. It...was nice, but Nina...was looking for something I couldn't give...”

Nina Einstein has been part of their graduating Academy class, scouted by Schneizel and K-Science personnel to immediately start her masters and doctorates. She deferred, much to the surprise of their graduating class before publicly declaring her love for Euphie and desire to stay with her. At that time, Suzaku knew their class and others outside of it thought he and Euphie were an item – in which their assumptions weren't too off base. But after his success in Drifting with Lelouch had been established, he and Euphie had talked privately and she was speculating on a relationship with Nina. It never went anywhere in the four years since their graduation, but Suzaku always wondered. He wanted Euphie to be happy.

“She finally accepted a position with Schneizel working in K-Science's Research division. I rarely talk and see her, but she seems quite happy.”

Suzaku nodded. “Good to hear. I saw-” He gestured towards the Greek alphabet pins she had on her uniform.

“After...Knifehead, most of us joined Striker Eureka's Black Knights or in Milly, Shirley and Rivalz case, served in Nagasaki's Shatterdome as support crew until it was destroyed. I joined the Black Knights as part of the J-Tech crew, subbing for Ohgi as Chief for a bit after a certain incident with him and Villetta was made known to the public.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Related to the Jeremiah thing?”

“Possibly. No one's talking about it. And I mean  _ no _ one. Not even Ohgi.” She slowly shook her head. “It may explain why they haven't tested Villetta with another for compatibility for Siegfried Kai. Anyways, after Nagasaki, Milly's been covering the PPDC news front as a freelance reporter with Rivalz as her photog. As for Shirley, I'm not sure what happened to her. I don't think she perished, but she's definitely off the grid. Her phone and messages still work and I heard from one of Tohdoh's advisors that he's been in contact with her. I think she probably just wants to be left alone...”

“I would do the same. I did do the same,” Suzaku murmured.

Shirley Fenette lost her mother during Trespasser's attack, but not from the kaiju. Instead, it was from the nuclear payload that had been unleashed to stop the kaiju. She then lost her father in a scant few years after to Kaiju Blue contracted by Hundun when father and daughter had moved there to escape the grief of losing their home and family member. She had garnered the most sympathy from everyone at the Academy and no one blamed her for her anger and rage at every attempt to destroy the kaiju. It seemed perhaps all that happened with Gipsy Danger, it was the last straw for Shirley.

“It was...hard, to be a part of another crew after Gipsy Danger,” Euphie started up, “but-”

“I'm glad you moved on,” Suzaku cut her off gently. “Really...”

“If I knew-”

“Euphie, I left. Plain and simple. I didn't want to be found, well, Dr. Croomy there the apparent exception.” He was still ambivalent about the doctor's role in keeping an eye on him for the PPDC higher ups. On one hand, he knew what he had signed up for once he was chosen as a Ranger. His life would be scrutinized, no matter what happened. Even his death would probably be scrutinized. Everything for the war effort. Rangers were pilots of massive mechanical machines on technology that they could barely begin to comprehend. They were guinea pigs.

She nodded. “I know...” she echoed. She fell silent for a few minutes before tugging at her sleeve and the watch that Suzaku had given to her one Christmas glistened in the dim light of the cabin. “You should sleep,” she hid the watch again, “we've got a few hours before we arrive at K-Watch substation in Oahu.”

“I'll admit,” Suzaku shifted again in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position, “I'm not used to sitting in jump seats after all these years.”

“Too hard?” Euphie's lips quirked up in a crooked smile. “I could be your pillow.”

“Tempting.” It was easy to fall back into the banter he had with the Britannian princess and he found that the heaviness he carried in him for so many years lightening just a little bit. “But if your sister ever found out, she'd have my head for misconduct unbecoming of a Ranger. I don't plan on getting a demerit this fast when I just signed back on.”

“That is true, though you'd probably break your own record,” Euphie pointed out and Suzaku laughed.

He shifted again in his seat before finally stretching his legs out, allowing them to rest at an angle on the jumpseat next to Euphie's right. It was as close as he was going to place them without having them on her lap. Crossing his arms across his chest, he nodded towards her. “Sleep well, Princess.”

“And you as well, Ranger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially the kaiju that rampaged across Seattle and destroyed Romeo Blue is not named. I borrowed the name from Jocelyn's Generation K series (Aurora Australis).


	5. Chapter 5

It was more of a nap for Suzaku than actual sleep, haunting images and screams of Euphie's voice cutting in and out of the pitched battle with Knifehead mingled with Lelouch and his thoughts in the Drift. The frenetic memories and the feeling of Lelouch's fear – no, their mutual fear - made him toss restlessly. He wakened with another start when he felt a hand on his ankle and saw Euphie's worried face. She tried to smile reassuringly at him, but it failed to reach her eyes. He returned the look with a wan smile of his own before tucking his legs back underneath him.

“You were...dreaming...” she stated.

Suzaku realized he forgot to mute his headset before he slept. His voice did not feel hoarse, but he did notice his pulse was a little faster than normal. “Knifehead,” he admitted as he shifted his seat again. His tailbone and half of his butt felt numb from the jumpseat as well as being in a confined position for so long. He really hated long plane rides and was looking forward to stretch his legs while the helo was being refueled.

Instead of apologizing or saying any other words of platitude, Euphie merely nodded and left it at that. He suspected she probably had her own nightmares, especially since it was her half-brother who died. She reached up to her headset and moved the dial and he did the same. The static sound of a general line washed over him.

“Ma'am, we're about ten minutes out on final approach,” the pilot said.

“Very good. How long until refuel procedures are finished?” Euphie asked.

“About two and half hours.”

“Please make sure you take a break while you're at it. Has the transportation I requested arrived?”

“Waiting near the platform.”

“Thank you. We won't be long and should return within the allotted time.”

Suzaku felt the Jumphawk dip and sink before it touched down with a definitive thumping noise and feel. Undoing the webbing that held him and taking off the headset, he saw one of the crew members reach over to open the door and bright sunlight along with a wash of humid air pummeled Suzaku.

He could not help the gasp that emerged from his mouth, finding for a second very hard to breathe before he forced himself to take a deep breath. The air smelled moist, with hints of sour fuel and and almost sweetness that could have either been coffee beans or local bananas being grown.

He stepped out, his jumpsuit and clothes clinging onto him in the muggy air. Following Euphie, he saw a flash of blue hair that was Dr. Croomy go off in another direction while Euphie gestured for him to come with her. He was already starting to sweat after taking a few steps from the helicopter. Shedding his outer jacket and the scarf he wore to keep dirt and debris out from the cold biting Alaskan wind, he carried them in a hand as he followed Euphie off of the helipad and saw an open-aired jeep with a soldier standing next to it.

Euphie took the keys from the soldier, returning the salute with a crisp one of her own. He saw her glance back at him and was somewhat relieved to find that her face and small strands of her pink hair were plastered on her face. It was nice to know that she looked as uncomfortable in what was probably a sweltering dress uniform as he was in his own clothes.

“Come on!” she called out and he hurried his pace.

He climbed aboard, dumping his jacket and scarf into the back seat as she started the engine and shifted the jeep into gear. He saw that two water bottles were in cup holders and tore one open, drinking half of it.

“We'll be able to stop for food and facilities once we get to our destination,” Euphie said as she accelerated. The humid air was dimmed with the sudden burst of wind as they drove off from the helipad.

“Where are we going?”

She only smiled before one of her hands made a motion to grab the other water bottle. He dutifully reached down and uncapped it, handing it to her as she drank deeply. She placed it back and continued to drive, moving from the main roads to a small dirt path after a few minutes. Seeing that she was more than likely not going to answer anymore, he sat back, letting himself enjoy both the tropical view of palm trees, giant ferns, blackened mounds of old volcanic flows, but also of bright and colorful fauna and flora that was a stark contrast to the grey, silver and white of Anchorage and the wall that had been his home for the last few years.

Oahu and a majority of the Hawai'i chain of islands had been mostly untouched by kaiju during the war. The runoff and weather patterns made it rare for the monsters to swim by, preferring the more populated areas of the world. But some times, K-Watch would report one of the kaiju coming close before something seemed to attract it away. It was why a secondary operations base for K-Watch was located here along with a small division of K-Science.

The Mariana Islands were home to the main K-Watch station. They monitored the Marianas Trench from which the monsters emerged from; keeping diligent calculations and forecasts. A J-Tech station was set up there to help facilitate faster reception of observations and plan defensive measures.

They drove along the dirt path for the next fifteen minutes before emerging to a small gated compound with white alabaster walls built with a Spanish-missionary style in mind. A wooden gate indicated the entry and Euphie stopped near it. But Suzaku realized the wood was rather deceptive – it was painted to look like wood, but more than likely metal with sophisticated technology built into it as he found himself and Euphie along with the whole car being scanned by a blue laser field.

“Entry accepted,” a mechanical voice intoned before the gate opened with a large creak.

Euphie accelerated and the drove further in, a canopy of native trees bending over them like nature's tunnel before it opened up to reveal a one-story home, seemingly built into the small green hill it was on. The hill itself was covered with various fauna and flora, birds, local animals grazing on top of it as if it was nothing. Euphie stopped, parking the car and shutting it off.

“Euphie?”

“I figured she would want to see you before everything,” Euphie replied with a mysterious smile and Suzaku frowned. He got out along with her.

Apparently he was supposed to know the person that lived in this compound. Rounding the jeep he saw what looked like the door to the house open – it was a circular door, but had no handles. Instead, he saw two figures emerge, one of whom was sitting in a wheelchair.

His breath hitched and a lump immediately formed in his throat.

 _Nunnally_...

He officially met her once, during the week of leave all Academy cadets got before going into the third and final phase of the six months of intensive training. By then, he and Lelouch had become partners and the trust between them had formed so tightly that Lelouch had easily accepted his request to meet Nunnally. However, in the years of Drifting with his partner, he felt like he had known her for a lifetime. Affection, love, the sense of brotherly protectiveness, all of it came rushing back to Suzaku. He felt the _need_ to protect her, the need and drive to make sure she was safe and that no one, not even a single person outside of himself, Lelouch and Euphie _knew_ she was alive. Because he could not bear to lose her, lose the only thing left in life he loved besides Euphie.

Suzaku took a stumbling step forward, his hand outstretched. “N-Nunnally...” his voice cracked on her name.

Her face lit up in the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Twenty-one now, she had grown into a beautiful woman with long legs and equally long sandy brown hair. She probably would have been his height, he estimated, if she could stand, a towering and commanding presence. That of a royal princess. She was wearing a bright yellow sundress with white trim along with elegant white sandals. “Welcome home, Suzaku...” she said softly and he fought back the tears threatening to spill down his face.

“...Nunnally,” he breathed her name as he made it to her side and knelt down next to her. Lacing his fingers through hers, he let the tears fall from his face as she squeezed gently on his calloused fingers while her other hand reached out towards his face. He dipped his head slightly, letting her fingers trace the familiar contours and lines. She was blind, her eyes were closed, by her own volition so that no one could see the milky damage done by Kaiju Blue. Her legs were forever crippled by a broken spine from falling debris. All from Trespasser's attack.

He was silent, steadying his breaths as he let her finish her trace. She stopped by his eyes, her fingers gently wiping the tears that had poured down before she sat back. He released her fingers from his other hand. “You still carry his memories, don't you?” She asked quietly and he nodded.

“I do,” he rumbled. “And...his affection for you too.” Even now, after all these years, he could not tamp down the surge of brotherly affection, of a fierce need to protect her from anyone who would harm her. But also to dote on her and ensure that she was always safe. Melding his mind with Lelouch for the first time and discovering this preciously guarded secret of his had been an intense and enlightening experiment.

_He watched as the butterflies, Kamehameha species he had learned from his dear sister this morning when he woke up, fluttered around Nunnally. They were of a brilliant orange-black-red pattern, similar to mainland Monarchs, but with a far more distinctive pattern. One gently, almost daintily, landed on her outstretched finger. Even though she couldn't see, she gasped at the light contact. He was so proud of her growing abilities since that fateful day three years ago. Overcoming her blindness by extending the rest of the senses she had, she had surprised the doctors too._

“ _Nii-san,” she gingerly turned towards him and he smiled, even though he knew she could not see it. The butterfly slowly flapped its wings as it tried to keep steady on its perch._

“ _I see,” he said quietly, “it's beautiful, Nunnally.”_

_She laughed, a clear crystal sound that simultaneously tore and warmed him. It was good to hear her laugh again, even among the occasional frustrating days she had. The butterfly flapped its wings a couple of times before lifting into the air to join its comrades. A cascade of orange-black-red wings looked like perpetually falling flower petals, buffeted and swirling in the air with some unseen wind._

“ _Nunnally-san, I have a Koa here if you wish to hold it,” Sayoko slowly stepped forward, her hands cupped together to hold a rare iridescent blue-purple and fuzzy butterfly in her hand. The two native species of butterflies among the Hawai'ian Islands._

“ _Thank you Sayoko-san, but it's fine,” Nunnally lowered her hand. “Does it want to be released?”_

“ _I don't think so, but its still contemplating flying,” Sayoko Shinozaki was Nunnally's full-time caretaker and protector. She had been assigned to them shortly after he secretly moved her to Oahu via the generosity of the Ashford family. In addition to watching over himself and Nunnally before he enrolled in the Academy, Sayoko was also Nunnally's physical therapist, psychologist and tutor and had been teaching her Japanese in addition to her usual studies. Nunnally had started to affectionately call him Nii-san, the Japanese honorific of older brother._

“ _Oh,” Sayoko suddenly made a small sound and he turned in time to see a mote of blue join in with the wave of orange flying about._

_Nunnally laughed again. “I can tell it's beautiful today. Will they all be gone tomorrow?”_

“ _For now, migration patterns, Nunnally-san,” Sayoko explained patiently._

“ _I remember,” she replied. She turned and toggled the wheelchair to come closer to the table before stopping just before she knocked into it._

“ _Your sphere of awareness is a lot better since I left,” he commented._

_She blushed under the curtain of sandy brown hair as she reached to pick up the teacup and sip it. Sayoko dutifully stepped away from them, letting them have their own private conversation, but he knew she was always nearby and probably would hear everything. However, she was extremely loyal to them, which had surprised him, and he knew everything said would be held in confidence._

“ _If my brother is willing to sacrifice his own personal freedom for mine and to save humanity while he's at it, I must also strive to get better,” she said with a firmness that surprised him. She softened it with another rising blush. “That's what I told myself... I have to get better for you. So you don't have to worry...so you can concentrate on becoming a Jaeger pilot.”_

_He made a small noise of approval. “I...appreciate the thoughtfulness, Nunnally, but I won't ever stop worrying about you. I'm your brother, it's my nature to worry.”_

“ _I know...” she smiled slightly, her blush receding as she took another sip of her tea. “So, how was the first phase?”_

_Jaeger Academy was a just-over six-month intensive training period divided up into three 8-week terms. The first trimester, or phase, was focused on boot camp and officer-training, the second was Drift compatibility and testing, and the third on Jaeger pilot team training. Those who didn't make the cut the first trimester were always invited to try again. The second trimester weeded out those who weren't able to handle Drifting, but also allow them to learn the technology or be given opportunities to either be Jaeger support or part of K-Science as a fellow PPDC officer. The last was for the ones who had proven they could handle the Drift and become fully fledged partners._

“ _Intense,” he replied. He lifted his hand and flexed his fingers. “I'm still feeling the effects. Physically, I barely made the cut. I think my scores in the tactical side made up for that deficit.”_

“ _You'll get physically stronger,” Nunnally reassured him._

“ _I hope,” he shrugged. “The trainers did say I need to really keep up with my exercises and build more muscle and stamina if I'm ever going to pilot a Jaeger.”_

“ _Anyone interesting in your class?”_

“ _Euphie's there,” he replied. “Though I'm sure you heard it on the news.”_

“ _I did. There was a big announcement two days ago when she passed the first phase,” Nunnally smiled, “Cornelia sounded like a proud big sister when she made that announcement. I could almost imagine Euphie blushing in the background of that.”_

“ _She did,” he chuckled. “Cornelia made such a big deal that Euphie practically begged me to step in and stop her.”_

“ _But you didn't...”_

“ _A big brother needs to have some fun,” he shrugged. “But no. Not my place now to interfere in the duties of the royal family.”_

_Nunnally made a small noise before fingering the rim of her teacup. “How...how has that been, nii-san?”_

“ _They don't know about you, Nunnally. Don't worry...” he reassured her._

“ _I...appreciate it,” her smile was small and welcomed. She cleared her throat, “But you didn't answer my question.”_

_He chuckled again. She was definitely a lot more observant than he gave her credit. “That is true.” He acknowledged her deftness with a nod, even though she could not see it. “It's been...interesting. The media definitely made a big deal about it when they found out about Euphie and then subsequently me. But I think everyone's definitely not really got a chance to really think about it until we probably get back in a week to start the second trimester. We'll see...”_

“ _Please stay safe, nii-san.”_

“ _I will.”_

“ _Anyone you think may become Drift compatible in your class? Anyone you're thinking of?”_

“ _Probably Euphie, considering our genetics...”_

“ _Makes sense. The science behind it did say that siblings have a higher probability.”_

“ _Yes, but science isn't perfect...Whoever I pick, it'll have to be carefully vetted. The J-Tech scientists say that the Pons and subsequent Drifting pretty much reveals everything about a person, including memories they would think to keep a secret, but then become open.”_

“ _Wow...I didn't know it was supposed to be that intense?”_

“ _I...did some extra curricular reading and might have bothered Dr. Lightcap a lot about it.”_

“ _That's totally you, nii-san.”_

“ _Plus I think Euphie may want to partner with someone else.”_

“ _Oh really?”_

“ _She and this annoying Japanese boy- I'm sorry Sayoko, but he is rather annoying-”_

“ _No offense taken, Lelouch-sama,” Sayoko spoke up from the shadows. He couldn't even find her with a quick scan of the area. She truly was a highly skilled ninja._

“ _-Have been known to hang out with each other and were rumored study buddies during our first trimester.” He kept the more salacious rumors to himself that had swirled around the two. Even he himself had been curious and confronted them a few times just to make sure Euphie was not being taken advantage of, in every single sense including physical, because of her royal status._

_Nunnally tilted her head, a gesture that he knew from long experience was when she was thinking of something or heard something in his words. He ignored her wordless gesture and waved an absent hand in the air._

“ _He's annoying. He's arrogant and thinks he could save the damn world by changing it from within. Bullshit. I have no idea why someone as weak as him is even doing at the Academy trying to pilot a Jaeger. He's a brat who's gotten here by the grace of his father's status. That's it. Stupidly annoying and always trying to correct the 'facts' as he likes to call them. I have no idea what Euphie sees in him, and she told me that he was a kind person. Uh huh...kindness doesn't get you anywhere in life. I mean, he came in first place in the physical part of the tests, but that only can get you so far in life. It's not all about physicality, it's a mind game with the kaiju and with strategy to take them apart.”_

“ _What's his name?”_

“ _What?” he stared at his sister. “I thought I told you-”_

“ _No you didn't,” she pointed out, tapping her teacup with her fingernails._

“ _Oh, Suzaku Kururugi. The Japanese Prime Minister's son.”_

“ _Ah...”_

_He stared at her. “Ah...?”_

_She shrugged, looking away from him even though her eyes were closed. “...Nothing...”_

_He stared shrewdly at her, his eyes narrowing. “Nunnally...”_

“ _Nothing, nii-san,” she turned back and smiled slightly at him. “Just...” she fell silent, not finishing her thought._

“ _What?” He demanded after a full minute of silence that was only broken by the cawing of tropical birds and rumbling of nearby animals on the secret property deep in the woods of Oahu._

_Nunnally squirmed for another thirty seconds before finally sighing. “You know I love you, my brother, right? And you know I only wish the best for you as you have for me.”_

“ _...Yes?”_

“ _Well, can I give you some advice?”_

“ _Nunnally, what-”_

“ _Can I?”_

“ _Of course...yes. Anything,” he was puzzled._

“ _So...maybe you should consider a Drift test with Kururugi-san?”_

The ghost drift faded with the same sounds of tropical birds and wild animals in the area as did the gentle squeeze of his hand in Nunnally's own grounded him in the here and now.

“I'm glad,” she murmured. “He lives in you and I'm glad I got to see you...”

“I'm glad too,” he replied, releasing her hand again. He glanced back to see Euphie approach, a teary-eyed smile on her face. Standing back up, he took a step back. He took a moment to recompose himself, still trying to shake off the effects of the powerful ghost drift that had gripped him. It hadn't happened...well, for a very long time.

“Euphie?” Nunnally turned her head slightly, her sightless eyes finding her older sister.

“Hello Nunnally. I'm sorry I couldn't visit sooner,” Euphie apologized.

“I understand. It was my brother's wish to keep me secreted and safe. I wish it weren't so, but with everything that's been happening...”

“Yes,” Euphie nodded solemnly, “still, that is no excuse for me to not visit my sister.”

“Come, let's head inside. It would behoove me to not have proper manners as a host to my guests,” she said as she turned a small knob on her wheelchair and it spun around. She tilted her head up at the maid. “Sayoko, do you mind getting us some refreshments? Would papaya juice suffice?”

“Sounds wonderful, Nunna-chan,” Euphie followed her in as did Suzaku behind them, finally able to stop his tears. The overwhelming surge of emotion, a mix of both his own and that of the ghostly remnant of his partner, had hit him unexpectedly. He once had been used to such surges, more so when Lelouch was still alive, but J-Psych did say that ghost drifting was quite common among pilots. Normally, he was able to ride it out, disassociate the emotions of his own versus that of his partner's, but in this case, he was too out of practice, too complacent.

He took a deep breath and composed himself. It was good to see Nunnally again, even if it was just for a little while. As the doors slid shut behind him, he knew that perhaps, this would be the last time he saw her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two notes to address. 1st note: Lelouch and his infamous lack of muscles/stamina in the Code Geass world. It's obviously been a bit modified to fit this story, but he was still ranked as barely able to pass the physical fitness portion of the requirements. 2nd note: Jaeger Academy info from Travis Beachem - the writer of "Pacific Rim."  
> https://travisbeacham.tumblr.com/post/58753295593/i-wanted-to-ask-about-jaeger-academy-is-there


	6. Chapter 6

They finally arrived at Hong Kong technically two days after leaving Anchorage. It was a little after eighteen-hundred local and a small tropical disturbance made for a bumpy landing in the Jumphawk. The rain lashed at the metal body of the helicopter, a tinkling sound that reminded Suzaku eerily of the buzz of bullets from one of Siegfried Kai's dual-mounted miniguns.

Even though he was physically bone tired, having not slept well on the Jumphawk, he still felt quite mentally refreshed from his visit with Nunnally. Visiting her had soothed an open wound he did not know he had for the last five years. The visit allowed him to bask in more pleasant memories provided by the ghost drift with his long dead partner.

The door slid open and he hopped out, followed by Euphie. Tohdoh was waiting for them just beyond the rotors with an umbrella and they both hurried to his side. Suzaku took the umbrella as another one was opened and that was when he saw what looked a little like the most absurd getup he had ever seen on a person.

A man – or woman – he couldn't quite tell, stood behind Tohdoh, dressed in dark black suit, with hints of purple weave, golden stripes and a white cravat. An enormous black cape with crimson lining encircled the body and head. The face were covered by a distinctive looking black and indigo mask that could have been mistaken for a Jaeger helmet just by the design. What should have been the clear front was completely opaque.

Still, Suzaku remembered enough military protocol to tear his gaze away and salute Tohdoh. He nodded once at the figure standing on the man's right side. The figure wore no emblem or rank designation. “Sir,” he turned addressed Tohdoh. “Good to see you again.”

“Likewise, Ranger Kururugi. Cornelia processed the paperwork while you were on your way here. How was the flight?”

“Long, sir,” Suzaku replied, lowering his hand as they started to walk from the helipad to the inner section of the Shatterdome that would take them down to the lower levels.

“I apologize, but I cannot let you rest at the moment. We'll show you to the Shatterdome hanger bay then to Gipsy Danger,” Tohdoh replied. Suzaku managed to suppress the flinch at the mention of his old Jaeger's name, but couldn't quite leave the grimace off of his face. He took a glance at the silent sentinel that followed them in.

“Ah, where are my manners,” Tohdoh gestured towards the man standing behind him. “Ranger, this is Zero, my strategist. He came up with the plan and help coordinate the gathering of resources.”

Suzaku extended his hand automatically, noting Zero stood perhaps just an inch or two taller than he. However, to his surprise, Zero held up his own, declining to shake. Suzaku lowered his hand, staring at the other man. Something about that gesture prickled at him; it was...familiar.

“You should shake hands, it's quite rude,” Euphie spoke up behind them and Suzaku turned, very surprised by the bluntness in her tone. However, she only glared at Zero before turning away. He shot a look back and forth between the two. Did Euphie  _ know  _ who was under the mask?

He opened his mouth to voice his question, but stopped as he realized it would be rude. A man was entitled to his privacy and he supposed there were probably reasons he did not know for Zero to be wearing that mask. He would trust Tohdoh had everyone's best interests.

“I have enemies, even here at the Shatterdome,” Zero suddenly spoke and voice reverberating with a modulator that echoed loudly in the metal walls of the descending elevator. He shrugged. “Just answering the question you were about to ask...”

Suzaku shot a look at the masked man, a little annoyed. He could feel the ghost of a similar annoyance filling him at the know-it-all attitude that was displayed. His first impression of Zero made him  _ not _ want to get to know Tohdoh's strategist.

“And Princess, it is not rude when the offer was made by rote as I am sure Ranger Kururugi can attest to,” Zero turned to stare at Euphie from his sightless helmet.

Tohdoh suddenly coughed in a blatant attempt to diffuse the sudden tension that filled the elevator. “Zero was in charge of selecting the pilot candidates that would test with you tomorrow morning at the Kwoon for Drift compatibility.”

“I've studied your techniques and strategies,” Zero replied.

An awkward moment of silence followed his pronouncement as Suzaku realized he was not going to say anything else. He frowned. He turned to Tohdoh. “Sir, I'm not sure if this is the best idea-” Tohdoh raised an eyebrow, and for a second Suzaku was greatly reminded of the terrifying presence of his former mentor. He swallowed past his old discomfort. “Pilot candidates need to have some kind of compatibility, but also a rapport that can only be established-”

“We don't have that luxury, Ranger Kururugi,” Tohdoh interrupted sharply. “We're no more a full program than we are the Resistance now. Funding, supplies, everything's gone the wayside since the Anti-Kaiju Wall got the lion's share of the budget. These candidates have been vetted with compatibility in mind, Ranger. You were brought here to do a job.”

“And what's that, sir?” Suzaku asked. “All I heard was running to the Breach which we've already done and it doesn't work. What's changed?” He shot a quick look at Zero who had shifted a little, before looking back at Tohdoh when the other man declined to speak. But before the Marshal could answer, the elevator stopped with a thump and the heavy metal doors slid open, revealing the familiar worn metal hallways of a Shatterdome.

Tohdoh stepped out without answering him, Zero following close by. For a moment, Suzaku's mind rebelled, but years of discipline forced his feet to follow as he silently fumed. A tug on his arm made him turn to see Euphie sliding up to him with a quick shake of her head. She did not look too happy, but he silently acquiesced to her request to not press the issue at the moment. He respected his former mentor, but there were times when Tohdoh infuriated him with either half answers or no answers at all. Sometimes, he felt like he could not live up to the man's expectations, moreso when Genbu had died.

The four of them stopped in front of a large metal door and Zero quickly put the codes in. The large blast doors creaked open, and the immediate pungent odor of hydraulic fluid, diesel fuel along with the unmistakable smell of  _ metal _ alloys filled the air. Suzaku twitched, suddenly feeling the  _ yearning _ hunger again, the sensation of wanting it all, that he could fight the world, filling him at the sight of Jaegers before him. He stepped in after the three, anger and frustration melting away as he took in the Shatterdome's hanger bay.

It felt like the first time he had seen something so grand. He remembered the sights, the smells, the noise; echoing and clashing in a chorus that was of war machines being built. Beeps, sizzles and pops of construction and repair were constantly on-going. There were always things being improved or broken parts to fix – a furious buzz of technicians and workers determined to repair the Jaegers in time for their next encounter. His eyes immediately tracked to the nearest Jaeger; painted a bloody metallic red with burnished gold trimmings that were somewhat faded. It stood on one of the left bay pods.

“Crimson Typhoon,” Tohdoh announced as they walked towards a cluster of people, all wearing dark red coveralls.

Some were crowded around readout monitors, some were in the midst of discussions with others. But there were two distinct people standing with a small knot, joined by a white-haired young woman with the chevrons that denoted her rank as a J-Tech Chief on her red coveralls. Shadowing her was a man with severe features, a very military posture, and wearing what looked like a Chinese  _ jian _ on his left hip. It looked out of place with the red coveralls he was wearing, but there was no denying the fact that Li Xingke looked every inch the proud pilot of Crimson Typhoon even with grease-stained clothing.

Standing just a little bit behind Xingke with an equally mirrored stern look was his wife, Zhou Xianglin with her  _ jian _ on her right hip. One would have thought it curious to have swords on opposite sides, especially considering China was still rooted in centuries old stigma of those who were supposedly left-handed, but Suzaku was not surprised by the distinction. When he piloted Gipsy Danger, outside of the cockpit, whenever he was with Lelouch, the two of them would act as mirrors and in concert occasionally doing things together. He was born right-handed, but after being the left-hemisphere of Gipsy Danger for so long, he found himself more ambidextrous. Lelouch was always comfortable using either of his hands, having not identified as to which hand was more dominant.

He knew he should not be surprised see that Tianzi, the Empress of China, dressed in equally dirty coveralls – considering who Gipsy's former J-Tech Chief was – but he supposed it baffled him on the level that a single nation's leader was in the trenches so to speak. Not only did it speak volumes to China's dedication to the war effort, but also how much the Empress loved her people and equally reciprocated. It showed with every single person on that team, from the lowliest mechanic to the pilots as they crowded around the white-haired teenager.

Someone on her team must have said something as she turned, mid-gesture. Her wide doe-eyes lit up at the sight of them before she waved frantically. She cupped her hands and her cry echoed towards them. “Euphie!”

Immediately, Xingke gingerly placed a hand on Tianzi's shoulder and muttered in her ear. The white-haired teen turned beet red. However, the damage had already been done.

Suzaku turned to see Euphie had turned as pink as her braided hair. He couldn't help but crack a smile at her sudden embarrassment at being called out in such a public and childish way. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Tohdoh fighting the urge to break his stoic demeanor the corner of his lips twitching in amusement. The Marshal nodded once to give Euphie permission to leave their group for a moment.

She coughed and excused herself with a polite Japanese-style bow of respect towards Tohdoh before hurrying over to the Crimson Typhoon team. Suzaku watched for a moment as Tianzi immediately hurried up to her friend and began to apologize profusely. He caught Xingke and Xianglin's eyes and dipped his chin in a silent greeting towards them. There would be time to talk later.

“Ah, Cherno Alpha, right on schedule,” Tohdoh continued the tour as they walked away. Euphie would probably find them once she was finished talking with her fellow J-Tech Chief.

Suzaku saw the bay doors slowly closing as the hulking giant machine of a very old Mark I was being rolled in. Already, its crew were swarming over it, dressed in the dark greens that were almost the same paint job as Cherno Alpha. Its head, if one could call it that, looked like the stack of an old nuclear reactor. Technically, that  _ was _ where the reactor was located. Below that was the conn-pod, a reverse design that the European United build team was experimenting in the early days of the Kaiju War.

Two pilots, walking hand-in-hand with their helmets by their side preceded the rolling loader that carried the massive Jaeger. Blonde-haired, purple-eyed, Leila Breisgau looked every inch the cold Nordic noble her family line hailed from. However, compared to her husband who walked next to her, Akito Hyuga was perhaps the epitome of stoic soldier. There was discipline in every step he took, a rigidness that spoke of years of military service. The only thing that was perhaps not in regulation was the long tail of a thin braid he had along with the messy blue-hair. It certainly matched his dark blue eyes though.

Suzaku heard rumors that the European United used refugees, or what they called Displaced Persons, as military cannon fodder. They took orphaned children, and trained them up as child soldiers. Though European United leadership never disputed any accounts, they did always say that their soldiers 'technically' volunteered, giving their families a better life as they qualified for full European United citizenship. Akito was the same age as himself, but Suzaku shuddered to think of how much the man's childhood had been robbed because of such a policy. It was as bad, if not worse than Britannia's tendency to make “Areas” of the places they conquered.

The two approached and it was closer that Suzaku saw that Leila was holding a cat in one of her arms, dispelling the slightly martial air about them. The cat was all black with the exception of one white foreleg.

“Marshal,” the two pilots of Cherno Alpha stopped in front of them. “Zero.”

“Colonel Breisgau, Corporal Hyuga, how was the flight down?”

“Long, cold, but we're used to it,” Leila smiled slightly. “We've also brought most of the ordinance and supplies Zero's requested.” She turned to the masked man still shadowing Tohdoh – and who had been completely silent since the elevator ride. “I'm sorry, Zero, I'm still waiting on some of my informants for word on the Order.”

“It's fine,” Zero replied shortly.

“Rangers, I'd like to introduce you formally to Ranger Suzaku Kururugi,” Tohdoh gestured towards Suzaku. “I'm sure you've met him before on vid comms before this, but-”

Leila shifted the cat to her other hand, releasing her husband's grip, and extended her hand out and Suzaku met it with a quick firm shake. “On behalf of the two of us, welcome back to the fold, Ranger.” Her words clearly indicated that Akito was not even going to bother shaking, but as Suzaku glanced at him, he did see that neither was it unfriendliness that held back the other man's mannerisms. It seemed Akito was not one for physical contact at all save for holding his wife's hand. That particular quirk, he knew was definitely from the Drift.

“We're glad you're here to ride with us,” Leila continued, settling her cat back into its previous position. The cat yawned, showing little pointed teeth before blinking at him with baleful yellow eyes. Suzaku felt a pang of nostalgia. He wondered if Arthur was still around...or if Gipsy's old mascot cat had died in the years since he had left the service.

“This is Elizabeth,” Leila caught him staring at the cat before a smile appeared on her face. “Elizabeth, this is Suzaku. He likes cats, right?”

The last question had been a nervous puzzlement on Leila's face and Suzaku shrugged. He vaguely remembered the last time he had talked on the vid comm, Arthur had been there, curled up in his arms, thankfully not in one of his habits of biting him on the finger each time he tried to pet the animal. He had no idea why. Lelouch had suspected perhaps it was an affectionate gestured by the cat, but Suzaku's fingers ached in phantom pain at his terrible joke and suggestion. The suggestion had also been laced with heavy innuendo, but he ignored his partner's words at that time.

“I like them, but I get the feeling they don't like me-” He had reached up to tentatively scratch Elizabeth behind the ears, but stopped as he felt the familiar shooting pain from his index finger. His face fell as he stared at the cat that bit his finger. “-Or...they just don't like me very much...”

Leila laughed and even the corner of Akito's lips had quirked up in amusement. Leila's cat released his finger and Suzaku shook it out before glancing down at his finger. There was no blood, but there were definite imprints of teeth marks from where Elizabeth sank her fangs into it as a warning or affection – he couldn't tell at this point. It was the fact that another  _ cat _ bit him. Again.

“You have the devil's luck,” Zero murmured with something that sounded like humor and Suzaku glanced at the other man. But Zero had already turned away, looking into the far distance as if someone else was approaching.

Suzaku also turned, curious as to what might have attracted the other man's attention. He was glad he did as he immediately saw the wide smile of Striker Eureka's predominantly left-hemisphere, Gino Weinberg's face fall before a hilarious pout marred his handsome features.

“Aw, Zero! I was about to ambush him!” Gino whined, belying his twenty-seven years of age. Towering over almost everyone save for Marshal Tohdoh, Gino loped up to them and instantly draped an arm around Suzaku's shoulder, like he had in the old days.

For a second Suzaku almost panicked, not used to the gesture, but then realized, the weight felt reassuring, familiar and most of all – friendly. There was no hesitancy in Gino's actions, nothing to indicate formality or a stiffness that had been prevalent in all of his interactions with former colleagues or friends he had not seen in five years. No sense of pity, of sympathy or even a swirl of confusing emotion, just pure and simple familiarity and friendship with that one single gesture. It felt good and he tentatively indulged in the feeling it gave him.

“You got heavier,” he shot back, jostling the arm around his shoulder with a sharp shrug.

“You loss muscle mass,” Gino shot back with a toothy smile, his blue eyes twinkling. “Shrimpy even.”

“Really, best insult you come come up with in...oh, five and half years?” Suzaku eyed his long-time friend. Gino shrugged in return, his lips curling up in a playful smirk.

“I just arrived, it's a long flight from Sydney, you know?”

“Uh huh...sure.” A voice none of them expected to even join in with the banter made everyone glance back to see Akito cross his arms across his chest, staring at Gino with an elegantly raised eyebrow.

The blond-haired pilot grinned in return, leaning a little more on Suzaku as his temporary arm rest apparently. “All right then Akito,” Gino's voice dropped to a more ribald range, “let's compare mileage-”

“No,” the flat out denial, from almost everyone save for Gino – even Zero's body language expressed exasperation as much as a man could in that get up – made the Britannian throw his hands up.

“What? I meant- ow!” Gino winced and the weight of his friend was suddenly lifted off of Suzaku by none other than Striker Eureka's other half, Kallen Kouzuki.

She tugged on his ear, pulling him a couple of steps away before letting go. She immediately bowed to Marshal Tohdoh. “Sir, I apologize for my partner's actions and lack of decorum. On behalf of Striker Eureka's team, we ask for your forgiveness.”

“Accepted. Welcome to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, Ranger Kouzuki and Ranger Weinberg,” Tohdoh had a flinty look in his eyes and Suzaku recognized it as a man who had been utterly appalled at what had just happened between all of them. He could see Gino shrinking back a little, attempting to hide behind Kallen's smaller stature – even though she was a tall woman herself.

“We'll get ourselves situated,” Kallen saluted once and without even acknowledging Suzaku, she took Gino's arm and dragged him away.

“We'll also go make sure our crew is berthed and Cherno is ready to go,” Leila stepped in, excusing herself and Akito with precise salutes as the momentary levity quickly disappeared. That left the three of them alone.

Suzaku did not hesitate to take the opportunity given to him. “Sir,” he turned to Tohdoh, “what's changed with the plan to hit the Breach?”

“We're going to strap a two-hundred and forty-two thousand pound nuclear warhead to Striker's back. He's the fastest we have in the fleet.” Tohdoh finally relented. “You and two other Jaegers here will be running defense on that team.”

“But I thought we were the Resistance? Where did you get something that big?” Suzaku was surprised.

Tohdoh's lips quirked up in a tight smile. “You see the Colonel there? Disgruntled Britannian and European United military contacts. Mostly in the former Russian territories. We got a  _ lot _ , I mean, a lot of things from her. Black market, extra parts, weaponry, even Sakuradite, you name it.” His eyes shifted and Suzaku saw Euphie approach, having finished her conversation with Tianzi. “Chief li Britannia, please show Ranger Kururugi to his Jaeger now and get him settled. Zero, come with me.” Tohdoh spun and started to walk away, Zero trailing smartly behind him.

“Sir,” Euphie acknowledged the order.

“Wait a second, Euphie,” Suzaku could tell Tohdoh was not telling him everything and jogged up to catch them.

“Marshal!” he called out, stopping the two. “Sir, we've hit the Breach before, it doesn't work. Nothing can go through. The last nuclear warhead we tried to shove in there bounced right off. What's changed?”

“We've got a plan,” Tohdoh replied tightly, “and we need you ready. That's all...” He turned back around and stepped away.

Suzaku met the blank mask of Zero for a second before the man nodded once at him and followed the Marshal, his cape flowing behind him. Suzaku could not help the strange wash of nostalgia and familiarity that flowed through him at that departing gesture. Who was Zero?

* * *

He pondered the man's existence as Euphie led him deeper into the bays, his legs absently carrying him up several flights of stairs before she stopped. He nearly bumped into her and stumbled slightly on the metal stairs. He thought to ask her about Zero and where he came from, but as he looked up from his musings, all thoughts about the masked man fled from his mind.

“There she is...Gipsy Danger...”

She was gorgeous.

A rush of emotions hit Suzaku, leaving him rather light headed as he stared at the mechanical giant that stood before him. She was a faded dark blue, like the deep oceans, the plans and angles, even the bolts on her plates reminiscent of old war bombers and prototype Knightmare frames. Curvy in a mechanical sense, with a semi-classic hourglass shape, she held her nuclear chest core well and he could imagine the familiar blades spinning, lighting up white-blue before turning into its burnished orange.

Her head, where the conn-pod was located, looked unchanged, a honeycomb of yellow-gold, reflective of the fierceness she had. It was a stylized fighter pilot's helmet design, giving her a toughness that belied her scrappy nimbleness on the battlefield. Large flaps stemming from the shoulders up to a protective plate in the back protected her detachable head, one of the holdover designs from the old Mark I and II Jaegers.

“She's got some of the improvements in the later models to account for an increase in movement, but it makes her a bit more vulnerable to melee attacks. However, her ability to dodge should be a lot better and match your fighting form more accurately. She's got the same dual nuclear core vortex turbines for power, 08FS/Ocean Cooling vents, and 988D/Hyper-Torque Drives in her muscle strands to account for the increase in locomotion. Solid iron hull with no alloys. We've decreased the time it takes to fire the I-19 Plasmacaster, no need to crank it up again, and increased the payload. She's got twin GD6 Chainswords on either forearms too. More weaponry and alignment with your fighting style,” Euphie rattled off with a proud smile on her face.

Suzaku glanced at her and she met his gaze with a slight widening of her smile. “I'll send you the technical specs later. You can pour over it at your leisure.”

“She's beautiful,” he said as his eyes roamed all over her, taking in her form. “Like she was never-”

“Never damaged...” Euphie finished, her smile dimming. She reached over and grasped his hand, squeezing it gently.

The awe he had upon initially seeing his Jaeger was fading fast as his eyes now tracked the pats where Gipsy was damaged in Knifehead's attack. Where her head was bashed in, exposing the conn-pod. Where-

“I...we didn't want you here six months ago when we first started. We knew...we figured it would be hard to see...well, see her state after we recovered her from the scrapyard.”

“Thanks,” he swallowed past the lump in his throat at the mention and squeezed her fingers back. He released her hand and gripped the railing, leaning forward as he continued to take his Jaeger in. The flashes of welding and light as the final finishing touches of Gipsy Danger's repair provided the soundtrack and noise as he closed his eyes and listened. Trying to purge the nightmarish thoughts he had, he forced himself to concentrate. To listen to her heartbeat, his own heartbeat. He could almost feel her around him, the ghostly presence of Lelouch just out of his reach. He could feel her mourn, as if she too missed him. But most of all, he could feel the warmth of encouragement, that he need not be afraid, that she would gladly and willingly go with him to whatever hell he wanted.

He exhaled slowly and opened his eyes again, his lips quirking up in a sad smile. He silently thanked Gipsy for her strength. Euphie stepped up near him, her hands folded in front of her. Her gaze was focused on a single point, as if she was staring past the Jaeger.

“Zero had a lot of input in the rebuild and planning for this mission. He specifically asked that Gipsy Danger be rebuilt and for us to find you,” she stated.

“Who is he?”

She pressed her lips together, but did not look at him. “I can't tell you that, Suzaku. I want to, but I can't.”

He wrinkled his brow. “Why not?”

“Not my place,” she replied. “I know who he is. However, that doesn't mean shit when it comes to the way he uses and manipulates people.”

“Uses?” He narrowed his eyes. “He's using Tohdoh-”

“And Tohdoh knows it. I know it. He'll use you, he'll use all of the pilots and their Jaegers here. To him, we're his pawns and we don't have a say in it – not if we're going to survive this.”

Suzaku opened his mouth for a second, wanting to ask why would she follow someone like that? But he closed it after considering her words. Euphie was whip-smart, and judging by what he learned about her after all these years, she wanted information. Yearned for it like he yearned to pilot Gipsy Danger and live in the Drift. She knew who Zero was and in that sense-

“You respect him,” he concluded and she nodded, her expression tightening for a moment.

“I do. God knows I do, and sometimes I hate myself for it, but the alternative?” She shuddered. “I'd hate to think of the alternative...”

“He's that...important? To you? To Tohdoh? To...this?” He gestured around them.

She nodded again. “He's...the linchpin. He's our ace-in-the-hole.”

“And you can't tell me who he is.”

She finally turned and her cornflower blue eyes were sorrowful. She shook her head. “I'm sorry...it's not my place.” She pursed her lips together. “I'm only asking you that you trust him.”

“That I allow myself to be used by him,” Suzaku's eyes flashed in distaste. “That I jump at his every order and command?”

“If it is necessary, yes,” she replied.

“Then why the fuck is he  _ not _ Marshal?”

“He told me he works better in the shadows. I have it on good authority that there were a few attempts on his life and he's been branded by the Britannian government as a terrorist.”

Suzaku's jaw dropped. “What?”

“Domestic terrorism charges. The Britannian nobles and press have been blaming him from being a kaiju cultist to sabotage of the wall. I'm pretty sure Cornelia will find some way of laying the blame of what happened with Sydney's Wall on Zero.” She pursed her lips together and stared at him for a long moment. “I'll...send you my subscription to the newsnet. Maybe let you catch up on recent events?”

“S-Sure...” Suzaku did not know why he suddenly felt so shaken. He did not even like Zero, finding him aloof and curt, like he was being looked down upon at times. But Euphie trusted him, Tohdoh trusted him. And Zero was considered a  _ terrorist _ by Britannia? He had not heard the news...or even if he had, he realized he must have ignored it or buried it under the nightmares he had been living with for so many years. Another thought occurred to him. “Wait...why-”

“We  _ are _ the Resistance, Suzaku,” Euphie said in a simple tone. “Everyone here believes in Zero, believes in Tohdoh and the plan we've put together for the last six months. Everyone here believes in the Jaeger program and they don't believe the trumped up rumors about Zero. Or if they did, they're hiding it really well and not saying it to his face. They understand that his plan is better than nothing and that the kaiju are a bigger threat than whatever Britannia is painting him to be. He's been doing good for the people here. A bit ruthlessly, but nonetheless he's been doing good. If someone rats him out to the Britannians, well, it's not like they can do anything to us.”

“Until the walls are completed, but now, with the kaiju breaking through-” He whistled, a low note. “Wow...the kaiju breaking through the wall plays right into the narrative they've established with the public about Zero, haven't they?”

“Unfortunately yes,” Euphie looked at him, “I see my brother's influence in those words.”

Suzaku smiled sadly. He tapped his head, “It's one of his better qualities...”

“It is,” she agreed.

He sighed and leaned against the railing, staring aimlessly now at his Jaeger and the rest of the hanger bay. The bay technicians were almost done berthing Cherno Alpha in its new home. “I guess the real question now, is what's Zero going to do about it.”

“How do you figure?”

“Well, if I were him, I'd try to take advantage of the situation. Maybe let them blame me, but figure out someway or somehow to twist that narrative. Grow his myth or something. I don't know if he wants to go public or not, but it would be a good way to now focus the public's attention on our mission. Maybe grab some of the money flow and rally the people into the cause of The Breach or whatever you want to call it-”

“Operation Pitfall.”

“-Operation Pitfall. It's an opportunity I'd think if Lelouch was alive, would use it. With four Jaegers and already the trust of the personnel within, he'd not have to worry about internal strife or anything. Plus, we technically got the last four Jaegers in existence. Britannia's kept theirs a secret so if they're going to reveal it now, it be a piss poor public relations grab.”

Silence greeted his last words and he turned to see Euphie, wide-eyed and goggling at him. He tilted his head a little. “I lived in his head, Euphie, for four and half years...he lived in mine...”

“I-I know...” she looked shaken. “But...I've never...I've never seen, or rather, never heard you talk like this in all of those years-”

Suzaku grimaced, the echoing loss of his best friend tearing at him. He could almost imagine the ghostly presence reaching out, caressing him, telling him it would be all right. But it was just that, a ghost, a remnant. Lelouch had died screaming in pain in his mind, their link severed painfully. “Because he was always there,” he said softly.

The sudden snap made them turn to see the tail end of a dark black cloak with crimson lining disappear into the shadows. Suzaku frowned and was about to run after Zero to demand why he had apparently either was listening in or had come to talk when Euphie's hand on his arm stopped him. He looked back at her and she shook her head.

“It's not worth it,” she said. “Don't...”

“But-”

“Not worth your time, Suzaku...”

He sighed, too tired to argue with her and leaned against the railing again. Looking around, he let his thoughts drift, comforted and tortured by the sight of his beautiful Gipsy Danger. He hoped he had made the right decision coming back with Euphie – reenlisting and joining Operation Pitfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here begins some of the major divergences from the Pacific Rim movies. It'll be a general outline and flow, but expect more politics and drama (I should probably label this drama llama, but whatever).


	7. Chapter 7

_The wailing of klaxons startled him from his sleep. He lifted his head and stared at the holographic hardlight projection that sprung up at the head of the bed._

_[INCOMING ALERT, KAIJU LANDFALL IMMINENT. CATEGORY 4, KNIFEHEAD]_

“ _Lelouch! Wake up!” He turned over and roughly shook his partner's shoulder. It elicited a mumbled 'huh?' followed by sleepy violet eyes blinking at him uncomprehendingly. “Wake up!” he insisted before hopping out of the bed. He snagged a clean tee-shirt in the recently washed laundry pile they had and put it on, with a little bit of difficulty, before he realized it was one of Lelouch's. It fitted a lot more snugly than he was used to, but he managed to roll it over his head and down his torso. “Come on! Category 4 alert! Kaiju code named,_ Knifehead _ .” _

_He turned back to see Lelouch sleepily sit up, still blinking sleep from his eyes before Suzaku bounded over and patted his partner on the shoulder. “Come on!” he insisted. “Marshal's gonna have your ass if we're not at the ready room in fifteen minutes!”_

“ _I'm up, I'm up,” Lelouch shook his head slowly, his shaggy black hair falling across his face for a second, obscuring his beautiful eyes, but he was moving, dragging himself out of their bed. He stumbled towards the bathroom, stretching as he walked. He adjusted the shoulder of his tee-shirt even though he was going to discard it soon for a newer, cleaner one. Lelouch's habit of staying clothed even on hot swelting summers, was one of the more amusing quirks Suzaku found out in the years of Drifting with his partner._

_Suzaku bounded over to him again. “We get this one, its number five, yeah?” He held up his fist, Lelouch automatically holding up his own, but their effort at their coordinated handshake was a little off. Suzaku rolled his eyes as Lelouch shuffled into the bathroom, but stopped and turned back before he closed the door. He looked a little more awake._

“ _Hey,” he said and Suzaku grinned at him. “Don't get cocky.”_

“ _Whatever,” he waved his best friend to quickly do his business and clean himself up. Turning to the small kitchenette they had in their room, he pulled out some fresh orange juice for himself and started the Nespresso machine for Lelouch. If it wasn't an imminent attack happening, he would have gladly made a pour over-style coffee for his friend, knowing he preferred the smooth taste instead of the ones out of pods of prepackaged coffee. Still, the Nespresso machine was for today._

_Maybe after Knifehead's defeat, they could properly enjoy the pour over...and some more. The PPDC didn't discourage pilot couples nor their respective crews from more traditionally nocturnal activities, but while they were under red alert status, they were heavily discouraged from all distractions in order to ensure all crews were ready a moment's notice. There were always rumors that someone broke the rules, but as pilots, Suzaku was well aware of the additional scrutiny. He and Lelouch were also disciplined enough to know that they would never do something so stupid as to having sex right before a kaiju attacked. People's lives were at stake and they would adhere to what was drilled into them at the Academy._

“ _Thoughts?” Lelouch's presence in the ghosting Drift each pilot had with their partners preceded his question by a half a second and Suzaku turned, shrugging._

“ _Sex,” he replied bluntly._

“ _And you complain that I'm the crass one,” his friend shook his head, accepting the coffee mug and sipping it while he quickly chowed down on a protein bar. It wasn't exactly a protein bar more than it was a nutritional bar full of ingredients designed to extend the energy and keep hunger at bay for pilots on possible long engagements against kaiju. Everyone just called it a protein bar for lack of a better naming convention._

“ _You're the one who solicited it first or have you forgotten,” Suzaku pointed out, drinking his glass of orange juice and eating his own protein bar._

“ _If I'm about to be in your head and the first thing that comes up while we're calibrating is us having sex, then we'll see who is crass.”_

“ _Can't tell which one's though. It'll be the same thoughts,” he pointed out._

_Lelouch rolled his eyes, sipping on his coffee as he made a face. “Nespresso...ugh.”_

“ _Hopefully it won't be like Clawhook. Too tired to do anything except sleep like the dead for one week straight.”_

“ _Think of it as giving information to Dr. Lightcap and breaking a record of Drifting that hasn't been matched since.”_

“ _Pioneers,” Suzaku set his cup down and leaned over Lelouch to swipe the holographic hardlight info to their PDA. As he leaned back, he felt the gentle brush of his partner's lips on his cheek._

“ _Save your energy for later...” Lelouch whispered in his ear, his breath tickling the short hairs, and Suzaku blushed. That got a laugh out of his lover and he shot him a sideways look in return. Lelouch could be such a tease at times. But he did keep that particular seductive request in the back of his mind._

“ _All right, what do we have here,” Lelouch's voice suddenly snapped to business-like, fishing his PDA out and staring at the info that Suzaku had transferred over._

_It never ceased to amaze Suzaku how his best friend was able to instantly turn his charms on and off, going from lover to strategist in less than the blink of an eye. He propped his arm against Lelouch's shoulder, letting his cup hang in his hand as Lelouch studied the info they were given. There was a clock ticking down the time they were due in the ready room, but he knew they would make it in time. Suzaku watched, not the screen, but his friend, mesmerized by how his violet eyes made the smallest movement, absorbing info, mind already coming up with a plan of attack._

_This son of a bitch would never know what hit him._

Suzaku started awake with a heaving gasp, staring up at the dimly lit metallic ceiling that was his room. It looked exactly like the same ceiling of the Anchorage Shatterdome. Most of the Shatterdomes were prefabricated units put together to ensure that various Jaegers could fit in without any problems. There were minor differences and in this case, Hong Kong's had so much room – thanks to the Chinese government's generous funding of its build – that most of crews were allotted single beds instead of bunking up in groups. Pilots were given doubles, bunks or otherwise, but since Suzaku was still looking for a Drift partner, he got a single.

He did not know if he really wanted to share a double with whomever would be his partner. The echo and ghost of Lelouch was still there, stronger now that he was back in a Shatterdome. The dream he had – the beginning of the nightmare affair with Knifehead – it haunted him.

He expected, after finding his new partner, there would be an adjustment period, but he didn't know if he was truly ready to let himself room with another, to really bond with whomever was going to be chosen. The Drift would end up allowing them to become closer, but Suzaku was scared. Not scared enough that he would do his duty and his job, but scared mostly for his new partner. Would it be someone inexperienced that he would have to expose years and years of anguish, grief, rage, denial, heartache and so much adoration and love to? Or would it be a veteran who came with his or her own baggage? Considering he was one of the only, if not  _ the only _ pilot of an age that was coming to an end who had experience, he suspected whomever Zero had chosen to test with him would be inexperienced. He had attempted to read through years and years of news, rosters and reports, trying to catch up on the years he missed last night, but there was so much to get through. The general gist he got from the initial batch of reports was that there had been twenty-four,  _ twenty-four,  _ kaiju attacks alone in the previous year. And it had completely decimated the fleet of Jaegers.

It was a miracle they had four Jaegers left. No wonder Zero and Tohdoh had spent the last six months creating Operation Pitfall.

He laid in bed, letting his breaths slow, his heartbeat become more steady. Throwing an arm across his eyes, he didn't feel the tears come, but he did feel the emotions of his dream. He had been so giddy, so confident to the point of arrogance. They both had...and like the silly, arrogant young twenty-one year olds who thought they could take on the world, they made their plans, lived in the future and did not live in the here and now.

And they paid the price.

Gods fallen from Mount Olympus.

Suzaku stayed awake for a long time, simply breathing before his alarm went off, signaling his intended wake up time. Groping for the light switch in the room, he flicked it on, wincing at the sudden harshness that flooded the room. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust and he lowered his arm when it was finally safe. He finally got out of his bed and to the small bathroom that was no bigger than the one Dr. Croomy had at the wall.

He showered, using the cold water – hot water was rationed as he had found out last night – to push all thoughts of his dream out of his mind. He focused on the here and now. Getting out, he dressed himself in the familiar PPDC PT clothes. He threw on the jacket he had brought with him from Alaska, keeping his bare arms covered against the coldness of the Shatterdome. Temperatures tended to be at least ten degrees colder than ambient sixty-eight Fahrenheit to help ensure optimal maintenance on Jaegers, J-Tech systems and most importantly the Pons.

His stomach rumbled as he headed to the mess hall, passing technicians and a few K-Science personnel who looked like they either had started their shifts or had been on shift for a while now. Granted a Shatterdome was always pretty busy, but Suzaku had never seen it almost non-stop operational unless a Jaeger in one of its bays was engaged with a kaiju.

Whatever Zero and Tohdoh were planning, it would soon be implemented. With that sobering thought, he navigated the maze of halls to the mess and entered, blinking at the sight of so many people. Four crews worth of Jaegers sat around, all eating and talking with one another. While most of the crews clustered around their own, there were more than a few sitting with others, a mix of faded reds, dark greens, washed blues and greys denoting the teams of the four Jaegers.

Most of Gipsy's crew – wearing washed blue coveralls – sat scattered among the others. It was clear that they were pulled from other crews to work on the Jaeger's restoration.

“Hey, Suzaku, over here!” Gino's cheerful voice called out and he spotted the blond-haired pilot waving him over, exiting the line carrying two trays. He walked, intent on asking where the start of the line was before Gino wrapped a tray-filled arm around him and guided him over to a table. To his dismay, he saw Kallen also sitting there, glaring at them – or rather at him.

“No wait-”

“Ah, don't worry, I've got plenty! And this is real bread and bacon too!” Gino sounded proud as he sat them both down and set the steaming tray of good looking food in front of him. Suzaku's mouth began to immediately water at the sight of the heartiest breakfast he had ever seen in the last five years.

“Yeah, I know,” Gino's voice was muffled by the double strip of bacon he shoved into his mouth.

“Oh ew, man,” Kallen's lips curled in disgust, “You pig. Dude, stop it.”

“It's bacon, Kallen, Ba-a-a-con!” Gino wolfed down the other two strips and smacked his lips. “Do you know how  _ hard _ it is to get real pork now? Not stupid kangaroo?!” He turned and rolled his eyes at Suzaku. “Kangaroo, Australia's national symbol and a complete pest apparently. Don't ask how I feel about eating a country's national symbol even though they allow it. Too gamy, in my opinion. I just want fat in the strips of my meat.”

“You're gonna get fat,” Kallen groused, rolling her eyes.

“Whatever,” the other man stuck his tongue out childishly at the same time Suzaku spied his fingers attempting to steal  _ his _ plate of bacon. He quickly moved it out of the way and crunched on two of them himself. It earned him the same hilariously childish pout at the same time the briefest acknowledgment of thwarting Gino's attempt to steal his food.

The bacon was delicious, an explosion of salt, spices and bits of crunchy meat that tasted of smoke and the softness of the layers of fat. After so many years of rations, this bit of flavor was really good. He quickly polished the rest of the strips and saw Gino chuckle.

“Miss it?”

“Rations,” he replied, poking at the other food on the plate. Scrambled eggs, some kind of mashed thing that was probably grits – he would avoid that – hashbrowns and two slices of toast. He decided to eat the bread, crunching on its sour taste from the slight burnt marks.

“Hong Kong's an open port. Not like some of the other places. No wall here, no rationing and saving to feed everyone as they evacuate the coastlines. We can get whatever foodstuffs we can only dream of.”

Suzaku nodded, swallowing the toast and downing it with some orange juice. His lips puckered a little at the sour-sweetness. The last time he had orange juice was the hours before Knifehead. He still remembered the taste.

“So where did you disappear to these five years where they serve rations?” Kallen's voice brought him back to reality before he could fully delve back into the memories and he glanced at her to see her staring at him. Her blue eyes were chipped.

“I've...been in construction,” he offered, sensing that she was angry at him. He did not know why, but there was contempt dripping in her voice.

“Construction,” an eyebrow rose and fell. “Must be pretty nice then. When things go to shit, you can build your way out of it, right?”

“Hey-”

“No, you don't get to come back after five years and expect things to be the fucking same, Suzaku. No way in hell. Everyone walking on fucking eggshells around you, treating you like you're their savior. No fucking way-”

“I didn't ask for that,” he glared at her, breakfast momentarily forgotten.

“Yeah, well neither did I!” She stood up, grabbing her tray. “You stay out of my way, Kururugi. You get in it, and I'll drop you like a piece of kaiju shit.” With that, she left.

Suzaku stared at his tray and his fork absently stabbing into the eggs. He really did not feel like eating, but forced himself to. He would need the energy for the Kwoon.

“Don't mind her, Suzaku,” Gino sighed next to him. “Some times I'm not sure whether I want to berate or calm her.”

“I know exactly which one she needs,” he shot back at his friend darkly. “Why the hell is she angry with me?”

Gino winced. “It's...complicated.”

“You want to uncomplicated it for me?” Suzaku asked, stabbing another piece of scrambled eggs. He shoved it into his mouth. It tasted like ash, but he forced himself to swallow.

The blond Jaeger pilot sighed, poking his own food. “We found out about who's riding Gipsy just before Mutavore attacked. Saying Kallen was pissed is the understatement of the year.”

“I get that feeling.”

“Yeah, well, I didn't get much from the Drift while we fought, but I did get strong impressions of Naoto.”

“Her brother?”

“Yeah,” Gino grimaced. “She wouldn't talk about it after either. All I got from the Drift was just a lot of Naoto. We didn't chase the RABIT, but it was interesting to feel her anger and use it against Mutavore.” He shook his head a little, some of his blond hair falling into his face. “Hasn't talked to me about it since finding out they were trying to bring you back to ride Gipsy.”

“That is complicated,” Suzaku admitted.

Gino shrugged. “Yeah well, sorry it's not much to go on.” They both finished the last of their food and headed out of the mess hall.

“So what's up for you this morning? Calibrations on Striker?”

“Actually,” Gino shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked towards the Kwoon and Suzaku noticed he was wearing the same sweatpants he was. “I'm one of the candidates.” The tall pilot did not meet his gaze. “Zero told us last night-”

“Us?”

“Yeah, apparently Kallen is too.”

Suzaku jaw dropped open. “W-Wait...what? But...but the two of you are Striker Eureka's pilots-”

“I know. I mean, Zero said that he had it handled if one of us does prove to be compatible to you, but I have no idea-”

“Are you okay with leaving Striker and piloting Gipsy? Is Kallen okay with this? Why...why would he break up a pair?” He wished the distinctive cape and helmeted man would be somewhere nearby so he could automatically throttle him to a wall and demand his answers. Why would someone so callously break up a pilot-pair?!

Everyone knew once someone Drifted with their chosen partner, it was not recommended to break the team up, considering the bonds that were created one melding their minds together. Even medics and doctors who treated the pilot pairs after a combat Drift were given strict instructions to only separate pilot pairs if it was a dire life-threatening emergency. They were allowed to sit with their other half in hospital beds and situations where most families and loved ones weren't allowed in circumstances. It all had to do with the technology and science behind the Pons. That essentially, they became one person and to help each other cope in the aftermath – especially after combat – they needed to have that sensation, that feeling to slowly fade away, for one person to become two individuals again, to regain their own ids.

“I...don't think I'd be okay leaving Striker, if it was anyone but you,” Gino looked down at the ground for a second before staring at him sideways. He smiled, but his cheeriness did not reach his blue eyes. “I've had experience, Suzaku. Don't worry about me. It's...a lot easier for me to adjust to the circumstances. Maybe for Kallen too considering what she's been through...”

Suzaku's brow wrinkled as he considered Gino's words. “But that doesn't necessarily mean you'd be happy about it.”

“I probably wouldn't. I like Striker. He's a good Jaeger. Fast, burly, nimble, modern. Compared to Gipsy, sorry, but she's...old, analog. But I trust Zero and his judgment. It's been sound for the last few engagements we've been in.”

“You know who he is?”

“Nope,” Gino popped the last syllable. “But I do know he's pretty ruthless and accurate when it comes to analyzing the kaiju patterns and spotting weaknesses. He gave me and Kallen emergency information for Mutavore. That's how we were able to react so fast and take him down. Of course, aided by Striker's speed and fighting capabilities, but yeah. He was able to come up with an attack plan that saved most of the population after the bastard breached the wall.”

He held up a hand. “That said, he's not all knowing. We still suffered heavy Jaeger, pilot and support losses, especially in the last year or so, but it stopped most kaiju from destroying the walls or massive loss of human life. Even the Britannians have used some of the strategies that he came up with before they retired their fleet and hid behind the walls at Pendragon Shatterdome.”

His smile became a little crooked. “Of course, they were sent under the pseudonym Julius Kingsley. Be a bit ironic if they knew they came from Zero with all of the political shit that's been buzzing about.”

“And as the Knight of Three, you're okay with him and this whole thing?”

“Eh,” Gino shrugged. “I serve the Emperor, but I know how to spot an opportunity to kick a lot of kaiju asses. Most people don't want to be so friendly with me since I am a Knight of the Round – Kallen, yourself, and Princess J-Tech, the exception – but the fact that Zero's entrusted me as a candidate for Drift testing with you...well, hey, I gotta give him some trust in return, right?”

Suzaku nodded absently as they arrived at the Kwoon. It was still mostly empty, but he stiffened as he saw Kallen already inside, warming up. She sent him an icy look as Gino broke away and headed towards her. The wide goofy smile was back on his face, seemingly oblivious to her dark mood. If someone told him six or seven years ago that Kallen Kouzuki and Gino Weinberg were destined to be Drift partners, he would have called them crazy.

Their circumstances in their pairing were confidential that even the gossip corp in the Jaeger program did not know. It was listed as Top Secret Marshall-Eyes-Only. Only a select few in Jaeger Academy Class 2016-A knew half of the story – at least the Kallen half. Suzaku talked about it only once, with Lelouch, before they made a vow to leave the circumstances alone. The only thing he could speculate on was that he was amazed that Kallen and Gino were able to Drift together after everything.

And with Gino hinting that it was easy for him to break from his Drift partner and move to a different one; it piqued Suzaku's curiosity. The Knight of Three was always an oddity in the years that he knew him. Gino wore his emotions on his sleeve, presenting a cheerful face to everyone and everything. It was a direct contrast to the man's fighting style. He was absolutely ruthless in the Jaeger, both in Striker Eureka and Lucky Seven. There was an edge of sadism in his kaiju kills, even wounding them. He was also one of the very few who was a Knight of the Round before he joined the Ranger Corps; part of the fabled class of 2015-B – the second class of Rangers to graduate. 2015-A was the inaugural class who pioneered the Jaeger Academy. But it was 2015-B that refined the curriculum that allowed civilians like himself of 2016-A to try their luck.

Suzaku let his musings fade into the back of his mind as he started to stretch and warm up. He felt a little stiff and sore, mostly from the helicopter ride than anything else. Each morning before he went on shift to work on the wall, he would take at least an hour to stretch, warm up and do some light katas. It helped his agility, nimbleness and endurance to work so high up and in harsh conditions. While Jaeger bushido would never fade away from his mind – too ingrained to forget the movements – his katas along the wall were of a more traditional Japanese kenjutsu. He had no sword or shinai, but made do with an imaginary one for the most part.

He finished stretching, feeling a little more limbered, his muscles lighter. He fell into a stance and closed his eyes, imaging the weight of a sword in his hands-

“Hey!” Gino's voice made him snap his eyes open in time to catch a shortened bo thrown at him.

“Thanks,” he called back before falling back into his stance. The staff felt good in his hands. A little thinner than a shinai or bokken, nonetheless, it gave him at least something to balance himself with as he went through a series of katas. All that would have completed it was if he was wearing his traditional hakama and gi. But those were long gone, having been discarded or lost in the last five years.

Out of the corner of his eye as he went through his katas, he saw Kallen finishing up with her stretches before she took the short bo and started to run through a more karate-style series of katas. Each Jaeger pilot was expected to learn a host of martial disciplines, mastering none, but able to mix each one up. Some of them came in with martial arts experiences, while others picked up the eclectic mix. But all were expected to follow and complete all forty-eight Jaeger bushido katas.

Near her, Gino took a corner of the room and went through a series of traditional lunges using his bo as a lance and fencing sword of sorts. Gino's Knightmare frame, the variable-class Knightmare named Tristan, was a formidable machine when in combat. It had been part of their study on Jaeger tech, built with aid from Knightmare frame technology, that Suzaku knew Gino was a very capable pilot outside of a Jaeger.

Suzaku was finishing up a kata when Euphie's voice rang across the Kwoon.

“Excuse me.”

The three of them turned to see her step in, sans shoes as she bowed towards them and the mat. Her pink hair was still done up in braids, but they now rested like a bird's nest on top of her head. She was dressed in the traditional sleeveless tee-shirt and sweatpants.

“...Euphie?” Suzaku stared.

She smiled slightly. “I was given permission to test with you Suzaku. Again.”

“Huh...” Suzaku did not know what else to day. He knew his compatibility levels with Euphie back in the Academy days had been strong, but they only reached about seventy percent for three days straight before it was declared a failure. They just could not get the rating any higher than seventy no matter what they tried. The two of them had been rather embarrassed by the whole thing, especially when news of it leaked out to the press. It was also one of the few times he had ever seen Cornelia furious and while she came mostly to her little sister's defense, he was glad that Euphie had family to lean on back then.

She smiled sheepishly. “Who knows, maybe it'll be better this time around!”

He could only nod and leave her to her privacy as she began her own warm-ups. He took the opportunity to strip out of his jacket, letting the cool air of the Kwoon cool his warm skin. He felt sufficiently warmed up enough that the jacket was now more of a hindrance than actually keeping him warm.

“...Is that...” Euphie spoke up quietly as she finished her stretches.

He followed her line of sight and saw that she was staring at the puckered skin, twin parallel curves that were seared into his left shoulder and down his arm. There were some on the back where his left shoulder blade was and two more down his left pectoral muscles. “Drivesuit burn marks. Courtesy of getting an arm ripped off,” he stated and she nodded.

“Sorry for asking,” she murmured, turning away and starting her own series of katas. They were the traditional Jaeger bushido ones. Euphie was one of the many in their graduating class that had not know any style of combat when she enrolled in the Academy, but she picked it up quickly. She wasn't the best, but neither was she the worse.

He turned away to leave her be and at the same time caught Kallen quickly looking away. Had she also been looking at the burn marks? Ignoring her, he settled himself into more stretches, noting that it was nearly 0600, the time for the testing. He stood up, twirling the bo in his hand a few times as he moved to take his position. The three others did the same as precise footsteps entered the Kwoon. All four of them bowed to Marshal Tohdoh who walked in.

Zero followed behind Tohdoh as expected, clipboard in hand. However, behind Zero, he caught a flash of long green hair and amber-gold eyes. But before he could even see who it was, Zero moved to stand next to Tohdoh, deliberately blocking his sight.

The man stared at him through his opaque helmet, as if daring him to voice his thoughts. Suzaku frowned and returned the sightless gaze with a steady one of his own. Two could play this game and he would not stoop to whatever annoyances Zero had set out for him. What he learned about Zero through Euphie and Gino's words...he still did not know if he could actually trust the man, but he did silently acknowledge that there was trust among the others. He would trust them to trust him...for now.

“Ranger Kururugi, are you ready?” Tohdoh asked formally.

“Sir, yes sir,” he replied. He gave one short bow to his former sensei, even though it was not warranted, before turning around and facing his first opponent.

Euphie stepped up to the mat, bo staff held from right shoulder down to left hip. Her leg was extended to her side in a ready stance, her eyes set and sure. Suzaku settled himself and lunged into his own sword-ready stance.

“Remember, this is not a fight, but a dialogue,” Tohdoh intoned. “One point to the winner with each finishing move. We stop at four.

“Begin.”

A second later, they clashed.


	8. Chapter 8

“Control, more control, Kururugi-san,” Tohdoh's voice barked across the Kwoon. Suzaku tightened his grip on his staff, steadying his swing towards Gino, echoing his sensei's words. He had slipped right before the swing, his stance and lunge too messy, too wide. It had been easily knocked aside allowing Gino to score a point. The other Ranger dodged the swing and shuffled forward, stabbing twice with the end of the bo.

Suzaku twisted out of the path of the double jab, kicking up his leg in a distraction before bending it as it hit the ground. He pivoted to lash with his weapon like a very stiff whip. Gino yelped and dodged the blow by just a hair, a tight grin on his face, but Suzaku was already moving. He flash-stepped twice and immediately sent his bo up towards Gino's chin, stopping just before it impacted the man's fair skin.

“Four-two,” Zero's voice reverberated all over the Kwoon and Suzaku stepped back, holding himself in a loose stance as he bowed towards Gino for a well-fought fight.

The blond-haired man acknowledged it with his own small bow and the return of a cheeky grin. Sweat beaded his brow and Gino stepped away from the mat, accepting a towel thrown by Euphie who stood on the edges of the crowd, leaning on her own bo staff like a crutch.

The crowd was modestly small, located on the opposite side of the open Kwoon. It contained some of Gipsy's technical crew, curious as to who would be chosen from the three candidates. They had been joined by the other Jaeger pilots and a few of their staff. Most had solemn expressions on their faces, politely clapping at each point scored by any of the fighters. They understood the seriousness of finding a Drift compatible partner, but he caught brief glimpses of more human expressions of winces and impressed looks on their faces with some of the more vicious blows that he and Gino had fought with than when he and Euphie had fought.

Euphie had retired four to one, a little pink in her cheeks, but nonetheless humbly accepting that once again, the two of them weren't just that Drift compatible. He knew it would not break their cherished friendship, nor would it affect the love and affection he had for her and vice versa, but it still stung him a little that even now, after everything, he was not that Drift compatible with her.

Now with Gino at least making it to two points, it was interesting. It told Suzaku that they were marginally Drift compatible, but perhaps Gino was not being so truthful in his words earlier. Maybe he didn't want to give up piloting Striker Eureka, or maybe it wasn't as easy to break from a partner to join a new one. Suzaku didn't know, but it was clear that Gino had reservations.

Suzaku took the moment's pause to towel himself and drink some water for re-hydration. He never fought Gino in hand-to-hand and had experienced the ruthlessness only seen in a Jaeger. There were moves that he barely recognized, sneaky ones, but designed to eviscerate an opponent in the most painful way possible. Nothing was off limits to the blond-haired Britannian. It was almost like a psychological warfare being fought at the same time a physical one. He wondered where Gino learned that as the Knight of Three. He knew the man served briefly on the front lines of Britannian's war against European United before a ceasefire was called in wake of the kaiju emerging from the seas and a plan of action to come together to all build Jaegers. Maybe it was that type of combat experience that drove him to fight the way he fought.

Wiping his face one more time, he discarded the towel and stepped back onto the mat as Kallen stepped up. She held her bo in a reverse grip with her right hand, letting it lean loosely against her shoulder blade. Her stance was open and at rest. It was not remotely an opening stance, but Suzaku could see the beauty in it. It allowed for a snapping movement to deflect any attack before countering. He set himself into an opening lunge stance. His bo was firmly held before him, point parallel with his bent right knee, the point mirroring his left leg extended back.

He stared at her, waiting for the moment for the first move-

She flicked her wrist, her bo shooting in a sweeping upward move and Suzaku immediately countered by stepping back, bringing his feet together then extending it back before he seemingly 'sheathed' his bo into his left hip and hovered his right hand near the end of the staff, turning the bo into a Japanese katana.

She smiled tightly, her blue eyes still chipped and angry, as she fell into a stance where her feet were parallel to each other, staff held away from her body in a horizontal grip. There was a moment passed by a single breath before she launched into a flurry of action.

Suzaku immediately drew the staff, letting the piece of wood fly, cutting an arc across where Kallen leapt into. But she ducked underneath, sliding on her knees and legs, rolling up towards Suzaku as she swiped her bo across him. He danced two steps back, shortening his grip to quickly bring it down upon her head and stopped just before it would hit her.

“One point,” Zero sounded smugly pleased.

Kallen's eyes flashed before she struck upwards with her bo with a strength that surprised Suzaku, throwing him off balance- And he froze, the point of her staff pointed in between his eyes.

“One point to Kallen,” the smugness was gone, replaced by a slightly impressed tone.

Suzaku smiled tightly, mirroring Kallen's feral grin. He saw the slight movement of her taking a step back to study him and in that second, moved, suddenly lashing out with his leg in a spinning kick that sent her to the ground. He shuffled forward, bending his knee into a lock against her legs and throwing his weight on her before jabbing his bo towards her like a spear.

“Cheater!” she spat out as he stopped his momentum just as the end of the staff nearly touched her forehead. He snorted at her accusation.

“Two to Ranger Kururugi,” Zero stated, his voice oddly neutral. There were some murmurs and chuckles, but no agreements with Kallen's shout. Technically, it was cheating, but when it came to Ranger pairs, it was a way to find out if people were compatible. He learned very quickly when he first sparred with Lelouch that his friend was a very dirty, adaptive and unconventional fighter.

Kallen growled under her breath as he lifted his knee to break the lock on her legs and allow her to regain her footing- Only to suddenly find himself flat on his back as she leveraged her momentum and sent him flat onto his back with two hits.

“Two-two,” Zero's voice was barely heard over the din of the murmurs that grew. The crowd was getting a lot more animated now, the fight closer than any of the others. Still Suzaku eyed the end of the staff that was pointed at his chest. He flicked a look up to Kallen who met his gaze with a narrowed-eyed one of her own. She was silently challenging him, that if he was going to cheat, then she would too.

He decided then and knocked her staff aside before scissoring his legs in a wide arc, flinging himself up by momentum just as she rolled back. They both launched their staffs at each other and like a slow motion train wreck, he saw where she was aiming for-

“ _I got this!” Suzaku shouted as he cranked up the plasmacaster._

_The kaiju bastard roared and to their surprise, suddenly made a move to grab the gun on the left hand, forcing it down-_

_ Surprise flitted through their thoughts –  _ how the fuck-?!

_ And the next thing they knew was an incredible pain ripping through his-their-shoulder. Tearing away at muscle, his joints seizing up and he screamed. Distantly, his mind was yelling at him that it wasn't real, that it wasn't real. But the fuck did it know that it felt fucking real that this feedback, that his arm had been severed- It burned-  _ Holy fucking shit it burned!  _ He couldn't, they needed that- The plasma- _

Something in Suzaku snapped as he felt the barest pressure of the bo staff landing on his left shoulder, right where the drivesuit's wiring burned their feedback into him. All he saw was white, a hazy sensation overtaking him, Knifehead's roars, Lelouch's screams-his screams-

He couldn't quite comprehend what he was doing. All he knew was that he needed to defeat the kaiju. He couldn't and wouldn't allow it to hurt him anymore and swung at the kaiju's neck-

“Suzaku STOP!”

Zero's command reverberated in his mind, in his ears. He instantly obeyed, freezing every inch of his muscles and blinked, coming out of his fugue. A blink of his eye revealed that he was centimeters, no millimeters, from taking Kallen's head clean off of her neck. His bo staff hovered just below her ear, kissing strands of her red hair. Her eyes were wide, staring at him with a mix of fear and resignation. He found his breath ragged, sweat pouring down his chest and back, staining the clothing with dark spots.

Suzaku blinked a second time before his hands opened up and he dropped the staff, its loud clatter on the mat making both he and Kallen flinch. What had he- He almost- He blinked again. This was wrong. This had been all wrong. He should not have come back.

He immediately step back, shame filling him as he realized he nearly killed Kallen. He was supposed to have more control over himself and he had lost it completely when she had aimed for his wound. Bowing to Kallen, he hastily exited the mat and making his perfunctory bow of respect towards the Kwoon. He did not even bother grabbing anything as he fled, closing his ears to the shouts of the others.

He fled, down the halls towards the only sanctuary he knew. He should not have come back.

* * *

Princess Euphemia li Britannia wasted no time chasing after Zero. She ignored the gaze of a few of the Jaeger pilots eyes on her as she left. She was well aware of her reputation in the Shatterdomes as a peacekeeper, but also as an unofficial ambassador between the nigh-untouchable Britannian royal family and the countries that used to fight them until kaiju started spilling out of the Pacific Ocean.

However, while she cultivated that particular air, she knew that her influence only went so far – mostly to Cornelia. Outside of the Shatterdomes, especially in the royal court of Pendragon, she was a black sheep; having openly defied the wishes of the family to join with those they considered to be mere commoners and lesser nobles. Like her older brother before her, she ignored the whispers and rumors. Most of it were of illicit affairs – especially those concerning Suzaku – blackmail and speculation about why she defied the royal family. Everyone in the Britannian line knew very well why Lelouch renounced his claim, but for her to follow in his footsteps with open defiance and not even renouncing her claim – they spoke as if she was trying to have her cake and eat it too.

What the nobles also whispered about was the puzzlement as to why the Emperor did not strip her of her title and status like he had with Lelouch. They then spread more rumors that she was incompetent, that she was a woman and the Emperor kept her title as perhaps a court jester, as a cosmic joke and punishment. Euphie too, did not know why her father was so lenient, but she supposed there was some kindness in being ignored by him. It was mostly Cornelia, at the behest of her smothering worry at times, that kept asking her to return to the fold, to leave the commoners behind. To return to her rightful place. She even roped Schneizel in once, but that particular phone call had been shut down rather quickly and the last she heard was Schneizel telling Cornelia not to waste his time even for a beloved baby sister.

So Euphie turned her status into her advantage, pushing the metaphoric envelope as far as she could – helping and using her influence, title and status for the other Shatterdomes, for Gipsy Danger and for the Kaiju War. She knew war did not discriminate – Jaeger Academy taught her that. Lelouch and Trespasser cemented her commitment.

And she also understood why the Knight of Three, Gino Weinberg had been stationed in Shatterdomes close to where Gipsy Danger operated for four years. Not an outright partnership, but it was a way to keep an eye on her. Gino admitted to her that he and his Drift partner in Lucky Seven had been requested by Cornelia to watch over her, be her guardian. Cornelia had followed that conversation up with a call for Euphie to pick someone to be her Knight of Honor, affording her even more protection. She refused.

She supposed she was lucky that Gino was so easily distracted and even seemed to be on her side for the most part. She knew for a fact that even though he was supposed to report all of her activities to their father and to Cornelia, he did not. A sign of trust that always warmed her. He reported enough to his handlers to ensure that her other activities were not noticed.

But there was also the fact that she knew Gino's history and the scars he bore. They were not stories she would ever tell anyone, but she also knew that he was grateful for her understanding and care during the rough time he spent when he transitioned from Lucky Seven to Striker Eureka. He found a good partner in Kallen Kouzuki, and she was happy for them. Though she initially had to deflect Kallen's wariness, she also knew that Kallen understood the bond between the two of them.

So when Suzaku fled the Kwoon, ignoring the shout of his name from Tohdoh, she was already chasing after Zero who left in the opposite direction. An unspoken nod to Gino had him immediately moving to take care of his partner and usher the others out. She left the Kwoon, headed directly to the person responsible for this mess.

She cornered Zero just outside, stopping him by overtaking his long strides with her own nimble ones. Tohdoh was already moving down the hall, intent on seeking out Suzaku. The Marshal's shoulders were slumped, but his back was ramrod straight.

“Don't bother C.C.,” she called out to the green-haired woman who decided to make an appearance today, shadowing Zero's steps.

“I wasn't going to, Your Highness,” C.C. bowed her head slightly as she took a half step into the harsh lights of the Shatterdome hallway. “You seem to be handling the situation quite well.”

“Shut up, witch,” Zero hissed looking at her through his opaque helmet. He attempted to step around Euphie, but she was quick, stopping him by planting herself in front of his path again.

“And you,” she poked Zero in the chest. They were nearly the same height, she about an inch shorter. “After the stunt you pulled-”

“I didn't go about nearly beheading Ranger Kouzuki,” Zero replied, but there was a strain in his voice.

“Neither did you anticipate Suzaku going berserk,” Euphie pressed harder, “in fact, you were the one to pull him out of it. Or did you forget in the few minutes since you've left?”

“So?” She could almost imagine the expressions behind the mask and shook her head.

“Oh no, you don't get to wiggle your way out of this mess,  _ Zero _ ,” she emphasized his name. She wanted to call him by his real name so much, to call him both out on the anguish and the lies he had been wrapping himself in for the last few years; at the same time to let him know that he didn't need to hide behind the mask, the cape and the dramatic getup he clothed himself in. But she restrained herself. The threats to his life – what she had told Suzaku – they had been real. It was too risky, even though she ached deep in her bones to defy it.

“What mess? It's clear that Ranger Kouzuki is Drift compatible with him,” Zero looked down at her.

“Uh huh,” she poked harder, forcing him to take a half-step back, “but only four to three. Drift compatibility through combat is determined by the opposite. Three to four or two to three win. Not one of us were good enough to achieve that.”

Zero was silent.

“If you're so worried about him, why don't  _ you _ try your hand?” She laughed, a bitter sound. “No? Too afraid? Too scared of going down that path? You're a coward, Zero. You don't want to face it,  _ face him _ , so you want to attempt to foist the responsibility on someone else-”

“He needs someone that can work with him-”

“And why the hell can't it be you?!”

Zero was silent for a long moment. Finally, he shook his head. “My life is already in too much danger. I won't jeopardize him,  _ or anyone else _ , or this godforsaken war for your childish whims.”

“Childish?!”

“Childish,” he returned. She could almost imagine a sneer under the helmet. “You live in a fantasy world, Princess, where you want things to be the same as they were. Well, here's a fucking reality check. We're not in that world anymore. It got destroyed five years ago when kaijus started ripping apart Jaegers because they got smarter. We didn't. We got dumber.

“We're fighting a goddamn war here and just because you harbor such notions means you've lived in your castle for so long that it's  _ you _ that doesn't see reality. We're about to lose this fucking war. And I'm trying to save us from that loss.”

He suddenly stepped back and displaying the same nimbleness as she had, turned to walk away, his cape dramatically billowing behind him. “Go back home to Pendragon, Princess Euphemia li Britannia,” he called back, his voice dripping with contempt. “You certainly don't belong here if you're going to be like this.”

Euphie watched him leave, stunned. She barely saw C.C. emerging from the shadows, catching up and latching herself onto his arm. She felt hurt, the pain of his words stinging her. She had never heard him speak in such a manner, to herself or to anyone else. Blinking back tears, she forced herself to not cry. It was not for her own hurt feelings, but because she  _ heard _ the pain in his words.

She squared her shoulders and stared at where he had turned the corner and disappeared. She was not going to let his words get to her. “I'm not giving up on you Zero. Even though you've given up on everything and everyone else,” she declared softly.

* * *

Suzaku sat on the edge of the couch, trying not to fidget as the nurse who led him in said that the doctor would be in shortly after attending to a matter. The office was rather spartan, with the same faded rust, concrete and brown colors as the rest of the Shatterdome. But there were hints that a person lived in it from time to time. A small green vine plant climbed up on the wall, surprisingly alive when there was no sunlight nor windows. Books on anatomy, psychology and even on mechanical design lined two shelves. Small models of similar subject matter decorated sections of shelves. The couch itself was a warm leather soft and inviting, comfortable enough that one could sink into it and relax.

However, he did not relax, too on edge since he fled the Kwoon and reported to the J-Tech scientist wing and more specifically asked to see the base psychologist. Most Jaeger pilots had their own J-Psychs, but he didn't know what happened to Gipsy's in the aftermath of Knifehead. Each Ranger was mandated to go through psychological sessions to both help them adapt to the Pons and the Drift, but also through post-combat Drift sensations and feelings.

Many of them were also available as counselors, especially grief counselors. The stigma, especially in Asian countries, was heavy that psychological problems and mental health was just not a thing to talk about. Jaeger Academy and subsequent Drifting broke through that habit and taboo very quickly. They needed them. Otherwise, they couldn't get their heads on straight enough to Drift with each other. There was no shame and Suzaku knew he would not be shunned in trying to get his head on straight after what happened in the Kwoon.

The only thing he was nervous about – was that it impacted his ability to successfully Drift. Kallen's attack was a natural one; one anyone would exploit if they even got a whiff of what was the history behind it. He would have done the same. He was more afraid of the fugue he had found himself in; the loss of control, the avalanche of memories. All dangerous things to be bringing into the Drift. A RABIT in the middle of a combat Drift would have dangerous consequences for the Jaeger, the pilots and those they were trying to protect.

He fidgeted again and sat up as he heard the door open. He blinked as he saw none other than Dr. Croomy stepping in.

“Oh,” she smiled. “Suzaku.”

“D-Dr. Croomy...” Suzaku made to stand up, but the woman waved a hand for him to sit back down. “I...thought-”

“Multi-disciplined doctor,” she shrugged before gesturing towards the wall of frames. What he had initially mistaken them for random assortment of photos of famous persons, was actually labeled with universities underneath them. He realized that these probably contained her degrees and instead of showcasing the whole letterhead and declaration, she just showed famous people who had those degrees and labeled it with the university she got them from. “I deal in psychology, basic nursing and aid, but am mostly an engineer. I was helping Dr. Lloyd with testing a Knightmare frame he's been tinkering with before I was paged here.”

“K-Knightmare frame?”

“Yes,” she smiled and handed him what looked like a USB stick. He realized it was a devicer. “Actually, the doctor was hoping that maybe if you weren't too busy, you'd come and help test out the latest model he's built. It's a prototype Knightmare frame. None of the other Jaeger pilots, even Lord Weinberg, can pilot the damn thing. My poor Lancelot...”

“W-What...but-”

“We don't expect it to get any use until we close the Breach, but it's something I know Zero is hoping we finish and get a few more tested and produced before Operation Pitfall is enacted. When you have the time...” she finished with a smile.

He pocketed the devicer a little more than bewildered. She continued to smile at him, and for a second, Suzaku thought she was about to sit down and start the session before she sighed and leaned against her desk. “The Marshal wants to talk to you if you feel up to it. If not, we can do a more traditional session.”

Suzaku blinked before he looked down. “He told you what happened?”

“No,” she replied and his head shot up, surprised. “But it's not hard to speculate.”

Suzaku looked away.

“Talk with him, Suzaku. As I remember, he used to be your...sen-sei...was the term for it?”

“ _ Sensei _ ,” he confirmed. “It's Japanese for mentor, teacher, something like that.” Technically sensei was the generalized term and would do for Tohdoh, but not only was Tohdoh his teacher, but also his instructor in kenjutsu. If he were to use Tohdoh's kenjutus rank, it would be a different word that still held the same meaning.

“It's a very lovely word. Rolls off your tongue nicely.” She said, “Will you talk with him?”

Suzaku let out a ragged breath before nodding his assent silently. Her smile grew a little wider and she pushed off from the desk before opening the door. “He's ready for you, Marshal,” she called out before her footsteps echoed away and were replaced by Tohdoh's heavier footsteps. Suzaku didn't look up as he heard the door close behind Tohdoh, watching as the man's feet took him to opposite him. The sound of a chair was dragged over and Tohdoh sat down. It was only then that Suzaku finally summoned the courage to look up at his old mentor and teacher's face.

“How are you feeling?” Tohdoh asked, his expression neutral, but his eyes searching.

“How do you think?” Suzaku could barely meet his gaze.

“That's not the question I asked, Kururugi.”

Suzaku pressed his lips together and looked away. He laced his hands together and rested them on his thighs. “Awful. Confused. Scared. Terrified. Angry. Furious. Is...is she all right?”

“Ranger Kouzuki suffered no injury,” Tohdoh replied. Suzaku grimaced, his hands tightening against his thighs.

“ _ Sumimasen, sensei _ ,” he said quietly. “I lost control.” Tohdoh was silent and Suzaku was familiar with the man's silence enough to continue. “It shouldn't have happened. I...I let old memories get the best of me. I...chased the RABIT where I should have had more control, more discipline.” He took a deep breath. “It was unbecoming conduct of a Ranger and I will accept your judgment without reservations.”

“Including another resignation?” Tohdoh asked, his voice neutral and Suzaku stiffened.

“If it came to that, yes.”

“Running away again, are we?” Tohdoh asked sharply.

Suzaku looked up to see his mentor with a flinty look in his eye and lowered his gaze again. “I...sir...” He swallowed and licked his lips. “I...believe in the cause sir. I...believe in not running away...this time.”

“This time.”

He twitched. “What...what would you have me do, sir?” he asked quietly.

“Take responsibility,” Tohdoh's voice was tight with emotion and Suzaku looked up to see the flinty look boring into him.

“S-Sir-”

“Acknowledge your flaws, take responsibility and own up to your mistakes. I do not see a Ranger I personally trained here. I see a scared, shattered coward who came back because he had a death wish. That he wanted to die in a Jaeger. Easy to do, but such selfishness should not even have given that thought life. That he could not and would not own up to the tragedy that ripped his world apart five years ago. That he has allowed himself to fall so far to become a puppet. Taking orders by rote with no comprehension behind it.” The Marshal scoffed. “But I can only say such words. I can only order it so. There is no honor in that nor is there an actual responsibility in such baseless platitudes.”

Suzaku flinched. He opened his mouth to form words, but nothing would come out. Was that how he was seen by the others? Was that how Tohdoh saw him? He thought back on Kallen's words and winced. There was no doubt she saw him like that. Did the others...?

Euphie... Did Euphie see him like that? Scared, cowardly; but she had cried when she saw him and he had rebuffed her attempts at a friendship, caving in only after he saw Nunnally; lived in Lelouch's memories of his beloved sister; remembered the times they shared and the feeling of affection.

Gino...what did Gino see? Maybe it wasn't Gino who had reservations but it was himself. Or did Gino did have the reservations because he also saw him like how Kallen and Tohdoh saw him? He felt so small...

What was he even doing here? He had taken Mackie's words to heart – that it was better to die in a Jaeger than building a damn wall that kaiju could break through. But did he really want to do that? Did he really want to after all that happened?

“ _Suzaku, listen to me-!”_

Lelouch's last words haunted him. Echoed in him. He knew the thoughts that followed thereafter, the pain, surprise, and then the sudden snap of the link between them, leaving him so blind, groping after something he knew did not exist. It left him hanging as he felt death. He wanted to leap after it – he  _ yearned _ for it.

“S-Sensei...” he croaked out, finding it suddenly hard to speak as he brought forth the unpleasant memory of the aftermath. It hurt. He had screamed his throat raw. He had screamed his voice until there was none left. Everything was a hazy fog with little to no clarity. And now...it felt like someone had clawed open the wound that had never healed. It would probably never heal; a putrid mess of a thing. “I...”

“ _Suzaku, listen to me-!”_

“Sensei....I...didn't ask to resign, did I?” He forced himself to say the words; to confront the truth.

Tohdoh was silent for a long time before he shifted a little in the chair. “No.”

Suzaku nodded quietly, falling silent as he knew his answer then. He opened his mouth for a second before closing it. He wanted to say that he saw, but the words would not come. There was no need for them now. Now that he knew the truth, the reality. He had been perpetuating his own lie all this time. Because he couldn't face it. Though the conversation was still rather hazy in his mind, he vaguely remembered the flippant words said, to cover his own denial and the lie he perpetuated to himself. That he buried and burned in his mind to block the painfulness of the aftermath.

He _was_ a coward.

“ _Suzaku, listen to me-!”_

_ There was nothing else said as a dying scream filled the air and keenly echoed in his mind before it  _ snapped  _ leaving a sudden void- _

**NO! Lelouch! LELOUCH! NO!**

_He kept screaming his name, rage, sorrow, denial filling him. Lelouch wasn't dead! He couldn't be dead! NO, he roared echoing Trespasser's roar at the same time. I won't believe it! All he could see, all he could hear was Lelouch's voice echoing in his head. He knew he had to-they had to finish it. That he couldn't live without him- That he could_ feel  _Lelouch's thoughts right before he felt nothing from him. Where was he? He was just here- He couldn't- They couldn't-_

_**Lelouch where are you?! Come back! NO! COME BACK! I can't- We can't- I-** _

_**Suzaku, listen to me, you have to live, you have to liveforthebothofus. You have to live so that someone can tell our story. You have to move on. You have to love. You have to live. Live Suzaku, just live! I command it! Liveforthebothofus.Iloveyou.** _

_Instinct took over now, as he could feel his mind straining with transferring the cannon controls over. He had to do it. Lelouch would have wanted him to. He would finish this, and then maybe, maybe he would be able to see him after. After he just ended this- All he had to do was crank it once, the charge building- He yelled, his cries echoing as Trespasser roared. He would be able to join Lelouch after this. After this...after- **FIRE!**_

Suzaku looked up at Tohdoh, tears falling down his face.

“I...wanted to die,” he whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

The weight on his chest was heavy, but there was something comforting about it as Suzaku slowly blinked his eyes open.

“Mrow?”

He blinked his eyes again, his gaze focusing to the solid weight on his chest as it resolved itself into the curious gaze of a very familiar looking dusky, dark grey cat with a black patch over his right eye.

“A-Arthur?” Suzaku croaked, staring at the feline.

“Mrow?”

The cat tilted his head before it began to lick a paw while still curled up on him. He could feel the tiny sharp claws digging into his chest, not quite tearing through the layer of blanket and tee-shirt he wore underneath, but enough that he could feel the pressure. He gingerly sat up, Arthur stopping and immediately jumping off from his chest to his side. An unbidden smile appeared on Suzaku's face as he felt the cat rub against him affectionately before hopping off of the bed and wandering over to the chair next to his bed. The cat hopped up to the lap of the person that had apparently stayed by his bedside.

Euphie's hair was a mess now, the intricate braids she had undone at some parts and spilling over her shoulder enough for Arthur to absently paw at it. She was resting her cheek on a fist, and a slight bit of drool was escaping her half-opened mouth, but she seemed to be deeply asleep. He hadn't the heart to wake her considering he was feeling a little tired and worn out himself.

He looked around the section of the medical bay he had been put into after he had confessed to Tohdoh that he had been suicidal after Knifehead. He understood now that somewhere in the throes of grief and of the trauma, he had become deluded with false memories. Dr. Croomy had explained later that it was a coping mechanism, trying to forget the more painful parts, forgetting Lelouch's last thoughts and wishes sent in the second before their connection snapped. His mind, unable to comprehend, made up the falsified memory that he had resigned.

Shame had filled him at that realization. That he had forgotten his lover's request. That all but denied it in his grief.

When asked if he still harbored the same suicidal ideations, he had replied that he was not sure, but that he understood Lelouch's last words and thoughts to him – to live for the both of them. That he had run away from that responsibility because he couldn't face his loss. That he was in denial and running away from his problems and was a hypocrite who tried to hide. Nothing but a coward. Tohdoh requested he stay in the medical bay for the rest of the day and overnight for observation.

There was perhaps a time where Suzaku would have once been embarrassed at both such a confession and order, but this was not the time anymore. The fact that it came from Tohdoh, a man that he looked up to as a father-figure more than he had his own father Genbu... He was both grateful and shamed that it had to come to that. How could he have forgotten? He supposed he might have subconsciously remembered Lelouch's command as he did not kill himself in the five years since leaving the Jaeger Program, but neither did he live for the two of them. He had just went through the motions of living. To some, perhaps that was enough after such a loss. But Suzaku could feel the part of him that drew upon Lelouch's strength bristle. Had he suppressed it for so long?

Footsteps coming closer drew him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see the privacy curtain drawn back a little to reveal the last person he expected to visit. Akito Hyuga stopped, also surprised that he was awake. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Akito moved to Euphie's side and gently shook her shoulder.

“Princess,” he said softly.

Euphie grunted quietly before blinking awake. She immediately winced and blushed at the same time when she realized she had a bit of drool and hastily wiped it with the sleeve of her coverall. “W-Wha...oh, Akito?”

Suzaku knew he should not be mildly surprised to hear Euphie refer to the Ranger by his first name considering she was so personable with everyone.

“The mechanics have a few more questions they need your expertise about regarding Gipsy Danger's final preparations,” Akito said softly.

“A-All right...” Euphie yawned and stretched, Arthur jumping from her lap to the ground to get away from her arms. “Oh...Suzaku you're awake.”

“Just so,” he shrugged. “Don't worry about me-”

“But-”

Arthur took the moment to jump back onto his bed and curl up on his stomach, a nice warm spot. Suzaku caught Euphie's eye and the two of the smiled at the familiar gesture from the older cat.

“I'll stay, Princess,” Akito cut in and both looked at the blue-haired pilot. He shrugged, taking the seat Euphie vacated.

Euphie smiled. “Thank you. I'll be back soon.” She left, closing the curtains behind him and leaving the two of them alone.

Arthur yawned, stretching for a moment, his claws digging slightly into the thin thermal blankets before kneading them and settling back down. Suzaku lifted a hand to pet the cat, but hesitated as he wondered if he was going to get bitten for his troubles.

“Considering your luck with cats, I wouldn't,” Akito murmured and Suzaku glanced at the other Ranger.

“True,” he admitted. He lowered his hand, letting it rest on top of his blankets, near Arthur, but not close enough for the cat to consider biting. “I'm glad someone took care of Arthur while I was...”

“On walkabout,” Akito supplied. Suzaku glanced at him and the other man shrugged. “Leila...suggested I come talk with you.”

“Oh.”

“I've...experience with something similar,” the Ranger's voice was soft, guarded, almost monotonous. His expression could have been carved from stone, giving not even a hint of what he was feeling, but Suzaku knew it was not the case. Akito kept a strict lid on his emotional state to the point where it was his eyes that held the most expression and they were sorrowful now.

The blue-haired Ranger crossed his arms across his chest. “I was part of a military unit called W-Zero in the European United army. It comprised of Leila and most of our current support crew.”

“W-Zero?” Suzaku never heard of the unit.

“Special Operations,” Akito replied a little flatly. “Suicide missions if you want a more accurate description.”

Suzaku blinked, a little surprised, but considering what he knew about Akito, he knew he should not be. What was surprising was that Leila, of all people, headed such an operation. He opened his mouth to ask how Akito's wife could lead it before the other man spoke up.

“Leila created W-Zero herself. Her way of attempting to stem the death toll of those of us who volunteered to give our families better lives. Some may say it was misguided in ways, but she attempted to mitigate the losses with strategy. The higher ups decided we were cannon fodder so it didn't matter considering the impossible circumstances we were always thrown into.”

“On our last mission before a cease fire was called and the UFN's request for all countries to help build Jaegers to defeat the kaiju, we had a ninety-percent loss of our unit of ten operatives. I was its only survivor,” Akito's voice was so calm as if he was just blandly talking about the weather. “We had just finished recruiting – well, stopping Ryo, Yukiya and Ayano from assassinating General Smilas – when W-Zero was tasked to join the Jaeger Academy class of 2015-A to test and stop the kaiju. We were experiments in that inaugural class. The brass thought we would die for the sake of science instead of fighting against Britannians.”

His eyes glittered with a raw emotion Suzaku couldn't identify. “They didn't expect Leila and myself to come out on top and be one of the first successful Ranger pairs.” The other man fell silent for a few seconds before looking down at his hands. “Truth is, we are probably one of the few very unstable pairs.”

Suzaku stared. “Come again?”

Akito looked back up. He gestured towards his eyes and there was a flicker of an unnatural red ring around them. It seemingly glowed for a few seconds before fading and then reappearing a few seconds later. It flickered out once more. “I, have a geass, an active and permanent geass.”

“A wha-?”

This time a bitter smile graced Akito's lips. “The technical definition is an obligation or prohibition that is magically imposed upon a person. A command that can never go away, even if it is fulfilled.”

“Magically?”

“Is it hard to comprehend kaiju entering our world from another dimension?”

“Point taken,” Suzaku admitted, but it was still hard to full accept that a 'geass' was magical in nature. Gods, deities, science, religion, philosophy – all upended when alien life was revealed to exist in another dimension and wanted humanity dead. It was where kaiju cultists became popular, nihilism and anarchy following quickly behind; rationing, war efforts, rallying the people to the cause. All of it the new normal. What was a little magic geass compared to the chaos of the end of the world.

“The command given to me was to die,” Akito explained, the red ring around his eyes flashing once more. “I was eight. So, I died.”

Suzaku stared, horrified and amazed at how the words simply tumbled out of the other man's mouth.

“At least I attempted to. My mother gladly gave me the poison pill I wanted. I watched her slit her throat while I ate the pill. The next thing I remember was coming to and went to go find the person that gave me the command. I found my brother, among the masses of of bodies around him. Some died from the poison pill, some with throats slit. One or two had mutually killed each other in traditional _seppuku_.

“My brother saw me, among the bodies. He ordered me to die, again.”

Akito looked at Suzaku. “I didn't.”

Suzaku was mesmerized. There was such a clinical edge in the way Akito was stating things, as if he was not even privy and just relaying a report. But the man's eyes told him the whole story. They flickered red on occasion before returning to their normal dark blue color.

“I was too young to comprehend death. Too young to understand its meaning when the geass was cast upon me. So, I lived after dying.”

“A-And...now?”

“I am far from stable. I feel the urge to end my own life each time this geass activates itself. I want to die, I want it in my whole being because it is something that needs to be done. I know that it is not a rational thought and that I cannot control it, but I also know that can move past it. I force myself to move past it, to live. Leila...Leila helps. I cannot comprehend the loss you've suffered, but I can understand it on some level in which a command is given and you want nothing to do with it.”

“T-The g-geass...it is that strong?”

“Yes,” Akito's eyes returned to their normal color and he seemingly slumped back into the chair a little, exhausted. “One day, I will lose the battle. One day, I will leave Leila alone in the world and I know it'll be a sad day for her. She will grieve, as will others for whatever reason I have no idea why. But I know she will grieve. So I take that knowledge and I live for her each day. To fight that impulse; to fight that command. Because I do not want her to be sad when I pass. That I want her to be happy in the memories we've created. I want her to live, for the both of us.”

_Suzaku, listen to me, you have to live, you have to liveforthebothofus. You have to live so that someone can tell our story. You have to move on. You have to love. You have to live. Live Suzaku, just live! I command it! Liveforthebothofus.Iloveyou._

Suzaku absently reached out and stroked Arthur's fur as the cat sleepily flickered his ears. He moved his hand back, letting it rest near the cat. He looked at Akito. “Thank you. For telling me this.”

The faint smile appeared on the other man's lips. “It's not easy to live under our circumstances, Ranger Kururugi. But if we are to die in this, we should make the most of our lives, so that we can meet our loved ones knowing we did everything we could to fulfill their last requests.”

Suzaku nodded. Lelouch wanted him to live for the two of them. In the moment Knifehead ripped him out, Lelouch knew his end was coming and his last thoughts had been to protect Suzaku, to make sure that he lived. Perhaps they were both selfish in the end.

_I'm sorry for dishonoring your memory, my friend._

* * *

Suzaku was released later in the evening and found his way to Striker Eureka's section of the hanger bay. Arthur was curled up in his arms and surprisingly not in a biting mood. On his way, Suzaku noted that more than one person were looking at him with neutral looks. Whatever happened in the Kwoon probably made the gossip rounds, but he met their gazes squarely, taking Tohdoh's words and the memory of Lelouch's last request to heart. He had to take ownership, had to take responsibility. Akito's talk with him told him that would be a hard step, not so easily switched on and off as much as he wanted to. Each day, each hour, each minute and second was a fight.

And so Suzaku fought.

He was cautiously hailed by some of Striker Eureka's technicians as they worked on calibrating the Jaeger. He returned their greetings, recognizing some to be a part of Gipsy's former crew. Arthur hopped out of his arms and padded over to the technicians, demanding to be petted. He smiled as they obliged the cat's insistence, some of the technicians squealing with delight in return.

One of the approached him with a smile on his face. He absently knelt down to pet Arthur as he threaded through his legs before returning to Suzaku. “Princess J-Tech took care of him after, well-”

“Knifehead,” he supplied, feeling a little easier to name the kaiju that wrecked his life.

“Yeah, Knifehead,” the technician seemed to breathe easier. “She was Striker's J-Tech Chief when Ougi...well...when he was not there.”

“Euphie told me as much,” he replied.

“Ah, well...I guess she's yours now again, right?”

“I suppose,” Suzaku found it easy to talk to the technical crews. “Still need a partner though.”

“Yeah, the Princess is all up over calibrating Gipsy. Which by the way, sorry, I didn't...I couldn't return to fix her after, well-”

“No need to apologize. It's been hard for everyone. I don't blame you for wanting to stay here. Striker is top of the line,” he reassured the technician.

The technician laughed sheepishly. “I do hope that Gipsy doesn't think I'm cheating on her with a male Jaeger.”

“I'll tell her that when I get into the Pons,” he joked lightly, making the two of them laugh.

“So, Suzaku, looking for Gino and Kallen?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “That obvious?”

“Figured considering our Queen was alternating between spitting mad and attempting to not cry her eyes out since she came back from the Kwoon. Please don't tell her I said that, I value my capability to someday have babies a little too much.” The technician rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. “Queen's is probably up in the cockpit. She said she was running through some of the calibrations there. Knight Tristan, I'm not really sure. He said he had to take a call a few minutes ago and left.”

Suzaku was a little amused at the nicknames Striker Eureka's crew had come up with for their pilots. He understood Knight Tristan as a play on Gino's title and his Knightmare frame. “Queen?”

“Zero's been calling her Q-1 since she got into the cockpit,” the technician replied. “Gino said it was a chess term for the Queen piece.”

“Huh,” Suzaku was struck again at how familiar it felt. Lelouch liked using chess terms when planning strategy. He mentioned that his older brother Schneizel used similar terms too, along with the same breath mentioning that Schneizel was the only one whom he never defeated in a chess match.

“Britannians and Europeans love their chess terms. I heard from one of Cherno's techs that Odango, er- Colonel Breisgau likes to use the same thing, though apparently she never uses the P-designations. Pawns, I guess.”

Based on what he knew now from Akito, Suzaku completely understood Leila's reluctance in using such a designation. “You think Zero is Britannian or European?”

“Probably. I mean, my money is more on European than Britannian considering that Britannia hates him, but Queen doesn't think so.”

“Oh?”

“I dunno. You'll have to ask her,” the technician shrugged, “sorry, I gotta get back to work-”

“Don't worry about it. Thanks for letting me know. I'll catch you later.”

“You too.”

He headed up the metal stairs that would take him up to the cockpit level where the pilots entered. Since Striker Eureka was the latest model of Jaegers – a Mark V – the entry to the cockpit was located in a similar manner to the entryway of a space rocket capsule. Gipsy Danger's cockpit was dropped from above in a more controlled manner, a hold over from the Mark I, II and III models. Crimson Typhoon, the first of the Mark IV models had a hybrid system between the Mark V and IIIs. Its head was detachable, but only to facilitate an easier rotational axis and field of vision. Cherno Alpha's cockpit sat below its reactor, so it was technically the first of any Jaeger models to have a cockpit sit on the same metal stairways used to help facilitate repairs on the Jaegers.

He arrived shortly, Arthur following at his heels with curious churrups and pawing at the shinier things before Suzaku peered in. “Kallen?” he called out, not seeing a sign of the redhead.

His eyes tracked towards the sound of typing and he saw that she was further in, surrounded by cables with a hand holding a laptop. “Kallen?” he called again, but she didn't seem to hear him nor turn around. He frowned as he stepped in, waving to Arthur to stay where he was.

The cat sat on his haunches, licking a paw as he waited patiently. Suzaku remembered while Kallen was not allergic to cat hair, she did not like having pet hair shed everywhere in the cockpit of a hundred billion dollar machine. He stepped in, walking gingerly over to her.

“At least you've remembered something,” Kallen suddenly spoke up, her voice rather derisive as she typed on her laptop.

Suzaku stopped. Kallen had heard him. And had been ignoring him.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She snorted, the sounds of her typing loud. He looked around Striker's cockpit, marveling at how new everything looked. There was scratches of paint and signs of wear, but based on what he remembered of Gipsy's cockpit, everything looked shinier, cleaner, more modern. He saw three square pods of sorts, jutting on the side of the cockpit and walked over to them.

“Flares,” Kallen suddenly said just as he reached out to gingerly touch it with a hand. “Don't you fucking dare fire one in here.”

“I'm not that stupid,” he shot back.

“Could've fooled me,” she muttered.

He moved away from that section and instead, examined the harness and rig for the pilots. A frown appeared on his lips as he looked up and down. “H-How...?”

“Fully retractable flooring, similar to Gipsy's except there's no noticeable gap. Gyroscopic motorized magnetic units. Gives him his speed and agility,” Kallen sounded proud. “The flooring retracts to the point where we can manipulate how fast Striker needs to go. The bigger the opening, the faster and harder we can move. The smaller, the less we need to expend. It's all motorized and run through the output and neural interfacing of the Pons. We can think Striker and react faster.”

Suzaku was impressed. “Wow...that's...” He nodded. “You created a masterful weapon here, Kallen.”

“I had help from Rakshata. Just did Pons calibration for reaction time, that's all,” Kallen shrugged. She typed some more. “Why are you here, Kururugi?”

“To understand,” he replied.

“Did freaking the fuck out make you philosophical or something? Or did you hit yourself with the staff on your way out?” She spat. He forced himself not to flinch at her words.

“Seems obvious you wanted something from me?”

“Yeah, to stay out of my fucking way. I'll still drop you like kaiju shit.”

“I think I almost did that first,” he shot back.

“I don't think I'll take too kindly being murdered by a man who's so afraid of his own shadow,” Kallen glared up at him as she finished whatever she was doing. She closed her laptop with a definitive click and started to pull the wires and cabling off of it, rolling them back into their original place with care.

“Seriously, Kallen-”

“Seriously? Wow. We're now on seriously.”

“What the fuck,” Suzaku threw up his hands, thoroughly annoyed by her. “I'm asking you to be straight with me.”

“And I'm telling you that I am straight with you. You've got your head so far up your ass that you don't see it do you?”

“See what?”

Kallen finished her cabling and finally turned around to face him. She was clutching her laptop to her chest. “You're a loose cannon right now. You've always been one. Drifting with Lelouch made it worse. You're unpredictable and that makes you dangerous. You take risks and endanger yourself and your crew. I don't think the Marshal, or Zero for that matter, should have brought you back for this mission. You never took responsibility for your actions. You let others decide for you. That's fucking weak.”

She stared at him with hard eyes.

“It is,” he agreed and she opened her mouth to argue some more before she blinked and stopped.

“It- wait what?”

“Tohdoh gave me the same lecture last night,” Suzaku replied. He sighed as he leaned against the cockpit door to Striker, crossing his arms across his chest. Arthur pawed at the back of his coverall leg, but didn't enter Striker. “And...I wanted to seek you out for that very reason. I...want to know-” He swallowed, the words sticking in his throat. “I want to know about Naoto...about your brother...”

Kallen's eyes flashed as she clutched her laptop tighter to her chest. However, a second later, her blue eyes narrowed to the point of slits. “Did Gino tell you?”

“...Yes...” he replied cautiously.

“Fuck,” she swore. “That fucking piece of- Argh!” She kicked a metal retaining wall of Striker, leaving an impressive dent and a ringing sound before she stared at the piece. “Well, fuck me some more. God dammit!” She immediately went over to the metal retaining wall and pulled it out before checking hastily on the wires with a pen flashlight.

Apparently everything seemed to be in order as she sat back, breathing a sigh of relief and placed the wall back with the dent included. “I'm going to fucking castrate Weinberg.”

“He did say it was the only thing he felt in the Drift when the two of you fought Mutavore.”

“Yeah, well, fuck him,” Kallen spat. “Fucking...” she ran a hand through her red hair and blew out a noisy breath. “After all these years and now you figure you want to ask about my _aniue_?”

“I...know what happened, Kallen. I...we were all there,” Suzaku watched as she paced around Striker's cockpit. “We...didn't know how to act back then, wanted to give you space. And in hindsight...maybe I should have asked you after Knifehead.” He grimaced. “If my brain hadn't been so-”

“Stuck on loss,” Kallen finished for him with a defeated sigh. “Come on, Kururugi. We're hitting the officer's lounge and grabbing the strongest alcohol they've got there. I'm not talking about Naoto sober.”

The officer's lounge was a short walk away from the hanger bay, built close to the bays to host visiting dignitaries back when it was still a thing. Normally there would have been pilots lounging around, but it was empty and Suzaku suspected that all of the pilots were more than likely repairing or overseeing their own Jaegers. All preparing for the upcoming operation.

A small refrigerator full of bottles of various types of alcohol and vintages was in the corner, but when Kallen tried to swipe her ID through, it gave an error and stated that since they were on a Red Alert status, no alcohol would be served.

“Fuck!” she kicked the fridge before stomping over and pouring out two cups of coffee for them instead.

He joined her at the small bar, accepting the mug and sipping it. He normally did not drink the bitter drink, preferring traditional Japanese tea, but for the sake of peace, he would endure what was apparently Kallen's choice of drink. He did not understand why Kallen or Lelouch loved coffee. Even with sugar or milk in it, it still tasted horrid in his opinion.

“Sorry, no tea. Though at least you like matcha and traditional tea. Gino loves the Britannian shit. Flavored tea, gross.”

“Lelouch liked coffee. Don't know why even though he says its for the caffeine boost.”

“You probably have one of those palates that can't taste the flavors in it can you?” Kallen glanced at him, seemingly a little calmer after a few sips.

“Flavors?”

“Take this one for instance. The initial sip has a hint of orange in it. Then it mellows into a jasmine-like flavor and after swallowing, it tastes a little like tart cherries,” she replied. “Ethopian. Specifically Yirgacheffe type. Whomever made this pot, damn those beans cost a fortune now.”

Suzaku sipped his coffee, trying to see if he could taste what Kallen was saying. He shook his head as he swallowed his mouthful. “Sorry...can't taste it,” he replied.

She sighed. “Well...that's one thing we can confirm the Drift doesn't pass along to others. Lelouch and I always talked about coffee whenever we had the chance,” she replied. “Was hoping maybe he passed some of that sophistication onto you.”

Suzaku chuckled lightly. “Nope. Just the fact that at least I can tell pre-package coffee pods taste like shit and pour overs are the best.”

“Because that's the freshness of the grind,” Kallen rolled her eyes before settling in her seat. She tapped her fingers against her mug. It was a few minutes of the tinkling sound before she finally spoke up. “Losing Naoto, felt like losing a limb, for me. I guess...limb isn't the best word for it. It was like losing someone who had always been there, but then you reach out and they sudden disappear.”

She sipped her coffee. “It felt...different. It felt confusing. I'd wake up, expecting Naoto to be there. But then, when I reach out, he wouldn't respond and I couldn't understand why. I asked for him, and when people told me that he was gone, I thought they were lying. That everyone was wearing masks and this was an alternate reality where nothing was true. That there was no way Naoto was dead because he was...he still...lived in me.”

“Ghost Drifting...”

“Yeah, except a hell of a lot worse. You can find your partner in the Ghost Drift. But to actively live in those memories and not find the solidity you need at the end?” She shook her head and drained her mug. She stared into her mug for a second, a disgusted expression on her face before she set it down. Suzaku had a feeling that Kallen wished it was alcohol in it.

“They don't separate active Ranger pairs for a reason, Suzaku. Even if we are Drift compatible, I don't know if I can really Drift with you,” she said quietly. “I've got Naoto stuck in my head, and now I've got Gino and even worse than that, I got fucking Luciano.”

Suzaku stared at her, alarmed. Luciano Bradley was known as the Knight of Ten. Nicknamed the Vampire of Britannia, Bradley piloted the Knightmare frame Percival and commanded a squadron of all-female Knightmare pilots known as Grausam Valkyrie Squadron. Ruthless to the point of bloodthirsty, the man had a reputation for massive amounts of wanton destruction and the killing of civilians. He also had a reputation for more perverse forms of entertainment and was rumored to have an unusual predilections. How much of it was true and how much of it propaganda, he did not know, but he had even witnessed Schneizel's contempt for the Knight of Ten firsthand.

“L-Luciano B-Bradley-”

“The mysterious second half of Lucky Seven,” Kallen stated quietly.

Lucky Seven had been one of the more unusual pairings. Gino was known to be its pilot, but its second pilot had never been revealed. Even the official roster named the second pilot as classified eyes-only and whenever Gino and his co-pilot showed up in remote briefings, the pilot was always obscured or wearing an opaque helmet.

Suzaku had a sudden frightening thought. What if-

“I doubt it, Kururugi,” Kallen suddenly cut in. “Zero is not Luciano. Thank God. I'd recognize him anywhere now that I have his memories.”

It still left him stunned enough to stare at his half-empty mug. Gino had piloted Lucky Seven with the infamous Knight of Ten for how many years?

“A little under five years. I can give you the more technical years, months, days if you want,” Kallen's voice was tight with emotion. Suzaku did not realize he had even voiced his question.

“...Wow...” he said softly. “I...don't know...”

“Don't say anything, Kururugi. Don't give me sympathy and don't give Gino sympathy. We both knew what we were getting into when we agreed to Drift together,” she sighed, resting her chin on her hand. “I guess maybe I'm to blame too. Wished I wasn't such a coward and talked to you before you resigned. Maybe that would have been easier on all of us in the long run.”

Suzaku frowned. “I...wasn't right in the head then...probably wouldn't have comprehended what you would have said.”

“Yeah, well, me neither.” She blew out a sigh before she suddenly said, “Lelouch ever tell you I kissed him?”

“Not so much as I know about it,” he tapped his head and she nodded. He had only caught a glimpse of it once in the Drift, but didn't think much of it considering he and Lelouch had already been lovers by then. Any previous relationship was just something to gloss over in the Drift.

“Yeah. Went deeper than that for me. Loved him, you see. Hated you. Hated that you survived. I have no fucking idea why. I think...maybe I was jealous,” she rested her chin and hand on the bar. “I wish I had a fucking drink. This sucks when you're sober.”

“We're on Red Alert,” Suzaku pointed out dryly.

“Fuck you,” she shot back. “I wanted Lelouch to be my Drift partner after Naoto. Thought I didn't stand a chance when he asked Euphie. Got excited when he failed with Euphie. Then- blam! You come along. I left to join J-Tech and Dr. Lightcap. Couldn't stand it. Not after Naoto, not after everything.”

“What did you work on all those years?”

“Pons technology,” she replied, blowing a breath upwards so that a few strands of her hair jumped up and fell back down onto her forehead. “Figured out how to mitigate some of the more visceral memories, or at least allow Rangers to cope with them. However, it's only activated during combat and helps mitigate RABITs. Gino was the first test subject after Lucky Seven. I volunteered myself. Maybe wanted to save a life. Save someone because I couldn't save Naoto. Probably tried to save myself with it by tamping down on Naoto's memories in me. Who the fuck knows.”

Suzaku swirled the coffee in his cup. He caught her sideways glance at him as she tilted her head and rested her cheek on the top of the bar.

“You want me to install it into Gipsy? Might help with Knifehead,” she offered.

He pressed his lips together, considering her offer. It would help, he suppose. Whomever he ended up Drifting with wouldn't get the full force of that particular RABIT. He was about to open his mouth to answer when the warning klaxons blared.

“INCOMING KAIJU ALERT! INCOMING KAIJU ALERT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ALL PERSONNEL TO STATIONS! ALL PERSONNEL TO STATIONS! ALL RANGERS, REPORT TO THE WAR ROOM. REPEAT, ALL RANGERS, REPORT TO THE WAR ROOM!”

He and Kallen took one look at each other before they ran out of the officer's lounge. It had only been days since Mutavore's attack. Something had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm fudging everyone's birth dates in the Code Geass world a little to account for the timeline in Pacific Rim. Technically the events of R1 and R2 take place in 2017 and 2018, which makes Kallen, Lelouch, Gino, Suzaku, Akito and Leila's birth dates around 2000-2001.
> 
> In this case, people's birth dates have been moved back a few years earlier than the 2000s to accommodate their twenty-something selves in 2025. For Akito and Leila, they're just a couple years older than Kallen, Lelouch, Gino and Suzaku to mitigate some of the more improbable elements of being in W-Zero.


	10. Chapter 10

Suzaku half-expected Euphie to be in the war room as he and Kallen skidded in. He chided himself for the expectation. She was more than likely in LOCENT with the other J-Tech Chiefs, prepping for Jaeger deployment. Thankfully, he and Kallen weren't the last ones there as Li Xingke and Zhou Xianglin followed them in. They looked like they had just woken up.

“Sorry we're late!” A sing-song voice spoke from the door and Suzaku turned to see the infamous Dr. Lloyd Asplund walk in, Dr. Croomy following behind him with a long suffering look on her face. She smiled briefly at Suzaku as they passed by, headed towards the front of the room where Tohdoh and Zero were standing.

Suzaku's eye caught on the same mysterious-looking green-haired woman with golden eyes standing away from the two. She was childishly hugging a stuffed toy of sorts, but made no other movement other than to stare back. He adverted his gaze from her, but silently wondered who she was.

“Gather 'round Rangers,” Tohdoh gestured for them to approach the war table.

“Zero, got the data for you,” Lloyd handed over a thumb drive and the masked man immediately plugged it in as new sets of scrolling data appeared on the 3D holographic projector.

“I thought you said it was supposed to be a double event?” Zero questioned, glancing at the doctor who had an abnormally wide smile on his face.

The doctor adjusted his glasses and laughed, a high-pitched noise. Suzaku thought the man probably was brain-addled and crazy except for the neutral expressions on all other pilots faces. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Dr. Asplund's default persona was rather eccentric. So, the stories were true about the K-Science doctor. “Hmm? Maybe? K-Watch is reporting one...at the moment.”

“At the moment,” Zero echoed.

Asplund shrugged. “Maybe they can't open the rift that big yet?”

Zero sighed, his voice modulator clearly expressing his displeasure and annoyance before he moved the data projected by the thumb drive Asplund gave him to the digital war board. He widened the data show it showed the single kaiju along with various projected paths and maps of the oceanic currents.

“Current oceanic currents place it at a ninety-percent certainty that it'll reach Hong Kong. There is a chance that it'll hit Sidney after Mutavore's attack, but Marshal li Britannia is currently stationed there,” Zero stated. His fingers tapped on a few of the windows and duplicate copies were made before being sent in a quick email.

Suzaku barely caught a glimpse of the sender's name [Kingsley, Julius] before the window closed. He was surprised at Zero's actions, considering all he heard about Zero and the Britannians. He would have expected some petty political nonsense, but it seemed Zero either didn't care or the fact of a kaiju attack mutual survival was at stake.

“Should we deploy to Manila in case? Their wall hadn't had a chance to even have the concrete harden,” Gino spoke up, staring at the projected map with some intensity in his eyes.

“How do we know it's not going for Alaska? Their section of the wall isn't even done,” Leila cut in.

“The currents aren't favorable at this time. Hong Kong has no wall, an invitation for the kaiju to come and attack,” Zero replied. “No, we're going to be the target. Trust me.”

There were various nods from the other pilots, especially Xingke and Xianglin.

“Projected estimates is an hour or so. This is one fast moving bastard,” Tohdoh reached over to flick a new window open, shrinking the rest. The kaiju's features were shown. It was a somewhat accurate outline, taken from the buoys, cameras, sonars, and deep sea technology developed to watch the Breach. The only thing that it didn't show was the actual color of the damn thing. No one would know what color it was until it surfaced.

Then again, Suzaku thought the only color any kaiju should have was its own blue blood splattered all over itself.

“Otachi,” Kallen murmured, standing next to Gino. “Seriously? Bastardizing  _ odachi _ , I'm betting. Stupid Britannians.”

“Kallen, as the token Britannian in the room, I don't make up the names,” Gino muttered next to her. She glared at him before shaking her head. Suzaku had the impression that it was a running commentary on each and every oddly named kaiju that sounded vaguely Japanese.

He also had to agree with her sentiments. Whomever was in charge of naming the kaiju in K-Watch was either looking through a dictionary or had whims of fancy – like who would name a kaiju Karloff? After Boris Karloff, the horror film actor – though perhaps it was because of Frankenstein? He wasn't sure. But then there were dramatic, but ordinary names, like Harbinger or Ragnarok. Considering the kaiju's prophetic name, it was appropriate. Then, now this, Otachi? The kaiju that appeared before them didn't look like a giant sword –  _ odachi _ .

“Otachi, Category 4, a fairly large one, but not the largest. K-Watch says its displacement rivals that of Mutavore. Note the prehensile tail on our kaiju,” Zero pointed out with a gloved finger, bringing everyone's attention back to the projection. “There's a good chance that the secondary brain may be controlling it.”

“The pouch up front looks makes it look like a frog,” Leila was staring at the projection. Beside her, Akito had a similar expression, the two mirroring each other as they stared at the beast.

“Unknown. Something to watch for. May be a new weapon,” the masked strategist cautioned. “However, it'll be the tail you must keep an eye on. We know that kaiju now go for cockpits. Don't let that thing near you.”

“Sir,” everyone nodded, as Tohdoh enlarged the image of the tail. There were three hooks at the end of it, giving it the appearance of a lotus blossom. It was curved and even through the blurriness of the feed captured by K-Watch, all pilots could see that it was built for clubbing. Sharp pointed claws were at the ends of the petal – Suzaku wondered if they could open, like claws

“It may not bend backwards,” Xingke pointed out as he reached out and drew an absent line from the curvature of the triple claws. “We could force it open to rip it apart.”

“Yes, but look at the way the ligaments are built into the tail. To force it open would be good, but we'd have to survive getting hit first,” his wife and adopted sister pointed out and the Chinese pilot nodded.

“Ahem,” Asplund spoke up, “don't forget, we're expecting a double event.”

“Double?” Kallen echoed.

“Double,” the scientist smiled widely. “Two kaiju for the price of one!”

“And K-Watch didn't say?”

“They noticed the single dilatation,” the scientist shrugged.

“Are we still within the timeframe?” Tohdoh asked and Suzaku turned to look at his sensei. He was confused and was glad that he was not the only one who looked puzzled at the question. It seemed the pilots were not read into this aspect of Operation Pitfall.

“Ye-es,” Asplund singsonged.

“So they're early,” Zero stated.

“Probably. Though I don't understand how they can release something so early and off of their timeframe,” the odd scientist shrugged. “Oh well.”

_ I can,  _ Suzaku had a distinct phantom thought, in Lelouch's voice float through his head at Asplund's words. He frowned, shaking his head slightly to clear the remnant of the Ghost Drift. It would be something he could imagine his long-lost friend would say. But then again, Lelouch loved strategizing.

“Relay to K-Watch the urgency and need to know when that second kaiju appears. It's imperative,” Tohdoh ordered and both Asplund and Croomy nodded curtly.

“Crimson Typhoon, Cherno Alpha. You're front lining the harbor. Miracle Mile,” Zero said. “Play it safe and don't take risks. If that second kaiju appears, we'll need to make sure that both stay down. Striker Eureka, pilots are on standby.”

“Wait, you don't want us out?” Kallen looked a little angry and dismayed. Even Gino was frowning.

“No,” Zero shook his head. “You're our ace in the hole. We'll need you for your part in Pitfall. They've already seen you with Mutavore. Let's let them think that you're still in Sydney.”

Suzaku's eyes shot to Zero, concern filling him. “You're making it sound like these guys have some serious intelligence and can  _ see _ through their kaiju?”

Zero stared at him and Suzaku was suddenly struck by how familiar it felt. There was an intensity to the opaqueness of the man's gaze through his helmet. “That's exactly what I'm saying. We know these creatures have two brains. Same as our two-pilot operations. What is to say that these are their equivalent of front line soldiers design to fight us in a war? They have learned from each engagement and come to hit us in ways we never expect. They've adapted. We can only do so much with our resources so we plan with what we have.”

He turned his head a little to address the others. “Don't take risks. Pitfall is the key here.”

“Pilots to your Jaegers. The rest, on standby,” Tohdoh dismissed them.

Suzaku caught the high-five Gino gave to Leila while Akito only raised an eyebrow as the other man sheepishly grinned before turning and shaking Xingke and Xianglin's hands. Kallen was more traditional, shaking everyone's hands, murmuring her best wishes on a good hunt to them. Suzaku was a little shier in joining in the rituals, feeling both a little left out and perturbed that he did not have a co-pilot to share in the camaraderie. But he nonetheless nodded to Akito and Leila, the latter of the two smiling fondly at him. He suspected Akito probably talked to Leila after their little chat. As for the two Chinese pilots, he shook hands with them.

“We look forward to the day you return to fighting form, Kururugi,” Xianglin said formally.

The two pairs left, headed down the opposite way to their Jaegers, leaving him, Gino and Kallen standing in the halls. Tohdoh and Zero had not emerged from the war room yet and a quick peek in indicated that the two were in a quiet discussion with Asplund and Croomy. The green-haired woman had moved from her place during the briefing and was now hovering over Zero's shoulder.

“Who is she?” Suzaku asked as they started down the hall.

“Supposedly her name's C.C.,” Kallen supplied.

“What kind of name is that?”

“Beats me,” Kallen shrugged. “I think she's Zero's mistress. She keeps hanging on to him, some times literally. I found her coming out of his room more than once.”

“I tried looking into her, but got nothing,” Gino said, “not even a single hit on Britannian intelligence channels. Maybe she's got some kind of blackmail thing over Zero?”

“He doesn't strike me as a person who would take blackmail lightly,” Suzaku said.

“Again, we don't know. But Tohdoh gave everyone orders that she's not to be harmed and to allow her to move around the base wherever and whenever she wants. So there is that...” Gino and Kallen stopped at an intersection in the hallways. “Well, this is us. We'll see you in LOCENT, yeah?”

“See you in a few,” Suzaku waved a goodbye to them as they parted. Both Kallen and Gino would be suiting up, but wouldn't be sitting in Striker's conn-pod unless absolutely necessary. There were phases of deployment status. Normally a stand-by order meant pilots to their conn-pods though not necessarily a neural handshake protocol for Drifting was activated. But in this case, since both Crimson Typhoon and Cherno Alpha were front lining the Miracle Mile, it was a moot point to have Striker in its bay ready to activate.

He arrived at LOCENT shortly, finding it a hub of chattering operators and technicians. There were five separate stations in each LOCENT, and six LOCENTS to service the thirty bays Hong Kong had. Each station was occupied front and center by a J-Tech Chief and behind them was the rest of the operations staff. Some of the positions were for K-Science, some for J-Tech operations. Since they only had four Jaegers, four stations of a single LOCENT was occupied. It was a noisy hub, but most of the noise was from the prep of the two Jaegers about to be deployed.

Crimson Typhoon's station was on the far left of the four occupied. The Empress of China, Tianzi, was already sitting in front of a swath of colorful holographic projections. Her headset was comically large against the whiteness of her hair, but the teenager looked at home. She was already going over checks with her two pilots, her expression a calm mask mirroring the steady output of the pilots vitals. Behind her, the general buzz of the various stations in support to the J-Tech Chief's station was sounding off their readiness.

To the right of Crimson Typhoon's team was Striker Eureka's. While screens lit up Chief Ohgi Kaname's face, he was more relaxed and bantering with the rest of the crew. They were known as the Black Knights and though Suzaku didn't know many of them, he knew that a lot of them were from Japan and were pulled from the various Jaegers that were stationed at the two Shatterdomes before they were closed or destroyed.

Next to Striker's station was Gipsy's, occupied by Euphie and the crew cobbled together from the various groups. Some wore Gipsy's old washed blue coveralls, a sign that they were from the original Gipsy crew which their old Jumphawk Support Chief Milly Ashford had coined the Ashford Academics – much to Lelouch's chagrin because they were all nearly a bunch of teenagers when they formed – but some wore the colors of the other Jaeger support crews. Euphie was however, not at the central station and instead was leaning over to Cherno Alpha's section that was to her right, fiddling with a few dials.

Suzaku did not recognize Cherno Alpha's J-Tech Chief, a man who had quite a disheveled appearance and was chewing on an unlit cigarette. He seemed to be monitoring pilot vitals and major communication frequencies. But a woman sitting next to him, with all of the technical monitors in front of her was familiar to Suzaku. With lavender hair and bright green eyes hidden behind red-framed glasses, Captain Anna Clement was legendary in the world of mechanized designs. Clement was perhaps second behind both Rakshata Chawla and Lloyd Asplund. She created European United's answer to Britannian's Knightmare frame – the Alexander prototypes.

Oddly enough, he spotted both the unkempt man and Clement wearing patches designating them to be J-Tech Chiefs. Perhaps, like Cherno Alpha's unique design, the team itself did not operate like a traditional Jaeger team. Akito did mention that the first inaugural class of Jaeger Academy operated like they were experimental subjects.

“Fixed!” Euphie declared quietly and the unkempt man sat forward, clapping his hands together.

“Thank you so much Princess!” the cigarette hung in his mouth, all but forgotten as he began to run through a checklist.

“Oh, hi Suzaku,” Euphie turned and gestured for him to come closer. “This is Lieutenant Colonel Claus Warwick. Claus, this is-”

“Ranger Suzaku Kururugi. I know. Good to finally meet you kid,” the man extended his hand and Suzaku shook it. “Tough situation regarding your father and then with Knifehead. My belated condolences on both.”

“Thank you,” Suzaku was surprised. Warwick was the first one to really mention anything about Genbu Kururugi's demise. However, the man didn't elaborate as he must have overheard something from either one of his pilots on his headset as he winced and suddenly had a look of chagrin on his face. “Sorry,” he got out to them before he turned back to his station.

“Claus is a good man,” Euphie smiled slightly. “Bit scattered brain, but he says he works better with Anna as the primary J-Tech since she understands Cherno better than anyone else.”

“How's Gipsy?” Suzaku asked as he took a few steps to follow Euphie as she rolled her seat to her station.

“Doing well,” Euphie looked proud, “just about ready too.”

“...Sorry,” he apologized quietly. “About...you know-”

“Don't worry about it,” Euphie shook her head kindly. “Water under the bridge as the saying goes.” She reached out and grasped his hand, squeezing it. “I still care deeply for you, Suzaku. It's just good to know that it'll probably never be.”

Suzaku felt a little torn at her statement, but squeezed it in return before letting it go. He wanted to kiss the back of it, but he was never that comfortable with such public displays of affection. She turned back, a contented smile on her face before she brought up a few displays. “You'll find the right one, I know it. And when you do, she'll be ready for the two of you.”

He nodded solemnly.

“Status?” Zero's voice suddenly boomed behind him and he turned to see the masked man strolling in, Tohdoh next to him. The green-haired woman, C.C., also came in, but stuck to the back of the room and sat in the shadows.

“Crimson Typhoon's Support crews are lifting him out and dropping him off into the Miracle Mile as we speak,” Tianzi reported. “Pilot lines open, Drift holding at one-hundred percent. Marking twenty minutes since start.”

“Cherno Alpha, launching from rollers,” Clement reported, “Pilot lines-”

“Open,” Warwick echoed, tapping a couple of buttons, “Drifting holding at one-hundred percent. Marking ten minutes since start.”

“Ten?” Zero tilted his head.

“Slight aberration and re-calibration needed. Nothing to worry about, sir,” Warwick reassured with a casual salute.

Suzaku wondered if it was because of Akito's geass. The crew seemed to take it as normal so he supposed it was part of the process. While he was curious as to how Leila managed Akito's geass, he also knew it was not his place to pry. The other man had already revealed something very personal in order to help him and so he owed him and the team to keep that private.

“Crimson Typhoon, ready for drop,” Xingke's voice echoed from the speakers in the room. An unbidden smile appeared on Suzaku's face as he listened to the familiar banter. It was normally the right hemisphere that was the dominant pilot and the most talkative, acknowledging orders or giving them. The left hemisphere was not as vocal, but there were times when things were a little more reversed, especially when it came to weapon systems on each Jaeger.

“Dropping,” the lead Support Chief in Crimson's Jumphawks acknowledged the order.

“We've dropped and landed,” Xianglin reported a few seconds later. Images were thrown up onto a large projector above Tianzi's head and Suzaku could see that they were from the eight Jumphawks that were part of each Jaeger's support team. The red-gold Jaeger was rising out of the waters on the Miracle Mile, moving this way and that to get a feel for the currents and eddies of the place.

“Cherno Alpha, off rollers and headed out to the staging point,” Leila Breisgau's voice was a bit of a surprise to Suzaku. He would have thought with Akito's aloof demeanor and the geass, he would have been the dominant pilot. But it made sense, Suzaku suppose, that the European United people wanted a pure-blooded European to be the dominant pilot.

He glanced over to see another set of video feeds thrown up above Warwick and Clement's heads as their own Jumphawks circled above, showing the monstrous and lumbering Cherno making its way to the staging ground. The thing moved ponderously through the waters, but there was power behind each swing of its mechanical legs.

“Cherno, hang back a little bit. Remember, Otachi is fast in the water. Don't expect to retaliate unless you find an opening,” Zero suddenly spoke up and Suzaku glanced behind to see the man gripping a microphone. His other hand was tapped into a control panel of sorts.

“Cherno acknowledges,” Akito's voice was monotonous, almost robotic.

“Movement, spotted at three o'clock,” Xingke suddenly interrupted. The image of Crimson Typhoon stopped in the water, its mono-lens head turning to its right.

“Three o'clock,” Xianglin hissed.

“We don't see it-”

“Crimson, Cherno here, definitely see a cresting movement behind you-”

“Look out!” one of Crimson's support helos squawked.

The water exploded to Crimson's right side and Suzaku's eyes widened at the sight of Otachi finally making itself known. The kaiju roared, its sound tinned from the audio feed, but Suzaku flinched. He thought each kaiju sounded different, but somehow, this one screamed like Knifehead.

Even before the red Jaeger could make a move, Otachi suddenly spun, its tail whipping into the Jaeger's chest, sending it flying into the ground. Grunts and cries echoed as Xingke and Xianglin fought to keep control. Crimson Typhoon pushed itself up on his haunches, shaking its head to rid himself of the disorientation.

“Thundercloud! Prepare!” Xingke barked in Chinese.

Twin blades activated in the arms of the red Jaeger just as Otachi charged. Crimson Typhoon was aptly named as the Jaeger cut wide swaths of gouges at the kaiju, making it scream and hiss, trying to dodge the blows. Kaiju blue flew everywhere before the beast suddenly rolled away, hissing again with a menacing glare-

“DIE!” Cherno Alpha came roaring in with a deep blaring horn. Similar to fog horns of old lighthouses as well as those on Gipsy Danger, the warning horn was used to both signal the arrival of a Jaeger and for intimidation. Later models did not possess it, a holdover from nuclear reactor-types, but it nonetheless seemingly startled Otachi as the creature turned.

Suzaku caught a glimpse of the kaiju's triple eyes widening in what was probably shock before it was suddenly grabbed into an elbow lock. The giant crackling Tesla-coiled fist of Cherno pounded into the side of Otachi's face, sending it reeling. However, Cherno kept a firm grip on its prey.

“DIE!” Leila and Akito screamed, feral, raw, as it smashed Otachi's face over and over again. “DIE, DIE!”

Each word was accompanied by the fist hitting the Otachi's head, stunning it further. Suzaku shot a quick look at the readings and saw that the pilots brainwave readings were abnormally high, almost as if it was taking a life of its own, but the syncing of the Drift was holding at one-hundred percent. It was almost as if they were following the RABIT, but still in eerie sync.

“DIE!” Cherno Alpha sounded deranged, grip slipping a little from the blood and water. The kaiju wriggled itself free.

They reached up to pound it one more time with an overhead double-fisted strike, but Otachi was faster, slamming its body into the Jaeger, sending the top-heavy machine falling backwards into the water.

“Cherno! Hang on!” Crimson Typhoon shouted, running towards them and slashing downwards at the kaiju.

But Otachi was too fast, too slippery, dodging the spinning blades-

“Watch out for that TAIL!” Zero shouted.

Crimson barely deflected the blow from the prehensile tail that was attempting to club them and Otachi hissed, clearly irritated. The clubbed tail opened to reveal three digit-like claws and snapped back together several times, as if taunting them.

“Fucking hell,” someone muttered.

Suzaku agreed with the sentiment, horrified that the kaiju had gotten this  _ smart _ in the intervening five years. He watched, as Crimson held his spinning blades in front of it, eyeing the kaiju warily as it returned the favor.

Cherno's sudden horn startled Otachi again and Suzaku saw the Jaeger pound its fists together, giving its own challenge. “Come on you fucking bastard!” the European-built machine shouted.

Otachi screeched and miraculously  _ turned _ , exposing its back on Crimson Typhoon. However, the surprise was short lived as it seemingly wriggled, like it was about to pounce before opening its tri-folded mouth. They got an eyeful of the ugly iridescent blue that ran in all kaiju, just as the bulge under its mandibles grew-

“Oh fuck, Cherno _get_ _out of the way_ -”

Zero's shout of warning was lost as a liquid of sorts, glowing the same iridescent blue, suddenly jetted from the kaiju's open maw. It landed all over Cherno reactor head and dripped down to the conn-pod. Immediately the technical station lit up in bright reds and errors.

“Shit! Hull integrity down to thirty-percent and dropping!”

“Vitals-”

“Fuck that's some-”

“LOCENT, this is Cherno, we got hit with some kind of acid-” Leila's voice was distinctive now.

“Alignments are coming out-”

“Akito you're-”

“CHERNO DUCK TO YOUR LEFT!” Crimson Typhoon yelled at the same time warnings came from the spotters above them. Otachi had leapt at the severely damaged Jaeger-

Suzaku watched, horrified as the old Mark I attempted to stumble to their left, only to reel from a graze by Otachi's claw. Thankfully, it didn't fall into the seawater. At the same time the Chinese Jaeger rammed into the beast.

“Striker, get ready for backup!” Zero barked and Suzaku turned slightly to see both Kallen and Gino nodding curtly as their station came alive to hurriedly prep for Striker's deployment. Both pilots ran out LOCENT, and Suzaku glanced over to see the masked man's hands curled into tight fists. Tohdoh stood near Zero, calm and collected.

“Crimson, Striker ETA ten minutes. Lead Otachi away for Cherno recovery,” Tohdoh said in a calm manner. It seemed to pull Zero from whatever funk he had felt in that moment as Suzaku watched him straighten and right himself.

He turned back to see that Crimson had deactivated one of its spinning blades, one hand grasping onto Otachi's tail in an effort to stop it from destroying its fellow Jaeger. However, it was now struggling heavily with the prehensile tail and taking a lot of damage.

Crimson Typhoon's readouts were blinking orange and red through various parts and its pilots breaths were coming in gasps and grunts as it tried to hold on.

Zero suddenly stabbed the board. “Slice now!”

“Got it!” the two pilots replied. The Jaeger batted away an attempt at attacking its head, and twisted from Otachi just as its left hand that had been gripping the tail suddenly spun up, the buzzing saw slicing through part of the skin and a gush of kaiju blue filled the air.

Otachi screamed and tried to unwind its tail from the grip, but Crimson reached over, deactivating its right hand blade and clawed at the open wound on the thicker end of the tail. More kaiju blue filled the air, spurting as the wound on the tail was ripped by sheer force. Otachi screeched and fought viciously, its forelegs swiping at Crimson. The technical board got redder and redder, and Suzaku could see that the kaiju was winning, was slashing through the plates that held the Jaeger together-

“Now!” Crimson suddenly shouted and the propulsion jets on the Jaeger suddenly came to life, shoving the severely wounded kaiju away from them. Only for Xianglin to suddenly scream as the tail latched onto Crimson's left arm and rip it away.

Suzaku twitched, his own hand coming up to grip his left arm in sympathetic pain at the neural feedback the woman received. But Crimson continued to fight and the right arm, blades buzzing angrily, came slashing down in retaliation against Otachi. The acid pouch on the kaiju burst open in a spectacular bloom of iridescent blue and green, showering the water, kaiju and Jaeger.

Crimson Typhoon suddenly collapsed, right leg clearly gone from the knee downwards as Xingke made his own pain known with a barely held back muffled scream. The Jaeger's left leg wasn't fairing well either, half of the plates and metals within gone, dissolved by the acid. Both brother and sister looked blearily up, barely supported by their arms splayed out in front of them half drenched in seawater, and for a moment Suzaku wondered if this was the end of the fierce Chinese Jaeger.

To his surprise and that of the others, the kaiju suddenly disappeared into the waves, a keening cry echoing away from them.

“Holy shit, it's...the kaiju...it's swimming away!” Ohgi shouted.

Everyone turned their eyes to the monitor where it was clearly showing the bogey named Otachi swimming away from the Miracle Mile.

“What the actual fuck?” Warwick swore, his unlit cigarette dropping from his mouth.

“Striker getting into position, ETA to drop three minutes!” Kallen's voice blared across the comms.

“Neural handshake holding steady at one-hundred percent.”

“Choppers, pick up Crimson, return to the hanger bay. Striker, be careful. Otachi just swam away, but we don't have eyes on a potential second kaiju nor could this be a feint,” Tohdoh stated.

“LOCENT copy that,” Gino's voice came over. “Damn, this place looks like a kaiju blue bathbomb.”

“Copy,” Ohgi replied crisply. “Striker, avoid the section of Crimson twenty degrees to your left. We think there's still acid floating in the sea water that's not mixed in yet.”

“Got it LOCENT.”

Suzaku huffed a breath and crossed his arms across his chest. Two Jaegers taken out by one kaiju who got away, severely wounded, but still alive. He shuddered. Then there was the unaccounted for kaiju that was supposed to have arrived with Otachi according to Asplund's predictions. He grimaced. There had to be something he could do. He hated this, hated being out of the action. He glanced over to see Euphie's eyes rooted upon the monitors, her lips a thin line. Her hands were curled into fists on her lap, worry creasing the corners of her eyes.

He looked over to see Zero's head bowed and for a second wondered if the man was giving up before he made a motion with a gloved hand. Suzaku realized Zero was talking with someone on a different line. He walked over, wondering who Zero would be talking to at this time when a battle was raging.

“-and I am politely asking you, Marshal, if there have been any appearances of kaiju in Sydney,” Zero's modulated voice was tight with barely restrained anger.

“And why should I answer a terrorist?!” Cornelia li Britannia was on the other end, her purple eyes narrowed dangerously as she spat her answer.

“We are at war. Surely domestic terrorism is the last thing on your mind. You've saw the K-Watch alert. Dr. Asplund is very sure there should have been two. Not one,” Zero replied.

“Damn you. If I'd known-”

“A simple yes or no would do-”

“No, you fucking bastard,” Cornelia replied. “Otherwise, I'd be out there chopping that fucker apart!” She huffed a breath. “If I'd known that Julius Kingsley was the infamous Zero. Where the hell is Tohdoh?! Have you held him hostage-”

“No, he's right here,” Zero pushed away from the console before walking away. He gestured roughly to Tohdoh to take his place.

Suzaku did not even bother concealing that he had been listening in, but he was surprised when Zero stopped next to him, crossing his arms across his chest and staring out towards the rest of LOCENT as the technical teams scrambled to get Crimson Typhoon back. Striker Eureka had disengaged from the Jumphawks and was now moving around the Miracle Mile warily, watching and scanning for any sign of Otachi.

This close to Zero, Suzaku saw that the man was trembling, both from tension and from a clear line of anger that ran through him. He glanced at the masked man who seemingly ignored him.

“I have not concealed him, Marshal li Britannia. If you had ever visited, you would have found him here. The rosters listed him as Julius Kingsley. You only believe what you wish to believe...” Tohdoh was saying in a very mild and polite manner.

“Her quick temper and judgment will one day be her bane,” Zero grumbled. “Fuck she's persistent.”

Suzaku could not help the snort of laughter that emerged from his lips. He saw the mask man glance at him and shrugged. “Nice to find someone who shares my sentiment about both li Britannias.”

To his mild surprise, Zero also snorted slightly, but seemingly sobered as he shook his head. “It has to be a double event. Granted its early, but it has to be.”

“Why are you so sure?” Suzaku asked, curious.

“There's always been a pattern to the kaiju attacks. First it was every twenty-four weeks, then twelve, then six, then every two weeks. Asplund, Chawla and the other K-Scientists believe that we could be looking at an event up to every hour, but preceded by a double and then triple event.”

“And the double event was supposed to be in this particular timeframe?”

“Within seven days,” Zero shook his head. “So where the fuck is the other one?”

Suzaku didn't answer, knowing it was a rhetorical question. He glanced back towards Euphie who had gotten up from her seat and was now helping Crimson Typhoon's team, attempting to calm a crying Tianzi. It was clear that this was the first time the teenager had probably ever seen her Jaeger and the pilots this severely injured. Some of the other members of the team had tears tracking down their eyes, but they were valiantly trying to hold it together for the sake of their J-Tech Chief. From his vantage point, he could tell the pilot vitals were erratic. He couldn't hear what the teams were saying to each other, but he hoped that Xingke and Xianglin weren't severely injured.

He looked away, his eyes tracking to the hardened expressions of the Black Knights, all grimly watching the monitors, eyes carefully watching the screens for any sign of Otachi. Ohgi's eyes darted to the Crimson team whom they were sitting next to, but always brought his gaze back to the monitors. Both Kallen and Gino were oddly silent, and he suspected both were taking in the situation with a seriousness that belied the urgency of finishing off the wounded kaiju and getting ready to deal with the other one.

His eyes tracked to the final control station of Cherno Alpha. The team was huddled around each other, their Jaeger already recovered. From his vantage point, he couldn't tell what Leila or Akito's status was. Warwick seemed to be trying to cheer up the group of young men and women, but even he seemed pensive.

Suzaku closed his eyes. He wanted to do  _ something _ . Anything.

He heard a slight bit of creaking cloth beside him and turned to see that Zero had clenched a gloved hand into a fist. Before he could voice why the hell the man was acting in such a way, Zero's hand shot out. “Euphie!” he called out, startling most of the room.

Euphie turned, surprise in her eyes.

“You win,” Zero declared. “Prep Gipsy Danger.”

In a move completely uncharacteristic of her, Euphie suddenly pumped a fist into the air and jumped out of her seat. “Yeah!”

Suzaku barely had time to process what was happening before Zero turned on his heel and walked a few steps away, only to turn back and stare at him through his sightless mask. He dramatically extended his hand out towards him.

“Well? Let's see if we're still Drift compatible, Ranger Kururugi.”


	11. Chapter 11

Suzaku found himself staring at the back of Zero's masked head, bewildered by what had just happened. He nearly tripped over his own feet as he followed the other man to the pilot ready room. “What do you mean _still_?” he asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time since they left LOCENT.

But like every other time, Zero ignored him, his steps echoing down the halls with a crisp sureness. The ridiculous cape flapped behind him. Suzaku was getting a little more than angry at the man's lack of an answer to his question.

“Zero!” He finally had enough and reached out to grab the taller man by the shoulder. But even before his hand reached him, the masked man abruptly stopped, spinning to face him. It halted Suzaku's movement. He found it so eerie, like Zero could sense exactly when he was about to touch him.

“You'll find out soon enough when we Drift,” Zero stared at him and Suzaku frowned. He could almost imagine a smirk inside that helmet and resisted the urge to suddenly slug him hard.

“I don't like surprises,” he bit out instead.

“No, you don't,” Zero agreed. “But in this case, neither do I.”

“So what the hell?”

“You wanted to do something, well, here's something we can do,” Zero spread his hands out.

“We?”

“Believe me, this is not the way I wanted things to go. Nor did I have an inclination in getting back in a Jaeger. But if it's the only way to force certain issues to rest and perhaps end this war, then I'm willing to do it.”

“You were a Jaeger pilot?”

Zero snorted before turning back around and walking off. Suzaku ran to catch up with him, but before he could say anything else, they entered the pilot ready room. Suzaku felt his breath catch for a second, memories of the last time he was in the ready room overwhelming him. The J-Tech engineers swarmed all over the place, pulling out pieces of the drivesuit, shouting checks and status updates to each other. He took a few steps forward, his eyes riveted on the sleek, shiny and new all-black shells of the drivesuit.

Movement out of the corner of his eyes made him turn to see Zero removing his cloak, revealing that the suit underneath was rather formal, almost military-like along with being form-fitting. Slight curves and bulges of muscles in the arms and shoulder indicated Zero was fit, lending to his previous words that he was a former Jaeger pilot. The man shucked his gloves off, revealing spindly hands. There were patches of a film-like shine on parts of the skin, especially the knuckles. Zero had been burned on his hands before, but it oddly didn't detract from the beauty and elegance in the way the man curled his fingers.

They certainly did not look like the fingers of a fighter in his opinion. There was an odd delicateness to the way Zero held his gloves in one hand and his other reaching up to loosen the white cravat he wore.

“Sir,” Suzaku was pulled from his contemplation as an engineer approached him. She had bright green eyes, her hair hidden under a ball cap. “If you will?”

“Sure,” Suzaku nodded, breathing out as he started to shed his clothing. He quickly glanced over to see if Zero was going to remove his helmet, finally revealing who he was, but the man had turned and was walking to another room. He saw the green-haired woman, C.C., peering out from the room before she closed the door behind him.

“Uh...?”

“We're chalking it up to one of Zero's weirder quirks. Don't worry about it. The real test is if you're Drift compatible, Ranger,” the engineer that was helping him strip took his clothing and folded it up neatly.

“Yeah...I was hoping to actually, you know, see him...or her,” he added belatedly. “Have you guys ever-”

The engineer shrugged, taking his shoes and socks. She moved it to an open locker, storing it next to that of Striker Eureka's pilot lockers. “Nope,” she said. “Don't forget, undershirt needs to go too. All the way down to skivvies.”

“It's cold,” Suzaku shivered as he took his undershirt off, leaving himself only in his boxers. He could feel a bit of mild embarrassment, having not stripped in such a way since Knifehead, but it was quickly chased away by the sight of the familiar under layer material that was the neural underlayer of the drivesuit technology. To the regular eye, it looked like a cross between a scuba suit and plastic material with a lot of dots and wiring filament on it. But it was all part of the neural technology developed to work in concert with the Pons.

The material was insulated and designed to protect against the harshest of conditions as well as from most rips and tears. Made of the same ballistic and heat resistant material that NASA and other space agencies used for years in spacewalks, it housed technology that he could not even begin to comprehend. The plastic-like shine on the outside layer was a very thin, microscopic weave of aerogel. Extremely heat resistant, it was also coated to protect from high radiation levels up to a certain point.

Two other engineers helped him into the suit, the material clinging onto him like a second layer of skin. He was immediately warmed by it as the female engineer activated the button that would create a seamless seal. He smiled slightly. “Feeling warmer already,” he murmured and she laughed before she gestured for her fellow engineers to start fitting him with the ballistic armor portion of the drivesuit.

The chest piece and rest of the sections were a sleek black color. Not quite as shiny as he first thought, but rather form-fitting and very new-looking. They were designed for impact reduction as well as more radiation and kaiju blue protection. The insides of the sections were automatically synced with the neural layers, matching his range of motion with that of Gipsy Danger.

Last but not least, he was handed his helmet and he stared at it, noting that it looked a little like a oblong motorcycle helmet, though the visor section was heavily tinted, though not opaque like Zero's.

“From your point of view, it'll be exactly like if you were wearing a non-tinted helmet, but this was requested by Zero. He said it was to protect your identity if you wanted it.”

“Huh...” Suzaku didn't know how he felt about that statement, but put the helmet on and secured it, watching as the gelatinous Pons fluid drain down into the circulatory systems, syncing everything up. The liquid inside provided the electrical feedback and current that made their actions more aligned. It was also the same one that gave neural feedback if an arm got ripped off in the middle of battle.

“Well,” the engineer who had first helped him stepped back, a proud smile on her face. “You're all set, Ranger Kururugi. Go get 'em!”

“Thanks-”

“I'm surprised you've forgotten, cousin,” she grinned at him and the smile he had on his face turned into a frown as he stared at the female engineer.

It was then that he noticed she had long black hair, tied up away from her eyes. Most of it had been hidden under her ball cap except for her ponytail. Her bangs hung down on elegantly groomed eyebrows and her bright green eyes were exactly the same as his – the only sign that they were related.

“K-Kaguya...” he blinked, shocked.

Kaguya Sumeragi had grown from a very short – or 'vertically challenged' as she'd always say – young teen who always wore traditional outfits befitting her status as the 14 th  Head of the Sumeragi clan to a woman who once said she wouldn't be caught dead in an engineer's coveralls. She was taller now quite sophisticated and still rather doe-eyed.

She suddenly pulled him into a bone-crushing hug before releasing him. “I've been waiting to do that for five long years, Suzaku.”

“F-Five?”

“Yeah...” she murmured before she suddenly made a gesture that meant for him to move. “But we can talk later, okay? You go out there and you go kick some kaiju ass.”

Suzaku couldn't help but laugh. “Yes ma'am.” He tossed her a casual salute before heading out to the upper levels that would take him to the bridge to Gipsy's conn-pod. Arriving, he didn't see Zero inside it. He supposed whatever the man was doing, he would be along shortly.

It was nostalgic to step into Gipsy's conn-pod, he thought as he ran a gloved finger along parts of the right harness. A small sad smile twitched his lips up as he remembered both the good and bad memories. Before he and Lelouch had ever Drifted, they fought rather viciously, over who would be the right hemisphere. They did not attach any stigma to the left hemisphere, it was just the two of them attempting to vie for dominance against each other's will. He didn't remember how that fight ended, but he knew that he would never accept anyone else on the right side except for Lelouch.

He heard the clomp of boots behind him as Zero entered.

“Hey,” he didn't bother looking up at the other man, knowing he probably couldn't see into the helmet, “I'm taking the right side if you don't mind.” He grimaced a little as he flexed his left hand. “Old injury on the left.” It was a good excuse as any, but he really did not feel like debating the recalcitrant strategist. They would be in each other's head soon enough.

Zero did not say anything except to nod once. He still could not tell who it was underneath the helmet, but he did see an outline of a face, some loose strands of hair, probably a dark brown or black and eyes that stared at him. Suzaku ignored Zero for the moment as he set his feet into the latches, locking himself into the foot section of the harness. He leaned back and felt the connections automatically link up with the rest of his suit, grimacing at the sudden jolt of the final connection to his spine and neural pathways. His helmet's HUD lit up green, indicating he was fully patched into Gipsy.

“Zero, Suzaku, you're vitals are reading strong and all networks check out. Prepare for drop,” Euphie's voice echoed in both his ear and in the conn-pod.

“Good to hear you Euphie,” Suzaku smiled as he keyed the comm. “Gipsy Danger, ready for the drop.” He heard the crank of the conn-pod doors lock and seal behind him.

“Ready,” Zero echoed.

Suzaku shot a quick look at him, a little disoriented from both the lack of a voice modulator, but also because the voice sound so eerily familiar. But- He shook his head, cutting that particular protest and thought off at the sudden swooping feeling as Gipsy's conn-pod was released and sent down towards her body.

They landed shortly as cranking sounds echoed in the chamber around them, Gipsy's head spinning to lock into place.

“Engaging pilot-to-pilot protocol,” Euphie's voice was calm, soothing and Suzaku took a deep breath. He heard the sounds of Gipsy coming to life, her nuclear reactor spinning with a familiar whine. The main HUD to flickered to life in front of them, digitized, new, with expanded field of vision and a complement of weapons that he could reach out an activate by hand or by voice. Gone were the days of screens and touch points. This was a new Gipsy with updated technology packets and hard light holographic interfaces. He was falling in love with her all over again.

“Gipsy prepare for neural handshake in five, four, three-”

This was it...

“-two, one.”

Gipsy's HUD suddenly disappeared as he felt himself pulled into the world of the shared headspace-

_His grin held a tight edge as he spun, smacking his opponent twice, three times with his shinai._

“ _Control! More control,” Tohdoh intoned._

“ _Hai, sensei!” he returned. He smiled up at his father Genbu, but the smile was not returned._

* * *

_There was power in that form, the artful way dodging the instructor's blows. He would definitely score the highest in the combat part of the evaluation. He had to admit, he was readily impressed. A quick glance at Euphie showed she was enraptured. Maybe a little bit aroused too judging by the pink that colored her cheeks. He looked back. He would have to have a talk, just to check the intentions and make sure Euphie would not be taken advantage of. Still, he couldn't help the small sliver of jealousy. Euphie would surely be part of a pilot by the end of the six months... He hoped he was her chosen partner instead of that particular asshole that was fight with a lithe gracefulness on the mats._

* * *

_Nunnally squirmed for another thirty seconds before finally sighing. “You know I love you, my brother, right? And you know I only wish the best for you as you have for me.”_

“ _...Yes?”_

“ _Well, can I give you some advice?”_

“ _Nunnally, what-”_

“ _Can I?”_

“ _Of course...yes. Anything,” he was puzzled._

“ _So...maybe you should consider a Drift test--?”_

* * *

_Well...that was interesting, he, or rather, they didn't expect that kind of score. Drift compatible indeed. He glanced over, a sardonic smile on his face. “Who knew?”_

“ _Who knew...”_

“ _So...what...are you going to do about it?”_

“ _I was about to ask you.”_

* * *

_He barely felt the impact against the wall as he pressed his lips against his neck, making him groan. It sent a thrill straight down into his pants. He laughed huskily, his hands digging through his shirt, trying to rip them off at the same time he could feel hands undoing the belt to his own pants-_

* * *

“ _Fucking hell, don't tell me this doesn't bother you either?!”_

_He slammed the tablet down onto the table, the series of headlines screaming in its ugly glory._

“ _So?” He arched an eyebrow, wondering why he was getting so riled up._

“ _Don't you care-”_

“ _Not in particular,” he replied. He left that life behind. He was a Ranger now and nothing else except for the man in front of him mattered._

* * *

_There were tears in his eyes. He weakly reached out and brushed them. “Why...?”_

“ _Please,” he begged, grasping onto his fingers and clutching them tightly. That had been so close. Too close for comfort. “Don't do that again...okay? I don't...I don't know-”_

_He lifted their entwined hands back and kissed it gently. His lips were chapped, rough, but he hoped it conveyed the message he wanted it to. “I'm sorry,” he apologized. “I love you...”_

“ _I love you too.”_

* * *

 _The wailing of klaxons startled him from his sleep. He groaned, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. Damn kaiju. [_ _**He lifted his head and stared at the holographic hardlight projection that sprung up at the head of the bed.** _ _]_

_[INCOMING ALERT, KAIJU LANDFALL IMMINENT. CATEGORY 4, KNIFEHEAD]_

“ _\--Wake up!”_

_He sleepily blinked open his eyes and blearily glanced up at his partner's emerald green ones. “Huh?”_

_[_ _**He turned over and roughly shook his partner's shoulder. It elicited a mumbled 'huh?' followed by sleepy violet eyes blinking at him uncomprehendingly.** _ _]_

“ _Wake up!” Suzaku insisted before the dip of the bed told him that his lover left its confines._

 _He made a small motion to reach out to grab him, missing the sudden lack of warmth, but grasped empty air. Rubbing his eyes, he watched with a contented smile as Suzaku tried to fit his head through one of_ his _tee-shirts. Sometimes Suzaku could be so absent minded to forget what shirt belonged to whom in their shared laundry pile. Still, it did wonders showing off his lover's physique. Maybe he should suggest to Milly they swap out all of Suzaku's shirts for a size or two smaller. The entertainment value would be great. For him, for Milly, definitely for Euphie, and for the others. Maybe not for Tohdoh, but the Marshal was always a stick in the mud._

 _[_ _**“Wake up!” he insisted before hopping out of the bed. He snagged a clean tee-shirt in the recently washed laundry pile they had and put it on, with a little bit of difficulty, before he realized it was one of Lelouch's. It fitted a lot more snugly than he was used to, but he managed to roll it over his head and down his torso.** _ _]_

“ _Come on! Category 4 alert! Kaiju code named,_ Knifehead _.”_

_He pushed himself up, watching as Suzaku bounded back and pat him on the shoulder._

_[_ _**He turned back to see Lelouch sleepily sit up, still blinking sleep from his eyes before Suzaku bounded over and patted his partner on the shoulder.** _ _]_

“ _Come on!” he insisted. “Marshal's gonna have your ass if we're not at the ready room in fifteen minutes!”_

“ _I'm up, I'm up,” he shook his head slowly, his shaggy black hair falling across his face for a second. But he was moving, dragging himself out of their bed. He stumbled towards the bathroom, stretching as he walked. He adjusted his tee-shirt, even though he knew he would discard it soon for a fresh one to wear. Suzaku always made fun of his sleepwear habits. He liked sleeping with clothes on while Suzaku preferred just his boxer shorts. It was one of those weird fundamental things that he could never quite understand and chalked it up to differences growing up._

_Suzaku bounded over to him again. “We get this one, its number five, yeah?” He attempted to coordinate the handshake they developed for good luck, but his reaction time was slow and he shook his head as he shuffled into the bathroom. It was then, he finally registered Suzaku's words and stopped. He turned back around._

“ _Hey,” he said and Suzaku grinned at him. “Don't get cocky.”_

“ _Whatever,” he waved at him to do his business and clean himself up._

_The quick, cold shower woke up him further and after cleaning himself off and dressing in fresh clothing, he exited the bathroom in time to smell the wonderful aroma of coffee filling the air. He walked the few steps over, a smile on his face as he saw the pensive expression on Suzaku's face._

“ _Thoughts?” he asked._

_Suzaku turned, shrugging. “Sex.”_

_He wanted to laughed, but settle for a shake of his head. “And you complain that I'm the crass one.” He accepted the mug of coffee and protein bar and ate it while drinking the god-awful fast-brewed Nespresso. Still, caffeine was caffeine, even for the lack of flavor._

“ _You're the one who solicited it first or have you forgotten,” Suzaku pointed out, drinking his glass of orange juice and eating his own protein bar._

“ _If I'm about to be in your head and the first thing that comes up while we're calibrating is us having sex, then we'll see who is crass.”_

“ _Can't tell which one's though. It'll be the same thoughts.”_

_He rolled his eyes, sipping on his coffee as he made a face. “Nespresso...ugh.”_

“ _Hopefully it won't be like Clawhook. Too tired to do anything except sleep like the dead for one week straight.”_

“ _Think of it as giving information to Dr. Lightcap and breaking a record of Drifting that hasn't been matched since.”_

“ _Pioneers,” Suzaku set his cup down and leaned over him to swipe the holographic hardlight info to their PDA._

_He spied his opportunity to tease his best friend a little and gently pecked Suzaku's cheek. “Save your energy for later,” he whispered, knowing that Suzaku was quite sensitive around his ears. He was rewarded with a blush forming on his friend's cheeks. He laughed, allowing himself a moment of levity before he fished his PDA out and stared at the info Suzaku transferred._

“ _All right, what do we have here,” he turned his focus onto the info. “Knifehead,” he muttered the kaiju's name. “Cat 4, one of the biggest yet. Wow, serious displacement too. Is that cartilage or bone? Soft underbelly...looks like they've gone for a more shark-like appearance. Dammit, I wish we can see color. But maybe if we hit him in the eyes like a shark...”_

“ _Any weaknesses?”_

“ _Underbelly. It's big though,” he mused as he pursed his lips. “But I'm also willing to bet that's a blind spot. It's got prey-eyes, not so much apex predator front facing. Shark-like appearance, so it'll be aware of its surroundings. We hit it fast, one or two plasmacasters and it should go down.”_

“ _Nice,” Suzaku's lips quirked up. “So what's bothering you?”_

_He glanced at his friend. They knew each other so well.“K-Watch predicted it was going to hit Vancouver or Seattle. There's nothing to indicate that the Gages engaged Knifehead. So why is it all the way up here? The runoff currents doesn't show us in the right pattern for the year.”_

“ _Maybe the Gages sniped it from far away and it shied, caught wind of whatever little current we have and decided we were a better meal? We were supposed to be their back up.”_

“ _Good point,” he sighed and shut his PDA off, setting it onto their shared end table. “All right, let's get going before the Marshal has our asses.”_

“ _Jacket!”_

_He caught the bomber jacket with Gipsy's emblem all over it along with the patches of Greek lettering signifying their kills and slipped it on. It had been a gift from his half-sister Marrybell on a rare clandestine visit. She made no excuses that part of her visit was to both express her love and admiration for her favorite brother but as well as to meet Suzaku. To what purposes, but he knew his partner was unfailingly polite throughout Marrybell's visit and it ended with his red-haired sister expressing a jealousy for how gentlemanly he was. The last thing he also heard from her was that she was enrolling in Jaeger Academy._

_Since posted to Anchorage roughly at the start of the new year, he thought he would have had time to visit her, but with the heightened alert, he didn't have time. Still, it was nice to know that she was close and safe. Maybe once she graduated and if she didn't find a Drift partner, he would take her to Hawai'i._

_They arrived at the ready room with minutes to spare and were promptly suited up by Shirley. The four years of working with her as their drivesuit engineer did not diminish her uneasiness at seeing them nearly naked, but she had managed to stop turning a tomato red since about a year ago. Still, her competent expertise and hands got him and Suzaku ready in no time at all._

“ _Good luck!” she called after them and he tossed her a casual salute._

“ _Thank you as always, Shirley,” Suzaku called, following him up the stairs to the conn-pod._

_They entered, bolted into the neural interface before Euphie's cheerful voice chirped her good mornings to them._

“ _Morning Euphie, how was your date last night?” His head snapped to his left to see Suzaku grin sheepishly at him, his finger still depressing the comm button. “What?”_

“ _My sister is_ dating _someone?”_

_Suzaku laughed. “Come on, you can't baby her forever.”_

“ _Yeah, but who the fuck is this guy...or girl?!” he amended quickly. Euphie never spoke about her preferences, nor was he inclined to pry. Why declare such a private matter just to gain attention? He never did it and didn't care what others thought even though the media, his siblings and even the royal family attempted to label him. Suzaku was the only one who truly knew and even then, they had gotten over that awkwardness once they began to Drift in earnest._

“ _I'm not telling,” Euphie's voice echoed playfully in their ears. “I have two overprotective older brothers now, possibly three when Schneizel gets word.”_

“ _More liable to recruit them to where he can keep an eye on them, Euphie,” he warned, half in jest. He glanced over to Suzaku to see him smiling. He knew Suzaku cared deeply for Euphie, probably more than the sibling love she alluded to, but he also knew that both would not act on their feelings. It was sweetly romantic – a true gesture of courtly love that even had the courtiers in Pendragon swooning. Perhaps if he was less of a selfish man, he might have considered a triad or possibly sharing._

_But he was selfish._

“ _Eh,” she agreed. “Initiating pilot-to-pilot protocols. Get ready for the drop.”_

“ _Gipsy Danger, ready for the big drop,” he keyed the comm._

_Suzaku whooped his joy just as a swooping sensation lurched in their stomachs. He was still amazed at how easy it was for his partner to be awake at all odd hours. It was tempered a few seconds later as they came to a halt and the grinding gears of Gipsy's head spinning into alignment was heard._

“ _Locked and secured,” he saw the screen in front of him turn all green. The rest was cakewalk as the continued the procedures. Euphie's voice was a constant and welcomed presence as they entered the Drift, brief flashes of images, all flowing through them as they connected together again._

“ _Right hemisphere aligned,” he lifted his right hand and out of the corner of his eye, saw his partner do the same._

“ _Left hemisphere aligned,” their left hand lifted before they curled it into a fist and punched the right. More of a kung fu bow of respect than one of kendo or karate, but there was some humor to it._

_They shared grins. “Let's go kick this kaiju's ass.”_

“ _Gipsy, you are to hold off on the Miracle Mile. This kaiju moves fast in the water. Don't let it get behind you,” Marshal Tohdoh's voice echoed in their shared headspace and in their ears._

_Suzaku frowned. They both noticed a ping of a civilian on their radar. “Sir, there's a ship ten miles out-”_

“ _Hold the Miracle Mile. He slipped past the Gages. He won't slip past us.”_

_Suzaku released the comm button and met his gaze. “That's cold...” he could feel the annoyance and frustration._

_His partner glanced at him. “You know what I'm thinking-”_

Every single person we save is a person that doesn't have to be mourned. We'll save everyone.

“ _I'm in your head,” he raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. “Let's go.”_

“ _Guys, what are you doing?” Milly Ashford's voice cut into their feeds. They glanced up and he flicked a switch that would turn Gipsy's main headlamp on and off – an equivalent of a wink – that he knew she would see in the lead Jumphawk._

“ _Gipsy-”_

_Suzaku flipped the sound off of Tohdoh's attempt to question them as they moved through the water, headed towards where the radar was pinging the location of the boat._

I though PPDC sent a warning to ships in the affected area?

They should have. But money is money.

Great, capitalism. Risking life for just a little bit of money from deep sea fishes.

There's a really dark joke in there-

Don't even think of going there or else you're getting the cold side of the bed tonight.

_His warm chuckle wrapped around them like a blanket. However, he pushed that thought aside as he glanced at the HUD and frowned. “Kaiju's here already.”_

“ _Damn that son of a bitch is fast.”_

“ _Let's be sneaky then.”_

_They dove under the water, walking along the continental shelf. There was no way for Gipsy to swim, but they made a slight effort to at least make their momentum faster as they used their arms to propel themselves forward. The kaiju was a massive blob and murky outline, highlighted with a composited glowing edge by their HUD as they approached. He could see the thick legs, and fused primary arms together to create two arms with three massive claws each. Those would be its primary weapons and they would have to watch out for it along with the anvil-shaped nostril._

Let's get this son of a bitch.

_They rose out of the water, just as the kaiju was about to menace the fishing boat. The warning horn blared twice, a declaration that someone was going down today and it wasn't them. They reached for the boat and scooped it up, leaping and turning back to deposit it behind them so it could flee properly just as they felt the claws swipe at them and Knifehead roared._

_It was like a gong going off in the conn-pod as they winced. The roar was so loud, almost subsonic to the point where they felt it in their bones. Staggering a little under the disorientation of the roar, they swung their arm back and threw a wild haymaker at the beast, sending it reeling. They followed up with another punch, catching it right at the nose section, sending it into the water._

Yeah, take that you fucker!

_Locking their elbows up high, they pounded it right on the head with a double-fisted strike. The kaiju ate a mouth full of seawater before it seemingly spat it back out and lunged at them._

_They caught the mouth in the left hand, stepping back to absorb the blow, grinning as the kaiju's pitiful teeth couldn't quite chew through tons of iron. Ripping their arm out of its mouth, they grabbed part of the sharpened nose section._

“ _Crank it! Come on, shoot it, shoot it!”_

“ _I'm on it, I'm on it!” he shouted at Suzaku's call, knowing that they had the advantage. Knifehead evaded out of their grip and made a desperate lunge towards them before he got two shots off into its underbelly, sending it right back into the water. It screeched in the throes of death as it disappeared into the waves, falling silent._

_They both laughed before Suzaku pressed the button to get the comms back on. Euphie's voice crackled across._

“ _\--charge off the shallows seven miles off the coast, sir!”_

“ _Gipsy what's going on?!” Tohdoh did not sound amused._

_They shared a grin with each other._

“ _Job's done sir, lit up the bastard twice! Bagged our fifth kill!”_

“ _You disobeyed a direct order!”_

Oh, you're in deep shit now Suzaku.

What do you mean me?! You're in deep shit too, _Suzaku shot back with an affronted look._

_He chuckled and decided to at least help out his partner. “Respectfully sir, we intercepted a kaiju and saved everyone on that boat.”_

“ _Get back to your post, now!” Tohdoh really did not sound happy._

At least we face the music together.

_He agreed to the sentiment and made to turn around before Euphie's frantic voice cut in._

“ _Kaiju signature rising!”_

_They froze. What? But that couldn't-_

“ _Gipsy, we're still getting a signature! That thing is still alive!” The anger was gone from Tohdoh's voice, replaced by an urgency they never heard before._

What the fucking hell?! _Their thoughts were aligned on this one as they looked around, trying to see where the slippery bastard was. How did it survive? They had blasted it twice! In the soft underbelly! The weak spot!_

“ _Grab the boat and get out of there!” Tohdoh ordered. “Do you copy? Grab the boat and get out of there NOW-”_

 _They turned just in time to reel from a vicious swipe of Knifehead's claws. They automatically reacted, grabbing the beast as it chomped its jaws at them._ Holy fucking hell! What the shit?! _They struggled against the heavy weight that was forced upon them. It battered them, claws swiping at their chest, screeches of metal being torn apart, and they felt themselves being thrown about, but they had to keep the snapping jaws_ away _from their face!_

_Their face-_

“ _Get it Suzaku!” He barked._

“ _I got this!” Suzaku lifted his arm to prep his side of the cannon, charging it-_

 _When suddenly Knifehead did something they- no_ he _thought impossible. It forced the plasmacaster down as if it knew it was about to fire. At the same time, they realized that they were too close-_

Too close!

_And then Suzaku screamed, clutching his left arm. He stared horrified at the sight of electrical arcs running through his partner's side. The screens on their HUD filled with blinking red lights, the left arm ripped away from them- from him._

No! _He grimaced, his own arm twitching in sympathy to his partner's pain. “LOCENT we're hit!”_

_He barely heard the crackle of Euphie saying something over the comms as a multitude of alarms began to blare in the conn-pod. He could feel their syncing dropping as Suzaku clutched his arm, his screams echoing both in his head and in the pod itself._

_They rocked back, reeling from another brutal hit, Knifehead's roars disorienting them further. But by this time, he couldn't think- He needed to act- He couldn't- How the hell did it happen- The kaiju- It knew how to deflect-_

_The sudden cold that burst in, arctic wind mingled with the salty smell of seawater made him realize that something was terribly wrong. He could_ see _Knifehead, in all of its ugly glory, not as the HUD displayed him in a shimmering outline, but rather, just blue spidery veins, traveling up through the teeth-filled mouth-_

_The conn-pod had been breached. And he realized that this was the face of death. That the kaiju was aiming for them. For the pilots._

_He turned, staring desperately at Suzaku. Reaching out to him._ Lelouch _knew what was going to happen._

“ _Suzaku, listen to me-!”_

 _There was nothing else said as a dying scream filled the air and keenly echoed in Suzaku's mind before it_ snapped _leaving a sudden void-_

NO! Lelouch! LELOUCH! NO!

 _He kept screaming his name, rage, sorrow, denial filling him. Lelouch wasn't dead! He couldn't be dead!_ NO _, he roared echoing Knifehead's roar at the same time._ I won't believe it! _All he could see, all he could hear was Lelouch's voice echoing in his head. He knew he had to-they had to finish it. That he couldn't live without him- That he could_ feel _Lelouch's thoughts right before he felt nothing from him. Where was he? He was just here- He couldn't- They couldn't-_

Lelouch where are you?! Come back! NO! COME BACK! I can't- We can't- I-

 _Instinct took over now, as he could feel his mind straining with transferring the cannon controls over. He had to do it. Lelouch would have wanted him to. He would finish this, and then maybe, maybe he would be able to see him after. After he just ended this- All he had to do was crank it once, the charge building- He yelled, his cries echoing as Knifehead roared. He would be able to join Lelouch after this. After this...after-_ _**FIRE!** _


	12. Chapter 12

Euphie hoped no one could see her hands shaking as she stared at the monitors in front of her. As soon as she had initiated the neural handshake, it had devolved into a dangerous sync ratio that set off all kinds of alarms. She watched, horrified, as the numbers tumbled down into the single digits. Her training kicked in and she had tried to disengage the sync, but the computer would not accept her commands. Even a master override had been denied. Nothing could could pull Suzaku and Zero out of the the instant RABIT they had fallen into.

Their comms were also eerily silent, unresponsive to her frantic calls. Had she made a mistake in her insistence? Had she pushed Zero too hard and this was the result? Euphie never seen such a thing, even when she received her training at the Academy. It frightened her. Even Gino's willful break with Luciano Bradley in Lucky Seven – in the middle of combat – had never produced such a result.

She clenched her hands together, praying to God or whomever was watching over them that they survived the RABIT. She did not want to admit that she knew what memory would cause such a dangerous sync level.

“We can't pull the plug, sir. It's the way we're all wired in. It's going to shut down Striker's section-”

Euphie pulled herself from her despairing thoughts to see Anna Clement trying to explain to Tohdoh about the computer system that controlled the Pons and neural connections.

She looked back at the telemetry. “It's my fault,” she whispered, wondering what she could do. The Pons showed jagged red lines that looked like someone had jumped a heart monitor to the maximum setting. Their brain waves were off the chart.

“Uh, Princess,” one of the lead Pons technicians called and she turned, forcing back the urge to cry. “Their, uh, heart rates are surprisingly steady.”

“What?” Euphie blinked before getting up from her seat and rounding to the man's station. Anna joined her, as did Tohdoh.

The technician was right. Aside from the warning beeps, low numbers and jagged brain waves, the pulse and heart rates were very steady.

Almost as if they were already synced.

“But-”

“That doesn't make sense,” Euphie finished for Anna. “It's as if...” She trailed off as she went back to her station and brought up a few more monitors, a deeper dive than the initial brain telemetry being sent back. The alpha waves were definitely showing signs of following the RABIT. It was the most distinctive marker of whether a pilot was about to fall into one or was coming out of one. Most of the veteran pilots showed normal alpha waves with rare spikes. Spikes were normal for first time Drifters at the Academy and also a hallmark of whether or not pilot-candidates were able to cope with full-on Drifting after passing all other tests.

But that was also measured along with the body responses and other nervous system readouts.

The next marker were the high gamma waves, which was indicative of cognitive processing. They were – to Euphie's surprise – rather normal looking. In fact, looking at theta and delta waves, they were all surprisingly normal. Everything would have been spiking if they were truly out of sync. This...this data...

“What...?” Anna sounded utterly baffled next to her.

She looked back up at the readouts. “They're...syncing,” she murmured.

“Euphemia?” Tohdoh's voice was gruff behind her.

“I don't want to jinx it, but I think they're syncing, sir,” she replied. “Chasing a really bad RABIT for sure, but actually syncing.”

“How can that be?”

“Look,” she pointed to the main alpha wave. It was slowly getting a little less jagged as the seconds ticked by. Mere minutes had only passed, but she wondered how long the two had been chasing the RABIT. All pilots were warned that RABITs could feel like they lasted hours in when it was just mere seconds in the real world. Time was a fickle thing when it came to the mind. It was why it was always recommended to count out loud or against a physical marker than to count in someone's head. Cognitive decisions were made so fast by veteran pilots that barely any communication needed to be said. The more vocal ones were either for the benefit of LOCENT or for new pilot pairs as they got used to each other's minds. The Gage twins were eerie like that, once almost going through a whole battle without speaking to anyone but themselves.

“Wow...they are syncing...”

“But- how?” Ohgi rolled his seat over and peered over her shoulder. “That's...”

“What's going on?” Gino's voice blared across the comms.

“Gipsy's pilots are apparently syncing while following a really bad RABIT?” Tamaki, one of the technicians that was assigned to Striker replied back into the comms. “Ohgi's getting some info right now.”

“Wait, Gipsy is being sortied?!” Both Kallen and Gino sounded shocked.

“Who's piloting with Suzaku?”

“Never mind that, who the hell authorized it?!” Kallen stepped on Gino's question.

Euphie ignored their questions as she watched the spikes settle more and more into the familiar waves of synchronicity. She couldn't believe it. They actually did it. They conquered the RABIT or at least came to terms with it all on their own.

“Wow...” she murmured. She was so proud of them, that what she had feared did not come to pass. That they were able to overcome the moment that had broken them. “You did it guys...” she said quietly.

“What...”

She glanced at Anna for a second before smiling at Tohdoh, but she knew that everyone in LOCENT heard her. “Knifehead,” she stated simply.

* * *

The images of Knifehead and of that horrible day slowly faded from Suzaku's eyes as the familiar and  _ intact _ conn-pod of Gipsy Danger resolved around him. He blinked, his mind still trying to come to terms with what he had just experienced. It...couldn't be...could it? He was suddenly afraid-

And inexplicably also felt another fear, but it was foreign, like it didn't fit into his mind so well. It rubbed the edges of the bond that had been so violently snapped raw. He turned, staring at the man that hung in the harness next to him. Zero. That was- No...

“I-Is...” he found his mouth dry before gathering up the courage again. “Is it...really you?” His hand tentatively reached out, across the gap that separated the two hemispheres of the Jaeger's brain. His movement was mirrored by the man.

“...So it would seem.”

Their fingers touched across the gap. In that moment, Suzaku knew that the man that stood on his left – who once stood on his right – was none other than his long-lost lover and partner, Lelouch Lamperouge, ne é vi Britannia. He wanted to cry; relief, sorrow, love along with a myriad of emotions he couldn't begin to identify overwhelming him as he dropped his hand to his side. He could feel salty tears falling down his face.

But one emotion in particular rose above it as tried to control himself. A furious anger spiked in him.  _ How dare- _

“I'm sorry,” Lelouch's voice was quiet, withdrawn.

“S-Sorry?! Just...sorry?! You- You-” He couldn't even get the words out, white-hot rage filling him. He wanted nothing more than to grab the smug bastard – his everything, his world – and beat the living shit out of him for putting him through  _ five years of fucking hell _ .

Lelouch winced, apologetic, shame, apprehension conveyed through their bond. “I...probably deserve it-”

“Damn fucking straight you fucking asshole!”

“But...we have a job to do-”

“Fuck you!” he shouted at him, but he also knew that it was without heat. Lelouch was right.  _ Goddamn bastard is always fucking right,  _ he silently grumbled. The rawness of their joining was like an imperfect fuse, but it felt  _ so good _ . So right. He suddenly hated that it felt so right. How could Lelouch have done that to him?! He shook his head, forcing himself to focus, to try to ignore his own frayed emotions and that of Lelouch's. He could feel the sliver of trepidation, of a sense of being overwhelmed and the attempt to keep composure. A small part of him viciously enjoyed the fact that for all of his attempts to be aloof, Lelouch – no, Zero – had not predicted that he too would be completely overwhelmed by this.  _ Good _ .

“Fuck you,” he shot at the other man again, feeling emotionally drained. He righted himself in the harness rig and shook his head. They had a specific reason they were in this conn-pod at this very moment. He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, forcing himself to remember Tohdoh's lesson on patience.

_A whole day of doing nothing but sitting_ , a stray thought entered his mind. It suddenly stoked the embers of anger that he thought he had tamped down. He snapped open his eyes and glared at Lelouch.

“Don't,” he warned verbally. _Don't even fucking think I've forgiven you. Just a fucking pitiful sorry isn't going to cut it_. He thought furiously at his formerly dead friend.

Lelouch, to his surprise, was silent.

He marshaled his thoughts again, suppressing the violent urge to rip himself out of the harness, deactivate the handshake and beat the crap out of his best friend for doing this to him. He could feel a mental twitch clear across and realized that particular thought had leaked out. A small part him reveled in cowing Lelouch into silence. But he suppressed it. It was not the time. He had a job to do here and he was going to do it.

He wordlessly lifted his right hand, noting out of the corner of his eye, Lelouch doing the same, syncing them together. The left came up and the on-board computer indicated that they were now fully synced in their movements. They set themselves into a ready stance, arms held up, temple and chin level. He had to focus and repeated the mantra to himself.

“Gipsy Danger, fully synced,” Euphie's voice echoed in their heads and he couldn't help flinching at her voice. She had known...and she had said that she couldn't tell him-

“Leave her out of it,” Lelouch warned and he shot a look at his partner. _If you ever cared for her, you will leave her alone_.

He shot him a dark look, but nodded his head once. His anger was solely focused on Lelouch. He would never blame Euphie. He keyed the comm. “Euphie, rollers or-”

“Hang on-”

Euphie's voice was abruptly cut out as their HUD flashed a warning of an incoming kaiju.  _Shit_ , he swore as he stared at the new information on their screens. “Otachi-”

“No, a new one,” Lelouch replied tightly and he punched a few buttons on his tactical screen. To Suzaku's dismay, it was a new kaiju. Damn Zero, damn Lelouch and Dr. Asplund had been right. It was a double event. Two kaiju for the price of one.

“Leatherback,” he murmured as he studied the outline and profile. It was massive, one of the largest Category 4s ever. With legs as thick as redwood tree trunks, the thing was built for heavy weight and displacement.

They could hear the clanking sounds above them, a sign that they were opening the main silo hatch to let the Jumphawks pull them out and drop them off on the Miracle Mile instead of opening the hanger doors.

“Gipsy, we're pulling you out,” Euphie confirmed a second later.

Suzaku pushed the button on his side of the comm. “Roger.” He released it as he glanced over to see Lelouch's eyes narrowed behind his semi-opaque helmet.

“Another swimmer,” his partner muttered.

“But the legs-”

“Look at the arms,” Lelouch shook his head. “Large width and shovel-like. This thing can power itself through water. It probably uses its legs for leverage.” A grim smile appeared on his face. “Armored plates of sort on the front. And the crest around the head. It knows we attack from the front.”

“It's like a twisted version of Gipsy's protective back plates,” Suzaku could see it now.

“Yeah,” Lelouch growled out. “Fucking kaiju. They know what they wanted to do when they sent this one out or held it in reserve. Whatever... Otachi was the warm up. Leatherback is designed to finish off whatever resistance we have.”

“They knew we had at least one in reserve?” Suzaku was astonished. “But...how?”

His partner chuckled darkly and Suzaku got a flash of an image through their shared bond.

“ _They got smarter,” he watched her carefully as she sat down. His violet eyes met her golden ones. “They knew-”_

“ _They know. And I will tell you how,” C.C. replied. “And I will tell you how it relates to the Power of Kings you now hold.”_

Suzaku snapped back to reality as he caught himself staring at Lelouch. “That was-”

Lelouch ignored him and stabbed the comm button. “Tohdoh! Something's not right here. Patch me through to Striker Eureka!”

“Patching,” Euphie's returned.

There was the sudden squawk before Gino and Kallen's breaths echoed in their ears. The creak of metal indicated that they were moving around, alert and wary while in the Miracle Mile.

“-The hell is that dangly thing above it?” Kallen was saying. It sounded like they were also studying the new information that came in from K-Watch.

“New weapon,” Lelouch cut in.

They both winced as a sudden scratching sound echoed in their comms. He glanced over to Lelouch who shook his head. It wasn't him. But Kallen's voice was still loud and clear.

“Wait- is that-”

“No-”

“It's _Zero_ ,” Lelouch emphasized tightly. Suzaku realized that without the voice modulator, and the fact that Gino and Kallen both were familiar with Lelouch, they could more than likely identify him by voice alone. Another thought chased that one. Lelouch was speaking on the comms which transmitted to LOCENT. Everyone that was in LOCENT could hear him, including their Jumphawk pilots whenever he depressed the button.

He frowned, not knowing what to make of this new development. Lelouch's warning to not blame Euphie coupled with  _her_ warning about why she knew and why she kept his name a secret bothered him greatly.

“New weapon? What do you mean by new weapon?” Suzaku asked over the general comms, knowing he could have easily asked Lelouch, but felt the need to deflect the attention his partner had just gotten. He ignored the small wave of gratefulness from his partner. _You're not forgiven_ , he shot back.

“It has to be,” Lelouch replied tightly. On the surface, it didn't seem like he had been affected by the anger, but Suzaku knew him. “Otachi had acid. That's a new weapon. Be careful-”

“Whoa shit! Gino--!” Kallen voice was suddenly cut off just as the roar of the kaiju filtered through. Leatherback arrived.

Suzaku glanced at Lelouch, meeting his concerned gaze before he pushed the comm button. “Jumper Prime, what's the status on the lift?” He had not heard the normal cables being hooked onto Gipsy's shoulders since the cranking of the silo port had just finished opening.

There was no answer. He keyed the comm again. “Jumper Prime do you copy?”

“We're--” Jumper Prime's Support Chief's voice cut in and out, “--cranking --ches!” Static filled the comms before the voice came back “--grade directed EMP--. Comms-- ffected.”

“LOCENT?” Suzaku keyed a general broadcast, dread forming in him. There was no answer, but the sounds of the silo slowly creaking open above them was heard. He realized that a team on the ground was manually cranking the thing open. This was bad. If they couldn't get hold of LOCENT, it meant whatever EMP had apparently been unleashed affected most of the electronics if it wasn't shielded. He brought up a diagnostic view of Gipsy, noting that she was still reading all green.

“We're nuclear,” Lelouch met his gaze with a frown of his own. “Analog.”

“Not Striker,” he shook his head.

“Fuck,” Lelouch swiped the diagnostic panel away, echoing Suzaku's silent sentiment.

He hoped Striker had adequate shielding, but depending on the EMP strength and the type... He inwardly shook his head. Who knew what the kaiju had now. It felt like hours, but a glance at the clock, told him that mere seconds had passed. The cranking above them stopped when the telltale whipping sound of cables being lowered was heard. More clanging noises were heard before the sudden creak of metal followed by a slow lifting sensation rocked them gently in their harness. He could feel relief passing over him. They were moving, they were finally moving.

Suzaku brought up the main HUD, as they rose out of the hanger bay's silo and flew towards the Miracle Mile's waters. The visiblity was shit with the tropical fog and remnants of the previous Jaeger vs kaiju fight creating a hazy fog of sorts.

“There!” Lelouch pointed out, and Suzaku could feel where to look.

He nodded. “Got it. He's big,” he stated. Leatherback was a murky dark coloration with glowing blue veins of kaiju blood running through it. In the inky darkness against half of Hong Kong's power blacked out, they could barely see it. It was only Striker Eureka's Jumphawks hovering over it, high enough that they weren't seemingly affected by the EMP, but low enough for their spotlights to shine on the beast.

_Striker's down,_ he caught Lelouch's stray thought and saw that indeed, the Mark V was completely dark and limp, standing in the water like a puppet with its strings cut.

_Why isn't it attacking?_ He wondered.

_It's thinking,_ Lelouch narrowed his eyes.  _It could easily rip out the conn-pod, but I think it's still intact-_

_What the hell-_ Both of them watched as the escape hatch to Striker suddenly opened and out stepped both Gino and Kallen. They could barely make out something in their hands, their small forms specks against Striker's own form. The kaiju lumbered near them, a head taller than Striker Eureka. Its back was turned against Gipsy as it focused on Kallen and Gino.

Bewildered, they watched as their friends' tiny forms pointed something at Leatherback before red flares shot out. One actually struck Leatherback and the kaiju flinched, angrily wiping at its eyes before letting loose a roar shook even Gipsy's conn-pod. They could almost see it before the kaiju even considered lifting its meaty arms up to pound the pilots of Striker Eureka into pulpy messes.  _Oh shit, that is so not good._

_Horn, horn, horn-_

_Yeah I know!_ Suzaku jammed the button that was the warning horn and Gipsy Danger sounded its arrival.

“Drop us!” He snapped over the comm.

“Sir!” They heard the snap hiss of the cabling loosening and the sudden swooping sensation of dropping before they impacted the water.

“All Jumphawks get high, this is going to get ugly!” Lelouch warned as they saw Leatherback turn, and roared its fury at them.

_Let's get dangerous_ , they set tight grins on their faces as they shifted around the water, watching their opponent warily. Noting all of the data that had been analyzed, they let the kaiju make the first move, lunging towards them. They met it with an aikido throw, sending the beast reeling before Gipsy swiftly moved around to the back and grappled with the aforementioned 'dangly thing' that Kallen had called.

Leatherback screeched, struggling against the pain it was feeling, but they held on, grasping onto the soft squishy object and pulled. It was like pulling a hardened piece of gum from hair, but they succeeded and ripped it out. Throwing it away, they immediately leapt away from the angry kaiju as it swiped at it them with two meaty paws. They laughed, knowing that the weapon which had surely been responsible for the EMP was now destroyed.

The beast suddenly lunged again, its legs cannoning forward. They tried to dance out of the way, but the was caught up on a small sandbar and uneven footing. Gipsy struggled, as it was suddenly caught in the Leatherback's arms, trying to squeeze the life out of it. Suzaku pressed a button for the dual swords to pop out and slashed at the arms, trying to break free when they suddenly found themselves flying through the air. Suzaku immediately sheathed the swords so they wouldn't be broken as they tumbled head over heels into shipping containers and all sorts of items that was in the port of Hong Kong.

Explosions rattled around them, but they rolled into the fall and came up on their knees, stopping themselves with their hands flat to the ground. The defiant roar from Leatherback made them look up to see the kaiju lumbering towards them, coming out of the water. It looked to tear them apart.

_Not today_ , Lelouch echoed their thoughts darkly. They pushed off of the ground, running to meet the kaiju. At the last second, they activated the jets, flying a few feet off before Suzaku activated the right hand blade and stabbed the kaiju in the arm. It roared and tried to batter them with its left fist. But they spun, whirling in the opposite direction while they wrenched their right arm, dragging the blade across Leatherback's forearm before it hitched on the kaiju's dense bone and retracted it. They finished the move with a solid kick towards what should have been the ball joint of where it connected with the kaiju's shoulder mass. A resounding crack filled the air as the arm squirted kaiju blood and hit the ground with a solid thump. It now hung limply, tatters of broken skin, bone and sinew visible in the lights that shone on it from the Jumphawks overhead.

They had a moment to breathe as the kaiju seemingly stared at the broken arm for a moment. It turned, its triple eyes glowing with fury and opened its mouth. A screaming roar, so loud, shook the air before them. Suzaku and Lelouch cried out as it hit the conn-pod, amplifying and shaking them in their harness. They clamped their ears, trying to drown out the sound, but suddenly felt vibrations of the kaiju charging and dropped their hands to meet the charge, sending them back against the rig with bruising force.

Leatherback clawed at them with its good hand, its jaws snapping angrily at them. The gripped one of the bony plates near its face, trying to pull the jaws away from the conn-pod. They won't go down so easily again, not like Knifehead, not ever! Lelouch activated their plasmacaster and fired.

“Empty the clip!” Suzaku shouted.

They fired from the hip again, the blast catching the kaiju under its wounded arm, but it still kept pushing, determined to either crush them to death or bite their heads off. They kept firing, pulse after pulse after pulse, blue blood splashing everywhere until they could feel Leatherback's steps faltering, the great heaving gasps as it tried to take breaths before it finally slumped into their arms.

They tossed the beast off and it rolled to the ground, its arm completely blown off and blood dripping everywhere from the gaping hole in its upper chest that the plasmacaster had made. Suzaku stared at the beast. “Check it for a pulse.”

Lelouch smiled darkly and obliged, firing three more rounds, cracking open its rib cage and setting fire to the plasma and blood that was everywhere. “No pulse,” he friend echoed with a sardonic smile.

The smile was suddenly wiped off of their faces as something crashed into them from behind, sending them flying forward. Suzaku hissed as he felt a sharp shooting pain crawl up his chest. It suddenly hurt to breathe. He blearily looked up, his vision hazily taking in the form of Otachi, apparently somewhat intact, landing on a port crane above them with its  _wings_ spread out.

_Well...that's new_ , both he and Lelouch thought. They pushed themselves back up, Suzaku grimacing against the pain. Either cracked or broken ribs, he was sure of it. He was also sure that he, or perhaps they, had a mild concussion judging by how hard they had been hit from Leatherback. In the Drift, he could feel the echo of the same pain, though it seemed Lelouch was in better condition than he was.

Still, he shook off the pain and focused. They set themselves in a wary ready stance, watching the now-flight capable kaiju as it hissed down at them. Blue blood dripped down its front, courtesy of the acid pouch that Crimson Typhoon had taken down before it was out of commission. However, there was something odd about it.

“It looked grafted...”

“But smaller?” he echoed their shared sentiment.

The prehensile tail whipped back and forth in the air, hanging over Otachi's head like a scorpion stinger. Its tri-clawed grip snapped at them. Growls emerged from Otachi's dripping mouth before it suddenly snapped its wings open and screamed.

They charged at the kaiju, just as it spat acid at them. Leaping to the side, they ducked under the stream and blocked a heavy blow from its tail as it lashed out at them. _Catch it!_ The echo of the command resounded in them as one hand grasped the clubbed part, trying to keep it close while their other hand activated the blade. They twisted towards Otachi, bringing them closer to the wings and acidic maw, the scrape and screech of metal grating on their ears as they pulled the kaiju from its perch.

Rolling against the weight on top of them, they kept their grips firmly on the tail and sliced downward with their left hand. The sword cut deep into the original wound that Crimson Typhoon had ripped open. Otachi thrashed and clawed at them. They tried to duck away from its massive leg claws, only to yelp as they felt something puncture their lower back.

“Fuck! It's got leverage-”

Lelouch didn't finish his warning as they suddenly gasped, finding themselves slammed into the concrete ground with bone jarring force. Suzaku's world became a sudden splash of white from the pain of both his bruised ribs and back. However, he gritted his teeth and continued to cut. They could feel it, they were almost there-

Stars exploded in the back of their heads again as they were slammed into the ground once more. Otachi's roar of rage deafened them and they could feel something liquid dripping down the side of their heads. But they kept cutting-

“Vent the coolant!” The idea came to him in a brilliant flash of insight.

Lelouch reached over and tapped a few buttons before the warning that coolant was being vented echoed around them. They continued to press the blade, Otachi thrashing under them-

_Now!_ Suzaku twisted the blade just so and it broke through the rest of the tail, shattering the thickest portion along with the left hand blade into tiny little pieces as it was frozen solid by the liquid nitrogen. However, they didn't have time to celebrate their good fortune as Otachi screamed again, this time, completely directing its roars at them to the point where he thought he was about to go insane from the noise. It stopped and he spat blood out of his mouth, the coppery taste bitter. He could feel it dripping from his nose and ears. The next thing he knew, a swooping sensation followed by the powerful sound of something beating a low drum was coupled by the ground rapidly falling away from them.

“Shit,” he spat out another wad of blood. They were in the air, being _carried_ up by the kaiju. He activated the right hand blade, attempting to cut the beast in half from the angle that they were being carried at was derailed by Otachi slamming them into several buildings on their way up.

Suzaku's vision whited out from the amount of feedback he was getting coupled with his injuries, and it was only Lelouch's presence in his mind, seemingly  _holding_ him that kept him from passing out. He came to again to see that they were very high up now and that their oxygen filters were slowly leaking from the lack of atmospheric pressure. Gipsy Danger was definitely not built and sealed properly for atmospheric drops.

He turned to Lelouch and was not surprised to see that his best friend looked almost like he did. Both of their helmets were cracked and blood dripped from their noses. Lelouch looked a little better than he fared, but his bright violet eyes, ones that he remembered so fondly, were chipped and alight with the same fervor that had drawn him in long ago. Suzaku realized, this was the first time he had seen those eyes in five long years. And if he was going to die, at least he would die seeing those eyes one last time.

“We're not out of options yet,” the corner of Lelouch's lips were quirked up in their familiar devil-may-care attitude.

He tapped the panel between them and the image of Gipsy's chest core popped up. Suzaku's grin was wolfish. He knew exactly what they needed to do. “Let's burn this son of a bitch.”

They brought up their right blade again and stabbed it into Otachi's neck, the remnants of the small pouch of acid dripping down their hand and arm, melting away the armored plates. However, they grasped the bony neck and  _pulled_ themselves closer to Otachi, just as Lelouch stabbed the button to activate a fuel burn.

Gipsy Danger's whine became high pitched before a burst of light pulsed through, cutting through the kaiju's chest and thin body.

And suddenly, they were falling through the atmosphere.

Red-orange flames licked the edges of their HUD and they immediately spread both hands and legs out, trying to maximize the drag and spread the heat to the places where the acid and damage taken had not burned off their armor. Suzaku shook his head as he took stock of the damage. “We're not going to make it, we're coming in too hot!”

“We'll make it,” Lelouch replied tightly, pressing a few more buttons. He reached over to the main panel between them and flipped a few switches.

Suzaku knew what his partner was trying to do and deactivated the sword, sheathing it as they adjusted their very short flight path. He felt a pull on his navel as Lelouch fired the chest core once more, draining their power again. He aimed for the water of the Miracle Mile, trying to direct their controlled fall so that they wouldn't hit land. Flipping the comms, he hoped that LOCENT or even Striker Eureka could hear them.

“We're coming in hot!” he shouted. “Aiming for the Miracle Mile! Striker! Get out of the way!”

He couldn't see much as they fell through the cloudy fog layer just as Lelouch fired a quick burst once more, trying to slow them further down. At the very last minute, they righted themselves, feet first, arms crossed in an approximation of presenting the smallest target possible-

It was like hitting concrete as they slammed into the water. They automatically crouched, letting their legs absorb the blow as it shuddered and shook the whole Jaeger. A second later, another impact made them grimace, the pain of slamming into the seafloor traveling up to their hips. It felt like they had almost broken their legs and Suzaku briefly wondered if they did. He was already aching over, but the jolt of pain from the impacts took most of his breath away.  _Get up!_

“Get up,” he growled, mostly to himself, but also to Lelouch as their shared pain echoed along their bond. They had to get up, they had to move. Standing, they could prove that they survived. All they had to do was stand. Their breaths were harsh in their ears as they made one last effort.

Gipsy Danger rose out of the ocean like a demonic entity that had come from the depths of a watery hell. She was heavily battered, injured, but nonetheless stood proudly in defiance of the odds that had been stacked against her. For five long years she had no pilots, left in the scrap heap of the Jaeger Graveyard. A relic of a one forgotten golden age. But now, she stood like a silent sentinel, a symbol of humanity's tenacity and will. She gave hope to those who had none.

Gipsy Danger and her pilots were reborn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suzaku's reaction to Lelouch being alive was inspired by "Code Geass: Lelouch of the Re;surrection." Also, I changed up Leatherback and Otachi fights with Gipsy Danger a little b/c of the way the characters act and react to combat situations. While it was awesome seeing the original fight in "Pacific Rim" (woohoo, shipping crates knuckle dusters and sword-ship!) - to me it was more of a lesson for Mako Mori in learning how to drift with Raleigh. In this case, we have two veteran pilots who would readily end the fight faster than to drag it out all over the dockyards and in the city.


	13. Prelude I

_September 10_ _th_ _, 2013_

“Announcing Prince Lelouch vi Britannia, 17th heir to the Royal Britannian Imperial throne!”

At fourteen-years-old, Lelouch was well aware of his every step, expression and dress in the eyes of the Court. It was why he wore his most formal outfit, the white ceremonial with cape, to present himself to the Emperor. He had been aware of the court politics and the intrigue since he was ten after a botched assassination attempt on his mother which had left her fighting for her life. She survived, but the few weeks in which the doctors frantically tried to save her life had been fraught with the dangers of both court and that of his own name.

The courtiers bowed, their heads and eyes closed in respect as he walked with steady steps down the blood red carpet towards the imposing form of the Emperor who sat on his throne. He heard the rumors and whispers of those around him.

“I heard Marianne was killed in her Knightmare-”

“Could it be a deliberate sabotage-?”

“She did survive a botched assassination attempt-”

“Beware, my friend! You'll regret starting up that rumor again! Look what happened to-”

“And yet, he walks so steadily as if his mother did not die just under a month ago!”

“I heard Lady Marianne was formally laid to rest yesterday.”

“And he's now here?! Seeking an audience?!”

“A whole three weeks for a period of mourning? She wasn't even an Empress!”

“He is fourteen. Look at what Schneizel-”

“Was it an open casket-”

“No- Too much toxic substance and radiation-”

“But he has no path to the throne now...”

“And the Ashford family who backed them is finished, too.”

“And his sister, the Princess?”

“I heard she lost use of her legs and also her sight. Hysterical blindness or perhaps radiation poisoning. The doctors aren't saying.”

“It's the same thing. She can't even be married for political gain now.”

Lelouch stopped at the bare minimal respectful distance, his feet coming together in a short bow that was borderline disrespectful. He trembled, his fists clenched beneath the crimson cape he wore. It was clasped together with the brooch and seal of the Britannian Empire, but the emblem in the back was that of Marianne's House crest, the vi Britannias.

“Your Majesty! My mother has passed away!” He declared stiffly.

“Old news, what of it?” Emperor Charles zi Britannia raised an eyebrow.

Lelouch reeled. He was shocked at how callous the Emperor sounded as he attempted to marshal his composure. He couldn't show weakness now. Not if he wished to have answers. The pit of vipers that was the Emperor's court would swallow him whole – including some of his more ambitious siblings.

“You sought an audience with the Emperor of Britannia simply to tell me that?!” Charles shook his head and looked to one of his advisors. “Send in the next person! I have no time to babysit a child!”

“Father!” The shock gave way to rage as Lelouch as he stepped forward. However, he paused mid-step as the personal guards moved to stop him. But they had only gotten two steps towards him when the Emperor lifted a hand and they returned to their posts.

Lelouch swallowed heavily, trying to keep his voice steady. “Why did you allow her to go out?” He started, but he could feel the unbridled furious anger and hurt breaking the dam that he had tried to hold inside him. “Why did you authorize it? Why didn't you order her to stay?! You're the Emperor! The greatest man in this nation! You knew her condition after that attempt four years ago! You knew she was too weak to pilot a Knightmare anymore!” He glared at the man that was his father and the Emperor of the Britannian Empire. “You should have protected her! And now you don't even visit Nunnally-”

“I have no use for weaklings!” The Emperor cut him off ruthlessly.

“...Weaklings?”

“That's what it means to be royalty,” the man declared, a sneer on his lips.

Lelouch trembled, his rage becoming white-hot. How dare- How could- His thoughts kept slamming into one another before he finally lifted his head to pierce the man's own eyes with a deep-seeded hated look of his own. “Then I don't  _want_ to be your heir!”

The courtiers gasped.

“I've had enough of the fighting and the scheming over who will succeed you!”

The Emperor chuckled. “You are dead.”

Lelouch took a step back, startled.

“You've been dead from the moment you were born. Who gave you the clothes you wear? Your home, your food, your very life? All of those, I have given to you! In short, you have never actually lived! And yet you _dare_ speak such foolishness to me?!” The Emperor stood up from his throne and Lelouch stumbled, falling to the ground hard, terror gripping him.

Had he made a misstep? Had he completely underestimated his father's temperament? He could only watch, terrified beyond belief as the man took a few steps forward and loomed over him. His violet eyes bored into his own. They spoke of death. “And so,” the Emperor pronounced, “Lelouch, as you are dead, you have no rights.” The man smiled, all teeth, and looked to continue to speak before Lelouch found his courage again and pushed past the terror that had gripped him.

He scrambled to his feet. “If I am dead then I renounce my position as a Prince!” He clutched the brooch and cloth of the cape and ripped it off of himself. He threw it to the side, his chest heaving. He couldn't believe the lack of compassion his father- no  _that man_ was never his father. Only the person who had contributed his half of the donor DNA to produce him. Nothing more, nothing less.

He ignored the gasps of the court as he tilted his chin up, staring defiantly at the Emperor. “I renounce my claim to the throne. You cannot use me nor my sister anymore in your schemes! I will make my own path!”

He sketched a short stiff bow, even before the Emperor waved his hand to dismiss him. It was almost beyond impropriety, but Lelouch had enough of his royal training and a healthy dose of not to push his luck  _that_ far after his declaration to make the motions of dismissal before he spun on his heel and stalked away.

The doors slammed shut behind him, a definitive exit from the royal house of the Britannian family if there ever was one.

* * *

“It's so sticky and humid, brother,” Nunnally whimpered quietly. “I don't like it...”

“Shh,” Lelouch soothed her as best as he could, pushing her wheelchair along the terminals of the airport. “It's only temporary, Nunnally. We'll get to the safehouse soon. Just hang on a little longer, okay?”

“Okay...” she clutched her hands to the folds of her dress as they navigated their way through the dense crowds of tourists and businessmen and women who had come with their flight.

Lelouch ran a hand through his own hair, wiping away sticky bangs away from his eyes. Nunnally was right. It was ungodly humid. How could anyone stand such wetness hanging in the air was beyond him. Every breath he took was like drinking a fountain of water. His clothes were stuck in the folds of his skin to the point that he wanted to adjust them just for some relief. But he didn't. He was still prideful of his appearance even though no one recognized him or acknowledged them on the flight.

In a way, it was nice, but also disconcerting. Two weeks had passed since he had stormed out of the Britannian court, stripping himself of his title and his name. One week since he had taken on his new one and it still felt odd. But it was the only way. His only saving grace was that the Ashford family were still allies, even though they had been shamed and driven out of their homes in Palo Alto.

The main branch of the family decided to relocate to Japan, to take full control of the international private academy in Tokyo that had been one of their business ventures long ago. Ashford Academy could have been his and Nunnally's home – it was even offered by the Headmaster – but Lelouch declined. He wanted nothing more than to make sure Nunnally was safe and that her broken health was recovered. The Ashford family offered him use of one of their safehouses on Oahu, one of the chains of islands known as Hawai'i. Secluded and not known by many, it was sold to Lelouch as the perfect place to keep Nunnally hidden. Only the immediate family knew and even then, they had barely used it.

Lelouch hoped it was as it seemed. He barely had any money left, scraping by with the money his mother had socked away before she had married into the royal family. All other accounts had been closed the moment he renounced his title and status. He and Nunnally had been given a month to move out of Aires Villa and during that time, their security had been withdrawn. They were truly commoners now, left to fend for themselves.

None of their half-siblings had visited during that time, but then again, Lelouch did not know if he would have accepted their visit. His grief for his mother's death at the hands of that...beastly thing was still too raw. He had not been able to even say his proper goodbye to her. Marianne vi Britannia's body had been declared too much of a contaminated hazard and her closed casket had been lead-lined to prevent others from being irradiated.

He supposed the only saving grace was that she was buried in the royal graves, albeit a tomb that was not befitting an Empress, but that of a mere knight. Lelouch had not minded. He knew his mother loved piloting Knightmares and would regale them with bed time stories of her many exploits. But he also knew that a lot of the courtiers had whispered about the perceived affront and thought it was befitting her status as a commoner raised to royal by sleeping with the Emperor and getting with children.

“Lelouch-sama, I will go on ahead to pick up the luggage if that is all right?” Sayoko Shinozaki's voice was soft in his ear and he nodded.

“Yes that would be fine,” he replied quietly and she moved past him, seamlessly blending into the crowd ahead of them.

He had never met a Japanese person before he met Sayoko Shinozaki, or Shinozaki Sayoko as she had introduced herself. It was the first thing he learned about the weird country that the Ashfords had moved to. The people introduced themselves with their last names first. The second thing was that she had tacked something called honorifics to the names of those she interacted with. It didn't take him long to learn what the various ones she used meant, but he still found it odd. Britannian custom dictated more simplified titlings _before_ a person's name. It command respect and he thought it more proper, but he allowed Sayoko her odd quirk. He had heard of the Japanese people, the rumors fueling an invasion of Japan to bring it under Britannian rule because of its massive Sakuradite deposits getting stronger in the last four years. It seemed almost eminent until the earthquake and monster attack over a month ago.

Now, everyone was just talking about recovering, memorializing and building up the army again. Hundreds and thousands of Knigthmares, transportation, air support and ships had perished trying to take down the beast. Some even started to call it a Kaiju – the Japanese word for beast. It seemed rather appropriate and foreign enough that in the last few days, the media had picked up on its usage.

Sayoko had been introduced to him the day he and Nunnally had taken on their new names. A retainer by the Ashfords, Sayoko used to be the maid-in-waiting to Milly Ashford, the heir apparent of the Ashford family. The Japanese woman had been tasked into their care to move to Oahu and help them with any needs they may have. Lelouch did not trust her fully, but he also knew that he didn't have much recourse. He was just grateful that Sayoko was there to help carry both the luggage and to get them sorted at the airport.

Civilian life was something he had been woefully unprepared to face. He still couldn't quite understand some of the weirder intricacies, too used to being waited upon by servants and guards. Checking into the airport was a nightmare, but Sayoko had been there the whole way, guiding him and even apologizing for perceived rudeness he had given to others. He had been readily embarrassed, yet grateful for the Japanese woman's assistance, in the five hour flight time from San Francisco to Oahu.

As he pushed Nunnally in the borrowed wheelchair, he followed the signs that would take them to the luggage carousel. “Do you need to use the restroom?” he asked as saw a line forming as passengers who had just disembarked were waiting to use the facilities.

“No, thank you. Sayoko was able to help me,” Nunnally replied with a hesitant smile.

He reached over and gently squeezed her shoulder. “It's all right Nunnally. I'm here. I will always be here for you.”

“Thank you,” she reached back and clasped her hand on his own.

“Lelouch-sama,” Sayoko suddenly appeared and he nearly jumped a little at her sudden appearance.

“S-Sayoko-”

“I am sorry for startling you,” she bowed her head slightly, but held up her hands which were holding the three large pieces of luggage they had checked in. How she managed to carry it all with seemingly ease was beyond him. “I have the luggage and have confirmed the car we have been given to use.”

“Given?”

“Yes sire,” Sayoko nodded once. “The Ashfords left it in your care. It belongs with the house and was brought by one of their island retainers.”

“But-”

“They have reassured me that the retainer is not known to say anything. He is an old man who was a fisherman in these parts for a long time. He had been tasked with tending to the place until recently.”

“Oh...” Lelouch supposed that was good. Still... “I'd...I'd like to meet him later if it isn't too much trouble.”

“Of course Lelouch-sama. I will arrange it,” Sayoko bowed her head before gesturing with a piece of luggage still in her hand. “Shall we?”

He nodded and followed her, pushing Nunnally with all of his strength. He was already exhausted from pushing her through the airport, but he really did not want anyone else to touch her. It was bad enough that Sayoko had to help bathe and change her bandages along with carrying her to the bathroom, but even Lelouch knew that he couldn't do such things without being rather improper. He supposed it was a good thing the Ashfords had the hindsight to assign a female retainer to help with the more feminine things to care for his beloved little sister.

“Lelouch, you're breathing hard. Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Lelouch tried to reassure her, but he also knew she was right. He was already huffing his breaths and the humidity did nothing to help with his exhaustion. He had not slept on the flight over, his mind too wired up, too tense to consider relaxing. The time difference was also wrecking havoc on his body. It was technically supposed to be night, but was practically the afternoon with the light still out.

They arrived at the car and Lelouch saw it was a simple open-topped jeep. Sturdy and worn, it looked rather dingy, but his discerning eye picked out the fact that the engine block was in mint condition and the tires on the car were some of the sturdiest brands he knew. This car was built to last almost anything that could be thrown at.

“It's an open-topped jeep. Similar to military ones, Nunnally. Except this one is painted a dull red and has tan seats,” he described to his sister as Sayoko finished tying down the luggage in the back and rounded the car to help him with Nunnally. Lelouch was a little jealous that the former maid did not look like she was even sweating one bit.

“Nunnally-sama, we're going to pick you up and place you in the seat now,” Sayoko called out before Lelouch held the wheelchair steady and Sayoko easily scooped up his sister and placed her gently in the seat. 

“Wow, the seats are quite comfortable,” Nunnally reached out with her hands to squish the tan leather. She fumbled a little and tried to grasp the seatbelt, but missed. Sayoko reached over and buckled her in. “Thank you, Sayoko.”

“It is of no consequence, Nunnally-sama.” The Japanese woman turned and reached out towards the wheelchair. “Lelouch-sama, I can return the chair while you wait in the car-”

“No, I'll do it,” Lelouch shook his head. “Just to the check in desk, right?”

Sayoko frowned a little before she nodded, her expression smoothing into a neutral one. “Of course. I will wait with your sister then.”

Lelouch did not know what to make of Sayoko's change in expression then, but he supposed that he had surprised her. He suspected she thought she would have to do everything, but it wasn't the case. He  _hated_ to rely on her, even though he was already doing so for Nunnally's care. It also gave him a chance to take the airport in a little more. If this was to be where he lived for the next few years or so while he figured out his new life and name, he wanted to be sure that he cleared all conditions.

He walked back in, taking note that most of the travelers arriving and departing were tourists. The locals were all polite and cheerful for the most part. Businessmen and women seemed quite glad to not be here. Foreign visitors were in abundance, but many of them didn't quite pay attention to a young fourteen-year-old who was returning an empty wheelchair.

He left it with the attendant at the desk who nodded her thanks before helping out another customer. Walking back out, he found Sayoko in the driver's seat, seemingly talking with Nunnally who seemed to be in better spirits though she still looked rather wilted and exhausted.

He got into the backseat, belting himself in and they were off. Lelouch immediately realized why there was no top to the jeep as they exited the airport. The scenic views that were immediately presented was spectacularly beautiful. He could not help the small gasp of surprise as he took in the crystal blue waters, palm trees and jungle-like paradise that they had found themselves in.

“It's beautiful, isn't it, brother?” Nunnally called out as they drove along the winding highway.

“It is,” he replied, glancing at her to see her with a faint smile on her face. Her hair flew loosely around her face. “Do you want me to-”

“Later,” she shook her head. “Please, tell me later.”

He nodded. “All right.” He turned his head back to the views, determined to take in everything so he would be able to tell Nunnally all about it. Perhaps it would give her a night of pleasant dreams instead of the nightmares that plagued her for the last month and half. He took in the the tropical birds that flew to and fro, the noise and call of the animals around them; the blackened volcanic sand that glittered like crystals against the sun; the distant orange glow of the volcano that spewed forth lava and hiss and steam of smoke. It was unlike anything he had seen before.

It was paradise and it was now home.

* * *

_February 4 th, 2014_

“ _The perimeter has been breached!”_

“ _Get the children to safety!”_

“ _My Prince, we need to move-_

“ _Not without Nunnally! Not without my sister!”_

“ _But-”_

“ _No!”_

Lelouch awoke with a start as he blinked his eyes rapidly. He could almost see the bunker, the remnants of twisted metal, burning flames and sparking wires that had surrounded him on that horrific day. He blinked his eyes again and it was instantly replaced with the austere, homely surroundings of the safehouse villa. Alabaster white walls, built in the style of Spanish architecture with curved ceilings greeted him and he pushed himself up from the couch he had fallen asleep in. It was also then that he noticed a blanket had been draped over him. He picked at it, a woolen thing that looked almost homespun. It had the most unusual patterns on it, almost from one of the Areas that had been formerly known as Latin America, Mexico in particular.

Lelouch hunched forward, letting his head hang as he took deep breaths, steadying his racing heart. He shivered, the after effects of the nightmare still coursing through him. A glance outside showed a constant downpour of rain. It had been less than six months since they had moved here and he was still not quite used to the heavy humidity that clung onto everything. Even with the central air system running through the villa, he still felt like he breathed and drank in water constantly.

He scrubbed his face, feeling the small bit of stubble that had begun to grow. He had begun to hit puberty, his voice changing, cracking since their arrival. Clothes that had once fit him were no longer sufficient and it had stretched whatever meager budget he had left to go into town to buy new ones. He was well aware of what puberty entailed, but it also sent him to search for any job he could find in the last few months to supplement their budget. The Ashfords had provided a small stipend, mostly for upkeep of the villa, Sayoko's salary, and keeping the electricity on, but he knew he could not rely on that forever. He did not want to be in anyone's charity and he also knew that there would be a day when the Ashfords decided he and Nunnally would no longer suit their needs – having been abandoned and exiled by the royal family.

It was also why, even after all these months, he did not fully trust Sayoko. Though she was a superbly competent nursemaid and general housekeeper, she ultimately reported to the Ashfords. But for Nunnally's sake and because he knew his little sister would be terribly lonely, he allowed her to stay.

He had found a source of income for now that at least kept them living in current conditions and also helped him get enough money to buy articles of clothing for himself and for his sister from time to time. The more tourist-like areas of Oahu were home to hotels and small casinos; self-contained areas that allowed for Lelouch to occasionally slip in and challenge businessmen and women to games of chess. He advertised himself as a local who played for the thrill of seeing 'mainlanders' lose. More often than not, the boast appealed to the Britannians that came to visit and he made off with their money in the end.

It wasn't a stable income, but it was enough and also kept him informed of what was happening in Britannian society and occasionally the royal circles. He deftly avoided the more well-known nobles who visited the island and had gotten somewhat friendly with the locals enough that a couple of them went out of their way to warn him off if they spotted some lord or lady visiting. He used some of his gambling money to pay for their information, but it seemed that the populace here liked keeping their own to themselves. It surprised him considering they knew he was Britannian just by skin color, mannerisms and name, but he didn't mind.

“Lelouch-sama,” Sayoko's quiet voice pulled him from his thoughts and he lifted his head up to see her exiting Nunnally's room.

“She's asleep?” He asked, his voice rough before he cleared his throat.

“Her fever is down, the antibiotics helping. But she's still pretty restless,” Sayoko stood before him, her hands folded in front of her, head bowed slightly in deference.

Lelouch nodded, running a hand through his hair. “I'll...” he swallowed heavily. “I'll stay with her tonight-”

“Lelouch-sama-”

He smiled wanly at her. “She needs to sleep, Sayoko. Otherwise, how will she get better?”

“But sire, you need your rest too-”

He laughed bitterly and picked at the blanket. “I appreciate it, but my sister's health comes first. This fever she has...it's not good for her recovering body. The radiation, or whatever she was exposed to by that...that....” He clenched a fist and looked away. “She needs to get better. I want her to get better...”

“Yes sire,” Sayoko replied. “Shall I prepare some bone broth soup for the two of you?”

“If you would be so kind, yes,” he shed the blanket and stood up from the couch, yawning as he stretched his arms. He hated that Sayoko was right. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept properly or very well in the last thirty-six hours since Nunnally fell ill with a high fever. The local doctor didn't exactly know what caused it, considering Nunnally was still recovering from her wounds, but prescribed antibiotics to help.

He knocked gently on her door and when there was no answer, opened it and stepped in. Nunnally's breaths were light and fast, her skin a flushed pink indicating her fever. Though her eyes were closed, she twitched occasionally, her mouth forming small grimaces of pain or of whispered things that he couldn't quite hear. He went over, sitting in the seat that Sayoko occasionally occupied and reached out to grasp his sister's hand.

Her fingers automatically curled into his own, delicate yet firm. She whimpered and he gently rubbed her knuckles as she settled a little. He could feel the heat of her fever on her skin and pressed a gentle kiss on her fingers. He once would have woken her up from the nightmares that gripped her, but in this case, he knew she needed her sleep, no matter how restless they were.

It was perhaps a little over a half an hour that he sat with Nunnally that a knock on her door made him look up to see Sayoko peering in.

“Lelouch-sama...you...” she looked pale and concern flooded him.

“What,” he hissed quietly.

“You better come out and see this, sire,” she said quietly gesturing for him to leave. He got up, setting Nunnally's hand down tenderly before he followed the Japanese woman out.

Sayoko had the TV on, a soft volume, but it was of little consequence as he felt his jaw drop at the image it was displaying. A monster almost as large as the one that attacked San Francisco was laying waste to Manila. It looked different, with two eyes on each side of its head, along with two backwards facing prongs that looked like shovels. It had the same bony crest as the monster that attacked San Francisco. Lelouch read the ticker on the bottom of the news feed. [Hundun Attacks Manila, Thousands Feared Dead].

“What...the...fuck...” he whispered.

He turned to Sayoko and somehow, a part of him knew that this was not a coincidence. They were under attack by a monster species, an  _alien_ monster species. The monster, the  _kaiju_ that attacked San Francisco was only the first.

Its name had been Trespasser.


	14. Prelude II

_February 20_ _th_ _, 2014_

The world was still reeling from Hundun's attack. Millions had died in the archipelago nation of the Philippines, more so in Manila than anywhere else on the island chain.

The residents of Oahu were up in arms, scared that they were going to be next. Lelouch didn't blame them. Many of the island nations were terrified. The news reports were all speculating on what this was. Another kaiju, similar to the one named Trespasser attacking a different country. He watched the news and read articles, intently on trying to figure out what was the cause behind it all, what was the common thread.

Many thought it was a reaction to Britannia's expansionist policy and blame had been initially thrown in Trespasser's aftermath that it was godly retribution. At least that was the sentiment in the Asiatic countries like the Chinese Federation and Japan. Australia had been neutral throughout, a trade partner with the three major powers. In the aftermath of Hundun, the United Federation of Nations called an emergency meeting, with Britannia as a guest member, to discuss Hundun's attack.

It had taken a nuclear strike to destroy the beast; contaminating the sea and islands around Manila. There were now hundreds of reports of sickness spreading. Scientists and medical professionals didn't know what to call it, but one trend had emerged – they said it was due to the kaiju's blood. The term kaiju blue was trending on social media now and notes were being compared with the survivors of Trespasser's attack and those who fallen ill after Hundun's destruction.

Sayoko, to Lelouch's surprise, had immediately locked down all known files about Nunnally, sealing it behind several impressive looking encryption software. However, she had also forwarded him information that she had somehow extracted about the latest medical news about this phenomenon of kaiju blue.

He read the files and Nunnally's condition started to make sense. Regular antibiotics weren't enough to treat it and though the science behind her still-healing wounds, the current consensus was that drug trials to help combat some of the more virulent and destructive forms of kaiju blue were already underway. Lelouch could only hope that the drug trials would succeed. He needed those gains to help his sister.

The caw of a seagull blasting in his ear made him open his eyes and look to his left to see the white bird pecking at what looked like a leftover sandwich someone had carelessly left on the beach. Another seagull had landed next to it and the two were fighting over the bread and meat inside it. Lelouch made a face, disgusted as more of the flying menaces started to land, both interested in the fight as well as the apparent food.

“Ugh,” he sat up, glaring at the squawking birds. “Tourists...” he muttered as he pushed himself up from the sand. He had been unceremoniously thrown out of the villa by Sayoko after she insisted he spend a few hours outside instead of constantly reading scientific papers, watching the news and generally being a hermit.

It culminated with him wandering down the dirt roads towards the sandy white beach where he occasionally jogged and exercised in an effort to improve his stamina. Nunnally's wheelchair was rather cumbersome to move around the dirt paths of their house as well as the hiking trips she had been talking about taking during Christmas. They decided that the trips would be planned so that he was able to hike with her on his back and it also required him to start improving his own fitness in order to carry her.

He stood up, brushing sand off of his shorts and open shirt. Taking one last look at the crowd of seagulls ravaging the half-eaten sandwich, he shook his head and moved away. This particular beach was on the opposite side of Oahu, as far away from the main city of Honolulu as possible. It was also less frequented by tourists, but judging by the leftover sandwich, it wasn't completely devoid of visitors.

He shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked along the beach, his feet digging familiar sure steps into the grainy white sand. His sunglasses were perched above his head, even though he normally would have worn them to protect himself from the harsh reflective brightness. He moved a little closer to the shade of the palm trees that dotted the area. Though he wore sunblock, he knew he probably already started to get a burn. He had his mother's genes to thank for that. She had been an ivory-skinned dark-haired beauty who deftly avoided anything and everything about the beach even when they were growing up.

It had been Cornelia and Euphie who had insisted on taking him and Nunnally to their first-ever beach excursion. There they had discovered the wonders of saltwater – along with rather annoying realiztion that saltwater really did a number on their hairs and tasted horrible when swallowed – of building sandcastles, of finding little hermit crabs and poking their shells, as well as the basics of snorkeling. The Catalina Islands off of the coast of Pendragon had been a paradise. It had been so much fun and Lelouch had wondered why his mother did not join them when she merely just laughed and told them that she was too old to join them.

He took her explanation at face value until he learned on his second excursion that getting sunburned was really not a fun experience. He cried the first time his skin peeled off; was horrified at seeing himself with odd patches – and embarrassed when Euphie tried to kiss his burns it to make it better. He then realized that his mother avoided the beach like the plague for that very reason. It made him want to avoid it too except Nunnally loved the sea and so he indulged her. He thought her complexion was like his, but she seemed to not get burned so easily as him even though they both had the same exact skin color.

“-Watch out!”

“Oof!”

Lelouch was suddenly and rather violently knocked out of his thoughts and off of his feet as something heavy collided into him. He fell to the ground, crying out as his head hit the sand and his left shoulder muscles near his neck pulled in a sharp sudden pain. “Ow!” he cried out, rubbing his head.

“Ow!” The same cry was echoed next to him and he looked up to see a brown-haired teen with bright green eyes also rubbing his forehead.

“What the hell man? Watch where you're going!” the teen glared at him, wincing as he gingerly touched his forehead.

Lelouch frowned, anger swiftly filling him. “Me?! What about you, you bastard! You watch it! I was just walking-”

“No you weren't!” the teen shot back as he suddenly shoved him away.

“Ow! Geez, what the shit?!” Lelouch slapped at the hands that tried to touch him.

“Don't touch me! Britannian!” The green-eyed teen hissed and Lelouch froze. The teen took it as one of fear as he smirked. “I'm right, aren't I? You're a Britannian with your pale skin and eyes. Not one of the locals here! Here to just lord over the people of this island aren't you-”

“And what would a Japanese such as your self would want for this place?!” Lelouch snarled. He could tell by the accented English, having heard it many times from other Japanese people on the island. It was heavier than that of those who lived on the island, but what grated on him was the bossy, imperialistic tone that was adopted.

He caught something in the teen's hand and saw it was a remnant of a half-sandwich. In fact, it looked like the same sandwich the seagulls had been fighting over. “You stupid Japanese mainlander don't do anything but waste people's time and don't even care about anything! Look at you! I bet you dropped your sandwich and decided to litter the beaches here! Nothing but hanging onto scraps don't you!”

“I didn't litter!”

“Yeah you did!” Lelouch pointed back to the seagulls that had taken flight. “Don't lie!”

“Yeah well, it's not like you Britannians had karma coming! You deserved Trespasser, taking over these chain of islands! It certainly stopped you from invading Japan!” The teen shouted. “Yeah, I know all about your plans. You wanted our Sakuradite deposits and you were planning on taking over. This was supposed to be your staging ground! Now we're putting up a post here just because of some international cooperation bullshit. Fuck, I say let the kaiju attack you! You deserve it!”

Lelouch's eye widened then narrowed into slits; the anger that had risen in him so volcanic that he couldn't even begin to form words. He flinched at the bitter laugh that emerged from the teen's mouth and suddenly wanted to punch it shut. Violent thoughts flitted through his mind and he lashed out without thinking.

He suddenly found his world turned upside down and slammed into the sand as his arm was twisted painfully into his back. He cried out, but the pressure didn't relent.

“That was a weak-ass punch!” the Japanese teen growled out above him. He twisted just a little more and Lelouch grimaced, but refused to make anymore sounds or call for him to stop. He just glared up at the face of his tormentor. Pain shot from his arm through his shoulder and down his back, but he refused to relent.

“ _Itoko! Where are you?_ ”

The cry was in Japanese, but Lelouch managed to make out what was said. He asked Sayoko to start teaching him her native language, ostensibly to both learn at least what a quarter of the population that lived on the island said, but also in case he overheard her making her reports to the Ashfords.

“ _Ah shit...Kaguya..._ ” the teen suddenly muttered and just like that, the pressure was gone, leaving him gasping as his arm flopped to his side. He heard footsteps moving away before silence around him, broken by the occasional cry of a seagull.

Lelouch slowly turned over to his back as he gingerly lifted his arm and cradled it against his chest. He refused to cry after what had just happened. Instead, he kept his breaths steady until the feeling passed. He finally sat up, wincing at the tenderness of his muscles.

Just who was that teen and why had he been suddenly attacked by him? Most importantly, what did the Japanese teen mean by setting up a post on Oahu? He got up and stumbled slightly before he pushed himself to head into the nearest town, shaking his wounded arm out. Something was happening in the aftermath of Hundun's attack and he wanted to know what.

* * *

_June 4_ _nd_ _, 2014_

Its name was Kaiceph and half of Cabo San Lucas was now a nuclear wasteland. The early warning system revealed not only the location of where the kaiju were emerging from – deep in the Mariana Trench – but also that they were able to somewhat track the movement of the beast and kill it when it made landfall. That was three days ago and proved that the warning system set up by a joint Japanese-Britannian task force around the Mariana Islands as primary and Hawai'i as a backup, worked. It had been dubbed by the taskforce as Kaiju-Watch, shortened to K-Watch.

Three days after Kaiceph's attack and subsequent destruction, the UFN immediately convened and now they were making an announcement. Lelouch, Nunnally and Sayoko all sat around the TV, like millions of people world-wide, waiting on what was supposed to be a historic announcement. Every single news outlet had been reporting on it the whole day.

Lelouch looked at his sister, a smile on his face. She was getting better with the latest treatments smuggled in by Sayoko and the Ashfords. The discreet doctors they had sent her medical files to diagnosed her officially with kaiju blue. Thankfully not a terminal case, but it was what made her lose the use of her legs and possibly her blindness. Though they cautioned that the diagnosis was still very new, it had heartened them both to finally receive answers that they had sought for the last ten or so months since Trespasser.

“...And we now go live to the United Federation of Nations. It looks like the Second Prince of Britannia, Schneizel el Britannia is about to make the address. As viewers know, the Britannian Empire was given guest member status after Trespasser's attack. While not an official recognized member of the UFN Security Council, Britannia has been allowed to make statements and participate in research opportunities due to the wealth of knowledge they brought after Trespasser.”

The camera cut to the UFN's background where Lelouch watched with a pensive gaze as his older brother Schneizel stepped up to the podium. He was tagged on the screen with the title of Britannian Prime Minister and Ambassador. Lelouch laced his hands together and rested his chin on his thumbs, watching over his knuckles. Schneizel had been one of the first to offer condolences, but Lelouch had ignored his older brother's messages. Schneizel had also been the one to lead an investigation into the Marianne's Knightmare frame in an attempt to figure out if it had been sabotage that felled her. Lelouch had left before the investigation concluded, too disgusted at all of the politicking and lack of compassion from the others including those of the royal household.

He glanced over to see Nunnally shift a little in her wheelchair, her expression also pensive. Sayoko reached out and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, making her reach up to hold their maid's hand in comfort. He met the Japanese woman's gaze with a grateful one of his own.

“I've come before you on this auspicious day to announce a joint venture between the nations not only around the Pacific Ocean, but that of across the world. In an era of cooperation and goodwill, we are proud to announce the formation of the Pan Pacific Defense Corps to combat this threat of the kaiju. The PPDC will fall under the arm of the UFN as a joint military project. Funding for technologies, defensive and offensive measures will be provided for by each member nation. The Britannian Empire will fund the initial start up for research into this project, but we encourage all nations to send their best and brightest to help us.

“To that end, we have signed several non-aggression pacts with nations whom we had been at war with including European United and the Chinese Federation. Until this threat of the kaiju is contained, we promise to honor our commitments and share all technologies discovered with the rest of PPDC member nations.”

Schneizel swept his arms up and flung them out. “We are committed to eradicating this kaiju threat and will find ways to minimize the loss of life, to contain the biological threat these monsters have become and honor the sacrifice of all those who have perished before this.” He extended his arm theatrically out towards the cameras. “Join us!”

To say those who had been assembled for the press conference went wild was an understatement.

It was like an explosion had gone off, reporters immediately leaping to their feet, shouting thousands of questions while flashbulbs went off so much that it was almost blinding the cameras focused on Schneizel.

“ _Schneizel-niisan_ is such a drama llama, isn't he?” Nunnally murmured. Sayoko laughed a little and Lelouch gave his sister a look.

“Drama...llama?” he asked.

“I learned that from the online chat groups in my classes earlier this week,” Nunnally smiled a little. “It's someone who tends to blow things out of proportion, but in this case, I think it would be apt to say Schneizel wanted this to be blown out of proportion, right?”

“More like drama queen,” Lelouch muttered under his breath but shrugged. “I suppose you're right.” He sighed and leaned back against the plush couch, tenting his fingers together. “Schneizel mostly eschews the dramatic theatrics, but he definitely can bring it on if needed. In this case, having the support of the other nations and the invitation for others to put down their arms to join this is the best way.”

“So...we're really at peace?”

“I dunno,” Lelouch watched as the media furor continued to grow, even as the other members of the UFN council approached the stage to try to give a sense of calm. “I would think so, especially since the Japanese and Britannians established the K-Watch system, but hopefully it is true.”

“It's sad that it has to be the kaiju, but maybe it is for the best.”

“I'd like to see what they come up with first,” Lelouch commented quietly.

There was a moment of silence before Nunnally spoke up, her voice small. “A-Are...you going to join the PPDC?”

Lelouch blinked, bringing himself from watching the media storm slowly calm and questions answered by Schneizel and the rest of the UFN Security Council members. “What?” He turned to see his sister tap her index fingers together as they rested on her lap, her lips pursed in a pensive look.

“D-Do...you want revenge for Mother?” His sister asked.

He drew in a sharp breath as he stared at her. The question pierced him deeply as he considered her words. All of the emotions he had felt in witnessing the aftermath as well as what had happened. Did he want revenge?

Yes. With all of his heart.

He wanted those bastards dead and to forever stop their attacks. No one's mother or father need die. No one else need be injured like his beloved sister. He gritted his teeth for a moment before standing up. He walked over to kneel by her side. Taking her hands into his own he looked up at her even though he knew she could not see him.

“I want revenge,” he answered honestly, quietly. “But not at your expense. Not if it meant leaving you, Nunnally. You are my everything and will always be. I will always be here to protect you. I won't ever leave you alone, not even to fight the kaiju.”

He lifted her hand and gently kissed it. “I am your knight and your protector, Nunnally. You won't ever want for anything, not while there is breath left in me.”

_Let Schneizel and the others play at war. Nunnally is my world now. I can't ever lose her nor will I let anyone use her._

* * *

A two months later, Dr. Lloyd Asplund of the ASEEC along with Rakshata Chawla presented their method of defeating the kaiju. A humongous mechanized monster called a Jaeger. Built based on Knightmare Frame technology – of which the two were considered the experts of their fields, it got approval to start trials and funding. They recruited Dr. Caitlin Lightcap to develop the neural system that would enable it to be piloted unlike a conventional Knightmare.

Lelouch received an email from Milly Ashford with some insider information about the new technology developed and began to study it in earnest. He was curious as to how these Jaegers would perform against kaiju.

* * *

On January 4 th , 2015 the Jaeger Program and subsequent academy was authorized to recruit and train both military and volunteers. Some would end up piloting Jaegers, some ended up as support staff officers. The nations that donated the initial start up funds began to build their own Jaegers. What was known as the Class of 2015-A was also known as the guinea pig class for a field of untested science and of experimental work. They built the curriculum of the Jaeger Academy at the same time they helped Dr. Lightcap with testing the Pons and the neural handshake that would be known as the Drift. All came together with the purpose of defeating the kaiju, all worked together to advance the Jaeger Program. Its first batch of graduates would eventually include Colonel Leila Breisgau and Corporal Akito Hyuga, Marshal Kyoshiro Tohdoh and his partner Nagisa Chiba as well as future Marshal Cornelia li Britannia and her Knight of Honor Gilbert G.P. Guilford.

* * *

_April 23_ _rd_ _, 2015_

“Could it be? Yes, yes...oh my God, we are witnessing history here, folks! We are- wow...this...Jaeger, er, machine, called Brawler Yukon is successfully taking down the kaiju named Karloff!”

There was the scratching sound of something being scrambled, but Lelouch was riveted to the TV watching the grainy far-away footage of the ungainly looking thing that looked like several Knightmares on spindly legs and top-heavy mounted guns fire several missiles at the kaiju. This was it, the first test of a kaiju vs Jaeger and the Jaeger was  _winning_ . He watched in awe as the Jaeger pivoted to meet the kaiju's attack – actually meet it and throw it back.

“We're told that Brawler Yukon is piloted by two people, Captain Sergio D'Onofrio of the 26th Mechanized Britannian Infantry and Dr. Caitlin Lightcap, a civilian that had been contracted by the ASEEC to work on the neural bridge system. While we're not sure of a civilian piloting such a thing- this is history folks. This is...this could be victory! This IS victory! All Hail Britannia! All Hail the Pan Pacific Defense Corps!”

Karloff was a thin kaiju, resembling a tree spirit from the old European United fairytales that his mother used to read to them. It took a single blow from a rickety-looking shaft of metal that could have passed for an arm, to kill the kaiju, nailing it directly in the head. Bright blue liquid spurted out of the gashing wound.

Lelouch watched, shock filling him as the monster toppled to the ground, dead. Before it, the Jaeger Brawler Yukon stood above it, shadowed by the sunlight in triumph. It was pure coincidence, but it was an image that was seared into the minds of the world. A Jaeger had beaten a kaiiju.

The possibilities of winning had just become a reality. And in that moment, Lelouch knew his world had changed.

* * *

When the announcement came in late October that applications for the Class of 2016-A would open the Jaeger Academy to civilian applications, it caused a media uproar. Recruitment posters sprung up on various billboards, advertisements and even in old newspapers. The global war machine was activating and everywhere you turned, there was a call to arms to serve the PPDC. Applications for both Jaeger and Kaiju sciences and technology fields were in high demand. Engineering jobs to help build Jaegers were the norm.

But even with the open call to arms for civilians and military alike, the entry exam was rigorous and unyielding. It did not discriminate against either military or civilian, though some of the questions seemed to indicate otherwise. Lelouch had taken the test on a whim, not exactly caring whether or not he got the answers correct. It was only days later that he received an email and when he opened it, his stomach dropped.

He had qualified for entry into the Jaeger Academy.

Dinner that night was a subdued affair, cooking Nunnally's favorite meal before he sat down to eat with her. Sayoko had left the island for the past week, taking care of a personnel affair. However, even though the meal he cooked smelled appetizing and was pretty good, he managed to only finish half of his plate before pushing around the rest of the food in an attempt to fool his sister that he was eating.

“ _Nii-san_ ,” she set her own fork down and he started, looking up at her. “What's wrong?”

Lelouch grimaced and set his own fork down. “I...got accepted into the Jaeger Academy.”

Nunnally's expression brightened and a smile appeared on her lips. “That's wonderful! I'm so proud of you! When does the semester start and when do you leave? We need to celebrate this good fortune-”

“Nunnally,” Lelouch's voice cracked a little as he stared at his sister. He was torn at both the happiness that she exuded, but also for the fact that it didn't seem like she realized what was truly to happen. “...Nunnally...”

“Hmm?” Her initial happiness faded a little as she caught wind of the seriousness of his voice.

“If...If I go,” he started softly. “I...may not be able to come back for a long time. If...I graduate, and become a Jaeger pilot...I...I'll be fighting the kaiju for God knows how long. It'll be war...” He could see her expression closing as realization set in and he shook his head.

“Maybe I'll qualify as a support officer instead, you know? I think they get more leave since they don't have to be constantly maintaining appearances and also testing. Maybe they'll get more leave so I can come and visit and the danger-”

“No.”

Nunnally's single word cut through him and he stared at her. “No,” she said again. “I know you have your heart set on being a Jaeger pilot. I know you too well, my brother. You won't stand for anything less.”

Lelouch felt his breath catch as he stared at his beloved little sister. His lips twitched in a sad smile. “But the danger-”

“I know the dangers, Lelouch,” Nunnally's sad smile mirrored his own as she gestured towards her eyes and her legs. “And I know it's a risk. I know it's all experimental, but I can only hope that you'll go in with knowledge gained from Cornelia and the others before you. Maybe it's wishful thinking, maybe it's naive of me, but I hope that you can find both the happiness you seek and the revenge you want.”

“But I'm happy here with you-”

“And I know you are. You've been nothing but kind to me in my infirmed state. I love you so much, my brother. But I also know that I must not be selfish with my own wants and needs. You want revenge for Mother,” she looked down for a second, taking a deep breath before letting it out. She lifted her head as if looking at him with her sightless closed eyes. “I want revenge too.”

Lelouch sat back, blinking in shock. He had never known Nunnally to speak such harsh words. Revenge was not part of her gentle vocabulary, but to hear it so plain from her. He realized that he really did not have any ground to stand on. Nunnally had lost more than he ever could in Trespasser's attack. It was natural of her to want revenge against the kaiju and its ilk that took away her sight and legs along with their mother. Marianne had protected her to the very end, stabbed through the cockpit of her Knightmare by one of Trespasser's claws while shielding her daughter from an exposed bunker that should not have been exposed in the first place.

He reached across the corner of the table and rested his hand lightly over hers. “I didn't know...”

“I know,” she replied softly. “I didn't want you to worry... You were doing so much research, so much news-watching that I knew you were thinking of it. I'm not surprised that you took the test or you qualified. You are my brother.”

“I will visit when I can,” he promised her, lacing his pinky through hers.

“That is all I ask,” she replied.

* * *

On January 31 st , 2016, seventeen-year-old Lelouch Lamperouge arrived on Kodiak Island, Alaska, home of the Jaeger Academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going into a lot of backstory here, partially to give readers a slight break from the emotional roller coaster that was the first twelve chapters. Enjoy!
> 
> Jaeger Academy, here we come!


	15. Jaeger Academy - Term 1 - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning to those reading the Jaeger Academy chapters - these chapters will deal with issues that may be perceived as a commentary on the interesting times we live in for 2020. I am in no way interpreting it as such as these issues were at the core and forefront of "Code Geass" when it originally aired back in 2006.
> 
> The only thing I will give readers a heads up: people's perspectives can change, so if you have notions of how certain characters are acting in these chapters, well, just consider the story, setting and climate that they have been thrust into - war changes everyone.

Lelouch leaned against the wall, trying desperately not to gasp like a fish out of water. Ah, who was he kidding – he gave up and bent his head down to his knees, his breaths heaving at the numbing exhaustion he felt. There was an impact of sorts and he blearily looked up to see a blue-haired teen slumping against the wall next to him before unceremoniously sliding down. His chest was heaving too.

He would have laughed except all he could do was concentrate on not passing out.

“Heh, you too, huh?” the blue-haired teen gasped with a sarcastic smile.

“They...weren't...kidding,” Lelouch forced out. He struggled to take in a breath and felt his chest hitch a little before it settled.

_'We will break you down and make you anew. That is how Jaeger pilots are born_ ,' _the class' commanding officer, a Japanese man named Tohdoh Kyoshiro had warned._

That was just a week ago during Day One orientation.

“Rivalz. Rivalz Cardemonde,” the blue-haired teen suddenly thrust a hand at him and Lelouch stared at it for a second before shaking.

“Lelouch. Lelouch Lamperouge,” he replied, before tugging the blue-haired teen from the wall.

“Thanks man,” Rivalz steadied himself as they let go. “Whew, they really work you out here, don't they?”

“They did say it was based off of military training, compacted into six months,” Lelouch rubbed his chest through his tee-shirt as he found that he could breath a little easier.

“Yeah, but I just want to sleep now. Morning workouts aren't supposed to be this bad, right?”

“We still got Jaeger bushido drills later this afternoon. After morning classes. Then after that we have afternoon study.”

“Is dinner or lunch somewhere in there?”

Lelouch laughed before wincing as his chest spasmed in protest. He saw Rivalz giving him a wan smile.

“Sorry man,” the blue-haired teen looked chagrined.

“Nah. I'm...not good at physical activities,” Lelouch shook his head. “Just give me...a theoretical problem to solve and I'm good.”

“Well, at least we know who's good at physical activities,” Rivalz gestured with his chin towards the PT field that they had been doing their morning workouts. Lelouch turned and saw a brown-haired, green-eyed teen practically running laps around everyone in their class. He looked like he wasn't even breaking a sweat.

“Who's that again?”

“Err...I think he's Su-something, Kuragi?” Rivalz shook his head. “I'm no good with Asian names, but I definitely know he's Japanese. Saw him talking once or twice to Marshal Tohdoh earlier this week and him I recognize from some of the media attention in Japan.”

“Japan?”

“Yeah. The guy is apparently like Japanese royalty or something? They don't have official royalty like we Britannians do, but he's like the son of the Prime Minister. The Japanese media's been feting him for the last month or so when it was announced he got in, first of the majority-civilian class.”

“Maybe they don't have enough of a military strength?”

“I dunno,” Rivalz shrugged. “I was part of the group from the Ashford Academy that got in. We're located in Japan's capital city, Tokyo, as part of a Brtiannian international exchange program. Our Prez can tell you about what it's purpose is, but that's where I recognize him from,” Rivalz pointed towards the group that was finishing up their laps and headed their way. “See the blonde, orange and green-haired girls?”

Lelouch froze as he recognized one of the three Rivalz mentioned, but forced himself to nod. “Yeah?”

“Ashford Academy Student Council members. There's a few others from the Academy, but those three ladies are part of the Student Council like I am. I'm the Secretary. The blonde is our illustrious President, Milly Ashford. Shirley Fennette and Nina Einstein are members. I have a feeling Nina's going to go to K-Science or even J-Tech since she's not too cut out for the physical part of the Academy, but she wanted to try her hand out. We were told she scored second highest in the aptitude tests for analysis.”

They watched as the newly exhausted members staggered over to them and Lelouch felt some sympathy towards their current state. Each one of them, along with the others that had been part of the Ashford grouping looked bedraggled.

“Oh,” Milly looked up with a tired smile. “Hey...I didn't get...a...chance to say...hello, Lelouch.”

“You know each other?!” Rivalz's question ended on a squeak, but it also brought a few others gazes towards him.

“Ms. Ashford,” Lelouch extended his hand towards Milly who stared at it for a second before shaking. He knew she was silently asking why he was being so formal, but played along with it. He released her hand and turned to Rivalz. “Ms. Ashford and my family had a few business deals way back when. We've met each other a couple of times, but that's about it.”

“Oh,” Rivalz seemed to calm down.

Milly nodded before gesturing to the others. “This buxom orange-haired girl is Shirley Fennette.”

Lelouch watched as the leggy, tall teen blushed a tomato red, and shakily shook his hand. “Milly...don't say that!” she hissed.

“What?” Milly shrugged and Lelouch was warmed to know that she had not changed after all these years. The blonde woman turned to the green-haired girl with glasses perched on her nose. She looked as out of breath as he had after the morning's PT. “This little sweet petite is Nina Einstein.”

“...Sorry...can't-”

“Don't worry about it,” Lelouch shook his head. “Good to meet you.”

“This is Kallen Stadtfeld. She's so is so much stronger than she looks to the point where I wonder if she faked her sickness just to play hooky,” Milly turned to a red-haired girl with blue eyes. Her features looked rather unique in a way that from a certain angle, looked almost Asiatic. But her name was clearly Britannian. “She's just joined our Student Council when we all applied.”

“Pleasure,” Lelouch shook the girl's hand, noting that she had a pretty strong grip. In fact, she did not look that tired. He was a little jealous of her constitution.

“Well, as much as I like talking while we're all hot and bothered,” Milly's grin was wicked and Lelouch could hear groans of 'Prez, come on' along with a bunch of others nearby who turned red from overhearing her words. “Showers first then we'll talk at breakfast, okay?”

“If I can get out of the shower. My limbs feel all tingy and numb,” Rivalz grumbled as they headed back into the main building.

There were more joining them now, all bone-tired and heaving breaths. The ones that came from Britannian military as well as a few from other countries' military establishments didn't seem too phased, but Lelouch noted that they walked with a distinct air of self-importance. One or two interacted with the civilians, offering some guidance, but even then it was limited.

He shivered, rubbing his arms as he walked with Rivalz down the halls to the showers. He was not used to the numbing cold that was Alaska in full winter mode. The nights and days were so dark, perhaps one hour of sunlight here and there. Coming from the hot and humid Hawai'ian islands as well as from the temperate, dry San Francisco bay area, he felt like most of the time he was just going to freeze to death indoors.

He and Rivalz finished their showers quickly, knowing that there was a time limit for food before classes started. As they headed to the mess hall, he learned that the teen was an avid motorcyclist, restoring an old bike with a sidecar. That got him an offer to ride in it when he was done. Lelouch told him he liked playing chess a lot and gambled on occasion, beating his opponents soundly. Rivalz mentioned that he heard chess was one of the things that the Academy used to test pilot compatibility which intrigued Lelouch.

As they got their food and sat down, he noticed a small crowd of Britannians seemingly escorting someone. They closed rank around the person like they were a protective detail, making it hard to see whom they were shielding. However, the line to the food service was single file and eventually the group broke up. Dread and a little bit of trepidation filled Lelouch as he saw who was being protected.

Third Princess Euphemia li Britannia was well known as a patron to the Arts, much like her older half-brother Third Prince Clovis la Britannia. She was the last person Lelouch expected to even  _be_ at the Jaeger Academy considering her older full sister Cornelia – the Witch of Britannia – was one of the first graduates of the Academy and a full-fledged Jaeger pilot. One member of the royal family serving as a Jaeger pilot was already high praise and showed Britannia's commitment to kick the kaiju back to where they came from. But the soft-spoken, gentle pink-haired Princess?

He supposed war made weirder bedfellows.

There was also the matter of her apparent cohorts. He recognized some of them like Jeremiah Gottwald, Kewell Soresi and Villeta Nu. They were part of the Britannian Purist faction – who believed that only pure-blooded Britannians could only serve in the military and any attempts by foreigners to intrude on that would be dealt with swiftly. Technically it meant anyone who had at least three generations who could trace their lineage back to the Homeland, but also not have a great-grand parent that wasn't from an 'Area.' But Lelouch was well aware some members of the faction looked down upon those who were not of noble blood – that is, not without title for at least three generations.

To see Euphemia associating with them turned Lelouch's stomach. He watched as she deftly got her food, thanked the staff and walked out among the rest of the recruits who were now enjoying their meals. A hushed silence seemed to have fallen as the Princess wandered the tables. Behind her, he saw some of the other Purist members scrambling to grab their food in an effort to join her. However, Euphemia apparently was having thoughts of her own as she seemingly sat down – right in the middle of a crowded table that had only one seat open.

It was full of people who were clearly from other countries.

Lelouch could not help the snicker that emerged from his mouth as he half-covered it to prevent himself from spewing food out.  _That_ was the Euphemia he knew. And she had deftly escaped her captors – or what the Purists probably thought to be her pseudo honor guards – with guile. She smiled rather innocently up as Kewell Soresi walked up, bewildered that there was no seat for him.

He saw her say something to the flame-haired man before he seemingly turned a little pink and walked away, sitting down at an empty table that was now filling with others from the Purist faction.

“What just happened?” Rivalz asked next to him, spearing a piece of melon. “And is that really Princess Euphemia? Like _the_ Princess Euphemia?”

“Um...” Nina's high voice spoke up to their left and the turned to see her walking timidly towards them with her tray. Milly and Shirley followed behind. Rivalz nodded, gesturing for her and the others to sit, forming their table. “It is her...I, um, got to thank her last night, um, for, um, helping me with, um, my schedule.... I, uh, got mixed up the other day, and uh, she was so kind to point me in the right direction...” Nina blushed a bright red and Lelouch stared at the petite girl.

It was very easy to tell that Nina had a rather large crush on Euphemia. That in of itself was not so surprising. A lot of people loved the Princess at first glance – even he himself was not immune to it, though he grew out of it from both childhood infatuation and a lesson on the birds and the bees. Euphemia was sweet, kind and polite to anyone and everyone. She was one of the few positive images of the royal Britannian family that even the gossip rags didn't really go after – both in poor taste and also because of how innocent she was.

He glanced back over to see the pink-haired princess now talking easily with the group of foreigners. One person in particular looked vaguely familiar and he realized it was the same brown-haired green-eyed boy who had been killing everyone else in the morning drills.

He looked back and stabbed a piece of scrambled egg, eating it. It wasn't his problem who the Princess associated with. The only thing he hoped was that she did not recognize him or tell anyone else of their relationship. There was no need, in his opinion, to advertise that he was a former Prince of the royal family. Exiled, disowned and disinherited by them. No gain, no merits and no favortism. He wanted to become a Jaeger pilot on his own merits.

“Err...guys, is it okay if my older brother sits with us?” Kallen spoke up, having been last to arrive to the table. She looked apprehensive.

“Oh, hi handsome!” Milly immediately perked up, batting her eyes at the man that stood behind Kallen, holding a tray with what looked like rice porridge and a few odds and ends. His features looked rather Asiatic, but there was the definite family resemblance. “Please, there's definitely room!” She grandly pulled a chair next to her out and the older man sat down. Kallen gave a lot of the side-eye to Milly as she sat across from her brother.

“Hi! I'm Naoto Kouzuki!” The man cheerfully introduced himself.

“A-Are you Japanese?” Nina's voice was small, fearful.

“Yes. Well, half. Half-half. I'm Britannian and Japanese. I just happened to register again with my Japanese last name instead of Britannian last name,” Naoto replied.

“Again?” Lelouch looked up at him.

“Half-half? Does that mean, you too Kallen?” Shirley asked at the same time.

“Y-Yes...” Kallen suddenly looked a little ashamed.

“I went by Stadtfeld last time. Washed out at the end of Term 1 because I couldn't get the concepts of J-Tech or K-Science that well. Physically passed the tests fine, but they said I can try again for next class so I did. Except this time I realized I didn't want to use my Britannian name since they were allowing civilians. I served as a liaison with the JDF – Japan Defense Force. The first time around, I figured 'hey, status counts since it seemed like Britannians were getting all of the pilot spots.' But I did learn a valuable lesson before I washed out the first time was that it may seem like Britannians get the top spots right now, but they'll take anyone who can Drift. Just so happens that majority of the classes are full of Britannians instead of, well, more like this mixed bag.”

“There's still a lot of us,” Lelouch had to point out with his fork.

“True,” Naoto shrugged. “Didn't realize my little baby sister was also going to try out too!” He reached out to ruffle Kallen's hair.

“Naoto!” Kallen turned beet red and the table laughed.

“But that does give you an advantage in the Term 2 right? They always like to see the sibling pairs-”

“May not mean shit-err, sorry for the language. It may not mean much if we aren't compatible or whatever they use for compatibility tests,” the other man shrugged easily. “Though this time, since I know what to expect, I know that if I wash out this one, I can always apply for officer or support positions. Anything to help out in this war.”

The table nodded and even Lelouch conceded the man's point. He extended his hand out towards Naoto. “ _Nice to meet you, I'm Lelouch Lamperouge,_ ” he said in Japanese.

Naoto grinned and shook his hand enthusiastically. “You almost sound like a native speaker!”

“Hawai'i,” he replied. “Home to a lot of Japanese, Chinese, Korean, South Asian populations as well as native islanders. The Britannians like myself that live there, well, we tend to pick up on the language quickly.”

“Oh, were you there when they installed the K-Watch substation?” Rivalz asked.

“I was, but since it was hush-hush back then, I didn't really know,” he shrugged.

“Born on Hawai'i'?”

“San Francisco,” he shook his head. He was technically born in the Aires Villa which was outside of San Francisco city limits, but it was close enough. “Live there until, you know...”

There were a few hisses and grimaces from the table and Lelouch saw Milly nodding her head in sympathy.

“My mother...San Francisco too,” Shirley suddenly blurted out. Her green eyes darted to his own for a second before looking away. Her cheeks colored a little, clearly embarrassed by her own outburst. A melancholic silence seemed to engulf the table before Milly slapped the surface.

“All right, let's not waste time dwelling on the sad things. We're here to kick kaiju ass!” The last part was said so enthusiastically that it practically silenced the mess hall. Then not even a second later, the whole hall cheered a roaring approval much to everyone's surprise.

Lelouch hid a smile behind his hand as conversations were renewed and everyone seemed to have regained the energy lost in the morning drills. Trust Milly to always try to cheer anyone and everyone up.

* * *

The classes on K-Science and J-Tech seemed rather simple and easy, especially when it came to experimental technologies that were still in development. Nina in particular asked so many questions that even their instructors had to remind her to breathe, think and listen to the concepts before formulating her own ideas and hypothesis. Questions were heavily encouraged and critical thinking was the norm. Their instructors had given them sheets of facts and sheets of speculation. The speculation part allowed them to come up with wild theories and attempt to prove them with the facts that they knew from the three kaiju attacks as well as any incidental analysis and data gathered by those out in the field.

It was the afternoon drills to learn Jaeger bushido, but also to test combat fitness that tested Lelouch harder than the morning calisthenics. After one week, he found the concepts –  _katas_ to borrow from Japanese was the term – simple enough, a series of set patterns and memorization of the patterns that enabled him to keep up with the motions.

It was more the physicality of putting the motions in practice that exhausted him even before the end of the afternoon drills. Currently, the class were doing their stretches to finish out the evening when they could ask their instructor anything about the class or even Jaeger Academy. A study period was next to go over the concepts learned for the day before everyone would break for dinner.

She was a seemingly no nonsense woman whom they learned was named Nagisa Chiba, or rather Chiba Nagisa for the Britannian translation. She was also Marshal Tohdoh's partner and carried the same strict martial discipline the Japanese man held himself towards.

Jaeger bushido consisted of fifty-two forms and Lelouch was glad that he memorized them like the back of his hand. He went through them, sweating buckets and trying to keep his breath as even as possible in the right timed places, but he noticed one of the Japanese contingent, an older man who had curly hair, fall while doing form forty-six.

Nagisa immediately honed in the fallen man and asked to check his leg.

Lelouch watched, fascinated as she examined it before asking the person next to him to take him to the infirmary. The class broke out in murmurs and Nagisa looked at them.

“What? You thought we were going to throw Ohgi-san out?”

“...Yes...” It was Euphemia who answered. She sounded timid, but her chin was tilted up bravely.

“The purpose of this particular part of training is not to destroy your spirit, ladies and gentlemen. You have nothing to gain by proving you're the best. In fact, you have all to lose by proving such a thing. We will push you to your limits. Only you know what is your limit and to consider what you must do to surpass it. We do not want robotic soldiers here. We need people who are willing to work together in order to defeat our ultimate enemy, the kaiju.”

Her eyes pierced every single person in the room. They were riveted to her words. “You will fall. You will learn to get up. Those that do, become Rangers. There are some of you here I recognize who had fallen once. They have gotten up gain, not for gain of knowledge, but a better understanding of who they are and what limits they must surpass in order to become Rangers.”

Lelouch could not help but shoot a look at Naoto who was nodding sagely to Nagisa's words. Next to him, Kallen had a proud smile on her face.

A person raised their hand. “Is that why those who are eliminated can try again?”

“Only those _we_ eliminate. Those who voluntarily leave, we do not let back in. To put it simply, if we fail you, an honorable discharge, you have room to improve. But if you leave yourself or a dishonorable discharge, you have proven that you cannot or are not willing to change.”

“That probably accounts for the amount of Britannians here. Odds are good,” Kewell Soresi said snidely.

Lelouch wasn't the only one who shot the man a disgusted look. Even Princess Euphemia looked like she would rather swallow poison than be associated with him as a fellow Britannian. However, Nagisa was all smiles and she looked rather intimidating.

“We are going into week two. Earlier this week, we started with four-hundred and twenty qualified candidates. We are now down to just over two-hundred fifty. Of that number eliminated, every single person except for one identified as Britannian. Tell me, Candidate Soresi, how do you like those odds now?”

* * *

Jaeger Academy did not have weekends.

On the two days that technically were weekends, calisthenics and workouts were a lot lighter and the afternoons were more for questions or review of the week's material than anything else. Classes were about the same so it felt more like reviews than anything else. Their nights were left to each person's own devices, though it was highly discouraged to engaged in behavior that was unbecoming of a Ranger Candidate. They had been warned their every move was watched in the Academy and it would not tolerate any form of physical altercation that indicative of a fight nor would it tolerate any type of sexual activity with one another while candidates were still in consideration. Fair rules considering they were dealing with disparate groups of people who were still also learning to cooperate with one another.

No one wanted a world war to start up while in Ranger training just because two people hit each other outside of combat training or consent wasn't understood or given.

Oddly allowed, gambling.

That one puzzled Lelouch until someone decided to start a pool that evening as to how long until someone broke the rules and threw a punch outside of the Kwoon during training. Side bets were made for what Term, nationality, who against who, all sorts of things. What really amused him was Rivalz had somehow wounded up running the show. Lelouch wondered if he had gone to Ashford Academy would he have brought the other teen along to his underground chess matches?

He watched, amused as the betting got louder in the large gaming room, as he moved a piece on the chess board that was in front of him. He was about to turn it to play the other side in his one-person chess match when a shadow fell over him.

“May I sit and play?”

Lelouch kept his eyes focused on the board as he nodded once. He only lifted them when Euphemia li Britannia took her seat, staring at the arrangement before her.

“Your Highness,” he greeted formally.

“It's Euphie,” she said automatically before her gaze softened. “It's always been Euphie, right?”

It was then that Lelouch knew his half-sister remembered him. Though it had only been roughly three and half years since they had parted, he knew he looked a little different having finally hit adulthood. His lips twitched in a smile as he made a move with his black pawn. She was playing white. “I suppose it is,” he replied carefully, neutrally. He extended his hand out towards her. “Lelouch Lamperouge.”

He could feel eyes on them, watching him interact with her. Those gaze sharpened at the apparent and utterly familiar way he had introduced himself to her. He had noticed in the past week with Euphie apparently flitting from table to table to get to know the small groups that had automatically congregated, many had treated her with deference and even kisses to her hand, giving her due respect as a royal.

There were one or two that had been bold enough to greet her normally, as if she wasn't a royal princess, but they were non-Britannians and many assumed they didn't know custom or identification of a royal. Euphie moving from group to group was completely in character from what he remembered of her. She was a natural social butterfly, easily able to make friends and identify kind traits to bring out the best in people. He had always been in awe of her ability to read a room and make everyone love her. It completely contrasted the gruff and rough demeanor of her older full-blooded sister Cornelia.

But Lelouch had long known Euphie's mind was sharp. Her abilities gave her an insight to take in information and disseminate it like no other person. She deserved to be at the Jaeger Academy and even try out to become a Ranger. Who was he to deny her that when she held the world in her hands. Perhaps, she would even become his partner – if the pesky little thing of the fact that he was a disgraced Prince wasn't exactly getting in the way. He technically was still very incognito from Britannian politics and the royal family. To partner with Euphie would bring additional and unneeded scrutiny – especially on Nunnally.

“Please to meet you Lelouch,” Euphie replied, shaking his hand with a brief smile. She was happy that he had stepped away from formal conventions. Her words also told him that she would keep his secret. She glanced down at the chess board. “I'm not really good at this. My older brother Schneizel was better at it than I was. I also used to have another brother who would play him.”

Lelouch suppressed the urge to snort and instead gestured towards the pieces. “Do you need me to explain the rules or are you comfortable with the current set up?”

“I think...I'm okay. Though fair warning, I'm pretty lousy at strategy,” she picked at a knight and he couldn't keep the wince off of his face. She looked at him. “No?”

He grimaced. “It would be a trap. Can you see it?”

She pursed her lips for a second as she lifted her fingers off of the knight to study the known patterns it could make. What she did was technically an illegal move as she had already lifted the piece off of the board with the intent to move it, but Lelouch wasn't going to call her out on that. Instead, he watched her carefully as her eyes flitted this way and that in minute increments. She finally made an 'o' with her mouth before nodding.

“I see,” she said before she glanced up at him, a grimace on her expression now. “Is...it okay for me to move another piece?”

Lelouch nodded. “I see you remembered.”

“...Yeah...my other brother used to pick on me for that.”

“He did?”

“Yeah...I hated that,” she admitted as she played her rook with more careful consideration.

Lelouch blinked. He did not know that. “Well...I guess on behalf of him, I'm sorry he put you through that.” He felt contrite as he thought back on the times he attempted to teach Euphie. He supposed it wasn't more teaching more like demanding Euphie learn the proper etiquette and rules around chess so he could play her.

She laughed quietly. “It's okay. It taught me to be more aware of my every move and perceptions.”

They played a few more moves until Lelouch finally checkmated her. She sighed, a little dejected but nonetheless nodding her assent. “You're good,” she admitted.

“I had some free time gambling here and there,” he replied.

An elegant eyebrow rose as she stared at him. “Oh?”

“Income,” he replied and the eyebrow fell back flat.

“Oh.” She became quiet.

“It wasn't bad. Things are better now. When I make Ranger Ready, I'll have a steadier source,” he shrugged.

“Family?”

“One sister,” he hedged his words. As much as he loved Euphie, he was still well aware of who's daughter she was and also her position. He left it at that and saw a distant pain flare in her eyes. He refused to allow himself any sympathy towards that pain. She knew as well as the rest of the royal family why he forced the Emperor's hand.

The clearing of a throat made them look up towards its source to see the green-eyed brown-haired Japanese teen staring at them. He held an unusual looking board in his hand with far more marks than a chess board and a small drawstring bag. He had no idea what kind of board game it was. “ _Euphie-san_ , if, um...”

“Oh! I forgot, I'm so sorry Suzaku, er, Kururugi-san, right? Uh-”

“You can call me Suzaku, I don't mind,” the teen grimaced.

“Tack on the -san there, Euphie. It's more polite. You call him Suzaku, more intimate,” Lelouch teased his younger sister.

Euphie immediately turned bright red and sputtered a little. However, it had the opposite effect on Suzaku as he immediately glared at Lelouch, his green eyes chipped.

“ _And what the hell do you know of my culture? Claiming to know about our honorifics. You're no better than those who try to appropriate culture and pass themselves off as experts._ ”

The voice and tone struck Lelouch as quite familiar. He had  _heard_ similar words, but he couldn't quite place it. Instead he coolly looked at the teen. “ _It would hardly be cultural appropriation if it is shared in the spirit of cooperation. The Princess may not be so familiar with your norms._ ”

Suzaku's eyes had widened fractionally at his Japanese before they narrowed into slits. “ _And_ you _are?_ ”

“ _ Hardly _ ,” he shot back in Japanese. He did not like the teen that stood before him. Kururugi Suzaku, or Suzaku Kururugi his mind translated, was unpleasant and combative. He opened his mouth to say more before Euphie stood up, silencing the two of them.

“I...uh, don't mean to be rude, but thank you Lelouch, for your lesson. It's given me some food for thought. Maybe contemplation on strategy that I can now use to play Go with  _ Suzaku-san _ here,” Euphie was a deft hand at smoothing any ruffled feathers. Lelouch nodded curtly as she left with Suzaku trailing near her holding the game board. There was a smug smile on the little bastard's face that he wanted to wipe away-

It hit him then where he had seen the teen before. Just a few years ago when they were all younger. On the beach. A half-eaten sandwhich and accusations flying about joint cooperation or lack there of. Right before K-Watch backup had been announced to be established on Oahu.

He rolled his eyes, utterly disgusted. How did he end up in the same class as the little shit that had kicked him into the sand?! Still, he had to do something to warn Euphie that Kururugi was bad news. He raised his voice and called out.

“Rivalz!”

“Yo, sup Lelouch?”

“What's the bet on first punch or slap thrown outside the Kwoon?”

“Slap?”

“Eh, same difference.” He made sure he met Suzaku's gaze with a malicious one of his own and ignored Euphie's disapproving one. She tugged on the sleeve of the Japanese teen's shirt to move to their own corner, but he stood steadfast, sensing the challenge being thrown out.

“Two hundred,” Rivalz replied.

“I call that and place it all on Princess Euphemia.”

Dead silence greeted his declaration. No one had placed  _any_ bets on Euphie.

He saw the murderous intent immediately burst into Kururugi's eyes at the words. The Japanese teen looked about ready to pounce at him. Good, Lelouch hoped Euphie would come to her senses and see that the teen was nothing but a brute – albeit physically gifted one. However, she seemed to defy his expectations as she apparently got fed up with tugging Kururugi's sleeve and instead, grabbed his hand, freezing the Japanese teen in place.

Lelouch frowned a little as his own eyes tracked down to their hands. Another tug followed by a shake of her head had Kururugi following the Princess to their gaming corner. He was left with a rather disquieting sensation that he did not want to name.

* * *

The bet was fulfilled not even a full twenty-four hours later.

Breakfast on Sunday morning provided both the entertainment and also the reduction of power the Purist faction supposedly had on the Class of 2016-A. Euphie had been cornered and somewhat forced to sit with the faction out of sheer politeness before something happened and there was a sudden resounding slap that echoed like a thunderclap in the mess hall.

Everyone, including the instructors on break, stared. The person Euphie had slapped was a young twenty-something named James Machlin. Apparently he had been a Knightmare pilot serving on the front lines of the war with the E.U. before applying to Jaeger Academy – at least that was what Lelouch had read the night before to study up on the Purist faction members in his class.

All watched as Euphie, white as sheet, marched away from the table, not even bothering with her tray and immediate walk over to Marshal Tohdoh's table where he had been enjoying a traditional Japanese breakfast with his partner Nagisa Chiba. No one could hear what was said, but Nagisa seemed sympathetic while Tohdoh merely nodded once.

Euphie then marched over to one of the other tables near the one occupied by the Ashford Academy group – including himself – and sat down. She immediately began a conversation as if she had not just hit someone.

“Pay up,” Lelouch immediately turned to Rivalz and held out his hand.

“Uh, yeah, sure man,” Rivalz looked dazed.

Lelouch could not help but grin. He knew his half-sister very well. No amount of bullshit was going to fly while she was present and it had only been time before she blew her temper on her 'keepers.' She was not the sister of the legendarily short-fused Witch of Britannia for nothing. He had hoped it had been Kururugi that she slapped, but he would settle for a member of the Purist faction.


	16. Jaeger Academy - Term 1 - Part II

Apparently some time in the first two weeks, Lelouch found out he was considered a friend with the group from Ashford Academy. Naoto was also unofficially included in the Ashford group since Milly considered him an honorary Ashford Academic because of his relationship with Kallen. Lelouch did not know when when it happened, at best considering himself friendly with them but not exactly  _friends_ . Two weeks to get to know everyone did not make for fast friends and he was cautious of their intentions.

Nonetheless, he found himself more often than not going over the curriculum, concepts and theories with the small group, even joined by others. It seemed he and Nina had grasped onto a few of the concepts very fast and extrapolated them to the point where they had even impressed their instructor.

The doctor that had been teaching them promised to send some of their theories up to Dr. Asplund in K-Science. Lelouch was fascinated by the ocean current concepts that had been introduced as possible vectors of kaiju attack models. He studied them along with oceanic patterns waves, earthquake and seaquake data, volcanic measurements, debris flow, anything and everything he could get his hands on. The bunk room he shared with several others looked like it had been covered in a sea of oceanography maps.

Week Two of Term 1 also started combat training. Here they were expected to put the bushido katas they've learned into practical application. Lelouch, like the others who had not been exposed to combat much did not understand the concept until it was demonstrated that they essentially had to shadow fight an opponent.

“Oh...heh,” Rivalz rubbed his head sheepishly. “I thought we, actually, you know, had to beat each other up with the bo staff.”

Nagisa's grin was wolfish. “We start those in Week Three.”

All of them who had never participated in combat gulped at her ominous words.

They all were told to keep their forms as best as they could and imagine their opponents before them. How would they react? How would they act? Lelouch felt a little silly doing the motions when he couldn't even picture a kaiju in his mind. He sighed and closed his eyes. He couldn't concentrate with his eyes open. He imagined his mother in her Knightmare, of the piloting skills she had and of the stories she told of how her Knightmare moved.

He held his staff before him and pretended it was a sword and started his movements again-

“Hold!” Nagisa's shout stopped everyone and Lelouch opened his eyes. He saw the instructor walk directly towards him and frowned. “Candidate Lamperouge, what were you doing?”

“...The forms?” He tried.

“It looked like you were using Knightmare Frame forms,” Nagisa arched an eyebrow and Lelouch bristled a little. He could feel eyes on him.

“I couldn't concentrate,” he bit out tightly. “I remembered stories about how a Knightmare moves and mirrored that to combat my invisible enemy.”

“Your enemy won't be moving as a Knightmare should. It will have velocity, speed, and a hell of a lot more height than your average Knightmare,” Nagisa stared at him. “You limit yourself if you think to only concentrate on the Knightmare parts of Jaeger bushido.”

“Ma'am,” he replied, knowing that he couldn't say anything else.

“Keep your eyes open and imagine your opponent, Candidate Lamperouge. They will certainly kill you if you close your eyes.”

A few snickered at her words and he flushed.

He opened his mouth. “Do you have any suggestions in order to form the concentration necessary to imagine such an opponent?”

She did not smile. Instead she simply looked at him and nodded. “Yes,” she said. “Kaiju survivor?”

“Of a sort,” he replied.

“Then you know of the terrifying fear as hundreds of stories of giant alien mass crashing down upon you without a care in the world. Your whole life shrunk down to that single moment where you are just fighting for your life. You can't think, you can't breathe. All you have to do is strike that one blow. You feel the rage, the anger in the injustice as those around you panic. But you don't because you know yourself. You've mastered your fear and you can conquer it.

“You strike that blow, the kaiju reels. You strike again and it goes down. But you do not cheer. No, you are angry and so you want your revenge. You kill it. You strike it so many times until it is a dead thing that no one can name. That you have spent your rage on it. But your rage does not go away. It is an ember, cooling now in the face of your victory.”

She looked at him and Lelouch found that he could not look away. “That, is your opponent.”

She stepped away and he was snapped out of the spell he had fallen into, shaking his head a little. He noted that several of the others, including Kururugi who was near him looked rather taken by her words too.

“Begin again,” she ordered them.

Lelouch set himself, his eyes wide open and brought up the terror and fear he felt at Trespasser. The despair and the helplessness he felt at seeing his sister under their mother's Knightmare. The sorrow and fury at the claw that took his mother's life. He took his emotions and wiped his metaphoric slate clean. All that was left was white-hot rage.

And he struck.

* * *

He was exhausted; mentally, physically and emotionally after that particular lesson. However, he was still coherent enough to approach Instructor Nagisa. She was quietly conversing with Marshal Tohdoh when he stopped politely in front of the two. “Excuse me,” he said quietly.

She looked at him wordlessly. He straightened, hoping that Sayoko had taught him enough about Japanese etiquette, and bowed. “ _I know this may not mean much coming from a Britannian like myself, but thank you for all that you've done._ ” Sayoko had said for most situations when there was a superior before him, an inclination of thirty-degrees should suffice.

Lifting his head he saw Nagisa acknowledge with a curt formal nod and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He had done it and hoped Sayoko was proud of him. “Your thanks is welcomed, Candidate Lamperouge,” Nagisa replied in English. “As is your efforts of international collaboration and cooperation. Not many Britannians would see those outside of their own culture and norms attempt to embrace others. The same could be said for the other cultures that are here. We Japanese have been under threat by Britannia for so long that our own prejudices make us not see the spirit of cooperation when presented. It is a cyclical sadness that keeps perpetuating itself.”

“The kaiju are our enemy, not each other,” Lelouch replied and Nagisa cracked a smile.

“The kaiju are our enemy,” she echoed.

He bid her farewell and left the Kwoon, but did not head to the mess hall. He felt too emotionally wrung out to eat, let alone converse with the others and instead, found himself wandering out to one of the main halls that led in and out of the Jaeger Academy. It was cold here, the insulation a little less than the other places in the building, but Lelouch did not mind it for once.

He found a small alcove where he could watch the snow fall and sat himself in it, letting his thoughts roam. A stray question popped into his head.  _Do you know why the snow is white?_

_Because it has forgotten its own name..._

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Two weeks in and he felt shaky. He loved all of the concepts, analysis and study during his classes, but the physical stuff... It was not just physical judging by today. It was very mental. More often than not, he wished for probably the hundredth time since he arrived on Kodiak Island that Nunnally was here. That just her presence alone could soothe him. He was homesick. Having not been away from her, practically ever. The longest was four days as doctors worked on Nunnally in the operating theater. He had not been allowed in for fear of bacterial and viral contamination.

He scrubbed his face, surprised to feel a dampness on his palms. He stared down at them, squinting in the dim darkness the snow-covered moon shone upon the windows. When had he start crying? He swiped angrily at his tears. He was seventeen, god dammit. He shouldn't act this way.

Lelouch pressed his forehead against the window, letting the coldness seep into his skin, calming himself and closed his eyes. He just needed a moment to rest-

“Oy.”

He was rudely awakened as a sharp finger poked him hard in his shoulder. He looked from the retracting finger to its owner and to his disgust saw Kururugi staring back at him, a frown on his face.

“It's you,” he muttered as he moved his shoulder. “Didn't have to poke me that hard.”

“Yeah, well, you're not supposed to be sleeping out here. It's fifty-four degrees,” Kururugi said. “You're gonna freeze to death.”

Lelouch rolled his eyes. God the Japanese brat could be so annoying. “What are you, my mother?”

“Well, thank you too, Lamperouge,” he sniffed. “Last time I wake you, you insufferable bastard.”

Lelouch clicked his tongue in annoyance as he glanced at his watch. It was at least an hour since the passing of dinner and he realized he was shivering a little. He hopped off of the alcove, suddenly reaching out and grabbing the ledge as a wave of dizziness assaulted him. He blinked, riding through the syncope before it passed. He supposed it was the lack of food and probably the emotional drain.

“Uh...”

“I'm fine,” he glared at Kururugi who rolled his own eyes.

He pushed away and started to head back towards the warmer areas of the building. Maybe there would be some leftover food at least. He heard the Japanese teen's footsteps follow behind him and could feel eyes boring into his back.

“Your bow sucked,” Kururugi suddenly said.

“What?” he turned.

“Your bow to _Nagisa-sensei_. It sucked. Wasn't proper. Just half-assed.”

Lelouch shook his head. “Oh shut up. You're always a critic. Geez. Don't you have anything better to do than to criticize every person's attempt? You criticize everyone's katas, you criticize the exercise in the mornings, the only thing you don't criticize is the classes and I think it's because your brain can't handle that much mental processing!”

“And what about you? Lording over everyone about how great your theories are? I've heard you. You sound like a pompous ass that everyone should listen to. Why should they? You're nothing! You don't know anything like the rest of us. You're learning just like us and I can bet that the kaiju will come up with new ways to confound and blow your theories out of the water.”

Lelouch bristled. He  _knew_ he was learning, just like everyone. He was just sharing the information and speculation so others could learn from it and come up with their own theories. Kururugi was wrong in his assessment. He sniffed and continued to walk. Just who the hell did the teen think he was? His only saving grace was that he wasn't in the same bunk room as the brat. He paused and turned back, nearly running right into Kururugi who had apparently followed him.

The teen backed up a few steps, eyes narrowing.

Lelouch rolled his own. “Stay away, Kururugi. You don't know shit-”

“And neither do you-”

“And stay away from Euphie,” he warned. “She's too good for you and you know it. The way you've been acting, all you'll do is hurt her in the long run. She doesn't deserve that.”

“And she doesn't deserve you call her name in such a familiar way!”

“What? I've always called her Euphie,” he waved his hand in disgust at him before heading into his room.

The door slid shut and Lelouch flopped onto his bed. His dislike of Kururugi grew and he silently vowed that he would avoid working with him or sharing any information with the boy. He also wondered if there was a chance he could talk to Euphie alone – he wasn't going to warn her away, but he wanted her to have at least some information about Kururugi in order to make her own decision.

* * *

Lelouch spied his opportunity in the beginning of Week 3 Sunday night as people sat down to either prepare for the upcoming week of new material or to spend their free evening relaxing. The Ashford Academics – the group name Milly had come up with –were sitting nearby, swapping stories of things that they had started to see rationed and what they would do if something they really liked became rationed. Most of the conversation involved hording. Kallen actually had a legitimate thought of toilet paper which devolved into a discussion on factories, distribution and creation.

It was intriguing enough that Lelouch had been very absently playing his one-man chess game without much thought. The group was now discussing about cleaning wipes and effects on possibly decontaminating or creating super bacteria and viral elements from kaiju blue as well as how current decontamination protocols related to it.

“I'm going to propose to Schneizel that the royal family institutes their own rationing,” Euphie abruptly sat down, startling him from his thoughts. “Can I play black?”

“Sure,” Lelouch turned the board. It was rare for him to play white – much preferring black, but since it was Euphie, he allowed her to do it. “Why though?”

“Morale,” Euphie shrugged, studying the layout. “Also, because it would help the war effort. Cornelia wouldn't mind. She'd probably see it as a benefit for all of those under her command.”

Lelouch stared at his sister. “I...didn't expect her to act in such a way.”

“Drifting...changed her, I think. She's still the same, but she's definitely a little different. Not softer, but maybe...more aware? I'm not sure...even she doesn't quite understand, but I like the changes.”

“We still don't know much about Drifting or how two minds can link together or the after effects if any,” he pointed out. He moved his piece to counter her move and she frowned, studying the board. She hesitantly moved a piece and Lelouch took it, earning a noise of exasperation from her. He chuckled lightly.

“And yet here we are,” she murmured, “offering ourselves up for science.”

“To kill kaiju,” he countered. He swiftly took another one of her pieces and she pursed her lips together.

“To kill kaiju,” she amended.

“Why are you here?” He decided to ask.

She looked up at him through her lashes. He could tell she wanted to say something, but was well aware of those around them. She reached out to move a piece before hesitating and studied the board once again. “Because even though the expectations of myself and my station are set in stone, I don't want those expectations heaped on me.”

“They will be even if you don't want them.”

She snorted quietly. “If I can do good here, whether it is as a Ranger or otherwise then I will.”

“Even if it is just for show?”

“I don't want it to be for show...” she murmured. She suddenly smiled and moved her piece. “Suzaku-san asked me the same questions earlier this week,” she giggled softly, “the two of you really think alike-”

“Nope, I am _nothing_ like that brat,” he immediately cut her off at the same time he moved his piece. “And...sorry, but checkmate.”

She sighed, sounding more of rote than of exasperation. “I can never win. Same with Go.”

“Go?”

“That Japanese game he plays. Well, technically Chinese if you really want to get into the weeds of ancient history, but it's a strategy game. He says I move too hesitantly when I think I'm being strategic. I think he moves too aggressively, but I can see the merits in that. Shortest route to defeating an opponent.”

“Well, if he's beating you, he's not giving you a chance to learn the game,” Lelouch pointed out.

Her lips quirked up in a crooked smile. “Like you?”

“I let you study,” he refused to rise to the bait even though he was aware of his own hypocrisy.

“All right. Teach me then,” Euphie challenged and Lelouch grinned.

“Fine,” he reset the board, letting her play black again. “I play black because I want to know what my opponent is doing. However, some may think it gives me a disadvantage because I will be one step behind. The trick is to make that alleged disadvantage an advantage. Your opening move should be decisive and set the tone of your strategy.”

“Like first strike as Instructor Nagisa said?”

“Yes,” Lelouch reached out and moved his piece. “If this was real, those who aren't prepared to die should not fight. In this case, the philosophy behind it is the King should move and not be protected. But since chess starts out with having to move a piece before you can even consider freeing up your king piece, that piece-”

“-Could be a feint which may be a part of the strategy.”

“Exactly,” Lelouch was glad she was mastering the concept. “However, that said, if you're not sure what to do with your king piece, then think about what your opponent might do if you expose your king. Most players don't expect it and try to protect the king. Good sound strategy. But I like my statements.”

“I couldn't tell with last week's bet,” Euphie raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled.

“You want half of the winnings?” He asked. He could almost imagine the few Purists that were in the gaming room were about to lose it from his words.

“...Lelouch...” Euphie shook her head, a slight pained expression on her face.

He shrugged. “They're watching,” he pointed above them in a vague manner indicating the cameras. “If the Purists decide to retaliate, beating me up or doing something to harm me won't be good for their standings either. In fact, probably a dishonorable discharge. Benefits for me and to lower the Purist faction's standings. I see win-win.”

“Still,” she frowned. “You don't need to be this reckless.”

He shrugged again, ignoring her words. He was a firm believer of using every single advantage he had on the battlefield – whether it was political, social, or even physical. Anything was up for grabs when it came to the kaiju. He was going to make Ranger Ready and no one could dissuade him from that.

“Chess is playing your opponent. Reading them. It's not about the pieces when you can read their body language and their strategy on the board,” he continued his lesson. “You've got the skill to do that, you just need to put it into practice. Playing against me is not really good practice,” he finished. “It is probably also unfair to you.”

“Yeah...” she looked a little sheepish.

“Milly's a good opponent for your level and for practice. Maybe Nina – I've seen her play, but she's more liable to throw the game to you.”

Euphie looked a little disconcerted and Lelouch knew why his sister had that look. It seemed that she had played games with everyone, but because of her status, a lot of people probably did not play to their best and allowed her to win most of the time. He knew why she played against him...and probably why she played against Kururugi as much as he loathed to admit.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he sat back. “I'll play against you, but you're not really going to learn much. Probably the same with Kururugi and his game.” He leaned forward again. “I don't like you hanging out with him-”

“Lelouch-”

“Not warning you away,” he held up a hand to stop her protest from forming. “Just letting you know that he and I met, well, crashed into one another a few years ago when K-Watch was being set up in Hawai'i. Didn't take too kindly to Britannians.”

The frown was back on her face. “Did he ever tell you why?”

“Couldn't get a word in,” he replied easily. There was no need to tell her that the asshole nearly wrenched his arm out his socket. “You ask why he's being friendly to you?”

“Yes,” she stated, but did not elaborate. He merely blinked at her and sat back again.

“Be careful,” he warned.

He wished he could say more, but he knew it was both highly inappropriate in such a public setting and also would give others an impression he really did not want others connecting the dots to. However, he was also well aware that if he asked her for a private conversation, there would be rumors flying about all over the place. They could only meet like this, neutral setting in a semi-public area.

Her frown turned into a neutral look before she absently poked the spike of the crown on the black queen piece. “You know-”

“No,” he immediately cut her off, both knowing what she was referring to. Euphie did not deliberately touch chess pieces outside of a match setting. They both knew the queen piece represented Marianne, as black as her hair and because she was the most powerful piece on the board after the white queen. The white queen usually represented Schneizel for his blond hair and role as Prime Minister – as well as the fact that Schneizel always played white. Lelouch played black because his mother always played black and he learned a lot of his strategies from her.

She let the piece go and sat back herself, crossing her arms underneath her chest. She sighed. “Ranger Ready...” she murmured.

“I'll have plans then,” he replied to her oblique reference. If he made Ranger Ready, there was no way he could keep his lineage a secret then. Schneizel would know because he would be registered along with his mugshot in the PPDC databases. He would be feted along with whomever his partner is at that time and the media would be able to put two and two together. But Lelouch knew by the end of the six months, he would have plans to hide Nunnally and make sure any sort of trace she had on Oahu was either paid off, secured, or neutralized by any means necessary. Sayoko had proven herself only months ago by eliminating a deranged man who had been driven mad by ingesting some badly created kaiju-based product and went after the two of them while they had been playing on the beach.

No one needed to know Nunnally was somewhere in the Hawai'i chain of islands. He himself would technically be the only one of his family on the islands and any attempts to search would be met with dead ends. He knew he would never erase speculation, but he would do everything in his power to minimize her risk. Assassination attempts was at the top of his list of concerns – they had too many since their mother barely survived one when he was just ten.

Euphie nodded solemnly. They stared at the reset board for a few minutes before she uncrossed her arms and stood up. “Thank you, Lelouch, for the lesson.”

“Any time,” he replied and watched her leave, headed out of the gaming room and more than likely to their dorms. He turned back and stared at the black queen piece before tilting it over on its spot. He did not have to turn to know that Kururugi's eyes were on him and that the Japanese teen was not happy.


	17. Jaeger Academy - Term 1 - Part III

Week Three began with Instructor Nagisa's promise that they were now sparring – or as Rivalz put it with a groan during Monday's calisthenics “going to beat each other up with sticks” - with the others in their class.

But it was really Week Seven when the Purist faction tried to assert their power again over the Class of 2016-A. Lelouch suppose it was because Week Seven was all review week and Week Eight of Term 1 was testing time for both classes and physical fitness in order to pass to Term 2. Week Three through Six was when everyone was evaluating others' fighting abilities and commonly used stances for the most part as well as getting used to hitting each other or stopping their weapons from striking the finishing blow.

They were down to about a hundred and fifty something recruits now and were shown the facilities where the Pons testing would begin in Term 2 as well as simulators. Not much was said, the instructors saying that once they found out if they passed Term 1 they would get further instructions on testing for compatibility. But they did encourage the recruits to focus on Term 1 material and learn it inside and out as it would be vital to Term 2.

Lelouch had never studied so hard in his life in between the physical exercises. He still lagged behind, nearly one of the last ones, along with Nina, but he really didn't take much pride in that. Nina was truly destined for K-Science division, as Dr. Asplund was already taking a look at her theories and work with the gleefulness of a five-year-old. He had heard rumors that she was already offered a position, but deferred to test for Ranger Readiness. Asplund apparently had not been too happy, grumbling about how such brain matter shouldn't go to waste being jumbled with another human being.

That particular comment earned a terrifying glare from Marshal Tohdoh that had sent Asplund running away from the halls of the Academy and back to whenever the science and tech divisions were located. Euphie had publicly attempted to apologize for Asplund's behavior. It turned out she had some familiarity with the eccentric scientist through Schneizel's ASEEC. She tried to explain and apologize on behalf of the doctor that Asplund really had no social skills to speak of.

Week Seven and Lelouch really had no other idea of how to improve his stamina or endurance. He even asked Kallen and Naoto for help. It was just enough for him to keep up with the others if he paced himself. But surpassing some of them was impossible. Even Milly and Euphie were technically doing better than he was which left him feeling rather disconcerted. The doctors said there was nothing wrong with him, but it was just perhaps a genetic or psychological disposition of sorts.

But sparring was not only about pacing himself. He had to incorporate strategy and moves, reading his opponent like a live chess match. It was fast, furious – a combination that served him well with chess, but adding the physicality and pacing himself was the last thing on his mind. As he fell flat onto his back on the mat for what was the umpteenth time, he heaved a breath and felt like he couldn't get up. The sounds of others sparring around them vibrated the Kwoon mat he laid upon.

“Hey man, sorry,” Kaname Ohgi's voice was above him and Lelouch cracked open an eye to see the curly-haired man reaching down to help him up. He gladly accepted the leverage as the two of them walked to the edge of the ring and sat back down. He dutifully ignored the frown on Instructor Nagisa's face as she called up the next two opponents to spar.

“Don't apologize,” he could feel Ohgi about to open his mouth judging by the draw of breath. “I don't have the stamina.”

The other man sighed and hung his head a little. “Yeah...we kind of noticed. For such a smart guy, we, err the others in my little group, were wondering why you don't just focus on K-Science like Nina there, but we also know better than to ask.”

“Seems like you're asking now,” he said as they watched the next to combatants go at it in their little breakout group. It was Kururugi and Soresi.

Ohgi's laugh was forced. “...Sorry-”

“Ohgi, you have to stop apologizing,” Lelouch was a little annoyed. “The kaiju aren't going to hear apologies. Take ownership. We're here to learn. Apologizing should only be reserved if you really mean it. And not to the kaiju.”

“S-Sure...” the other man looked startled, but nodded.

They lapsed into silence as Soresi and Kururugi circled each other. Their clashes were short, almost one or two-shot hits, before springing apart. From the last two weeks of sparring, Lelouch had studied almost everyone extensively, both out of curiosity, but also out of a whim that perhaps he could figure out a compatible style of fighting that would suit him in the Jaeger. His own fighting style was short and quick strikes, delivering death with a thousand cuts as he liked to see it – but what he really liked was ending the fight in one or two blows. Like he had told Ohgi, he really did not have the stamina for a long protracted battle and so wanted to move fast, hard and sure. Striking at the weakest point and demolishing his enemy before they could even think of retaliating.

Kururugi's form had power behind it. A sureness that meant even if he could single strike and be done with it – as he had with most of his spars – he conserved his energy, holding some in reserve for a last minute or surprise attack.

Soresi preferred overwhelming force in his initial attacks, blinding his enemy with fast quick moves designed to distract before honing in on that single moment where he could strike and be done with it. It was how most of the recruits still left who had piloted Knightmares preferred to attack. The only exception was Jeremiah Gottwald. The man could never resist a taunt and Euphie had some really good zingers when she had fought Gottwald. It got to the point where Gottwald almost disqualified himself until Lelouch threw in a comment about oranges and how Gottwald compared to the soft center that got the Margrave actually attacking Euphie as she readily agreed to the taunts thrown out.

His half-sister had been delighted and soundly defeated her opponent with the aplomb of her impulsive nature. It also taught the rest of the class that they really needed to take Euphie seriously and earned her some much needed respect and the metaphoric kids gloves most of the class had been wearing around her, coming off.

He glanced over to her circle to see her fall flat on her backside, Kallen's staff pointed at her chest. A cheerful grin was on her face as she accepted her defeat and the hand Kallen provided to pull her back up. He was glad that she was now being treated equally.

He turned back to watch the match, studying both fighters. Neither was inclined to back down at the moment, nor did they have the advantage. They clashed again with a crack of bo staffs and backed away.

“What's the matter Kururugi? Distracted by your infatuation over there?” Kewell taunted. The teen, to his credit, did not respond, circling the orange-haired man carefully. “Like you have a chance with the Princess!” Kewell struck and Kururugi blocked before twisting his bo to thrust up towards the man's chin.

It was met with a sound of disgust and the batting of the bo point away as the two circled each other again. Lelouch studied Kururugi as he struck again, but noticed that the teen's reaction time was just a hair slower than the last strike. It seemed Kewell's words did affect him, breaking his concentration.

He watched as they clashed again, no decisive move and shook his head. He really did not want to help Kururugi, considering his own reservations about Euphie's apparent and open friendship with the Japanese teen – and he could already see hints affection between the two growing. But neither was he willing to stand by and let the Purist faction wear someone down who probably had the best physical chance of making Ranger Ready.

He decided that what he said next was definitely  _not_ an endorsement of Kururugi potentially partnering with Euphie – no, Lelouch was determined to make sure  _he himself_ qualified with Euphie because of their blood and the higher probability of doing so with the sibling pairs that had made Ranger Ready status than random pairings; married couples the exception – but also he relished any chance to deflate the Purist faction some more.

In the spirit of international cooperation and all.

“And why doesn't he have a chance?” He drawled, startling their small breakout group.

Soresi paused, turning his head to stare at him with astonishment. That was also when Kururugi struck. He moved so fast that even Lelouch had a hard time spotting him. But suddenly Soresi's bo was out of his hands, slamming into the ground at the same time the man was swept off of his feet and went cross-eyed at Kururugi's bo pointed in between his eyes.

There was a small triumphant smile on the Japanese teen's face and his eyes glittered in mirth. Lelouch smirked at the expression.

“What the shit?” Soresi pushed the staff away and scrambled to his feet, grabbing his bo. But he pointed it straight at Lelouch. “What the fucking hell you playing at?!”

Lelouch only stared back, a lone eyebrow raised. If that threat was supposed to impress him, he definitely heard a lot worse. A measly stick was hardly a threat. Soresi wasn't even in striking range.

“Terrain advantage,” he replied evenly.

“Terrain-” Soresi made a noise of disgust, “The fuck? Are you some kind of Japanese lover?! Is that it? Turning on your own kind?!”

“Hardly,” Lelouch sneered, “and my own kind? Wow, my own kind. Your Purists wouldn't even consider me one of your own kind. Commoner mother and all, you know? Civilian too? Joining what you think should just be a pure Britannian affair even though Prince Schneizel welcomed all countries – including the E.U. and China I might add, to, you know, _beat the fucking kaiju_.”

It took Soresi two blinks before he was suddenly yelling incoherently and thrusting the bo staff. But Lelouch had already reacted, his fight or flight instincts honing in on the  _threat_ even before he could register his movements. He rolled from his sitting position to his feet and pulled the bo staff that had been the tip of the attack  _closer_ towards himself. At the same time, he loosened a small band that had been a constant companion any article of clothing he wore. It looked rather ordinary, like a thick silicone hair tie that everyone ignored. But his left thumb ran over the insides, a combination of a hidden button presses that activated its true nature.

His fingers curled around the inside of the band, turning it into a knuckle-duster. Its sharpened needle-point was directed towards Soresi. Lelouch stopped, just before four small triangular blades – no larger than his nails – pierced the soft flesh under Soresi's jaw. The Purist froze, feeling the points lightly kissing his skin.

“You know what this is?” Lelouch hissed quietly under his breath as he glared up at Soresi's wide frightened eyes.

“Y-Yes...” the man barely whispered, too afraid to reply; with good reason. The blades were dipped in the toxin of an Australian box jellyfish. There was no known cure and caused death within minutes.

“Lamperouge! Soresi! What the hell is going on?!” Nagisa shouted as she marched over to them.

Lelouch lowered his left hand while releasing the grip he had on Soresi's bo and shoved the man away. The orange-haired man stumbled, his eyes wide with both fear and his face turning red from utter humiliation. Lelouch knew he was in trouble, both for technically starting a fight outside the technical confines of a Kwoon circle, but also probably violating some Ranger Candidate rulebook about hidden weapons or something of that nature. He didn't find that in the book when he had accepted the invite to join the Academy, but he was pretty sure it would be a rule violation considering no one else had produced any hidden weaponry during their lessons.

He sighed and stepped forward. Time to face to music. He held up his left hand to Nagisa, showing her and the others around him what he held before he pressed his thumb in a sequence that sheathed the tiny blades and returned the poisoned compact knuckle duster into its inert state.

He dropped it into Nagisa's outstretched palm. “Please don't try to activate it. It's not a pleasant experience if you get pricked with a blade.”

He expected her to frown and protest, but she merely looked at him, her eyes narrowing slightly before she pocketed the thing. “Lamperouge, my office right now. Soresi, report to the infirmary for checkup. Class, continue!”

He nodded, keeping his expression as neutral as possible. He knew he had jeopardized his candidacy in the Academy with his stunt. At least that was how it would probably be viewed. He kept his eyes forward and ignored Euphie's stricken expression even as she unconsciously touched her own hair.

He only got two steps into Nagisa's office when the door slammed shut behind him and she moved past him to knock on another door. “ _Tohdoh, we've got a situation here,_ ” his mind translated her Japanese.

The other door was opened wider and the Marshal stepped through. Nagisa moved over and pulled at the blinds, shutting it from any potential viewers. She dug into her pocket and pulled out the innocuous-looking weapon and dropped it into the Marshal's hands.

To Lelouch's surprise, Tohdoh merely frowned and gingerly held it in between his fingers.

“Where did you get this?” Tohdoh asked quietly as he rotated the band.

“It was my mother's,” Lelouch replied honestly. “I received it when she died. It was the only thing they allowed me to keep from her body.”

“To keep?” Tohdoh lifted his gaze from the band to stare at him.

“Trespasser's attack left her heavily irradiated that we gave her a close casket ceremony,” he replied tightly. It looked like Tohdoh, and now even Nagisa, recognized the thing.

“And your mother had this?” Nagisa asked.

“Yes,” Lelouch swallowed.

Tohdoh dropped his hands to his side, still fingering the band and stared at him. “Who are you, really?”

“Lelouch Lamperouge,” he replied, “I did not lie on my application.”

The two blinked turned to blink at each other, seemingly communicating silently with eerily matching expressions before they turned back. “Why did you attack Candidate Soresi?”

“I reacted on instinct,” Lelouch said. He supposed telling the truth wouldn't hurt at this point. “All I saw was an enemy bent on taking my life. So I acted.”

“By going into the attack?”

“I had a shorter weapon with less reach. If I waited, Soresi would have had an advantage over me. By shortening the distance, I made it my advantage and caught him off guard with an action that was to my benefit.”

“It was reckless,” Nagisa frowned.

“But it worked,” Lelouch replied. The frown grew deeper and he grimaced. He could not help his habit of pointing things out.

“This was your mother's?” Tohdoh continued.

“Yes.”

“Who was she?”

“A Knightmare pilot,” he replied. “Britannia's best.”

“You mean one of?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Britannia's best.”

Tohdoh opened his mouth to continue to ask him another question, but closed it as a frantic pounding knock made them all look towards the door.

“It's Princess Euphemia, please, let me in to talk!”

Lelouch grimaced. He did not want her here. It was  _not_ her battle to fight. He reached out towards the door, “Don't-”

Nagisa only raised an eyebrow at his attempt to stop her before walking over and opening the door. Euphie stood in front of it, still dressed in her PT clothes her chest heaving. She looked like she had ran several miles.

“T-Thank you-”

Lelouch looked away, unable to meet his half-sister's gaze as she stepped in. It was only when Tohdoh prompted her that he looked back, shaking his head at her. She merely glared at him before extending her hand out. There was another hair tie-like object in it, almost the same exact coloration too.

“I have one too,” Euphie stated calmly. “These are the concealed weapons – our _gom jabbar_ my sister called them – the females of the Britannian royal family receive upon our formal introduction to Court. At least that is when we're supposed to receive it. We normally get it the moment we are able to comprehend what it is supposed to do.”

“And what is it supposed to do?”

“Kill the attacker or kill the user,” Euphie replied. “Box jellyfish venom.”

“Just the females?”

“I'll leave it up to you as to the why,” Euphie did not look shamed, but in fact met Nagisa's question with a serious look of her own. To her credit, Nagisa's expression crumpled and she looked rather disgusted.

“Cornelia had to use hers during training,” Tohdoh sighed, his voice heavy. “We saw its effects. One of the non-Britannian candidates couldn't stand her presence and attacked her. Nearly broke the peace and camaraderie we all claimed to have for our class. We all made a pact to not report it because we knew the importance and fragility of this alliance between formerly warring countries. We all knew we had to beat the kaiju.”

Tohdoh turned to look at Lelouch again. “Who are you, really?”

“Lelouch Lamperouge,” Lelouch replied, “I abandoned my original name four years ago when the Emperor disowned my sister and me after our mother's death.”

“...The Exiled Prince Lelouch vi Britannia...” Nagisa whispered and Lelouch snorted quietly, looking away.

“Is that what they're calling me?” he asked lightly. He glanced over as he felt Euphie's hands gripping his right one. She looked sad.

“And why did you attack Soresi?”

“Instinct,” he replied, “I saw an assassination attempt, I saw an attack coming and I defended myself in any way I could.”

Tohdoh sighed, rubbing his chin. “ _We definitely do have a problem_ ,” he said in Japanese.

“ _It's so similar to Cornelia's. The problem is, our class was small back then. We can't hold all of them to the pact we made. Not with such a divide...”_ Nagisa shook her head. “ _The Purists. My instinct is to dismiss all of them, but we'd lose a lot of Britannian support and your position as Marshal would be in jeopardy. We'd be peddling to favoritism at this rate. The media will have a field day if such a thing happens._ ”

“ _There is also synergy between Candidate Gottwald and Nu. If they pass the tests next week, they may have potential_.” Tohdoh looked frustrated.

“ _Soresi has to go. I don't care. I never liked the boy. He was always picking on Ohgi and the others. We're lucky Kururugi hasn't snapped._ ” Nagisa murmured before she glanced at Euphie. A small smile appeared on Nagisa's face. Euphie, for her part, looked a little confused, but Lelouch was concerned. If whatever non-verbal gesture Nagisa was implying along with her words, it meant Euphie was a calming presence to Kururugi – which bothered Lelouch _a lot_ for reasons, but chiefly, he was a little jealous that the two made such a fast connection when he didn't quite feel the same about any of his other friends.

Rivalz was a good person to talk to, but some times couldn't quite keep up with some of the concepts. Shirley stuttered a lot whenever he had talked with her, but she seemed to be a nice girl. Nina and he connected with concepts, but she was definitely not going to make Ranger Ready and Milly...she was too busy blatantly flirting with him and everyone else for him to really make much of a connection with her. Kallen was rather easy to talk to, but she seemed hesitant at times, as if she still couldn't reconcile her mixed heritage. If she passed Term 1, she was more than likely to partner with her brother Naoto.

The only kinship he felt deeply for was with Euphie. Even then, he had been holding her at a distance throughout the term so not to reveal that he was an ex-royal. But now...no. He couldn't. His plans weren't laid out yet to protect Nunnally. Maybe after that, but right now...too many loose lips. Perhaps in Term 2 when those that did not pass Term 1 were gone, he could broach the subject. But now...no. He couldn't. He had to protect Nunnally.

Tohdoh sighed again.

“Candidate Lamperouge, you're on probation for the rest of the term. We'll call this incident 'use of unauthorized weapons in the Kwoon.' If you pass your tests and move to Term 2, we'll remove this from your records. What this means for you while we still have classes is that you put one step out of line, you make one provocative move that's against regulations, you are immediately out. If that happens, we will consider your application for next class period if you decide to reapply, but know that you will have that mark on your record if you do reapply. Should you fail Term 1 tests, this incident will _not_ appear on your record and you are welcomed to reapply through normal means.”

“Sir,” Lelouch straightened even though all he wanted to do was breathe a sigh of relief. He wasn't getting kicked out...at the moment. But a warning was a warning. He needed to watch his step.

Tohdoh extended his palm out, the innocuous weapon sitting on his palm. “This belongs to you. I know better than to ask you to not wear it upon your persons, but if I ever see this during any point while you're in the Academy, you will be summarily discharged. Do I make myself clear?”

“Sir.”

“The same goes for you Princess Euphemia. The circumstances were different with your sister, but it was also why we wrote the rulebook the way it was. It is our hope that you will find the spirit of international cooperation alive here and never see use of the hidden weapons, your _gom jabbars_ , that you carry upon you,” Tohdoh intoned.

“Yes sir,” Euphie nodded sharply. “Thank you sir.”

“Candidate Lamperouge, your mother was a great pilot and a skilled strategist, even outside of Britannian circles. I hope to see great things from you.” The Marshal said.

“Thank you, sir. It means a lot coming from you,” Lelouch replied.

“Dismissed,” they saluted both Nagisa and Tohdoh formally before heading out of the office.

Lelouch and Euphie trudged down the cold hallway back to the Kwoon. Silence hung between them for a few minutes before Euphie spoke up.

“I'm sorry...Lelouch,” she said, “the things the others are going to say now...”

“Did you tell them who I was?”

“No...” she shook her head, “but they might make connections since I told them you didn't deserve it and you couldn't help it. It was second nature.”

“All true,” he replied.

“Yeah but...”

“Let them talk,” he looked at his sister before reaching out and pulled her closer to him, giving her the first hug in a long time since they had parted years ago. She smiled and returned it by wrapping her arm around his waist and squeezing it. He let her go.

“I wanted to do that since I saw you,” she murmured.

“I know...I wanted to do the same,” Lelouch replied.

“Is...”

“She's safe. Though I need to make preparations to hide her when I continue to Term 2.”

“When? Not if?” Euphie's voice was light, teasing and Lelouch laughed quietly.

“Yeah...got that sticky problem of physicality to deal with,” he admitted.

“Yeah...” she agreed. “Hiding her?”

“Hiding her,” he echoed. “I don't want her to be used. I'll take the burden for the two of us. To get revenge for Mother.”

“Um...” Euphie bit her lip. “C-Can...I visit?”

He looked at her and hesitated.

“I-It's okay. I know, I'm sorry I asked. I can't...I know-”

“...Maybe,” he replied softly. “Maybe...one day?”

Her smile was sad and small. “Okay...thank you, Lelouch. That's...all I ask...”

They returned to the Kwoon, walking close enough to each other that they definitely received some suspicious glances and whispered, words, but they were quelled quickly enough with Instructor Nagisa following behind them. Lelouch went back to his breakout group and sat down, deftly avoiding the small group's gaze.

No one commented on Soresi's lack of return from the infirmary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The term _gom jabbar_ is from one of my favorite epic scifi series "Dune" by Frank Herbert. In it, they are small needle like weapons used primarily to foil assassins or to commit assassinations. In my fusion fic, there is no official word for them since they are only given to Britannia royal females - including concubines - with the express purpose of it being a last ditch weapon in case all other methods fail.
> 
> Since Britannian society is a more feudal than current real life modern day standards, there is, through the eyes of the patriarchal society, a weapon a royal female must have upon themselves to prevent certain war crimes from being committed upon their persons - namely rape. That is also why it is ONLY given to royal females. It's to either kill the attacker or if all else fails, kill the female with the intention that she had survived the attack and was possibly with child to preserve the purity and sanctity of the Britannian royal family.
> 
> Now you know why Nagisa and Euphie are really disgusted by this gender-exclusive weapon and the societal norms and old practices that are "supposed to be traditional." Lelouch has his own thoughts and opinions on the weapon, but at this point, he's more conflicted that it was the only thing he has left of his mother and the fact that its a useful object to him in this case. Threatening someone with box jellyfish venom is advantageous to him.


	18. Jaeger Academy - Term 1 - Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/30/20 - I made a few edits to kaiju names in the 1st 12 chapters when my beta/fellow author pointed out that I got Trespasser and Knifehead mixed up. :P My bad. It's mostly during the whole flashbacks scenes Suzaku has, but I think I caught all of the errors and fixed it.

No one was surprised the next day when Soresi didn't show up for morning calisthenics or breakfast. When the roll call for the morning classes came, Soresi's name was skipped over – like all of those who had dropped out of Jaeger Academy. They all drew their own conclusions and of the quiet nature that Lelouch had adopted to finish out the term.

Lelouch kept to himself for the most part, chastised by both his recklessness and by the mercy he knew he had been very lucky to have been given by Tohdoh and Nagisa. He still sat with the Ashford Academy group, but no amount of prodding of what happened – especially by Milly – made him answer. Instead, he deflected their questions into study of the class materials as they finished out Week 7 and headed into Week 8. He avoided associating with Euphie, even on their semi-regular chess matches on Sunday nights. He did notice however, she played and seemingly answered Kururugi's questions on her regular Saturday evening Go matches. He didn't know what they talked about, but it seemed like Euphie was her cheerful self again. He supposed if there was a saving grace of sorts was that Kururugi was one of the very few that acted like nothing happened nor had sought either of them out to pester with questions.

He still found the teen rather annoying, but in this case, maybe Kururugi did have a sense of tact that he thought had been sorely lacking for the last couple of months. Of the Ashford Academy group, only Kallen seemingly acted somewhat normal towards him.

She made it a point to sit next to him, but didn't join in the prodding by her fellow classmates. Instead, she either quietly ate her food or studied next to him, occasionally asking him a few questions on the material. Milly had even commented that Kallen was acting quite like her Academy self when she was pretending to be sickly. The red-haired girl merely shrugged and said that she wanted to do good on her tests.

Milly immediately tried a new tactic and teased Kallen for having an apparent crush on him. Kallen denied it, but sitting so close to her, he could tell that she was flushed with embarrassment and her breathing had gotten a little faster with Milly's words. Taking some pity on her, and also because Naoto's brow was getting quite wrinkly with all of the innuendos Milly was throwing around – he knew the big brother instinct when he saw it having experienced it himself – he asked Milly to stop with her teasing.

The President of the Ashford Academy Student Council had flopped over in her chair rather dramatically and stared to complain about how he was taking the wind out of her sails and so forth. He merely sighed – Milly would never change, nor did he want her to.

Testing during the the eighth week of Term 1 was grueling. Everyone, even those who were older and had military training, looked like zombies when they were done with the week's tests. They were tested on concepts, on material review, heavily on J-Tech and K-Science even putting forth new theories and possibilities.

Towards the end of the week, they were also to be tested on their physical fitness and Lelouch wondered if it had been deliberately scheduled so that everyone's minds was complete mush and mental exhaustion had settled so that brain processing was slower. Each person drew slots and Lelouch breathed a sigh of relief that he got one of the earlier slots. All candidates were not allowed to see the final physical test until they themselves took it.

The last Friday of Term 1 came too fast in his opinion, but he found himself in the Kwoon, with a handful of other candidates watching. They had drawn earlier slots than he and were now fully enjoying the end of Term 1, relaxing in the stands. He saw Milly and Nina already sitting there, Nina with her glasses off seemingly ready to sleep.

Instructor Nagisa was waiting in the ring and he bowed to her before stepping in per protocol.

“Your final test, Candidate Lamperouge,” Nagisa's gaze was serious. “I am a kaiju, you are the Jaeger. Come at me.”

“Any weapon?” he asked.

“Any weapon,” she confirmed.

“Terrain?”

She smiled slightly. “The confines of the Kwoon. We are on the Miracle Mile and you will keep me there. Flat sea surface with no continental shelf.”

“Got it.”

He nodded once and plucked the bo from its place, giving it an absent twirl as he studied her. She was tall for an Asian, definitely fit because of her status as a Jaeger pilot. Her Jaeger was Coyote Tango which had lighter armor than some of the other recently built Jaegers. It gave her a speed advantage along with ballistic mortar cannons for long range destruction. Coyote also carried an energycaster cannon, experimental, but yet to be tested against a kaiju. The mounted weapons was not the problem – it would be speed against Instructor Nagisa. She would be used to moving very fast and there in was his solution.

But he also heeded her warning that she was a kaiju. He studied her once more before he raised his chin up towards her, a gesture for her to attack first. Her eyes widened in surprise before a mirthless smile appeared on her face and she charged at him. He dodged her first blow easily, swinging to meet her bo with his own. He slid the stalemate downwards towards the mat before shuffling forward in an attempt to lock her legs, but she danced back quickly and charged at him again.

He blocked, one high one low shot and moved in towards her, turning against her bo and struck. However, she lashed out with forward kick at him, weak, but effective as he shuffled back. He did a quick study of her again, she favored her left side a lot. Which meant she was the left hemisphere. Her right side was guarded and protected, but not as much as her left.

He dove towards her again, swinging two swings high back and forth before he kicked out towards her. She bent forward, and swung her bo upwards almost breaking his guard. His hands shook from the force of the impact, but Lelouch refused to let go. Her eyes glittered with mirth and she curtly acknowledged his grip on his weapon with a small satisfied nod. However, just as she looked to step back for an assessment, he struck, crouching down and immediately sent his own staff up towards her solar plexus while his legs locked with hers and sent her flying towards the mat.

He immediately locked his knees against her own, pinning her into place and extended his left hand towards her face in a jabbing motion, all five fingers clamped together to make his own hand into a spear point. He held it just above her eye. A smirk appeared on Nagisa's face as she tapped his thigh lightly with a hand, the indication of yielding.

He nodded once, a small smile forming on his own face as he untangled her legs from his own.

“Do you want to go again?” she asked as they stood up.

He was nearly bowing before her words registered and he looked up in surprise. “We can go again?”

“A kaiju never yields until it is dead,” she replied.

The small smile became wider and he nodded. He was feeling a little breathless already, but it made sense. He knew he probably couldn't try the same trick twice, but if he had another opportunity to go at her again, he would take it. He straightened and stepped back, holding his bo in a ready position.

She returned the favor, twirling her own in a rather showy fashion before she held her ready stance. She gestured for him to attack. They met again, but he was down on the mat in two moves, her speed incredibly fast. He rolled to his feet to try again and was down on one hit this time. He tried again, but could feel exhaustion deadening his limbs and fell to the ground again, pinned by her staff after one move. He yielded and bowed to her on his way out.

Lelouch took the water bottle Milly handed to him with a grateful appreciation and downed almost three-quarters of it.

“You were the first to knock her down,” she said. “Though I do have to admit, those other three times after-”

“Yeah...” Lelouch watched as the next candidate came in to fight Nagisa. “Stamina...what can I say. Expended it all trying that gamble.”

Milly patted him gently on the back. “It's okay Lelouch. Maybe knocking her down will at least count for something?”

“I hope,” he said, sipping the water. “How did you guys do?”

“Eh...Two times then I retired. Nina here-”

“One hit...” the green-haired girl looked down. “I...I'm not cut out for the physicality of this...”

“You did your best,” Lelouch offered and Nina nodded shyly.

They settled to watch the others fight their way through Instructor Nagisa. Euphie was part of the middle of the pack. She got a few good hits in, but she ultimately did not pin the instructor down. A couple others did, like Jeremiah Gottwald, but Villetta Nu almost did except for the one time he saw she could have taken advantage, she faltered in a weird way as if it was not so honorable. That cost her her chance and she had found herself flat on her back with Nagisa holding her bo over her.

Euphie joined them on the bench along with Rivalz, Shirley, Naoto and Kallen as they watched. Surprisingly Jeremiah and Villetta had broken away from the grouping of Purists and were sitting pretty close, though a little bit away from them. Lelouch was satisfied seeing the Purists' hold finally broken over their class. It seemed Soresi's dismissal had finally gotten through to the Purists that their attitudes and mindset would not be tolerated in any form.

“Oh man, I'm beat,” Ohgi staggered up to them after his session. “Can I sit?”

“Sure,” Lelouch nodded and the older man all but collapsed into the seat near them. He was handed a water bottle by Naoto.

“Well, I guess Instructor Nagisa is looking pretty tired too, right?” Euphie offered consolingly.

“Yeah, but she may be faking it. Seriously. I thought I got her and blam, there she was...” Ohgi groaned, throwing a hand over his eyes.

“Damn, you got lucky then, Lelouch,” Milly commented.

“Eh?” Ohgi lifted his hand and craned his neck up towards them.

“He was the first to pin her,” Milly offered.

“It wasn't luck,” Lelouch shook his head. “I just read her and knew what she was going to act. She's Coyote Tango's left hemisphere so her right side, while protected, was a little more vulnerable since she has Marshal Tohdoh there to help with the neural load. Also Coyote Tango is known for its speed and light armor, so she was going to move fast. Then she kept up the traditional reset phase...and I figured, if I was a Jaeger, who gives a shit about resetting. I'm going after a kaiju with every single advantage I have including sneak attacks.”

“Wow...you took all of that just from reading Instructor Nagisa?”

“More importantly, you extrapolated that?” Ohgi looked impressed as did Naoto. “You looking to be a Marshal?”

“Nope,” Lelouch popped the last syllable. “I just want to kill kaiju.”

“Fair,” Ohgi nodded. “But seriously...that's pretty impressive.”

“Speaking of impressive,” Milly suddenly said, her tone rather throaty before she nudged Euphie in the shoulder. “Hey Princess, its your crush...And he's looking pretty fine...” They all turned to see Kururugi walk in, his expression dead serious. He was wearing his PT gear, but had his sleeves rolled up apparently to give himself maximum mobility. It also showed off very toned arms.

“Milly!” Euphie turned beet red and Lelouch turned to stared at his half-sister. “You didn't need to say that out loud!”

“What?” Milly attempted to look innocent, but failed rather spectacularly as those around her put their palms to their faces.

“Milly, I feel sorry for whomever you end up Drifting with,” Lelouch muttered mostly for Euphie's sake who sat next to him, but also for the others. It didn't stop the blonde-haired girl from laughing like a maniac.

“ _Kururugi-san_?” Naoto looked like he was about to join in laughing with Milly.

“....Yes,” Euphie looked down, but her eyes kept darting upwards to where Kururugi was waiting on Nagisa. The instructor had moved away to talk to Tohdoh for a few minutes. “He's...nice...”

Lelouch resisted the urge to sigh in exasperation. Of course with all of the time spent playing Go with the Japanese teen as well as talking with him, his half-sister would end up having a crush on the brute of a boy who happened to be one of the best at all of the drills.

“Uh huh, nice...and...?” Milly prompted in between her chuckles.

Euphie shrunk a little, clearly not quite used to the merciless teasing she was receiving. “He's...sweet, gentle...a good person underneath all that bravado he has. And he cares about winning this war too-”

“Uh huh...”

“He's a gentleman!” Euphie shot a look at Milly. “He's a perfect gentleman and if you think he's done anything-”

“Sorry, sorry,” Milly held up her hands, a kind smile on her face. “I don't mean to imply, but seriously, Princess, you make it too easy for me to tease you like this. You have to have more guts in order to own up to what you want! Be decisive! Tell him! You hiding like a wallflower isn't going to give him any hints! You guys could be Drift partners next term!”

“T-That's t-true-”

“Whoa...is he really facing up against Marshal Tohdoh?” someone suddenly said loudly.

Everyone turned to see Nagisa step back and Tohdoh stepping up, having shed the outer layer of his uniform. Kururugi looked rather surprised before a grin worked its way up his face as he settled into his opening stance.

“Makes sense...Tohdoh is, or was his _sensei_ ,” a member of the Japanese group that sat near them explained.

“Was?” Kallen asked.

“Marshal Tohdoh served the Kururugi household and taught _Suzaku-san_ kenjutsu when he was growing up. Better to face off against his old master and surpass him. Very traditional too. I like it,” the person nodded his approval.

Lelouch noticed a lot of the Japanese candidates nodding too. He supposed there was some irony, but also a healthy dose of honor and respect similar to knighthood in Britannia. The squire system had been replaced with more of a mentorship and promotion to Knighthood, but Knighthood could only be given by a member of the royal family. So a lot of the Personal Knights mentored potential Knight of Honors – forming their squadrons or groups especially when it came to Knightmare combat. It was also a very popular concept among the Knights of the Round which also gave Britannia a distinctive edge when it came to battles. One Knight of the Round with their personal squadron of loyal soldiers behind them could be akin to a whole battalion just by sheer skill alone.

Cornelia had her Glaston Knights, Knight of Ten Luciano Bradley his Valkyrie Sqauadron, Schneizel with his ASEEC – though Lelouch could not make heads or tails on the ranking system of his half-brother's pet project. Even Jeremiah Gottwald and his Purist faction – however irregular they were, with rumors that they had the ear of First Princess Guinevere de Britannia – could be considered equal to a battalion in battle. Every single person that served under an official Personal Knight of a royal or Knight of the Round had ambition and a drive to better themselves so they themselves could be promoted or win the favor of their patron. All loyal to the Emperor of course.

“Is it to win favor?” he asked, bringing all heads to them.

“Uh...?” Ohgi looked a little lost, but Naoto shook his head.

“Not in the Britannian style. I get what you mean, Lelouch,” the other man tapped his lip for a second. “In a way, _Suzaku-san_ fighting his former master is more about showing that he is ready to advance past the teachings of the teacher, but not for fame or gain of favor. Not like the Knights and their cadre, coterie, whatever you call it. It's more about overcoming the inner self and obstacles. Though I do have to point out, there are always exceptions-”

“Including those in the Knights system, yes. I meant more about Kururugi,” Lelouch agreed.

“Yeah, it's more for probably just to surpass his teacher. There is a lot of pressure on the kid,” Naoto shrugged. “He won't say much about it, but it doesn't take a genius to read between the lines of Japanese society that if he fails out or does anything to jeopardize his standing, he'll lose a lot of face, not only for himself, but for the Japanese people too.”

“Oh, I get it,” Euphie nodded sagely. “Passing or in this case giving it his all against Marshal Tohdoh to get approval and go into Term 2 is equivalent of asserting Japan's equality in this war in this eyes of the Japanese. Since the Marshal and Instructor Nagisa were the first Japanese to get their Jaegers and because Suzaku-san is the Prime Minister's son, he would be seen as the 'top' right?”

Lelouch stared at his sister, mildly surprised by her insight. The others, especially the Japanese contingent looked shocked, but even they nodded, smiles on their faces.

“I can see why _Kururugi-san_ admires you greatly, Princess Euphemia,” Naoto replied quietly. “You're unlike many in the royal family we've heard stories or watched the news about. As well as giving us a much needed lesson on tolerance and of assumptions.”

Euphie blushed. “I...um, thank you...”

“You could cheer for him-” Milly paused before glancing at the others, “is that allowed?”

“Eh...sorta yes? In this case...maybe no? Not sure...I mean-” Ohgi shook his head, unsure.

“Whoa, there they go!” Rivalz suddenly cut in and everyone turned back to see that Kururugi had made the first strike with a resounding loud crack that echoed around the Kwoon.

It was hard, fast and furious before he broke it off, his gaze focused solely on Marshall Tohdoh. Lelouch watched, intrigued at how different Kururugi's fighting style had become from what he had observed of the teen in recent weeks.

“Is it me or is he fighting a hell of a lot different?” Kallen frowned. Lelouch shot a quick look at her. He wasn't the only one who noticed. Up front Jeremiah and Villetta both had sat up, staring at Kururugi.

“He's fighting without restrictions. He knows that the time of lessons is over and he can unleash his full potential,” Euphie murmured next to Lelouch. She had a broad smile on her face, her eyes wide and hopeful.

He turned back as the two went at it again and again. The Marshal suddenly moved and Kururugi was pinned to the ground. However, he didn't tap out and instead, rolled into the pin, freeing himself before coming at Tohdoh. They clashed again and again and Lelouch found himself hunched forward, his hands laced together, his chin resting on his hands.

There was power in that form, the artful way dodging the instructor's blows. He would definitely score the highest in the combat part of the evaluation. Lelouch had to admit, he was readily impressed.

He glanced at Euphie again as the fight continued. She was enraptured. Maybe a little bit aroused too judging by the pink that colored her cheeks. He looked back. He would have to have a talk, just to check the intentions and make sure Euphie would not be taken advantage of. Still, he couldn't help the small sliver of jealousy. Euphie would surely be part of a pilot pair by the end of the six months... He hoped he was her chosen partner instead of that particular asshole that was fight with a lithe gracefulness on the mats.

Kururugi was still a brat in his opinion. Annoying, judgmental and constantly criticizing anyone and everyone; contrary to what Euphie said about him earlier to the others. The Japanese teen was only nice to Euphie, but Lelouch held no reservations of his own opinions about him.

He watched as the Marshal and the scrappy teen went at it again, unyielding and never taking a break. There were several times Tohdoh pinned Kururugi, but nothing was said to yield and go again. Instead, each time Kururugi rolled into his pins, freeing himself – sometimes looking like they were quite painful – and continued to go after his former master.

About forty-five minutes in, the class was beginning to murmur in both apprehension and concern. Neither of the combatants were slowing down. The longest a fight had lasted was twenty minutes and that was Naoto's. Lelouch glanced at Euphie to see her the skin above her cornflower blue eyes crinkle with concern. The initial flush she had was gone and was replaced by the worried nibbling of her thumbnail. He looked back again as another resounding crack echoed in the Kwoon. Kururugi looked flushed, and was clearly sweating buckets, but his green eyes were bright with determination even though his stances looked a lot sloppier than the forms from early on. His breath was ragged, visibly heaving in the PT clothing. Still, he pressed on with a cry and another crack of the bo staff hitting Marshal Tohdoh's counterattack.

“Erm...” Rivalz cleared his throat, “how...uh, how long is this going to take?”

Ohgi and the others shook their heads. Even they looked surprised at how long the fight was going on.

It went on for another half an hour by Lelouch's estimates. By the end of that half hour, it was clear both combatants were on their last legs. Tohdoh had even begun to just swing his bo and easily deflect Kururugi's sloppy attacks, but the man did not say a thing. He wondered what was holding the Marshal back. Normally a 'yield' or something was said by now.

It was only with Kururugi heaving a breath and setting himself into yet another attacking stance that everyone's attention was broken from the devolved combat spar with the clapping of hands from the entrance to the Kwoon.

All eyes turned to see Second Princess Cornelia li Britannia and her Knight of Honor Gilbert G.P. Guilford standing by the entrance. The magenta-haired princess was clapping her gloved hands together.

Lelouch however, was focused on Kururugi and a small crooked smile appeared on his lips as he knew exactly what was going to happen just a half second before it happened. Tohdoh had looked away and that was when Kururugi struck. The final crack of the bo staff was punctuated seconds later by its clatter onto the mats. Kururugi's own bo was extended right by Tohdoh's left ear – and the intent of if it had been a bladed weapon clear.

Lelouch smirked as the Kwoon went absolutely silent.

“Yield,” Kururugi stated in a simple voice as if exhaustion was the last thing on his mind.

Tohdoh nodded once, and Lelouch could have sworn a smile was on the man's lips, but it disappeared just as quickly. It was only then that Kururugi stepped back, lowered his bo and practically collapsed into an ungraceful heap onto the ground.

“Suzaku!” Euphie leapt up next to Lelouch and immediately hurried down from the stands as several others hurried over to the exhausted candidate including Ohgi, Kallen, Naoto and others of the Japanese contingent. Lelouch watched as they congregated around before a flurry of movement was seen and Lelouch spied Euphie all but hauling Kururugi to his feet – aided by Naoto – and the two walked the Japanese teen out of the Kwoon.

“Euphie-”

“Not now, Cornelia,” Euphie passed by her older sister, earning both a wide-eyed look of surprise from the Witch of Britannia, but also gasps of surprise from the others who heard her. Even Guilford looked mildly shocked.

But Cornelia recovered quickly and immediately turned and strolled towards Tohdoh who was toweling off, attended to by Nagisa. The two were conversing in low voices, but it looked like Nagisa was giving some serious heat to the Marshal's ears. He wished he could hear what was being said, but with Cornelia's surprise appearance, Lelouch decided to take his leave and walked quickly out of the Kwoon. He hoped to avoid his older half-sister's notice, but was also puzzled as to why she suddenly arrived at the last day of term.

An empty hallway greeted him and Lelouch considered going back to the dorms before he decided to talk with Euphie, and maybe Kururugi, if he was coherent enough. There needed to be ground rules laid out if both of them passed Term 1 and went into Term 2. It was clear to him now that Euphie would more than likely do a Drift test or a compatibility test with Kururugi. Lelouch still had hopes that he would be compatible with Euphie, but was also kept in mind that as much as he wanted to selfishly monopolize Euphie to himself for Drift compatibility, his sister would not see it that way. She would be as stubborn as he was to ensure that she tested with whomever _she_ wanted. She was stubborn like that – a distinctive trait of the li Britannias.

He found himself entering the infirmary and headed towards the section that had been cordoned off by a privacy curtain. There was no other patients in the infirmary and he could see shadows of legs moving about.

“-Got nothing to prove anymore. You're gonna pass. With that sneak attack? Yeah...” Naoto was saying.

There was a quiet huff of laughter, probably from Kururugi.

“Why keep at it?” Euphie's voice was full of worry, but also genuine curiosity.

“Can't give up. Until it's registered as actually dead, we can't give up. I wasn't planning to until Tohdoh yielded.”

“Kid, you got thrown around like you were just a rag toy. Looked painful,” Naoto interjected.

“Felt it too,” Kururugi replied quietly.

Euphie made a humming noise.

“But think about it. You may not get that opportunity to strike until the very last minute. Then you make that blow count for everything,” Kururugi explained.

“Kamikaze attack?”

“Kami-what?”

“Suicide attack,” Naoto replied.

“If it has to be,” Kururugi didn't seem to bothered but Lelouch didn't have to imagine the frown of disapproval on Euphie's face.

“Then what if you're need after? For another attack?” she countered.

“That is a good point Euphie,” Kururugi replied, “err...”

“You can call me Euphie. Everyone does and I've been trying to get you to say it since Week 1.”

“...Sure...”

There was a loud sigh from Naoto before he drew the curtain back a little and stepped out. “I know when _I'm_ not wanted. Just don't get any funny ideas while the adults are gone.”

Lelouch caught a glimpse of the two flushing red before Naoto left them, brushing past Lelouch with a wave. He nodded towards the other man in a silent greeting. Turning back, he saw Euphie peer out. He gestured with a tug of his shirt's collar to silently indicate he wanted to talk with her. It technically meant to talk with her in the attic or somewhere high, but in this case, since outside was impossible due to the cold, it would stand for talking with her alone. She blinked once before nodding. It was an old code that they had come up with when they were children to get away from the prying eyes of servants, their parents and others.

She said something quiet to Kururugi before stepping out, but didn't draw the curtains close. Instead, she gestured for them to step a few beds away. He didn't protest her choice of location, considering that there really was nowhere else to go and the hallways were definitely not a good place to have any type of private conversation.

“You really want to Drift with him?” he asked, keeping his voice low.

“Yes,” her blue eyes were serious.

He nodded. “All right,” he replied. “Can I only ask one favor from you?”

“Anything, Lelouch,” she smiled, seemingly happy that he wasn't going to protest anymore over her choice of Drift partners.

“Can we test at least once?”

“Of course. I wouldn't deny us the opportunity,” she replied, “the criteria also said sibling pairs were more than likely to be Ranger pairs.”

“But I think you'd be disappointed if you didn't Drift with Kururugi.”

“I like him,” she replied. “I know what it may mean if we're not Drift compatible in the end, but I cherish his friendship.”

“Choose him as your Knight,” he offered. “It may help strengthen the bond I think...”

She laughed quietly. “I would...except I'd probably be disowned-” She immediately winced at her choice of words, but he waved his hand.

“Water under the bridge between us Euphie. You can never make me angry.”

She smiled at him. “You've a kind heart Lelouch...like him in ways. Hey, maybe-”

“No...” he held up a finger. “Please don't even think of suggesting it.”

“All right,” she merely shrugged. “But, anything is possible in Term 2.”

“I just hope I passed,” he muttered under his breath.

She laughed quietly again just as the doors to the infirmary opened and the laughter died a little as they both turned to see Cornelia enter, shadowed as always, by Guilford. Lelouch stiffened. There was no way that Cornelia would _not_ recognize him. But what she would do with the information was even more serious than recognition. She was the Second Princess, the Witch of Britannia and was a favored child of the Emperor for both her military prowess and her accomplishments on his battlefields. In terms of ranking, she was probably second to Schneizel if the Britannian Prime Minister had their father's favor in the first place. She was the one sent in to clean up military messes while ruthlessly conquering and eliminating resistance in the Areas.

“Ah...I was hoping to find all three of you here,” Cornelia walked towards them and Lelouch felt his stomach drop at the white envelopes in her hand.

It was their test scores.

And held their fates on whether they passed Term 1. He felt Euphie cling onto his hand in reflexive fear. Guilford stood by the doors to the infirmary, seemingly blocking their escape – if they really wanted to leave.

The harsh sound of curtains being drawn back made them look to see Kururugi gingerly standing up from where he had been lying on a bed. Lelouch could not keep the shock off of his own expression at how _mottled_ the Japanese teen looked. Bruises, some already fading into deep purples and reds littered his arms. Suzaku was sporting a black eye that was already puffing up and closing his left eye. He had a few bandages wrapped around his head, dotted red from blood.

“At least you have a week to recover,” even Cornelia was staring at the teen with a critical eye before handing out the envelopes. “Congratulations, all of you. You've passed Term 1. Your final scores are inside the envelopes. I was brought here to tell you that Guilford and I will be helping you out with Pons training and give advice about compatibility. The Gage twins will be joining end-of-term if there are no kaiju attacks.”

She handed the first envelope to Euphie. “Good marks. Even for the most part, though you scored really well on J-Tech knowledge. Keep it up and I think Asplund or Chawla will want you in J-Tech division of K-Science.”

“I'd like to stay with being a Ranger, Cornelia,” Euphie winced, “if that's all right.”

Cornelia, to Lelouch's surprise, hugged Euphie. “It's fine. Just find a good partner, all right?” Her next look was directed frostily at Kururugi as was her words. “And when I mean that, I mean lose the whole death seeker thing if you even _want_ to consider Drifting with my younger sister here.”

“Ma'am-er, Your Highness,” Kururugi looked a little cowed by the death glare.

Cornelia's smile was sweetly venomous as she handed the Japanese teen his envelope. He opened it, reading through it quickly. “Good marks across the board too, though obviously judging by what we saw in the Kwoon – you've the highest mark in the three classes we've had so far. I don't think anyone's going to break that record any time soon.” She looked him up and down. “Nor would I advise them to do it.”

Kururugi huffed a quiet laugh, holding his ribs.

“And you, Lelouch Lamperouge,” Cornelia turned to him and handed him the envelope. He took it, glancing up at his older half-sister who seemed to not acknowledge their familial relationship much. “Asplund, Chawla and Lightcap all want you on their teams. It's in your scores. Physically...” she shrugged, “you passed by the skin of your teeth. Thank Chiba for that next time you see her. She found your attack technically rule breaking, but allowed considering the scenario. I think you just surprised her with your sneak attack, very similar to Kururugi here. Tohdoh's bandied your name about us senior pilots as a potential new position of Strategos for the war effort because of your tactical expertise. ”

Lelouch looked at his score and saw what she said was true. He was a little surprised at Tohdoh's recommendation, but he shook his head. “I-”

“Jaeger pilot. I know. Marianne would be proud.”

Lelouch pressed his lips together at the mention of his mother's name. He blinked once before Cornelia stepped back. “Euphie, we need to talk over a few things before we leave for Pendragon tomorrow morning, okay?”

“...Sure.”

“It'll be fine,” Cornelia seemingly ignored her sister's hesitancy and Lelouch was too lost in his own thoughts to even acknowledge the worried look he got from his younger half-sister. He didn't realize they had left with Guilford trailing dutifully behind them until Kururugi spoke up.

“You're Lelouch vi Britannia, aren't you?”

He looked up from the sheet that held his scores to see the teen settling himself back into the bed once more. He wanted to say something smart, something to deflect, but for the first time, he was at a loss for words and just nodded silently. The epithet that he had apparently been given in his absence 'The Exiled Prince' was on his lips but he didn't say it. It was too hollow, too unfamiliar. And he hated it. He had divorced himself from the throne. He was not in exile. He was _not_ a Prince anymore. There was nothing to rally around like the name suggested.

“Thank you...for the opening against Soresi,” Kururugi suddenly said and Lelouch stared at the other teen. “Got me thinking...against _Tohdoh-sensei_.”

Lelouch suddenly did not want to be there and he did not know why. “It was nothing,” he mumbled before throwing a quick look at Kururugi. “I hope you get better soon.” He fled before the Japanese teen could say anything else. He was never glad for a week of break between terms until now.

* * *

Sleep came rather easily for Lelouch, his body finally relaxing from both the tension of the testing, but also because he would finally be able to visit Nunnally after being away from her for so long. Like the other candidates that had passed and those that did not, they spent the night booking flights back home or elsewhere for the short break. He woke the next morning, still oddly sleepy, but nonetheless ate his breakfast while saying his farewells to the others.

They learned that Nina had not passed, but she didn't seem too put out by it and instead, was quite cheerful about the news. She accepted a position with Dr. Lightcap and developing the Pons so they would see her occasionally in Term 2. He briefly wondered if Dr. Asplund was crying into his Earl Grey tea for Nina's rejection of his offer. Milly had passed, but it was very close. Rivalz also marked the same, though he did higher on the technical aspects than physical. Kallen and Naoto had both passed with flying colors – and Naoto had been utterly ecstatic, cheering and making a general ruckus during the breakfast.

Of the Purists, Jeremiah and Villetta passed, but surprisingly most of the Purists did not. He suspected it was probably the technical components that tripped up a lot of people. Naoto seemed to indicate as much that his first try was learning the concepts than anything else. Considering most of the Purists were former Britannian military, they could easily keep up with the physicality of the position.

The Japanese contingent along with some from other countries did well, but a lot of them had not passed the technical portions. It was understandable, many of them still didn't quite get the material, but each person that had failed was allowed to apply again. Lelouch honestly hoped he would see them in future classes. They needed more good people and if it took some a little longer to understand the concepts then that was fine by him. Kururugi sat with them under Naoto's insistence, albeit he now looked like a half-mummified doll than anything else. It also garnered him a crowd of adoring fangirls – and some fanboys – that fawned at him during breakfast.

Lelouch could not help the laugh that fell from his lips at how uncomfortable the teen looked with all of the admiring attention he was receiving. He noticed Kururugi shoot him a look more than once – and ignored it. He wasn't going to go rescue the annoying teen and he did not understand why Kururugi of all people was apparently trying to silently ask _him_ to help.

Euphie was not at breakfast, but he saw her walk in late, with Cornelia and Guilford flanking her. She was clearly in better spirits, chatting enthusiastically with her older sister about something. Guilford chimed in occasionally here and there, a soft smile of amusement on his lips. He couldn't help but notice that the Knight's expression occasionally looked similar to the ones Cornelia wore around Euphie. Perhaps the rumors of taking personality traits from Drift partners was true.

Euphie suddenly made a beeline towards their table, a wide smile on her face. “Lelouch! Cornelia's going to take us to Menra Villa, do you want to come? See the family? Marrybell, Euliya and Clovis are going to be there too!” She looked so excited, practically hopping up and down like a little child instead of acting all of her near-seventeen years.

Lelouch managed to keep his expression steady, both for his own sake, but also for the fact that Euphie pretty much had just revealed their familial status to almost everyone who had overheard her. He could feel eyes on him again, and out of the corner of his own could see the Ashford Academy crowd's jaws dropping.

He swallowed before giving her a bracing smile. “Sorry...I brought tickets back home already...” He grimaced. “Please...give them my best.”

Euphie stopped her bouncing, her bright grin dimming to one of understanding. “I understand and I will...” She pursed her lips for a second, looking like she was about to say something before she finally mustered up the courage and turned to Milly.

Lelouch turned as well, wondering what his younger sister was going to do.

“Pay up!” Euphie stuck her hand out.

Lelouch had a sinking feeling that he the butt of a very long running joke. He raised an eyebrow as Milly sighed rather dramatically before pulling out her purse and forking over four bills, all in one hundred denominations.

“She won the bet that you wouldn't call her out on your lineage if it got out,” Milly explained shaking her head in exasperation.

Lelouch wanted to either sigh, strangle his sister, strangle Milly, or just laugh like a maniac. He settled for laughing, his hand covering his own eyes as Euphie bent down and kissed him on top of his head. He waved her away, not even bothering to look at her as she left.

“Thank you brother!” she called back.

He continued to shake his head, ignoring all of the whispers and shouts of surprise around him. He had to admit, Euphie's revenge was quite sweet and also well-deserved. She had read him like an open book and in true Britannian royalty, made her single decisive move. Term 2 was going to be rather interesting.


	19. Jaeger Academy - Term 2 - Part I

“ _So...maybe you should consider a Drift test with Kururugi-san?”_

Nunnally's suggestion echoed in his head for the rest of the afternoon and into the next two days. They were lying in the shade of a palm tree on the beach when he broached the subject with his sister.

“Nunnally,” he asked as his eyes absently traced a cloud that was slowly drifting in the sky. He got new sunglasses, polarized ones, the minute he got back and was testing their effectiveness on the beach. He would be bringing this pair as Term 2 started and the sunlight was slowly returning to Alaska. However, with the snow still lingering, he knew that the reflectivity would be bad for his eyes if he ever went outside.

“Yes?” She had her hands folded across her bare stomach. She was wearing a tankini, but part of it had ridden up exposing her stomach as she laid on the sand.

“What do you mean that I should consider Drifting with Kururugi?”

“I meant what I said, _nii-san_ ,” she turned her head to look at him with her sightless eyes. “You should consider Drifting with him.”

“Yes, but why?”

“Well,” Nunnally tapped her lip thoughtfully. “Based on what you've been telling me for the last few days, it sounds like you and _Kururugi-san_ have a lot in common.”

“Sneak attacks and Euphie's assessments doesn't quite count-”

“Well, I mean, they kind of do if you're looking for someone compatible, right? Someone who attacks in a similar fashion? And I mean, from what I'm hearing, both of you won't ever give up until the kaiju is dead, right?”

“I think everyone wants that...”

“Well, you said that some of the other candidates that passed didn't really go the full distance that they could, right?”

“It was an assessment.”

“Yet _Kururugi-san_ didn't tap out. He launched his sneak attack at the very end when it technically looked desperate. You on the other hand, didn't bother fighting according to the rules in your physical assessment.”

“I don't see how those can be compatible,” Lelouch frowned.

“And...uh, brother...you keep _talking_ about him,” Nunnally finished.

“And Euphie-”

“Yes, but we know you're going to test compatibility with Euphie already so she doesn't count in this,” Nunnally pointed out. “So why not test with _Kururugi-san_ too?”

Lelouch blinked, pushing himself up onto his elbows so that he was looking at his sister from above instead of sideways on the towel. “I...don't talk about him that much do I?”

“Sayoko can attest,” Nunnally shot back.

Lelouch glanced back at the maid who was sitting against the palm tree they were lying in the shadow of. She looked a little overdressed for the beach, but nonetheless had a serene smile on her face.

“ _Nunnally-sama_ is correct, _Lelouch-sama_ ,” Sayoko's gaze was frank. “Roughly every fifth word out of your mouth in the context of Jaeger Academy when not related to Dr. Lightcap, Pons, K-Science, or J-Tech was about _Kururugi-san_.”

Lelouch's frown grew deeper and he grimaced, looking away. He wasn't _that_ obsessed with Kururugi. It so happened because Euphie was involved.

Nunnally sighed. “If you're that worried over it, how about this. Who else will you test with? Rivalz?”

“No,” Lelouch replied.

“Milly?”

“You really want me to come back with dirty thoughts in my head?”

“I dunno, might get the stick out of your ass,” his sister shot back immediately and he glared at her.

“Nunnally-”

She laughed. “Sorry, had to. You walked into that one brother.”

“Hawai'i is _bad_ for you. Too much sun has fried your brains into punchy words.”

“I missed you,” she admitted and he sighed.

“I missed you too,” he replied, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “Love you.”

“Same,” she replied before she cleared her throat. “So what about Jeremiah? Villetta? Kallen, Naoto? Shirley?”

“The Purists...really? And no for the others. The person in my head has to be carefully vetted for your sake, Nunnally.”

“And why not Kururugi? He's going to know I'm alive because of Euphie right?”

“I only told her that you were alive, not where you were,” he pointed out. “We're still trying to scrub a lot of your presence here so you'll be safe, Nunnally.”

“I know, and I thank you for that,” she replied, “but why not Kururugi?”

“I don't know him. I don't know if he can be trusted-”

“So get to know him?”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Nunnally sighed, a sound for a moment reminded Lelouch of their mother. “Lelouch, you're jealous.”

“Yeah of Euphie-”

“And of Kururugi,” she cut in.

“...What?” He was baffled.

“It sounds like he's admired and has many friends. But based on what you told me, how many of those are truly his friends? How many just see him as the Prime Minister's son? As the person who cannot fail because of the weight of his nation on him? To be the leader they need? He sounds like a lonely person. Euphie was probably the first one to connect with him, offering true friendship. And you're jealous of that.”

“...So?”

“Lelouch...that sounds exactly like you right now,” his sister said quietly. “Maybe both of you are looking for someone, someone who understands the burdens they have, but won't judge them for failing those expectations.”

Lelouch could not help feel the same disquieting feeling in him when he had seen Euphie and Kururugi together that first time in the gaming room. He chewed his lower lip.

Maybe his sister was right.

* * *

One week went by too fast in Lelouch's opinion, but leaving Nunnally was not as hard as he had expected the second time around. He waved a goodbye to Sayoko and to his sister as he boarded the plane that would take him to Kodiak Island for the start of Term 2.

The candidate pool had been whittled down to seventy and their Day One orientation told everyone that it would be _harder_ to move to Term 3. Drift compatibility was something not everyone had and if they failed out Term 2, they could apply to be part of a Jaeger's support staff or the technical crews including positions like J-Tech Chief or working in LOCENT as the core crew. There were always a need for positions just as important as a Jaeger pilot in order to get the Jaeger actually working.

They also learned that pilots did not have to be physically alike in order to Drift. It was more mental compatibility than anything else. There were ways to adapt a Jaeger if there was a difference in physical capability. Lelouch had breathed an audible sigh of relief in that one – earning him a few snickers that he took with good grace and humor. He still hadn't quite forgiven Euphie for her stunt, but he at least saw the humor in it. It felt comforting to engage in this aspect of Britannian royal family tradition.

There would be compatibility tests and sync testing to weed out those who weren't compatible. Most would be cut mid-term, but the emphasis that it was not for shame was said again. Cornelia was a practical lecturer, giving speeches and answering questions second nature for her role in the Britannian military. She stated that her class had only produced five, and the previous class to theirs only produced three. She even mentioned that it was Lightcap and D'Onofrio who figured out the gold standard of Drifting through the Karloff fight and subsequent Drifts afterwards. She mentioned an E.U. pair who failed out, but then requested to join their fellow E.U. support staff and were now invaluable to the pair that piloted Cherno Alpha.

She also mentioned that while Ranger pairs were compatible, there were occasionally extenuating circumstances that may jeopardize their pairing in the future. She pointed again to the Cherno Alpha pairing – and stated that their sync rates looked normal, but when they piloted, it dipped in fluctuations that indicated they weren't syncing well, yet they functioned as a pair. Cornelia said that if everything was going well, the ones who proved to be Drift capable would be able to meet the Cherno Alpha pair in Term 3 for a more in depth discussion on Drifting and its effects.

They were then re-introduced to Dr. Lightcap who went over the basics of compatibility tests. The doctor made mention that any sibling pairs were required to do a mandatory Drift test and Lelouch glanced over to Euphie who nodded. Naoto and Kallen looked happy to do it. As for the others, she told them that they were allowed to choose whom they wanted to Drift with, and encouraged them to use the gaming room to their full advantage. DDR, an old game that had been popular in the mid-aughts was a good indicator of compatibility. A lot of the over twenty-somethings looked rather uncomfortable with dancing like they were back in high school or college while the younger crowd were baffled at the old technology. She also mentioned the Kwoon sparring as a chance to get to know each other, but would not tolerate deliberate injury. This was a time of sharing, not of competitiveness.

Cornelia stepped back up. “In Term 1, we did not tolerate any fights that were outside of the Kwoon nor any type of sexual activity between two parties while you were in consideration. We will not allow that in Term 2 while you continue to be in consideration. This is not the time to go attempting to kiss someone just to see if you're compatible.”

There was a twittering of laughter, but Lelouch narrowed his eyes. He remembered Tohdoh's words about what had happened to Cornelia. He absently reached out and found Euphie's hand and squeezed it.

“We know many of you are adults and you have urges and needs. They can be seen after the Term is done or if you are cut. But before then, I must emphasize this: You are Ranger candidates. What you have done, qualified into Term 2, is a rare feat. For those who qualify into Term 3, will be rarer. But know this, you now represent the PPDC and its member nations. You represent your nation in whatever capacity you find in and out of this Academy. We are here to defeat the kaiju. Anything you do or say that is in violation of the charter of the PPDC will be scrutinized. By the media, by your family, by your fellow PPDC members, by everyone. The world's eye is upon us. The world's hope is upon us.”

She looked straight at them. “You are the PPDC.”

* * *

Week 1, Term 2 was rather uneventful.

They continued morning calisthenics – to which Lelouch absolutely detested now – but their classes studied more about Pons science, psychology and about the brain. Each student was expected to undergo multiple brain scans and to talk to one of the Psych Analysts. That last one had been a particular surprise to many, but they had been reassured it wouldn't be a deep dive into their psyches – that came in late Term 2 and into Term 3 when partners were decided. Currently, the analysts would be helping the candidates find their Drift partner by some psychological prodding.

But mostly it was about getting to know one another.

The whittled down class had gotten together and talked mostly about what each of them had done in their week off. Euphie had the lion's share of attention, everyone asking her about her siblings that had been at Menra Villa with her. Her actions in Term 1 cemented her as an approachable royal and there were a lot of curious questions. But Euphie had enough media training to say a few things about her siblings, enough to whet their appetites, but discreet enough to keep the more private affairs secret.

Lelouch had gotten some attention, because of the class' discovery of his former name. One or two had called him the media's nickname for him 'The Exiled Prince' but they had been quickly hushed by their peers. He learned that the Britannian media had picked up that he was attending Jaeger Academy under his current name, but had not quite connected the dots. They were more focused on Euphie and Jeremiah at the moment. Those who were Purist supporters fawned all over Jeremiah and Villetta, already feting them as the new Jaeger pair.

Lelouch was also able to deflect most of the attention from him just by mentioning he really didn't do much except to lie on the sandy beaches of Hawai'i the whole week. Which earned him a lot of wistful sighs – from a majority of the female population of the seventy – and envious remarks from most of the males about doing nothing except working on his tan. He did point out to them that he was definitely not tanned because he burned into a crisp when out under the powerful sun. Euphie had sympathized, agreeing with his assessment.

For some odd reason that baffled Lelouch, that earned him another round of sympathetic sighs, again from a majority of the female population. He caught his sister laughing into her hand and knew he would have to ask her what was up with her half of the human species.

The Ashford Academy group that moved to Term 2 had all gone back to Japan to visit their families, though they did mention it was quite a whirlwind trip. Milly had been so busy with presentations at the Academy and her role as the President of the Student Council that she barely said she took a break. Shirley had been quiet, but said she saw her father and left it at that. Rivalz mentioned spending a bit of time with family but also with his beloved bike. The three of them said that Nina had not returned with them and instead went straight to Dallas for orientation before she was set to return to the Academy to work with Dr. Lightcap.

From Ohgi, Kallen, Naoto and the others, it was mostly mundane visits to family and friends. Even Kururugi merely shrugged and said he visited family. That earned a concerned frown from Euphie and Lelouch suspected there was something not being said.

They broke out into smaller groups afterwards when someone suggested trying the games. Everyone pretty much shrugged and agreed it couldn't hurt, though no one approached the DDR pads. Lelouch considered pulling out the chess set, but decided against it and instead, suggested poker.

“You sure you don't have a gambling addiction, Lelouch?” Rivalz raised an eyebrow as Lelouch shuffled two packs of fifty-two cards each with an expert flourish. The box of chips was dealt equally to the six players.

“And you don't with your betting board?”

“Speaking of-”

“Oh God,” he shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Oh! Oh! Put me at one-hundred for Naoto and Kallen, the first ones to make Ranger Ready!” Milly immediately raised her hand. She had been sitting near them watching their smaller group with Shirley. Their poker table consisted of Lelouch, Rivalz, Euphie – who had a gleam in her eye that worried Lelouch – Kururugi to Lelouch's surprise, Naoto and Kallen. Ohgi was sitting with Milly and Shirley, declining to participate.

“All right,” Rivalz ripped a sheet of paper from a nearby notebook that someone had been doodling in earlier and started to write. “Let's break this down. Actual pairings, orientation mix, sync ratios-”

“Err, that won't work because they fluctuate right?” Shirley piped up.

“Good point,” Rivalz erased what he wrote. “Orientation mix-”

“What's that?” Ohgi asked.

“Well, girl-girl pairing, boy-boy, boy-girl, or girl-boy ones. We could throw in siblings or non-siblings-”

“Sure. Put me for fifty on Jeremiah and Villetta over there,” Ohgi indicated the two who were now hovering over the chessboard. Jeremiah was playing black which defied a little bit of Lelouch's expectations. He knew the man was a proud Knightmare pilot, always leading charges in honor of someone or something.

“Hey! Margrave! You and Lieutenant Nu want to join in?” Rivalz called over to the two waving his paper in the air, surprising Lelouch. “We're betting on Ranger pairs!”

Lelouch was surprised again when he saw a thoughtful expression cross the Margrave's face. “Fifty on Kouzuki and Stadtfeld. One hundred on the Britannian royals.”

“Ex-royal,” the words tumbled out of Lelouch's mouth, annoyance coloring them. Jeremiah shrugged as if he did not care and Lelouch glared at the other man.

“You're still Marianne's son and that is royal blood there if not for Knightmare pilots,” the other man countered before turning back to his game and moving his piece to take one of Villetta's. She seemed rather disinterested in the betting pool.

“...Seriously?” Lelouch muttered mostly under his breath as he saw Euphie smiling a little sympathetically at him. He was proud of his lineage, but it grated on him that someone like Jeremiah Gottwald who was a Purist through and through, had publicly spouted their philosophies suddenly just said that Marianne was a royal in his eyes. The words were hypocritical of the man's philosophy and beliefs.

“Well...what do you have Lelouch?” Rivalz attempted to diffuse the situation.

“Cards in my hand and a game to play,” he groused as he dealt the cards out.

“...Okay...Mr. Grumpy,” he heard the blue-haired man next to him mutter.

“Hey Rivalz?” Euphie, sitting on Rivalz's other side tugged at his shirt.

“Yeah, what's up Euphie?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Euphie lean towards Rivalz's ear and whisper something. The blue-haired teen's eyes widened for a minute, staring at Euphie before his brow wrinkled.

“...You sure?”

Euphie nodded before returning back to her cards in her hand. Lelouch had a feeling she made a side bet of sorts...and more than likely at his expense again.

“Investing in that four hundred a week ago?” he asked lightly as he silently folded and looked at Kallen who shook her head, leaving her cards the way it was.

“Yup,” Euphie smiled angelically. “I think it'll be a good investment.”

Naoto checked his cards. Kururugi raised by two chips, earning frowns from both Naoto and Kallen as they hastily looked at their own cards. Euphie glanced at her cards before looking at the two chips that Kururugi had thrown in before deciding to meet the bet. It earned a frown on the Japanese teen's face and Lelouch stifled his laughter.

“All right Euphie,” he started as Rivalz contemplated his own cards. “I'll meet whatever you just asked of Rivalz.”

“Huh? Oh what- uh...I fold,” Rivalz tossed the cards to him.

“Two hundred,” Lelouch made sure he held his sister's blue eyed gaze. “On Euphie and Kururugi.”

Her eyes widened and even Kururugi stiffened next to her before a light flush appeared on his cheeks. To his amusement, Lelouch saw the same blush forming on Euphie's face not seconds later.

A rolling snicker of laughter erupted from their small group as everyone clearly noticed the pair's embarrassments. There was no denying it now that the two were definitely attracted to each other. Even Milly was softly 'awwing' while Shirley was attempting to stifle her own laughter.

“You're mean, Lelouch,” Euphie spluttered as she tried to hide under her clothes.

“Turnabout is fair play, sister,” he replied dryly.

“Did...uh, am I in the middle of a sibling war?”

“Yes,” Lelouch turned to Rivalz who looked rather faint. “Lesson One on the royal family. We don't do things by the halves.”

“No, you don't,” Milly agreed. “All of you, drama queens.”

“Schneizel is one,” Lelouch shot back, “you see his speech when they announced the formation of the PPDC?”

There were a few nods and agreements. “ _That's_ a drama queen.”

“Oh, hey, can we make weird bets? Like out of left field? Like can I say, Villetta and Ohgi or something like that?” Naoto suddenly spoke up.

“Naoto?!” Ohgi looked rather affronted.

“Sorry buddy,” Naoto did not look at all apologetic and Lelouch glanced over to see Ohgi with a rather disconcerting look on his face. He realized there was something there that Ohgi definitely did not want others finding out. Keeping that thought to himself, he turned back to see Rivalz shrug before writing something down.

“Sure...I guess. Long shots probably,” the blue-haired teen looked like he was about at wits end.

“Kallen?” Lelouch turned to the red-head next to him and she jumped a little as if startled from deep thoughts.

“What? I don't know-”

“Meeting the bet or raising?”

“Oh,” Kallen blushed before glancing down at her cards. “Okay. Meet.” She tossed her two chips in.

“Hey, can we bet on ourselves?” Naoto asked as he met the bet of two chips.

“Eh...I mean it feels like cheating. You think you and Kallen are going to make Ranger Ready first?” Rivalz asked as he considered the red-haired man's words.

“I mean, I definitely do not want whatever is going on between Princess and ex-royal over there,” Naoto pointed at the two of them with a smile on his face. “I know better than to stick my nose into Britannian royal affairs.”

“Good philosophy,” Lelouch had to agree.

“You could have warned me buddy,” Rivalz groused next to him and a crooked smile worked its way up Lelouch's lips.

“What's the fun in that,” he drawled lazily.

“You're a horrible friend,” Rivalz shot back.

“Well?” Kallen prompted.

“You wanna place a bet on yourself too Kallen?”

“Might as well,” she shrugged. “I mean, I would place one for a longshot, but yeah...”

“Oh, who?” Shirley asked.

Kallen immediately flushed red. “...You don't want to know,” the teen muttered. Lelouch glanced at her and she avoided looking at him before roughly clearing her throat and instead pinned a look at Rivalz. “Can we?”

“Eh, might as well. Sure,” the blue-haired teen threw up his hands. “What's the bet?”

“Twenty-five each,” Naoto shrugged. “We'll go easy on everyone.”

“Kururugi, any bets?”

The green-eyed teen blinked, seemingly startled from his thoughts. Lelouch made a motion towards him on whether or not he was going to raise his bet and he shook his head. “No,” he replied quietly to Rivalz's prompting.

Lelouch dealt the first three cards after burning one and sent the three of the four remaining players scrambling to look at their cards. He noticed that Kururugi was the only one who didn't look at his cards and instead was carefully studying the others around him. He was mildly impressed – Kururugi definitely was playing the people instead of the hand he was dealt. Very interesting.

“Not even Wonder Boy and Girl over there?” Rivalz asked.

“Well, I'm not going to get any investment returns,” the other teen replied. “They're going to make it first.”

Naoto grinned and even Kallen looked touched. “Kururugi, you're the best!” The older of the two siblings slapped the green-eyed teen on the shoulder, eliciting a wince from Kururugi. “Oh man...oh geez, I'm so sorry. I forgot-”

“It's fine,” Kururugi waved away Naoto's apology. “Not as bad as yesterday.”

“Uh...yeah, sorry about that.”

“ _Baka_ ,” Kallen punched her brother in the arm.

Lelouch was puzzled for second before remembering that it had only been a week since the final physical test and Kururugi had come out of it completely bruised and hurting. He was more than likely still healing – which probably accounted for his quiet state.

“Yo, that was still so cool though,” Milly sighed dreamily, “you went all out and knocked the Marshal down. Seriously. I heard from a few people that no one could touch him while he had been qualifying in his class except for maybe Instructor Nagisa.” She fluttered her blue eyes. “And then there's the whole wounded duck thing you had going on last week...”

Lelouch saw Kururugi mouthed the term 'wounded duck' with a look of confusion on his face as Milly sighed dramatically before throwing out her arms. “That's it! Rivalz! Put me in to match the bet of two hundred on Euphie and Suzaku!” She turned a sheepish smile on Lelouch. “Sorry Lulu, it's too romantic between the two of them. I would totally support you and Euphie, but...”

That earned everyone except for Euphie and Kururugi – both of whom turned tomato red this time instead of a mere blush – a roar of laughter. However, it was Shirley who spoke up into the fading laughter that sent everyone into fits of giggles, including the two blushing people in question.

“...Lulu?”

Lelouch could only glare at Milly and shake his head. She was an unabashed troublemaker, but he could appreciate her attempts at levity while cementing the fact that the Ashford would always be the vi Britannia's allies. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rivalz mouthing the nickname Milly had given him during their childhood. “You call me that and I will painfully end you with the top bunk,” he warned. He had taken the top bunk when they were in the dorms upon their return. Rivalz took the bottom bunk right below his.

“Yes, Your Highness,” Rivalz took the threat rather seriously. Lelouch didn't even bother correcting his address.


	20. Jaeger Academy - Term 2 - Part II

Week Two finished the brain scans part and the initial analysis. There was no surprise to see the two sibling pairs, Lelouch and Euphie along with Naoto and Kallen as having the most compatibility. Oddly enough, the scientists that studied the Pons the most also pointed out some interesting correlation and patterns that indicated compatibility among unlikely people too. Villetta and Ohgi were deemed compatible from a brain scan level, as was her and Jeremiah. No one was surprised by the latter, but the former surprised a lot.

However, Naoto could not collect his bet yet as they still were in the preliminary parts. Everyone, especially Lelouch and Kururugi seemed surprised to see that the two of them looked compatible from a brain scan match. Only Euphie accepted it like she had just eaten a canary. Lelouch decided it was a rather terrifying look on his half-sister's face, her resemblance to Cornelia uncanny.

Kururugi and Kallen also seemed to match, surprising both before Kallen abruptly walked away, seemingly affronted by the mere suggestion. Kururugi had no expression on his face, but only bowed slightly to Naoto in apology. The older of the two siblings didn't seem too fazed about the result. There was also no surprise to see Euphie and Kururugi though the analysts cautioned that there wasn't as high of a compatibility between Euphie and Kururugi as there was between Lelouch and Kururugi. That surprised Lelouch the most as he thought he would have won his bet.

It was no surprise to see himself and Rivalz almost incompatible despite the friendship they had. Neither was he surprised to not matching up with Shirley or Milly. He had breathed an audible sigh of relief to irritate both Milly and because he really did not want her dirty thoughts in his head. He had some compatibility with Kallen which had oddly turned her bright red and into the arms of her brother who had all but glared at him during their morning PT going into Week Three's Kwoon compatibility testing.

He ignored Naoto's dark glare and instead focused on breathing. He  _ really _ hated the morning PT, feeling both sluggish from waking up so damn early, to the fact that he was forced to exercise before his morning coffee. He was so concentrated on just breathing that he nearly ran into Kururugi's back and managed to slow down a little before he smashed into the teen.

“What-”

“I pulled something yesterday,” Kururugi said as he jogged, a lot slower than he had ever seen him.

“I thought...”

“Moved before my body was fully healed. I can hear a phantom Tohdoh yelling in my head for that stupid stunt I attempted last night in the Kwoon,” Kururugi sighed.

“Well...you can use me to keep pace then,” Lelouch offered lamely. He really didn't know what to say. He was more bewildered by the fact that the Japanese teen was talking to him – and not without his usual holier-than-thou criticisms that marked their first term together.

Kururugi smiled slightly and Lelouch realized it was the first time he had seen the Japanese teen actually smile. He looked a lot younger than his seventeen years of age. Most of the time, he had such a serious expression that belied his actual age. But with this smile, it was easy for Lelouch to see that Kururugi was just a teen like him.

“Don't sell yourself out short, Lamperouge. You're still slow.” A half second later the next words were muttered almost under his breath. “And not in the physical way too.”

Lelouch coughed and stared, shocked. Did...did Kururugi just make a joke...at his expense? His lips curled up in a sardonic smile. “Calling me slow? Man, your standards must be piss poor then with whatever stunt you pulled in the Kwoon to get you limping like that.”

“Kettle calling black,” Kururugi shot back. “Terrain advantage?”

“Oh come on. That was just a mutual freebie,” Lelouch side-eyed the teen.

“True, okay. Bad example,” Kururugi conceded. “Soresi had it coming though.”

“He did,” Lelouch was still deeply satisfied with putting Soresi in his place – permanently out of the Jaeger Academy. They jogged for a few more steps in silence before Kururugi shifted a little in his pace.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Lelouch wanted to retort that he just did, but held his tongue. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling of what piqued the teen's curiosity.

“Why do you hate the Purists?”

That was not the question Lelouch expected. He thought Kururugi would continue the line of conversation about his unprovoked attack on Soresi. But this question did not seem to fall in his expectations of the Japanese teen.

“Euphie tell you?”

“I got her thoughts on it, but she doesn't seem to loathed them like you do,” Kururugi looked at him.

“Loathe?”

“You give them death glares when you think no one is watching,” a brown eyebrow arched up over one of his green-eyes.

“Huh,” Lelouch made a noise of interest, thinking on the words said for a moment before shrugging. “I guess  _ loathe _ is accurate word. Besides the fact that my mother is a commoner in their eyes – something they really don't like it when it applies to military hierarchy – she was also the best Knightmare pilot. Bar none. And I'm not boasting.”

“I did research,” Kururugi put in before adding, “we Japanese were worried if Britannia invaded, she'd be the tip of the spear. Tohdoh was training for that eventuality in whatever scrap Knightmares we got our hands on.”

“I don't doubt it given what I've seen of the Marshal,” Lelouch replied. It was interesting to hear Kururugi's take on the Britannia's expansionist policy. He took a deep breath, regretting it slightly when his chest spasmed a little in protest and he rubbed it. He ignored the look Kururugi shot him at his movement, continuing to press forward on their jog. “There are a couple of perspectives I have that make up my...loathing of the Purist faction. Most of it from the Britannian royal family. But the way I see it, and to be frank, for the Britannian Empire's philosophy of total domination and expansion of their borders including taking over Japan, the Purists have no place among the military or anywhere else.

“Britannia needs every available body it has to ensure the expansionist policy succeeds. Each territory it conquers makes it so that its core members are lessened because they are drafted into patrol, quelling rebellions, or other duties that take it away from martial dominance. So to supplement that, they need the Areas conquered to provide troops-”

“-Cannon fodder-”

“Sure, I'm not debating the point, Kururugi. Call it what you want. But they need the bodies and the troops to serve them. Even their Knights system are drained in that capacity. So for Purists to think that whomever they deem lesser than they are, are not worthy of leading troops even if they are one hundred percent loyal to the Emperor and its goals, of the system that they have gone through, then it's a lot of bullshit. The fact that their notion that the best Knightmare pilots, the best Knights are those of pureblood – three generations mind you – is ridiculous.”

“Why not change it from within?”

“You can't change their minds,” Lelouch shook his head. “Every person has their own biases and it works against them no matter what. Those that come in under the Honorary citizens system are always biased with the knowledge that they are second-class citizens. Those that created that philosophy know that the Honorary system is a pile of steaming shit. There is no winning against such an entrenched philosophy.”

“So getting rid of the Purists may help change that?”

“Getting rid of Britannia may help,” Lelouch looked at the teen. He expected shock to be on the young man's face, but surprisingly Kururugi merely looked back at him. “Not surprised?”

“Should I be?” Kururugi countered. “You've proven that you're very single-minded when it comes to certain things.”

“Certain?”

“Well...kaiju killing.”

“That's a horrible example.”

“Not revealing you're an ex-royal for whatever reason until it was practically dragged out of you.”

“I've my own reasons,” he replied tightly. “And you didn't know until Cornelia confirmed it. I saw your surprise.”

“And always attempting to provoke your enemies into making a mistake, which then you gleefully exploit.”

Lelouch was silent for a moment as met Kururugi's simple gaze. Truth be told, he was very surprised to find that the Japanese teen had apparently been studying him as much as he had been studying Kururugi. He wondered why, but the next words that fell out of his mouth was of his own accord and he supposed it was because of the humor in Kururugi's points. He had to hand it to the teen that he had a way with the English language that was clear he had grown up at least bilingual.

“I don't cackle.”

“Gleeful,” Kururugi insisted. “Euphie pointed out your tell.”

“I have a tell?”

“You do,” Kururugi nodded. “Your lip. It twitches when you want to laugh at the misfortune or chaos you caused, but you know it'll ruin the effect.”

“And how-”

“Euphie has the same one, except she's nicer about it,” Kururugi replied. “Milly was right, you're all drama queens.”

Lelouch sniffed, but couldn't keep the crooked smile off of his lips. His assessment that Kururugi's words were deliberately chosen for a light bit of humor and combined with a lessening of his sharply critical tone was a marked changed since that snowy evening in the halls. Maybe being around Euphie's good nature was doing the teen some good or perhaps the pressures of Term 1 was lifted and they were all guaranteed a position within the PPDC that had lessened some of the stiff competitiveness in them. Even Lelouch felt a little less pressure knowing that he didn't have to prove himself physically. The week off and spending it with Nunnally helped a lot too.

They had stopped jogging and were now walking off the morning run. He crossed his arms across his chest. “All right then, how would you go about ridding the Purists?”

“By working from within, showing them that not all people they see as foreigners are painted with the same stripe. Exposing their biases. Not to teach them to look at us differently, but by our actions. And you shouldn't do that. You'll cramp up your arms which will cause the chest spasms.”

“They won't see it that way,” Lelouch gave Kururugi a side-eyed look, but uncrossed his arms as they continued to walk a cool down lap.

“Initially no, but isn't that why they're asking for civilians now in the Jaeger program?”

“Yes, but tell me this. Naoto, Ohgi and the others pegged you for someone that needed to prove that Japan is dominant in this war. Is that true?”

Kururugi's eyes flashed before he looked away. “Its too easy to blame Britannia's domination in this earth sphere.”

“More complicated that that huh?” Lelouch did not need to deduce much judging by the sudden reluctance from the teen. “Wanna humor me?”

“Why?” the defensive tone was back.

Lelouch pressed his lips together, resisting the automatic urge to retort. The moment passed and he stared plainly at the other teen. “You want to Drift with Euphie?”

“Y-Yes...”

“Not with that attitude you're not.”

Kururugi frowned. “Why are you-”

“Helping? It's not helping,” he eyed the teen. They had stopped walking and were now standing around. “I want to Drift with Euphie. I'm going to make Ranger Ready. I hope she can be my partner, but I was also told by my si-er, by someone whose counsel I value greatly, that while I can be set on one goal, there are multiple ways to that goal. For Euphie, she's got me and she's got you it seems.”

“You're surprisingly cavalier about this,” Kururugi crossed his arms across his chest and shuffled his feet, as if he couldn't decide whether to lean on it or not. Lelouch supposed it was probably whatever he pulled the night before in the Kwoon.

“I was told to get the stick out of my ass,” Lelouch's lips curled into a smile.

“In the span of a week. You sure baking in the sun didn't help it?” Kururugi pointed out and a genuine chuckle fell from Lelouch's lips.

He extended his bare arm out. “I burn.”

“And you live in Hawai'i. Where there is  _ nothing _ but sun.”

“It's got a rainy season. It's not like you see in the tourist brochures.”

“Uh huh.”

“And you don't have your equivalent of the tropical islands? What your southern part of the country-”

“Kyushu, one of our islands in the south along with Shikoku island,” Kururugi shrugged. “It's Hawai'i. You're nearly in the middle of the equator with full sun. It's hot, sticky, the sand gets everywhere and locals don't like tourists-”

Kururugi abruptly stopped as his eyes widened slightly. Out of reflex, Lelouch glanced behind himself, but didn't see any thing that could constitute an attack. He turned back to see the teen with a closed expression on his face.

“Sorry. I...uh, gottta go,” Kururugi abruptly gave him a very curt bow and left, brushing past the crowd of students that were doing final stretches on their way into the showers and to breakfast.

Lelouch was left alone to puzzle what had just occurred.

* * *

Something in their morning conversation apparently spurred Kururugi to ignore or avoid him for the rest of the day. But Lelouch was too busy to ponder the reason why as they headed into the Kwoon. He was not surprised to see the Japanese teen defer the requests to spar for the day, considering what he had been told. He was surprised by the amount of requests Kururugi did get. All of the non-Britannian contingent, men and women alike kept asking him. It seemed he made a really good impression on them with his Term 1 testing. Besides Euphie, even some of the more liberal-minded Britannians like some from Ashford asked. Lelouch could see Naoto nudging his sister to try but she kept shaking her head a firm no.

“Come on...the two of you could match up personality-wise!” Naoto wheedled his younger sister.

“No,” Kallen replied for the fifth time, clearly annoyed. “Seriously. Me and Kururugi there? Do you know how batshit insane that would be if it did happen?! We'll both be crucified by the Japanese and the Britannians! Especially our parents!”

“Well, if the Princess there-”

“She's royal! He's pretty much equivalent royal because of his dad! Hell, just his family name alone! One of the Five Houses! Naoto, we're merely Kouzukis! We don't even exist way back onto the Sengoku era!”

“But think about it,” Naoto whined, “both of you love hitting things. No kaiju would withstand your combined power! You'll smash the them before they know what hit them. I can imagine it like two dump trucks crashing-”

“Naoto!” Kallen pushed her brother away, earning some laughter from him. She huffed an irritated sigh and stalked off to sit in the stands. Lelouch covered a snort of laughter from where Kallen had blindly chosen to sit – near the recovering Kururugi – before she realized where she had picked and made a noise of frustration and moved away. Kururugi for his part had the most mild look on his face.

Cornelia and Guilford opened the spar to show an example of what it looked like to be Drift compatible. Everyone watched in hushed awe at the motions the two went through. It was like a beautiful dance. Even Lelouch was left speechless. He had never seen his older half-sister fight outside of her Knightmare. But she held her staff like one of her jousting lances on her Knightmare that she favored and seemingly dueled Guilford.

The Knight for his part, showed absolutely no hesitation in his movement. Lelouch had a hard time believing such a fact for a while now until he saw Guilford match Cornelia blow for blow without giving way. It was as if he considered himself equal to the Princess and the deference of rank meant nothing.

Euphie had been right in Term 1. With their Drifting, Cornelia  _ and _ Guilford had both changed.

They ended the spar dead even four-four and to much applause from everyone. Then Guilford oversaw the random matchups for the candidates to test with various partners. Cornelia was watching from the stands, sitting near Kururugi.

Naoto, for his part, proved to be a match with Ohgi in the Kwoon. The two laughed their way through their spar though, breaking some of the tension of the people trying to find prospective partners.

Shirley and Milly followed that up with a spar that turned into Milly tickling Shirley much to her embarrassment. Most of the men had turned away in an effort to stem either nosebleeds or to try not to get completely aroused. Lelouch merely put his face into his palm at the Student Council President's antics. He had a feeling Milly wasn't even trying at this point.

Guilford pulled the two apart with nary a hint of pink on his cheeks.

Jeremiah and Villetta, in a turn that Lelouch would have never thought he utter as a 'thank god' turned the first day of sparring back into a semi-serious spectacle by matching each other point for point. It was a piece of actual spectacular evenly-paced combat. Lelouch watched as the two went at it like bats out hell, giving no quarter to one another. However, they had full control of their bo staffs and before landing definitive hits on one another, stopped with the precision that left many envious.

“Hey...maybe we should up the ante,” Rivalz muttered next to him. “I think they're going to make it before Naoto and Kallen.”

“It's like dancing, except not as fluid as Cornelia and Guilford's,” Euphie stood next to them, resting her chin on the top of her bo.

Lelouch smirked and extended a hand out to her, his bo resting in his other one. “Well, then, Princess, may I have this dance?”

Her smile was impish but she obliged his extended hand and they entered the Kwoon circle like a dancing couple instead of one that was about to try to beat the other one semi-senseless with giant sticks.

“We dancing or we fighting here?” Rivalz said out loud to some laughter.

Lelouch ignored him as he let go of Euphie's hand and stepped back. He twirled his bo into a ready position and she did the same. Their grins were equally razor-like as they sized each other up for a few seconds.

Someone in the audience squeaked, but it was like the equivalent of a whistle. Lelouch and Euphie sprang at each other, but Lelouch was just a hair faster and struck the first blow, his bo sliding under Euphie's guard and reaching the side of her neck. She froze.

“One-zero,” Guilford sounded impressed.

They stepped back, adhering to the proper procedures for Drift compatibility testing. Setting himself again, he held his bo high, but loose behind his back. He took a half second to study Euphie before they both sprang at each other again. He let his bo slide down his hand and brought it up swinging in a wide arc, but Euphie ducked under it, a thin smile on her face before she pushed upwards from a crouch, her staff extended. He pulled back, lifting his chin at the same time to avoid her strike. Taking two steps back, he lashed out with a kick and she rolled away from it, but sprang in the middle of her roll, corkscrewing towards him. He froze as her bo point nearly hit his chest.

“One-one,” Guilford sounded proud.

He acknowledged her prowess with a deft nod of his own as they settled back into ready stances. He was readily impressed at how much Euphie had improved. Cornelia must have drilled her during the week's break. Her corkscrew move was definitely similar to the Vincent Gloucester's combat style even though it had not been fielded against a kaiju yet.

They clashed again, Lelouch having another half-second advantage and unceremoniously threw Euphie onto the mat, scoring his second point. She cried out and he flinched, but then found himself at the end of her staff, a small grin on her face.

“Two-two,” Guilford sounded bemused.

“Really...Euphie,” he couldn't believe his sister had faked her cry just to get him to drop his guard. But it was really a good tactic, and he was a little miffed that she thought of using it first.

“Can't always save me, brother,” Euphie replied lightly and Lelouch frowned.

He really did not like the sound of that. And promptly paid for the momentary distraction when he suddenly blinked and her staff was held right between his eyes.

“Two-three, Candidate Lamperouge, concentrate!”

Lelouch pressed his lips thinly together as he shook his head, trying to get rid of the invasive and sudden image of blood-splattered Euphie, somehow holding a machine gun, gunning down smaller versions of kaiju before she was felled herself. He could almost imagine Nunnally-

And he found his world turned upside down this time, slamming into the mat with Euphie's staff touching his chest lightly.

Guilford sighed. “Two-four. The two of you are done.”

He bowed awkwardly and stepped off of the mats with Euphie following him. Why did he suddenly feel the fear of not wanting his sister to be his Drift partner? He had told himself he respected her decision to join-

Or he did not as he realized. He had asked Euphie why she joined, but really did not dig at her answer. If they were to be Drift partners... Lelouch licked his lips. “Euphie,” he pulled at his collar.

She gave him a flat look, the joy and competitive smile she had earlier disappointed at how easy she had won her last two points. “All right,” she replied quietly as they set their bo staffs to the side and walked a little away from the grouping. It looked like Naoto and Kallen were finally going at it.

“Euphie-”

“You treated me with kid gloves,” she hissed quietly, turning on him.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“I told you-”

“Yeah, but why? It's not so lofty for getting out of your station or anything thing. That's the politics speaking. That I get. But why? Why now? Personally,” Lelouch asked. He needed to know he could trust her fully. If she were to become his Drift partner, he needed this.

“I'm selfish,” she replied quietly. “Cornelia let me see the roster names and we saw your name on it. Lelouch Lamperouge. We knew once the announcement of the Jaeger Academy accepted civilians for this class, you would be applying. So we weren't surprised. I know you Lelouch. You are doing this to avenge Marianne. Cornelia knows this. What she didn't know was that I went behind her back and applied. Because I saw your name. I wanted to make sure you knew you had at least someone there who could Drift with you because you would settle for nothing less.”

“So just for me? That's...” he shook his head, a little stricken, heartbroken, but also saddened.

“I thought so too, but with all that's happened. Now...?” she gestured vaguely around her, but Lelouch knew she was referring to her growing affection for Kururugi. “I thought it was for you, but maybe I also wanted revenge. Marianne wasn't my mother, but she treated me like one of her daughters from what I remembered. She didn't deserve what happened to her. The Emperor should have ordered her out of combat after...”

Lelouch felt something in him break. “You do know that we may die in this war, right? That these are nuclear-powered Jaegers. We might die from a kaiju attack or radiation sickness, or even from neural overload-”

“It hasn't been proven-”

“You're joining two brains together. Anything is bound to happen. Euphie, we may die.”

“I know...” she stared at him.

“I don't want you in my head and coming out with those thoughts,” he grimaced. “I...just want revenge. Plain and simple revenge. I don't care who I take down or if I die just so I can have my revenge against the kaiju. I know I'm probably going to die fighting them. But you...”

“Then let me be the sheath to your sword, Lelouch,” Euphie said quietly, reaching out to hold his hand.

He smiled sadly. “Kururugi's more apt for that role of Knight, my Princess.” It was true by the way the two interacted with each other.

“He may...but I don't think he would be my Knight even if I asked,” she replied.

He sighed, running a hand through his sweaty hair, slicking it back slightly. “I'm sorry Euphie. I didn't mean to throw the fight, but I had flashes of Nunnally. Of how she'd be alone and I wanted someone there for her if I...die. You-”

“I'll always be there for her, no matter what happens Lelouch,” Euphie nodded solemnly. “Thank you, at least for trusting me with her.”

He impulsively reached out and hugged her tightly. He didn't care who saw them. “I'm so sorry...”

* * *

Suzaku Kururugi was doing much better – and running laps around everyone during morning PT again – by the end of the week. He was still avoiding Lelouch, but it was interesting to see the teen join in some of the light ribbing that had taken the smaller class by storm. The weight of Term 1 certainly seemed to have transformed the class' seriousness into having a little more fun while they sought out potential partners. It certainly broke up the monotony of tests and nervousness of compatibility.

Lelouch declined every single request to spar after the incident with Euphie. He watched the others as they took their turns, and even played a few rounds of the various games in the gaming room to test compatibility. But sparring for him was off the table.

Jeremiah Gottwald had approached him one evening, hesitant, but asking to play chess. He obliged the former leader of the Purists and learned that Gottwald had been a young soldier fresh out of military school and assigned as part of Marianne's household guard. The man apologized profusely for his lack of action on his part when the assassin attacked, citing that he had been ordered to leave the premises that fateful night.

Lelouch took the information for what it was, but didn't forgive the Margrave. Anger still burned furiously in him at what had happened at Aires Villa, but it was secondary considering Trespasser's attack. Instead, he merely nodded, checkmated the man in their game of chess and left Gottwald sitting at the board alone. The dismissal was clear to everyone who knew of Britannia and their honor-bound system.

He found himself sitting in the alcove once more, the halls still cold, but not as bone-chillingly numb as Term 1. Mid-April was a balmy thirty-five degrees Fahrenheit average. There was still occasional snow, but the squall systems and weather patterns for the year made it so that it was more sleeting rain than anything else. A bunch of signs and warnings had been issued to the candidates who dared venture outside that ice was a big concern.

“Figured you'd be here,” Kururugi's voice was quiet, but Lelouch turned to see him walk from the dark halls.

“Euphie sent you?” he asked.

“No,” the green-eyed teen replied. “Can I sit?”

“Sure,” Lelouch moved a little, tucking his legs underneath him as Kururugi sat on the opposite side of the alcove. He studied the other teen for a minute before sighing. “Figured it was time you come talk to me.”

“Huh?”

“Big brother and all, though Cornelia's going to have to be the one you'll have to get final approval from,” Lelouch looked outside, watching the nearby waves crashing onto the shore. The days were getting longer too, sunlight lasting around twelve hours. It was in twilight skies now, streaks of purple, pink and orange clouds lighting up the last rays of the sun.

“I don't-”

“If you're gonna ask me to have permission to sleep with Euphie after you're Drift compatible, you don't have it,” Lelouch replied bluntly. “She's my sister. You're going to either have to marry her – which probably won't be allowed because she's a Princess and you're a commoner, foreigner too – or just make sure you find an outlet for whatever other urges you have and keep her honor intact.”

“Uh...that's not what I had come to talk about but-”

“I saw your spar today with her,” Lelouch turned back to look at Kururugi and smiled sardonically. “Three-two. Could have been four-two if not for Cornelia.”

Kururugi smiled sheepishly. “...Yeah...she doesn't like me.”

“Cornelia doesn't like anyone getting close to Euphie. She's her baby full-blooded sister.”

“She didn't seem to mind the two of you.”

“We're related so she's apparently okay with us possibly becoming Drift partners.”

“Four-two isn't good though-”

“That's just sparring. The real test is next week when sync test. They've been warning us-”

“-about how it's going to feel weird and all sorts of other things. The Psych Analysts went over it too. We're supposed to get a lecture with Dr. Lightcap Monday morning.”

“That's not going to be fun,” Lelouch agreed. Almost every single person left in their class of seventy had decided by mutual silent agreement that Dr. Lightcap, while a nice person, was never a bearer of good news during this term. Every time she told me more and more about the Drift, about the testing, about generally everything in Term 2, it left everyone with worried looks, soured stomachs and pained awkward looks at one another. Jaeger Academy was quickly losing its shine as they all got deeper and deeper into  _ what _ made people compatible as well as  _ how _ they were compatible.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Kururugi spoke up. “You really think-”

“If you're asking if I'm jealous – yes, I'm jealous. But I know myself and I know my faults. Anything is an advantage in this war we're fighting. In this case, the two of you like each other. I  _ want _ Euphie to be my partner, but ultimately it's not up to me who she partners with. It has to be by mutual agreement and Euphie hasn't given her definitive.”

“But you want to kill kaiju...”

“Yes,” he looked up at Kururugi, meeting his eyes. “By any means necessary. I'll make Ranger Ready by any means necessary. Whether its this class or another, I'll make it.”

Kururugi barked a small laugh.

“What?”

“It never occurred to me that if we don't make this cut, we can technically try again with another class. The instructors, even Tohdoh and Cornelia, make it seem that passing Term 1 means you don't have to go at it again. Not passing Term 2 seems to imply we can go work in other branches of the PPDC. Never did they say we can't apply for another class and try with others in it.”

Lelouch nodded. “And that's where most people can't see it. Instructor Nagisa had it right. We voluntarily leave, we've failed. But we leave at the grace of the PPDC – we can do it again and again for however long we want. There's no hard fast rule that we can't try again for Ranger Ready in another class. They just make it seem like that's the way it has to be.”

“Wait for the perfect opportunity-”

“-And strike,” Lelouch finished for him.

There was an oddly comfortable silence between them for a few minutes. Kururugi sighed, breaking it and hunched forward, letting his arms hang off of his bent knees. His head was canted forward, but he looked up at Lelouch.

“I came to apologize,” the other teen started quietly. “For...what happened three years ago while I was visiting Hawai'i.”

Lelouch made no reaction other than to frown. He knew  _ exactly _ what Kururugi was talking about but restrained himself.

“My father sent me, Minister Kirihara and my cousin Kaguya Sumeragi as representatives to the installation and opening of the K-Watch substation on Oahu. I had never met a royal Britannian until that day. Third Prince Clovis la Britannia was...” Kururugi trailed.

“An ass,” Lelouch supplemented and the teen blinked at him. He shrugged. “Clovis is an ass, trust me.” His older brother Clovis, while a good companion growing up, was really stuck up and always spouting things that he clearly couldn't promise or had no information about in an effort to compete against Schneizel and Lelouch's insider information. It was a healthy competitive game between the three of them, with Schneizel's spies trumping the temporary ones Lelouch always used – servants – and Clovis' non existent ones – his mother or making up stories.

“His bodyguard, Knights, um, group with him, even worse. They were polite, but it was...not good. And I left because I couldn't stand them. Missed dinner too, had to grab a sandwich from a vendor. I...did leave a chunk on the beach when I went wandering off before returning to try to salvage it, but then...saw you,” Kururugi looked away now, finding it hard to speak. “It was like all of my rage just spilled out and I took it out on you... When you were just literally doing nothing except relaxing.” He sighed heavily. “I'm sorry, Lamperouge. For doing that to you...”

Lelouch stared at the teen for a long moment. The anger and annoyance he felt when he had made the connection between Kururugi before him and that of the bratty younger teen that had hurt him wasn't there anymore. Instead, it was just...nothing. He licked his lips. “It's Lelouch,” he said.

“What?”

“Lelouch. You calling me Lamperouge, sorry, your English isn't just that good around those groupings of letters... It sounds...mangled if I'm being honest. I can't tell the Ls from the Rs.”

“Suzaku then,” he extended a tentative hand and Lelouch met it with a firm shake. “And speaking of mangling names, your Japanese isn't as perfect as you may think around my last name. It's  _ Kururugi.” _

“ Kururu _ - _ ”

“You're accenting the wrong part. Soft Rs if you want to call it. Though we don't have Rs in our vocabulary. You make hard Rs because of your English.”

“Critic.”

Suzaku snorted. Lelouch laughed a little before he dipped his own head. “I have to apologize too.”

“Why?”

“My comment on cultural appropriation. You're right. No matter how you look at it, ultimately, I don't have the right to say whether or not it's cultural appropriation. It is up to those who grew up in it to decide whether its cultural appropriation. One person could see it that way while another of their culture could see it differently. You saw my attempts and I dismissed them as if I knew what was better.”

Suzaku's lips twitched in a faint smile. “I accept your apology.”

“And I do for yours. Though...my arm doesn't accept it from way back when.”

“Neither does your chest,” Suzaku pointed out.

“Huh?”

“I noticed your posture whenever you sit, think, run, or generally do anything. Even now, it's unconscious so I'm not sure if it can be fixed. But you hunch in towards yourself a lot. It's what's causing your chest spasms when you work out in the morning while running.”

Lelouch rolled his shoulders back. It felt odd. The last time he did that was when he was in front of the Emperor and disinheriting himself. He had stood tall, proud, ramrod straight because he knew who he was. Had he really been closing in on himself, no more the proud son of Marianne the Flash since that day? Defensively hiding and protecting himself because of hurts and slights?

“Feel better?” Suzaku asked as he sat back himself.

“A little...” Lelouch shook out his right arm. “It feels...a little bit tingly.”

“Blood circulation,” Suzaku confirmed.

“But why don't I feel it while stretching?”

“Because your body is used to your posture and has compensated for it.”

Lelouch made a noise of agreement as he continued to lightly shake out his right arm. The companionable silence fell between the two of them again and Lelouch saw Suzaku looking out towards the twilight skies. He seemed at ease now that he had apologized. And Lelouch knew what he should do.

“You up for a round in the Kwoon?” he asked, startling the teen.

“...What?”

“I was asked by a trusted person to test something out. So you up for a round of sparring?”

Suzaku looked at him for a long moment before shrugging. “All right. Though I'm not going to let you beat me up in retaliation for three years ago.”

“Sure, whatever,” Lelouch waved his concern away as they both hopped off of the alcove and made their way towards the Kwoon.

It was darkened as everyone was at dinner, but a few of the automatic lights came on as the sensors registered their presence. Lelouch swing his arms a few times to quickly warm himself up, still feeling limber from the afternoon sessions even though he declined to participate in any actual spars. He pulled off his jacket and stripped himself to his sleeveless tee-shirt and pants, setting them to the side.

Suzaku did the same before walking over to where the weapons were stored and picked out to bo staffs, tossing one to him. Lelouch caught it easily and twirled it, feeling its familiar weight comforting.

“If you think I'm going to dial down my moves just because we're now apparently friends...” Suzaku warned as walked past each other to take their respective places to start.

“Okay,” Lelouch laughed, the same razor-edged smile with Euphie now directed towards Suzaku. He twirled his bo and set himself in a wide stance, bo held in a reverse grip on his right hand. “Then neither will I.”

Suzaku returned the smile with the one Lelouch recognized when he faced Tohdoh. He twirled his bo once, before holding it vertically in a kenjutsu-like stance, close to his body for prime striking opportunity. He slid forward two steps and Lelouch watched him carefully-

Suzaku's opening move was so fast that Lelouch suddenly found himself staring at the shaft on the second blink of his eyes. Suzaku had come out of his opening stance into a simple first stance of a kenjutsu kata. “One-zero,” Suzaku's green-eyes glittered.

Lelouch smiled tightly and swung his bo without a second thought, knocking the attack aside and mirrored Suzaku's stance with one of his own. “One-one” he said. Suzaku nodded curtly, impressed.

By mutual silent agreement, they both stepped back into ready stances. Each of them knew that the other would not hesitate to take advantage and ignore of that particular etiquette rule in the Kwoon – having both done it themselves. There was a moment and then Lelouch saw the minute drop in Suzaku's form and sprung forward himself. He swung his bo up, meeting it with a clash and then lashed out to the side, swinging it like a halberd, only to be blocked twice before Suzaku lashed out with a swift high-kick. Lelouch reeled back, but was just a hair too slow, Suzaku's bo completing its turn and nearly touched his exposed left hip.

“Two-one,” the Japanese teen smirked.

Lelouch did not even bother acknowledging it as he immediately lunged forward, his bo extended with both hands on it like a spear and sent it upwards, nearly touching Suzaku's chin. The teen barely raised his chin out of they way and Lelouch allowed the same smirk to appear on his face.

“Two-two,” he countered.

And in that moment, the two of them knew they wouldn't be giving each other any quarter as they both rolled into their next attacks, not bothering with the etiquette of resetting. Suzaku scored the first of the third points with a spinning kick, but Lelouch outsmarted him by rolling into his attempt at a quick fourth point and scored his third with an elbow nearly crushing his instep.

That had earned him a tumble down into the mats, legs tangled before he kicked high with both legs, only to find them gripped in Suzaku's elbows and their staffs pointed straight at each other's faces.

Silence reigned in the Kwoon save for their harsh breaths.

Lelouch found himself looking up at Suzaku who was on his knees the rest of his limbs tangled into Lelouch's legs in his last-ditch attempt for a fourth point.

Four-four even.

They were Drift compatible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lelouch and Suzaku's test spar - totally riffing Mako Mori vs Raleigh Beckett (music included) except with no audience. ^_^ One of my favorite scenes in the PR movie.


	21. Jaeger Academy - Term 2 - Part III

Saturday and Sunday were spent in mutual silence and mostly away from one another, though both of them participated in the weekend poker games. Suzaku was a constant fixture next to Euphie now, even when they sat together in their grouping of six. Lelouch was the dealer for the most part, many in the group admiring his abilities to easily shuffle two fifty-two card decks with the barest of ease. Rivalz had muttered it was such a cool parlor trick and would get him all the girls.

By silent mutual agreement, Lelouch and Suzaku had not spoken a single word about what had happened in the Kwoon with anyone. It weighed in their heads that their particular spar was more than likely not a fluke. Not with the way they had been seeing others sparring for Drift compatibility.

Lelouch was not disturbed by the possibility. He found it fascinating that he and Suzaku had almost nothing in common except for Euphie yet they had apparently paired and anticipated each other so well. He knew he was working with limited knowledge, but technically they were so far apart in terms of the way they had been brought up, family and all.

He had looked up Suzaku's public profile on the PPDC and some supplemental articles from various news sites late Friday evening after they had parted the Kwoon. As far as he knew Suzaku was an only child, his father the Prime Minister of Japan and part of the Five Houses which Lelouch supposed was equivalent of family lines that could trace back to the Sengoku-era based on what Kallen had said. There was no nobility, but it seemed that the Kururugis commanded a lot of respect and were distinctly allied with the Sumeragi household through Suzaku's mother. Hokuto Sumeragi had died when Suzaku was very young, though no cause of death was given. There was a Sumeragi uncle mentioned, but he disappeared after Suzaku's mother's death. The only Sumeragi occasionally mentioned in relation to the Kururugi family was the young 14 th Head of the family, Kaguya Sumeragi – Suzaku's cousin.

All in all, it seemed Suzaku had a normal, or somewhat normal childhood – though Lelouch had to admit his knowledge about Japanese upbringing was severely limited. He knew he could ask Suzaku, but that was also the problem. He wanted to figure out  _ how _ he and this random teen he had only met once prior to their enrollment could be so compatible to the point where they had scored their last points in a mutual last-ditch attack on  _ each other _ .

“Dealer...hey, Dealer!” Rivalz's sharp elbow into his ribs startled Lelouch from his thoughts and he looked at his friend who lifted his hands a little.

“Oh, sorry.” He did a cursory check that everyone was all set before laying out the fourth card.

“Eeesh, Lelouch, you've really been spacing the last two days,” Rivalz said as he peeked at his own cards and studied the ones already laid out. He raised the pot by throwing in three chips, sending Kallen and Euphie into a mad scramble. Naoto was peering over his sister's shoulder, watching her cards. He had been cleaned out the last hand by Euphie.

“Eh, I mean, we're all gonna go get sync tested tomorrow. Who wouldn't be worried. I mean, it's basically we pass sync testing, yay, we move on. We don't we get cut and I don't know about the rest of you, but that's going to hurt if it happens to me,” Naoto shrugged.

“It won't,” Kallen spoke up.

Euphie's lips were pursed as she studied her cards one more time before glancing at the ones laid out. She met the bet with three chips of her own. Lelouch frowned a little. Euphie was playing a little more conservatively than she had been the last few matches. Something was bothering her.

“Ouch, Princess royal, you're killing me here.”

“With kindness,” Euphie said before Rivalz mimed being shot. Even the others around them made small noises of protest at her zinger.

“All right, who here had the bet that they didn't know Euphie could throw insults like this so well? Huh?” One of the Japanese sitting next to Ohgi crowed. The crowd around them laughed and Euphie only shot them all an angelic look which prompted more laughter.

“I wonder if it's too late to up my bet on the Royals...because PPDC higher ups, watch out if those two become Drift compatible. I can just see it now, demerits and zingers all the way,” Milly mused out loud.

“Milly, you're incorrigible,” Shirley looked like she wanted to hit the girl but settled for a glare.

“I don't know whether I should be thankful that you say I'm going to get demerits or that I'm going to insult my way into the cockpit of a Jaeger,” Lelouch stared at the blonde.

“Well, if given the choice here, Suzaku and Euphie would be the perfect Knight and Lady pairing which would set hearts aflutter with the romantic notion. Plus the perfect photo op too! You, Lelouch, and Euphie would be the first Britannian royal-”

“Ex-royal,” it was getting old in his opinion.

“-Royal pairing,” Milly clearly ignored him and continued as if he had not spoken, “and be a nationalistic powerhouse. Probably also one that would stealth insult anyone and everyone because you can.” She laughed lightly, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. “Ah...maybe I should go be the PPDC spokesperson if Week 4 doesn't pan out. I can give the Ranger pairs team nicknames-”

“Gage twins already have a nickname,” Ohgi pointed out. “Knights of Two.”

“Cornelia would probably murder you in your sleep if you gave her and Guilford a nickname,” Lelouch felt he had to point that part out at least, if not for a sliver of the friendship he had with Milly.

“Witch and Warlock of Britannia. Team Merlin if you want to riff on the Knights of the Round thing,” Suzaku suddenly spoke up, startling everyone.

“Oooo...” Shirley, Milly and Rivalz nodded in appreciation and as did many others.

“I like it,” Euphie said.

“Oh, also, raise,” Suzaku's smile was incredibly cat-like and he met Lelouch's gaze as he set four chips down. They had been playing this hand without looking at their cards after it had been dealt. It was like an unspoken challenge to see which one would chicken out and look back down at their hand or fold. Lelouch merely raised an eyebrow in return before looking at Kallen who was clearly waffling between folding or meeting the raised bet.

She made a noise of frustration before tossing her cards at Lelouch. “Fold,” she muttered with a sigh. Naoto patted her on the back.

Lelouch shrugged and met the bet with four chips of his own without missing a beat.

“Seriously?” he heard Kallen murmur next to him.

“What?” he asked.

“Just like that?”

“And?”

“...Okay...” Kallen's blue eyes narrowed as she whipped her head back and forth between him and Suzaku. However, she stayed silent, keeping her thoughts to herself.

“Oh man...” Rivalz meanwhile was now in the same predicament as Kallen. He glanced down at his meager pot and finally sighed. “I give up,” he handed Lelouch his cards. “This is way too hot for me right now.”

“You could have gone all in,” Lelouch pointed out as he tucked Rivalz's cards under the deck.

“I'd like my dignity,” his friend shot back. “And, I've pretty much lost against you each time you  _ don't _ fold.”

Lelouch shook his head. “Because you're not playing the people around you. You have to play the person, not the cards.”

“Yeah, well, you also have some serious luck buddy,” Rivalz sat back, stretching his arms out and yawned.

“Fold,” Euphie declared cheerfully.

Everyone stared at her and she stared back, her expression utterly guileless. “What?” However, Lelouch was not fooled by it. His suspicion of the secretive bet she had placed with Rivalz was growing stronger. It was definitely at his expense – he flicked a look at Suzaku before turning back to Euphie – more than likely at Suzaku's expense too. He had a slight suspicion on what she had bet on.

He took Euphie's cards back with a sharp look at her before settling his gaze on Suzaku who had given Euphie a side-eye of all things. He was glad that he was  _ not  _ the only one of her potential Drift partners to suspect she was orchestrating something behind them.

“Well?” He prompted Suzaku.

“Check,” Suzaku replied.

Lelouch smirked. “Raise, all in,” he declared, pushing his whole pile of chips into the middle of the table.

“Yo...what...?” Ohgi's faint echo was lost among the gasps.

Suzaku merely nodded slowly, as if it was nothing to sneeze at and mirrored his movement by selecting the amount of chips he had from his pile to match his own. The Japanese teen technically had more chips and won more hands because of the few times Lelouch had folded. There were about three chips left in Suzaku's pile once he finished counting the exact amount.

An odd hush had fallen over both the table and the gaming room. Those that had little interest in the poker game were now drawn towards apparently what had suddenly turned into a high-stakes game.

The last card was dealt. And the two remaining hands presented. The hush that had fallen in the crowd exploded into shouts and screams.

Both Lelouch and Suzaku had matching smiles of triumph.

* * *

“The biggest lesson of this week. Honesty,” Dr. Caitlin Lightcap adjusted her glasses as she looked at the assembled class of seventy students for Term 2, Class of 2016-A. “Honesty with yourself and honesty with those you try to sync test with.” She paused for a second to let them take her words in.

“Honesty with yourself,” she looked at the candidates, “means, what you can tolerate when you do the sync tests. I won't lie, its going to feel weird. You're going to see flashes of someone else's memories, you're going to  _ feel _ the emotions and you may feel foreign sensations. Recoiling from those will be natural. It is all part of the sync testing. Don't feel you have a need to prove you can handle it if you honestly feel you can't. This is normal.

“This is part of your job to be truthful with yourself. To be honest with the analysts. We won't judge. And this is the second part that comes in. Be honest with your chosen partners for this test. It is all right to realize, you may not be compatible with the person you have as your first pick. It is natural to be disappoint and move on. If you sync well with your first pick, all the more power to you. But I also highly encourage you to test with others.”

She looked at them, a small smile on her face. Beside her, Nina looked small in the labcoat she wore, but her eyes were bright behind her glasses.

“Questions?”

Someone in the back raised their hand as Dr. Lightcap pointed and nodded.

“Ma'am, is there a ratio we have to hit with our partners?”

“Eighty percent is the start of a promising match. But its very rare to hit that on the first try. The Gage twins are the only ones so far and we think it's because they're twins. Even siblings have problems. And remember, sync tests with your chosen partner don't have to be one and done. You can raise the sync ratio up on subsequent tries.”

“How many do we get?”

“It's not a question of how many, but what your comfort level is after each test,” Lightcap shook her head. “Most people may hit a plateau after several tries, which we've noted on some of the candidates.”

“Is it going to feel like actual Drifting?”

“No,” the blonde-haired woman smiled slightly and adjusted her glasses again, pushing it up her nose before they slid down out of habit as she wrinkled her brow. “You'll get faint sensations, maybe a stray thought if it's strong enough. It'll feel like an itch you can't quite scratch, but then its over.”

By now everyone in the class had expressions that were clearly stating their reservations about the whole thing. Even Lelouch felt a little queasy at the prospect. But Lightcap merely looked at them, a comforting smile on her face. “It's a lot to take in, I know. Believe me. Even the big, brawny military ones looked like you do now.”

“I don't think that's helping,” Rivalz said faintly into the dead silence. A nervous twitter of laughter rolled through them.

Lightcap, to her credit, chuckled and nodded in agreement. “Talk to the Psych Analysts afterwards. It helps. And remember, this is  _ not _ a failure if you don't sync well. A lot of you will be cut by the end of this week, but we need your expertise and your support in a whole host of other capacities. It takes hundreds to get a single Jaeger ready for combat; from the Drifting technology, to the science behind building a Jaeger, kaiju analysis, to the Shatterdome maintenance, even to LOCENT. All of you will get your chance to fight in this war. It may not be in the capacity you thought when you entered this Academy, but you will get your chance.”

With that, she left with Nina trailing behind.

The Class of 2016-A was left in the Kwoon to sort themselves out before the first pair went to the Pons room for their assigned time of sync testing. Lelouch found himself gravitating towards Euphie, sitting next to her on the stands with Suzaku sandwiching her other side. A few others had picked up bo staffs and were doing some light spars or working out. Some were huddled in groups, talking with one another.

Lelouch was pensive, hunched forward while resting his elbows on his knees, his hands laced together and his chin resting on his thumbs. Euphie was sitting rather haphazardly, her arms out on either side, but back, stretching them against the stand. She was staring at those who were fighting in the rings of the Kwoon. Suzaku was hunched forward, but his arms were resting and hanging off of his thighs. His hands made small twitching movements, as if they wanted to come together, but was actively resisting it.

Lelouch suddenly did not know what compelled him to speak, but he did, his voice low, almost inaudible. “Nunnally was trapped under Mother's Knightmare...” he said quietly. “The debris cut into her legs. I saw...the kaiju blood dripping from the broken claw down to her. But she was alive. We...didn't know anything back then, but, I think now, her injuries from the debris mixed with the blood...”

“...Kaiju blue...” Suzaku murmured.

“Did you...?” Euphie started, but trailed off.

“Yeah. Milly's family assigned one of their most trusted retainers to help with Nunnally. She was able to get me information and get a doctor to be discreet. Nunnally's doing better, but...” He couldn't finish as he roughly scrubbed his face and sighed, staring out at the fighters.

They sat in silence, watching as the first few pairs return. Many looked like they either were completely embarrassed and avoided their potential partners or had a haunted look. Each pair that returned soured Lelouch's stomach more and more until his and Euphie's watch beeped, indicating that it was time for them to test. He got up, hearing some of his joints pop as he stretched.

“Good luck,” Suzaku called to them quietly and he turned and nodded solemnly at his friend. Neither one had not registered themselves for a sync test, partially hoping that either one of them could pair with Euphie. The possibility of the two of them being Drift compatible... Lelouch honestly did not know why he didn't schedule one with Suzaku. Nor did he ask Suzaku why he didn't schedule one with him.

He and Euphie arrived at the Pons room in time to see Villetta and Jeremiah come out, both looking a little queasy and shocked. Jeremiah was shaking his head as if to get rid of something in it while Villetta was absently scratching at her left wrist, the same one that Jeremiah tended to scratch whenever he was in deep thought. She caught herself and shook her head as they walked past them and headed back to the Kwoon to join the others.

“Lelouch, Euphie,” Dr. Lightcap greeted them with a kind smile. She gestured for them to where Nina was standing with two headset-like things in two chairs. It was hooked up to several machines and the doctor stood behind it. To Lelouch's consternation, there were shadows in the frosted windows behind Dr. Lightcap and he realized it was more than likely Cornelia and Guilford watching the assessment.

“H-Hi...” Nina greeted them with a stutter as they took their seats and she set them up. He saw that the green-haired girl was still cautious and hesitant around Euphie, gently putting the pons on her head while checking to make sure it was secure. Euphie for her part, took it in good grace at Nina's clear embarrassment at being so close to her idol.

But when she was done, she stepped back and nodded to Dr. Lightcap.

“All right, testing in three, two, one-”

Lelouch's world wasn't gone per se, but somehow became more murky. He could feel himself spreading out-

And suddenly wanted to suck himself right back in.  _ What the- _ the voice sounded strange. Had it been him or Euphie? He couldn't tell-

_Oh God-_

The shriek made him-made her, them, wince. Before he felt the sensation of crawling up his arm- _ whoa! _ It was definitely a touch on his/her shoulder- Body memory-  _ Uh-what- _

“Uh-”

“Focus, Euphie, focus...” a voice echoed in their heads.

“Focus?” he tried to say the words, but they somehow came out strangled-

“Lelouch, now you too-there...” Something loud clattered and he-they-looked- He felt like he was spread too thin-”

“Breathe, Lelouch, breathe...there we go. All right, raise your left hand.”

They- no he-she tried to-

“Okay, we got it, shutting it down now...”

Lelouch suddenly could see again as the world of the Pons room resolved itself. He felt a little weak, sickly, but most of all, he could breathe. He gulped down a deep breath and let it out, his hands gripping the side of the chair like his life depended on it.

“You're okay, Lelouch, you're okay.” A firm hand ran down his back and he blearily looked up to see that it was  _ Cornelia _ of all people who was attempting to calm him down. He nodded numbly as he tried to take deeper breaths. Good God that was hard...it felt like- He steadied his breaths some more, Cornelia lifting her hand up. He looked up to see that Guilford was making the same motion to Euphie who looked as ill as he did. Why did Euphie's older sister comfort  _ him _ instead of her was beyond him, but he was a little grateful for her support at the moment.

“Well?” Cornelia asked and both Lelouch and Euphie turned as one to see the doctor with a slight frown on her face. He knew instantly that it was not good.

“It's only the first round, but, forty-five percent.”

They were well below the threshold for a promising Drift compatibility.

“It's the first around on the first day, candidates,” the doctor rounded the machine and looked at them sympathetically. “You'll have plenty of time this week to improve. Talk with one another, be honest with yourselves. And don't forget, there are others you can register and test with. Don't feel so bad-”

“It's fine,” Lelouch abruptly stood up. Before anyone could say anything else, he stalked out, nearly bowling over Naoto and Kallen who were waiting just outside. He immediately turned and walked blindly down the hall.

“Lelouch!” he ignored Euphie's cry, ripping his hand out of hers as he walked quickly down the halls. “Lelouch!” she called again before her grip became like iron on his hand and he stopped, turning back around to stare at her. Her cornflower blue eyes were icy now, her temper flaring against his own and she was squeezing his hand so hard that it was starting to hurt.

“What?” he returned her glare with one of his own.

“It's only the first try-”

“It's forty-five percent! That's nearly twice the percentage below the minimal threshold! How the fuck are we supposed to raise that up?! The odds-”

“I don't care about the odds!” Euphie screamed. “Why are you giving up after one try?!”

“I'm not giving-”

“You are! I know you Lelouch vi Britannia! You don't do anything by half measures! You are my sweet, deadly, brilliant brother and you  _ do not give up _ this easily! So why are you?!”

“Forty-”

The stinging slap to his cheek shut him up and he absently cupped it while staring wide-eyed at Euphie. Tears were forming in her eyes now as her chest heaved with her attempts to not sob.

“You've faced worse odds than this, Lelouch!” she hissed. “Why are you so afraid?! You have  _ nothing  _ to lose if you just try-”

“Try?” he rubbed his cheek, wondering if it was going to leave a welt of sorts. “How the hell are you supposed to try against this?!” He gestured wildly towards the direction of the Pons room. “It's all about compatibility! It's all about something that not even their science can figure out! There's no hard set rules, nothing to follow, nothing to figure out where to start!”

A single tear fell down Euphie's face. “Why don't you start by talking with someone? With me, with Suzaku? Just...someone?! To trust them-”

“I  _ can't _ ,” he shook his head. “I...”

“They keep telling us that Drift compatibility is about trust. But if you don't trust yourself, how can you trust others?”

“I trust myself-”

“Lelouch, you don't. You're so afraid and so angry at the kaiju. You don't trust anyone else to get the job done. You think you know the best and you don't want anyone else to share that with.” She shook her head. “You love me, but you don't trust me. You say you want to entrust me with Nunnally, but you never told me where or how to find her...”

Her watch beeped again. She glanced down at it, her mouth forming into a frown before she looked back up at him.

“I...”

“Go,” he looked away, still stunned by her words.

“We need to try again, Lelouch, all right? Please...” she whispered. He didn't answer her. He heard her turn and start to walk away before an impulse overtook him.

“Euphie,” he called out and she turned around. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she was hastily wiping at them. “Tell him. About this. About the percentage. Otherwise, you'll tank your chances...”

She covered another sob behind her hand before running back and crushing him in a hug he never knew she was capable of. “I will,” her voice was muffled against his clothes, but she released him just as quickly and headed back down the hall to the Pons room.

Lelouch watched her go.

* * *

He and Euphie plateaued at sixty-two percent by mid-week. It was even more devastating when she and Suzaku showed and early promise of fifty-seven percent, but then hit their own plateau at seventy-percent for three days straight.

Thursday was a very bad day for Euphie as she sat miserably in the mess hall with a biggest, sweetest milkshake the cooks could come up with. The three of them wished it was hard alcohol, but it had been banned from the Academy grounds on the premise of the possibility of starting fights.

There were smaller bottles smuggled in from the nearby town on Kodiak Island, but almost all of it was consumed by Tuesday by pretty much the whole class as they tried to adjust to the weirdness of sync testing.

“This thing tastes liked diabetes,” Euphie muttered as she pushed away the syrupy sweet drink. However, she leaned over and took another mouthful of the drink, hiccuping as she swallowed it too fast.

Lelouch had his head resting on his arms on the table, too mentally worn out to really sit up. Suzaku was leaning back against the booth they sat in, head tilted up high. His hands were folded in front of him and he looked like he could be sleeping with the steady rise and fall of his chest, but his eyes were open to mere slits. They made for a miserable trio, knowing that their changes of advancing to Term 3 were slipping fast.

But Euphie was probably the most affected – having failed twice with two different potential partners. No matter how one looked at it, that had to sting her pride as both a Britannian and as a royal. It probably hurt even more that it had been with Lelouch, her own half-brother and a childhood playmate.

Precise footsteps clacking on the tiles of the mostly empty mess hall made the three blearily look up – or in Suzaku's case, crack his eyes open fully – to see Cornelia walking towards them. Her expression was quite pinched and she looked rather reluctant.

Lelouch could see three envelopes in her hands and swallowed heavily, but didn't lift his head up.  _ The envelopes of doom _ , his mind supplemented. Thursday was the decisive cut day.

Tomorrow, those who passed the sync tests would get a brief overview of what else to expect for the rest of the term along with additional curriculum. Those that didn't pass could start signing up for the various programs to complete their Term 2 for the rest of the four weeks and apply into their Term 3 programs.

Guilford shadowed her, but even he looked like he rather be elsewhere.

“General li Britannia,” Euphie greeted Cornelia by her formal rank and title for the three of them. “Knight Guilford...”

“What are you-” Cornelia was looking at the sickly sweet frothy monstrosity of a milkshake Euphie had been attempting to comfort herself with.

“Unicorn shake they called it. Tastes like diabetes,” Euphie's smile was thin and unhappy. “Want some?”

Cornelia sighed, rubbing her eyebrow. “No thank you, Euphie.” She took another deep breath and let it out before extending her hand out. “...I was hoping...”

“It's fine,” Euphie took the envelopes for them, dropping one in front of Lelouch and another in front of Suzaku. She opened hers, looking at the typed letterhead along with what was probably a generic form letter about they were proud of her for getting this far, but she wouldn't be able to advance and now she had options, etc.

Lelouch absently blew a puff of air onto his envelope, making it move a little. He didn't bother looking at it, knowing it probably contained similar words to Euphie's. He shot a glance over to see Suzaku staring at the thing as if he could murder it and hid a smile under his elbow. At least he wasn't the only one who was feeling miserable.

“You have options, Euphie,” Cornelia wrapped her arms around herself, the uncomfortable expression still on her face. “J-Tech really loves your score and think you can do well rising through the ranks of LOCENT. They want someone who's able to disseminate information in a fast and controlled manner and I told them that you had that capacity-”

“Cornelia,” Euphie suddenly interrupted and Lelouch looked over to see his younger half-sister staring at the sheet of paper. However, her eyes didn't seem to focus on it.

“...Yes?” the elder li Britannia sounded hesitant.

“Is it too late to test?” Euphie asked and Lelouch blinked. What was his sister thinking?

“Uh, Euphie...”

“Not me,” Euphie shook her head, her pink hair falling around her shoulders. “Them. These two,” she pointed an elegant finger at him and Suzaku.

Lelouch raised his head a little, startled, and Suzaku had immediately leaned forward, wide awake.

“Euphie-” the two of them started at the same time.

She smiled sheepishly at them. “You didn't test together right?”

“N-No...” Lelouch shot a quick look at Suzaku who shook his head.

“Because of me, right?”

Suzaku's brow crinkled for a second and Lelouch opened his mouth to protest before she silenced them with another kind smile. “One of us,” she gestured towards the three of them, “has to make it. I know I'm not good enough. It hurts, but I know I'm not good enough. But the two of you...”

She tightened her grip on the paper that held her fate at the Jaeger Academy. “Please test them Cornelia. I want to fight, but if they are Drift capable, I want to serve as their J-Tech Chief. I want to fight in any way possible and if they have that capability...”

Lelouch almost dared not hope, shooting another quick look at Suzaku who met his gaze with one of his own before they looked up at Cornelia. He could not read her, a frown on her face, her eyebrows knitted together; but her eyes were so wide that it belied a potential denial or angry response to Euphie's request.

She worked her jaw for a second before her hands tightened around her waist. “All right...I'll allow this exception, but-” She held up a hand, the warning now clear in her eyes. “One test only. The two of you should have registered when we did actual testing. The fact you did not makes me wonder why she believes in the two of you, but I will do it for Euphie's sake.”

She gestured for them to follow and they did. Guilford collected the other envelopes while helping Euphie up to her feet as they followed behind. Lelouch felt shaky, giddy and nervous. He lifted his right hand only to find it shaking just slightly. A quick glance at Suzaku who walked next to him made him feel a little better that the teen was also nervous, his fingers clenching and releasing almost unconsciously.

“I have one advice for you, candidates, anything you want to say to each other, get it out now. You only get one shot at this,” Cornelia stated before upping her pace to give them a semblance of privacy as they made their way to the Pons room.

Lelouch glanced back to see that Guilford and Euphie had slowed theirs down too, though Guilford had given Euphie a handkerchief for her to cry into.

“You think she knew?”

“I think she had a bet on us,” Lelouch murmured.

Suzaku looked at him. “Start of Term 2?”

“Probably before that,” he replied quietly. “She told me once that we were alike. That we should try testing, become friends, that sort of thing. But...” he looked away. “I was too proud...too self-absorbed.”

Suzaku laughed quietly. “You're always going to be self-absorbed. You haven't changed in that aspect.”

Lelouch rolled his eyes. “Thanks...for someone who's going to test with me right now. That's quite honest of you.”

Suzaku smiled. “Someone's gotta keep your ego in check.” They looked back at Euphie. “She's perceptive.”

“She's a Britannia...” he replied. “Though she got the better genes than probably myself or any of my other siblings. She has no ego.”

A few seconds of silence stretched between them as they walked up to the doors of the Pons room. There was still light inside, which mean Dr. Lightcap was probably still working or looking over the information gathered from the various candidates during the week.

Suzaku cleared his throat. “You should know something about me...”

“Oh?” Lelouch looked over to see Suzaku staring at the door instead of him.

“I happen to like both guys and girls,” he replied.

Lelouch had to smile and duck his head a little before shrugging. “Isn't a problem for me. I'm not into labels, nor into anyone, but at this point, I think we just let it take its course. It's all we can do for now.”

Suzaku nodded, still looking at the door. “I had to tell Euphie that before we tested. I didn't want her to feel-”

“Euphie prefers to form intense emotional relationships,” Lelouch replied, “but I think she's attracted solely to you.” He didn't claim to know his sister's preferences, but it wasn't hard to guess since Nunnally was nearly the same way. If there was one particular quirk among the Britannian royal family was that their preferences were kept very discreet. It was the way of ensuring that each Prince or Princess would be able to be offered up as a potential alliance through marriage.

“That's why I had to tell her,” Suzaku sighed, his shoulders heaving. “Just so she knows...”

“Anything else we want to confess?” Lelouch prompted.

Suzaku finally cracked a smile and turned from staring at the door to him. “No. Ready?”

He nodded once and they stepped in. Cornelia was already by Dr. Lightcap's side, in discussion with the blonde-haired woman while Nina was cleaning the Pons headsets. The doctor didn't look angry, but rather was nodding along to whatever Cornelia was saying and moving to switch things on her machines.

“Lelouch, Suzaku, please,” she gestured for them take their seats next to each other. However, the first problem was the both of them went for the right chair – technically the right hemisphere.

Lelouch and Suzaku paused, both staring at each other with slightly narrowed gazes. There was a gasp of a muffled laughter from Dr. Lightcap while Nina merely had a bewildered look on her face.

“Oh for, ugh,” Cornelia slapped her hand to her forehead. “Lelouch, left, Suzaku right. You can fight later on who gets to be right hemisphere if you prove you're able to sync.”

“Ma'am,” they both meekly took their seats as Nina fitted them with the headsets. She stepped back, nodding to indicate that they were ready.

“Three, two one-”

The feeling of being spread out was somewhat familiar now, but he felt a little odd, like he could see two of everything. It resolved into one and he felt something brush against his arm. There was some light laughter and he-they turned-

“Lift your right arm,” a disembodied voice asked and though it sounded familiar, it to him-them a moment to figure out that it was speaking to him...to them-

_ This feels weird _ , he- someone thought- as they he, they felt their right hand lift up-

Another burst of laughter, then a caress of sorts on his shoulder that was  _ definitely _ not a friendly one in the most remote sense- a body memory- _ shit! _

“Whoa, breathe Suzaku, breathe...”

Something had happened--? Was Suza- was he-they- were they all right?

“Lelouch, it's fine...it's fine, there...calm...”

“Okay, good, lift your left hand- that's it...”

They-he felt his left hand lift up-

And just as suddenly Lelouch's world resolved itself into the equipment-filled Pons room. He gasped, his lungs drawing in a greedy breath, but he didn't feel as sick as he had in previous sessions. He still hunched forward, barely feeling the headset being taken off of his head. He looked to his right to see Suzaku also doing the same, eyes wide opened as he stared down at the floor.

“Hey...” Lelouch croaked out, his throat suddenly dry.

“...Hey...” Suzaku turned his head and returned a wan smile.

They both sat up after a couple of more breaths and turned to see what the verdict was from Dr. Lightcap and Cornelia who had been watching with her. Cornelia's expression was pensive, but her eyes were wide as she took in the data. Dr. Lightcap however, was chewing on a pencap before a broad smile appeared on her face. She couldn't keep the grin off of her face.

“Eighty-eight percent,” she said. “You are Drift compatible.”

Lelouch and Suzaku both stared at each other. They were Drift compatible, but more worryingly, how were they going to tell Euphie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to whomever picked up on the "Tokyo Babylon" reference (yeah, couldn't resist...).


	22. Jaeger Academy - Term 2 - Part IV

In the end, they did not have to tell Euphie anything. Guilford had already ripped up the envelopes, silently tapping his head indicating that he felt Cornelia's surprise the moment it happened. Euphie had hugged them so tightly on their exit from the Pons room that Lelouch thought she had bruised his left hip in her enthusiasm. She had cried holding them, and they could only awkwardly comfort her while wondering where did they go from here.

A score of eighty-eight on the first sync test.

Well...that was interesting, he, or rather, they didn't expect that kind of score. Drift compatible indeed. He glanced over, a sardonic smile on his face. “Who knew?”

“Who knew...”

Thursday night had turned into early Friday morning, but the two of them had no intention of sleeping yet. Instead, they found themselves in the small alcove near the main hallway once more, sitting and watching the starry sky before them. A beautiful Aurora Boreas show was being held. The sinewy lights of green and vibrant reds danced this way and that in the starry sky. The lack of light pollution made Lelouch think of Nunnally and home. Oahu had little to no light pollution, but there was also no auroras to look at.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “So...what...are you going to do about it?”

“I was about to ask you.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Euphie's happy,” Suzaku murmured.

“Euphie won a bet. Of course she's happy,” Lelouch sighed into his hand. At this rate, Euphie was a hell of a lot better than he was when it came to the betting pool. He saw her accept four hundred dollars from Rivalz.

Suzaku chuckled quietly. “I've just stepped into a the middle of some kind of royal fight, haven't I?”

“Eh,” Lelouch shrugged. “It's all friendly games.” He didn't add that it could get deadly at times. First Prince Odysseus du Britannia used to have a much younger baby brother. Until it was found dead one morning. The official cause was SIDS, but everyone suspected it was a warning in the guise of an assassination of a royal baby. The culprit was never found, but rumor had it that First Princess Guinevere had snidely asked if everything seemed to be all right – in the middle of the baby's funeral.

“Do you want to do this?”

“Do you?” he countered, shooting a look out of the corner of his eye to the Japanese teen.

“If we truly sync up, we're going to do full Drifting in Term 3. I heard it's supposed to be worse than the tests,” Suzaku had pulled his knees up and was resting his chin on them. His hands were encircled around his shins.

“You'll probably see Trespasser,” Lelouch offered. “It's not pretty.”

“War never is,” Suzaku murmured.

“My mother survived an assassination attempt when I was ten. You'll probably see that too,” he continued. They had been warned about a quirk of a full Drift called RABIT – Random Active Brain Impulse Triggers. It was when a sharp memory overtook their senses and pretty much would derail a sync as one or both chased after it. Lelouch took it as that certain memories would probably be those triggers and was at least laying out some of his worse ones in case they did happen.

“My...father,” Suzaku started reluctantly. “He and I don't have a good relationship...you'll see some of that... Tohdoh tried where he could. He was...he was more of a father to me than my actual father...”

Lelouch stole another look at Suzaku, noting that his green eyes were downcast.

“You'll see the aftermath of Manila,” Suzaku continued. “I...was there for humanitarian aid. Kaiju blue...” He grimaced and did not finish.

They lapsed into silence. Tomorrow, or rather later in the morning they would get further instructions on what to expect for the rest of the term, leaving a rare weekend where there were no class or reviews. They were still expected to do calisthenics, but it seemed that the end of Week 4 and into Week 5 was for the newly paired candidates to get to know one another and improve their syncs while those who were cut got a chance to figure out what they wanted to do now that they weren't eligible to continue Ranger training.

“Let's keep testing,” Lelouch finally said.

“Let's,” Suzaku agreed before a small smile appeared on his lips. “And put a bet on ourselves for first Jaeger of the class.”

It was Lelouch's turn to laugh. “Blowing right past Ranger Readiness and going straight to Jaegers. I knew you were holding something back.”

“Can't let you hog the spotlight Lelouch,” Suzaku smirked. “Go big or go home.”

“Agreed.”

* * *

Week 5 and Week 6 were much like Week 4 with more and more testing. Both Lelouch and Suzaku felt so exhausted nearing the end of Week 6 going into Week 7 like their brains were stretched too thinly and molded into putty that they were grateful for all of the breaks that had been included into their new schedule. They were still expected to memorize and  _ learn _ new concepts, especially about Drifting, but the two found that studying the material together also upped their sync ratios and abilities to meld together that much better.

Lelouch was getting used to the sensation of a double vision, or feeling, like he couldn't get rid of the itch and so ignored it for the most part. He still felt occasional ghostly sensations, especially ones that roamed the more intimate parts of his body from time to time, but was getting used to it – knowing that they came from Suzaku and it was only impulses that couldn't be helped. Suzaku seemed particularly embarrassed after each time to the point where Lelouch had to tell him point blank that he  _ didn't  _ care that Suzaku was not a virgin nor was he that prudish. He knew what it meant at their ages to have sexual urges and feelings.

However, he supposed he had his own hang ups as the more emotionally draining tests usually was unleashed by his own sensations of fear, and furious anger. They reeled each time, as he recalled his own feelings on kaiju and of the Emperor's callousness towards Marianne's death.

But it wasn't all emotional highs or intimate sensations the whole time. For the most part, he heard some laughter, a gentle pat on the head or back, it was also mingled in with joy, rough patches that felt a little like sand, or even the whispered lullaby and a sense of protectiveness. They couldn't tell whether it was Lelouch or Suzaku who felt that particular one, but it was a pleasant sensation to counter act all of the rougher ones from time to time.

An Orange Alert was issued by the PPDC in the middle of Week 6, canceling the Gage twins' appearance at the Academy. All available Jaeger pilots with the exception of Cornelia and Guilford were expected to be ready at a moment's notice. That meant that they were expecting a kaiju attack somewhere. K-Watch in the Mariana Islands had reported some earthquakes which had been hypothesized as kaiju's footsteps on the ground. Orange Alert also meant classes were truncated and study handouts were given instead in order to help facilitate quick movements into Red Alert mode.

This included the students who had elected to continue at the Academy, though under different instruction. Though the Ranger candidates saw their friends on occasion during the three weeks, they were more or less now exclusively working with the other Ranger candidates. Naoto and Kallen had an eighty percent starting sync and were slowly working their way up and now had eighty-nine percent. Jeremiah and Villetta started at a steady eighty-five and were hovering at ninety. Lelouch and Suzaku were nearing ninety-three though they dipped once or twice early on into the low eighties and it was partially due to some of their earlier hang ups. Once they had gotten past that hurdle, their numbers rose steadily.

It was early Sunday morning May 15 th , 2016 the start of Week 7 when the kaiju warning alarms blared across the Academy grounds. Red Alert.

They were woken out of their beds and immediately followed the procedures for Red Alert protocol – which meant all classes and activities were canceled and they were shuffled to a secure underground bunker to wait out the attack. It was the first time the paired pilot candidates had seen some of their friends and fellow classmates of 2016-A since they had been separated, so there had been a lot of initial joy and some basic catching up for the two weeks.

However, when General li Britannia walked in with Guilford and Dr. Lightcap, the crowd fell into a hush watching her as she fired up a series of hard light projection screens in front of them. Telemetry, raw data and all sorts of things sprung up, as if it was a miniature LOCENT.

Lelouch and Suzaku naturally gravitated towards Euphie and the three sat themselves near the Ashford Academy students as well as some of the Japanese and foreigners that stayed. Ohgi was sitting next to Kallen and Naoto in front of them. Nina joined them on the floor, having been allowed to leave Dr. Lightcap's side for the Red Alert. Euphie scooted over to make room for the blushing girl who sat with a quiet 'thank you.'

“This is telemetry from K-Watch with projected paths based on the buoys installed. The K-Watch backup station on Oahu is also watching the telemetry and their analysts are doing some comparison works, but the Red Alert was issued because of a high percentage of where we're sure the kaiju will go towards,” Cornelia started without preamble.

She flicked another screen into a larger projection and Lelouch's eyes widened at the sight. It was the clear outline of a kaiju. There were no coloration or patters or anything to tell what it truly looked like. “Our sonars aren't that advance enough to capture a full picture of the kaiju, but based on the displacement, inherent radiation levels and weight-class, this is a small Category 2. However, note that the width is a lot more than previous kaijus in this category.”

Lelouch watched, fascinated as Cornelia expanded the blurry outline of the kaiju's profile. “We think it has at least four legs and two claw-like pinchers. Probably primary weapons.”

“What are the things above it's...head? Is it its head?” Someone asked.

“We're not sure,” Cornelia admitted. “It may be its head or it may be some kind of offensive or defensive mechanism. Until it's engaged or comes onto land where we can get a good visual on it, we won't be able to tell. The kaiju has been dubbed Onibaba.”

“Fitting for a demon grandma,” Ohgi muttered and those in the room who were Japanese along with those who understood the language nodded.

Lelouch glanced at Suzaku who shrugged in return, having no preference regarding the name. He turned back as Cornelia continued her lecture. She brought up another screen, this one with multiple lines, some in squiggly patterns, some with sweeping curves. All of it originated from the Mariana Trench. It looked a little like a cyclone or hurricane prediction map in Lelouch's opinion. Cornelia swiped something over it and the lines made more sense.

“As you know from Term 1 studies on theory of attacks, we've made some headway into predicting that the location of attacks. We think they are primarily based on urban runoff which the kaiju use to hone in on population centers.” She added another overlay, this one with trade wind patterns with a distinctive date on it – May 2016. “Based on trade winds, we think that Onibaba is going to attack either the northern Chinese coast or Japan itself.”

Lelouch felt Suzaku stiffen next to him as did many of the others around them. Milly, Shirley, Nina and Rivalz looked faint, with the latter two murmuring small 'no's'. In front of them, Kallen, Ohgi and Naoto all reached out to each other, their hands clinging together at the news.

Lelouch looked over to see Euphie had taken one of Nina's hands, attempting to comfort the small girl next to her. He reached out and grasped Suzaku's shoulder, still not exactly comfortable with the sensation of physical touch after their many hours in Pons testing. The weird sensations, coupled with how he felt like his brain was turning into putty were still a little too raw for him to completely process even the most basic of physical acts like patting his friend on the back. It was also the fact that he wasn't exactly one who liked the tactile feel of giving comfort to others like Euphie was. That didn't mean he wasn't capable, he was just not comfortable most of the time.

Suzaku was shaking like a leaf, his shoulders tense as he tried to keep his composure.

“Hey...” Lelouch whispered roughly.

Suzaku turned and nodded. His eyes were clearly trying to contain his fear, but Lelouch did not need to know that his friend was terrified at the prospect of Japan about to have its first kaiju attack. He squeezed his partner's shoulder gently. The words 'it's all right' were stuck in his mouth as he knew useless platitudes would not help him at this time. Instead, he hoped that his presence was enough to at least mitigate some of the terror.

“How...” Suzaku spoke up, his voice all but a croak, but it was audible over the hushed silence. “How long? Until we know?”

Cornelia looked at their little group with some sympathy in her eyes, but solemnly shook her head. “We don't know. It could be several hours, or it could happen in thirty minutes. Unfortunately we're still trying to predict how fast a kaiju moves in water and correlate it with the attack vectors.”

She brought up another map, shrinking the one with the attack patterns to the side. “The Hong Kong Shatterdome has currently launched its complement of Jaegers to various sites to wait out the potential for attack. Cherno Alpha is holding the northern sections of the Russian coastline and Alaskan ones including us at the Academy. Coyote Tango is holding the northern Japanese coastlines for first intercept with Tacit Ronin holding southern Japan and the South China Sea.” There were designated dots that lit with each naming of a Jaeger.

Lelouch automatically found his eyes drawn towards the one that was sitting off of one of the eastern most cities off the coast of Japan. The location tracker marked the city as Sendai, the Jaeger: Coyote Tango, piloted by Marshal Tohdoh and Nagisa Chiba. It explained why the two were not their Term 2 instructors. They must have rotated out with Cornelia and assigned back to the Hong Kong Shatterdome.

“Romeo Blue is in Seattle, having been run up from Pendragon Shatterdome, but we don't expect an attack on the eastern front,” Cornelia said as the active marker for the Knights of Two's Jaeger lit up. “Vercingetorix is holding Hong Kong itself and Lucky Seven is holding the Pacific Islands in Manila while also covering Australia.”

Lelouch grimaced, staring at the map. One Jaeger covering thousands of miles of coastal sea. While they knew what one Jaeger could do to a kaiju, he did not like the look of the map at the moment. There were technically supposed to be two more Jaegers, but Brawler Yukon was all but decommissioned as a training Jaeger for the pilot candidates and Vincent Gloucester's pilots were standing in the bunker with them.

“Your expression is apt, Candidate Lamperouge,” Cornelia called out and Lelouch blinked before he looked up to see her staring at him. “You want to explain?”

Lelouch lifted his hand from Suzaku's shoulder and straightened his posture. He stayed seated, but made sure everyone could hear him. “Numbers. There are only six activate Jaegers covering not even half of the Pacific Rim. One Jaeger, deployed to cover ground in populated areas that can stretch for thousands of miles. Even if they used Jumphawks, intercepting a kaiju attack would still inflict hundreds of thousands of casualties before the kaiju could even be stopped.”

He gestured towards where Tacit Ronin and Coyote Tango's markers were blinking. “There's also the consideration of what Jaegers to deploy I take it?”

“Astute,” Cornelia's eyes gleamed, but she nodded. “Continue.”

“Tacit Ronin and Coyote Tango were built by the Japanese. Three of the four pilots are Japanese. However, while Ronin is the fastest at intercepts and Coyote coming in second for her lighter frame, that is a lot of population ground to cover, especially with the density of buildings around them. But politics won't allow them to deploy a heavier Jaeger like Cherno Alpha that could instantly stop a kaiju in its tracks. However, Cherno Alpha is also one of the slowest. So the best they can do is deploy near Japan and hope that Ronin or Coyote can deflect an imminent attack with Cherno to back them up when it does arrive.”

He pointed to Romeo Blue. “Japan and China will never accept Romeo Blue on its shores so the best Romeo can do is cover the least likely attack vector. I presume it's probably the same for Vincent, right?”

Cornelia nodded. She crossed her arms and gestured with her chin for him to finish.

“Vercingetorix is accepted by Hong Kong because its pilots are European Union and the Chinese Federation have a trade agreement with them – also previous mutual enemy. It's also why Lucky Seven is down in Australia covering Manila, neutral territory considering at least one of its pilots is Britannian.”

“But surely you don't think that each of the Jaegers won't let the other get destroyed? Is that what you're implying?” Naoto challenged and Lelouch smiled slightly.

“I hope not,” he admitted, “if not for the sake of everyone. But if you think about it. All of the pilot candidates and their respective classes, they come out like us. Or rather, we'll be coming out like them. International cooperation and all for a common cause; the only cause.”

“So...let me get this straight. No matter what we do, we'll still be at the whims of politics?” Kallen wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Like Naoto and I may not be able to be deployed to cover Pendragon and the west coast of the Britannian Homeland because someone might say we're Japanese instead of Britannian? Or they may think we won't fight for Japan because we're half-Britannian?”

“Oh my God, or they may blame us for the loss of life because we're not of their race or nationality or whatever,” someone muttered.

That sent a deathly hush among the class of seventy. Lelouch noted that even Jeremiah and Villetta looked very disturbed by the possibility. “That's...” Jeremiah curled a hand into a fist and slammed it against his knee. “That's bullshit...”

“Is it?” Lelouch countered, a steely look at the other man. Jeremiah looked away, shame flushing his cheeks. Villetta reached out to place a hand on her partner's arm, but even she looked ashamed.

“This is why we emphasize our Code of Conduct. This is why we don't tolerate racial prejudices and encourage everyone to get to know one another. To move out of their comfort zones, dispel the notions, assumptions and habits they have of those they don't know. Because when you graduate from the Academy, this will await you and the only way we can start the real fight against the kaiju is to stop things like this from happening,” Cornelia gestured towards the deployment map, her voice firm, decisive.

Lelouch stared at his older half-sister, seeing her in a completely new light. She  _ was _ different than what he remembered. The Cornelia he knew from long ago disliked Honorary Britannians, but tolerated them as soldiers and treated them fairly. It wasn't a dislike of the Honorary Britannian system, but rather just what she had been used to growing up. However, as a soldier, she also knew that prejudices and favoritism had no business on the battlefield. Each man or woman would prove themselves and if they did it on the battlefield then there was no denying that they were better than their peers – Honorary Britannian or not.

Yet for Cornelia to seemingly abandon her prejudices and notions of Britannian superiority for the PPDC's mandate of cooperation in an effort to defeat the kaiju...it was oddly refreshing to Lelouch. He glanced at Suzaku and saw him look back, the fear gone from his friend's eyes and replaced with a determination. He nodded silently in agreement. They  _ had _ to make their partnership work. If not for the symbolism, but also for the fact that neither of them would stand for such an injustice in light of a bigger threat.

It was only after a few minutes of silence ticked by without anyone speaking that someone spoke up. “So...what now?”

“Now we wait,” Guilford stepped up next to Cornelia, watching the screens.

* * *

It was a long wait.

The lines of projection was replaced by a warning cone similar to when hurricanes were about to make landfall. The early morning hours turned into noon. They were all served emergency rations, their first introduction to the stale, but nutritious bars that each Jaeger pilot or support crew was required to eat during Red Alert deployments. It was mainly to keep their energy levels and hunger at bay. Thankfully, coffee, water, juice and tea were served in order to wash the unappetizing bars down.

A rotating bathroom break was allowed, but they were strictly enforced. Go, do your business, wash your hands and return. No dawdling in the halls, no talking with one another until they were back in the bunker. Some in the bunker had decided to do some light stretches, but most of the time, they kept in their small groups, occasionally sleeping or watching the projections.

Lelouch, Suzaku, Euphie and Nina found themselves sitting against one of the bunker's walls with a good view of the projections – Suzaku could not keep his eyes off of it even as he had walked to the bathroom and back and Lelouch didn't blame him. Nina was leaning her head against Euphie's shoulder, while Euphie absently carded her hand through the green hair. The petite girl had fallen into an uneasy slumber, curled up against Euphie's side.

Lelouch was up against Euphie's other side, his hand laced through her freed one as he watched the screens. Suzaku sat next to him, both of their legs extended out, occasionally knocking their feet into one another in an attempt to alleviate some boredom. Suzaku's head was perilously close, but not quite touching Lelouch's shoulder as he watched the screens.

Cornelia and Guilford had not moved much from their station, watching the screens like hawks. Occasionally they put their heads together to murmur to each other, but even they were watching the screens carefully.

It was nearing the early afternoon when suddenly a beeping warning roused almost everyone and the cone of projection instantly changed shape.

“Well...fuck,” Ohgi unceremoniously dropped the swear at the new projection.

Onibaba was making for the Japanese coast.

Lelouch felt Suzaku stiffen a little, but he was looking at projects with some interest now instead of the previous fear. Lelouch looked back as Cornelia held something to her ear for a few minutes before lowering it and stepping forward towards them again.

“All right, it's time now that we have a better idea of where the kaiju is headed. There's still a lot of ground to cover, but it's best for you to hear this.”

She cleared her throat. “What you hear from the media and their notions of kaiju battle is, for the lack of a better word, romantic in the sense that it's very grandiose, glorified and enthusiastic. The actual combat feed is less than that. There are some who think war is glorious. Some who think war is horrible. We are not here to judge. Only to live in that moment and be realistic about what we face. Some of you know this already, having witnessed kaiju attacks first-hand.”

She flipped a switch on and they heard the squeals of radio chatter. It was a mix of a thousand different languages.

“All of the teams, except for Romeo Blue have their LOCENT located in Hong Kong for now. Communication may be a bit spotty, especially for Cherno Alpha located so north of Hong Kong. But it looks like Ronin and Coyote are being re-deployed for intercept and we'll be riding with them.”

“Ronin and Coyote are synced Field Marshal Gu,” someone spoke up on the comms.

“Coyote here, moving to Tokyo Bay for intercept,” Tohdoh's voice was clear and most of the room seemingly jumped a little at the voice of their former instructor. Suzaku in particular perked up, staring with wide eyes at the projected screen. “Cone's showing between Tokyo and Nagoya now.” A few minutes later, the projected cone had shrunk exactly to where Tohdoh had said.

“Ronin here, it'll take us two and half hours to move from Seoul to Nagoya,” a female voice spoke up. It took Lelouch a moment to remember who the two pilots of Tacit Ronin were – Duc and Kaori Jessop. Duc was Australian and Kaori was Japanese. Both had been part of their respective military establishments and became one of the first non-related Drift partners, similar to Lightcap and D'Onofrio. In a surprising move to many, they got married two weeks after being assigned Tacit Ronin.

“Stay in the Drift, we may have to hot-drop if the cone changes south.” a voice said and he suspected it was their J-Tech Chief.

“Roger LOCENT,” Kaori acknowledged.

“LOCENT, Tohdoh here, we're moving to Yokosuka. Better intercept point-”

“Negative Coyote. We're not sure if it'll go around or through Chiba to reach Tokyo,” their J-Tech Chief barked.

“Tch, Asahina, what is Urabe doing?!” Tohdoh sounded annoyed. “The runoff work is clear! It's probably going to use Yokohama harbor and swim up to hit Tokyo-”

“Standby Tohdoh, Nagisa, we're getting new telemetry from the sonars set up a few months ago,” the man named Asahina who was probably their J-Tech Chief clicked his comm off to offline his conversation.

“ _ Urabe's projections are getting sloppy, _ ” Tohdoh grumbled in Japanese.

“ _ Maa, maa, you're just still pissy because you didn't get your Strategos position approved by the Board, _ ” Nagisa Chiba's voice sounded vastly different than the one she put up for an Instructor and everyone stared at the comms even though those who didn't speak Japanese. She almost sounded like she was teasing Tohdoh which Lelouch couldn't believe was possible. “ _ Take it out on Onibaba.” _

There was a faint twitter of laughter among the candidates that spoke Japanese and out of the corner of his eye, Lelouch saw Suzaku with a nervous smile on his face.

“All right, we got...yup, okay, you are go for deployment to Yokosuka,” Asahina's voice came back strong.

“Coyote moving,” Tohdoh's voice was all business before the map showed the little dot that designated the Jaeger moving from its position above Tokyo down the map.

There was little chatter for some time before Tohdoh spoke up again. “Status of evacuations?”

“Forty-five percent.”

“Forty-five? How-”

“Traffic mix up on the highways led to delays,” even Asahina sounded annoyed. “And some are reporting resistance to evacuations based on the fact that the Diet Building has not evacuated.”

“What the- get me a direct line to the Prime Minister right now!”

Suzaku's head shot up before his brow crinkled in consternation as he ran a hand down his face. “ _ What the shit Father?! _ ” Lelouch heard him mutter faintly. “ _ This isn't a last stand, you bastard _ .”

It was then that Lelouch noticed several eyes looking at Suzaku. He met their looks with a glare of his own, challenging them to say anything to Suzaku who kept his head down. They meekly turned back as Suzaku pulled his legs up and rested his forehead against his knees, curling his arms around.

Lelouch knocked his own shoulder into Suzaku's, earning him a brief silent nod that he interpreted as his friend being all right.

A squeal on the comm emerged a few minutes later. “Diet Building being evacuated,” Tohdoh announced.

Lelouch felt Suzaku tremble in relief.

“Status on Ashford Academy and the Britannian embassy?”

There were high pitched squeaks from Milly and the others as they leaned forward, almost hungry for the news.

“Britannian embassy received all Academy personnel and students. Those that didn't leave have gone to their bunkers. Britannian Embassy completely empty!”

Milly, Kallen, Shirley, Nina and Rivalz all had audible sighs of relief. Lelouch saw Milly looking a little worried as she nibbled her lower lip. He suspected perhaps her grandfather had been one of those that stayed in the bunkers.

“Projection narrowed!” Someone barked over the comms and all looked up to see the cone turn from orange to a red, directly pointed at Yokohama and Tokyo.

“Red Alert issued for Yokohama, Tokyo and surrounding cities. All civilians advised to evacuate to the nearest shelter. Ships have been issued warning alerts-”

“Kaiju spotted! Kaiju spotted!”

They watched as the first live video feeds appeared on the screens as an unnatural wave crested at the mouth of Yokohama Harbor. The distant grainy figure of Coyote Tango could be seen with its untested energycaster pointed directly at the wave.

“Readying energycaster,” both Tohdoh and Nagisa's voice doubled over each other. A small glow started as the Jumphawk that had spotted the kaiju flew closer and closer- “Fire!”

Something blue and crackling shot out towards the wave and impacted near the surface before the wave disappeared.

“LOCENT, status?!”

“Negative on hit, kaiju signature has disappeared again.”

“ _ Shit _ ,” the two pilots cursed before Coyote Tango moved from its position, running and hugging the coastline as it went inward. “Jumpers, visual?”

“No contact. I can't see a damn thing...It's like it's blending in with the water-”

“Shit, it's definitely headed inland, the ships!” Someone in LOCENT barked and Lelouch turned to see the blips on the map that indicated shipping vessels were slowly turning red and disappearing. He grimaced. Those were lives on those ships, and the kaiju was easily ripping them apart while in the water.

“We need to get it out,” he heard Tohdoh mutter.

“Mortars?” Nagisa suggested.

“Concussion rounds,” the two of them suddenly said. A few seconds later, Coyote Tango spat out small objects that fell into the water and the sea around them exploded as if someone had thrown a ton of rocks into it.

Onibaba came flying out of the water, gigantic pinchers lunging at Coyote. It looked like a hellish crab-beetle-like thing, dark orange-black coloration with beady eyes in the center of its body. What they had thought was its head looked like horns of sort, like an Asian long-horned beetle. Its mandibles dripped with the glowing blue of kaiju blood and it screeched as Coyote dodged one of its claws and struck back with a fist into its middle, sending it flying into a nearby building.

The building was demolished, but Coyote moved fast, kicking it further into two more buildings. Onibaba, flailed and rolled onto its back, crawling out of the building before it charged at Coyote again. They watched as the Jaeger moved quickly, ducking under a swipe before it hammered at the crest, trying to find a weakness of sorts.

“Billboard!” Nagisa shouted and Coyote reached out to grab a fallen billboard before using it to smash the kaiju like a giant bug.

It was flattened, but tore through the flimsy thing. It screeched before suddenly turning to everyone's surprise and scuttled away.

“After it! Don't let it get to Tokyo center!” the two pilots shouted as they gave chase.

“Holy shit this thing has  _ speed _ !” Someone shouted over the comms.

“LOCENT, get the fighters in to drive it back to us, but be careful!” Tohdoh and Nagisa shouted.

“Roger, 7 th Air Wing, you have a go! Stay high and don't fall for the shallow swipes!”

A squadron of jets circled around the kaiju, peppering it with bullets and missiles, but all of it seemed to not really deter the beast that was now ripping apart Tokyo and its surrounding suburbs. The distant form of the small, but famous Tokyo Tower with its orange and white distinctive paint was growing closer.

Lelouch heard a gasping nearly-silent sob next to him and turned to see Suzaku staring wide-eyed at the footage, but tears were running down his eyes. His hands were clenched together, white-knuckled. He realized Suzaku was having a panic attack at the sounds and sights of the battle as Tokyo was getting utterly demolished.

He reached out, trying to pry one of Suzaku's hands and was rewarded with his friend latching onto him and burying his face against his arm. Suzaku shook like a leaf; terror, fear, the destruction of his hometown clearly overwhelming him. It was also then that Lelouch noticed those who had families or were from Japan were clinging to one another, crying and praying. Euphie had all but hugged Nina, trying to cover her ears from the sounds of the comms and fight.

Lelouch awkwardly reached out, placing his other hand on top of Suzaku's head. He empathize with him, knowing that this was the same terror he had felt with Trespasser. It echoed along their nascent bond. He shot a glance over to Euphie who was also silently crying, but she shook her head at him. It was whatever little they could do to help those around them to get through this.

“Asahina, is the Diet and Residence fully evacuated?!” Tohdoh shouted, sending a shudder through Suzaku.

“Negative! There's still a few people left, but they're scrambling-”

“Is the Prime Minister gone?!” Tohdoh roared.

“Uh---yes, yes, he is!” Asahina replied. Suzaku bit back another choked sob and Lelouch winced at how tight his friend was squeezing his hand.

“ _ Good, _ ” Tohdoh replied gruffly. “We're going to intercept at Tokyo Tower,” he said out loud.

Lelouch noticed that the cameras were showing the National Diet Building – which he had learned was the equivalent to the working national government building like the Capitol in Britannian terms, just north of Tokyo Tower. Onibaba was coming up from a south easterly direction and Coyote Tango was running through the city streets, crashing through buildings to get to Tokyo Tower to intercept the creature before it destroyed the symbol of the Japanese government.

“Cherno Alpha, two hours to intercept! Starting handshake protocols!”

“Tacit Ronin here, we're almost there, hang in there Coyote!”

Coyote Tango skidded to a stop next to the Tokyo Tower, destroying half of the cars parked there as well as churning up concrete and parkland. Its front mortars were pointed at the sky before it fired off several bright flare-like ordinance. However, just as it raised its energycaster there was the sudden faint blare of an alarm-

“Shit, Nagisa, you're out of alignment-”

“She's having a seizure-”

“ _ Nagisa! Nagisa, what's- _ ” Tohdoh's frantic call to his partner was lost in the next words.

“Oh fuck, she's not responding! Handshake protocols are deactivating-”

Lelouch jumped as Cornelia slammed an angry fist into the wall and he gave a stuttering sound of pain at the tightening grip. He could feel his friend's silent heaving gasps. The Japanese teen was leaning forward, head between his knees, his eyes blown wide open, the terror of the fight and panic attack completely consuming him. He wasn't even watching anymore, nor did Lelouch think he was even listening to anything except what was on the comms.

He made a decision and got to his knees, moving so that he was in front of what was supposed to be Suzaku's line of vision. “Suzaku,” he muttered over the panicked sounds of Coyote's LOCENT and the roars of the incoming Onibaba. “Suzaku,” he reached out and grasped onto Suzaku's hand that was squeezing the life out of his right one.

“Suzaku, listen to me. You're all right, you're going to be fine. It's fine, just listen to me, listen to my voice. You're going to be fine, you're going to make it through this. I've got you here, okay? I've got you. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to let you go-”

“Holy shit, Tohdoh, what the hell-”

“You're going to die if you solo-”

“ _ Tohdoh, don't do this! It's not worth your life! _ ” Someone shouted in Japanese on the comms.

“Holy...”

Lelouch couldn't see what was happening, but he heard an angry screech, the distinctive whine of the experimental energycaster powering up before its snap-hiss discharge echoed across the comms. It was followed by two more snap-hissing discharges before the grating whine of something being bent and broken. Then Onibaba roared, pain-filled, and finally the giant thunk of something falling was heard.

Dead silence reigned across the comm for a few seconds that felt like hours before Asahina's shaky voice came over.

“Uh...c-confirmed k-kaiju signature gone, fifteen-thirty-two PPDC Zulu.”

Shaky cheers echoed across the comm and in the room as everyone breathed their sighs of relief or cried into each others arms, but Lelouch only had eyes for the one person that he had been kneeling in front of.

Suzaku suddenly released his hands and clung instead onto him, uncontrolled silent sobs of relief falling from his mouth. Lelouch stumbled and fell onto his backside. But the hurt was momentary as he caught his friend and wrapped his arms around him, patting him gently on the back. The old aches of sympathy, sorrow, and loss washed over him, as he murmured into Suzaku's ear.

“You're okay, Suzaku. I've got you...I've always got you...”


	23. Jaeger Academy - Term 2 - Part V

Classes were allowed to resume the next day, with both the Jaeger candidates and those continuing onto other areas of study chewing over the new data that the fight against Onibaba had produced. The one thing everyone could agree on was that Tohdoh's miracle solo piloting of a Jaeger without suffering from neural overload was an absolutely stunning feat. Dr. Lightcap had immediately booked the next flight to Tokyo, leaving Nina in charge of the continued Drift testing.

They learned that both Nagisa and Tohdoh were in the local military hospital, under Ranger Protocols which meant neither pilot should be separated unless under extreme duress. It seemed the hospital had apparently tried to do so to dire effects as Tohdoh nearly went on a rampage, injuring several doctors and nurses along the way. He was only subdued by the arrival of Tacit Ronin's pilots who interceded on Tohdoh's behalf and coaxed him back to bed.

Their respective personnel from Hong Kong had arrived shortly after, moving Tohdoh and Nagisa to a private ward to prep for Dr. Lightcap's arrival. There wasn't much said about either pilots condition, but from what Cornelia had told him and Suzaku in private, Tohdoh had been very, very lucky to not suffer a neural overload in the handful of minutes he solo piloted Coyote Tango.

Suzaku had asked after Nagisa Chiba and Cornelia said that the PPDC was being unusually tight-lipped about her condition, but it seemed she suffered some kind of seizure and that was what deactivated the handshake between the two mid-combat. Lelouch's first immediate thought was that it was something to do with the untested energycaster and said so as much.

Cornelia merely nodded and said she would put forth his suggestion to the higher ups. It surprised Lelouch that his older sister was so accommodating, but he realized that she was more than likely looking at him like a fellow Ranger than a candidate now that he had successfully synced with a partner.

As for Suzaku, after they had been released from the bunker, the two of them stumbled back to the dorms Suzaku shared with several others and the teen immediately fell into a long and deep sleep. Lelouch was about to leave him to his dorm mates, but a mumbled murmur of his name kept him and so he found himself pulling up a chair and sitting next to his sleeping partner. He spent the time looking over the data on Onibaba, reviewing the approach, the path of attack and the aftermath.

It was a little after midnight when most of Suzaku's dorm mates were fast asleep that Lelouch felt safe and comfortable enough to leave him sleeping for the rest of the night. He went to his own dorm across the way and fell asleep, utterly and emotionally exhausted from the day's events.

The next morning he deliberately skipped the morning calisthenics and instead, found the biggest pot of coffee and absconded it to the mess hall table where he continued to review the data. It was where Suzaku had found him in the morning. The Japanese teen looked a little rumpled, red-eyed from all of the crying he did the day before, but also clearly awake from morning calisthenics.

“You're lucky Guilford wasn't watching the morning exercises,” Suzaku cautioned as he sat down with a plate of food. “Did you get any?”

“Huh?” Lelouch studied the oceanographic maps.

“Food, did you get any or are you just going to drink that giant pot of  _ communal _ coffee?”

“Coffee is food,” Lelouch replied absently as he drew an imaginary line with his finger from one point to another. He made a note in the PDA he had.

Suzaku sighed before shoving the plate at him. “Eat,” the Japanese teen stated.

“I'm fine-”

“Eat. We're both wrung out from yesterday,” Suzaku insisted.

Lelouch looked up from his maps and studied the brown-haired green-eyed teen before him.

A small smile twitched the corner of Suzaku's lips. “Thank you, for yesterday. I...”

Lelouch shrugged. “It's what partners do for each other. Besides, a panic attack in the middle of a kaiju versus Jaeger fight isn't uncommon. It was your first time seeing one like that, attacking your homeland. You've every right to be worried and terrified.”

“Trespasser?”

Lelouch closed his eyes briefly and nodded. “Close enough.”

“Part of me knows I should be embarrassed for my actions yesterday,” Suzaku started and Lelouch opened his eyes to see the teen with a thoughtful expression on his face. “I mean, I should be stronger than that. I should be able to handle my emotions. But another part of me realizes that we're all just human. It's human of us to act in ways we don't think we would do under difficult circumstances.” He reached over to the plate with a chopstick and picked a piece of hashbrown and ate it. Lelouch frowned, wondering why Suzaku was stealing off of what was now  _ his _ plate.

“I think...I might have acted the way I did was because you were there. Just...there, whispering words or just a presence. It helped me, helped me focus, help me push away the thoughts that my Father might be dead, that  _ Tohdoh-sensei _ may have died. That all those people in Tokyo died...”

Suzaku smiled, a small bright one that went into his eyes, turning them into emerald sparkles. It stirred something in Lelouch that he did not know had existed until now. “Thank you, Lelouch.”

He thought it might be love.

* * *

Week 8 came fast and Dr. Lightcap returned with two others with her to close out Term 2. They were given final evaluation tests, with Naoto and Kallen topping out at ninety-two percent, Jeremiah and Villetta at a solid ninety-five and Lelouch and Suzaku at ninety-eight; though Lelouch definitely felt a bit of a disquieting sensation in the testing from Suzaku. It had been prevalent since the start of Week 8, but his partner was tight-lipped. The two guests that came with Cornelia seemed to whistle in genuine appreciation at all of their high scores before sitting the six Jaeger candidates in a room to explain to them what Term 3 would entail.

Lelouch could not tell the Gage twins apart.

And it seemed neither could anyone else,  _ including _ Dr. Lightcap.

The twins were wearing their casual grey PPDC uniform and it didn't help that their name bars both had Gage written on it. No amount of searching for any type of tell could even discern which was Trevin and which was Bruce. Even their introductions left the six confused as they quickly forgot which was which. Only Nina seemed – by some miracle – to be able to tell which one was which. Lelouch was determined to corner her once they were done with the briefing and make her tell him.

The Knights of Two – to which Lightcap jokingly called them the Terrible Two Knights – were also not your average Britannian Knightmare pilots either. Both of them had unremarkable service records prior to their joining of the PPDC, deployed to the St. Petersburg front to fight the E.U. with their regiment before applying to the PPDC. They were also some of the most humble Knightmare pilots too, not even once bragging about a kill or a neat maneuver they pulled off.

But they did brag; about their Jaeger the most.

Lelouch supposed a Jaeger was definitely an upgrade from a mere Knightmare which only reached maximum shin-height and couldn't even fly. Romeo Blue had seen combat against Reckoner earlier in the year on January 2 nd . The Jaeger had been deployed to the South Britannian countries, protecting the country formerly known as Peru when Reckoner attempted to first come ashore in late December. For a Jaeger that had been officially deployed two weeks prior to the attack, it was very impressive.

They drove it away from the populated centers with sniper attacks. The kaiju then caught the southerly trade winds and water and made a beeline towards Hong Kong where it was intercepted by Coyote Tango and Cherno Alpha and subsequently killed.

“So we'll be taking over as your instructors once the six of you return for Term 3. You've all passed with flying colors,” Trevin – at least Lelouch thought it was Trevin – said with a sincere smile on his face. “But we need to warn you that there were Term 3 candidates like yourselves who have high testing syncs with one another that have failed out. A full drift is very different and it's our obligation to warn you.”

“Uh...what do you mean?” Naoto raised his hand looking a little nervous. Kallen tugged at her hair.

“Well, for starters, you know those phantom touches, itches, little things you hear like there kind of voices, but they're really not?” the other twin, Bruce...maybe it was Trevin – Lelouch was close to giving up at this point – started.

They nodded. They've all pretty much gotten used to the sensations now. It was easy to ignore and move past, like they were just there and nothing to look at.

“Yeah, it gets worse with a full Drift,” Trevin-Bruce – one of the twins said with a grimacing smile. “You suddenly find yourself living in that person's memory, seeing everything. Like technicolor 3D with stereoscope feelings and sensations. Like you  _ know _ what's going to happen just as it happens. It is trippy...”

“Trippy.” Jeremiah worked his mouth around the word.

“Yes, trippy,” Bruce replied. At this point Lelouch was going to assign them his own names, even if he was wrong.

“It's like you...become that person,” Trevin was trying to gesture with his hands, “like you can feel what they feel. Like you know them. It gets really weird if you both exist in the same memory. Like I see Trevin here when we both celebrated our tenth birthday. But then I see myself in Trevin's eyes doing what  _ I _ know I was doing on that day.”

“Some times, the bad memories are the worse,” Bruce, no Trevin, he was referred to as Trevin, and the other was Bruce. “Bruce's Knightmare was downed in combat and his eject system wasn't working. I saw the enemy approaching and I couldn't stop him. I felt Bruce's fear, we both did, that he was going to die. We don't know what happened after, but all we know is that Bruce survived and I apparently had somehow killed the enemy Knightmare with an impossible shot.”

The twins gestured towards the six of them. “Those are bad RABITs. Took us a few tries before we were able to pull out of them and let it pass by us without any issue. We chased a few good ones to compensate, but the trick is to let the memory wash over you, don't acknowledge it, but don't even try to push it away. You push it away, and bam, there goes your sync and Drift.”

“So we confront it?” Lelouch asked.

“You could, but you can't force those memories to the forefront. Something in the Drift might randomly trigger them. A strong emotion, a code word, a reminder. Even something LOCENT could say could instantly remind you of certain memories and then you may have a RABIT on your hand.”

“Remember, the trick is, when it happens, focus and let it pass through you. Don't fight it and don't push it away. You must be comfortable with yourselves and with each other. You've made it this far and there is trust between each one of you to have your syncs so high.”

“It sounds...easy enough,” Villetta stated quietly.

Both Gage twins grimaced. “Yeah...then comes the hard part. The...weirdness is the best word for it. This is what gets a lot of the pilots. Not the bad memories, not the good ones, not the RABITs, but...the weirdness that comes with melding two minds together.”

Trevin sighed and cross his arms across his chest. “You know those little sensations you've felt? Some of it might have made you uncomfortable at first because of how private they may be?”

The six pilots nodded.

“Remember what I said in technicolor 3D complete with stereoscope feeling?”

All six pilots paled and Lelouch found he suddenly couldn't look Suzaku in the eye. Out of the corner of his own eyes, he saw Kallen turning was red as her hair as did Naoto. Jeremiah looked quite pale and Villetta was white as sheet considering her darker skin coloration.

“Yep,” one of the twins popped the last syllable. “You'll get  _ those _ feelings too.”

Kallen made a gagging noise. “I-uh...”

“We'll tell you from experience, it's not easy to ride those type of feelings out in the Drift. That's...that's where they mess up a lot of the pilots. Even siblings and non-siblings. The only ones that could pretty much handle it are married ones. Which, given that fact, well, makes a lot of sense.”

“H-How...” Lelouch could not even finish his sentence as he found his mouth dry. He understood Suzaku's confession to him right before they did their first ever test, but the fact that Suzaku was turning as red as Kallen and Naoto combined with the fact that Lelouch had told him that he didn't care that Suzaku was not a virgin; this revelation shed a lot of new light onto their previous conversations.

“You learn not to judge,” Bruce offered solemnly. “You trust the person next to you and you learn not to judge. Just remember the person next to you is your partner, your trusted confidant and only the two of you know what's in your Drift. No one else. It's your secret.”

“So...how do you get away from memories like that?” Naoto ventured cautiously.

Trevin crossed his arms across his chest again. “Bruce and I found that refocusing on our goal helps. Also, pulls your mind out of the gutter, but it helps. You just have to not recoil – that's the key. Recoiling damages the handshake.”

The six pilot candidates were silent for a few minutes before Kallen raised her hand.

“Kouzuki, you're not in school-”

She smiled sheepishly at the eye roll Bruce gave her. It was also then that Lelouch realized they called her by her actual preferred last name instead of Stadtfeld. “Um...can I ask about the pilot pairs?”

“What about them?”

“Err...the sibling ones? It...uh...seems to me that the non-sibling ones, well, a majority of them, seem to uh...”

“Ah...” Trevin nodded and Bruce had a faint smile on his face. The twins looked at each other for a few seconds, almost as if having a conversation with each other before Bruce shrugged and sat forward.

“So...everyone asks this too.” He rubbed his hands together and tapped them against his lip. “Drifting does make you close to your partner. There's no doubt about that considering you're living in each other's minds. Some times, two people who find themselves Drift capable do become lovers, sweethearts and even marry. Does it happen to siblings? No. But it does make us a lot closer. Trevin and I weren't that touchy-feely, all hugs and expressive nonsense when we joined the Knightmare Corps. Our parents weren't either.

“But when we ended up Drifting, it helped. We found that the connection, the physical touches, hugs, fist bumps, helped. It also kept us grounded from time to time whenever we might ghost Drift. Which you'll learn next term. No need to worry about it now,” he held up a hand to ward away a question from Villetta. “But if you're asking what I think you're asking, no. None of the sibling pairs we know of that have graduated have ever crossed that line. Can it happen in the future? Who the hell knows, but Trevin and I trust each other that we don't need to do that.”

He suddenly pinned them with a dark look. “Nor do we need that type of media attention.”

“Sir,” they all murmured.

It was clear. Drifting was quite intimate to the point where they did not need any type of rumor scandal of incest. Not only would it be a complete distraction from their ultimate goal of eradicating the world of the kaiju, but it would also invite so much unneeded scrutiny to the efforts of thousands of people who wanted to fight in the war.

“Could it be brain chemistry? Like unrelated pairs versus siblings?”

“Honestly we don't know. That's a question for Dr. Lightcap. Granted she and Sergio are married now, but there is at least four pairs we know that aren't married. Vercingetorix, Coyote Tango, Cherno Alpha and Lucky Seven.” Trevin looked at them. “If you're attempting to fish out whether or not those pairs are lovers or something, I can't tell you that. What goes on between them is their business and their Drift.”

They all grimaced, chastised by the remark. The initial question has been asked wondering what it was like, but Lelouch could see that it had been interpreted as a sense of fishing for information, gossip and scandal. What he learned from it was that pilots did not tell others secrets even if they knew it. They only told what they wanted to and left the rest at that even if it did produce some rumors and curiosity from outsiders.

“Cornelia and Guilford are married?”

“Knight and Lady don't count,” Trevin smirked. “Plus, Cornelia is a stickler for the rules around that. She's a Britannia. Can't get married without the Emperor's permission so she doesn't count.”

Bruce leaned forward. “Term 3 will be hard. But know this, if you can master yourself, if you can master the Drift, you'll be Ranger Ready.” A proud smile was on his face. “And help kick the kaiju all the way back to where they came from.”

* * *

The Gage twins answered a few more lingering questions before dismissing them for the term, congratulating them on passing into Term 3. Lelouch and Suzaku found themselves in the mess hall after say their farewells to Euphie later that evening. She was headed to Dallas for accelerated training into her role as a J-Tech Chief which mean extra curricular study. Cornelia had pulled some strings to get Euphie into an accelerated track, bypassing a year in which she would have been a basic technician before getting her Chief certification.

“You returning to Tokyo?” Lelouch asked as he absently picked at a bowl of fresh fruit, popping a blueberry into his mouth.

“I should make sure my Father is well,” Suzaku looked reluctant. “And...there's something I've been requested to do...” He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. “I heard that the kaiju blue's been contained, but it's made Tokyo Bay a wasteland. It's going to take them years to return the water to its natural state. Reconstruction's already begun which is always a good thing. While there were a few hundred that died, many on the coastal areas made it to the shelters.  _ Tohdoh-sensei  _ and _ Nagisa-sensei _ did well keeping casualties minimal.”

“How are they?”

“I don't know...actually. Last I heard, they were moved from the private ward at the hospital and are recovering somewhere.”

Lelouch nodded absently, picking at a strawberry and eating it along with another blueberry. Fresh fruit was harder now to get and this particular batch tasted a little sour – as if it was hastily packed instead of letting it ripen. He sighed and pushed the bowl towards Suzaku. “Want some?”

“Sure,” the Japanese teen picked at a couple of the other fruit and ate it before he wrinkled his nose. “Ugh, thanks Lelouch.”

Lelouch smiled slightly. “It's still fruit.”

“It's unripened and sour.”

“Still fruit.”

Suzaku sighed and dutifully finished the rest of the bowl. He grimaced the whole way before taking a gulp of water to wash the sour flavors down. “You going back to Hawai'i?”

“Yeah...”

Suzaku leaned back a little in his chair, a wistful smile on his face. “Must be lucky, more sun.”

“You want to come?” Lelouch offered.

Suzaku sighed. “I...shouldn't. I mean, it would be nice, but I have...a family obligation waiting for me when I return.”

“Family obligation?”

Suzaku hesitated. “It's...”

Lelouch waved a hand at him. “You don't need to tell me. It's fine.”

“Lelouch...”

Lelouch had been hoping he could entice Suzaku to come with him to Hawai'i before Term 3 started. It would have been nice to introduce him to Nunnally – even if he knew his little sister would be completely smug and insufferable in her victory and prediction for the whole week. But he was also beginning to understand that his partner took the obligation of family and fidelity of duty seriously. There was also the fact that technically Suzaku  _ should _ visit his father to make sure he was safe after Onibaba's attack. It was what the concept of a good son would do according to Asiatic cultures. He had suspected that it might have been the source of Suzaku's mood in the past week since he talked to Naoto and Kallen about cultural differences.

Since Suzaku told him about the 'difficult' relationship between himself and his Father, he was now reexamining all of the analysis the Japanese contingent of candidates had put forth about Suzaku's reasons for being here. Maybe they weren't so far off the mark – with the Japanese teen having a lot to live up to and to show a good face to the public. But to see his partner in a sullen mood, especially how frightened he had turned during Onibaba's attack – it was confusing.

“Do you want to go back?” he prodded.

Suzaku stared at him for a long moment before a smile that didn't reach his eyes appeared on his face. “...I do.”

“You don't look happy about it though.”

“It's my Father.”

Lelouch sighed and finally played his hand, sliding his PDA over. “If it's a question about fathers, I think you'd probably want to visit Hawai'i instead. Dr. Lightcap told me Tohdoh and Nagisa were moved to the substation a few days ago to continue to recover out of the public eye. Since Hong Kong is the only Shatterdome available that can accept them, its too far for the doctor to run her tests and make sure they recover without any issues. Pendragon won't even accept them since they're Japanese. Hawai'i is neutral ground even though it's technically within Britannia territory.”

Suzaku picked up the PDA shock all over his face. He looked up. “But-”

“Plus,” Lelouch looked at him. “I'd...like you to meet Nunnally.” It was time, he had decided. To entrust Suzaku with Nunnally. If they were going to be partners, he would trust no other if he died in this war. Suzaku would be able to protect her in his stead. Love her in his stead and cherish her like he had.

Suzaku closed his eyes for a moment, breathing out quietly before sucking a breath in and opening his eyes. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bouncing up and down. He nodded mostly to himself before looking back up. “All right. We leave tomorrow?”

“I'll book an extra ticket,” Lelouch accepted his PDA back and started to type on it, swapping out his own ticket to re-book for two.

“I'll...need to make a phone call once we land though...” Suzaku trailed off, still looking reluctant, but there was some relief in his expression. Lelouch finished typing and handed the PDA back.

“Two tickets to Oahu,” he presented and Suzaku smiled; it was the one that reached his eyes.


	24. Jaeger Academy - Interlude

“You're right, I needed this break,” Suzaku murmured as he stared up at the cloudless starry sky of Oahu. The Milky Way band that ran through the night covered at least a quarter of the sky. One couldn't tell what star belonged to what constellation with the sheer amount that showed due to the lack of light pollution.

“I didn't say that,” Lelouch sat one step down from the small set of stairs that led into a small backyard. A beautiful garden surrounded Victorian-style white tables and chairs. He sipped on the hot mug of chamomile tea Sayoko had brewed.

“You didn't have to,” Suzaku replied. “But I appreciate the intention anyways.”

“We just got our minds molded into putty for the last four weeks, watched a kaiju attack your home city, watched an incredible feat of piloting, but most of all, pass all of the tests to move onto Term 3. We  _ need _ a break.”

Suzaku chuckled, a low tired sound. “And it's only Day Two.”

“Stop counting the days. You make me nervous,” Lelouch groused, but not without malice.

“Sorry, old habits,” his friend apologized. “I used to count days to more...pleasant, I guess is a good word, things.”

“Pleasant?”

“Days when I'd be back in school, days where I'd be able to train with  _ Tohdoh-sensei _ . Days until the Academy. Just...days to get away from my Father.”

Lelouch craned his head up to look at Suzaku who was still staring up at the starry sky. “Overbearing?”

The Japanese teen shook his head. “No. Not abusive either...just...neglectful. He was there, coming home from the office to the family shrine each night, but just...not there.”

“Shrine?”

“Oh,” Suzaku tore his gaze from the stars and looked back down at him, a faint smile on his face. “I keep forgetting...”

He cleared his throat and Lelouch had a feeling that Suzaku had already told Euphie a lot of this. He didn't know whether or not he should have felt jealous that his half-sister knew so much more about Suzaku than he did. It also bothered him a little in the fact that  _ he _ was his partner, yet he knew the bare basics about his friend. Most of the time they spent their time reviewing the material or just sitting in silence after their grueling sessions in the Pons, unable to summon the strength to even talk. Granted, the silence was pleasant between them and they felt almost a sort  _ hum _ for the lack of a better word that seemingly buzzed between them, but that was about it.

“I told you my family is closely associated with the Sumeragis right?”

“One of the Five Houses that dates back to Sengoku era?”

“Yes,” Suzaku replied, “though our last names were interpreted differently in our language throughout the years. The characters for our name stayed mostly the same, but some times it was read different than Kururugi. We've kept this version for...I think since the Meiji Revolution era or somewhere about. Reinvention and all.”

“Imperialists?”

“Opposite. Shogunates,” Suzaku replied and Lelouch raised an eyebrow. He didn't really know much about Japanese history, but did study some of the bare basics after he started to partner with Suzaku if only to sate his own curiosity.

Suzaku laughed lightly. “Yeah, I know. Supporting an old system with a sole Emperor-like figure that has vassals, knights equivalent and all-”

“Eh,” Lelouch shrugged. He honestly had little to no opinion about history dating back so far and knew he couldn't quite make an informed decision about that particular piece of Japanese history without dissecting the nuances of Shogunate and Imperial forces. Not without making a fool of himself in front of Suzaku. “You'll explain the nuances some time, right?”

“Sure,” Suzaku nodded before looking back up at the sky. “Anyways, the Sumeragi bloodline extended way farther back than us. They were in the Hien period, a clan of onmitsu. Err...spiritualists and I guess for a somewhat good crossover term, magic users? Magicians? It's not quite...it doesn't translate well. But they are a strong family line that has produced spiritualists that have traditionally safe guarded Japan from foreigners, dark spiritual forces and anything and everything that wants to destroy us both physically and in the metaphysical way.

“So the Kururugi clan comes from a long samurai line and we've always been associated closely with the Sumeragis, protecting them from the physical harm while they protected us from the metaphysical harm. A yin to a yang, opposites united in harmony for the betterment of the country. Our line isn't strictly samurai though, we've had members in what you would think as a priesthood, supplication to our gods and spirits. It's why there's a lot of shrines in Japan. There always has to be a spiritual balance. The Kururugi shrine is like one of those places that keeps the balance and thus a Kururugi always resides in it to keep that balance.”

He looked back down and gestured with a hand. “My Father and at least two previous generations were born and raised there. I was born and raised there. We have our main residence nearby, but we're always expected to return and reside there for majority of our lives.”

“It...sounds...”

“You can say it, I don't mind,” Suzaku shrugged.

“...lonely.” Lelouch finished. He wanted to say it sounded like a prison, shackled to one place their whole lives, but he couldn't, not after hearing Suzaku's pride at explaining parts of his family history.

Suzaku had a half smile on his face. “Not what I expected, but almost exactly like what Euphie said too. It's a prison,” Suzaku shrugged again. “A set of obligations that shackle me to the traditions that don't advance both the nation and family. Most of my family don't feel this way, the urge to uphold traditions trumping the more...liberal ways. I want to try to bridge that, but I'm held back by stuff like that.

“If Britannia had invaded Japan, I think we'd probably be wiped out if we adhered to our traditions of honor, of sacrifice, to the last man. That's what my Father is. A stubborn, bull-headed man who can only think of traditions instead of progress. Who can only think that cooperation is supplication. That's what he thinks of the kaiju war and the neutrality between the countries in light of the PPDC formation. He think it's its an excuse for Britannia to exert its military might through false goodwill.”

“In ways, I can see why he thinks that,” Lelouch had to point out. “He may not be wrong.”

“I know,” Suzaku shook his head, “but at the expense of the people of Japan? My homeland? When I told him I got in, he wasn't overjoyed or proud of me. He asked what I can do to help advance Japan's cause inside the PPDC.”

Lelouch looked at his friend, seeing the crinkling of pain in the corner of Suzaku's eyes.

“All he sees now, all he sees around him is opponents or those he can use. Allies is a word I would not use for what my father sees. To him, even his own son, we are pawns to be used in his advancement of Japan's goals, of Japan's might.” His friend hunched forward a little, gaze pensive as he rested his mouth on his thumbs. He looked like he wanted to say more, but no words came out for a few minutes. The silence that fell between them was punctuated by the distant sounds of wild animals and insects around them.

“I initially applied because I wanted to prove to my father that we could cooperate with each other. That it's not an 'us versus them' mentality. That we are better than that after what I saw in Manila. But...after what he said to me in between Term 1 and 2...I don't know. Now, after Tokyo...”

Suzaku turned to look at him. “I made the mistake of telling him about Euphie. About how I hoped she was going to be a good partner, that she was not like other Britannians, not even the royal family.” His lips curled into a mirthless smile. “You know what he said to me? He said the best thing I could do was to get her with child and it would continue our bloodline.” Suzaku looked away again. “Not even asking about how she was different or what have you. Just, get her pregnant with no care about the political ramifications, especially since she's a Britannia or even a thought to who she is.”

Lelouch pursed his lips for a second before cracking. “Well...at least I don't get pregnant.”

Suzaku laughed, but it was bitter sounding. “Yeah...I guess there's that.” He sighed and rubbed his face for a second. “I called him after Tokyo, Cornelia let me use a special line since we're not supposed to have outside communication. I told him that it was over between Euphie and I, that I found someone new. I didn't mention your name or gender, but I think...I think my father could tell that it wasn't a female.”

“He's...opposed to your preferences?” Lelouch knew it was common in the Asian world, the stigma heavily associated with familial bonds and needs to continue family lines and preserve the family name. Arranged marriages usually happened, but more often than not, it had been 'highly encouraged' for the children of marriageable age to seek out appropriately gendered partners – sometimes vetted by the elders of the family themselves – to ensure that certain family names lived on. He heard rumors that the Chinese Federation was very notorious for bloodlines – the ruling Eunuchs puppeting their young Empress for a good match.

“I don't think he cares, honestly, probably because I do prefer men and women,” Suzaku shrugged. “I guess that's good of me. I had an Uncle whom I was close to growing up be shunned by his family for his preference of men, more specifically of a family enemy too.”

“Modern day Romeo and Juliet,” Lelouch murmured.

“He eventually disappeared, though I think he did it himself. Eloped or something happened to that relationship, but he's rarely talked about anymore in family gatherings, like they've struck his name off of the collective family memory or something like that. Pretty unusual because he was both the head of a main branch and because he was  _ known _ to those outside of the family, especially the government who contracted him.”

Suzaku looked up at the stars again. “You remember I told you that I needed to make a phone call once we landed, right?”

“Yes.”

“That was to apologize to my bride-to-be for leaving her at the altar,” Suzaku did not look at him.

Lelouch blinked. “...What?”

“During my call to my father, he spouted something about bloodlines and crassly asked if I got Euphie with child yet even though he's probably read through the handbook for the Academy. When I said no, he said that he was going to finalize the arrangements to ensure that the Kururugi line continues in light of what's happened to Tokyo. I was supposed to be married off...” Suzaku glanced down at his watch, “ah...about...an hour ago Tokyo time?”

Lelouch knew if he had not grown up embroiled in Britannian royal family politics, he probably would have been surprised by Suzaku's predicament and apparent rebellion. He might have even been more sympathetic. But all he did was nod and match Suzaku's mirthless smile as he finally turned to look at him.

“I figured you're not surprised,” his friend shook his head.

“No,” Lelouch replied with the bluntness of an anvil. “But it does explain your attitude during the week. I thought it was something to do with Tokyo and chalked it up to Onibaba. You were pretty out of it during the attack.”

“Thanks for not expressing baseless platitudes,” Suzaku looked grateful.

“Honestly, its nice to know that Britannia isn't the only family that has fucked up politics and shit like this,” Lelouch admitted.

Suzaku cracked a genuine smile and laughed into his hand. Lelouch just took another sip of his tea.

“Thanks for letting me rant too.”

“That's what friends are for,” Lelouch nodded. “So, how long was the engagement?”

“Hmm?” Suzaku looked thoughtful. “Oh, about...fourteen years, I think.” He glanced at Lelouch. “You had one?”

“More or less. Didn't get formalized, but it's what the Gages said about Cornelia is true too. Applied to myself. Maybe not to Nunnally yet, but her injuries killed her chances.” He smiled a little, taking another sip of his tea.

“Silver linings?”

“Silver linings,” he replied.

“Part of the reason why you disowned and disinherited yourself?”

“You saw the video?”

Suzaku nodded. “Wanted to know more about you back then in relation to Euphie.”

Lelouch had been warned by Sayoko when they landed two days ago that an anonymous video had been circulating in recent weeks since the beginning of Term 2. Lelouch had a feeling that Cornelia, or one of his other siblings who had been at Menra Villa might have leaked such a thing. He didn't discount the fact that Euphie might have for some kind of familial pride and obligation, but he also knew that she would have never said a word about his presence in the Academy. Cornelia, on the other hand, no matter how changed she might appear to be – was still entrenched in the politics of the Britannian royal family.

It was grainy, taken from a distance, but the words had been unmistakable as had the Emperor's reply. Lelouch had tried to watch it, but without sound as he knew each and every word along with each and every gesture. Nunnally had definitely watched it – or rather heard it – as she had simply greeted him with a hug and a whispered 'I love you' which had been uncharacteristic of all of her other greetings.

“Part of it, but yeah, it's the gist. Made me realize that the Emperor saw Nunnally and myself as nothing but pawns. He didn't even love my mother enough to order her to not go into combat nor did he do much of anything during that assassination attempt when I was ten. I knew we were favorites of his growing up – he made occasional visits and I knew our mother was a favorite concubine of his because of her title of Empress which was never given to any of his other consorts. But, I guess to him, we were pawns in the long run, groomed for whatever he wanted to use us for.”

Lelouch set his mug to the side and rested his chin on the palm of his hands as he brought his legs up. “I'd probably have been married off eventually. If not to Euphie – her mother came from a family that was an economic powerhouse, but to one of the warring countries or even used as a hostage to the country.”

“Like Japan?”

“Probably. Or to the Chinese Federation. Which ever one Britannia wanted to conquer first. Maybe Japan now that I think about it. Your sakuradite deposits would have enriched Britannia that much more, be that much stronger.” He raised an eyebrow and glanced up at his friend. “Who knows, you might have been obligated to break your engagement to your fiancee and married to Nunnally if that came true.”

“Or my father I suppose,” Suzaku pondered with an absent finger tapping his lip. “My mother died when I was young. It would have been a political match.” They both quieted for a moment as they tried to imagine Nunnally and Genbu in a marriage contract.

“Age difference makes my stomach churn,” Lelouch admitted and even Suzaku looked ill at that prospect. They both took one look at each other's expressions before small chuckles erupted between them. It felt good to laugh about such serious topics when both of them had an understanding of what made it up.

“ _ Lelouch-sama _ , please pardon my interruption.” They both turned to see Sayoko stopping at the threshold to the patio, her hands folded demurely in front of her. “  _ Suzaku-sama,  _ I've moved your room to the master annex for the rest of the week. The room has been prepared for the evening.”

“Thank you  _ Sayoko-san _ ,” Suzaku nodded once. “I don't mean to trouble you-”

“It is of no consequence. I am always happy to be of service to  _ Lelouch-sama's _ dear friend,” she took a step back and gestured for Suzaku to enter the villa once more.

“Yeah, we should be getting some sleep. Got a visit tomorrow,” Lelouch stood up, grabbing his mug and stretched. He glanced at his watch. It was pretty late already.

“Visit? Tohdoh and Nagisa?”

Lelouch smiled and nodded. Suzaku's expression could not be more excited and it warmed him. He waved his friend to proceed in, hefting his mug to tell him that he needed to put it in the sink.

“Good night then, Lelouch,” his friend nodded at him. “And thank you again, for this,” he gestured all around him. “And for allowing me to stay.”

“Go get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning, okay?”

“Second room down the main hallway to your left,” Sayoko called to Suzaku as he left and Lelouch raised an eyebrow at the maid.

“Sayoko,” he started in a low tone. “You gave him the adjacent connecting room to the master?” It was the room right next to his. It used to be Nunnally's in case he needed to check on her during the night when she had been still feeling the effects of kaiju blue, but once she was better, she moved to the room across from the master bedroom where there was more sunlight and had a beautiful view of the sloping rise of a volcano in the distance.

“Was I not supposed to?” Sayoko blinked at him and Lelouch narrowed his eyes. One of the things he learned was that Sayoko was true to her training as a ninjutsu master. Quite prone to trickster methods, but in a very elegant and subtle way that he still couldn't counter with his own methods. “The other guest room is downstairs near near the entrance. I would have thought  _ Suzaku-sama _ would have gotten a better sleep in the master annex.”

The first night, Suzaku had slept in that particular room with nary a complaint, but Nunnally had accidentally woken him up with a start by bumping into the frame of the main door during her morning routine of picking up the previous day's mail. Apologies had been given during breakfast, with Nunnally suggesting that they move Suzaku to the main annex. Suzaku had demurred, but now it seemed the issue was for naught.

“Hmph,” he couldn't fault her logic, but still shot her a narrow-eyed look as he walked in and headed to the kitchen to empty his mug and place it in the dishwasher. Sayoko followed him in, locking the patio door for the evening and closing the blinds before securing the premises with the internal security system.

“ _ Lelouch-sama _ , may I also ask you a favor?”

“What is it?”

“I apologize for not giving you enough notice, but I have been requested to attend to a delicate matter that has come up in the last day or so and would like to leave the island tomorrow for a few days. I will return before you and  _ Suzaku-sama _ are to leave for Term 3,” Sayoko sounded apologetic. “I know you have a visit-”

“Don't worry about it. Nunnally can take care of herself for a couple of hours while I drive Suzaku there. I'll return and wait for him to call for a pick up. Ashford stuff?”

“I am sorry,  _ Lelouch-sama, _ ” Sayoko looked apologetic. “I truly-”

“I said don't worry about it. The Ashfords and myself are very lucky to have you dedicated to our families in such a way,” Lelouch set the mug down and wiped his hands clean. “Have a safe flight and we'll see you when you return.”

“Yes sir,” Sayoko's relief was visible in the way she bowed to him. “Thank you for your kindness.”

“Sayoko,” Lelouch knew it was an old song and dance, but he also knew that the maid did not get to hear it often enough – at least in his opinion, “It's not kindness from me. Nunnally and I have not done anything to deserve  _ your _ kindness. This is the least we can do and the least I can do for you to take care of my sister without any thought to yourself or to your own needs. Whatever I can do in my power, you have just but name it.”

He gave her one long look before turning and leaving the kitchen, headed up to his room. He honestly hoped that Sayoko would one day realize that she was truly appreciated and not be so demure and humble about it.

* * *

Lelouch drove Sayoko to the airport the next day with Suzaku tagging along partially because he wanted to see the scenic drive once more, but also because they were headed to the Oahu K-Watch substation afterwards. The substation was hidden from any sort of view from the roads going into it. It was only the appearance of an electrified fence and presence of a well-fortified guard station that Lelouch knew they were in the right place. They were stopped and the two of them mentioned Dr. Lightcap's name. She confirmed their presence and they were let in with visitor badges.

The blonde-haired woman met them further in, a cheerful smile on her face, her glasses fogging up from the humidity. Lelouch figured there was some good air conditioning inside the building. His villa was adequate, but since it had been built into an earthen mound, they did not need much air conditioning as many of the more modern buildings did on the island.

The doctor led them through a series of maze-like hallways before arriving at a room with a nondescript looking dark grey door. The corridor looked quite mundane too, off-white walls and several grey doors. One couldn't tell what kind of facility the place at first glance – which Lelouch thought was probably the reason why it had been built the way it had in the first place. Lightcap knocked on the door before opening it, revealing a rather homely looking studio suite of sorts. A small kitchen was in the far right corner with a divider breaking up both the bedroom and couch and living section of the place. However, there were a lot of equipment and wires hooked up to several machines all over the place.

Lelouch didn't know what they were for, but he suppose it was something related to Pons or Drifting technology. He peered over the mound of equipment to see both Nagisa and Tohdoh sitting at the small dining table in the midst of eating what Lelouch had come to know as a very traditional Japanese morning breakfast. The cooks at the Academy served similar fare for all of the countries that were involved in the PPDC, allowing each of the candidates to enjoy some home comfort while away.

“Suzaku...Lelouch...” Tohdoh murmured as they walked in with Dr. Lightcap. He looked rather shocked to see them.

“Surprise!” Dr. Lightcap grinned as she made her way over, squeezing Nagisa's shoulder and pecking Tohdoh on the cheek. Lelouch was rather surprised at the intimately friendly gesture from the doctor, but realized it was probably more than likely a holdover from their Academy days. After all, the three before them were the pioneers of Drift technology.

“Marshal, Instructor,” Lelouch greeted behind as he stepped in.

“ _ Tohdoh-sensei, Nagisa-san _ ,” Suzaku bowed slightly. “ _ I'm terribly sorry for the interruption and surprise visit. We thought you were warned of our arrival in advance. _ ”

“ _ It's all right Suzaku, please, come in. I will set more plates- _ ”

“ _ No thank you Nagisa-san. We have eaten already and would only like tea if you will? _ ” Suzaku immediately took his footwear off and stepped in to help Nagisa who had risen from her seat.

Lelouch had a slight moment of panic as he stared at his own footwear before hastily backing up to the door and shedding the shoes. He heard a small snort of laughter that sounded distinctly feminine before looking back up to see Nagisa covering her smile. Dr. Lightcap had apparently shed her shoes even without asking, though now she padded around in what looked like slippers. He glanced back at the door, but didn't see anymore.

“Sorry...we didn't realize we'd be having more than one guest while we're recovering here,” Nagisa apologized as she set out the fresh hot pot of tea. There were already leaves in it, steeping a dark rusty orange-brown color. “Otherwise, we'd would have gotten more _ uwabaki _ , indoor slippers.”

“It's fine. I'm used to running about without slippers, plus it may be easier for Lelouch to move around without them at the moment. They tend to be slippery if you're not used to small steps,” Suzaku shook his head before grinning up at Lelouch. “Can you stay a few or do you need to go back?”

“I can stay,” Lelouch felt a little caught off guard at the the whirlwind of information and conversation he had just been thrust into, but managed to steel himself and walk over to the small table. “Though just for a few...sorry.”

“Previous commitment?

“Yes,” Lelouch replied easily to Tohdoh's query. It was an awkward fit at the small table for the five of the. Lelouch found himself nearly shoulder to shoulder, sandwiched between Suzaku and Nagisa. Dr. Lightcap was opposite of them, already helping herself to some of the breakfast fare.

A small cup of tea, in a small bowl-shaped cup the size of his palm if he curled it, was set in front him and another in front of Suzaku. It held some of the darkly steeped tea. He had seen the cup in the mess hall and knew that it was a traditional tea cup used a majority of the Asian countries, but especially the Chinese and Japanese. He deftly picked it up, mimicking those around him and sipped it.

It was very bitter, but there was a hint of sweet aftertaste to it.

“Oolong?” Suzaku guessed.

“Dr. Lightcap found it at the local store here yesterday. It's been a while since we've had it. Hong Kong and the rest of China are rationing that type of tea,” Nagisa smiled. “I see you still remember your tea lessons.”

“I had a good teacher,” Suzaku took another sip. Lelouch didn't know if he really wanted to continue to drink the bitter liquid which also apparently wasn't filtered like Britannian tea usually was. However, he gamely took another sip as not to offend their hosts.

“ _ He doesn't like it _ ,” Tohdoh muttered mostly under his breath and Lelouch glanced at the Marshal.

“ _ Too bitter _ ,” he admitted, making all three adults jump a little.

“ _ Shit, I forgot- _ ”

Suzaku snickered next to Lelouch and he found himself also smiling as Nagisa slapped her forehead with her palm. “I'm sorry,” she apologized, “I honestly only thought you had learned that particular phrase from Ohgi or someone. I didn't-”

“ _ Clever trick _ ,” Dr. Lightcap murmured with a similar accented Japanese as Lelouch had. “ _ Got one up on you...again, Team Coyote... _ ”

Tohdoh and Nagisa both sent death glares at the doctor who smiled serenely and innocently sipped her own tea. No one at the table was fooled for a second by her act.

“So, we take it with the two of you here, you will be heading back in a few days for start of Term 3?” Nagisa started quietly.

“Yes ma'am,” Lelouch nodded once. He was a little surprised at how casual his former Instructor sounded outside of the Academy. He was so used to her silence looks and general discipline. He wasn't surprised that Tohdoh was recalcitrant, so it somewhat soothed his ruffled feathers.

“Congratulations,” Tohdoh nodded once after swallowing some small food and setting both his bowl of rice porridge and chopsticks down. “Though given the fact that you're here Suzaku...I thought-”

Suzaku coughed into his tea cup before looking down at it. “ _ I called her two days ago. _ ”

Lelouch's eyes widened a little as he realized he was about step into what was more than likely a very private conversation. Considering all he knew between Tohdoh and Suzaku and the fact that Suzaku pretty much idolized the Marshal as a father-figure, it stood to reason that Nagisa factored somewhere in there too since she and Tohdoh were Drift partners. He cleared his throat hastily and stood up.

“Erm...I think I'll take my leave. Thank you for your hospitality. Uh-” He shot a look at Dr. Lightcap who had a similar expression on her face and she nodded vigorously before setting her own bowl and set of chopsticks down.

“Yes, yes, I'll show you the way out. It's definitely a maze here-”

“Suzaku, uh, give me a call when you're done here. Marshal, Instructor, its good to see both of you and that you're doing well after Onibaba. I'll talk to you later,” Lelouch said hastily before he hurried over to the door and slipped his shoes on and was out the door even before Dr. Lightcap could follow him. He heard the door open and slam shut behind him.

“Whew,” the doctor ran a hand through her blond hair. “Thank you for providing the excuse Lamperouge.”

Lelouch let out a relieved laugh as he and the doctor walked down the maze of halls back to the front of the building where he had parked. “Don't mention it. I know some of the details but I'm not sure if you know that Suzaku-”

“I know,” Lightcap replied, “Tohdoh can't keep fussing over him. I keep telling him to not shelter him and so does Nagisa, but he doesn't want to listen. He loves the boy like his very own even though there's no blood relation between them.” She smiled wistfully. “When the First Class, as we call ourselves, were all experimenting and testing, Tohdoh would not shut up about Suzaku. Didn't quite call him by name, but it was easy to see that he knew this would be an opportunity for the boy to get out of the shadow of his real father.”

“Tohdoh pushed Suzaku to enlist?”

“I don't know,” Lightcap shook her head. “But he is so proud that he's gotten this far and is coming into his own. He doesn't have any lofty expectations for Suzaku, but just wants him to choose something of his own volition, not to do it because it is for his family or for obligations or whatever strange honor that drives the Japanese.”

“I think Suzaku might think the opposite,” Lelouch pointed out.

“I think so too, which is also why Tohdoh and Nagisa left after Term 1 and let Cornelia and Guilford take over. They didn't want Suzaku to think he had an obligation to continue to prove himself while they were there. In a way, they were like parents letting a child grow into their own.”

Lelouch could not help the small flare of jealousy at such a sentiment. But he pushed it aside. He couldn't let it affect his Drift with Suzaku and he couldn't let such a small thing affect the growing friendship and understanding he had with the young man.

“Well,” Dr. Lightcap stopped by the front door and held it open. “I think this is it. I take it you're coming back later today to pick Suzaku up?”

“Yeah, whenever he's done with his visit,” Lelouch pointed to his cell. “He's got my number.”

“All right. I'll let the gate guards know you'll be returning today. Are you sure you can't stay any longer?”

“No,” Lelouch knew that Nunnally was more than likely still fine, quite independent even though she was blind and crippled, but he also wanted to spend some quality time with her without anyone else around. “But I guess if Suzaku wants, we can visit some more before we leave?”

“Yep, no problem. You guys on the Saturday flight out?”

“Yeah,” Lelouch nodded. “Set to arrive early Sunday morning in Anchorage and then the hopper flight to the island, right?”

“Yep...that one I'd like to call murder in the air. Ugh. I hate red-eyes,” the doctor groused. “It shouldn't be a problem. Just check in at the front gate and say you're with me like you did today.”

“Thank you Dr. Lightcap,” Lelouch nodded before waving a goodbye to her.

* * *

Unlike the week between Term 1 and 2, Lelouch suddenly found himself not wanting to leave the island he called home. It seemed Suzaku was reluctant too, the last few days of his visit establishing a routine of visiting the recovering Coyote Tango pilots and then spending the afternoons on the beach or hiking trails with him and Nunnally. Lelouch found out that it would be at least a month or two for the two pilots to recover. He felt like Dr. Lightcap wasn't telling him something, but left it at that and wished the two well in their recovery. The evening was subjected to dinner cooked by Lelouch or seafood bakes from the afternoon's chosen activity. It was almost as if they were not training up for war and enjoying themselves like three teenagers.

Sayoko returned late Friday night with apologies for her delay, but Lelouch didn't mind. It had been a long time since he had seen Nunnally have so much fun and was glad that she approved his choice of a Drift partner. She had even managed to wrap Suzaku around her little finger. He gallantly did anything and everything she asked of him. Lelouch muttered more than once under his breath that Nunnally was way worse than Euphie with her manipulation, but even he didn't have the heart to tell her to stop when it was rather innocent.

The afternoon before Sayoko returned had been spent on with the three of them lying on the beach near the property, the same one that they had met when they were fourteen. However, the circumstances were much better with him and Suzaku somewhat dozing under the shade of the palm trees and Nunnally building an intricate moat to house her simple three bucket-full sandcastle. Suzaku occasionally left the confines of the shade to help collect seashells, stones and some washed up kelp and seaweed to decorate her construction work.

Lelouch stayed, mostly because the sun was at its zenith, but also, he had to admit, he was getting a very nice view of Suzaku's lean and muscular form as he went about helping Nunnally. Granted, all of them had similar builds, mostly lean muscle instead of bulked-up forms, coming out of the Jaeger Academy, but Lelouch couldn't help but admire the physique of what was probably 2016-A's strongest and most versatile fighter. And idle thought strayed through his mind: that he could potentially be falling into lust with Suzaku very fast, but he also was aware that part of it was due to the warnings and implications of what the Gage twins had said.

There was no definitive evidence that non-sibling Drift pairs always ended up together, but the act of Drifting together was a singularly intimate experience whether lust or urges came with it. They were living in each other's heads. And like the Gages and Cornelia said, it was natural to recoil. If if was natural, the question was, how was it to embrace it? To accept it and move on – that was the truth of Drifting. Accepting your partner and accepting yourself. To be truthful to one's self.

And if Lelouch was being truthful – Suzaku, at this very moment, looked like a bronzed God of the old Greek philosophy. Or in layman's terms, he was hot.

Lelouch knew his own self and lack of preferences along with a disinterest in sex. He had been very comfortable in his own skin for a long time. He just accepted it as it was, even contrary to some of those who wished to label him. It was his own private business and no one else need to know. He was also well aware that just a little over a month ago, he had become friends and learned he was Drift compatible with Suzaku. And before that, was irritated and annoyed by him – thinking of him as someone not worthy of the attention he had apparently been putting on him.

Intellectually, Suzaku stimulated the part of him that yearned for a companion that would satisfy, challenge and accepted him in such a short time. Physically...that was where his intellect was attempting to come to terms with the hormonal aspects of what he knew was a growing attraction to his partner and made him hesitant. He really did not want to ruin his friendship with Suzaku just because he suddenly had a hard on for him. He didn't want to think that his growing attraction for Suzaku might have been potentially fueled by the very source since Suzaku had sexual experience. It was a long-shot thought since they hadn't done a full-Drift. But he did know that if his feelings were not reciprocated, it  _ would _ kill a lot of the momentum of Drifting that they had accomplished.

But he also knew based on the Gage twins' warning, all of this jumbled feelings he was having right now – would be blown wide open once they started doing full Drifts. Which was in a few days. He could hope that maybe they chased a bad RABIT, but if what the Gages said were true – and he had no doubt that they were telling the truth – this would be the first thing Suzaku would feel in the damn Drift.

He sighed, closing his eyes for a few minutes and his breath evening out. A little over five weeks and now this...

“Hey...” Suzaku sounded winded as he trudged back up and Lelouch heard a soft thunk near him. He cracked open an eye under his sunglasses. His friend looked both damp and winded.

“What did you do? I thought you were getting seashells?” He raised his head a little to still see Nunnally playing close to the shore as she continued to build her sandcastle. However, she was now lying on her stomach, her tankini top clearly covered in wet sand. The ocean waves were lapping all the way up to her thighs now.

“She asked me to help 'mermaid her' as she calls it,” Suzaku replied a little breathless.

“The waves are pretty strong-”

“She's got a really strong grip,” Suzaku shook his head, “I think she'll be fine for the next fifteen or twenty minutes. She told me that she's been self-navigating all over the island dirt paths with her wheelchair and Sayoko helping her from time to time. Hence her arm muscles.”

He eyed both his friend and Nunnally dubiously before shrugging. “All right...I guess.” He reached over to the cooler they had lugged to the beach and tossed him a water bottle.

“Thanks,” Suzaku unscrewed the cap and drank deeply.

Lelouch shook his head. “Take a quick nap. I can watch her for now.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” he pushed himself up from the towel and hunched forward, stretching his arms at the same time. He glanced back to see Suzaku giving him a grin before he set the water bottle to the side and stretched out, lacing his arms in the back of his head.

“Thanks, Lelouch, you're the best,” Suzaku closed his eyes and seconds later, was snoring.

Lelouch could not help but smile fondly at his sleeping friend. Attracted or not he supposed he would have to wait and see what the future resulted in.


	25. Jaeger Academy - Term 3 - Part I

Day One orientation of Term 3 by the Gage twins was similar to all of the other Day One orientations, but the major difference was everyone in their class, including those still at the Academy under different studies, were given access to either single or double-bed dorm rooms if they wished instead of mass bunking. They learned it was because the class of 2016-B would start on June 21 st , which put their Term 3 at the midpoint to the incoming class.

The rules of fraternization were also relaxed, though the Gage twins said that they would not tolerate any reports of sexual harassment nor use of illicit drugs or booze for coercion. They stated that the rules were relaxed because all those who passed from Term 2 into Term 3 were going to graduate as PPDC officers and from here on out would be treated as if they were already officers.

This also meant that they were free to go into the nearby town during breaks and not confined to the Academy grounds. A lot more degree of freedom was given to Term 3 students, though the rule of no fights between the classmates was allowed unless strictly in the Kwoon. It was more to contain the spectacle than to actually prevent fights. The motto for that was 'fight it out, shake hands, and move on.' There would be zero tolerance for any type of shenanigans that marked Term 1.

Lelouch had been pondering whether to opt for a single or double, when Suzaku suggested a double for the sheer fact that if full Drifting was as disorienting as the Gages had said at first, they would probably need to help each other find their way back to the room and so it would save them time. It was a good plan, but Suzaku also added in that Lelouch would more than likely need a human alarm clock considering the stories he heard from Rivalz about getting him up in the morning for calisthenics.

He nearly threw his duffel bag at his friend's face for that remark.

They found their assigned double-bunk room and Lelouch claimed the top bunk easily. Suzaku merely gave him a look before claiming the bottom. He had a funny feeling that his friend was planning something. But there wasn't much to contemplate as they were unceremoniously swept into their new schedules.

Which Lelouch immediately  _ hated _ with a passion. He, Suzaku, Kallen, Naoto, Jeremiah and Villetta had been each assigned a personal Psych Analyst and an officer for supervisory purposes. He had not quite minded the ones assigned during Term 2, easily able to pick apart their prodding questions with smart mouth answers and deflection. But apparently these Psych Analysts were determined to rehash everything they knew about his life and what as on his file.

It also didn't help that the first question out of his Analyst's mouth was “How do you feel about the moniker you were given, The Exiled Prince” and it went downhill from there.

While the sessions were private and in a room that was swept for bugs – the supervisory officer held out a bug diffuser that Lelouch recognized as one similarly used by Schneizel at times – he really did not like anyone poking and prodding at his history and background. The Analyst tried her best to explain that every single Ranger candidate went through this – which didn't quite comfort him, but at least gave him a sense of where he stood – but it was also to prepare himself for what would come in the Drift.

Full Drifting would being at the end of the week.

Then there were also puzzles. They had been introduced to painfully simple puzzles that Lelouch couldn't quite understand what they were doing with them until Dr. Lightcap said that the partners needed to finish them at the exactly same time. He and Suzaku had glanced at each other before trying the first one – to a giant buzzer that startled them out of their chairs when Lelouch finished first and Suzaku a second later. The doctor merely smiled sweetly at them and told them to try again.

The second time around, Lelouch started talking to Suzaku about his steps and Suzaku responded, but they still finished within half a second of each other, earning the giant loud buzzer. They both frowned and looked at each other before adjusting their positions to sit across from each other and worked the puzzle again, this time with both taking cues from one another after each move. When it came to the last move, they counted down together and flipped the last needed piece – which earned them nothing but silence.

Dr. Lightcap had grinned broadly and declared them able to continue onto the next puzzle which made both of them shoot glares at her. She merely laughed and waved at them from where she stood behind the observation window. By the end of the first day, they had completed several puzzles flawlessly.

The next day, they were given harder ones, which they completed, but not without several tries. Oddly, the day after that, they went back to the first series of puzzles, but both of them finished each puzzle with the barest grunt of acknowledgment or in complete silence and visual cues. It was only the day before they were to do the full Drift that Lelouch finally understood the methodology when they were handed the series of harder puzzles and completed them flawlessly by just talking it out with Suzaku in return.

Drift pilots could communicate so well with each other that silent glances and use of body language was crucial, but also talking out loud helped solved new puzzles, therefore new experiences. When Suzaku and Lelouch offered up those theories, Dr. Lightcap had proudly nodded and said that during battle, there would be times when they would have to react on instinct, having seen a problem before or understood what certain systems did and react to it without communicating. Then when situations arose that they weren't familiar with, the first thing they needed to do was to talk to each other or decide by silent agreement posit the problem to their technical crews.

They headed into Friday, Week 1, Term 3 nervous and excited for their first full Drift.

* * *

Lelouch eyed the individual buckets next to each rig in the full-input simulator. He looked back at the observation window only to also see Suzaku giving Dr. Lightcap and the Gage twins a dubious look.

“Err...”

“Trust us,” one of the twins' voice piped through the speakers. “You'll need it.”

Lelouch only raised an elegant eyebrow and glanced at Suzaku before they both shrugged and made for the rigs – only to stop once more as they realized they both were aiming for the rig that was clearly the right hemisphere position. They stopped and stared at each other. This was getting to be ridiculous. First during the sync testing and now-

There was the faint 'oh for the love of God, not again' heard over the speakers that sounded suspiciously like Dr. Lightcap, but it was quickly replaced as one of the twins cleared their throat.

“Erm...I guess, not playing favorites, but Lelouch, take the right, Suzaku, take the left. We'll switch up for the next time. Yeah...we'll do that.”

Lelouch sighed before calling up to them as the technicians came in and helped them into their respective sides. “Has this ever happened before?”

“...No?” was the response from a twin.

“It's normally obvious that the older more senior pilot would get to be the dominant right hemisphere, but since you're the first civilian class...and well, also the first ones to be in here, we haven't noticed it.”

“Can we ask about the other two pairs?” Suzaku asked.

“Well, they're more obvious about it. Naoto is the right hemisphere, Kallen always defers to him. Jeremiah is Villetta's senior, so...there's that.”

They both sighed and glanced at each other. It was definitely something they had to discuss after the tests and before they even considered getting into the cockpit of a Jaeger. Lelouch turned his focus back to the blank white wall in front of him as the technicians finish securing them and left the room. The pons cap felt odd on his head, but then again, so did the circuitry suit. It was like wearing a second layer of skin, leaving him feeling a little naked even though he clearly wasn't actually naked. He supposed it was the material itself and briefly wondered if there was a guide for it for him to study it.

“Initiating neural handshake in five...four...three-”

This was it.

“Two...one-”

Reality dissolved, stretched and became liquid around Lelouch. He felt like he was floating-

_Wow...it feels-_

He flinched-no, they flinched and something twitched in the rig. He glanced-they glanced at the hand, but it looked fine-

_Maybe a nervous reaction?_

It sounded like his own voice, but then a double echo of sorts-

_Whoa, so weird. What the-_

_A chessboard, the clattering of pieces onto the ground- angry eyes- “You're mean!”_

_Meanmeanmeanmean_

“ _Ow!” The same cry was echoed next to him and he-they looked up to see-_

_Those are pretty eyes. Like amethysts... LoveaffectionIcan't-it'stoofasttoofastbut-_

_Suzaku smiled, a small bright one that went into his eyes, turning them into emerald sparkles. It stirred something-_

“I've got you...I've always got you-”  _ ItswarmhereI'm protectedIdon'twantto-toofasttoofast-thankyouforlettingmecry-letmebemyself---fiveweeks _

“Suzaku, Lelouch? Focus! Focus on my voice!”

Lelouch gasped as the room reformed around his eyes. He heard the harsh breath next to him before a gagging cough-he  _ felt _ the cough and blinked several times. He focused on the whiteness in front of him, the dots. Oh, yeah. They were-

_ Full simulation _ , the thought floated between him- Him and Suzaku. That was it. Him and Suzaku. He was Lelouch-and...Suzaku-they-

“All right,” Dr. Lightcap. That was her name. Dr. Lightcap and she was speaking to them as he strained to hear her.

“All right,” she said, a disorienting double echo, but it was nothing they handled before. They did this all through Term 2. Double echoes, soon turns into one echo.  _ Yeah, one voice _ the the thought floated before them. “That's it, listen to my voice. You're doing fine Suzaku. You're doing fine Lelouch. Keep it up.”

“We're okay...”

_We'reokay,we'reokayokayokay_

Lelouch blinked then turned to his left, feeling like he had drank too much alcohol and saw Suzaku turned.

_ His eyes are beautiful _ ...

“We're okay?” he asked, feeling like he was talking under water.

“Y-Yeah...” Suzaku sounded drunk and Lelouch suddenly laughed.

He could feel, hear the laughter like a demented double echo, but it cheered Suzaku as a grin flashed across his face. He knew the grin.

_It was a bright smile that went to his eyes._

Something suddenly winked into existence in front of them and the sluggishly turned to see-  _ Oh...puzzles _ , their mind supplemented. They knew what to do. This one was easy at least...wait.

_Remember the tail chases the r of the rat-_

_And the t twists into-what?_

_T twisting into the u to follow the line-_

They knew this one...they could do it. But with the edges of their vision floating faces, voices, some of them he recognized, some he didn't-or rather they didn't-

“ _Father, I've returned for the week,” he presented himself formally with a stiff bow in front of the desk his father occupied. He ached all over, his bruises and wounds making it hard for him to keep upright. But it had been worth it to see the smile of pride on Tohdoh-sensei's face, that he had outsmarted him in a physical battle of wits. As much as he was ambivalent about it, he had to thank the very aloof and downright unfriendly Britannian teen for providing the means of using every single thing he had to his advantage – in this case, the distraction of Cornelia li Britannia's clapping..._

He reeled, that actually hurt. The pain of being slammed or twisted into the mats-

_He waited until General li Britannia had left, closing the door behind her before he dialed the special number and punched in the special codes that she had given to him. It took three rings before the gruff voice answered._

“ _Yes?”_

_He wanted to cry in relief, but at the same time, knew he couldn't show any weakness in front of Genbu Kururugi. “I'm glad you are well,” he said quietly._

“ _Oh. You,” his father's voice was flat. “Yes, I am fine. Kirihara is fine as are the others including your fiancee. We evacuated to the shrine-”_

“ _But-”_

“ _And Tohdoh did his job,” Genbu cut him off ruthlessly. “So there was little to no need to evacuate the Diet in the first place.”_

“ _F-Father, the kaiju, it was next to Tokyo Tower-”_

“ _And it was stopped. End of story. Now we begin the cleanup of this...mess.”_

_ He ran a hand down the front of his face, resisting the urge to scream both in frustration and in despair. His father was acting like he wasn't so close to death! And even had to evacuate the Diet under Tohdoh's orders too! And now, he sounded like the kaiju blood that had spilled everywhere, never mind the hulking carcass of the kaiju itself, was now going to be a semi-permanent structure next to Tokyo Tower, disrupting hundreds of thousands of lives. It sounded  _ inconvenient _ to Genbu Kururugi. He bit the inside of his cheek and refused to give into the anger that had swelled in him at the heartless way his father was stating things. _

“ _Anything else?” The request barked like an order._

“ _No...sir,” he replied._

“ _Is the girl pregnant yet?”_

_He blinked, startled and stared at the phone, affronted. He placed it back against his ear and cheek. “Father, the code of conduct- and also the fact that I barely know her-”_

“ _So? You do not need to know her in order to get her with child. This attack has put into stark light the future of our bloodline.”_

“ _Father-” he started again. “She's a royal Princess! They have protocols-”_

“ _Hmph,” Genbu scoffed. “Still too soft I see. Too weak to take that step.”_

_ He was silent for a few seconds, the effort to contain the sudden fury and indignation that swelled in him great. _

“ _What you're saying is rape,” he finally forced out tightly. He did not need to know that whatever weapon used against Soresi was a weapon of last resort. Not after Euphie had showed it to him without a single word as they had been trying to build up their sync ratios. She only mentioned it was a weapon given to females of the Britannian royal line._

“ _That is not what I'm saying. That is what_ you're _ saying. You, coloring every action with your own sense of justification and views instead of seeing the world as it is. You're still so naive.” _

_ He clamped his mouth shut, fighting against the rage that threatened to spill over. There was no way he could tell his father now about  _ him. _ He needed time to prepare, to protect  _ him _ from his father, from anything that could harm  _ him _ because- _

“ _Since you will not do your duty or find yourself unable to, when you return after the term is done, you will be immediately wedded to the Sumeragi. Then you_ will _ do your duty to your family and to your household. The bloodline must be preserved for the sake of this war if you are to find yourself fighting in it.” _

_His eyes popped open in shock. He thought that particular arrangement had all but been null and voided when he joined the Ranger Academy. Even the Sumeragi were lukewarm when told and perhaps relieved. But for his father to force the issue-_

A roar echoed in Lelouch's ear, burning his own throat. He screamed- No that was Suzaku as the world returned to the whiteness of the full simulator room. He could feel himself sagging in the rig- Again, it was Suzaku sagging, anger and rage spent-

“We're releasing the handshake- Three, two one- Disengaged.”

Lelouch found himself suddenly back in his own head and his own body and it took him a moment to orient himself before he suddenly found himself sliding out of the rig into a boneless heap-

The sound of someone throwing up made him blearily look to see Suzaku holding bucket next to his rig like his life depended on it. A distant part of his mind registered that he now knew what it was for while the other part of him could not stop staring at Suzaku's trembling form. He reached out-half-crawled-

_ It's okay, I got you...I've always got you _ ...

He shuddered as he heard his own voice echoing in his head like a stereo system. Then there were hands on him-

“Breathe Lelouch, breathe,” someone, a medic, crouched down next to him and rubbed his back. “Breathe...” Lelouch blindly followed the order, his breath coming shakily in and back out. He could feel arms hauling him up and he stood, stumbling as he was led out. But as they passed by Suzaku who was still heaving into the bucket, he looked back, trying to reach for him-

_I got you-_

But then he saw the medics gingerly pick Suzaku up and was following him out into the debriefing room where they were both sat down. Lelouch could barely feel himself getting poked and prodded, his mind still reeling and comprehending what he saw- And then suddenly Dr. Lightcap was there with the Gage twins. He looked up, all three had kind smiles on their faces.

“You did good guys,” she was holding her PDA. “Also, very impressive too. Finished at least two of the basic puzzles which no first-time Drifters ever did. You did chase the RABIT which was expected, but that's okay too. You guys managed to hold your own until then.”

“S-So...the bucket...don't mean we fail?” Suzaku sounded very shaky as he shivered and huddled into himself. Lelouch felt almost the same, but warmed when a medic hung a silvery reflective blanket over Suzaku's shoulders. The shivering lessened, but didn't stop.

The doctor laughed as she shook her head. “I'd be more surprise if at least one of you didn't use it. It's usually the one that has the memory associated that ends up using the bucket, but it also doesn't mean you're weak, Suzaku. Suzaku, look at me.”

Lelouch could see his friend struggling to look up and met the three pairs of compassionate eyes with a nervous one of his own.

“You're not weak to have followed a RABIT, your RABIT, okay? It's normal. The key is to accept it and don't hide from it. Remember, whatever you share in the Drift is with you and with your partner. None of us know what happened. None of us will. Just you and Lelouch, okay?”

Suzaku nodded shakily. “Okay...”

The doctor leaned back. “Okay, report back here tomorrow same time. We'll continue testing. You boys did well. Ninety-eight percent sync first try. You're close to one-hundred and you've finished two puzzles. Great job guys!”

With that, they were ushered out into the hallway and into Naoto and Kallen who had been waiting for their turn. Kallen blanched as she took in their bedraggled state. “Oh man...it's not-”

“You okay Suzaku?” Naoto stepped forward and Suzaku shied away, nearly into Lelouch who steadied him.

“Yeah...” Suzaku murmured.

Lelouch wrapped an arm around his hunched form, crinkling the thermal blanket. He didn't say anything to the two as they headed back to their dorm room. An oppressive silence hung between them with each step. He was a little shaken, but intrigued by the emotional highs and lows he had felt throughout their first Drift. It was...pleasant for the most part, but he also felt like he  _ was _ Suzaku when they had chased the RABIT.

They arrived without running into anyone else and once inside, Suzaku sat down on the lower bunk while Lelouch pulled up the small chair of the table that was in the room, sitting across from him. He realized belatedly that it was similar to the studio that Nagisa and Tohdoh had on the Oahu base, except the dorms at the Academy were a lot smaller.

“So...” Suzaku started, but lapsed into silence. He hunched into his blanket, the material crinkling loudly in the confined space.

“Your Dad's a dick,” Lelouch stated bluntly.

Somehow, that got Suzaku to laugh until tears were falling out of his eyes. He heaved a couple of breaths before coughing a little and Lelouch felt the slightest phantom pull of his own chest in reaction to the cough. He absently rubbed it. As his friend's laughter ran out and silence fell between them, he couldn't help but let his mind wander to the other parts of the Drift.

Had he imagined it?

_ Those are pretty eyes. Like amethysts.. _ .

He looked up, noting that Suzaku's eyes were a really striking emerald green.

Perhaps he was the one to move first, or maybe it was Suzaku – or a combination of the two of them, but he suddenly found his lips mashed against the warm, slightly damp, definitely sour-tasting ones of Suzaku's. His mind didn't quite register what was happening before he pulled back, blinking at the same time Suzaku did. They both stared at each other, their breaths a little fast, their noses close, but they could feel it between them-  _ LoveaffectionItswarmhereI'mprotected _

The thoughts disappeared just as fast as he Lelouch pulled back a little further. He opened his mouth to say something- What did he just do--?

And found it covered again, the kiss this time definitely warm, urgent, the clack of teeth against teeth, again sour-tasting, but it felt  _ right _ and it felt  _ good _ . And it was suddenly gone, leaving him breathless, gasping, suddenly hungry for more- He saw Suzaku sit back, staring at him with something akin to surprise on his features.

“Erm...” it was the first sound any of them made and Lelouch realized it was from Suzaku. A light flush was crawling up his neck.

“You taste like throw up,” Lelouch could not help the words that fell out of his mouth.

It broke the moment as Suzaku burst into laughter again and Lelouch joined in seconds later. They sat across from each other, laughing in relief in the aftermath of their first full Drift. Everything that Lelouch had worried the most about his jumbled feelings was for naught – it was reciprocated.

They knew they were going to be all right, they were partners.

* * *

With subsequent full Drifts, they slowly acclimated to being in each other's heads, listening to the passing of random thoughts and on rare occasion, enjoying a contented hum that seemed to buzz in their growing bond. It felt good and right, especially whenever they encountered the bad RABITs that they inevitably chased in the second week of full Drifting. Dr. Lightcap said it was quite normal, but most of the time they managed to preserve the full sync and Drift in order to finish puzzle after puzzle after puzzle.

Empress Marianne's assassination attempt left Lelouch shaking and almost incoherent for a good half an hour. Suzaku hugged him in the post-briefing room after everyone left to give them privacy and whispered to him that Nunnally was safe and sound in Oahu, that no one found her, no one killed her. Manila came up when they were introduced to the generic smells of a Jaeger cockpit in order to familiarize themselves in case of any emergency. The simulated smell of kaiju blood in their O2 vents sent them chasing after a RABIT and witnessing the horrific aftermath of Hundun and Manila.

The worse part about Manila was that they saw a man, desperately helping the wounded as part of the Doctors Without Borders team, with the name tag of [Fennette]. He looked almost exactly like a male version of Shirley except little bit older. That immediately sent them looking for Shirley – now training in the technical sections – and her tearful confession of what had happened to her father. He had contracted a terminal illness from kaiju blue exposure and was slowly dying. The prognosis was not good.

Suzaku had been absolutely shaken after learning that news, wondering how he could have missed Shirley's dad during his own attempts to help. But Lelouch had comforted him saying that he had not known Shirley back then, and all they could do now was help her by beating the kaiju like she wanted to.

Surprisingly, Trespasser never appeared in any of their RABITs. They had wondered why, only seeing bits and flashes, but each time, a wave of volcanic fury followed which left them rather emotionally drained. The Psych Analysts had theorized that it was a lot to do with Lelouch who associated that particular memory with just his singular goal of defeating the kaiju.

But not all of the RABITs were bad. There were a couple of good ones, like the recent memory of watching Nunnally build sandcastles. Suzaku found it more amusing than Lelouch that their perspectives seemed to warp between when Suzaku was on the beach, helping Nunnally adjust her legs into a mermaid position to where Lelouch was watching them. The funny part was that it kept focusing on either one of them, Nunnally peripherally involved but the outcome was clear – they  _ both _ had been checking the other out on that particular afternoon. Lelouch took the subsequent teasing from his best friend with mildly good grace, but had his own plans for retaliation.

That particular session ended with Lelouch pulling Suzaku into the nearest restroom and kissing him like he could not get enough of him. He left the bathroom with nary a bit of an adjustment to his collar while Suzaku managed to weakly collect himself bracing against the sink at the passionate and very thorough kiss. He had not known Lelouch could even do something like that-except... He realized somehow Lelouch had plucked it from one of  _ his _ own memories. The thought disturbed him as much as it intrigued him.

They had not moved much past kissing, the understanding passing between them that their relationship, while very new, was also partially fueled by the side effects as their minds learned to cope with full-Drifting. It was a grounding contact for them, to know that they were in the here and now, that they weren't stuck in RABIT or in a memory. They also never really showed any outward affection for each other except for more tactile touching of shoulders, fist bumps, occasional hugs, but generally an increase in banter and sarcastic remarks towards each other or others.

Still, Lelouch was content and dare he say, happy. The Gages were right. Whatever happened in the Drift, there was no need to advertise it. It was between him and Suzaku. If either of them wanted it 'public' so to speak, then it would be by mutual decision. There was too much respect for each other and too much trust for them to make their relationship a spectacle for others to dissect.

They were not the only ones who started to engage in more tactile movements near each other. Jeremiah and Villetta were definitely more open than they were in their apparent affection with each other. They held each other's waists and laced hands together, but it like Suzaku and Lelouch, didn't quite publicly display their affection. However, anyone who had a Drift partner could easily tell the two were in love with each other. Suzaku had commented on it one day, saying it was a little sweet. One of them had a gentleness about them that definitely seem to smooth each of their rougher edges. They were still proud, still kept their military bearing, but it was softened whenever they were near their respective partner – very similar to Cornelia and Guilford.

Naoto and Kallen had occasionally poked each other or slung friendly arms around one another, but as they moved towards the end of Week 2, everyone noticed that Kallen's affection for her brother grew into giant bear hugs, knucklebumps, merciless teasing of any and all of Naoto's previous crushes and potential future ones. It was as if she had completely opened up and her true personality had been revealed in the Drift. Gone was the meek girl who occasionally appeared at the Jaeger Academy and in place was a self-assured, stubborn and very affectionate woman who clearly thought the world of her brother.

It was what also made what happened at the end of Week 2 all the more tragic.


	26. Jaeger Academy - Term 3 - Part II

“Holy shit, someone call an ambulance!” The yell startled Lelouch and Suzaku as they jogged around the perimeter of the Academy grounds.

It was still early Friday morning, but one couldn't tell by the way the sun was oriented. The temperatures had warmed up enough that most of the class didn't do their morning calisthenics indoors and instead opted for the outdoors, enjoying the breath of fresh pine-filled air and salty seawater. The two didn't have to look at one another before they upped their pace and ran towards the yell.

They skidded to a stop as a small line of people were forming around what looked like a car that had skidded to a stop on the local road. It was diagonally positioned, its tail on the other lane. Lelouch didn't have to push much to clear the line of gawkers before he froze, stopping in his tracks.

_ Shit _ , the thought crossed both of their minds. Lelouch took two steps forward, kneeling down to reach out towards Naoto Kouzuki who was now lying crumpled in the road. His blood streaked the few feet he had been thrown and a quick look at the windshield of the car that had hit him was also dented, cracked and with the same blood that now dripped from the man's grievous wounds.

“N-Naoto...” Lelouch found his mouth dry as he tried to say the man's name a hand reaching out as he could see the man's eyes narrowed into mere slits. They were pain-filled and the wheezing breath could be heard. It was like someone had dump-trucked gallons of blood onto Naoto and Lelouch could tell the prognosis wasn't good.

“Lelouch, let me,” Suzaku murmured and Lelouch nodded, stumbling a step back as he stood up to let Suzaku crouch down where he had been. Though Suzaku had no medical training, he had helped doctors and nurses in Hundun's aftermath and he hoped his friend could at least try to do  _ something _ to help their fallen comrade.

“Naoto?! NAOTO!”

Lelouch turned, fear racing through their bond at Kallen's voice calling in the distance.

“Don't let her see this!” Suzaku warned.

But it was too late as Kallen shoved people out of the way, only to stop short as she came upon the same scene. “NAOTO!”

Lelouch caught her just as she lunged towards her dying brother and Suzaku. He was nearly no match for the sheer strength she had – coincidentally right behind Suzaku in terms of raw fighting power in their class – and he pushed his own weight back against her. She suddenly sagged, and he managed to catch her arms just as she collapsed to the ground. An incoherent shriek emerged from her mouth, tears falling from her eyes.

“Shit,” Lelouch cursed before he saw that more and more people were arriving. He turned and pointed to two people he vaguely recognized from their class. “You and you!”

“Sir!” they barked, startled.

“Go get Dr. Lightcap and the Gages!” he ordered.

“Yes, Your Highness!”

“Ohgi! Tamaki!” He recognized a couple of others now arriving. Ohgi was shaking, also attempting to reach out to Naoto. His command startled the two.

“Ye-Yes?” Ohgi looked back and forth.

“Ohgi! Tamaki, restrain that man!” Lelouch pointed towards the unknown man who was the driver. He had been collapsed near the door to his car, seemingly unable to move.

“S-Sir!” the two sprang into action, glad to do something.

“Milly, Shirley!” He saw the blonde and orange-haired girls near the edges of the crowd.

“Yes?” the two answered.

“Get the MPs and medics,” he barked at them and they left, running back to the Academy grounds. “Rivalz, take four others with you and cordon off 3 rd Street and Proving Ground Road so no one comes. Wait for the MPs to arrive and hand off.”

“As you command, Lelouch!” Rivalz immediately picked four of the onlookers with quick taps on their shoulders and the five of them ran down the street to stop cars from coming up.

“Euphie-” He saw the familiar pink hair emerging from the crowd, but just then, nearly fell to the ground as Kallen lunged forward again- “Suzaku!” he called back.

“Naoto, no, no, please don't-”

Suzaku was fast, turning from where he had been holding Naoto's hand, to catching Kallen as she half-crawled towards him. He gently cradled her in his arms as he knelt her next to Naoto. Lelouch could not tear his eyes away as he saw Kallen, tears running down her face, shaking her head with a desperation that ate at him. She picked up her older brother's hand and leaned her face close to his. Her hair covered up whatever words Naoto was saying to his little sister.

Then, Naoto's hand dropped from hers and Lelouch knew the elder Kouzuki was dead.

Kallen's cry of anguish made everyone twitch and look away. It turned into a keening wail as she rocked back and forth on her heels, holding her brother's limp hand. Suzaku tried to reach for her, but she swiped viciously at him and he backed away.

Lelouch reached out, grasping his best friend's shoulder as he could feel his own tears forming in his eyes at the sight in front of him. Suzaku was openly and silently crying, his head hanging down. One of his hands had reached out to grasp the one Lelouch put on his shoulder and held onto it, trying to absorb some comfort from the horrific loss suffered.

Lelouch was distantly aware of the medics, Dr. Lightcap, the Gages and the MPs arriving; the MPs pushing almost everyone except for a select few back so that they weren't crowded around. He saw Dr. Lightcap approach Kallen, kneeling down next to her, a tentative hand resting on her shoulder. The Gages immediately went to direct all traffic, but Lelouch could see that even the twins were shocked at what had happened and the anguish clearly visible on their faces as they tried to maintain a stoic demeanor.

“No, no, no!” Kallen suddenly screamed and flailed her arms about.

Lelouch reacted on instinct as he lifted his own hand from Suzaku's shoulder with the briefest of sense of  _ right _ that floated between them in their nascent bond, and caught one of Kallen's flailing arms before Dr. Lightcap was hit. He crouched next to her, trapping her other arm-

“It's okay, Kallen, it's okay...” he murmured quietly.

And just like that the fight deflated from Kallen as she turned to sob into his chest. Her arms wrapped tightly around him, making him wince a little at how strong she was as she squeezed him in a desperate hug. There was an immediate dampness that formed on his chest as she cried into his clothes, but he patted her gently on her back and on her head, whispering almost nonsensically. He remembered that his mother used to do this to him and he did it for Nunnally during one of her nightmares when they had first moved to Hawai'i.

After what felt like hours, Kallen had somewhat calmed down enough for him to transfer her grip to the medics as they jabbed her with a tranquilizer to calm her down further. He stood up, watching as they left with a sedated Kallen. Suzaku stepped close to him and Lelouch instinctively drew him closer with a hand around his waist. Suzaku leaned his head against his shoulder and the two of them watched with sad and heavy hearts as Naoto Kouzuki's body was taken away from the scene of the accident.

* * *

It was by silent, mutual, unspoken agreement that the Class of 2016-A did  _ not _ talk about the car accident that took Naoto Kouzuki's life. Classes and activities were canceled for the rest of that Friday and Saturday to let the class mourn. Grief counselors were provided for many of the students, but for the two remaining pilot pairs, Dr. Lightcap and the Gages had summoned them for a special counseling session Saturday evening. Only they knew that Kallen Stadtfeld was under heavy sedation and constantly watched by doctors.

Lelouch noted that Dr. Lightcap looked haggard and suspected she had not slept since the accident. But nonetheless, she stood before them with the Gages as they fired up an array that slowly resolved itself to multiple video feeds. Lelouch's eyes widened in surprise as the images resolved itself to show all the other seven active pilot pairs, including Sergio D'Onofrio who was the only lone person conferencing in. It stood to reason since his partner was in the room with them. Lelouch recognized Tohdoh and Nagisa in the same room they had visited in Oahu. Nagisa looked a little paler with dark circles around her eyes, but it could have been chalked up to the fact that she was not sleeping.

As he took in the images of the pilot pairs before him, he also realized this was the first time he had ever met many of them. Each pilot pair had done a media tour – promoting the cause of the PPDC as well as to sate people's curiosities about their Jaegers and experience levels – but it was not the same as actually seeing the pilot pairs in such an intimate setting.

Dr. Lightcap started the meeting off with quick introductions of the various pilot pairs to the pilot candidates. It was a very sober affair and quick greetings were given before the doctor cleared her throat. “This is a bit irregular since we don't do the formal introductions for pilot candidates to the pilot pairs that are in the field until after graduation. But everyone thought this was for the best since, well...we want to both see how everyone's doing and also discuss what has happened.”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I'll be frank. This is...the first time we're dealing with a situation like this.”

“...What?” Lelouch was stunned, but it was Villetta who had asked the question.

“We've...never had to deal with the loss of a single pilot from a pilot pair, especially one in training,” she squeezed the edges of the podium she was bracing herself on.

“What was their sync ratio?” Kaori Jessop asked quietly.

“One hundred during their Thursday evening Drift and steady throughout the whole session. They finished the basic puzzle set through a RABIT. I was about to graduate them to the advance puzzles.”

“How long have they been at one-hundred?” Tohdoh asked quietly.

“Two days,” Lightcap replied. “The Psych Analysts noted that there was something holding them back during last weekend's session. Whatever it was, they resolved it in the Kwoon which allowed them to go one-hundred percent.”

“My question is, was this an accident or deliberate intent?” Cornelia cut in, her eyes flinty, hands on her hips. Guilford was silent as usual, but even he looked angry.

One of the Gage twins – Bruce, Lelouch thought – stepped forward, holding a PDA. His finger scrolled through it. “We were able to claim jurisdiction under the PPDC Charter. Local Britannian officials weren't too happy, but who gives a flying fuck. Preliminary investigation notes by the MPs noted that the Britannian man was a local on Kodiak Island, Richard Thompson, age forty-seven, fisherman, a few of misdemeanors in the last year for starting bar fights – usually with the local Jaeger Flies on the account that he doesn't like them hanging out and in his words, 'trashing up the place.'”

“Escalating into an attack on a Ranger candidate?” Cornelia jumped in.

“We know the local populace has been getting a little more disgruntled in the past two classes,” a slightly youthful voice spoke up and Lelouch saw that it was Gino Weinberg. However, his partner, who apparently was only listed as [ _ CLASSIFIED _ ] on rosters and calls, was hidden in shadow behind the Knight of Three. Weinberg was only a year older than he, one of the youngest to be picked as both a Knight of the Round and as a Jaeger pilot.

“It might be the civilian effect. Jaeger Flies may think that they would have more chances with civilians instead of those of us who were military. Maybe Mr. Thompson got fed up?” Jean Rowe's voice was quiet, but her gaze was sharp. Next to her, her partner, a man with severe aristocratic features that looked half Asian, half European, nodded in agreement.

“Jean are you suggesting-”

“It's just a thought into the mental processes of a man whom you said in your notes, Knight of Two, quote, doesn't like Jaeger Flies hanging about near the Academy because they were trashing the place up,” Rowe tucked a fiery strand of red hair behind her ear.

Lelouch saw Bruce frown, but his brother placed a hand on his arm to stop him from whatever he was going to say. Instead, Bruce cleared his throat. “I did say that. But at this point, it is baseless speculation. The man was clearly distraught at the scene-”

“It would honestly be baseless speculation too as I hate to say it, but there was no way that the man could have easily identified Candidate Kouzuki just by his features,” Lelia Breisgau said quietly. “The PT clothing he was wearing aren't that identifiable even with the name tags. They're all designed to have the candidates conform into the PPDC mold. From a distance, with his red hair, Kouzuki would have looked like either he was European Union or Britannian.”

“Blood alcohol taken?”

Bruce flipped through his notes again. “Point zero four over the limit.”

“So the guy was shitfaced,” Gino bit out. “May account for the early morning drive. Combined with the disorientation of the sun being up that high during that time-”

“That's not going to fly in the UFN's court,” Duc Jessop cut in. “He's a local. He's been there for years. He knows what the sunlight seasons are like.”

“Good point,” Gino shook his head.

“What's Prince Schneizel saying about this?” Sergio D'Onofrio asked.

Cornelia sighed and shook her head, rubbing her eyebrow. “Schneizel is proceeding with the investigation, but the Board of Governors is very nervous. Reports already been leaking and he's been trying to placate them.”

Lightcap nodded. “I've put in a request to the local government in Japan to request emergency evacuation of both the Stadtfeld and Kouzuki families to an undisclosed location for their privacy. I was hoping to send Kallen there once she's...recovered, I hope.”

Lelouch could feel the sigh of relief from Suzaku as they sat next to each other. He too was glad that someone at least thought of the blended families. He didn't know much about Kallen's home life, but it seemed that Mr. Stadtfeld did not marry Naoto and Kallen's mother as the picture of Mrs. Stadtfeld in the records clearly showed she had Britannian features. He wondered if it was an illicit affair of sorts with the mistress living with the family. It certainly explained the use of two alternating last names and how Kallen easily passed herself off as a Britannian to attend Ashford Academy.

“Amend your request with JDF Emergency Authorization 24-A. The paperwork will be immediately processed.  _ Tohdoh-sensei _ or  _ Kaori-san _ can sign off on it too,” Suzaku suddenly spoke up. Everyone looked at him before Tohdoh nodded.

“Good idea,” Tohdoh had a tight smile on his face and Kaori looked like she wanted to hug Suzaku for his suggestion. “I'm sending the forms now Caitlin.”

“Loophole?” Lelouch asked his partner.

Suzaku's grin was a little wolfish. “Loophole.”

Cornelia chuckled over the video. “You two are going to be trouble when you graduate. I know it.”

“Got the forms.” The doctor said before she quickly scrolled through it and set her PDA down on the podium she was at. Her fingers were a flurry of quick movements and typing before she made two quick swipes and looked at the assembled group. She nodded once. “Done.”

Tohdoh looked down for a few seconds, his hand hidden from view, but it was clear he was reading over and signing what Lightcap had written up. A few seconds later he looked up. “Authorized.”

“So, not to bring down the mood again, but should we put forth a motion to ban Jaeger Flies or even think of buying out the whole island? I mean the Shatterdome just got authorized for construction in Anchorage so we could move the Academy there too,” D'Onofrio asked.

Cornelia shook her head. “Too much of a logistical problem. I can already tell you that Schneizel won't take to that and neither would the other countries that make up the Board of Governors. It was a hassle for us to just buy part of Kodiak Island. Schneizel convinced the Emperor on behalf of Britannia to part with that piece of territory.”

“So we pretty much have to wait for the outcome of the investigation,” Duc Jessop crossed his arms across his chest and sighed. “How is Candidate Stadtfeld?”

“Kouzuki.” Trevin spoke up behind his brother.

“What?” Duc looked confused.

“Trev, not now,” Bruce looked back at his brother and shook his head.

“Fine,” the other twin didn't look happy.

“She's sedated,” Lightcap adjusted her glasses, giving both twins a stern look. “Her brain scans look normal. There was a spike indicating a ghost Drift for about five hours after we managed to initially sedate her, but it's gone now. I'm looking to ease her out of the sedation for her to wake up in a couple of hours.”

“Sedation?”

Lightcap grimaced. “She was acting exactly like Ranger Protocol post-combat when her brother passed away.”

Lelouch looked up, a little alarmed and noted that he was not the only one who had paled at the news. Only the Gage twins looked down, more than likely already informed by the doctor of Kallen's reaction.

“Could it be considered that she was acting in a manner consistent with the death of a loved one instead of Ranger Protocol?” Jeremiah asked quietly. It was the first time the Margrave had spoken up.

Lelouch looked away. He could still feel the dampness of Kallen's tears on his shirt, and the way she clung onto him like he was her only anchor. He also realized that Jeremiah and Villetta had also witnessed the scene, more than likely within the crowd of students and civilians that had gathered in the aftermath.

“Initially yes,” Lightcap nodded. “But when we first took her out of sedation after the first time, she...reacted poorly.”

“We had to restrain her,” Trevin spoke up. “It was...bad.”

Lelouch had a feeling that 'bad' was the under statement of the year.

“All during the five hour spiking period of the ghost I take it?” D'Onofrio asked.

“Yes,” Lightcap nodded. “We kept her under since then, but we're going to try again in a couple of hours.”

Silence reigned across the video lines as everyone digested the information. Lelouch realized that no one knew how to approach this problem they now had. Technically, Kallen had broken into a whole new field – the loss of a pilot pair that hadn't quite fully synced nor had Drifted for so long. They didn't know the psychological ramifications and he realized it was why Lightcap called for this meeting. She was out of her element here.

Tohdoh suddenly sighed. “I'll be on my way up on the next flight out, Dr. Lightcap.” He made a motion and the video feed went black, but did not disconnect. Lelouch realized that Tohdoh was still recovering from his ordeal and considering both Jessops looked quite alarmed and concerned, gave weight to his thoughts. A few seconds later, the video feed came back on but Nagisa was not there.

“Tohdoh-”

“This is new ground, doctor. Anything we can do to help one of our own needs to be done,” Tohdoh said gravely. “I will be on the next flight out. Nagisa understands.”

Lightcap frowned behind her glasses as she shook her head. “Fine.”

The other pilot pairs were quiet. Even Jean Rowe and her partner looked quite solemn at the news.

“What can we do in the meantime?” Leila Breisgau suddenly asked.

“Media control,” Cornelia answered quickly. “Route it through the Board of Governors. We need to get ahead of this. We're already behind this with the rumors and we don't need this coming out in a bad way. If you can, reiterate the media points about Drifting and handshake protocols. Don't make any mention of Thompson unless directed by Schneizel and the Board. We don't need tensions rising with this.”

Bruce made a noise of disgust that was echoed not even a second later by his twin. “I can't believe we're even considering that this could be a racial attack. Ugh.”

But Lelouch wasn't listening anymore to the conference call as he shot a look at his Drift partner. He was starting to feel the symbolic weight of who he partnered up with. To him, it was easy as breathing – Suzaku Kururugi was his partner, best friend and possibly lover/boyfriend/something – though he really disliked labeling their relationship. But to the world outside of them, it was a Britannian partnering up with a Japanese. Two nations formerly at war, with so much bad blood between them. Him, an ex-royal Prince – or even The Exiled Prince – and Suzaku, practically a Prince all but in name with his family lineage and power in Japan.

When they graduated, how would the world see them? Lelouch tightened the fingers he had laced together during the whole call. The weight was very heavy over their shoulders.

* * *

Tohdoh's arrival back to the Academy early Sunday morning was muted and quiet. It was only a text from Tohdoh to Suzaku that even told them that he had landed in Anchorage and they knew it would be an hour hopper flight to the Academy grounds. Friday night was the first time they had not slept top and bottom bunk. Instead, they had just crowded into Suzaku's lower bunk and slept next to each other without even a single word passing through them. More for comfort than anything sexual in nature, Lelouch had woken up the next morning with a massive muscle cramp that ran straight down his spine from how a single-person bunk was attempting to fit two people. But he had woken up for the first time with his hand curled around Suzaku's waist and it felt comforting, embracing him the whole night.

They both knew that it was a logical next step to their relationship, but it also was natural to gravitate towards someone after witnessing such a loss. However, both of them also decided that if they were to continue to sleep next to each other, the bunk bed had to go. They spent Saturday morning carefully removing the top bunk and placing it next to Suzaku's bunk. It was a very tight fit considering the room wasn't exactly built to house what was now a full-size bed, but it at least prevented the painful muscle cramps early Sunday morning when Suzaku's phone beeped with Tohdoh's incoming flight.

Lelouch blinked sleepily as he lifted his hand from where it had ended up draped over Suzaku's waist some time during the night, and peered over his shoulder. He managed to lift his head from his pillow and rested his chin on Suzaku's shoulder, a part of him really enjoying the bare chested view he was getting from his best friend. He didn't realize Suzaku only slept in his boxers until the previous night. He was used to sleeping in a tee-shirt and his own boxer shorts, but the Alaskan cold made him really appreciate clothing under covers. But he was also aware enough that Suzaku was wide awake and reading the text from Tohdoh that was in Japanese characters he couldn't make heads or tails of.

“Tohdoh should be here in about an hour and half. His hopper flight is half an hour out from departing. He's going to go talk to Dr. Lightcap and Kallen, but he also wants to talk to us after,” Suzaku's face were lit up blue reflecting the cellphone's screen light.

“Did...” Lelouch reached up to cover a yawn as he tried to force his brain to work at least to produce a coherent sentence. “He say...when?” He managed to get out. He really wanted to go back to sleep, but valiantly tried to keep his eyes open if not for his friend's sake. The sudden shift of Suzaku turning, nearly made him drop his chin, except for the slight warm peck he felt on his lips. He focused his eyes back to see Suzaku with a fond smile on his face.

“It's three a.m. Go back to sleep. Tohdoh's going to be busy for a while. I'm pretty sure he'll still be busy when we wake up again. We can find him in the late afternoon or evening if he doesn't seek us out by then.”

Lelouch returned the smile with what he hoped was an approximation as he nodded and fell back onto his pillow. He was almost already to fall back asleep when he felt another peck, this time on his cheek. It lingered longer and was accompanied by something running through his hair. He muzzily reached up, hoping to return some of the affection he received, but didn't know if he succeeded as he fell into Morpheus' embrace quickly.

* * *

Before Tohdoh could seek them out, Euphie had her turn with them late Sunday afternoon, long after their daily Drift session was finished. The Gage twins ran the session since Dr. Lightcap was with Tohdoh and Kallen. It was getting easier now to concentrate on the Drift, having moved to the more advance puzzles. But the echo of loss and of sorrow still lingered and they had a moment where they both stared at the formation of the RABIT that was their entry into Naoto's accident before they both made the conscious effort to turn away and concentrate.

Euphie found them in the Kwoon, going over basic forms – Suzaku easily outstripping Lelouch and showing off by mirroring the katas opposite him – and invited them to join her in a quick break before she was due back for her afternoon classes. They were glad to see her after not even seeing her for the last two weeks. She had been part of the crowd of students in the aftermath of the accident, but they really did not get a chance to talk with her. Euphie was speedily learning the material to qualify as a J-Tech Chief and even hinted that she was getting access to the latest models of Jaegers the PPDC had commissioned countries to roll out. However, she would not tell them what they were or who was building them, in her words 'a lady's always got to have her secrets.' They complained to her that it was not fair if she was going to be their J-Tech Chief.

“You two look good together,” Euphie said as she sipped on the apparent sickly sweet Unicorn milkshake monstrosity once more. Lelouch did not know how she could drink that thing.

“I normally would ask how could you tell, but I'm beginning to get leery when it comes to the two of us and your involvement,” Lelouch replied dryly as he stirred some sugar into his own coffee.

Suzaku nodded in agreement as he sipped his own drink. He was drinking some green tea which Lelouch thought was far more bitter than the Oolong Tohdoh and Nagisa had served. How Suzaku could stand the tea was beyond him, but he wasn't one to judge considering Suzaku disliked coffee even after a nuanced discussion about the bean quality, type, growth and subtle tastes.

Euphie smiled. “Come on...am I that bad?”

“Yes,” the two of them replied simultaneously.

She pouted, attempting to look adorable and Lelouch shook his head, but Suzaku sighed, apparently giving in. He gave his partner a look. “Really?” he asked.

Suzaku gestured wordlessly. “Sorry...I was her friend first before you-”

“Come on, you should at least  _ know _ that Euphie's got you around her finger-”

“Like a certain other person-”

“Yes, and so?”

“Gonna wrap me around your finger?” Suzaku finished with a bright grin and Lelouch felt himself flush in both the attractiveness of that particular statement, but also from embarrassment. When he put it that way... He looked away and huffed as both Euphie and Suzaku laughed.

“Wow...okay, wow, I've seen everything now. No one, seriously, not even one of our siblings could have done that to Lelouch in all of his years alive,” Euphie sounded proud. “I wonder who's got who then wrapped around their fingers.”

Suzaku laughed again and Lelouch rolled his eyes at them. “Ha ha,” he said as he tapped his spoon against the cup and set it to the side. He drank his coffee. “Keep laughing. I'll get the two of you for that when you least expect it.”

“Oh come on, gotta have some fun at your expense. You can't always be the clever one about to drive everyone including Cornelia up a wall. I bet you'll give the Gage twins a run for their money too.”

“Those two are...different, even for Knights of the Round,” Suzaku commented mildly.

“They don't take any flak from anyone,” Euphie replied. “I'm doing a work study under their J-Tech Chief and she says its like herding cats with them sometimes. They have a filter, but only for certain subjects. Otherwise, it's all up for grabs including some of the rules governing Knights of the Rounds and the apparent code they follow.”

“They were knighted after they graduated right?”

“Yeah,” Euphie nodded to Lelouch's question. “As a token of the Emperor's appreciation for being the first Britannian Knightmare team – aside from Cornelia and Guilford – to graduate. Captain D'Onofrio and Dr. Lightcap apparently didn't quite count since Dr. Lightcap was a civilian and rumor had it that the captain declined his knighthood.”

“Declined?” Lelouch was surprised.

“Or was rescinded. I have no idea. No one in J-Tech talks about it. Not even their Chief technician. It's probably for the best since Brawler Yukon is more of a training Jaeger than anything else. The Gages are active duty pilots.”

“Good point,” Lelouch nodded. It made the most sense. “Though they do know that the Emperor can theoretically take their Knighthood away if they don't toe the line, right?”

“And it's a line we're well aware of,” one of the Gage twins suddenly spoke up and the three of them started in surprise. They had not even heard or felt their presence.

“We have good hearing and eyesight. Sniper school,” the other one, Lelouch thought it was Trevin, shrugged. “Tools of the trade when sniping in a Knightmare frame.”

“Hello, you must be the Princess J-Tech Amanda's been talking non-stop about,” Bruce said.

“Princess J-Tech?” Suzaku looked baffled, but Lelouch immediately zoned in on the apparently nickname she had and smiled.

“Not sorry,” Trevin stage whispered towards them and Euphie shook her head.

“You two  _ are _ incorrigable like Amanda said,” she threw them a mock glare before shaking her head at Lelouch. “Lelouch, don't you-”

“I'll stop him,” Suzaku jumped in and Lelouch rolled his eyes. “Don't worry.”

“Spoilsport,” he muttered under his breath. He would  _ like _ to see how Suzaku would stop him.

“Ah, young love,” both twins had crooked smiles on their faces noting the way Euphie turned a little pink at Suzaku's defense of her honor. “No, but seriously. We actually had a purpose in coming here. Amanda's asked us to bring you to LOCENT at Anchorage.”

“Romeo Blue's here?” Lelouch asked.

“Yep. We've been helping with the construction efforts by load lifting. We're about to go now, but our J-Tech Chief Amanda O'Neill's asked us to bring the Princess here so she can have some real hands on experience instead of going through the virtual classes.”

“Yes please. Um...” she stared at her drink.

“Your fault for ordering something none of us want to drink,” Lelouch shook his head. Even Suzaku grimaced and politely declined as did the twins. Euphie sighed and decided to dump it all out.

“Ready?”

“Ready,” Euphie stood up and waved to them. “Good to see both of you. We'll talk later, okay?”

“Bye Euphie,” Suzaku called while Lelouch merely nodded. They watched as she walked away with the twins already chatting about LOCENT or something to do with royals and knights. He was glad to see that even for Knights of the Round, the two treated Euphie like she was just a regular girl and not a royal Princess. They truly were unusual Britannians and Knights to boot.

They sat in an amicable silence for a few minutes after Euphie left. Suzaku picked up his tea cup and swirled the remaining contents inside before setting it down. “We start simulator training mid-next week if we're able to pass all the puzzle tests,” he said.

Lelouch made a noise of agreement as he fished out his PDA and scrolled through the latest newsfeed. He had signed up to a feed in the morning that gave him a general look at what other countries were reporting on a daily basis. He was curious to what Cornelia meant by media control from a PPDC perspective.

“Lelouch, we still haven't decided who's going to be left and right.”

They had been alternating with each session and there was no noticeable difference in their sync ratios or abilities to complete the puzzles. Even Dr. Lightcap had called it a fluke of sorts because it meant they were very equal when it came to the brain, yet they both had clear differences in strengths. The Gages wondered if it was because Lelouch was a strategist with physicality as a secondary trait and that Suzaku was a physical fighter with strategy as his secondary trait.

“Do we have to decide right now?” Lelouch asked. He really did not want to get into this kind of discussion at the moment. The fact that they had been doing well even while alternating had not worried him until Bruce's comment the night before during the pilot pair video conference. Visibility, whomever was considered lead pilot, even the way they were introduced by name, all of it had taken on a different meaning now. He and Suzaku, when they graduated, were about to become a symbol. Whoever was the right hemisphere would be considered the lead and dominant pilot.

While Lelouch had his own pride in saying that he really wanted to be the right hemisphere, he was also aware of his own faults and shortcomings. He knew Suzaku had his own pride to consider, but there was also the fact that Suzaku had never openly admitted his own shortcomings nor did he acknowledge it. It was still a bit of a sticking point between them that they let pass by for now, but for Suzaku to bring up the whole dominant hemisphere now...Lelouch did not want to have this conversation right now.

“We're going to decide mid-week?” Suzaku asked.

“If we have to,” he replied as he scrolled through his feed.

“Are you avoiding the subject?”

“Yes,” he replied bluntly.

“Why?”

“Because Naoto just died and I really don't want to talk about it,” it wasn't exactly the truth, but it was the best excuse Lelouch could give.

Suzaku blinked and sat back. “Oh,” he replied quietly. He fell silent after, but Lelouch didn't need to know that his friend had a frown on his face as he absently swirled the remnants of his tea around its cup.

Thankfully, nothing else needed to be said and the moment was broken with Suzaku standing up from his chair. Lelouch looked up to see that Tohdoh had arrived, hailing them with a nod.

“ _ Tohdoh-sensei _ ,” Suzaku greeted his former master with a short bow. “ _ How are you? May we ask about Kallen? _ ”

Tohdoh took the seat that Euphie had sat in across from them and Suzaku looked like he was about to go to the mess hall line to get a drink for the Marshal before the Marshal waved for him to sit down. Suzaku took his seat again, though he looked far more attentive. Lelouch briefly wondered what his partner had talked about with Tohdoh and Nagisa during his visits back on Oahu. Though it had been a little over two weeks, Tohdoh looked surprisingly older than the last time Lelouch saw him.

“Kallen is...recovering,” Tohdoh replied quietly, keeping his voice low considering they were in a public place, “we did bring her up from sedation and she did not have an episode as previously alluded to. She is well within the margins of error we have for post-Drift shock and Dr. Lighcap is beginning rehabilitation. The Psych Analysts are also going to be talking with her and she'll be assigned a personal grief counselor.”

“What's going to happen to her?”

“Well, currently, she'll be staying under the doctor's supervision, but she'll be evaluated on a week to week basis and slowly transitioned out of the Ranger system. She does have qualifications for other opportunities like all of the others who passed Term 1, but it is the unfortunate part of this.” His expression was stoic. “She will not be a Ranger candidate in this class anymore.”

Lelouch frowned, but nodded. He and Suzaku shared a quick glance, remembering the conversation they had in the alcove right before they sparred against each other. Tohdoh seemed to indicate that Kallen would be allowed to test into Ranger Academy again if she wanted to try her hand again to become a Jaeger pilot.

“Thank you for letting us know,” he replied and the other man nodded.

“Can...we see her?”

“Probably not for today. Maybe tomorrow if Dr. Lightcap allows it,” Tohdoh shook his head.

“Thanks,” Suzaku gave a small smile. “Can I tell the others they can visit?”

“Yes. But please do not share what I just shared to them,” the Marshal said. “It's all up to her now if she wants visitors. She may want them tomorrow too. We will be shipping her brother's body down to Australia for the family to bury as they see fit.”

“They're safe?”

“We got them out. Kaori and Duc have also chartered a flight down to help the family settle in and oversee any PPDC paperwork that needs to be filled out. Field Marshal Gu has given them permission for special leave. Good thinking Suzaku,” Tohdoh had a proud smile on his face and Lelouch could feel the ghostly affection of warmth across their bond.

“It's the least I can do,” Suzaku took the thanks with a surprising amount of grace and pride.

Tohdoh was silent for a moment, tapping his fingers absently before he looked at them. Lelouch unconsciously leaned forward, bracing himself at the seriousness of the Marshal's expression. He could feel Suzaku doing the same. This was the reason why Tohdoh requested their presence.

“ _ This was supposed to be announced after you graduated and be symbolic, but we're announcing it in advance in an attempt to deflect a lot of the attention the media may focus on Candidate Kouzuki's death. I figured the two of you should know, especially you Suzaku. _

“ _ Nagisa and I are retiring as Jaeger pilots _ .”

There was two seconds of silence before Suzaku squeaked out in a barely held breath. “ _ ...What?! _ ”

Tohdoh turned to focus on his former pupil. “ _ Nagisa's seizure during Onibaba revealed that she has a brain tumor. Cancerous. She's currently undergoing emergency radiation therapy in the K-Watch substation on Oahu. _ ”

Lelouch felt like his heart was being squeezed – or was that Suzaku considering all color had drained from his partner's face. He reached out and grasped his hand, clutching it underneath the table.

“ _ H-How...? _ ”

“ _ Coyote Tango, has also been ordered to undergo emergency retrofitting. All other Mark I Jaegers are being looked at as we speak, including Romeo Blue. We think it may be the way Coyote was built in haste to combat the kaiju. There was radiation shielding, but not enough to protect us _ .”

“ _ But- _ ”

“ _ I've been checked out and marked clean, but in the future, who knows _ ,” Tohdoh's gaze was now more simple, almost fatherly. His hands were resting on his table, folded together.

“ _ But Nagisa-san... _ ” Suzaku choked out. Lelouch didn't need to know that Suzaku was devastated by the news.

“ _ The tumor is small, so the doctors think they might have caught it fast, but they don't know how aggressive it is. If it metastasize to her blood or bone- _ ”

“ _ Kami-sama... _ ” Suzaku looked down, unable to meet Tohdoh's gaze anymore.

“ _ Suzaku _ ,” Tohdoh said sternly. “ _ Suzaku! _ ”

“ _ H-Hai... _ ” Lelouch could feel the moment when Suzaku forced himself to regain his composure and look back up at his mentor and former master.

“ _ This is not the end of us, Suzaku. I will be accepting the position of Field Marshal at the Tokyo Shatterdome with Nagisa as my second-in-command when she is out of therapy _ .”

“ _ W-Wait...Father approved of the plans? _ ”

“ _ Your father didn't quite have a choice when Onibaba forced his hand _ ,” Tohdoh smiled a little.

“ _ And...you're willing to work with him in Tokyo? _ ” Suzaku sounded surprised. Lelouch frowned inwardly. He was definitely missing something here. Something that he didn't know between Suzaku, Tohdoh and Genbu Kururugi. He had a slight suspicion it had to do with Lightcap's assessment of Tohdoh and Suzaku's relationship, but he couldn't confirm it until he asked his partner.

“ _ We answer to the PPDC, _ ” was Tohdoh's reply. “ _ And if it is a question of working with your Father, it is a better man to swallow a bitter pill than to act on impulses that are unbecoming of his character. _ ”

“ _ Nagisa-san will get better? _ ”

“ _ I hope so _ ,” Tohdoh's eyes had gone soft again. Lelouch recognized it then. Tohdoh loved his partner dearly enough to make sure she got the best treatment, the best care possible and the best way to continue their fight against the kaiju. He was willing to retire with her in order to make sure she was not alone.

“ _ Coyote Tango...new pilots? _ ” he spoke up.

“ _ When she's done with her retrofit _ ,” Tohdoh replied, “ _ perhaps someone from a different class. The Mark IIs have better shielding, they were for the 2015-B class. All Mark IIIs are in pre-production, but they are looking at their plans too. _ ”

Lelouch perked up at the same Suzaku did too and the two of them raised their eyebrows at Tohdoh. “ _ We're getting a Mark III? _ ”

The stoic demeanor Tohdoh wore twitch a little, but it was what broke the morose mood that had fallen over at his announcement to them. He gave them a look, one Lelouch clearly recognized from random bits of Suzaku's memory as one who was clearly on to them and knew what they were asking. Suzaku had it thrown at Tohdoh many times when he was learning kenjutsu as a child.

“ _ You're only two weeks into Term 3 _ ,” he replied gruffly.

“ _ But we're getting a Mark III _ ,” Suzaku pointed out.

“ _ You haven't even graduated yet, you brat. _ ”

“ _ Mark III _ ,” Suzaku would not let it go and Lelouch could not help but laugh at the childish way Suzaku was holding onto the very bone that Tohdoh had unwittingly gave them. In turn, Tohdoh cracked a small smile, the melancholic mood completely evaporating as they turned their conversation into more pleasant things.


	27. Jaeger Academy - Term 3 - Part III

But the pleasant feeling was not to last as Wednesday rolled around and both the Gages and Dr. Lightcap announced that Lelouch and Suzaku were ready to proceed to the simulators and try their hand at actually piloting a virtual Jaeger. The lessening of the pleasant feeling was in due part, fueled by the announcement of Tohdoh and Nagisa's retirement from the field – reasoned away by the extensive damage Coyote Tango suffered in deflecting Onibaba's attack and the amount of time it would take to 'repair' it. The other part that lessened the pleasantness was mostly fueled by Suzaku's insistence on the question of left and right hemisphere again. Lelouch had deflected the best he could, but after they learned they were going to transition to the virtual simulations, Suzaku had finally had enough and confronted Lelouch in the hallway hours after they were done with the last of the puzzle tests.

“Lelouch!”

He turned, staring at Suzaku with a mild look.

“Left or right?”

Lelouch frowned. “Why not both-”

Suzaku made a noise of frustration. “Please, just this once, please take this seriously-”

“I am,” Lelouch stated flatly. “I'm serious. Why not both-”

“Aside from the technical calibrations and the cost measures of creating two different rigs that then the technicians have to install each time we are to sortie in a Jaeger. Do you know how much _work_ goes into all of the neural connections that needs to be rewired each time we have to change sides?!” Suzaku shook his head. “No, for once in your life, no loopholes, no third options, nothing to find a weakness and strike an enemy against, Lelouch. We need to pick, left or right?”

Lelouch pressed his lips thinly together as he shot an arched look at his friend. “It's not that simple-”

“Yes it is,” Suzaku insisted.

Lelouch growled. “It's _not_ that simple!” He gestured towards the darkened hallway that led back to the full simulators. “We obviously both want to be right hemispheres, so why do you insist it's that simple?”

“Because I'm giving you first choice!”

Lelouch froze, staring at his partner. His emerald green eyes were so guileless, so... _innocent_ , that he suddenly felt utterly disgusted and shamed at the same time. He snorted. “You don't get it, do you?” he said.

“What?”

Suzaku truly did not get it, Lelouch realized. He hadn't seen or realize what was in front of him the whole time. He hadn't quite comprehended it in the Drift. He was thinking so singular now that Lelouch realized it was _he_ who saw the whole picture. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It's not that simple, Suzaku.”

“You keep saying that,” Suzaku stared at him, gaze flat. “And apparently I'm not getting something, because we're apparently not thinking on the same brain waves or whatever. Lelouch, I can't read your thoughts like this. I know you, but I _know_ you. That's why I gave you first choice.”

“It's not about a choice,” Lelouch shook his head. “It's about the perception of choice. You can't just say you're giving me first choice without thinking about the consequences of what you're saying.”

“What I'm saying?” Suzaku echoed. “I know what-”

“No you don't. Just...think about it,” Lelouch hurried on, “whomever gets the right side, is the one introduced first, is the visible one. Is the-”

“-the one with the most experience, yes, I know.”

“Yes, but really think about it. This is us, we're talking about. You and me.”

“And?”

“What do you think the world will do if they see either your name first and then my name or vice versa?”

A dead silence stretched across their conversation.

Lelouch saw the moment Suzaku's eyes flashed with an emotion he couldn't recognize. He then spoke, his voice low. “Are...you saying that because you're so afraid of the political ramifications of a Britannian and Japanese pilot pairing up, you are so scared to pick a side? That you're hesitant to finish training?”

Lelouch frowned. “Y-Yes, no...I mean-”

Suzaku made a noise of disgust and Lelouch saw Suzaku flexing his hand as if he really wanted to punch him, but was holding back. “ _Lelouch you baka_ ,” his partner snarled at him. “I _know_ the ramifications! You don't think I do?! I know what it means for me, for my name to be next to yours!

“I am _well aware_ of what the Japanese might think if they see us. I can almost speculate it may be the same with Britannians too! It would have been easy with Euphie. She's a Princess! If she was anything but the right hemisphere, there would be riots and wars. I'd be told that I'm too selfish, that I'm too self-absorbed to see that Euphie needs to be right hemisphere!”

He pointed at him and Lelouch nearly stumbled back a step at the death glare he received from his best friend. “I know who you are too and what the media are saying about you. I know that as soon as we graduate, our names go on the official roster, the world _will_ make the connection to Lelouch Lamperouge and Lelouch vi Britannia. That's why you've been-”

Lelouch held his breath, wondering if Suzaku was going to say Nunnally's name out loud.

“-doing the things you've been doing. That's why I agreed. I know you, Lelouch, I've been in your head for the last few weeks. I know you. And I know that you self-flagellate your problems because you can't think of anything else except for how to beat the enemy. Your goal is singular, yes, the kaiju are to be beaten, but I know you are worried about what others will think.”

His glare lessened as he shook his head. “And I know you've been trying to protect me. That you want our partnership to succeed and you're worried that the media, the Britannian, the Japanese, all media will crucify us when we have our names appear next to each other.”

He smiled, a sad, but hopeful one. “And I have to tell you...I don't give a flying fuck. I don't care what they say. We're partners and we're in this together.”

He sighed, his smile disappearing as he sagged a little. “I just...wanted you to have first pick because I love you.”

Lelouch felt his breath hitch. It was the first time he had ever heard those words from Suzaku. He felt his breath hitch again before something salty dripped onto lip and he absently brushed at it. He realized he was crying and blinked his eyes rapidly. Then suddenly he was engulfed in a warm embrace, Suzaku's breath tickling the back of his neck and it felt protected, it felt right.

“You take too much onto yourself Lelouch,” Suzaku whispered in his ear. Lelouch trembled. “Let me share some of that burden with you, all right? Let me be your sword to your shield. Let me cut down your enemies for you. Let me be your Knight...”

Lelouch couldn't do anything except look up at the ceiling, tears still tracking down his face. He didn't deserve Suzaku. Didn't deserve this kindness. Suzaku had read him like an open book and he felt incredibly naked.

“I love you, too.”

* * *

The debate on who would be in the dominant hemisphere was settled in a very early Thursday morning Kwoon session that supplemented their normal morning calisthenics. Neither of them had gotten very much sleep the night before, Lelouch too emotionally wired to do anything but think as he laid in bed next to his partner. Suzaku doing nothing except absently carding his hand through Lelouch's silky black hair, his thoughts centering on the public perception and perceived weight that nearly crushed their friendship.

It was also the first time they had said those three words to each other. They had felt each other's affection across both the bond and Drift, but actually saying the words somehow grounded them like the kisses they stole and gave to each other.

Lelouch shivered in the coldness of the Kwoon, but held his bo tightly in his hands. He took careful measured steps, circling at the same time Suzaku did the same. Tohdoh stood near them, graciously referring the match after Suzaku had apologetically woken him up with the request.

Whomever won by forcing their opponent to yield would win the position. This was not a fight of compatibility. They weren't allowed to injure each other, but the rules were clear – anything goes. Lelouch knew he was already at a severe disadvantage due to his lack of physicality, but he also knew he had an advantage of knowing how Suzaku fought and his methodologies. He was adaptable – Suzaku had recognized patterns and fight styles. He had the element of using sneak attacks courtesy of the times provided with openings, but his patterns fit a mold that was easy.

It was a vicious fight.

The first five minutes dead even as they clashed again and again, rolling into pins and out of them like graceful cats. However, the fast and furious pace was wearing on Lelouch by the time the ten minute mark rolled around and any way he adapted, he found himself faltering. It was in last few seconds of the fourteenth minute that Lelouch lost his bo and found himself knocked down into the mats by Suzaku's spinning kick before the length of the staff was pressed lightly against his windpipe and Suzaku's knee was on his chest.

He looked up into the eyes of his partner. It was like looking into the depths of an emerald green pool. “Yield,” Suzaku stated breathlessly.

“Yield,” he closed his eyes and nodded.

“Good,” Suzaku said as the weight on his chest felt just a tiny bit heavier- Before Lelouch opened his eyes as the soft warm lips of his best friend covered his own. The kiss was light, sweet, and had hint of salty sweat in it. Suzaku lifted his head back up and he smiled down at him. “I'm taking the left side.”

He rolled off of him and extended a hand for him to be helped up. Lelouch took it, bewildered. “But...”

“Left,” Suzaku shrugged with a smile as he collected their bo staffs, stepping out of the ring bowing to the center before placing them back where they belonged.

Lelouch followed him, belatedly remembering to bow at the ring at Tohdoh's sudden throat clearing. He paused, watching as Suzaku went over to Tohdoh and nodded once to his former master.

“ _Thank you, sensei._ ”

“ _It seems like you've resolved your problem. A good clean fight_ ,” Tohdoh sounded gruffly proud and Suzaku smiled.

“ _It was. Please give Nagisa-san my best when you return and I hope she recovers quickly_ ,” Suzaku replied. Lelouch realized that Tohdoh was due to leave in the morning, having deemed Kallen's recovery progressing enough that she didn't need his guidance.

“ _I will_ ,” Tohdoh replied and the two formally bowed to each other before Suzaku gestured for Lelouch to follow.

He did wordlessly, still confused as he absently rubbed his lip. He squashed the sudden yearning for more of that light, sweet kiss. “Suzaku...”

“Yes?”

“What...”

“Well,” Suzaku didn't look back, but Lelouch caught up to him and saw that his expression was quite set and determined. “If you think about it. I should be left side because we need to think of how we're beating the kaiju before we actually physically act on it. You're the brains of this operation and I'm the muscle.”

Lelouch raised an eyebrow. “Don't sell yourself so short. You're smart-”

“Coming from you, thanks,” Suzaku's expression while still determined had a bit of an impish softness in it. “But it's logical if you really dig deep into what we're really doing. We're the brains of a Jaeger. We need to think before we act. We can't just rush head-long into a fight without a plan, without studying it and without knowing our capabilities. I remember a faint memory where you said those who are prepared to fight should be prepared to die. It's also followed up by your logic in chess – that a king should always move first. But in order to move your king piece, you need to move another one first, as part of your strategy.”

Lelouch knew Suzaku was referencing the strategy lesson he had given to Euphie.

“We're both stubborn, dominant and really don't like giving quarter, even to each other. But when presented with the facts and the knowledge that there is no third option, nothing that we can use to get out of whatever jam we're in, we just have to look at the cold hard facts.”

Lelouch realized couldn't argue with that logic. In fact, it made him love his partner even more for pointing out the obvious. How could he have been so blind? More over, how could he have worried about their argument last night with not a thought of the obviousness of the problem before them. Sometimes, the most simple solution was in front of them. He placed a hand on Suzaku's shoulder and squeezed it, making him turn and look at him. “Thank you...”

Suzaku returned the affectionate gesture with a squeeze of the hand that was on his shoulder before they let go as they walked into the mess hall for breakfast.

“I do have to say you really need to work on-”

“Don't ruin the moment,” Lelouch cut him off with a crooked smile. He was rewarded with a chuckle from his partner, lighting up the green eyes that he was falling in love with day by day. They were going to be all right.

* * *

The feeling of all right gave way to sheer embarrassment as their first virtual simulation in a Jaeger that morning – Romeo Blue incidentally – resulted in a spectacular faceplant into what was supposed to be the Proving Grounds of the virtual Academy. They emerged, red-faced to the hysterical laughter of the Gage twins and Nina merely sighing in exasperation. One of them managed to choke out that they did well for a first try and needed to be firmer in their steps like they were planting hooks into ice in order not to repeat what had just happened. With that advice, they were sent back in where they did a little better, managing to _walk_ Romeo Blue around the virtual Proving Grounds before they were asked to pick up the various virtual objects.

Grasping objects with the wrist-bound interface they had been given was a little harder. It wasn't as easy as pressing two fingers together. It felt like they were wearing heavy-duty plate mail gloves, their grip limited to a certain range of motion that they had to delicately control.

Lelouch finally understood what the puzzle testing was also for. Fine motor skills needed to translate well in order to manipulate the robotic fingers they now had. Everything was a little exaggerated, but in the end, they managed to crush everything in their fingers while stomping around the grounds, leaving a virtual field of broken weapons, boxes and all sorts of things including two deflated beach balls.

They left the simulator feeling like their minds had been pulled apart again and the Gages told them to take the afternoon off to recuperate. Still exhausted from the emotional highs and lows of yesterday's verbal spar to the morning's actual physical fight, they all but collapsed into their bed in the dorms, sleeping some of the exhaustion off.

When they awoke, it was mid-afternoon and they found themselves wandering the halls of the Academy. They peered into classrooms labs and simulators for the other parts of the program their friends had gone into. They spotted Milly and Rivalz in the middle of what looked like an intense lesson flying the simulator of a Jumphawk. Rivalz was holding the pilot stick while Milly was apparently giving instructions over the headset.

Leaving the two alone, they saw Shirley in another section of the building, taking notes for circuitry that looked oddly like the human body. It was only the instructor bringing up a hologram of a domed helmet with yellow-ish fluid in it that they realized she was training to be a drivesuit technician. Ohgi and Tamaki were also in her class, but the two of them looked rather dejected. Suzaku wondered out loud if the two had been planning to be Kallen and Naoto's technicians before the accident had happened. Lelouch suspected it was probably true.

The next stop was to a mockup of a LOCENT where they found Euphie in a simulated kaiju alert scenario. They watched from the observation windows, careful to not distract or disturb her as they sat and watch her go through protocols for Brawler Yukon's battle against Karloff. The sound piped in was pretty realistic as they listened, but Euphie's voice was steady even though she mixed up a few commands. She kept her composure, retracted previous commands and gave new ones. In the end, Brawler Yukon did defeat Karloff, but it was very close instead of the decisive battle that they had all seen on TV.

Euphie took her simulation score with good grace, pointing out the parts where she got confused and asking more questions of protocols and hypothetical. Lelouch was proud of her as he watched before someone seemingly pointed up at the observation window and Euphie turned, her expression confused before she waved, recognizing them.

They returned her silent greeting before she turned back to continue talking with her instructors. The two of them took their leave and returned back to the Jaeger section of the Academy.

“Do you think Kallen's up for a visit today?” Suzaku asked.

“We can check,” Lelouch replied. It felt good to just wander the campus and check in on their friends and their studies. His mind still felt a little like putty, but the feeling was starting to ease. He and Suzaku would probably be dead asleep tonight after lights out.

They made their way to the specialized infirmary wing that had been built as part of the Jaeger section of the Academy. Tohdoh had told them it had been built in case of emergencies like sudden brain hemorrhage or seizures that couldn't wait to be sent to the main campus' medical facilities. Consequently, it was also one of the most private places one could recover without anyone else knowing about it. They had tried to visit Kallen on Sunday, but she had not answered.

They entered the area and saw Dr. Lightcap sitting in front of a computer, the screen lighting a blue on her face.

“Oh, hey you two,” the doctor greeted. “I think she may be up for visitors today if you want. Ohgi and a couple of others were here this morning and she saw them.”

“Thanks, Doctor,” Lelouch replied as he stepped towards Kallen's door and knocked twice. “Kallen, it's Lelouch and Suzaku. Can we come in?”

“...Yes,” the answer was soft and muffled, but Lelouch heard it and opened the door.

Kallen was sitting in a day chair near a window. Though she was not injured, she was still dressed in hospital scrubs and she looked thin and pale. Dark circles ringed her blue eyes, giving her a very haunted look and her once bright red hair had seemingly dulled with the melancholic mood she was clearly expressing.

She turned at their entrance and attempted a smile that really did not reach anywhere near her eyes. “Hi...”

“Hi,” Suzaku stepped forward and pulled up to chairs for them to sit near her. “Can we?”

“Yeah...sure,” she replied. Gone was the cheerful forcefulness of her tone, replaced by a dull meekness that rubbed Lelouch the wrong way. He closed the door behind him and took the chair next to Suzaku's.

“I guess it's poor form to ask how are you, right?” Suzaku rubbed the back of his hair.

“Better, I guess,” Kallen shrugged. “They've given me some anti-depressants, but otherwise, I guess it's okay.” She attempted another smile. “They told me that most of the media storm over this whole thing has been swept under the rug and they're keeping the investigation under wraps so I guess that's helping me too.”

“Did they...”

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “Family's in Australia. Not sure if we needed to bring the Missus since she's as useless as a doorknob, but at least my mother can finally claim she saw a kangaroo.” She glanced at Suzaku, “Sorry to hear about _Tohdoh-sensei_ and _Nagisa-sensei_.”

“Yeah...” Suzaku shook his head. “Too much damage against Onibaba...”

There was an awkward silence before Kallen sighed. “How's training?”

Lelouch winced. Everything about this visit was rubbing him the wrong way and he didn't know if he should treat Kallen delicately because of her mindset, or treat her normally because of her mindset. So far, he had let Suzaku ask all of the questions, himself at a loss as to what to do.

“Training...is going well,” Suzaku replied rather reluctantly. “Err...”

“Guys, I'm not going to break here,” Kallen looked at them, the faint hint of her old personality coming through. “Losing N-Naoto hurts, but...”

Lelouch sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Kallen, it's been almost a week since the accident. You don't-” He stopped at the glare he received from her.

“And Naoto is _gone_ ,” she stated. “And I've got everyone pitying me each time they come and visit and ask me how I'm doing when all I want to do is scream. I want to move on, I want to do _something_ . I don't want to sit here with Naoto's phantom memories floating in me! Distract me or something, tell me how it goes! _Anything!_ ”

They sat there, stunned by her outburst.

Finally, after what seemed to be agonizingly long minutes, Lelouch opened his mouth. “We finished the puzzle sets-”

“ _Lelouch!_ ” Suzaku hissed, but he ignored his partner's warning.

“Turns out you actually need that fine tune to move on to the simulations,” he held Kallen's gaze, his purple eyes boring into her blue ones. Her lower lip trembled, but she held firm and nodded. “We just started them today actually. Thrown into Romeo Blue. Faceplanted our way into a virtual Jaeger Academy – the Gages were laughing their fucking heads off when we got out the first time. Seriously, for actual instructors, I wish I could give them feedback. Laughing like hyenas at students' misfortunes...”

He shook his head a little. “Anyways, got back in, got virtual Romeo Blue walking around and then in the virtual Proving Ground, there are these various objects, tires, inflated balloons, toy ships. Things that you don't really expect to show up on a battlefield, but definitely are part of an urban landscape. We're expected to pick them up without crushing them in our giant robotic hands.”

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yeah...crushed. All of it.”

“Well...it was your first time...” Kallen replied, her voice small. She looked down at her folded hands and he could see tears forming in the corner of her eyes. But they didn't fall as she sniffed loudly. She took a deep shuddering breath again before she mumbled her next words. “Thank you for coming...and telling me...”

It was as awkward of a dismissal as one, but Lelouch could see that the girl before him was exhausted just by the conversation. He stood up as did Suzaku.

“I'll come visit tomorrow, all right? Tell you more about our adventures in the virtual Jaeger world.”

“I'd...like that...” Kallen replied quietly.

Lelouch left her that way, the two of them walking out of her room and out of Dr. Lightcap's temporary office before he stopped, sensing that Suzaku wanted to say something. He turned.

“I don't think this is a good idea, Lelouch,” Suzaku shook his head, worry written all over his features.

“Me neither, but maybe telling her about this will help her move on?”

“I think it's more liable to make her miss her brother even more,” Suzaku looked away. “I saw some of this in Manila. It's not pretty. Most people can't cope with 'what ifs' bandied about. They just...break.” He threw his hands up helplessly and turned back. “Lelouch, if you're really going to visit her – and I'm not planning on stopping you – just be careful of what you're saying to her. The doctor's right, we don't know what's her mindset. For all we know she's about ready to teeter over the edge and we're helping her just by being there.”

“You think the two of us there is making her think about Naoto?”

“I wouldn't discount it. I mean...” he trailed off, looking at him with earnest eyes. “I feel for her, but I don't know if I want to be there tomorrow or after. It's...it's bringing back memories of Manila and I don't want us to hit a RABIT again like that and set us back.”

“We can confront it together-”

Suzaku smiled faintly and reached out to grasp his hand. He squeezed it. “I know...but just let me deal with this on my own for now, okay?”

Lelouch relented and nodded. “I trust you.”

“Thanks.”


	28. Jaeger Academy - Term 3 - Part IV

Week 3 ended without much fanfare as did Week 4. The start of Week 5 was a little more noise and interest as the Term 3 students watched the newest class of four-hundred an twenty-eight students congregate into the Kwoon for their orientation by Duc and Kaori Jessop. The pilots of Tacit Ronin were going to teach Term 1 and possibly Term 2 if all went well. All of the Term 3 students commented on how green the 2016-B class looked, but they did recognize some of their fellow A students that had not passed Term 1 in the new B class and were proud of their commitment to the fight.

Lelouch visited Kallen each day after simulations for about an hour or so, regaling her with their mishaps or victories. He and Suzaku had progressed from crushing everything in their simulated giant hands to actually successfully scooping up and grabbing objects as weapons. Then there was the weapons training with different Jaegers and the weapons systems they had. That had been the next challenge for Week 4. Once they mastered most of the weapons, it was the start of an actual simulated kaiju battle at the start of Week 5.

The Gage twins, contrary to Lelouch's disgruntled assessment as jokester hyenas, were merciless.

They immediately dropped them into Trespasser which had sent Lelouch's blood boiling and became half a nightmare of a RABIT and half of he and Suzaku coming close to wounding the kaiju. Both of them had come out of the rig sweating, shaking and nearly passing out from physical and emotional exhaustion. But as the Gages did their assessment, the twins both look proud at the death glare they received from Lelouch.

The next day, they simulated the battle against Trespasser again. It was no contest. Using Brawler Yukon, the old Jaeger's armaments had decimated the beast, felling it before it had the chance to crush San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge or the hundreds of Knightmares sent against it. Their subsequent – private – victory celebration had left Suzaku once again, weak at the knees and very breathless from a thorough kiss Lelouch planted on him.

And Lelouch enjoyed teasing his partner. He wanted to see how far he could go with Suzaku before hormonal instinct took over, but it seemed his partner was also determined to out stubborn his efforts with the stolen kisses and gentle unexpected ones that always made _him_ go weak.

It was mid-Week 6 and Lelouch had been visiting Kallen when the unexpected happened.

The red-haired teen had steadily progressed from sitting and lying around to moving around her recovery room, starting exercises again and studying pamphlets to decide her new career. He had been leaning against the wall, watching her go through her katas talking about the day's simulated battle against Onibaba and how Suzaku relished the chance to beat the living shit out of the kaiju that wrecked his hometown. The next thing he knew he was pressed up against the wall by two very strong hands and rough, but decidedly plump lips covering his own.

His mind screeched to a halt as he realized it was _Kallen_ who had pinned him up, her hands pressed against his biceps holding him to the wall. His next thought was that she was a _very_ good kisser. She tasted a little like strawberries, a small hint of the fruit she apparently had eaten recently. However, it was the thought after that, that stopped any sort of response his body could have reciprocated as he realized it was wrong. It was all _very wrong_.

She lifted her lips from his after a few seconds and he stared into her blue eyes. A faint smile was on her lips before she backed away some more and let go of him. He caught himself against the wall. “...W-What...” he managed to stutter out as he absently touched his lips.

Her smile looked sad. “I...wanted to do that once. Before I left.”

“Left?”

“I'm joining Dr. Lightcap for Pons research. Flying to Dallas tomorrow for orientation and accelerated classes. I want to see if there's a way to lessen some of the RABITs and pain one might feel in the Drift. It's what...I'm hoping it'll help me in the long run to cope with Naoto's death.”

Lelouch could only stare dumbly. It made sense.

Her smile grew a bit wider, but it still looked sad. “I wanted to see...if maybe...there could have been something between us, Lelouch.”

He distinctly remembered the poker game in which she had been asked who was her long-shot pairing and had avoided his look the whole time. Then there were the times she had blushed whenever he was near, but also the time where she had tried to treat him normally after Soresi's unprovoked attack.

Her smile twisted into a bitter one. “But...I know that ship has sailed. I just...wanted a little something to remember you by as you graduate.”

He blinked, staring at her.

She sighed and her smile disappeared all together, but her eyes shone with a brightness of respect. “You and Suzaku are going to do great things. I know it. The kaiju won't know what'll hit them when the two of you go out there.”

She took a step forward and cupped her hand to his cheek, stroking it. “Thank you, for not treating me like I am an invalid. Thank you for telling me all about your training in these past few weeks. I feel I can now move on past Naoto because I know what I want now.” She lifted her hand and stepped back again.

“My only advice? Don't waste the moments you're given. Don't live with regrets. Live your life to the fullest and be happy, Lelouch. The war's taken too much from us already. Don't let it take anymore.”

With that, she turned and left, leaving a very thoughtful Lelouch behind.

* * *

Kallen's words almost turned out to be ominously prophetic as the remaining members of the Class of 2016-A entered the last week and half of Term 3.

It was crunch time with far more studying and review of the material, but also of the final testing for all candidates. Jaeger simulations had become harder as they went through various scenarios from underwater fighting to using terrain – the terrain advantage term became a bit of an inside joke between Lelouch and Suzaku when they decided to use a nearby mountain, of all things, to crush a virtual Karloff. They were tested on their abilities to sortie fast, to react to unexpected situations when failure happened in the conn-pod or weapons didn't work right.

The other candidates underwent similar grueling tests for their chosen positions so it was more common to see them congregate in the nearby town's watering hole for a couple of hours of relaxation and of drinks before hitting the books once again.

Lelouch and Suzaku had been off-campus twice in Term 3. They understood why the rules were relaxed a little for all Term 3 students – it was hard. Harder than Terms 1 and 2. Like all students who were close to graduating, there was a sense of urgency, a sense to finish, but also a sense to enjoy themselves while still cocooned by the rules that protected them.

Once Term 3 ended, they would be full-fledged PPDC officers; for the teenagers, they became adults into the war that would consume their waking and sleeping hours. For the adults, back to the realities of the frontlines after what was a six-month respite.

For Lelouch, he really didn't quite know what happened, but the first uneasy feeling he felt sent him wandering from their shared dorm to searching for his partner. He had been studying their virtual battle telemetry, trying to figure out new strategies he wanted to try in the simulators against the kaijus that they kept facing. He had declined the invite by Euphie and the others to take a break at the local watering hole, but Suzaku had gone with a vague wave of Lelouch's hand. He knew his partner still held a lot of affection for Euphie and he while he was selfish enough to not suggest a triad, he still didn't deny his half-sister the chance for some measure of her own happiness in a courtly friendship with Suzaku.

He had a vague sense of where Suzaku was, their bond deepening day by day, but the sense of dread roiled his stomach as he stumbled through the halls. It was only when Euphie met him near the front halls with a serious expression that he knew something was definitely wrong.

“What...” he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a wave of unexplained dizziness pass by him, but managed to open them as Euphie took his hands into hers.

“He's fine, Lulu, he's fine,” she murmured quietly before placing an arm around him and guiding him down the hall. He vaguely recognized it as the one to the main infirmary.

“Euphie-”

“He's fine. We got him out of there before even I think he realized what had happened. Rivalz spotted it first. He's saying he recognizes the signs because of something that happened to one of the Ashford students. He and Shirley took him back, Milly is running interference control right now and Nina's getting the Gages and Dr. Lightcap-”

“Euphie-” the dread combined with the dizziness was really doing a number on his equilibrium as he fought to keep himself from passing out. It was as if his world was spinning like a top. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt his half-sister tighten her grip around his waist.

“The docs are going to clean his system out-” she stopped as he tripped over his own feet. “Oh Lulu, I didn't believe it until now...but you're really feeling some of it aren't you-”

“What's...happening?” Lelouch managed to crack open his eyes as the dizziness passed. “Where's...what happened to Suzaku?”

But his question was answered as they stumbled into the infirmary. He saw Suzaku, laid out on one of the beds, eyes closed, face pale and sweating, a grimacing pained look on his face. A few of the nurses were setting up IV lines and taking his blood pressure. Near him was Rivalz with the angriest expression he had ever seen on the teen's face while Shirley was nervously looking at Suzaku.

Lelouch must have made some kind of noise as they turned. One of the nurses immediately rushed over to him and flashed a pen light into his eyes. He shied away, tripping over his own feet combined with another wave of dizziness that assaulted him. It was only Euphie catching him and falling to the ground to hold his weight that the nurse immediately barked out several orders which sounded quite muddled in his ears.

It was like someone had dunked him underwater at the same time slowed the passage of time. He was vaguely aware of himself being suddenly lifted up and placed onto a bed, right next to Suzaku, but then someone reached his hand out and laid it on top of his partner's limp ones and it suddenly felt _right_.

He instinctively tightened his grip on Suzaku's hand, desperately holding on. He shut his eyes against another wave of dizziness before someone was gingerly holding his other hand and what might have been Euphie's voice, but sounded a little like his mother's, was singing softly in his ear. Everything faded then, but Lelouch only had one thought in his head was that Suzaku was next to him and he was next to Suzaku and everything was _right_.

* * *

When Lelouch next awoke, light was still shining into the windows of the infirmary and there were hushed murmured voices beyond a privacy curtain that had been drawn around him and Suzaku. He turned his head, his mouth feeling quite cotton-like and dry. Suzaku was lying on the bed next to him, but had instinctively curled towards him as he had with him. One of their hands was joined together and his friend still looked deathly pale and an unhealthy sheen of sweat lined his face, but the pain was gone, replaced by the steady smooth lines of a peaceful slumber.

He briefly traced his partner's sleeping face with his eyes, wanting to reach out and give him the same gentle kisses he had received in the mornings that always managed to leave him yearning for more. But he restrained himself and turned back.

Just what had happened?

“...Hey...” Euphie's voice was quiet and he turned to his opposite side to see her head full of volumous pink hair was facing down.

“...Euphie...” he greeted. “How-”

“Two hours right now...but the doctors say the drugs are being successfully flushed out of his system and he's showing no signs of adverse reactions or any allergies to what they gave him. He'll be fine in another couple of hours.”

“What happened?”

Euphie grimaced, but before she could answer, the privacy curtain was drawn back slightly and Lelouch turned to see Dr. Lightcap entering. The Gage twins were shadowing her, but they hung back. Both had serious expressions on their faces.

“To put it mildly and from what your friends have told me, Suzaku was given an illicit drug in his drink while they were talking.”

Lelouch blinked. He glanced over to his sleeping partner, utterly bewildered. He _knew_ Suzaku was very cautious and protective about his drinks, more of a germaphobe than anything else when it came to sharing liquids. Food was another story, but if Suzaku stole or shared food, it was usually farthest from what a person had already ate.

“That...doesn't make sense...”

“Euphie said the same,” Dr. Lightcap smiled slightly. “But we're looking into that particular oddity. What we do know from testimony and what we need to confirm once Suzaku is awake and feeling better is that apparently there was a very aggressive Jaeger Fly that kept hitting on the various members of the group. We're also looking into this girl's background. We're currently running with the speculation that she's really just a harmless Jaeger Fly who is obsessed with anything to do with the Academy and might have spotted Suzaku as a pilot candidate.”

“You can identify them?”

Euphie winced. “You guys did get a bit of a swagger like the Gages here when you qualified into Term 3. The LOCENT folks kind of poke fun about that, saying you're all act like hotshot fighter pilots. If this Jaeger Fly has been observing class after class, she probably has seen that too.”

“Was it Refrain?” he asked bluntly. He absolutely detested the drug that took so many people's lives, especially in resistant Areas. It turned useful members of society into nothing but destitute people who couldn't live with themselves.

Lightcap shook her head. “Thankfully, no.”

“Our initially conclusion is that this girl, whomever she is, is a harmless, but rather aggressive Jaeger Fly. She has been booked by the locals on charges of illicit drug use, but since there wasn't anything done other than spiking Suzaku's drink, we really can't press charges,” Lightcap sighed.

Lelouch looked away, knowing she was right. As much as he wanted to potentially figure out a loophole and press charges – something along the lines of endangering the potential lives of millions by drugging his partner who was going to pilot a Jaeger – there really wasn't much of a case. Rivalz's quick actions ensured that nothing untoward might have happened to Suzaku and there was also the case made that they had all gone into town on their own volition knowing that the place was populated by Jaeger Flies. They had to be careful around those they didn't know now...that much was clear. It wasn't to the point of paranoia, but it was a clear warning and lesson that this was only a taste of what the world was like when they graduated.

And Lelouch realized it was not only just their countries perceptions of him and Suzaku. It would be _everyone_ , right down to the Jaeger Fly that thought she could do whatever she wanted with his partner if drugged. Was it to have sex with him? Get him to confess something? Maybe she learned who he was? Maybe she hated Japanese like Naoto's killer Thompson hated Jaeger Flies and potentially took it out on a Jaeger Academy student? All questions he wished he could answer, but all filled with baseless speculation and ones that would drive him mad if he kept thinking of it.

He sighed and felt Euphie squeeze his hand in return. He looked back up at Dr. Lightcap who seemed a little relieved that he was not going to press the issue. The corner of his lips quirked up in a crooked smile.

“I really am that much of a pain in the ass?”

Lightcap, to her credit grinned.

“Yes,” she replied, mirroring his blunt tone. “I'll be honest and I hope this doesn't inflate your ego. I _wanted_ you on my team after seeing some of your theories. Dr. Asplung and Chawla wanted you on their teams. We fought like cats and dogs over it. Hell, Marshal Tohdoh wanted a new position created just so we can use your brain power. I think the request offended Prince Schneizel since Euphie cleared it up for us that you and he used to play a lot of chess. You're a smart kid, Lelouch when you put your mind to your studies and certain things. You _and_ Suzaku are going to help us immensely in this war. You just have this one slightly tiny problem. Your ego and your habit of a singular goal.”

Lelouch laughed lightly.

“So in this case, we knew you'd go searching for facts, searching for reasons, searching for 'why' and we knew you wouldn't stop until you were satisfied or whomever became your enemy got grounded into dust beneath your boot.”

“Wow,” he raised an eyebrow.

Lightcap's smile turned a little crooked. “Harsh, I know, but apt for a man who verbally claims he's no longer a Prince of Britannia, but sure as hell acts like one.”

“Habits,” he replied dryly.

“Uh huh. Habits that will help us,” the doctor nodded. She gestured with her chin and eyes towards his and Suzaku's entwined hands. “There's also the fact that you've just encountered a very mild version of the ghost Drift.”

“That's a mild version?” Lelouch was surprised. He had thought that the vague senses he had been getting from Suzaku, seemingly knowing where he was or his moods at times was the ghost Drift.

“Mild,” one of the twins stepped forward. “Post-Combat Drift is going to feel a lot different. That's why we have the Ranger Protocols set up and every single person that is on your Jaeger team needs to memorize its procedures. Princess J-Tech here is well-versed on it and immediately went to find you and when the doctors and nurses here recognized your symptoms, that's when all of this was set up.”

“I don't feel...much of anything,” he confessed.

“That's because its probably faded a little from the initial emotional response and also because the kid here is out like a light,” the other twin, Trevin, spoke up.

Lelouch glanced back over at Suzaku's sleeping form and nodded absently. He turned back to the instructors and the doctor. “So...I take it I get to skip classes for today?”

Everyone snorted and laughed before one of the Gage twins, Bruce, rolled his eyes. “Oh, he's going to fit in just fine, Trev. Might put more white in Tohdoh's hair if we can somehow finagle him to be assigned to the Tokyo Shatterdome.”

“Oh...evil, but yes,” Trevin nodded. However, he turned to look at Lelouch. “Once Suzaku wakes up, we'll evaluate. But yes, for now, no classes for today. Tomorrow, back to cracking the whip. Gotta get you boys graduated and out onto a Jaeger!”

* * *

Suzaku did wake up a few hours later, groggy, but content and curled up into Lelouch's side. He didn't seem to care he was in a hospital bed, but rather had merely apologized for being stupid. He also confirmed to the Gages and Lightcap the story about the aggressive Jaeger Fly and her apparent obsession with everything Jaeger Academy and Jaegers. There wasn't anything else said about that incident, but the lesson learned by both of them was that this was only the beginning. The world's eyes was slowly turning on them and the protective grounds of the Academy that had held them was going to let them loose upon the world.

* * *

Graduation day came for the Class of 2016-A.

A bittersweet affair with all of the trials and tribulations they had underwent in the past six months. A party was held on the Proving Grounds for the graduates, toasting their two pilot pairs that had made it while honoring the one pair that had been horribly split by tragedy.

But for Lelouch and Suzaku, they were no where to be found among the celebrants. Instead, Lelouch had taken Kallen's sage advice to live their lives to the fullest and to not waste one minute on regrets. His seduction of his partner with trailing kisses into their dorm room resulted in the mutual agreement of finally having sex.

The act between them was long and slow. A lesson from Suzaku to his partner for Lelouch's first experience. With a gentleness that belied his fierce fighting style, Suzaku taught his dominant hemisphere the art of making love and of pleasure. Lelouch for his part, was a quick learner, knowledge gleaned from the bits and pieces of body memory and of Drifting with his partner and lover for weeks on end; able to reciprocate in a manner that left both parties sated in the end.

As they bathed in the post-coital bliss of their first time together, Lelouch was at peace; his face curled into the warmth of Suzaku's chest, his arm draped across his waist possessively. They would face the world tomorrow as Rangers, but for tonight, they were just simply Lelouch and Suzaku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends Jaeger Academy chapters. We now return to your regularly scheduled angst.
> 
> Note: No chapter on Sun. 7/19. I'm introducing the continuation story of the Jaeger Program's Golden Years that day - to be called "The Monsters They Hunt". Next chapter of this story to be posted on Tues. 7/21 (also give everyone some breathing room before we dive back into Suzaku's angst-ridden mindset).


	29. Chapter 29

The first thing that Suzaku was aware of was the harsh, acrid chemical-like smell that assaulted his nostrils. The second was the overtly loud steady beeping sound that grated against his ears. He winced, trying to move to cover his ears when he finally noticed a heavy, warm weight that leaned against the left side of his body. He blearily cracked open his eyes, the harsh sounds slowly resolving into coherency.

He was in the infirmary, again.

A soft sigh escaped his lips. A part of him realized he would probably have to get used to the walls, sounds and lights of the infirmary after piloting Gipsy Danger. The other part of him wondered how badly he had injured himself in the fight.

He turned to his left, looking away from the bright lights and the dark green privacy curtain and stiffened. Well, that explained why he felt something heavy and warm –  _familiar_ . An unbidden smile graced his lips as he stared at the mop of silky black hair on the head that was positioned near the crook of his left arm. Swaths of bandages wrapped around parts of Lelouch's head, but what was more comforting was that his partner was haphazardly draped over him, one of his arms thrown over his stomach deftly avoiding the bandages that wrapped around his ribs, the hand curled almost possessively on his hip. It was familiar, comforting and reminded him of times long ago.

But those thoughts were quickly chased by the incredible wave of hurt, humiliation, pain and anger as he stared at his partner's sleeping form.  _ How dare he _ \- the thought ran like a mantra through Suzaku's head as he stared at Lelouch. He could feel tears of furious anger forming at the corner of his eyes at the utter callous way he had been seemingly thrown aside. If Lelouch had been  _ alive _ for all these years? How come-

Had Lelouch abandoned him? Left him alone for all these years because- Suzaku squeezed his eyes shut and threw an arm over his own face as he tried to keep the terrifying notion and silent sob that had been forming confined. The rush of feelings he had felt in the conn-pod after that god-awful RABIT of Knifehead and subsequent reveal of  _ whom _ he had been Drifting with was overwhelming him.

Incredible joy, mingled with incredible rage. His bond frayed, but renewed. He wanted nothing more than to go and beat the living shit out of his friend. But he also wanted to fuck Lelouch senseless. He knew that particular want was fueled by his hormones, the ghost Drift  _ and _ close proximity; to make love him and let him know just how much he had been missed, to kiss him in all of his favorite places, hear him pant his name as he came-

And to punch him to the bottom of the Breach because how the fuck could he abandon him like that?! How the fuck did Lelouch justify leaving him to the throes of grief and of his last unspoken thoughts to  _ live _ , when he himself was here right in the bed with him?! That he had lived, but had not really  _ moved on _ in the five miserable years. That he had been left suicidal and it was only because he clung onto Lelouch's last thoughts – to live – that he had not offed himself in the aftermath.

He clenched his teeth and forced himself to breath, one deep breath after another. He was going to end up working himself into a hysterical mess at this rate and he didn't-

“...Hey...”

Suzaku nearly lost it. It was the  _ exact _ same tone he remembered from when they had just finished test syncing to a whopping eighty-eight percent on their first try. “...Hey...” he croaked back, unwilling to open his eyes because he didn't want to see. He was so afraid-

The barest of breath against his bandaged arm made him twitch. “...Sorry...” Lelouch's voice was quiet.

Suzaku sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, his own throat constricting. He could feel the regret bleeding into the ghost Drift. And he knew it was his own volatile emotions that had more than likely woken his partner up. Still, he was glad at least that neither one of them had moved yet.

“...Please stop saying that,” he whispered tightly.

Lelouch was quiet for a few minutes. Then Suzaku felt the hand that had been curled around his waist move a little, tightening ever so slightly at the same time, he felt the silk strands of hair moving a little up his arm. “You're angry...” Lelouch's voice sounded a little less muffled and he supposed his partner had lifted his head.

_ Ya think?! _ He shot the dark thought across their bond, but there wasn't any reaction.

“Suzaku...can...can you look at me? Please? I...I want to explain...”

Suzaku pressed his lips tightly together, forcing himself to breath in and out in a steady rhythm. It was after the fifth breath that he lowered his arm and opened his eyes. Lelouch looked like a wounded angel above him. The bandages had been wrapped tightly around a part of his head, but the strands had come a little loose. His face was still the same, but there was distinctive scar that ran along his throat, dangerously near his carotid artery. However, what was odd was that while Lelouch's eye were always a brilliant deep purple – like pretty amethysts he had once thought when he had fallen in love with him long ago – there was something like an extra layer of sorts in the left eye.

He unconsciously reached out with his free hand, but it was caught by Lelouch's own and set back down. His partner's lips twitched in an approximation of a sad smile. “It's...part of it.”

Suzaku merely stared for a few seconds before gingerly pushing himself up. He felt Lelouch also disentangling himself somewhat from their old sleeping habits, but as he hunched forward, wincing as he felt his ribs protest his movement, he couldn't help himself but look at his best friend. Silvery-white welts, similar to the ones that Lelouch had on his fingers now appeared like patches over parts of his body that wasn't covered in bandages.

“I think you cracked your ribs and I got a concussion,” Lelouch said quietly. “We're on light drugs, because of the ghost Drift and because of the concussion.”

“It's..quiet in here,” Suzaku murmured as he tentatively reached out with a finger to lightly hover over one of the silvery-white patches.

“C.C. probably cleared the ward or swore the doctors to secrecy,” Lelouch replied, his eyes focused on a distance beyond the drawn green privacy curtains. He turned back and looked at the finger that was lightly hovering over the patch. “You can touch it...”

It felt...rough, but filmy. Like it wasn't quite real. He could feel the nerves underneath the filmy skin jump a little at his touch.

“Frostbite burns,” Lelouch said. “Arctic waters.”

Suzaku drew his finger back. He didn't need to know that Lelouch's suit in the aftermath of Knifehead was probably as damaged as his own if not more judging by the myriad of patches he saw. Some he supposed were hidden under bandages or marred the bruises that littered their bodies after their most recent fight.

“Is that why you wear gloves?” He asked.

“Partially,” Lelouch held out his hands, rotating them absently. “Some of the nerve endings are dead from over exposure, or over sensitized from it, but it's not as bad on my hands as it is everywhere else.”

“The cold's gotta be bad then,” the words fell from Suzaku's mouth as he remembered his friend  _ hated _ the cold and would bundle up whenever he got the chance. He had chalked it up to a quirk and thought that when they had started sleeping together, even before they had sex, Lelouch was just not used to the cold and a warm body next to him would help, but it turned out Lelouch absolutely detested any form of cold and bundled up. He was really not suited for Kodiak Island or Anchorage Shatterdome. He supposed the consolation was that when they did have sex, all clothing would come off and Lelouch did not care he was naked afterwards, even with just the two of them and a thin sheet.

Lelouch carefully shrugged as he dropped his hands to his lap. “C.C. found me in the waters after Knifehead. I...don't remember much, I think I was delirious for the most part. Bond broken, suddenly couldn't feel you, thought you were dead, hypothermia, all sorts of things.”

“You make it sound so fucking simple,” Suzaku bit out, glaring at his friend who looked down.

“The only thing I remember is that I wanted to live. After everything, I wanted to live. I...didn't want to die,” he continued quietly. “And so C.C. offered me a price and a new way to live.”

“ _They got smarter,” he watched her carefully as she sat down. His violet eyes met her golden ones. “They knew-”_

“ _They know. And I will tell you how,” C.C. replied. “And I will tell you how it relates to the Power of Kings you now hold.”_

“This...power of kings?” Suzaku remembered the brief memory flash.

Lelouch nodded carefully, head still bowed. Suzaku realized that beside a concussion, his partner probably suffered some whiplash and his neck was more than likely very sore. He looked up, his lips pursed for a moment before reaching up with one of his elegantly long hands and gestured towards his left eye. “I was granted the power of a Geass in exchange for my life.”

Suzaku stared. He remembered what Akito had said with the red rimmed eyes flashing occasionally as his own command to die took hold. “You have a Geass?”

Lelouch's lips twitched in an approximation of his normal smirk, but he shook his head. “Akito?”

“How did you guess?”

“Geass users and those with Geass cast upon them have...a connection if you want to call it. It's not like Drifting, but it's like a hum, an itch in the back of your head.”

“Like sync testing?”

“Close enough,” Lelouch replied.

“Wait, Geass users and those with Geass cast upon them?” Suzaku blinked, confused.

The half-smile, a sardonic almost devil-may-care one, that had been thrown at him the first time and what had made him slowly fall in love with the man in front of him appeared on Lelouch's lips. Suzaku refused the sudden urge to kiss it away, keeping his anger and fury in check. He really was  _ hating _ that Lelouch's presence was making him feel a torrent of highs and lows and combined with the effects of the post-combat ghost Drift in full force...

“I was given a Geass to cast it upon any person,” Lelouch explained patiently. “Akito is the opposite. His Geass was cast upon him.”

“By his brother?”

“Is that who it was?” Lelouch asked and Suzaku frowned.

“Whatever-”

“I will take it into full confidence,” his friend said, but somehow Suzaku didn't quite believe him. He also cursed himself for falling so easily into one of Lelouch's verbal traps.

“So...what is it? A command to die like Akito's?”

“If it has to be,” Lelouch replied easily. Suzaku knew he should be horrified, but as he stared at his friend, he also knew that either one of them could easily kill if need be. The long years of war had changed them, hardened them. There was also the fact that he was reminded that Lelouch  _ was _ Zero. And there were rumors surrounding Zero.

“You did it, didn't you?” He countered, noting with some grim satisfaction that Lelouch looked surprised at his question; was if he was not expecting it.

“Yes.”

“Who.”

“I-”

“ _ Who _ ,” Suzaku demanded.

His partner stared at him and he met the look with one of his own. “Clovis, a couple hundred of Britannian foot soldiers, a few Knightmare pilots, some members of Valkyrie Squadron, Knight of Four Dorothea Ernst, Knight of Twelve Monica Krushevsky, Kewell Soresi, do you need me to go on?”

“Can you?” Suzaku narrowed his eyes a little. The body count was apparently  _ very _ high for whatever price Lelouch was paying for this Geass. It also at least confirmed to him that Field Marshal Clovis la Britannia was apparently assassinated – by Lelouch as Zero nonetheless.

“It is not just giving them the command to die. My Geass gives me the power to give one single command to follow. To kill for me, to die for me, even to dance, sing, what have you.”

“Single use?”

“Single instance on a person,” he clarified and gestured again towards his left eye. “Eye contact must be maintained and cannot have a screen, helmet, or anything interfering. That is part of the limits of this contract I signed.”

“Contract...”

“Contract,” Lelouch confirmed. “And also why I am wearing a contact lens so I  _ don't _ accidentally Geass you.”

“Why?! Because you care?!”

Lelouch looked down again, quiet, but Suzaku had heard enough.

“You  _ left _ me. For five fucking years! You left me out there, in the cold thinking  _ you were dead _ . You left me,” he pointed to his own head, “with the last thought to live for the both of us. I  _ wanted _ to die, Lelouch. Do you hear me?! I wanted to die, I didn't  _ want _ to live in a world where you weren't there! Do you  _ know _ what it fucking feels like to think you were dead?! Do you-”

“I thought you  _ were _ dead!” Lelouch suddenly lifted his head, a pained grimace on his features, but his violet eyes were volcanic and furious. “I didn't know you lived until I was  _ told _ they were keeping an eye on you! I didn't know for the longest time! All I learned was Gipsy Danger somehow made it to shore and then you were dismissed! And I didn't know that until I started this campaign as Zero!”

“And you still didn't come find me?! What a load of fucking bullshit, Lelouch!”

Lelouch reeled back as if he had been slapped, but his voice was small. “...And I regret it...so much. Even now...I regret not finding you earlier. Not reaching out- I...” He trailed off, burying his face in one of his hands as a broken laugh emerged from his lips. “C.C. was right...that damn witch is always right.”

Suzaku bristled at the mention of the green-haired woman. “Why not take fucking ownership then Lelouch? Isn't that what you've always said? Hypocrite.”

Lelouch lowered his hand and shot him a dark look. “I did take ownership. What the fuck do you think I've been doing for the last few years?”

“Murdering your way through the Britannian army sounds like it,” he spat back.

“And for good reason,” his friend countered.

“Why?! What possibly reason do you have? The kaiju are our enemy-”

“Damn straight, but it's part of my contract and that is something I will  _ never _ tell you-”

“I'll find it in the fucking Drift you asshole,” he countered.

“No you won't,” Lelouch replied. “I'll make sure of it.”

“Goddammit, Lelouch, why is it so fucking hard to tell me this?! Why? You're fucking alive! What could possibly be more important than that?!”

Lelouch's face crumpled for a brief moment, as if the truth was being pulled out of his very soul and he was fighting with every bit to not let it go. The battle was over even before it started as he stared at him.

“You. Your life.”

It was said so quietly, yet so full of emotion that it took Suzaku a moment to process the words to realize that Lelouch meant him. He shook his head.

“If...” he started, his voice rough, “if you cared about me that much, please...tell me why? Why didn't you bring me back earlier? Why are you attempting to protect me like this by doing this? Why?”

Suzaku ran a hand roughly through his hair. “I was so...lonely. I...didn't know how to move on. I don't think I wanted to. I just wanted you back. I...don't know how or why or even when, but you broke me, Lelouch. I was your Knight, I was yours. And...now...” He couldn't finish, his emotions spent, the rawness of everything leaving him so drained that all he could do was just bare his own soul to his lover and partner. He didn't feel naked anymore, just exhausted, worn, stretched so thinly that he had nothing else to give.

The silence between them stretched, taunt, painful. He felt his partner's eyes on him, evaluating, calculating, staring at him – maybe through him. Suzaku didn't know anymore. It just hurt so much.

“...I have no right to ask this of you, after...everything, but can you trust me one last time?” Lelouch asked reluctantly and Suzaku looked up, his gaze dull, broken from everything. In the ghost Drift, their bond echoed keenly a sad note. Regrets, mingled with a sad sort of love.

“I will tell you,” his friend said, “but I can't. Not now. Not until I am sure of a few things and have a certain type of device upon me.” He sighed quietly. “You are what's important to me. You, your life. But I can't tell you anymore than that. You've always been important to me. I...didn't want to risk putting you in the cross-hairs of what I've been planning at all, but this...” he gestured towards the two of them. “Gipsy...”

“You wanted me to partner with someone else,” Suzaku's lips twisted sadly.

“Yeah,” Lelouch replied, “because you were a late addition to my plan, but we had no other choice. We had to bring you in because you were one of the only ones left that could pilot Gipsy, that knew her. We lost so many Jaegers in the past year that rebuilding and activating Gipsy just for this plan to work was a last resort.”

“Operation Pitfall.”

“Operation Pitfall. The Gages were supposed to be the team. Then...they fell covering Seattle. My plan wasn't to bring you back. My plan was to launch this, most likely die in the process, and let you live your life onward without knowing that I had been alive.” He rubbed his eyebrow. “My plan didn't include me going back into Gipsy with you.”

“Don't fucking blame me-”

“I blame my own weakness,” Lelouch replied with some honesty that surprised Suzaku. A faint smile appeared on Lelouch's lips. “Don't look so surprised, Suzaku. I'm only human.”

“I couldn't tell there was a human lying next to me,” he shot back, his furious anger now simmering underneath the resentment and hurt was feeling. He felt a small well of satisfaction at seeing Lelouch flinch a little before he seemingly moved past it with an intake of breath.

“I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, Suzaku-”

“I'm not forgiving you-”

“And I know I don't deserve you, or any of this,” he gestured between them, “but I just...wanted you to know part of why I did all of this.”

“And you really can't tell me the real reason? Why you're hiding it?”

“Not until I confirm a few things and make sure we can't be overheard,” Lelouch looked at him plainly.

“And what's wrong with all of this?” Suzaku gestured around them. “Clearly if someone was listening in, they'd know you're alive and you have a plan and all sorts of things.”

“I can't...it's not worth your life,” Lelouch shook his head.

“And yours is so easily worthless that you were planning to die – again, I might add – without letting me know? Without giving me that chance to say goodbye?”

Lelouch sucked in a breath, genuine hurt springing to his eyes. But Suzaku was relentless as he stared at his partner. After a few seconds, Lelouch opened his mouth once, closed it before swallowing heavily and opening his mouth again.

“Ah...I...uh...I see.”

For the first time in his life, Suzaku could not believe that his best friend was at a loss for words.

“I...um...we can...still be co-pilots, I suppose, maybe not as  _ partners _ -”

And that was when Suzaku realized that Lelouch – in all of his idiocy and analytical nature that he loved so dearly – had  _ really _ misinterpreted his words. He lurched forward, grabbing a fistful of the bandages that was loosely bound onto Lelouch's chest and pulled him close. He didn't even bother acknowledging the muffled gasp of pain that had come from his lover as he kissed him deeply.

Lelouch's lips tasted the same as he remembered as he closed his eyes, remembering and delighting in every single contour, every single fold of the skin. He felt the initial surprise of resistance before Lelouch all but melted in his arms, the kiss deepening as it was reciprocated. Just when Suzaku felt he couldn't breathe anymore, he pulled back, breathless as he stared at him. Lelouch's expression was one of pure surprise, the same ones that he enjoyed each time he stole kisses from him. He could feel a certain part of his body responding to the searing kiss, but put it out of his mind. Now was not the time.

“I don't  _ ever _ want to say goodbye to you. Not now, not ever,” he whispered, tightening his grip on the bandages. “I don't  _ ever _ want to feel that way again so if you think of offing yourself in your stupid plan without me, I will find you and kill you myself, do I make myself clear? You don't get to choose how  _ I _ want to leave you. I get to choose that. Knifehead didn't give us that choice. We have it now.”

Lelouch stared at him, stunned. His pupils wide enough that Suzaku could see the faint outline of the contact in his left eye. He was silent for a few seconds before he whispered back. “We have it now.”

Suzaku leaned forward again and gave him a gentler kiss, this one sweet and simple. As they parted again, he looked deep into his lover's eyes. “I love you, but I still don't forgive you. I still want to kick your ass six ways to Sunday and probably fuck you afterwards, but I trust you. That should be enough for now, all right?”

“Thank you,” Lelouch's reply was sincere and Suzaku felt the hum of truth and contentment in their bond.

It wasn't perfect, but it was a start.

* * *

“You're different than my expectations, Suzaku Kururugi,” the voice was pitched light, high, but had an ancient power behind it that made the hairs on the back of Suzaku's neck stand up.

He turned to see the mysterious green-haired woman known as C.C. unceremoniously flopping down gracelessly into a chair that was next to his and Lelouch's shared bed. She was dressed in the PPDC PT clothing, which was supposed to be mostly formless, but somehow it accentuated her curves. She was definitely a woman, that much was for sure. No one could have breasts and buttocks that curvy.

“Like what you see?” His eyes turned up to her face and her smile was all teeth. Her golden eyes however, smoldered with an emotion he really couldn't identify. It was as if she was attempting to both seduce him and rip him to pieces. A rather formidable combination.

“Sorry,” he apologized with a brief nod. “I didn't mean to stare.”

“And definitely different from my expectations,” C.C.'s teeth-filled smile became a little less predatory. She snorted and pulled her knees up and curled into it with a stuffed semi-flat yellow thing of sorts wedged in between her thighs and ample chest. “You really love him that much.”

“What?”

“He gave me the same exact look you had when he first woke up. Then easily dismissed me and my charms as if he was not affected. I'll admit, I was a little baffled, but now I'm starting to see the full picture.”

Suzaku blinked. “You're...not making sense.”

“People keep telling me that,” C.C. replied with an impish smile. She leaned forward a little bit. “Hmm...what if I were to tell you that he and I were partners? Accomplices?”

Suzaku turned briefly to look across the medical ward to where Dr. Croomy was examining Lelouch's injuries in a semi-private setting. The blue-haired woman had been apparently assigned to them by Tohdoh's orders. Suzaku had at first, though that it was another secret the doctor had been hiding from him, but she defied his expectations with the furious look in her eyes when she had entered to check up on them. It had been further confirmed when the first things out of her mouth were inaudible whispered hisses towards Lelouch in the beginning of his examination.

Suzaku had felt the flare of guilt followed by anger and maybe a little denial before some resignation leaked through their ghost Drift. A part of him was viciously glad his partner was paying for his deception. The other part of him wanted to be resigned to what had happened and forgive Lelouch for everything so that he didn't have to be subjected to what was going to be a cyclical and long-running wave of Lelouch more than likely apologizing – or not apologizing as Suzaku suspected that his friend was most likely going to do considering how proud he was – for his actions for the last five years.

So far, not forgiving Lelouch was winning – and it was something Suzaku clung onto. He trusted Lelouch, but forgiving him for the last five years. He honestly could not.

He turned back to the golden-eyed woman. Lelouch had called her a witch and it was not the first time he had heard her mention the word 'accomplice' in context of whatever her relationship was with Lelouch. Suzaku shrugged. “If you're trying to provoke me or something, I honestly don't know. I mean...I'm his Drift partner, I used to be his lover. We were – maybe still are – best friends, but it's been five years. I...don't know.”

She snorted quietly, a small smile that looked quite genuine on her lips appearing. “You really are defying my expectations, Kururugi.”

“Can I ask what they are?”

“Yes, but I'm not telling you,” she replied. “But I can see now why he picked you.”

“Are you...” Curiosity got the best of him and he swallowed past his reservations. “Did you-”

“Asking for a threesome? He did tell me of your preferences,” C.C.'s smile had turned a little cat-like. “It wouldn't be the first time I've been used in a such a way.”

Suzaku immediately frowned. “Used?”

She shrugged as if it was no consequence. “I've lived a long life. Some times things just are the way they are.”

“But that doesn't mean you should not have a choice.” If C.C. was implying what he thought she was implying- He did not want to think that someone had taken advantage of her even though she was practically exuding sex appeal in the most formless of the PPDC uniforms.

She laughed quietly. “You are a gentleman. And quite honorable.” Her cat-like smile disappeared and she nodded at him. “Your rewarded, my Knight: no. I was testing you. You can be assured that my contract with him has not been sullied in such a way. There is too much respect between us and respect for you to engage in such base animal instinct like fucking each other.”

Suzaku tilted his head as he studied her and the way she was sitting. He saw truth in her words, yet... “You love him,” he stated. “But...you respect him too much to cross that line and...” He glanced over to Lelouch before looking back at her. “He knows it.”

This time she did laugh, a slightly louder one that brought Dr. Croomy and Lelouch's heads towards them. Suzaku waved towards them to continue their examination before he turned back. He realized that he had surprised her with his insight and tapped his head. “I've lived in the head of a very brilliant and observant man for a little over four years, C.C.”

“Again, defying my expectations,” she replied.

“Can I ask about your contract with him?” he said. Her replies were circular and it was a little irritating, but he also knew he had to take advantage of her presence while Lelouch was not involved in this particular conversation.

“You can ask, but you may not get the answers you seek,” C.C. replied, her head tilted in a manner that made him wonder if she ever had any type of neck strain.

Suzaku looked down for a second, gathering his thoughts. He looked back up. “Anyone else know?”

“No,” C.C. replied, “except for two other individuals. He may have referenced them.”

Suzaku was no stranger to oblique references or hidden meanings. In the years they were together, he had pretty much gotten a very good education and gist on not only the way Lelouch operated, but also of the royal Britannian family's ways. While he knew his view was quite colored and biased, he also understood that Lelouch – with the exception of Schneizel – was one of the most adept at playing the so-called game that mired Britannian politics and family matters.

Rivalz and Naoto had been correct long ago when they realized that they might have embroiled themselves between a very light-hearted version with Euphie and Lelouch during their Academy days. Naoto was even more astute to want no part of it, but Suzaku had been sucked right in – partially because of his connection between the two royals, but also because it had been far less...painful than his own family situation.

“He mentioned at least one of them, but I think I know who is the other,” Suzaku suspected based on Akito's conversation with him that Leila Breisgau was involved in this. There was also the fact that she had directly addressed Lelouch when they had been making their introductions and something about a 'Order' of sorts. Whether it was related to Geass, he was not sure, but it stood to reason that Akito would rely on his partner to help him hold back his 'die' command cast upon him by his brother.

“Why tell me?” he asked. “Well, besides the obvious.” He gestured towards his head.

“Why indeed,” C.C. replied.

He shot her a look to one she returned with her cat-like smile as she tightened her hands around her knees. It squished the pillow she was holding into an approximation of a very sour face.

“Will your contract with him kill him?” he asked and her face immediately wrinkled into one of concern.

“I hope not,” she replied before she smiled. “But who knows. I deliberately picked him, though. Hopefully he's got more sense then to off himself. It would be very selfish of him to do that without fulfilling his contract with me.”

“He seemed resigned to doing that with Operation Pitfall,” Suzaku replied a little dryly.

“He is quite singular in whatever he puts his mind to,” C.C. replied with a the same cat-like smile. “I heard you want to join him in that suicide run.”

“He doesn't get to choose how I leave him,” Suzaku shook his head. “If he's as hell-bent on his plan for Operation Pitfall and thermonuclear armaments, I'll be right by his side.”

“Yet you don't really want him to die.”

Suzaku shook his head. “I did want to die, but now...if I have the choice to die with him or without him, at least I know there are worse things than dying next to the person you love the most.”

“You really are suicidal.”

“I'm a realist,” he replied, “I might have been suicidal, I might still be, but I am a realist. This war makes you one. We know we can die any time we're out fighting or not even. I know what I signed up for when I willingly chose him as my partner. I know what his enemies and my own call me, call him, behind our backs. We may not be pariahs, but I am well aware that in some notion in his twisted, brilliant mind, he didn't seek me out because he placed a greater value on my life than his own.”

He sighed. “I have no fucking idea why because I was under the assumption that we're equals, we're partners. I trust him, but I don't think I can ever forgive him for this. For willfully leaving me for these last five years.”

“Did it ever occur to you that he may not have had that choice?”

“Everyone has a choice,” Suzaku shot back. “Even just telling me that I was not his partner anymore would have helped. Maybe it would have made  _ this _ a hell of a lot easier to take.”

She sighed, squeezing her pillow a little before relaxing her grip. “All right. You've certainly piqued my interest enough so I'll let you in on a little secret. He was quite adamant about finishing Gipsy for you and only for you once the Gages were out of the picture. I told him it was a bad idea. I warned him.”

“And he listens to you?”

“We're accomplices. We understand each other.”

“I still don't get that part.”

“Not the point, but here's a little secret, Suzaku Kururugi.  _ You _ broke him.”

Suzaku stilled. He shook his head. “That's not possible. There is one person that he will put above anyone else, myself included.”

“Oh, I agree,” C.C. nodded. “But facts are facts. You broke him.”

The confusion must have shown on his face as the green-haired woman stared at him. Her eyes bore into his own. “Technically, it means he may not fulfill our contract, which means you're a problem to me. But, the lines of fate or what have you aren't set in stone, so your presence...” She scoffed, “I guess the easiest method would be to neutralize you in any way, but since you've piqued my interest enough, I'm willing to look at it like an addendum to our contract.”

“I'm not signing anything with you-”

She laughed, bringing Lelouch and Dr. Croomy's gazes over. However, C.C. did not dismiss them back as easily as she had the last time before she stood up and sauntered over, her hips swaying rather provocatively. Dr. Croomy was attempting to look elsewhere, but Suzaku was mildly surprised to see Lelouch's expression turn into one of irritation.

“I like him, Lelouch. Can I keep him?” C.C. asked loudly and Suzaku bristled.

“No,” was the flat reply. “Get lost, witch. You're being a nuisance right now.”

“I'll see you boys later then,” she waved an airy goodbye to them, closing the door behind her with a firm metallic clang.

C.C., Suzaku decided, was an enigma. A rather dangerous one.


	30. Chapter 30

Field Marshal Tohdoh came in after Dr. Croomy finished her examination. They had been given a moment to change into a fresh set of clothing, or at least out of hospital scrubs. They both were declared able to leave the infirmary, but were under a strict twenty-four hour no-Drift protocol, mostly for Lelouch's concussion. Suzaku's ribs were still taped up, but the accelerated healing injections he had received were already doing their job and the pain would fade by the end of the day, leaving his bones completely healed. Their bruises were also slowly fading, but the bumps and skin were still quite tender in places.

Now they sat in the room, with chairs next to each other – still feeling the effects of the ghost Drift – while Tohdoh sat across from them. Suzaku had a suspicion based on Euphie's words that his former _sensei_ knew who was under the mask, but it was the general lack of surprise from Tohdoh looked at them confirmed it. He didn't know whether or not he should have felt angry or disappointed that Tohdoh had known who Zero was. But another thought occurred to him, one from years ago when he and Lelouch had tentatively started their partnership.

It had been when Tohdoh and Nagisa had their last outing in Coyote Tango against Onibaba. Nagisa had offhandedly mentioned that Tohdoh's request to Prince Schneizel had been rejected – a position called Strategos. It had been very clear since the beginning that Tohdoh _wanted_ Lelouch as a strategist against the kaiju.

He suppose it was how Lelouch had approached Tohdoh and secured his position. Suzaku sighed inwardly – at least someone got their wish after all these years. And it helped him come to terms with Tohdoh's secrecy surrounding Zero's identity. The position still did not exist, but Tohdoh was bending the rules and doing this his own way simply because they were the Resistance. The Marshal had been known to be a stickler for the rules and regulations governing Rangers and the PPDC. Losing Nagisa had broken some of that discipline and he supposed with Knifehead and subsequent losses of Jaegers had turned the samurai into a ronin.

The long war had changed them all.

“How are you feeling?”

It Suzaku a moment to realize that it was _he_ who was being addressed instead of Lelouch. He blinked for a second before looking at his former teacher. It took him another moment to realize that Tohdoh was not referencing his physical health. The Marshal wanted to know about his _mental_ health.

“Better,” he replied and it was the truth. Drifting with Lelouch had felt _good_ even with all of his reservations. It felt like filling the void in him with the half that he had been blindly searching in the intervening five years. Talking with Lelouch, actually talking – with some reluctant prying, but that was normal – help closed some of the gaps. He was under no illusion that their conversation was done, but if he were to die in the next five minutes fighting kaiju, he was in a place where he could easily accept that this was the only closure he was going to get.

Tohdoh nodded, his eyes soft with understanding that it was not perfect, but it was better than the last time they talked. He turned to Lelouch, gaze hardening. “War clock has been reset. Dr. Asplund suspects three more days from today until a generated Triple Event. The two of you have been out for roughly a day and now that you're awake, we will need your help in dealing with a situation that had developed.”

“What can be worse than a Triple Event?” Lelouch was not quite slouched in his chair, but he was sitting rather casually, leg crossed over, arms folded lightly across his chest.

“Field Marshal li Britannia is here,” Tohdoh said with the bluntness of an anvil, “Because _someone_ got the smart idea to call her without proper security protocols in place – that _you_ established mind you – and all but say we were harboring Zero.”

“Well...”

“I don't need smart comments from you after complete disregard for protocols. I swear, the two of you have _not_ changed at all whenever you're in close proximity to one another. Both of you are reckless,” Tohdoh glared at them.

Lelouch did not seemed to be affected by the admonishment. “Britannia has no jurisdiction in the Hong Kong Shatterdome, so she cannot technically arrest me since we still operate under the PPDC charter. She can come in her capacity as Field Marshal, but she cannot do anything. I am legally registered as Julian Kingsley. If I so happen to wear a mask and outfit that look like the alleged terrorist that Britannia has a bounty for, then so be it.”

Suzaku put his face into his palm. If there ever was a case that Lelouch loved his loopholes and third options this was exactly it. At the same token, even he could not deny that whatever he said, it was quite true. He would have exploited it to full effect and it seemed Lelouch had accounted for this contingency.

“Did I also mention there is a Britannian fleet along with Knightmares just outside of the international waters of Hong Kong?” Tohdoh replied dryly.

“So? They can't enter, not without violating the charter and they can't force China to extradite Zero without China violating their charter.”

“Lelouch-”

“Technically, she could also have her commission rescinded because in essence, by hording all of the remaining Britannian Jaegers to the Pendragon Shatterdome, she is violating the charter's mandate that all available resources be used to fight the kaiju. Britannia could also be kicked out of the UFN for such a violation – as it is not in good faith. She has no ground to stand on, Tohdoh.”

“I think she does, _Zero,_ ” he emphasized Lelouch's alter ego. Suzaku looked up to see Tohdoh staring at Lelouch with a raised eyebrow. “She brought _all_ available Jaegers from Pendragon.”

Suzaku looked over to see Lelouch with a neutral expression on his face, but there was the barest flicker of surprise in his eyes. “You anticipated this?” he asked, but Suzaku already knew Lelouch's answer.

“Very well, Tohdoh. I will handle it,” Lelouch uncrossed his legs and sat up. His eyes were sharp as he stared down at the Marshal. “What's the status of Gipsy and the others?”

“Cherno Alpha won't be repaired in time for Pitfall's start. Chawla is studying the corrosive effect Otachi had, but we are very lucky the acid did not compromise the reactor. Crimson Typhoon is too damaged – we will have to scrap it. Striker Eureka only suffered electrical damage, but he can still run the ordinance. Gipsy Danger is receiving priority repair. She is able to run the defensive line.”

“Good,” Lelouch nodded. “We'll add whatever Cornelia's brought to our plans.”

“You seemed assured she'll cooperate.”

Lelouch's smile was rather devious looking. “She will.”

Suzaku frowned, but did not say anything. He had a feeling that whatever Lelouch would do to ensure Cornelia's cooperation, it would be the Geass that he had talked about earlier. But the way Lelouch was framing his words...he made his decision and pulled at his shirt collar. The reaction in Lelouch's eyes was immediate as there was a light flicker of annoyance, but the barest dip of his head in acknowledgment to talk later.

“How are the others?” Suzaku asked as part of the natural follow up. Only, he, Euphie and Lelouch knew the secret communication system that had been used between Euphie and Lelouch when they were younger.

“Leila and Akito suffered some superficial drivesuit damage from the acid as well as bruises based on Cherno's fight. Akito's also undergoing kaiju blue treatment – he breathed it in from the acid when it ate into the O2 line. Kallen and Gino some minor drivesuit burns, but it was from the electrical feedback more than anything else. Xingke and Xianglin are the worse off. A lot of broken bones. Xianglin may have suffered paralyzing effects on her arm, but doctor's don't really know yet since they've sedated her for the most part. Xingke suffered a skull fracture. He's in a medically induced coma right now. Doctors already drilled once to let some of the pressure off.”

Suzaku wished he did not ask the question, but took the answers stoically. He vowed to at least visit Akito, if not also Xingke and Xianglin – if their doctors allowed it – before Operation Pitfall started. The fact that the Crimson Typhoon pair had fought so viciously with their wounds – and downplayed their injuries in battle – it was amazing what the Drift was able to bring out in each person. While he and Lelouch ultimately took down the kaijus, it wasn't without their help that they were able to defeat the two beasts.

“Leila can work strategy in my stead when we launch the Operation,” Lelouch said without a hint of emotion towards the state of his comrades. “She's the best hope if anything goes wrong while we're making for the Breach. Have Gino and Kallen report to me at-” Lelouch glanced down at his watch, “-fifteen hundred for a briefing on their role in Pitfall. Move Crimson Typhoon's crew to our next phase. Do we know if the sakuradite is salvageable?”

“...Lelouch...” Suzaku was a little appalled at the seemingly callous way his best friend seemed to be treating the whole thing. From their bond, he felt the quiet swirl of anger, barely held in check, occasionally lashing out like fiery tendrils of white-hot fury.

“They're currently salvaging it, though I think they've stopped when Cornelia arrived,” Tohdoh's answer made Suzaku whip his head around to stare at the Marshal. Tohdoh had no expression on his face, but his eyes were chipped and cold.

“At least they have tact,” Lelouch muttered. “Have them resume work once I deal with Cornelia. Striker's crew is going to have to do double duty and keep an eye on the other Jaeger's crews.”

“I'll pass the message along.”

“Lelouch, what-”

“Not now, Suzaku,” Lelouch's wave was dismissive and Suzaku blinked, taken aback. “I'll explain later-”

“Nope, you explain now, Lelouch,” He interrupted, glaring at his friend.

Flinty violet eyes met his own and Suzaku made sure that the annoyance, anger and all of the feeling of _trust_ bled through their ghost Drift towards Lelouch. He knew he succeeded in persuading his friend when the barest of sounds emerged from his mouth and he rolled his eyes. Lelouch turned back to look at Tohdoh.

“Did you bring it?”

Tohdoh's expression became one of a mild smirk as he pulled out a small listening diffuser from his pockets. He tossed the device to Lelouch. “I know my own pupil, Lamperouge. And you should as well considering how many years you've lived in his head.”

Lelouch snorted again as he fingered the device in his hand. “I knew there was a reason why you did not object to Suzaku's return unlike Euphie.”

“The sword you brandish always needs its sheath lest it becomes a dull blade without proper care. I'm just sorry it took you this long to realize it.” This time Tohdoh's smile was all teeth, reminiscent of the days in which Suzaku had seen him clash time and time again with his father Genbu. It heartened Suzaku to realize that his _sensei_ cared deeply about him after all these years, but also cared enough to make sure that Lelouch knew it too.

“Hmph,” Lelouch sniffed before he activated the device. A buzz that crackled right in between his teeth made Suzaku grimace a little as he automatically reached up to his lip to try to scratch it. He lowered his hand as he remembered it was the device's active state, a sign that it was working. “Radius?”

“The normal, so no grandstanding or speeches, Lelouch,” Tohdoh shrugged.

“As if,” Lelouch gestured towards his PT clothing. “Though I suppose I could make it work-”

“Lelouch, come on,” Suzaku was a little annoyed at his friend's attempts to delay and saw him sigh.

“Spoilsport.”

He only gave him an arched look, decidedly immune to his friend's attempts to be grandiose and dramatic. Every single one of the royals, Euphie included, were capable of turning into drama queens. Lelouch just so happened to do it in a way that was rather charismatic – and one of the many reasons why he had fallen in love with him in the first place.

“In the eventuality that I-we,” Lelouch amended his initial statement by gesturing towards the two of them, “die in Pitfall-”

Suzaku dutifully ignored Tohdoh's frown – he did warn his former teacher that he was 'better' not 'good' or 'sunshine and fucking rainbows.'

“-We've also been slowly building up Japan's Knightmare forces in secret for the last few years.”

“What...?”

“Among Clovis la Britannia's papers, we discovered plans of an imminent Britannian invasion. It called for the use of using the cannons mounted up on the walls with sakuradite to hold the coastal cities hostage. Britannia would have invaded via the Alaskan islands, ignoring the E.U. territory in Russia and its waters by launching a simultaneous attack on the E.U. fronts where Euro-Britannia lies.”

“Our spies discovered that Vercingetorix's remains were not at the graveyard and we suspected the Jaeger was moved to Euro Britannia to be their secret weapon. Shin Hyuga Shaing and Jean Rowe were also suspiciously missing, their military records listing them as 'retired.' Akito Hyuga and Leila Breisgau have been search for their whereabouts for us.”

“The Order?”

“No,” Lelouch shook his head. Suzaku noted out of the corner of his eye Tohdoh looked surprise, but didn't press. He realized that Tohdoh had not been told of whatever 'Order' Leila had been alluding to, perhaps thinking it had been a part of Lelouch's whole plan.

“When was this invasion to happen?”

“Probably after we attempted Pitfall,” Lelouch replied, “we're not sure. That is the only piece of intelligence we haven't been able to confirm. Our spies in Pendragon have noticed a lot of movement and they suspected that may be one of the chief reasons why the Alaskan Wall has not been completed yet, nor has it been completed on time.”

Suzaku knew there had been numerous delays with the construction of the Wall, having been involved himself. But he always thought it was to do with budgets and inflated costs – not because of an imminent invasion.

“Why...Japan? Why now? I mean just because of sakuradite?”

“Japan is leaderless, Suzaku. It's been leaderless for years since Genbu's death,” Tohdoh replied. “The Prime Minister is a puppet installed by the Chinese Federation who moved first against Britannia. You know it and I know it.”

“But-”

“But even if they are a puppet of the Federation at the moment, it is a better alternative than becoming an Area under Britannian rule.”

“So why don't you take the position of Prime Minister, Marshal? Or even Ohgi?”

“Because if we did right now, Britannia would have no compunctions of declaring war on us and millions more would die. They are currently content with the notion that there is a puppet leader. But Zero is convinced that once we close the Breach, they will not be content anymore.”

“Why?” Suzaku turned to his friend.

Lelouch shook his head before seemingly brushing back a strand of his hair – near his left eye. Suzaku understood the unspoken message. It was to do with Lelouch's Geass and he would not speak of it in front of Tohdoh. _You better tell me later_ , Suzaku vowed over their bond. That particular thought was met with something that felt like a resigned confirmation.

“It's Britannia, one the Breach is closed, they will want the sakuradite. We will be back at a state of war. The resources each country brought to the table to defeat the kaiju have now been expended building the wall. Britannia's financial might has never been an issue because of the size of the empire, but for countries like Japan or even China, the cost has been exponential in order to protect themselves from kaiju.”

The reason was sound and made logical sense, but Suzaku knew from long experience and the fact that Lelouch was indicating it had to do with his Geass meant there was something else at play. Britannia had another reason to attack besides sakuradite deposits.

“Can't the UFN do anything?”

“Unfortunately Britannia's been playing very smart with this war. They've kept themselves as a satellite member of the UFN Security Council – allowed in, but not allowed any of the votes. Thus, the perfect excuse to not adhere to any of the agreements made. The only thing that kept them in line all these years was the war against the kaiju.

“And Pitfall can't be delayed?”

Lelouch looked at Tohdoh who shook his head.

“Dr. Asplund's calculations weren't wrong about the Double Event, Zero. We looked over the old data when Leatherback appeared. Turns out the bastard was _hiding_ the whole time. Like you might have guessed, waiting for us to sortie out all of our Jaegers in order to destroy them.”

“So we die by the Triple Event, which I'm guessing is three kaijus-”

“That's the extinction level event there,” Tohdoh interrupted. “Asplund was very clear that once the Triple Event happens, there's really a point of no return. The Breach would technically be strong enough to send multiple waves of kaiju after that.”

Suzaku shook his head slowly. “Death by kaiju or a global war that Britannia's been carefully preparing for.”

“Which is why we've been preparing for its eventuality. Japan would be able to defend itself from the initial wave of attacks. The UFN would be able to rally the goodwill of the nations behind them after a decisive victory in the war against the kaiju to counter and put Britannia in place or at least start the process.”

“You really think the other nations would be able to stop Britannia?”

“Insomuch as I think that cooler heads will prevail after they see the Emperor's madness in attacking former allies,” Lelouch shrugged.

_Now_ Suzaku definitely knew that his friend had something planned. He would not be so casual in dismissing the Emperor in such a way. Not after all these years, not after everything he knew and felt for the four years they had partnered up. He nodded carefully.

Lelouch turned back to Tohdoh, seeing that he wasn't going to press the issue any further – for now. “What's Cornelia's doing?”

“More than likely interviewing the pilots that aren't in the other infirmary wards. We've deflected as much as possible, but now that you're awake-”

“We knew this was one of the scenarios presented, Tohdoh. We'll just nip it in the bud quickly. This also provides us an excellent opportunity for our own plans. Remember, Striker Eureka pilots for briefing at fifteen hundred.”

“Security measures?”

“Not needed. I'll give her one chance before I force the issue,” Lelouch replied.

Suzaku frowned. “I'm not your muscle,” he said archly, even though he knew exactly that was probably what he would do if _anyone_ threatened Lelouch.

“No, but you are still my Knight.”

Suzaku felt himself warm, earning a smirk that he immediately wanted to both punch or kiss off of his partner's face. That particular statement had always been said in private between them – considering Lelouch was not a Prince of Britannia and did not want others to think he was really 'The Exiled Prince.' Suzaku was starting to really hate the current ghost Drift and his own emotional state. Just seeing all of the little quirks, facial expression, everything he had missed so much about Lelouch for the last five years wasn't doing him any favors. If circumstances were normal, he'd probably just ask Lelouch for sex and be done with the need for tactile comfort to ground himself in the here and now. As things were their current state, he was more liable to punch his best friend into the Breach.

Lelouch flipped the device off, the buzzing feeling disappearing. “Can I keep this?”

“For now yes,” Tohdoh nodded as he stood up. “Don't overuse it. It's the only one we have left.”

“I know,” Lelouch replied as the two of them also stood up, they watched as Tohdoh exited the ward with Dr. Croomy following behind him. But before the door closed, C.C. came in with carrying two bundles of clothing. Suzaku stared at the bundle that was definitely the Zero outfit, complete with helmet.

“Where's Cornelia?”

“Hanger bay, she's clean. Your sister is doing her best to dissuade her, but I think she's at the end of her rope,” the green-haired woman smirked. She set the pile down before extending the other bundle in her hand out to Suzaku. He took it, noting that it was the formal grey PPDC uniform. There was a small personal grooming kit on top of the pile.

“Euphie does have her limits,” Lelouch commented mildly as he began to strip out of the PT clothing and put on the other outfit. Suzaku turned and set his pile down going over to the mirror and sink nearby to quickly clean himself up and look more presentable. Walking back, he began to strip out of his own clothes. He could feel C.C.'s eyes on him, but refused to give her any sign that he was uncomfortable with her watching. Changing in and out of a drivesuit for so many years had worn down the discomfort of stripping in front of strangers.

It didn't take him long to finish changing and he picked up the jacket, noting to some degree of surprise and pleasure that while it was a newly issued, it had the colored bars of meritorious service he had been given as well as the relevant pins of Greek alphabet letters denoting the kaiju kills. Two new ones, marked with the double lettering of Alpha-Zeta and Alpha-Eta were meant to represent Leatherback and Otachi.

He brushed a thumb over the two new ones, feeling the small indentations of the symbols on metal. The metal looked and felt different, coarser. He supposed with the lack of certain resources, the printing of the badges wouldn't be uniform anymore.

“We took scrap metal from parts of damaged Jaegers or of the Jaeger itself to create the badges after PPDC decided ax it from their budget,” Lelouch commented absently as Suzaku heard something being zipped up behind him.

He turned to see Lelouch straightening the white cravat while tucking the teeth of the main suit jacket's zipper underneath it with expert hands. The outfit really was form fitting, showing the odd bulk of bandages that patched some of his arms legs and sides. But as Lelouch donned the high-collared cloak, it covered most signs that he was injured. Only the bandages around his head showed any sign, but even that would be covered by the mask he wore.

Suzaku turned back put on the jacket, mindful of his own bandages. The uniform, even though a casual version, felt familiar, comfortable and like it belonged on him. However, before he was able to zip up the jacket, he saw Lelouch pull the bug diffuser out of the pants he had folded and set to the side. Suzaku let his hands hang to his sides, stepping towards Lelouch as he held the device up to C.C.

“Give me a moment?”

“Contract amendment,” C.C. reminded him and he only gave her a look as he activated the device. “And you're too soft, Lelouch. You should just Geass him and be done with it.”

This time the look Lelouch shot at her was a very angry glare. However, she merely shrugged and walked to near the door to let them have some privacy.

“She's saying you didn't do that when I first got here?”

“Do want to live a certain aspect of your life according to my command?”

“It may make it more bearable for you and maybe me in the long run. You know I'll question what I don't think is right if you don't do it.”

Lelouch frowned. “You really want that?”

“What I want is irrelevant, Lelouch. You brought me back. I came back to pilot Gipsy Danger because I figured, hey if we're gonna die soon, I would like to die fighting a kaiju instead of wasting away building a Wall that doesn't even work. I don't know now what's in our future after Pitfall. The fact that you were planning to die in the operation means you must have some kind of contingency to prevent the upcoming Britannian war, right? Were you _planning_ to pilot Gipsy? Was what you told me before a lie? That you didn't plan to?”

“Do you trust me?”

Suzaku looked at his partner and reached out to gently place a hand on his chest. “I trust this,” he said, staring at where his hand was over Lelouch's heart. He moved it up to cradle his cheek. “I don't know if I trust this...not yet at least.”

He could see the moment where his friend yearned to turn into his hand like the very rare times they reached out to each other in front of anyone, but held himself still. Outside of the privacy of their own rooms, they were rarely affectionate with their touches, preferring to show an outward friendship instead of a romantic relationship. It had been by mutual agreement in the beginning days of their partnership.

Suzaku let his hand drop after a few seconds.

“I said I planned to die in Pitfall because it is true,” Lelouch said. “If the Operation is a success, and it will be, I don't think I will survive its aftermath. Either someone will assassinate me, or I will die because of this.” He reached up and drew at his left eye.

Suzaku froze, utterly mesmerized by the sigil that had all but been burned into Lelouch's eye, making its original purple color almost a dull red. The sigil looked looked like a glowing crimson motif of a bird of sorts.

“This is a Geass,” Lelouch explained quietly before he moved his hand back and the sigil disappeared under the contact lens. “Like I said earlier, I am able to give one command to any person that has not been under my Geass. The command is absolute and must be followed to the best of the person's ability, even if it is theoretically impossible.”

Suzaku grimaced. He had no doubts that Lelouch must have tested the limits of the command since he had the power. He looked back at his partner. “You plan to use it on Cornelia?”

“If I have to, to get her cooperation in Operation Pitfall and to prevent my own arrest,” Lelouch replied.

“You'll kill her with it?”

“If necessary,” Lelouch replied.

The words 'you've changed' were on Suzaku's lips, but with all that he knew and didn't know, those words couldn't be said. They had all changed. He had long known, perhaps somewhere in the back of his mind, that Lelouch was a very calculating and driven man. His goals were singular and he would do _anything_ to achieve them, even sacrifice anyone and anything. In the years they had been partnered up, he saw it once or twice, but never had Lelouch actually crossed the line. Lelouch saw everyone as human, not expendable, but dependable. Yet if their sacrifice was needed, and they understood the context of it, they would follow his command. Lelouch possessed a charisma and mantra that those who were willing to kill must be prepared to die. Suzaku supposed that Lelouch receiving a Geass was a darker evolution of that mantra, unchecked for five years.

“I'd thought you'd protest...” Lelouch suddenly said and Suzaku realized he had stayed silent.

“If I did, you'd find new ways to excuse it away or try to convince me to see it your way,” he replied. “I don't like it. That you can and have willfully killed others with this power. But who am I to criticize how you've lived the last five years? You've certainly didn't think of my opinion relevant then.”

He could see his friend shrink a little, his words cutting into him. However, instead of the vicious pleasure of the last few times, Suzaku felt nothing but indifference. It...saddened him – both that he accepted this new truth, but also that he and Lelouch had changed so much.

His partner sighed as he dropped his hand to his side. “You really want me to say it?”

“Lelouch, based on everything that's happened, you really think it's that easy to fall back into old habits? As much as I want it to, there's a clear divide between us. You're Zero. How am I supposed to make of that?”

“I meant what I said that I wanted you to be my Knight, Suzaku. With Operation Pitfall, I am putting forth the ultimate gamble. I am going after the Emperor. In essence, I am going after the throne.”

Suzaku blinked. “But-”

“I learned five years ago, that long ago, our world has been connected to another world, or rather a dimension that granted users the power of Geass – the power of kings. The Emperor discovered this somewhere in his reign and made a contract of his own. I don't know the details, but what I learned was that this dimension agreed to somehow conquer it for Charles zi Britannia using their foot soldiers – the kaiju. To what end, I have no fucking idea, but the Emperor made the fatal mistake of underestimating the human race's tenacity to rise up against a common enemy.”

Suzaku's jaw dropped. “If that's true, why did he allow them to attack San Francisco?! With Trespasser!”

“Again, not sure. Maybe it was a test of resolve? Maybe it was to get rid of certain people.”

Suzaku did not miss the oblique reference to Lelouch's mother, Marianne.

“But what I do know is that these attacks are a mix of the unnatural and natural. The kaiju do follow our runoff patterns for population centers. But somewhere in the beginning after we kept beating them year after year, they got smarter.”

“...Knifehead.”

Lelouch nodded. “And we began to lose Jaegers.”

Suzaku was silent for a few seconds before looked back up at his friend. The initial shock of finding out the real reason behind the kaiju war was fading, replaced by dread, confusion and a swirl of emotions he really could not quite comprehend. But there was one question he had to ask. “How is it that you know you're going to die after Pitfall?”

Lelouch's expression turned grim and he pulled down his shirt collar, revealing the ugly red scar that was near his carotid artery. “The Emperor sent an assassin after me. C.C. took most of the damage. I managed to Geass a confession of who had contracted him out of the assassin and she pulled the rest of the truth from him. The Emperor knows who I am, both as Zero and as Lelouch vi Britannia. He also knows that I have a Geass, though I am sure he doesn't know what it is. That is why I said those with Geass on them or have been given one can...feel each other for the lack of a better word when they're near each other.”

Suzaku felt sick. “S-So...you're telling me that Cornelia-”

“Which is why she gets one chance. And not even. If I feel it on her, then she either dies or she falls under my command before she can do anything. Same with all of those she brought with her.”

Horror suddenly spiked in Suzaku. “B-But...Euphie...Anchorage-”

“I was prepared when the two of you arrived in Hong Kong,” Lelouch said. “But I didn't feel any undue influence.”

“But she might have gone back to Pendragon and then to Sydney-”

“C.C. can sense those who have been given a code, a Geass. She cannot sense those who have had them cast upon them.”

“Oh...” Suzaku realized what C.C. meant by Cornelia being 'clean.' “But...”

“I don't know if the Emperor or someone in Pendragon might have cast one upon her to activate if near my presence,” Lelouch glanced down at the bug diffuser. Suzaku realized they were quick running out of time.

“Why Pitfall though? Why the Breach?”

“It is a gateway between the dimensions. A door that will permanently seal shut and either cut the Geass off or will alert the Emperor that his plans have failed. I don't know what might happen to those of us who have been given a Geass. I've had Leila try to search for those who may be in the Geass Order – who follow the Emperor's commands to make this happen. We may fall down dead, or we may survive. Either way, the Emperor will know who struck that blow.”

He shut the device off and extended his had to Suzaku. “Take it. If Cornelia is under a Geass, I cannot have you involved in any way.”

“Lelouch...” Suzaku protested as he took the device. Nonetheless, he put it in the inside of his jacket's pocket. He was equal parts horrified, sympathetic and angry – not at Lelouch, that anger paled beyond comparison to the truth he found out. The Emperor had deliberately started the Kaiju War and killed millions. All for what? They did not know. But the blood of so many, the deaths of not even those directly affected by the attacks but died from kaiju blue. Manila's aftermath still burned in his mind. The deaths of all the good men and women of the PPDC, fighting against monsters summoned by the Britannian Emperor.

“Will you be my Knight?”

Suzaku looked up to suddenly see Lelouch extending a gloved hand towards him, dressed in his Zero regalia. The only thing missing was the helmet, held in his other hand.

“I've always been your Knight,” Suzaku frowned.

“I meant, officially. Will you follow my every command, even if you think it may be wrong? Will you pledge your service and fealty to my house and its members knowing that you can only be released from this oath by one of its members? Will you serve, protect and honor this house until your dying breath or released from your oath?”

Suzaku's brow crinkled. Lelouch was absolutely serious. They were a variation of the words used by the royal Britannians to name a Personal Knight, but the meaning was the same. While he had pledged himself to Lelouch long ago in the halls of the Jaeger Academy, it had not quite come up in such a serious manner aside from that one incident with the Britannian royal family in all four years. Even Cornelia's plea for him to become Euphie's knight in the aftermath of Lelouch's 'death' back then had been dismissed in the throes of grief.

There was only one reason why Lelouch would force the issue so suddenly: Nunnally.

Suzaku already knew his answer. It was always the same. Even though he knew he technically would have to obey every order Lelouch gave him, even though they were equal partners in this, he also knew that Lelouch would destroy and remake the world for Nunnally. He would send him away so Nunnally would always be protected no matter what. Suzaku had no intention of ever abandoning his best friend again; or be left behind. He would protect both Lelouch and Nunnally – the house of vi Britannia.

Suzaku zipped his jacket up, adjusting the collar once while looking straight at Lelouch before he took a knee and bowed with his hand across his chest like a formal Knight. He lowered his gaze. “I, Suzaku Kururugi, pledge myself to be your Knight of Honor here and now, forever until death takes me or released from my oath.” He looked back up at Lelouch.

“Command me, Lelouch vi Britannia.”

The Geass in Lelouch's eye activated. “Live, Suzaku Kururugi.”


	31. Chapter 31

They walked shoulder to shoulder down the halls of the Shatterdome to the hanger bay. Gaping looks greeted them as they encountered people on their way. Suzaku could hear whispers around them as they walked, but kept his expression neutral and his gaze straight ahead as if he was above it all.

Most of the whispers were in awe about their take-down of two kaiju one right after another, especially kaiju that had given three other Jaegers problems. Then there was whispers about him Drifting with Zero and how cool or scary it must've been. The fact that their steps were in sync did not help the pointing and whispers. Some whispered about Knifehead and Gipsy Danger's previous kaiju kills. They held only seven kills, nothing spectacular compared to Striker Eureka's ten kills, but the fact that they took down two Category 4s still astounded the personnel.

As Zero, Lelouch cut an impressive figure, his steps assured, his cape sweeping grandly. Next to him Suzaku kept a martial stance, knowing that it was vastly different than the first impression he had made just mere days ago upon his arrival. He wanted the Shatterdome to know that he was Zero's partner and Zero was his partner.

Lelouch keyed in the code and the doors opened to the hanger bay. They stepped in, headed to where Cornelia was holding an unofficial court. Guilford and a couple of dozen Britannian-uniformed soldiers loitered around one of the technical stations for Striker Eureka. Euphie's pink hair was distinctive among the drab blues, greys, and green coveralls along with the dull metal colors of the Shatterdome.

“I heard you were looking for me Marshal li Britannia,” Lelouch declared, bringing almost every single personnel within hearing vicinity to a halt as all stared.

Cornelia's reaction was the most visceral as she shoved her way from the back of her soldiers, having been talking with Gino and Kallen. She drew her gunblade just as she cleared the last of her soldiers and pointed it at Lelouch's masked face. Guilford shadowed her, his hand on the grip of his own pistol, but he did not draw it.

“I knew it!” Cornelia snarled, flicking at look at Suzaku. “And you, Ranger Kururugi-”

Suzaku made no movement to intercept the weapon pointed at his friend, even though a part of him yearned to kick it out of the way. Cornelia had this one chance that Lelouch was allowing her. Suzaku instead, kept his gaze firmly on the Marshal. “Zero is my Drift partner.”

A hiss of anger was audible through the teeth she bared at him. “Then you must know who he-”

“Yes,” he replied coldly.

He saw her eyes widen a little, seemingly startled by the sudden change in his attitude. Suzaku supposed he too would have been surprised, considering that he and Cornelia had parted just mere days ago. However, at the same time, he also knew that many had forgotten that he was not a meek, quiet stereotypical Japanese Ranger. To them, his partner had been Lelouch Lamperouge, a man of absolutes and decisiveness that bordered on a cold intellect and aloofness. But when Lelouch show his anger, it was volcanic.

It stood to reason, partnering with such a man of extremes transferred some of that type of rage and coldness to him. But Suzaku had always carried his anger with more of an action than of words. Yet, he was also capable of such frozen fury. His father was the one to bear most of it, Tohdoh on rare occasion. And Lelouch, twice. Suzaku preferred showing a stoic, if gentle kindness to others, countering Lelouch's aristocratic aloofness.

Cornelia's eyes narrowed. Her gunblade did not waver in Zero's helmeted form, but she looked at Suzaku. “As Field Marshal, I order you to disclose the identity of the Britannian terrorist, Zero.”

“No,” he replied.

Guilford's eyes widened in alarm at the same time the Britannian soldiers went for their guns at his defiance of her orders. They were quickly stopped by a swift slicing motion from the Knight.

“You'd disobey a direct order?”

“I see no reason why to disclose my partner's identity when he has been registered legally in the Shatterdome rosters as Julius Kingsley,” Suzaku stared at Cornelia. He did not know how Lelouch would be able to feel out if the Third Princess had any Geass order cast upon her, but hoped he was doing whatever needed to be done.

The command he had been given – something he knew he should have not been surprised by, but it had caught him off guard – didn't feel any different. But he also understood why Lelouch Geassed him to 'live.' While he felt a lot better, he knew that his mindset was still quite fragile. Whatever Lelouch was planning – even if he attempted to abandon him again – Suzaku knew he would fight that 'live' command with all of his might.

“He is _Zero-_ ”

“How do you know that?” Suzaku countered. “How are you so sure that this man here is the Britannian terrorist you claim he is?” He could see Cornelia's composure rapidly faltering as he mimicked Lelouch's arrogance and posture to the exact 'T'. He remembered Cornelia visiting and wondering if she was perhaps trying to see if any part of her younger brother lived in him. Now, he supposed that she was getting a bit of her wish coming true.

He felt the barest pressure in his mind, humming along the bond he had with Lelouch to tell him he had done enough. He let the part of him that had taken bits and pieces of his partner's traits and personality disappear as Zero gestured grandly towards Cornelia.

“Marshal, as valiant of a defense my partner here is putting up, I really must tell you that you have no authority here as a Britannian General. You cannot demand my arrest per PPDC charter protocols when I have not violated any rules,” Lelouch played his trump card.

Something passed in Cornelia's eyes before she lowered her gunblade a little. “You're right...Zero,” she sneered his name. “Even if you may not be him. But that does not mean I have other means at my disposal.”

She suddenly turned and pointed towards Gino. “Guards! Arrest the Knight of Three for charges related to conspiracy to overthrow the Crown! Restrain Princess Euphemia li Britannia as a co-conspirator.”

Gino's eyes widen at the surprising move from Cornelia. Kallen immediately moved in front of Gino, already in a fighting stance to protect her Drift partner. Suzaku took a step forward, ready to spring into action-

When the barest of clicks was heard next to Suzaku's ear and he turned back to see that Lelouch had drawn a _gun_ of all things and was pointing it straight at Cornelia who had paused in her movement. She had a triumphant smirk on her face. It was clear that she had baited and sprung her trap.

Suzaku tensed, wondering if this was the moment Lelouch had been waiting for.

But just as suddenly the gun was _flipped_ and its grip pointed at Cornelia. “Our path to the Breach has been set. Our retreat has already been cut off. We are committed to our final operation against the kaiju,” Lelouch's voice was compelling, reverberating in the hanger bay. “If you think you can win without me, then someone shoot me.”

No one breathed, not even Cornelia was staring at the grip of the gun like it was a deadly viper.

“Anyone!” Lelouch shouted, startling those around him.

Suzaku was the only who didn't flinch as he kept his eyes on the Second Princess. He arched an eyebrow at the stunned Marshal, a small smug smile on his face. Next to him Lelouch took a step forward, the gun still pointed backwards.

“Since you've joined me, joined this last bastion of Resistance, you've had two choices,” Lelouch now addressed everyone in the hanger bay. “Either live with me, or die with me!” He canted his head.

“Which one do you choose?”

* * *

“How did you know?”

“I didn't,” Lelouch replied tightly, quietly as they walked down the hallway on their way to the war room. It was nearing fifteen hundred when he was supposed to brief Kallen, Gino and the others on their role in Pitfall. “I don't know,” he corrected himself. “but for now, I won't compel her.”

Cornelia had stood down from her attempts to arrest Zero – for the moment – as preparations for Operation Pitfall and ending the war was more important.

Suzaku followed Lelouch, making sure that his partner felt his disapproval in their bond. While he was glad that his friend had not Geassed Cornelia or any of the Jaeger pilots she had brought with him, he still felt conflicted about him using his power in such a way. A million questions flitted in his mind, ranging from the obscure to the ridiculous, but he forced himself to believe that Lelouch would not abuse the power he had been given.

It was still horrifying though to hear the names of those Lelouch _had_ compelled to kill or die by their own hands. There was no remorse in Lelouch's tone nor in the bond they shared. There was simply, nothing. Not even a single ounce of feeling. But in a way, Suzaku was glad that he had been officially made Lelouch's Knight – he would question every single time his friend used his power, make him see if there were other solutions.

And judging by Lelouch's answer just now, he wondered if his friend had thought the same. Someone to keep him afloat, someone to keep him from drowning in his the power that he held. C.C.'s words made some sense now. They were both clinging onto each other, onto the ghosts of the past, of the future and of the present. They were both drowning together, whereas before they each would have drowned, but now, perhaps they had a chance of surviving.

“You really think Cornelia won't stab you in the back when she gets the chance?”

“You've known her, what do you think?”

“Five years is a long time, Lelouch. I told her I thought she was a Purist judging by the way she treated me after you...were gone,” Suzaku was about to say when his friend died, but he realized the wording was not quite correct.

“Cornelia has changed, that much is true. But she will stick to this mission to the very end. Her need for revenge will compel her to follow the orders of this Operation until it is done. Then...we shall see.”

“What about Gino? He is technically the Knight of Three,” Suzaku asked. “And he's been helping you...?”

“I have not summoned Striker Eureka until now for that very reason. Gino needed some degree of separation from me even though he knew he was taking my orders. However flimsy the excuse was, it was a way to shield him as much as possible.”

“I'm more surprised he didn't just march over and arrest you per Knight protocol.”

Lelouch snorted quietly behind his helmet. “I gave him a gift.”

“A gift?”

He could almost imagine the sardonic look behind the opaque helmet as Lelouch turned towards him. The unspoken hint for him to think about it made Suzaku frown. He briefly went over what he knew Lelouch had said and how it related to Gino and what he knew about Gino.

Among Lelouch's victims that he had listed killed by his Geass...members of Valkyrie Squadron – the squadron of all-female Knightmare pilots that served under the Knight of Ten Luciano Bradley. Who had also been Gino's partner in Lucky Seven. Whom he had apparently ended the partnership with in some manner that was still unknown but had utterly disgusted Kallen when she told him about it.

“How did you know that I knew about the Knight of Ten?” he asked.

The helmeted head canted a bit in acknowledgment. “You are predictable to a certain degree, Suzaku. I knew you'd seek out Kallen since the last we saw her, she was headed to Dallas to work on Pons technology with Dr. Lightcap. There was also that slightly public fight in the mess hall and reminder about her brother Naoto. From there, it is easy to extrapolate what might have been discussed.”

“But you can't have known that she was going to tell me about her partner's deepest secret,” Suzaku argued.

“No, but again, a very educated guess based on predictability. Suzaku, you forget that I spent my _life_ reading people. Reacting to how they're going to act. Anticipating and strategizing their habits for maximum efficiency.”

Suzaku nodded, pursing his lips for a moment as he suddenly wished he could kiss Lelouch – if both the helmet wasn't in the way, but also for the fact that they were still feeling the ghost Drift. He felt the sudden twitch of affection roll across their bond and his lips twitched in a half smile. At least he wasn't the only one feeling the effects or of their proximity.

“So what did happen to the Knight of Ten?” he asked, forcing himself to think other thoughts than that of his libido. This particular ghost Drift was perhaps bad, if not worse than Clawhook. He supposed the saving grace of Clawhook was that they were just too damn exhausted to do anything except cuddle the whole week they had been on bed rest and sleeping off what had felt like the worse hangover ever from extended Drifting.

Lelouch's tone was of a dark amusement. “Some poetic justice. In so many words, I told the Knight of Ten to go fuck himself.”

Suzaku snorted, unbidden laughter falling from his lips. He managed to control himself and regain a bit of stoicism as he saw a few people give him very odd stares in the hallway. “If the stories are true...”

“Some of them were,” Lelouch's tone was a lot more somber now and it killed any remaining humor Suzaku found in his previous statement. “I recorded it for Gino. He didn't want to be there to see it.”

He nodded in understanding. Whatever transpired between the Knights of Three and Ten to break their partnership, stop piloting Lucky Seven and then to have Lelouch compel a punishment for Luciano Bradley that even Gino did not want to see in person and only asked for a recording...Suzaku suspected he would probably never know the full story.

“So Gino feels he owes you?”

“In that sort of manner,” Lelouch shrugged. “As much as he also knows that I am a wanted fugitive in Britannia. He just hasn't been compelled to give a reason nor called upon to do so until Cornelia arrived. Tactically oblivious or selectively picky about certain rules he has to follow as a Knight of the Round.”

Suzaku shook his head. “In a way, it sounds a little like Naoto back then. All those years ago when he decided not to get between a royal spat.” He didn't feel the need to add that the Gages had practiced the same mentality during their years serving together in the Shatterdomes.

“And that is what Kallen brings to Gino. A chance to dampen some of whatever he's carried with him in the Drift,” Lelouch replied before they arrived at the war room.

They entered and Suzaku forced himself to not react at the sudden hostile glares that were thrown at them. Cornelia, Guilford and the two other pilot pairs she brought with her were all crowded around the war room map, having been idly studying it as they waited for the briefing to start. Tohdoh was standing with them, pointing out a few things and merely raised an eyebrow at their entry.

Suzaku vaguely recognized one the four others who made up the two pilot pairs and surmised they must have just graduated into active service when he had already left. The one he vaguely remembered had similar features that looked a little eerily like a younger version of Euphie. She had peach-pink hair, but with the violet eyes that Suzaku had come to recognize as a trait of the more cunning members of the Britannian royal family. Her hair was short, pulled up into a high ponytail and her bangs framed her Hispanic-looking heart-shaped face. Next to her, with an arm blatantly around the young woman's waist clearly indicating the two were a couple – and probably Drift partners – was a sandy-blonde haired woman with light green eyes. Her hair was styled into two loosely tied pigtails that hung over her shoulders.

The other pair looked rather aristocratic even in the grey uniforms of the PPDC. One had extremely long silvery blond-white hair and light blue eyes that seemingly distrusted everyone and everything, while the other had kind eyes, with short black hair and dark eyes. They could not look anymore different except for the closeness in which they stood next to each other that Suzaku was able to identify them as a pilot pair.

All four had hostile looks directed at them besides the indifference of Cornelia and Guilford.

“Suzaku.” The young woman who looked like Euphie stepped around the war table and approached, shadowed by her partner.

Suzaku narrowed his eyes. “Do...I know you?” he asked. She looked awfully familiar.

She shot him a glare before her hand suddenly lifted. He immediately intercepted her open-handed slap even before it landed on him. That was when he finally recognized, her her expression exactly like Euphie's whenever she was angry.

“Princess Marrybell mel Britannia,” he greeted as he released her hand before her partner could take a step forward. “Knight Oldrin Zevon,” he greeted Marrybell's Personal Knight. “I take it belated congratulations are in order for your graduation.”

“Don't patronize me, Ranger Kururugi,” Marrybell was one of Lelouch's younger half-siblings. Four years younger than Lelouch, she had enrolled into Jaeger Academy as part of the Class of 2020-A. “How could you even think of partnering up with a _murderer?_ ”

“Do you always jump to conclusions that fast? I'd thought you were more level-headed than that,” Suzaku countered. He had met Lelouch's younger sister once long ago, right before she enrolled at the Academy. She had given them the bomber jackets that they wore around the base bearing Gipsy Danger's emblem as a gift and practically followed him around. Her crush on him had been rather blatant even though she had been only seventeen back then. Lelouch found it rather amusing, referencing Marrybell as a stray cat that followed him around like Arthur did.

The Princess sniffed before stalking away, her Knight following silently behind her. Suzaku glanced at Lelouch, but couldn't feel anything in their bond. It was odd, he supposed, but he didn't question it as the doors opened again and Gino and Kallen stepped in.

“Well...frigid,” Kallen deadpanned, walking in as if she and Gino did not received the same amount of heated looks as he and Lelouch had walking in. The only difference was that Gino looked away, embarrassed and shamed by his position as a Knight of the Round.

“Ugh, Britannians,” Kallen muttered as they gathered around the war table. Suzaku cleared his throat to cover his own snort of laughter at her words. He could almost imagine someone mentioning that all Britannians were prone to dramatics.

Gino stood next to him and Suzaku offered him what he hoped was a reassuring smile and got a sad one in return. It was a far cry from the boisterous person he knew, but he supposed circumstances were not what they seemed. Tohdoh brought up a map of the Mariana Trench as well as the depth measurements and location of the Breach.

“Where's-”

“Sorry, I'm late!” Dr. Asplund's sing-song tone preceded his entry into the war room. He waltzed in before coming over to the table to stand next to Lelouch. There was a few tapping sounds he made on the table before another projection appeared. “Have we started?”

“Proceed, doctor,” Lelouch gestured.

Asplund smiled widely and adjusted his glasses before reaching out with both hands and drew and outline of a conical shape. “This is what we have been studying as the Breach for the last twelve years, give or take a few months.” One of his fingers drew a circle up top. “Here is our universe-” his finger drew a circle at the bottom. “Here is theirs. The cone is what we've dubbed the 'throat' or the Breach, we know that it's atomic in nature.”

He adjusted the hologram. “I believe the increase in traffic will force the Breach to stabilize and remain 'open' so to speak, or dilated, long enough to get our thermonuclear device through-” He dropped a small little tiny yellow marker with a radioactive symbol on it from the top to the bottom. “-And collapse its structure.”

“We tried that. Years ago. The device bounced back and nearly destroyed the Jaegers that went to drop it,” Cornelia countered with a frown. “What's different this time?”

“We're using the predicted Triple Event kaiju that come out as a key to get _into_ the Breach and drop our payload,” Lelouch stepped up and with a gloved hand, moved Asplund's model to the side before bringing up a series of diagrams and notes. They were in a language that Suzaku did not recognize. “The reason why the Breach hasn't been stable enough or why kaiju appear at certain points of the year with the timeframe getting shorter and shorter is that they are close to adapting the 'gate' of their world to ours. They've been trying to keep it open to send their footsoldiers to destroy all population centers.”

Lelouch lifted his helmeted head up to look at them. “What they didn't expect was our resistance nor the fact that it would take a long time to stabilize the Breach.”

“Are you saying that these...kaiju are footsoldiers?”

“Categories 1 through 4, yes,” Lelouch replied.

“But- that's-”

“Is it so much to think that they could be the equivalent of Britannia sending scouting parties in advance of an invasion-”

Cornelia growled, slamming a hand down onto the war table. It fizzled the maps out for a second before they returned. “We are _nothing like_ -”

“The fact of the matter still stands,” Lelouch interrupted her before she could launch into a tirade. “We will need a kaiju, alive or dead, Dr. Asplund thinks it may not matter, to ride the bomb into the Breach. It will activate whatever genetic sequence needed that the kaiju's DNA has to open the 'gate' on their end. Once that is complete, the bomb will be set on a timer and detonated, destroying the Breach and their 'gate' on the other side.”

“How do you know it'll finish the job?”

“This,” he pulled one of the digital images that was on the map and it showed a picture of what appeared to be a floating temple in the sky of orange and white. There were numerous strands of brown things that looked like formless blobs. There was no sense of direction in which the things were moving, but they looked like they were either curling into the sky or curling into the ground like a chain of sort.

“We have reason to believe these...strands for the lack of a better word, are what creates the connection to the Breach. We drop a nuke and destroy the strands, the Breach collapses.”

“What...” the white-blond hair man of the two unnamed pilot pairs scratched his chin. “Is that?”

Lelouch reached over and enhanced the image. The formless brown blobs resolved into the horrifying faces of the various kaiju they had been fighting. In fact, their bodies looked like the kaiju they had faced. Suzaku stiffened as he recognized at least two bodies of Knifehead in the strands. Three of Yamarashi and even at least one of Ragnarok with its bulky arms.

“What...the shit?” Gino whispered, horrified.

“What...where did you get this...Z-Zero?” Cornelia swallowed heavily.

“From the files of the late Marshal Clovis la Britannia,” Lelouch's voice was incredibly steady.

The reaction in the room was anything but calm. Shouts of 'what' were quickly followed by guns and swords drawn, or in the case Cornelia had pulled out a pistol instead and pointed it back at Lelouch's face. Guilford had also drawn his gun, but it was pointed at Suzaku's face, daring him to move. Marrybell and Oldrin had backed away from the table, Oldrin with her blade out in case anyone dared attack her princess. The two other pilots had their swords drawn, one pointed at Tohdoh, the other pointed at Lelouch. Gino had pulled out his gun, but had pointed it to the ground – however his expression was one of horror as he stared at Lelouch. Kallen looked rather torn, the only other one besides Suzaku to not have even drawn a weapon.

Lelouch, or rather Zero, had all but admitted to outright not only murdering a royal prince, but an active PPDC Marshal. It was would have been simple enough to just say Clovis' name, but Suzaku knew Lelouch had deliberately dropped Clovis' rank within the PPDC and also his status as a Shatterdome commander.

“Er...maybe we should let him explain?” Dr. Asplund's voice came from the ground and Suzaku moved back slightly to see that the doctor had hidden himself under the war table as soon as weapons had been drawn.

“Explain the murder of a royal and a PPDC official?!” Cornelia bit out tightly.

Lelouch ignored all of the weapons pointed at him and instead, flicked another digital document to Cornelia's side of the war table. “Take a look.”

She kept the pistol trained on him as she manipulated the document and opened it. From his vantage point, all Suzaku could make out was some dates, numbers, headers, inbox lines and files sent. Apparently it was a digital copy of Marshal la Britannia's computer.

“How do I know this hasn't been manipulated?”

“Time-date-stamp and also because you recognize the encryption grade on those files?”

Her fingers flew through a few of the files before she opened one and out popped the same image that Lelouch had shown. “But this is from...” she trailed off. “Why isn't there a sender?”

“There isn't one,” Lelouch replied. Suzaku noted that Cornelia's gun had dipped slightly while she had been looking through the files. “But there is an IP trace. You're more than welcomed to use it to find its location.”

She glanced up and her violet eyes glaring at them. “And you have?”

“To here,” Lelouch brought up another map that pointed the digital signature to the Breach. Suzaku glanced at his friend. There was something missing in this particular puzzle and he realized that Lelouch was not saying anything about the connection to the Emperor or the Geass. Suzaku was willing to bet Lelouch found more or perhaps extracted a confession from Clovis that was related to the Emperor or Geass.

The gun lowered from Lelouch's face as Cornelia stared at the map. “That...can't be...”

“Marshal?” The kinder-looking of the two mysterious pilot pairs queried.

“Clovis was forwarded these emails, but who sent them? How did they know?”

“Not the current problem, but the fact still remains that in order to close the Breach, to close the invasion point, we need to be able to use the Triple Event and force the nuclear bomb through. We can deal with the kaiju cultists later.”

Suzaku had forgotten how easy it was for Lelouch to manipulate the narrative as the weapons around them were either lowered or sheathed. Cornelia had been convinced, even Gino, horrified by Zero's admission of guilt, had a set expression on his face. Every one of them knew first things first was to stop the kaiju. Everything else came later.

Dr. Asplund crawled out from his hiding place and brushed himself off with a quick pleased sound.

“Striker will be running the payload to the Breach,” Lelouch set the digital documents aside and brought back the main map showing the Mariana Trench and the Breach. A marker indicating Striker Eureka popped up.

“Gipsy Danger, Vincent Kai, Glinda Advancer, and Sagramore will run defensive point.” Four markers popped up with names on it. They surrounded Striker's marker. “We expect three kaiju to emerge from the Breach.” Three red dots popped up in the Breach. “We know the kaiju have some limited capacity of thought and strategy.”

“Any particular surprises like Leatherback?” Kallen had a hard glint in her eye.

Lelouch turned to Asplund who shrugged. “Based on saltwater composition and depth, we don't think so. The kaiju seem to employ most of their...weapons if you want to call it, above the water, in the air.”

“But we do need to remember the water is their domain. They have terrain advantage,” Lelouch continued. “Gipsy and Vincent will intercept front line with melee weapons, allowing Glinda and Sagramore to back them up with their mortars and plasmacasters. Sagramore, you'll deploy your melee chain if and when the third one gets past our fronts. Striker, take advantage of which ever one seems to be faltering and use it to run the gauntlet to the Breach.”

They watched as the two blue dots representing Gipsy Danger and Vincent Kai were halted three hundred feet from the Breach while Glinda was hanging back in the formation, providing missile and mortar support. Sagramore had done the same before it switched to intercept a third metaphoric kaiju. Striker was left in the middle, but a line had it taking the kaiju Sagramore had been engaged with and running it to the Breach.

“Do not stop for any of us,” Lelouch turned his head to Gino and Kallen. “Hook onto the kaiju of your choice, kill it or disable it enough, set the payload timer and get to your escape pods before you hit the Breach. Once you set the timer, that'll be our signal to fallback from the blast radius.”

“What happens if we end up in the throat of the Breach or we end up being in the Breach before we escape?”

“I don't know,” Lelouch admitted, raising eyebrows from everyone. “I don't know how you'll escape or if there is an escape from there.”

“Come on,” Gino muttered softly, “aren't you the man who makes miracles?”

Lelouch snorted behind his helmet. “This is the miracle we'll be creating, Knight of Three.”

The blond-haired knight laughed weakly.

“Gino, Kallen,” Lelouch addressed the pilot pair of Striker Eureka again. “I must emphasize. Do. Not. Stop. For any reason. The Breach _must_ be closed or else humanity dies.”

Suzaku could see that the repeated quiet insistence had finally hammered home to those in the room including Tohdoh, the seriousness and desperation of this gambit. This was truly a suicide mission. To Lelouch, nothing else mattered at this very moment except stopping the kaiju. The culmination of the promise that they had made all those years ago. _Every single person we save is a person that doesn't have to be mourned. We'll save everyone._ And as Suzaku stood next to his partner, he could not help but be in awe – and by his own admission, a little turned on – by the way Lelouch orchestrated Operation Pitfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zero's speech to Cornelia is a play on the one he gave to the Black Knights in Narita.


	32. Chapter 32

The sex between them was rough and quick. Suzaku had all but dragged Lelouch into his quarters, helmet, cape and all and pinned him against the wall. He had not bothered to change out of his clothes, pulling his own pants down as Lelouch did the same – discarding his helmet at the same time – before they went at it. It didn't take them long to finish, more for the frustration than of pleasure. But it had finally scratched the very bad itch of the ghost Drift Suzaku had been feeling for the last thirty-six hours.

Lelouch leaned against the wall, Suzaku half-collapsed against him, his head resting on his shoulder. The coolness of the silky cloth provided a little bit of respite from the heat emanating from their bodies as they panted in exhaustion. Both of them had been surprised at how fast they had reacted to each other's touches, but neither of them had complained, too tired after being spent in such a manner. Suzaku knew he should at least clean them up, but he didn't want to stop leaning on Lelouch's shoulder nor move from his position at the moment.

They rarely engaged in rough sex, preferring to go at it slow – or in Suzaku's case, taking his time teasing Lelouch as much as possible until he came to pieces under his ministrations – in order to enjoy the moments. But in this case, it was something that was more for grounding contact than for the act of mutual pleasure.

“We...should...” Lelouch whispered, his breath tickling Suzaku's ear.

“Shut up,” he cut him off roughly as he tightened his grip on their entwined hands. His free one was pressed up against the wall, holding himself up as his legs tried to recover their strength. Lelouch still had his own free hand pressing their hips together. Suzaku took a deep breath, feeling sweat trickle down his back before he pushed himself up from Lelouch's shoulder – having used it to muffle his own grunts – to look up at the violet eyes that stared back down into his green ones.

“I'm sorry...” Lelouch whispered and Suzaku glared at him.

“Stop it,” he demanded. “Just stop apologizing.” He looked away and finally shoved himself off the wall and off of Lelouch's shoulder, releasing his grip on Lelouch's own hand while the one on his hip fell away. Suzaku refused to acknowledge that he suddenly missed the touch as he went over to the sink of the bathroom and took two towels, tossing one to Lelouch while he wiped himself clean with another one. He caught the towel back after a few minutes and tossed both into a bin to be washed later.

Suzaku rummaged through his own set of clothes and pulled out two fresh pairs of boxers before throwing one to Lelouch. They were about the same size, though Lelouch's clothing tended to run about a half-size smaller due to his more lithe form.

“Thanks,” he heard the muffled acknowledgment as they began to dress themselves again. He glanced over briefly to see his friend carefully put his clothes back on, sans helmet which had been tossed onto the single bed. A brief concerned thought ran through Suzaku's head.

“Er...”

“No damage, no issue,” Lelouch replied, zipping his pants up. “Though...my bandages-”

“Yeah, well, whatever, mine too,” Suzaku absently reached down to his own leg and pulled one of the bandages that had been wrapped around his thigh away. The bruise that it had been covering still looked a little ugly, but it was already well on its way to healing. Five years away had greatly improved how medicine was able to heal both bones and bruising wounds that most Jaeger pilots got whenever they were in the rigs for a long time.

He unbuttoned the rest of his grey uniform and hung it up in his closet, changing into the more comfortable PT clothing just as Lelouch finished with his own outfit. From the lighting in his room, he could see little bits of wrinkles, but it was mostly on the jacket and thankfully not on that ridiculous cape he wore.

“How's your head?” he asked.

“Fine,” Lelouch replied as he adjusted the white cravat again. “The ringing's died down. No dizziness from our session if that's what you're asking.”

Suzaku was quiet for a second as he went about gathering the parts of their clothing that had been soiled and dumped it into the bin. He looked back at Lelouch to see him fiddling with the same cravat and pressed his lips together. “Why did you Geass me with that command?”

“I don't plan to abandon you in Pitfall, if you're worried,” Lelouch stopped fiddling and dropped his hands, looking at him. The silvery patches and lines that had been frostbitten gave a rather skeletal quality to his elegantly long fingers.

Suzaku nodded. “I trust you,” he replied. He felt a flash of relief in their ghost Drift. It made him feel a little better that Lelouch _had_ been worried about breaking that promise and was attempting to do everything he could to reassure him. Truth be told, he himself had been worried too when the Geass had been cast, but he had forced himself to move past it, to put his trust back into his Drift partner. It was the only way he knew how to move on.

“Mainly three reasons,” Lelouch continued. He moved towards the bed to pick up his helmet, absently rubbing at something on the edge. “One, I know you told me to stop, but it's the only way I know how to apologize to you for all these years.”

Suzaku valiantly suppressed his reaction to tell his partner to stop with the damn apologies. It really _was_ getting old and was losing its effectiveness and only made him irritated beyond belief.

“Two, if there ever was a scenario _after_ Pitfall that we survive, and I needed to use my Geass and you were in my line of sight, I'd not accidentally hit you with a command.”

“Like killing myself?” he asked bluntly.

“Or worse...” Lelouch replied.

“Worse?” Suzaku arched an eyebrow. What was worse than committing suicide just because someone told you to do it and you had no recourse?

“Like losing memories,” Lelouch looked up from his helmet to him. His lips twitched in an approximation of a sad smile. “Shirley.”

“Euphie said-”

“That's what I told Euphie and others who asked. That Shirley dropped communication with everyone because of grief, but was still alive. Truth be told, I wear this contact because I cannot control my Geass. It's permanently on. It's a sign of growing power, according to C.C. And how it happened was due to constant usage. I lost control when I went to see Shirley, to bring her into this because while I knew she had feelings for me for a long time, I also knew that she would be overlooked by everyone because she was unremarkable. I accidentally Geassed her to lose all memories of myself instead.”

“There's no way to recover those memories?”

Lelouch shook his head. “No.”

Suzaku's brow wrinkled. “That's...sad.”

He knew Lelouch was always somewhat oblivious to the fact that he had a lot of admirers. He had always thought that his partner's asexuality – even though he knew very well that Lelouch _hated_ labels – meant that he just didn't care or really did not interpret crushes or affection shown in such a manner unless it was blatantly obvious. But the fact that Lelouch admitted to knowing Shirley had a crush on him and was actively recruiting her before the mishap made him wonder if there was an element of guilt from his partner for somehow encouraging or not discouraging it in the first place. He himself was of the belief that every relationship entered had equal say – whether it was to encourage or discourage. If one continued to act in a manner contrary to rejected advances, then it was up to them to realize that they were pursuing something hopeless.

It was how he and Lelouch had kept their Drift and friendship for so long – one of the core elements that they ensured before the more physical and romantic aspect had ever come into play. It wasn't the act of losing Lelouch that hurt the most – for Suzaku, it was finding out that Lelouch had deliberately not sought him out _after_ he was alive for so long. That in of itself was a slap in the face to their friendship and why he was so angry at him. It also just so happened that all of the addendum and messiness of the physicality and romantic aspect happened to jumble up a lot of his feelings.

He sighed. “What's the third reason?”

“Leila Breisgau is a Geass user, like me,” Lelouch stated. Somehow, Suzaku was not surprised anymore. The last puzzle piece that had not quite fit regarding Akito's 'die' command and how Leila factored into it now fit snugly in his mind. “Her Geass is not of absolute commands or anything of that nature, but rather it is the power to connect minds when active.”

“As in reading thoughts?”

“Thoughts, feelings, anything and everything. It feels like Drifting, except you feel everything at once, not in bits and pieces,” Lelouch replied.

“She used it on you,” he stated.

“In a clever bit of trickery when I went to recruit her and her team for Pitfall. She knows who I am and the Geass I have, but she hasn't told anyone else.”

“Theoretically, can't Akito read it in the Drift?”

“That's the unique part that I honestly am still trying to figure out. However, it does explain their wild sync ratios every time they Drift. Leila activates her Geass on top of their actual Drift. It allows her to communicate and work with Akito's 'die' command and inform how they fight,” Lelouch sounded rather impressed.

“They sound deranged if you ask me,” Suzaku remembered the chilling repeated mantra of Cherno Alpha just saying 'die, die, die' the whole time they had been beating up Otachi.

“Their w-ZERO team has been hearing that for the ten years they've been in operation.”

“So what's that got to do with my command?”

“Akito's Geass is obviously influencing Leila. But they also retain control. I do not know if that'll happen to us when we next Drift, but perhaps it'll give us an edge in Pitfall.”

“And not die,” Suzaku snorted quietly.

“Yeah, well...” Lelouch gestured towards his own left eye. “At this point, who knows.”

He had to laugh quietly at how fatalistic they both sounded. They had been fighting this war for so long that it was the only way to cope. He quieted for a few seconds before looking at his friend. “Do you want to stay?”

“Do you want me to stay?” Lelouch asked, he had his helmet ready in his hand.

“Not tonight. I think...this,” Suzaku made a vague motion of what they had just done, “helped. You going to plot your next move with C.C.?”

“Most likely. Also need to check on Gipsy's repairs,” Lelouch nodded before suddenly crossing the length of the room. Suzaku was a little taken off guard by how fast his friend moved before he felt Lelouch's warm lips capture his own. It was a rather searing kiss as he inhaled, his mind blanking at just how much effort and force was in it. He squeezed his eyes shut, drinking in as much as possible-

Only for Lelouch to suddenly break away, leaving him gasping and weak-kneed, staring at him. He saw the slightly cheeky grin appear on Lelouch's face before he put his helmet on, opening the door to his room and left, closing it shut. Suzaku wiped at his mouth, still tasting the remnants of his friend in it. He _hated_ and _adored_ those types of kisses Lelouch always managed to catch him off guard with.

* * *

It was roughly just a little past one in the morning that Suzaku found himself working in Gipsy Danger's conn-pod, dressed in old faded blue coveralls. He knew his sleep schedule was off, but he also knew the importance of getting his Jaeger ready for Pitfall and so joined the night crew to help with diagnostics and testing. He sat with his legs dangling half into the pit where the gimbals of the rig would physically make Gipsy move.

It was near where the nuclear core was, but shielded with proper protocols ever since the Mark I's all had to be replaced with extra shielding in the early days of the war. The manual override to disable the safety limitations on Gipsy's core were also near the rotating blades. However, he ignored it as he looked over the diagnostic boards.

“All right, the right harness should be aligned now. Can you run it for a few seconds?” Euphie's voice was muffled as she had half of her body wedged into a panel along the edges of Gipsy's conn-pod.

“Sure,” Suzaku typed in the command line and watched as the legs of the right hemisphere rotated through the motion, going from slow to fast to slow to medium to fast again before finally slowing done once more. “Looks good, thanks Euphie.”

“No problem,” she said before a quiet 'ow' was heard as she extricated herself from the internals. She winced a little as she rubbed her head before making a face at the amount of grease she had coated a section of her pink hair in. “Damn...is it bad?”

With her pink tresses tied up, it wasn't as obvious, but since the grease was a dark color, it really contrasted her hair and he winced a little. “Yeah...you're gonna have to wash it out unless you don't mind wandering around with Jaeger grease on that-” he indicated his own head to tell her where the patch was located, “-while you're working in LOCENT?”

“Ugh...and I actually did just wash it two hours ago,” she rolled her eyes as she set the panel back and bolted the bolts back on.

“Why don't you use a hair covering?”

“I don't want it getting stuck while I'm crawling through Jaeger innards,” she shrugged.

“Point taken,” he nodded.

“Mrow!” Arthur's familiar call made him turn to see his – or rather, Gipsy's pet mascot – peering in. A little paw was lifted as if trying to step in, but held in the air as the cat looked at him.

“Sorry Arthur,” he apologized to the cat and it seemingly shrunk back before planting himself at the door.

“Mew!” Another cat's meow echoed and Suzaku smiled to see Elizabeth plopping herself next to Arthur before batting at his swishing tail. Arthur for the most part, seemed to primly ignore the other cat's attempt to engage in some play.

“Hey kitty cats,” Euphie absently greeted them as she finished her work. “Akito must be doing better if Leila's let both of you wander.”

“I heard what happened,” he said.

“Yeah, it was pretty bad, well at least for Leila for a while. Had almost the same reaction Lelouch did when you had that particular incident after Yamarashi,” Euphie sighed as she sat back and rested her back against the panel she had finished bolting on. “What's next?”

“Nothing for you, just need to check a couple of other things on the diagnostics,” he replied as he typed through the checklist. “No separation right?”

“All PPDC personnel, no separation,” Euphie smiled slightly. “Thank God for that, otherwise, we'd have someone that can probably match you blow for blow on the warpath.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah...I forgot. You never saw Leila in action,” Euphie nodded absently. “She's a jiu-jitsu master. She was the one who went hand-to-hand with all of the other candidates to test as part of the First Class.”

Suzaku nodded. “Wow...impressive.”

“Yup. I even asked her to teach me a few moves,” he glanced over to see Euphie making a strong arm motion and smiled. She looked a little ridiculous doing that pose while sitting on the floor in a formless grease-covered coverall.

“However, she also told me that while she does have a physicality to her, she was in her words 'shit' at piloting a Jaeger. That's all Akito's knowledge passed onto her in the Drift.”

Suzaku chuckled quietly. He browsed the diagnostics for a second before looking at the corresponding parts in the conn-pod for a quick visual inspection before scrolling through some more. He continued to check, his eyes roaming around before they came to rest on Euphie as he realized she was staring at him with a contented smile on her face. “What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” her smile grew a little wider. “Just...I'm glad that you decided to come back with me. That's all. You're happier. He's happier, that makes me happier.”

“Euphie-”

“It was hard, for the last few years. I was his shield, but there's only so much I can deflect his sword from the pain and anger he was feeling. I did protest bringing you back. I was afraid for you, not of him. But...I'm glad it worked out in the end.”

Suzaku sighed, closing the PDA and unhooking it from its connectors before he started to roll them back up to place the wires back where they belonged. “You give too much of yourself to us, Euphie. What about your own happiness?”

She shrugged. “Maybe in another life I could have been happy with you, but we know that it's never going to be.”

“...Yeah,” Suzaku glanced over to her. A thought occurred to him as Cornelia's shouted plea for him to be her Knight after they all thought Lelouch had died. “Did you ever find someone to be your Knight?”

“You mean besides the two of you?” Her smile grew a little wider before she sobered and shook her head. “I did ask. Trevin, you know. I asked the Emperor first since I'd technically be poaching one of _his_ Knights who had already sworn fealty to _him_. The Emperor was...indifferent about it. I guess it's because he's used to the Knights of the Round changing every so often when they either ask to be released from their oath or they die in battle. The two that are in the Sagramore? They're former Knights of the Round. Granted lands, titles and leadership of the Holy Orders in Euro Britannia after the Emperor released them from their oaths and gave them bounties as rewards for their years of service.”

“Trevin said no?”

“I know he and his brother talked about it, but ultimately, he declined. He said that he couldn't leave his brother's side in such a position even though technically we were serving on the same team.”

“You joined Romeo Blue?”

“Briefly. I think Tohdoh assigned me there since we were close to them before Knifehead. He wanted someone familiar to watch over me after...” she cleared her throat a little. “I left after...it...was a little awkward. Zero also had begun to approach me then and warned me away since they were still the Knights of Two. I joined Striker Eureka after that.”

“Conflict of interest,” Suzaku murmured.

“Big time,” she nodded. “But Trevin let me down sweetly. He's nice like that. I think his brother gave him so much grief after, since we did stay in touch and he gave me some advice if I were to choose another Knight. Plus, he always knew about you and me so which is why I think he also declined. He didn't want you to be my second Knight of Honor, subordinated to him when there was a chance while you were still alive and to be my first pick.”

“...Sorry,” Suzaku apologized.

Euphie shook her head. “Don't feel bad about it. Maybe in another life, we would have been the Knight and Lady. I'll always love you too. I'm happy Suzaku. I don't need a Knight to be happy. I just want us to be happy.”

He smiled as he finished stuffing the wiring back where it belonged. He knew she meant, him, Lelouch, Nunnally and herself. He headed over to help her up. She took his hand and planted a quick kiss on his cheek that he appreciated before they headed out of the conn-pod. Arthur and Elizabeth scampered after them as they headed down to the hanger bay floor.

They were met by a disdainful looking Marrybell mel Britannia and her Knight of Honor Oldrin Zevon. Suzaku paused, leery of the two since it had only been at least nine or so hours since the briefing.

“You,” Marrybell sniffed. He merely raised an eyebrow at her, not even deigning to greet her by her royal title.

“Marrybell!” Euphie had no compunctions and instead, launched herself into her younger half-sibling's arms, breaking the tension with a gigantic bear hug. It certainly startled the Britannian Princess and her Knight as they goggled at Euphie's action.

Marrybell squawked, her hands waving in the air awkwardly for a second before she gingerly wrapped them around her older half-sister and hugged her back. Her Knight relaxed her stance a little, seeing that her charge was not about to be assaulted in any manner except for an affectionate embrace. “I...uh...missed you too, sis...”

This close to each other, Suzaku could see the definite resemblance between the princesses. Both had eerily similar faces and eye shapes that one could easily mistaken them for twins. The only differences between Marrybell and Euphie was their hair color – though still very close that one could mistaken Marrybell's Hispanic peach-pink for Euphie's strawberry-pink – and their eyes; a cool violet that looked a lot like Lelouch's to Euphie's cornflower blue, the same color as Nunnally's.

“When did you and Oldrin get here? Did you come with Cornelia? How come I didn't see the Glinda Advancer? Where are you berthed? Where's Orpheus? Euliya?”

“We-ack-Euphie _Ican'tbreathe_ \- oh my God- whew,” Marrybell squawked in one breath before she took another deep one. “Got here after Cornelia came over. We were in holding pattern waiting for Sagramore to be docked before we were allowed in.” She got in another deep breath before her voice was back to its high-pitched state. “Oh God, is that...Euphie! You've got _grease_ in your hair!” Marrybell suddenly tried to push Euphie away only for the older royal to start giggling before she released her squirming sister.

“Oh ew...oh-”

“Oldrin, does she still _not_ help with repairs?”

“No, Your Highness,” Oldrin Zevon replied with a polite bow towards Euphie. “Marry still prefers to just do all of the technical work.”

Euphie sighed, shaking her head. “Gotta get your hands dirty some day, sis.”

“No, thank you,” Marrybell made a face. “Germs. Gross spaces, tiny gross spaces.”

“You pilot a Jaeger and you're worried about _germs_?” Euphie looked like she was about to laugh.

“I _tolerate_ them to a certain extent,” Marrybell groused before sticking a thumb towards her Knight. “She helps.”

The Knight had a rather serene look on her face, as if it was an old argument. She merely nodded once before clearing her throat with a hand to her lips. “Marry...”

“Hmm? Oh yeah,” Marrybell's demeanor changed completely before she looked back at Euphie. “Do you mind if we get a chance to talk alone?” The implication that she wanted him nowhere near whatever they were going to say was clear.

“I'm going to get some rest, Euphie. I'll see you later okay?” Suzaku cut in before Euphie could say anything. He waved a quick goodbye to her, Arthur and Elizabeth following him as he tucked his PDA under his arm and walked away, headed to his room.

He was getting a little tired after everything today and he knew his body still needed to heal. He arrived at his room shortly, the cats mewling around and settling into a corner with Elizabeth still playfully batting at Arthur's tail with the other cat still ignoring her.

Suzaku fell fast asleep, watching the cats play and forgot to turn off his lights.


	33. Chapter 33

Suzaku awoke with his alarm beeping at him and an unnatural brightness in his room. It was five in the morning. He absently reached over, only to feel air before his mind registered that he was in his own room, in a single bed.

What normally would have been Lelouch curled into him was not there. A part of him suddenly yearned to have his lover in his arms again. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he pushed himself up from his bed and into the bathroom.

Doing his business quickly, he finished up and changed into his PT clothing while making a note that he would need to head to the laundry room to get the dirtied linens and clothing in his bin cleaned some time.

He wrote a quick note to himself. Normally Shatterdome personnel had support staff that helped clean – especially for active duty Rangers during Orange and Red Alerts because of the unpredictability of how long it took for a kaiju to attack – but most of the time, each person was expected to look after themselves and their assigned rooms. He supposed with the lessening of personnel, even if they were on alert, support staff would be the first to be let go under a smaller budget.

He headed out, taking the elevator up to the outside world, the habits of old coming back quickly, and ran. January in Hong Kong was somewhat humid, nearing the tail end of one of the two monsoon seasons. However, it was still cold and the air re-energized Suzaku and woke him up as he took his laps around the outside of the base.

He loved calisthenics in the morning when he had attended Jaeger Academy, finding it a time for him to do nothing except to let his body relax. It had been quite fun to find ways to motivate Lelouch to do _his_ calisthenics when they had started to pair up, dragging his friend outside each morning even though Lelouch was such a heavy sleeper.

There were other PPDC personnel also running, but no one stopped each other, most of them also finding the time to relax or just concentrate on their own workouts. Suzaku finished his run quickly and headed back down. The cats were already gone from his room as he took another fast cold shower before heading to the mess hall for breakfast. He ate quickly, hoping to make good on his promise to see the other pilots before continuing the repair and prep work on Gipsy Danger.

He headed to the infirmary ward that house the Crimson Typhoon pair. Peering in, he saw that Tianzi was sleeping next to her pilots' beds, a golden-red embroidered pillow placed under her white hair.

Li Xingke's head was completely shaved, leaving him almost unrecognizable. There was a breathing tube inserted into his mouth along with dozens of machines hooked up to keep him in a medically induced coma. His skin was pale, but his heartbeat was steady. Next to him, was his adopted sister and wife, Zhou Xianglin. She was turned towards Xingke, but it looked unnatural. Someone had put their hands together in a facsimile of at least having the two pilots physically touch each other to lessen the severity of the post-combat ghost Drift even if they were unconscious.

“There's been no changes so far,” Leila Breisgau's quiet voice spoke up in the silent hallway and he turned to see her walking towards him, Elizabeth curled in her arms. Arthur padded near her feet, looking up at Elizabeth with inquisitive eyes. A white-socked paw seemingly reached down to Arthur before retracting and Elizabeth yawned widely.

“Mrow,” Arthur spotted him and trotted over. Suzaku knelt down to let the cat up into his arms. An unbidden smile appeared on his lips as the cat rested in much the same way Elizabeth had in her owner's arms.

“Arthur's been a good boy in his visits to Akito,” Leila smiled slightly before she turned to look through the window where the Chinese pilots laid. “How are you doing, Suzaku?”

“Better,” he replied, absently stroking Arthur behind his ears. The cat purred.

Leila was silent for a few minutes before she gestured with her chin towards the two pilots. “I tried to help them, but there was too much pain. Tianzi's presence is helping, I can feel that, but the two of them need to come out of it on their own before I can even try.”

Suzaku was mildly surprised that Leila had referenced her own Geass power on the assumption that he knew. He wondered if it was the 'feeling of connection' that Lelouch alluded to regarding Geass users and those with Geass cast upon them.

“Whatever he cast upon you, I hope it helps.”

He glanced at Leila. “Are you angry that he told me?”

“No,” she replied, “I knew he either eventually tell you or alienate you.” She shifted the bundle of cat in her arms before continuing to scratch Elizabeth's body.

“The power that we are given is the power kings. It is a lonely path we follow and so we cling onto our human natures.” Reaching up, she touched her left eye briefly and to Suzaku's surprise, it flared a glowing blue. The smallest sigil of a bird formed in it before it disappeared just as suddenly and Leila's eye color returned to its normal violet hue.

“Mine was given to me when I didn't yet understand the world. I was told that if I didn't use it before I became an adult, it would disappear completely since it wasn't a complete contract. Even now, I rarely use it, twice outside of combat. Once was to understand Akito, the other to understand Zero.”

“What did you understand from Le- from Zero?” he asked, curious.

“That he is a man who is drowning. He has never learned to swim with the current or against it to save himself. It's what makes him unique in the sense that if he was not such a person, then all of this, would be for naught.”

She absently scratched Elizabeth behind one of her ears, making the cat flinch and the little bell collar tinkle in the silence of the hall. “He knows he is drowning and yet, when he is about to go under, he takes one last look and finds the life raft he is looking for and clings onto it, if for a moment to save himself before he is consumed again.”

“Am I supposed to be the life raft in this metaphor?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No. You're the one _throwing_ him the life raft, not the raft itself. His rage and hatred is the current that he is drowning from. I never knew him before Knifehead, but when he approached me in its aftermath, it was all I saw – an ocean of rage, sorrow and hatred. For the kaiju and for the one who started it all.”

She gestured with her chin towards the two Chinese pilots. “They are drowning in too much pain. I can't help them right now. Maybe...maybe in a few days when their pain has eased. But right now...”

A silence fell between them for a few minutes as Suzaku contemplated her words.

“He told me to 'live'.” He didn't know why he felt compelled to talk to Leila about the Geass Lelouch cast upon him. He winced as he felt a burning sensation in the back of his eyes. He squinted and saw from the reflection in the window, the same red ring that had occasionally flickered into Akito's eyes appear around his own green ones. It was eerie, but disappeared just as quickly as did the stinging sensation behind it.

“For the drowning man, a wise command to give the one who will throw him a life raft to save him for just a little longer,” Leila nodded. “Poetic too.”

“Akito told me about his own Geass,” he blurted out. “About how he fights it.” He didn't want to say anything about the blue-haired soldier's fatalistic words of how he was going to one day lose the fight.

Leila absently stroked Elizabeth's fur, making the cat yawn in her arms, showing little pointed teeth and two front legs before she curled back up as Leila shifted her arms.

“Akito claims he will lose the fight one day,” Leila's voice was a little sad, but her eyes showed no emotion as she turned to look at Suzaku. She blinked stoically.

“We live as if each day would be his last, but hope he would see tomorrow's sun rise. On our last trip, we found his brother. He refused to remove the command after all these years. It was...disappointing. But Akito knew he was loved as a result. It was not out of hatred that the Geass was cast upon him, but of love and an unwillingness to let him see the future that would come to pass after the Breach is closed.”

Dread formed in Suzaku. “...War...” he whispered.

She nodded once. “Zero is right to prepare. He who is drowning in his own rage and sorrow threw the life raft that he had been given to the rest of humanity.”

“He said you were the best one to lead in his stead after-”

“I know I am,” she nodded. He didn't expect her to be humble about it, but her bold statement did shock him a little. “But I am also still searching for my own answers. Perhaps Zero's plan has merit, but there are still those of the Order who have orchestrated this. I took it upon myself, with C.C's blessing and as much help as Zero could have given me, to hunt down the Order. If not for my husband's sake, but for my own.”

Suzaku blinked and saw the conviction in her eyes. She had her own part to play in whatever came after the closing of the Breach.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked.

“Not now, but perhaps if you and Zero survive, there will be. You are one of the very lucky ones to have been given a Geass you will embrace wholeheartedly. I can only do so much for those around us to understand,” she sighed and hefted her cat in her arms, making a small 'mew' of protest emerge from Elizabeth's mouth.

“We'll talk again, Suzaku, before all of this is over. Truth be told, I am glad you are back and that you're alive. Though this is the second time we've met in all of the years we've been fighting in this war, you've had mine and my husband's admiration for a while now.”

She glanced down at the hall and canted her head for a second. A wistful smile appeared on her face before she turned back to look at him. “He's awake. Talk to him, Suzaku. Akito would appreciate the visit as well as to see Arthur.”

“Thank you,” Suzaku appreciated her generosity and nodded once to her before they both parted. He took one last look at the window of the infirmary ward that housed the injured Chinese pilots. He hoped that one day, Leila would be able to help them start the healing process.

* * *

Suzaku's talk with Akito, while quiet, had a pleasant hum of burgeoning friendship between them. The man was hooked up to a nasal cannula, aiding him in his recovery. His lungs were not so damaged from the poisonous kaiju blue, but he would need help breathing for the next few days as they slowly healed. Like his own encounter with the toxic fumes, Suzaku knew that it would be at least a week or two before Akito was back in shape.

His fellow pilot had also found it somewhat amusing that Suzaku now sat before him with a Geass command within him that was diametrically opposite of his own. A macabre joke was shared between them – and warmed Suzaku a lot that Akito wasn't as fatalistic as their first chat – that when he recovered, they needed to spar in the Kwoon with their Geass active to see which one was stronger – the will to live or the will to die.

It was only a joke that could have been produced by the long years of war and shared camaraderie and experiences. Arthur also seemed to enjoy the visit as he had immediately leapt onto the other man's bed and padded over, demanding to be scratched. When the visit was over, Suzaku had left Arthur there to keep Akito company.

But the scant couple of days before the predicted Triple Event erased the pleasantness of the visit. Suzaku found himself busier than ever, shuttling back and forth between working on Gipsy Danger with the repair crews, helping out Striker Eureka's crews to make sure the nuclear payload was secure, as well as checking on Euphie and the others in LOCENT.

He barely saw Lelouch in the last few days, the ghost Drift between them still running strong, but the need for physical contact and grounding lessening with the seriousness of the situation. Most of the time he saw his partner, Lelouch was talking with Tohdoh. He had no doubts that Lelouch was preparing Tohdoh for whatever was after the Breach had closed.

However, in a surprise move from Lelouch that Suzaku had never realized he was actually capable of, there had been a knock on his door the morning of the predicted Triple Event. He was about to leave for his morning calisthenics to find Lelouch standing in front of his door – mask and all – with an unspoken, but obvious proposal of spending some time together before things got really ugly.

Suzaku was very surprised. Lelouch had almost never offered sex on a whim. It wasn't part of their normal habits. The times they where together was mostly by mutual agreement or enjoying the contact-fueled high of post-combat Drifting. The one time that Lelouch offered was graduation day and even then he had been rather insistent considering it was his first time ever. Suzaku had been initially hesitant to take his best friend's virginity, but Lelouch _was_ rather persuasive through his persistent kisses as they had made their way into their shared dorm room that night.

The fact that Lelouch was offering without a single word but with and understanding of their long-standing friendship had touched Suzaku. For the first time ever, Suzaku declined, though he made sure Lelouch felt the surge of affection and love to know that it wasn't out of malice nor of the lack of trust. He knew it had only been offered partially because of 'we may die tomorrow (maybe later this morning) so let's make the most of it' sentimentality. But also because he was determined to make sure that they _didn't_ die so they _could_ possibly enjoy more time with each other after the Breach was destroyed.

Lelouch, or rather Zero had only laughed lightly and appreciated his honesty before he turned to leave to continue his own preparations.

* * *

The urgency of preparations peaked later that day with the blaring of alarms in LOCENT. Suzaku nearly hit his head against the console as he finished a final check of the communications lines between Gipsy's conn-pod and Euphie's station. He scrambled out, unplugging the wires attached to his PDA as he heard the opening of the LOCENT doors followed by several footsteps and the snap of a cape.

“What do we have?” Tohdoh's voice asked behind them.

Euphie was typing furiously before she brought up an enlarged map of the Breach showing the radius and diameter of its opening. “K-Watch, reporting at least two kaijus. They've dubbed them, Scunner and Raiju, Category 4s.”

“Only two?” Lelouch asked sharply, his voice reverberating under his mask.

“Two,” Euphie confirmed.

“I thought you said Triple Event,” Cornelia's voice sounded right next to Lelouch and Suzaku turned slightly to see the two of them nearly shoulder to shoulder, staring over Euphie's station.

“Where are they headed?” Lelouch ignored Cornelia's comment.

“Er...that's the thing. K-Watch is saying that they're not going anywhere. They're...just hovering over the Breach.”

“What?”

“Fuck,” Lelouch's swear overrode the confusion in Cornelia's voice. “They're waiting...they know we're coming.”

“How the hell would they know?!” Cornelia demanded.

Suzaku did not miss the quick look Lelouch threw at him from behind the helmet before he turned and walked to where Tohdoh was standing at the command post. Suzaku had a feeling that somehow, the Emperor or the kaiju had discerned their intentions to go after the Breach. How they did it was still beyond him, but it definitely proved that this was was planned. The kaiju were intelligent or had some kind of mechanism to make them know that they were going to be attacked or were waiting for _something_. The third kaiju? The predicted Triple Event? They didn't know.

“Tohdoh, sound the general alarm and get all crews ready. We need to make for the Breach now,” Lelouch said, his voice low and urgent.

Tohdoh nodded before sounding a general all-call. “This is Field Marshal Tohdoh, all hands report to combat stations, this is a Red Alert. All hands report to combat stations, Red Alert. This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill. All pilots, report to Jaegers, all pilots report to Jaegers. Operation Pitfall is now in effect.” He released the button for the all call and turned to Lelouch. “Good luck.”

Lelouch nodded once before he headed out of LOCENT, Cornelia hot on his tail. Suzaku let loose a breath he didn't realize he was holding before he too started to follow, only for Euphie to call his name.

“Suzaku!”

He turned, catching her as she hugged him tightly. He returned the favor, wrapping his arms around her gently, a sad smile on his face. He was aware of how public LOCENT was, but at this point, didn't quite care. He could literally die in the scant few hours and it was the only way to thank her for all she had done by bringing him back from Alaska.

“Don't die, okay? Come back to me alive. Bring him with you. I...don't want to lose the two of you ever again,” he heard her whisper in his ear and he nodded against her pink tresses.

“I won't. I'll bring him back with me,” he replied quietly.

Her arms loosened around him, but she didn't fully release him as she reached up to run a calloused thumb across his chin. “You are his, but remember that I also love you.”

Her kiss was chaste, gentle and very much what he had imagined if he had not chosen Lelouch as his partner and lover. She tasted sweet, like honey. And for a moment, Suzaku allowed himself to enjoy the moment of brief possibilities if things were different.

The moment passed as she ended the kiss and stared at him, her expression solemn. She nodded once and he nodded in return before he left her arms. He passed Tohdoh, the two of them sharing a look before Tohdoh inclined his head in a casual farewell. He smiled in return. His former mentor was still like a father to him in ways, but they had outgrown the notion to become more like equals. Two soldiers in the long war.

Outside, he saw Lelouch waiting for him. Cornelia was already ahead, joined by Guilford as the two made their way to the pilot ready room.

“You two would have been a perfect Knight and Lady,” Lelouch said. Even under the modulation the helmet produced, he sounded wistful.

“Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot?” Suzaku asked, referencing the ancient myths of Arthurian legend that the Britannian rulers claimed to have descended from.

“Marrying Euphie would have genetically dire consequences if we were to have children,” Lelouch's helmeted form glanced at him as if he was a little crazy for suggesting it.

“You did say that you might have once been engaged to her when you were younger,” he shot back.

“True,” Lelouch replied thoughtfully before his next words definitely gave Suzaku the impression that he was smirking under his helmet. “But, I'm not inclined to share.”

“Nor am I inclined to betray you in that fashion,” he smiled slightly. “Though considering we're about to go die-”

“You would have the _worst_ timing if you're thinking of propositioning-”

Suzaku laughed. “No, just nostalgia at this point. There's a sense of peace that you reach when you realize you're so close to your goal and you can do nothing except hurl towards it, to embrace your destiny.”

He could almost imagine Lelouch raising an eyebrow in surprise under his helmet. “You never get this philosophical.”

“I spent years in your brain, Zero,” he shot his friend a sardonic look. “You tend to brood as much as you tend to analyze.”

Lelouch chuckled softly. “Then let's finish this. One last mission.”

“One last mission,” he echoed as they entered the ready room. C.C. met them at the entrance with Lelouch's drivesuit as they went to a more private location for him to change. The other pilots were already being outfitted by their own drivesuit technician teams.

“ _Ready, cousin?_ ” Kaguya's voice piped up to his right and Suzaku saw her gesturing for him to follow.

“ _Ready_ ,” he replied in Japanese. He followed her to a different location in the vast room, a privacy screen pulled across to let him strip to his underwear before he was fitted into the circuitry suit. The curtain was drawn back as he was zipped up. Kaguya and the rest of her team started to outfit him with the matte black pieces of ballistic protection as he also saw his fellow pilots finishing up.

Kallen was chatting excitedly to Gino. The Knight of Three was laughing rather boisterously, his voice echoing across the vast room. Cornelia and Guilford had their heads together, smiling at each other. He didn't know what they were saying, but they seemed content. The two that piloted the Sagramore were chuckling quietly over some kind of inside joke, while it looked like Marrybell was attempting to undress her Knight, Oldrin, with her eyes and probably some salacious words considering how red the Knight had turned while desperately trying to cover herself with just her hands and pieces of the ballistic portion of her drivesuit. The Hispanic-looking Princess had an eerily sardonic smile that made her look a lot like Lelouch.

“Oh my God, get a room,” Kallen muttered loudly much to Oldrin's embarrassment while Marrybell practically cackled before allowing their team to finish outfitting them. Kallen marched past him, headed out of the ready room to Striker's conn-pod. “Gino, see you in a few.”

“Eh, I wouldn't be surprise if they did it in the conn-pod before we even launched,” Gino stopped near him as he nodded to his partner's words.

“Really, Gino?” Suzaku did _not_ need that particular mental image in his head. Right before Drifting. Even _he_ would not hear the end of it from Lelouch if he ever came into the Drift with that image.

“They're young pilots. They haven't sortied that much. They're only...what, twenty-one, twenty-two? Something like that.”

“They're adults with at least four years of Ranger training. They should know better.”

“Eh,” the Knight of Three waved his hand as if it was nothing. “Royals. They're weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Suzaku shook his head. “You wanted to chat?”

“That obvious?”

“Well...considering I'm-”

“ _You're all set_ ,” Kaguya piped up as she finished the last of the bolts. She handed him his helmet and he put it on, letting the Pons gel flow into the rest of the circuitry. She stepped away to let Gino approach.

“Hey, I know it's a bit late, but I wanted to make sure you're okay?” Gino's eyes looked concerned.

It didn't take long for Suzaku to catch onto the fact that the blond-haired pilot was talking about Zero as Lelouch walked out of the private room, fully dressed. C.C. was holding his outfit and helmet, her golden eyes staring straight at them. Instead of the crooked smile he was used to seeing her wear on her face, she looked quite solemn.

Lelouch had taken one look at Marrybell and Oldrin's shenanigans before shaking his head and face palming into his helmet. Cornelia and Guilford had both pulled the two apart after their technicians had finished with them and Cornelia was now talking with a still-cackling Marrybell. It was eerily reminiscent of their old days – more innocent days of the war.

“I'm fine,” Suzaku knew the Knight meant well, but he nodded. “We talked. I've come to accept it.”

He saw a slight frown on Gino's face. “It's not...healthy to keep that shit bottled up, Suzaku,” the blond-haired pilot pressed his lips together. “Are you sure? I mean we all knew who Zero, or Julius Kingsley I guess was, before we got here. Having someone that ruthless and analytical in your head-”

“Gino. I'm fine. He's my Drift partner. I trust him.”

Blue eyes searched him for what seemed like a long time before Gino slowly nodded. “All right...I trust you Suzaku.” The Knight sighed. “I do have to warn you that with Cornelia here, things are...complicated.”

“Knight of Three duties,” Suzaku said solemnly as they both glanced at the Field Marshal.

“I am bound by Britannian law and the Emperor's orders to arrest a wanted fugitive. I've been able to ignore it for the most part, the kaiju war delegating that to a secondary need since Zero's been helping us, but you heard about the Britannian forces just outside international waters?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah...if we all survive this shit...” Gino shook his head. “If I'm ordered to go after Zero, I know you'll probably try to defend him. I don't want to fight you Suzaku. Not for him. I want your word that you'll stay out of it, Drift partner or not. Let us quietly arrest him, without any issue. I'll make sure he gets a fair trial. I'll make sure he gets a chance to explain his actions.”

Suzaku was quiet. Had it really come to this already? Years and years of fighting on the same front lines, only to see the approaching tunnel to the end of the war and then to find out that all of the treaties, friendships and cross culture exchanges ready to be instantly broken because of the differences between them?

“I can't give you my word, Gino.” He looked away. “And I can't tell you why. It's not my secret to tell.”

He normally would have ended the conversation then and there, but this was Gino he was talking to. Gino had befriended him with no reservations or care of whom he was in the height of the scandal that had nearly derailed his and Lelouch's careers as PPDC Rangers. Though their contact with each other in the intervening years after that particular incident had been sparse, each time Suzaku had found Gino to have a rather childlike enthusiasm for anything normal because of his sheltered noble background. Unlike Lelouch who had his opinions, Gino had no reservations about anything and tried everything with a gusto that sometimes made Suzaku wonder why the Knight of Three had seemingly latched onto him as his one and only friend at times back then. Now, he knew better – Gino had more than likely been looking for an escape from the horrors of Drifting with the Knight of Ten.

“I hope that order doesn't come down if we win because I don't want us to end up fighting. I can't give you my word for the same reasons you can't give me your word that you won't go after Zero.” He finally looked back, hoping that the answer would satisfy Gino.

There was a sad disappointment in the Knight of Three's expression that seemed to break in Suzaku. He could see the years of friendship ending between them as the other man nodded solemnly. They both understood that neither one of them would back down.

All for one man.

“Well then...” Gino cleared his throat lightly before holding out his hand for Suzaku to shake. He met it with a firm grip. “Good luck to us all.”

Suzaku didn't say anything as he released Gino's hand and watched the Knight leave the ready room. He felt Lelouch approach and turned to see him staring after Gino's back. He could feel the unspoken query press in their bond.

“I think...I might have lost a friend...” Suzaku murmured.

“It's already happening even if we didn't want it to,” Lelouch replied quietly, his voice no longer reverberating with the ridiculous bombastic tones of Zero. “You okay?”

“I'll be fine,” Suzaku replied before shaking his head and laughing weakly. “Everyone's been asking me that.”

“It'll be over soon.”

“Yeah,” he replied before clapping Lelouch on the back. “Let's go.”

They headed out of the ready room. A disquieting thought occurred to Suzaku as they ascended the stairs to Gipsy's conn-pod. “Hey, Lelouch,” he murmured softly. There was no one nearby to hear them and he was sure there were no listening devices on the stairs.

“Yeah?”

“Did you ever visit Nunnally...after?”

Lelouch hesitated before nodding slowly. “I...did, but from a distance.” At Suzaku's curious look he explained. “I couldn't do it in an official capacity. Everyone thought Nunnally was dead already and with me being listed as dead, it was hard to get to the island without being caught by security. I managed to get there, let Sayoko know I was alive, but that's about it. I also didn't want to tell Nunnally that I was alive when I didn't know if I was going to survive all these years. Better to let her think I was dead then to give her false hope.”

Suzaku glanced at him, the feeling of disappointment strong in their bond. However, he also understood. Lelouch cared too much for Nunnally to jeopardize her safety in any way. “If we survive this...”

A faint smile appeared on Lelouch's face. “Maybe...”

“We have to,” he insisted.

“All right...” Lelouch caved quickly. Suzaku smiled. “I hate you...” his friend said, but it was not malicious.

“I saw her, Lelouch. She misses you even after all these years, but she's strong. Stronger than either of us. Euphie was kind to her in the five years. Euphie helped her stay strong.”

“I know...” his friend sighed as they stopped just outside the conn-pod. Normally Suzaku would have expected someone to ask if they had really just fucked up, but this was Lelouch. He knew his partner would never say such needless and idiotic sentimental words like that. There was no need. He kept it bottled up inside of him and fixed it whenever he could – or with insistent prodding by Suzaku.

He reached out, squeezing his friend's shoulder once before they entered the conn-pod. They got themselves settled as Gipsy came online, humming at one-hundred percent efficiency. Going through the motions with Euphie as she counted down their time to sync, they were sucked into the Drift – more pleasant images filling this particular one instead of the emotionally fraught memories that had defined their first Drift since Knifehead.

“Right hemisphere aligned...” their on-board computer intoned and they raised their right hand.

“Left hemisphere aligned.” They raised their left hand and lowered it, settling themselves in a familiar opening fighting stance.

Suzaku glanced to his left, meeting Lelouch's eyes. They shared a grin. _Whatever happens, we'll stop the kaiju and save everyone. No one has to die by their hands. We'll finish this fight, together._


	34. Chapter 34

A veritable fleet of Jumphawks lifted the five Jaegers from Hong Kong Shatterdome across several hundreds of miles of ocean to the drop point where the continental shelf dropped off into the Mariana Trench. As he and Lelouch flipped the switches to seal off the seawater as they dove, Suzaku glanced over to his friend. “You should at least make a speech...”

“Why?”

“It's your plan. You're the leader. You stepped forward. Now lead the troops that are following.”

“You really think they'll listen to Zero? You think Cornelia and the others will?”

“The others at the Shatterdome already do. I don't think they care who you are. They just know you're leading the effort to stop the kaiju. I think Cornelia and the others know it too, which is why they're trusting you at the moment to get them this far.”

“I'm not-”

“Don't say you're not prone to dramatics, you drama queen. You love the attention and you love when your plans come together,” he smiled tightly.

Lelouch licked his lips behind his helmet. “And you get a kick out of it too,” he shot back.

Suzaku felt himself warm follow by the _very_ embarrassing flashing image that ran through their Drift of their recent bout of sex. It seductively whispered to them to chase that particular RABIT, but luckily they both accepted it and it faded away just as quickly.

“Gipsy, LOCENT here, are you okay?” Euphie's voice broke through.

“Fine,” Suzaku stabbed the button. “Minor annoyance.” He released the button and shook his head at his partner. “I can't believe-”

“If there was anyone who was going to bring _that_ into the Drift, it was going to be you. Also...it was a hypothesis of mine for the longest time since you told me on that night.”

“You remembered all the way back then?”

“I've lived in your head for years, Suzaku,” Lelouch shot back impishly before he cleared his throat. “Fine. Speech. You do know what's going to happen if I make a speech.”

“But at this point, do you really care?”

_No._ They both thought at the same time. They were hurling towards their deaths, they could see it. Survival was minimal if this Operation was a success. No regrets. Nothing left behind. Knight and Prince as equals. It wasn't breaking his promise to Euphie, but they also knew she would understand on some level. They were happy. They had found each other and even though Suzaku would still never forgive Lelouch for the aftermath of Knifehead, they were at peace. They trusted one another again.

Lelouch sighed, shaking his head before he keyed the comms. “LOCENT, broadband transmission please.”

“Er...Zero...” Euphie sounded a little hesitant.

“Please, Euphie,” Lelouch insisted quietly.

“...All right,” she replied before a squealing sound was heard.

As they moved through the darkening waters, Suzaku absently flipped over to thermals on their HUD, the ocean coming alive in a multitude of cold and hot signatures.

Lelouch took a deep breath and let it out. “Everyone! Listen up!”

_Gino and Kallen started in Striker Eureka, staring over to where the distinctive reddish outline of Gipsy Danger was walking ahead of them to their right. They both shared a look. That voice...it really was no fluke. That really was-_

“Today...today, at the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have not only chosen to believe in ourselves, but in each other.”

_Cornelia and Guilford were concentrated on the steps in front of them, knowing that they were coming close to the edge of the continental shelf. But they could feel the well of guilt flow through them. They had deliberately pulled apart the bonds of friendship and allies when they had demanded Zero be arrested. But now, it was all but what Guilford could do to support his Princess – that voice that was speaking so compellingly – it was a voice that was once thought long dead._

_Cornelia's beloved younger half-brother was still alive – as the vengeful Zero. Lelouch Lamperouge had not died the day Knifehead pulled him from Gipsy Danger. And Cornelia felt her resolve weaken._

“Today, there's not a man nor women here that shall stand alone.”

_Marrybell mel Britannia and Oldrin Zevon sat in Glinda Advancer with a clear view of Gipsy Danger's back in their formation. Things were finally in motion and both of them knew that Zero's, or rather Lelouch's, carefully laid plans were about to bear fruit. What happened after, they weren't sure, but they would play their part in perfect harmony._

_That was the trust they had from Zero._

“Not today.”

_Euphie ignored the shocked expressions on people's faces as it began to dawn on them just who Zero was. She continued to monitor the Breach, K-Watch's feeds and Gipsy's own readouts. It had been a long time coming, but even she could not have set a more magnificent stage for her brilliant, deadly brother. She was so proud of him._

“Today, we face the monsters that are at our door, and bring the _fight to them..._ Today, we are _canceling_ the apocalypse!”

Lelouch released the button on the comms and another squeal was heard as Euphie disconnected their general call and turned it back to just LOCENT and the five other Jaegers. He turned to Suzaku who merely rolled his eyes. Amusement flowed through their Drift.

_Drama queen._

_You loved it._

“Everyone, coming up onto the drop,” Euphie spoke up, giving no hint of her feelings towards the speech that had just been made.

“We see it,” Suzaku keyed back. “Gipsy headed down in three, two, one-”

They pushed off from the shelf and landed with their knees bent. The others also chimed in as they followed.

“Glinda Advancer, halting at the edge. We've got your backs,” Marrybell's voice chimed in over the comms. The distinctive whine of their long-range weapons systems was heard powering up.

There was no visibility now and they navigated by thermals. Volcanic vents lit up bright spots in their vision.

“Sagramore, on advance point,” one of the knights in the rather large and bulky Jaeger hung back near where they had landed in the drop. The crackle of power ran through the comms as it too, powered up its long-range experimental shoulder-mounted gauss cannon.

“LOCENT, Striker, where the fuck is the Breach?”

“Three-hundred meters ahead of you-” Ohgi's voice came over.

“We see it,” Cornelia's voice interrupted. “Striker, keep advancing forward. You're almost close to it.”

“LOCENT to all Jaegers, there should be two kaiju swimming about. They're moving fast, so we can't quite pinpoint them, but watch out for sneak attacks,” Euphie's voice was calm and steady.

“Jaegers this is Leila, we're sending you the latest telemetry on the kaiju.”

Suzaku saw Lelouch bring up the imagery for Scunner and Raiju. Lelouch depressed a button. “Leila, Zero here, dilatation of the Breach reveal our third one yet?”

“Nothing on sensors. I'm routed into all of K-Watch. It's not moved either.”

“Shit,” he replied back before they quickly studied the two outlines given.

“Zero, Vincent Kai here,” Cornelia suddenly spoke up, “we can move forward to draw-”

“Negative, Vincent, hold position, keep an eye on the sensors. We can't risk anything yet. Glinda, set for concussion mortars.”

“Aye, mortars set,” Marrybell echoed the order.

“Zero, Striker here, you see Scunner-”

“Plated, yeah,” Lelouch replied. “It's built for defense. Sagramore, your gauss must have to precision take it out.”

“Got it,” one of the pilots of Sagramore replied. “Setting for maximum?”

“Maximum,” Lelouch confirmed.

“Zero that's four-”

“Zero, it's plated, but did you _really look_ at the profile,” Gino cut in, his voice insistent. “It looks like-”

“Knifehead,” Suzaku finished for him. “...Cute.”

“All the more opportunity to kill it,” Lelouch replied darkly and Suzaku could feel the hum of pleasure spread through their Drift. He nodded. If it really was Charles zi Britannia feeding information to these sons of bitches, the profile for Scunner was deliberately designed to provoke or throw their mindset off.

_I'm game if you are._

“Scunner is designed as a battering ram,” Lelouch keyed the comms. “Avoid the head where the plates are. This one will move fast, but slower than Raiju. You're going to have to cut it up first before you can kill it in the head. Vincent, skewering it is the best way, pin it and Striker can take its blades and use it to ride it into the Breach.”

“And Raiju?”

“Too fast, built for speed. It's got a wide maw, built for bite and tearing,” Lelouch quickly. “Glinda, you're gonna have to mortar it to stun it. Drive it into one of the volcanic vents area. We'll kill it.”

“Gipsy you're not built-”

“Doesn't matter. Raiju's the threat. If that thing is fast, it'll take out Striker before it can move against Scunner.”

“What about the third one-”

“Sagramore's going to have to handle alone once we engage.”

“We'll keep it busy. Glinda can support while you finish off Raiju, Gipsy.”

“Then Glinda, let's wake these bastards up,” Lelouch ordered.

Though they couldn't see the mortars launched, they saw several small pings on the radar before they suddenly felt multiple pressure points explode around them-

_There!_

Scunner came diving out of the darkness, a scream reverberating in the water. They met the beast as it charged at them and caught up in its boned plate, driving them back against the dirt and rocks. Grunting, they pushed off against it, twisting just so until they locked one of their elbows against Scunners' neck and pounded it twice with their fists.

They lifted their right arm and activated the blade, ready to drive it into the skull-

Suzaku screamed, a tearing pain shooting up his right arm as consoles immediately burst into reds and water started to flood in. Their right arm was gone. Ripped away- He could feel electrical feedback shooting up his arm as he- as they stumbled in the water-

“Gipsy your arm!” Someone shouted over the comms.

“No shit!” they shot back as they staggered. There was yelling across the comms, someone yelling about containing Raiju-

Only to suddenly nearly fall down as _something_ tore through their left leg-

“FUCK!” They looked down to see Scunner, attempting to eat its way through their machine. They immediately activated the left blade and slammed it down right in between the bony plates, incoherent rage emerging from their mouths.

_Vents!_ They spotted the bright orange glow of a volcanic vent nearby, and half dragged the wriggling Scunner as it screamed and _screamed_ \- Blood leaked out of their ears as they tried to drown out the sound that was making their heads hurt so much. When the screams were suddenly silence for just a moment as concussion mortars fell around them-

They heaved and wrenched Scunner's head into the vent. “Burn you son of a bitch!”

The kaiju writhed, but they growled as they didn't dare let go-

“Category 5 emerging from the Breach!”

Suddenly they felt something kick them, sending them to the ocean floor hard, and they gasped as they felt a definitive _crack_ somewhere in their chest.

They laid there, stunned, gasping for air as Scunner wriggled free. Through their hazy pain, they saw its profile disappear before a new one emerged from the orange-blue glow of the Breach.

“Well...fuck,” Striker Eureka's voice came over as Gipsy tried to pull themselves up.

A cursory check of the systems showed heavy damage, but they were still functional. They had to be. They coughed, pain shooting up their right arm and into their chest. Something had broken, they were sure of it. But the forced themselves to try to stand up, wobbling unsteadily as dizziness and their damaged leg made it very hard.

“Category 5, Slattern. STRIKER, _GET AWAY FROM THE TAIL_ -” Leila's warning came too late.

They lifted their heads just in time to see a triple-set of barbed tentacles that made up the prehensile of Slattern curl and slam into Striker. It should have been impossible, giving the density of the water. The Jaeger's chest caved with a screech of metal as it was sent back against the cliff wall that they had jumped off of.

“Protect Striker, Sagramore!” Vincent Kai's command came over before it leapt at the massively _huge_ beast. Cornelia and Guilford thrust their lance forward in an attempt to skewer the kaiju, only for it to be blocked by the triple tail curling around like a defensive fanned weapon. A a massive claw struck the Vincent Kai, tearing apart the side of the Jaeger. The shriek of damaged systems echoed across the comms and cries of pain was heard.

“Vincent Kai, damaged in the chest. We're taking in water- not too much, but we're still functional-

“Gipsy, Raiju coming at you _fast, ten o'clock_!”

They turned at Euphie's warning and saw the open maw of Raiju ready to take another bite out of them as the water around it reverberated from its scream. Multiple missiles blasted around the kaiju, but Glinda Advancer's blind bombardment did nothing to slow it down-

_Speed advantage, but no armor_ , they saw as they recognized the soft underbelly that looked exactly like Clawhook. They knew what they had to do and activated their left hand blade, pointing it like a jousting lance.

Raiju's open maw and lack of awareness ran straight into their blade, the metal tearing right through the skin and flesh before they dropped their elbow and knee. They grunted against the pressure of the kaiju running itself to death on their blade before just as suddenly the pressure was gone. The HUD noting Raiju winked out. It was dead.

They coughed again, Suzaku wincing at how hard it hurt to breathe. He turned and saw that blood was dripping down Lelouch's lip. _Shit_ , he thought as he met the pain-filled gaze. It was Lelouch who had broken his ribs and was coughing blood. Which meant that at least one had punctured his lungs.

_I'm fine_ , his partner thought back. _It's not the lungs. I can feel it._

There was truth in those thoughts and Suzaku nodded. He trusted him to tell him. Lelouch had broken a rib, but all it was, was pain at the moment. He reluctantly turned back, immersing himself into their Drift once more.

Striker Eureka was staggering to its feet, activating its sting blades to meet the incoming attack from the newly emerged Category 5 kaiju Slattern. They watched as it dodged and skewered the beast in two of its four arms as Sagramore came in close to closer around its tail-

Only for the beast to raise its head high and _scream_. The sound waves stunned those around them and even they winced as it impacted their conn-pod, blasting around them like an air horn that had just gone off in front of them. Striker was struck again by the tail, sending it reeling, fuel and fluid dripping from its gashes, and thrown to the floor before the pilots cursed.

“Shit the nuke!”

“LOCENT, the nuke got knocked off- Fucking hell, SHIT!”

Striker barely held back an over head blow from Slattern as it slammed its claws down on them. The tail battered Sagramore onto the defensive as it seemingly operated with a mind of its own.

“Striker, we're on-”

“Glinda coming down now, headed your way-”

“No, wait Glinda, _don't_ -”

Marrybell and Oldrin's screams filled the comms as Suzaku and Lelouch watched, horrified as Scunner rammed into the Glinda Advancer from out of nowhere. It tore the Jaeger apart. The sounds of metal scraping across the ground was suddenly cut off.

“Glinda, status! GLINDA!” Lelouch shouted. Suzaku knew why. Glinda Advancer was a Mark IV, but it was built with the lightest materials in order to offset its heavy complement of missiles and long-range weaponry. It was also why Lelouch had ordered it to stay as far back as possible. It was not built for heavy-duty combat.

“Heavily damaged, we're taking...taking on too much water-”

“That's enough, you've done enough, jettison and get out of here!” Lelouch's voice was desperate as his breath hitched in pain and the surge of emotion around them.

“But Z-Zero-”

“Do it! That's an order!” Cornelia's voice cut in, her own voice rough and her breathing unsteadily heaving as they saw Vincent limping near them.

“Oh shit... Guys, I know where the nuke went!” Kallen's voice was filled with dread and the symbol for the bomb suddenly popped up, right on top of Slattern. It was hovering closer to Striker and Sagramore's position, but not moving. The kaiju had picked the damn thing up. Around it, Scunner was swimming nearby, covering the Category 5 from any enterprising attacks.

“Fuck...they knew we had it?!” Gino's voice was shocked beyond belief. “But how?!”

_He knew it...and he predicted it_ , Suzaku thought darkly.

_It's not over yet_ , the shared thought passed between them.

Lelouch stabbed the comm button. “Striker, detonate the payload.”

“What?! But-”

“Do it! We'll handle this,” Lelouch ordered.

_We're nuclear. We'll use the distraction and get to the Breach._

“Two pods, jettisoning from Glinda Advancer!” Someone in LOCENT called over the comms.

“Striker! Now!”

“Do it! Gipsy is nuclear!” Cornelia reinforced the order as they saw the Vincent's marker slowly turn towards them, determined to help them get to the Breach. The plan was still in play.

They turned to try to find the remnants of Raiju's carcass.

There was the grinding of movement before Kallen's voice came over. “We've dug in, Sagramore?”

“Set, hit it Kouzuki!”

“ _Ja ne_ ,” the Japanese woman spat out in contempt before the bomb exploded.

The only image they had was their screens whiting out as they slammed their left blade into the ground, the wave of nuclear material and water blasting past them with an incredible force that threw them forward into their harness. They choked, gasping as the air went out of their lungs just as they hung limply, only to be suddenly slammed backwards with equal force as the wall of water came crashing back down around them from the blast.

Alarms blared and more water started to pour in. Suzaku blearily glanced at the readouts. They were now severely damaged. He keyed the comms, but there was nothing but static. The HUD was fizzling with information, but it was hard to tell if Striker and Sagramore had survived the blast. The only thing they saw was Vincent Kai, but even then, their HUD only showed a brief outline of the Jaeger.

They pushed themselves up painfully, ignoring their wounds and the stabbing pain that took each breath from them. They limped, using Gipsy's left blade as a cane of sorts as they found the remnants of Raiju's carcass, still dripping fresh blood and gripped it as they dragged it and themselves to the Breach.

Suzaku reached up to the comms, his right arm still shaking from the after effects of the electrical feedback from the drivesuit and depressed the button. “LOCENT, if you can hear me...we've got the carcass...and are making...for the Breach.”

There was no answer.

The blast must have fried their comms., but they hoped that Euphie and the others could see them moving on their end. They could see the glowing orange-blue edges now, the dilatation of the Breach holding. It was oddly beautiful in an alien sort of way, but that was the least of their concerns as a shadow passed overhead and suddenly 6,750 tons of kaiju landed in front of them.

Slattern was still alive.

_Fuck me..._ the thought passed through them as they stared at the hulking, bleeding beast. It was severely injured, that much was certain. Kaiju blue spurted everywhere, creating contrails of water that glowed an eerie blue. It growled, low, challenging as if it dared them to go past it.

They dropped Raiju's carcass unceremoniously to the seafloor. Shaking their heads, they knew what needed to be done in order to end this. They activated their jets and shot forward, a cry of absolute fury emerging from their lips as they tackled Slattern, sending it over the edge and down into the Breach-

And embedded their blade deep into its neck, using their momentum to ride the wounded kaiju all the way down, the crackles of blue lightning starting to form around them...only to scream again as an incredible pain shot through their backs, the kaiju retaliating with its three prehensile tails piercing into their them.

_Burn this son of a bitch!_ They shouted and stabbed the button to burn the nuclear core like they had with Otachi. Gipsy Danger flared angrily, determined to fight on as they fell into watery petal like structures. Slattern roared painfully and clawed at them in a desperate effort to dislodged the Jaeger, but they held on, the electrical shocks to their back stunning them-

And just as fast, they felt the beast die, the blurry outline of its arms and tail falling limply away. They retracted the blade, wheezing gasps making them cough, sending fresh renewed waves of pain shooting through them. They watched as Slattern's carcass, a neat hole burned completely through the beast like Otachi had, sunk faster into the blue-purple petal-like forms-

_Suzaku and Lelouch suddenly found themselves standing at the edges of the temple-like structure they had only seen in the digital images. Was it a RABIT? No...this was..._

“ _What is...”_

“ _There's someone over there,” Suzaku pointed towards where a set of stairs rose up to a platform._

_Beyond the platform, they saw the distant forms of the rising and curling totems of the kaiju. It was clawing all they way up to a Jovian planetoid. A person, short in stature, male or female they couldn't tell, stood alone on the platform. The person had long white-blond hair, red eyes, and seemingly stared back at them. A cruel smile was on the person's lips-_

_Lelouch suddenly coughed, collapsing next to Suzaku. He knelt down, arms bracing him-_

They were back in the cockpit of their Jaeger, alarms blaring all around them, water filling the conn-pod. Lelouch coughed again, agony searing across their minds and Suzaku realized that whatever damage had already been inflicted was worse with Lelouch. He was beginning to black out from shock, blood loss, he didn't know at this point. He could see Lelouch's eyes half closed, as he valiantly tried to stay awake, stay in the Drift.

_It's okay, I got you...I've always got you_ , he sent the soothing thought as he knew he had to get his partner out of here. He tapped a series of buttons and the Drift faded away from them along with the images of the alien temple that they had just seen. He winced as he felt his own wounds pull, tapping a few more buttons, ignoring how Lelouch tried to reach out to him-

_Don't...I-_

_It's okay, Lelouch, it's okay. You've done enough. I've got this. I've got you..._

“N-No-”

“Shh, shh,” he whispered as he activated the escape sequence for his partner. He had to get him out of here before it was too late. There was nothing else Lelouch could do but survive this.

“Suzaku...” Lelouch whispered as his harness took him up to his escape pod. “Live...” Lelouch's eyes drooped closed as he fell unconscious from his wounds. The pod sealed around him.

Suzaku drew in a breath as he _felt_ the Geass burn in him at Lelouch's command. “Yes...Your Highness,” he replied. _I'll live. I'll come back to you._ He watched as the hatch closed before his panels read that Lelouch's pod had been jettisoned from Gipsy Danger. He turned, keying the sequence for his own pod before he flipped open a panel to set a remote timer for Gipsy's core to detonate.

“LOCENT, I hope you can hear me! I'm about to set the timer for detonation...now!” He stabbed the button.

“Error, manual override needed,” the onboard computer intoned.

Suzaku cursed silently before he detached himself from his harness and landed heavily onto the active flooring of Gipsy Danger. _Live, live, live, live, live, live..._

He hobbled over to the panel he knew was for the core manual override, the sympathetic feedback from having Gipsy's left leg chewed upon bleeding into his own mind. Everything _hurt_ , pulled and twisted muscles along with abrasions and cuts. Blood was flowing somewhere in his drivesuit, he could feel a dampness around his shoulders, especially his right one where Gipsy's arm had been torn off by Raiju. He coughed again, feeling his own ribs protest, including the one he had cracked in the fight against Otachi and Leatherback. It felt like it had cracked again from the damage inflicted by Slattern. But he could _feel_ the Geass compel him to move past all of the pain, to push himself past the limits and live. He had to live.

_Live, live, live, live, live, live, live..._

He knelt down and keyed in the sequence to open the panel before cranking the activation sequence. Blood red numbers started their countdown. He had one minute.

_Live, live, live, live..._

Suzaku wasted no time as he hobbled back to his rig and locked himself back in before finishing the sequence to send himself up to the escape pods. His mind was already silently counting down the numbers to detonation, his eyes burning as he knew he was still in terrible danger as he floated away from Gipsy Danger.

_Live, live, live, live, live...Live Suzaku Kururugi!_

* * *

The Jaeger slowly fell through the alien world, down the strands of kaiju that were entwined together, reaching for the stars. The jovian planet that hovered so tantalizingly in the backdrop, inviting them to become Gods...

Only to come to a hovering stop in front of the platform where a boy, perhaps no older than a mere ten-year-old child stood. He had long platinum blond hair and red eyes that stared balefully at the Jaeger that had invaded this sacred place.

It was the bane of his existence, its pilots were menaces and hindrances to his, to _their_ plans. A nuisance that should have been gotten rid of years ago instead of allowed to live. Why the whelp had not been struck down that day he renounced his claim was beyond him. It found hope and it had grown into an enemy that threatened this place and its existence. How the whelp survived the assassination on that cold February day five years ago was intolerable. They could not fail, not again. Not like this.

Gipsy Danger glowed, a halo of blue emerging from it, an angel come to save the world-

_Charles, your brat will stopped,_ was the last thought from the blond-haired figure before everything exploded.

* * *

“Detonation detected! The Breach has collapsed!” Euphie shouted as she watched the readings from K-Watch. Joy couldn't even begin to cover the emotion she felt as LOCENT exploded into cheers all around her. She felt people slapping her back, hugging her, shaking her as they were swept up into their own celebrations.

“Glinda Advancer's pods have been recovered, pilots are in good shape with minor injuries to report!” Someone called out in the middle of the celebrations.

The cheers died down just a little as they realized that even with the Breach closed, they still had five Jaegers worth of pilots to recover. Euphie turned back to her station, her initial joy fading as she tracked the two life pods that contained Lelouch and Suzaku. They were too deep to get any solid readings yet, but they would be rising up towards the K-Watch sensors soon enough...

“Striker Eureka's pods have been recovered. Pilots reported unconscious and are now being rushed to medical. Sagramore's pods are being recovered, pilots also unconscious and now rushed to medical!”

Striker Eureka and Sagramore had been severely damaged by their close proximity to the nuclear blast that had taken out Scunner and heavily injured Slattern. The Mark V and IV Jaegers had automatically jettisoned their unconscious pilots – a feature that did not exist in the Mark IIIs or lower. The computer system for Gipsy Danger, while upgraded, didn't have enough room for the automatic ejection system, relying on the old method of manual input.

“Vincent Kai recovered! Knight Guilford reported with severe injuries, Marshal li Britannia with light ones. We're transporting them back right now!”

Euphie did not realize she was chewing her thumbnail out of nervous habit until a hand rested lightly on her shoulder. She jumped and turned, but saw that it was only Tohdoh. He nodded once and stepped back to give her a little room just as the ping of the first of Gipsy Danger's pods passed the K-Watch sensors.

It lit green.

Lelouch was alive. Euphie whimpered as tears of joy tracked down her face. Her brother was alive. He was _alive_. Albeit, as she glanced at the readouts, very injured. His heart rate was fast, a sign of pain and she knew that Gipsy had suffered a lot of damage from the kaiju after being thrown around. They had heard it through the comms and it was not a pretty fight.

She watched as Suzaku's pod tracked past the K-Watch sensors and it lit red. No life signs.

Dread immediately filled Euphie as horror overcame her initial joy. “No...no,” she whispered as she stared at the screen. It couldn't be true. Suzaku couldn't have _died_ in the process. He couldn't have- “No, no, no, no!” She shook her head, unwilling to believe that he had come all this way, had fought tooth and nail to be back at Lelouch's side, to be at her side, to sacrifice his life to close the Breach. “Oh God...no.”

It couldn't be true.

* * *

The first thing Lelouch felt was pain. He coughed, trying to curl in on himself, but met resistance as he cracked open his eyes and saw that he was in Gipsy Danger's escape pod. He was confused for a second before all of the memories and events came rushing back.

_Suzaku!_

He sat up, ignoring how his world whited out with a searing pain that left him gasping for a second before resolving itself into the vast blue ocean of the Pacific. Where was Suzaku? He couldn't feel him in his mind, and it was terrifyingly blank-

A slurping sound preceded the second of Gipsy's escape pods popping up from under the water. Bright green dye surrounded the pod, making it easy for the Jumphawks to find them and pick them up, but he didn't care as he pushed himself to move and dove into the water. It hurt to swim, but pain was irrelevant. Suzaku was the most important thing now.

He clambered up to the pod and pulled the safety release, revealing his partner's still face underneath the helmet he wore. Lelouch pulled his own helmet off and grasped at Suzaku's, yanking it off. He threw it into the ocean as he stared for a moment at his lover's brown curls, tracing the features of his elfin-like face. A desperation clawed at Lelouch. Suzaku wasn't moving...his mind was blank- He wasn't responding to his frantic calls-

Lelouch lowered his head towards Suzaku's chest, trying to see if he could hear a heart beat. He couldn't hear anything, nor feel a breath-

He gasped as he shook his head. “No, you can't...you can't leave me,” he whispered as he scooped and pulled at Suzaku's drivesuit until his friend hung limp in his arms. He squeezed tightly, trying to think trying to figure out some way for Suzaku to live. “I told you to live, you idiot! I gave you that command! You can't leave me! Please don't...no...I can't live...I...” He could feel tears track down his own eyes, of how it hurt to breathe, his heart being squeezed so tightly that it hurt-

“Please don't leave me Suzaku...please come back. Please live...I love you,” he whispered like a mantra as he rocked back and forth a little. His best friend, his lover, his partner couldn't have died in that. He had Geassed him to live to be there with him. That they were in this together. That they had each other's backs...

He could hear Euphie crying in his ear, echoing the sorrow he felt. He had been too selfish, too prideful, he had held Suzaku at arm's length because he was so afraid- And now...it was too late-

He felt the cough and it made him want to cough-

Lelouch froze. He _felt_ the cough. He loosened his grip just a hair-

“Lelouch...you're squeezing me too tight.”

Lelouch's grip immediately went slack as he sat back, stunned. A rueful smile was on his friend's face as emerald green eyes met his own. A gloved hand reached out to caress his face and he leaned into it like a man starved for water, kissing at the material before tracing his kisses all over Suzaku's face, not caring that he tasted like saltwater or bitter sweat. Tears fell from his eyes as he landed his last kiss one on his lover's lips, a gentle one that he hoped conveyed his happiness, but most of all, the love he felt. He felt a gloved finger wipe away the tears as Suzaku reached over and collected him gently in his arms.

“I'm okay, Lelouch...I couldn't breathe,” He huffed a quiet laugh that Lelouch returned with some pain-filled hisses. His ribs hurt so much. “It's all right,” He felt the gloved hand card through his hair. He felt protected once more in Suzaku's embrace...

“I lived...and...I love you.”

* * *

Euphie wondered if this was what it felt like to have an emotional high and low going so fast through her like she had just finished a Drift. What had been tears of sorrow had instantly turned into tears of joy as Suzaku had spoken. She heard roaring cheers around them and barely felt Tohdoh reach over to the general microphone near her station and activated it.

“The Breach has been sealed! Stop the war clock!”

The Hong Kong Shatterdome exploded in a veritable wave of cheers, back slaps and joy as they realized the war was finally over. The kaiju had been stopped and the years of hardship had come to an end.

She turned in her seat as others came to offer their congratulations and a job well done. As she stared out into the rest of LOCENT, she noticed an odd looking boy, no older than perhaps sixteen, standing in the middle of the revelers. No one seemed to notice him.

He had short, light brown hair that contrasted his red-violet eyes. He wore the grey uniform of the PPDC, but he didn't look like an officer or staff member. She watched, puzzled as he held up his left hand with five fingers spread out.

Her puzzlement turned into alarm as his other hand held a gun. It was pointed directly at her. She looked from the gun to his eyes and saw his left one suddenly glow – a red bird-like sigil emanated from it.

Time froze the revelers and Euphie in LOCENT.

The boy lowered his fingers for each steady beat as he carefully aimed his gun at Third Princess Euphemia li Britannia. He was the Emperor's answer to Zero's Resistance.

He fired.

~END~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has left kudos, bookmarked or commented on this story. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading and interacting with all of you. I know there will be a lot of lingering questions, so first and foremost: yes, there is a sequel. No, I'm not sure when it's going to be posted because I'm currently working on the Golden Years story (as of 7/30/20).
> 
> A little about the ending - I've always had this ending in mind when I first started outlining and then writing this story. I recommend looking at Notes 3 and 4 on the Jaeger & Kaiju Universe Notes for some of my thoughts on this story and the ending. There are a few questions and comments I may not answer in future reviews due to the fact that they are plot points in the future sequel, but generally, the end of this story is that Lelouch and Suzaku have mended their relationship as much as they could considering the circumstances - but Suzaku will never forgive Lelouch for those last 5 years. What happens to them in the sequel is the rest of their journey.
> 
> Thank you again and I hope to talk to all of you in my next Code Geass offering!


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